Derb Ruins It For Everybody
So Gavin wrote a very funny song based on a very runny Nooners (version: Jesus Lady 2.0) column.
It had a good beat, and you could laugh at wingnuts to it. So along comes Derb from Planet Zoot to fuck it all up for us with his own version of ‘I took the W from my car today’. Which is actually wrong, because the Jesus Lady column specifically said, “I took the W off my car today’. Stupid Derb. Anyway, sample lyrics:
Then one day at work I heard the owner say
He’d make more money if he hired José .
Laid me off with one week’s sev’rance pay.
I took the W from my car today.
To which, you know … well, for starters, would that be the José who gets upset when promising news of a ferry disaster turns out to have drowned nothing more than a few hundred Wogs? And the idea of Derb on the dole … wait a minute, I think I’m warming up to this song.
But wait … there’s more. Not satisfied with butchering irony, Derb decides to make sausage out of history:
HELP ME GET BACK TO THE RIGHT
(with apologies to Sammi Smith and Kris Kristofferson [and humanity — Ed.])Take the W from my car.
Peel it off and let it fall.
Leave the bumper clean and bright
For this sticker from Ron Paul.It’s not me that’s changin’ sides.
It’s more a case of seein’ the light.
I’ve supported Bush too long.
Help me get back to the Right.Was the Iraq War right or wrong?
I’ve giv’n up tryin’ to understand
Just what the heck it is we hope for
In that poor benighted land.Spending restraint is dead and gone.
Smaller government’s out of sight.
I don’t feel like learnin’ Spanish.
Help me get back to the Right.I feel sure I’m not alone.
Help me get back to the Right.Bush conservatism’s a con.
Help me get back to the Right.
UPDATE: This one’s fer Derb …
THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY’S BALANCE
(with apologies to Gene Pitney)
When Georgie Dubya rode to town I just ’bout blew a load, spewed choad
When Georgie Dubya poked around ’twas my asshole he rode
‘Cause a bent-over hack was the only press that Dubya understood
When it came to cummin’ straight in my ass — he was mighty good.
From out of the Courts a stranger came, a bullhorn in his hand, a man
The kind of a man PNAC would need to tame an oil-rich land
‘Cause a bent-over hack was the only press that Dubya understood
When it came to cummin’ straight in my ass — he was mighty good.
“Permanent Republican Control”
🙂
come to think of it, Frankie Lane’s version of “Blazing Saddles” might be the best cowboy song ever done for the silver screen….
oh….
He rode a blazing saddle He wore a shining star
His job to offer battle To bad men near and far
He conquered fear and he conquered hate
He turned our night into day
He made his blazing saddle A torch to light the way
When outlaws rule the West And fear fills the land
A cry went up for a man with guts To take the West in hand
They needed a man who was brave and true With justice for all as his aim
Then out of the sun rode a man with a gun
And Bart was his name, yes Bart was his name
btw I just downloaded Gene Pitney’s Liberty Valence a few hours ago
print the legend!
It amuses me that Derb reads stuff here– no way he just up and writes that on his own. Even so, comparing his song with Gavin’s tells you all need to know about who wields teh clever and who’s drooling cliche (Jose, huh-huh, he’s like brown and stuff).
Could this be the legendary Short Thread?
Could this be the legendary Short Thread?
It just needs a reference to Lynx and Lamb of Prussian Blue.
That oughta fix it, but good.
You could add Sri Lanka and Matt Furey SUCKS! too.
I like Derbyshire. I read his book on Algebra (tres magnifique!), and he’s an evolutionist’s best friend. Plus, how cool is it to have an atheist (de facto, he just hasn’t figured it out yet) and (defender of science writing for National Review.
Does that make me a bad person?