One Is The Nooniest Number That You’ll Ever Do
One of our Noonans has escaped! With a historic flounce, Peggy picked up her bottle of Grey Goose and marched straight off the reservation:
Above: “Peg, it will come back to you…“
American Grit
We can’t fire the president right now, so we’re waiting it out.
Friday, July 13, 2007 12:01 a.m. EDTIt’s been a slow week in a hot era. I found myself Thursday watching President Bush’s news conference and thinking about what it is about him, real or perceived, that makes people who used to smile at the mention of his name now grit their teeth. I mean what it is apart from the huge and obvious issues on which they might disagree with him.
I’m not referring to what used to be called Bush Derangement Syndrome. That phrase suggested that to passionately dislike the president was to be somewhat unhinged. No one thinks that anymore. I received an email before the news conference from as rock-ribbed a Republican as you can find, a Georgia woman (middle-aged, entrepreneurial) who’d previously supported him. She said she’d had it. “I don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth.” I was startled by her vehemence only because she is, as I said, rock-ribbed. Her email reminded me of another, one a friend received some months ago: “I took the W off my car today,” it said on the subject line. It sounded like a country western song, like a great lament.
O! When people ask why ah drive a ‘BM,’
I stand up an’ proudly say:
Ah took the ‘W’. . .off mah car today.
[grun chick-a-chunk chick-a-chunk twang-bow]
Mah wife’s Jeep Rangler,
And mah stepson’s Jeep Agoneer,
Come in handy down on the range,
Mah daughter the hippie,
Has a ’69 V Beetle,
Though the colors are terribly stray-ange,
When I flipped mah Dad’s Hummer,
The ‘m’s were inverted,
And obviously needed to change…
So if the state trooper asks why my plates read ‘Yoming,’
I’ll sit up and proudly say:
Ah took the ‘W’. . .off mah car today.
So if the garage man asks me ’bout my indshield ipers,
I’ll stand up real tall and say:
Ah took the ‘W’. . .off mah car today.
[grun chick-a-chunk chick-a-chunk bow-bow.]
As I watched the news conference, it occurred to me that one of the things that might leave people feeling somewhat disoriented is the president’s seemingly effortless high spirits. He’s in a good mood. There was the usual teasing, the partly aggressive, partly joshing humor, the certitude. He doesn’t seem to be suffering, which is jarring. Presidents in great enterprises that are going badly suffer: Lincoln, LBJ with his head in his hands. Why doesn’t Mr. Bush? Every major domestic initiative of his second term has been ill thought through and ended in failure. His Iraq leadership has failed. His standing is lower than any previous president’s since polling began. He’s in a good mood. Discuss.
‘Discuss?’ It seems like Peggy has picked up some common advertising-inspired speech tics more recent than ‘don’t have a cow, man,’ or ‘where’s the beef.’ We seem to have crested into the mid-’90s here.
Perhaps it’s a Bush Thing — i.e., it’s All About the Bush. I.e., Mmm, Bushy Goodness: That’s a Good Thing. Bush is the New Black. Can you say ‘Bush?’ Sorry; just moving things along into the current century.
But while we’re discussing, it’s been widely noted since the early days of his candidacy for president that Bush seems ignorant, incurious, and removed from reality. The fact that Peggy Noonan has come to notice something wrong with him suggests that he’s gone frighteningly zoinky indeed — worse, even, than Noonan herself, who took a leave of absence from her shriekingly mad opinion column to work on Bush’s 2004 campaign. Good lord, what are these insiders seeing that we aren’t?
I suspect people pick up with Mr. Bush the sense that part of his drama, part of the story of his presidency, is that he gets to be the romantic about history, and the American people get to be the realists. Of the two, the latter is not the more enjoyable role.
Americans have always been somewhat romantic about the meaning of our country, and the beacon it can be for the world, and what the Founders did. But they like the president to be the cool-eyed realist, the tough customer who understands harsh realities.
With Mr. Bush it is the people who are forced to be cool-eyed and realistic. He’s the one who goes off on the toots. This is extremely irritating, and also unnatural. Actually it’s weird.
Um, he’s not the only one who goes off on the toots. But this time we’re worried about ol’ Peg. Any night now, she’s liable to turn up at Fred Thompson’s house wearing nothing but a wan smile and a dusting of body glitter.
Mark Noonan, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you (woo, woo, woo):
The Surge Strategy
By Mark Noonan at 08:41 AMRegarding the President’s press conference – I didn’t catch his opening statement as I was taking the old man to the doctor for some blood work, but in the waiting room I did catch a substantial bit of the Q&A…or, more accurately, the I&A – “insult and answer”. Disgusting the way the MSM acts towards the President – questions along the line of “when will you stop being an idiot and listen to the defeatists?”. In the end, what I got out of it was great sympathy for the President – this must be 20 times or more he has patiently explained reality to idiots who don’t know the first thing about what is going on in Iraq.
Hang in there, Baby!
Can I steal the song premise? Pretty please?
Damn. Bush needs to find another aircraft carrier to land on right quick. Put the cod back into the codpiece, so to speak.
I was startled by her vehemence only because she is, as I said, rock-ribbed.
That sounds like a brand of Republican condoms: Rock-Ribbed for Her Pleasure. Except Republicans don’t need condoms, because they only fuck when it’s time to procreate. Or something.
He’s the one who goes off on the toots.
I thought W. quit “going off on the toots” ever since he found Jeebus.
Poor Peggy’s change of heart has aged her thirty years, if S,N! photo illustrations are anything to go by (hey, youze ain’t the AP, right, so it’s legit?). But she’s aged with grace, as wealth and privilege allow and facilitate.
I’m not referring to what used to be called Bush Derangement Syndrome. That phrase suggested that to passionately dislike the president was to be somewhat unhinged. No one thinks that anymore.
This is the closest we will ever come to a GOPer admitting that yes, in fact, the left was right about Iraq all a-fucking-long. ALL A-FUCKING-LONG.
*deep breath, pops sedative with big swig of Narragansett*
The derangement, dear wingnuts, is in yourselves.
*belch*
…
Oh man.
…
Excuse me, I need to pay a quick visit to the bathroom.
This is going to be a painful 18 months. The President is unable to implement any major policy changes or new laws. But if we let him run-out the clock, and leave Iraq to his successor, we’ll look like spineless, powerless sheep. We should be out on the streets.
These past 2 days I’ve felt like a hostage. Is there no way to break free of Bush? Is it really his world and we’re just living in it?
Even when Bush leaves office, will he really be ‘gone’? His shadow over this nation his successors will be a long one. There is no escaping him and his legacy for a long time to come.
Time to drink.
“Put the cod back into the codpiece, so to speak.”
Yeah, right now it’s flopping like a ….fish?!
I’m not referring to what used to be called Bush Derangement Syndrome. That phrase suggested that to passionately dislike the president was to be somewhat unhinged. No one thinks that anymore.
Looks like Peggy’s suffering from a sever case of BDS.
Fucking preview showing me exactly what I need to do to correct a typo before I post. What is its fucking problem?
I dunno, Bubba. In this case it IS a “sever” case. You got it right, preview be damned…
mikey
I’m not referring to what used to be called Bush Derangement Syndrome. That phrase suggested that to passionately dislike the president was to be somewhat unhinged.
Peg honey, who is it who’s truly “deranged” when it comes to George W. Bush: Those of us who knew at the outset that he was grotesquely incompetent and that the invasion of Iraq was a mistake of epic proportions or people like you who blindly followed him even as he trampled over the US Constitution and severely damaged US credibility around the world?
Yeah, right now it’s flopping like a ….fish?!
Yeah, not a pretty sight. And Peggy Noonan has realized that, well, she has bigger fish to fry.
I suppose it would be petty, crass even, to note that the last straw for Mrs. Noonan, and no doubt many of these most recent Johnny-come-latelys, was because the Bush immigration ploy was to continue hiring them after jumping through import/export hoops, instead of just shooting them.
So frankly, as glad as I am to have right-wingers having to take the same old shit they spat for seven years instead of me, they’re still jerkwads.
Her displeasure with Bush is ever so much more Serious than us pee-ons.
Let alone the euro-pee-ons.
Am I the only one perverse enough to think it’d be fun to meet Mark’s daddy?
Hell, I’m impressed he’s still alive.
N Off topic- Conrad Black found guilty. Woohah.
Gavin, I could see Bob Odenkirk singing that song in a Mr. Show sketch. Well done.
Could Peggy every get desperate and heartbroken enough to reach for the Clenis?
She can reach for my clenis, but only if she’s wearing all that glitter stuff.
/avuncular
…he has patiently explained reality to idiots who don’t know the first thing about what is going on in Iraq.
Bush and Mark Noonan, they know the score!
I suppose it would be petty, crass even, to note that the last straw for Mrs. Noonan, and no doubt many of these most recent Johnny-come-latelys, was because the Bush immigration ploy was to continue hiring them after jumping through import/export hoops, instead of just shooting them.
that was St Ronnie’s special genius – killing them down there so they wouldn’t follow us here.
adb, that’s not fair to Lord Black. He wasn’t convicted by a jury of his peers, just a bunch of commoner Americans, none of whom gave up their citizenship so they could sit in a house of unelected powerless aristocrats. It wasn’t a fair trial.
In the end, what I got out of it was great sympathy for the President – this must be 20 times or more he has patiently explained reality to idiots who don’t know the first thing about what is going on in Iraq.
Sympathy indeed. Mark spends day after day explaining reality to reality and reality just will not listen.
Am I the only one perverse enough to think it’d be fun to meet Mark’s daddy?
Hell, we’re talking about a guy who claims to have crafted a mathematical proof of the existence of God. How could he not be a laff riot?
This may not be a witty rejoinder or bon-mot or anything, but man that post makes me want to punch Mark Noonan in the face.
Reality has a well-known anti-Mark Noonan bias.
This was the guy who believed that the republicans would pick up at least 10 seats in the House in 2006. I don’t know if there is a better example in all the world of the Dunning-Kruger effect.
*deep breath, pops sedative with big swig of Narragansett*
Hey, that’s my town! I knew I liked you guys.
…that post makes me want to punch Mark Noonan in the face.
Ditto.
It strikes me as odd that bush is the only President in living memory who looks better now than when he started. Carter looked drawn and sad at the end of his term. Clinton not so sad, but, you know, older. You can tell who has the weight of the nation on them and who doesn’t. Bush clearly spends his time constructively; playing Halo.
[…] Peggy Noonan can see what others have seen for a long time. A few continue to see Bush’s act as steely […]
And every word of Gavin’s rang true, like it was written in my soul…
Wasn’t the fact that in the 2000 campaign, Bush couldn’t, you know, FUCKING TALK, a clue that he might not be the best man for the job?
Is there no way to break free of Bush? Is it really his world and we’re just living in it?
More Bush Derangement Syndrome, I see. Of course it’s not Bush’s world. There is no need to “break free” of him.
It’s Dick Cheney’s world, and we are stuck in it like mice on a glue trap.
Peggy’s obviously a Liberal, so her opinion can safely be discounted.
Mark’s right, see how Bush explained what’s going on in Iraq in simple terms that even an idiot could understand:
“Al Qaeda in Iraq has sworn allegiance to Osama bin Laden. And the guys who had perpetuated the attacks on America — obviously, the guys on the airplane are dead, and the commanders, many of those are either dead or in captivity, like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. But the people in Iraq, al Qaeda in Iraq, has sworn allegiance to Osama bin Laden. And we need to take al Qaeda in Iraq seriously, just like we need to take al Qaeda anywhere in the world seriously.”
-George W. Bush, 07/12/2007
Al Qaeda in Iraq has sworn allegiance to Osama bin Laden.
In other words, so what?
Now that conservatives hate Bush, Bush Derangement Syndrome doesn’t exist. That’s not fair. If we’re crazy for hating Bush, so are you guys. Suck it.
Thank you for finding a less smarmy photo of the Noonster.
“…I was taking the old man to the doctor for some blood work…”
Not to be crude, but is that a new euphamism for ‘cleaning ones prostate’?
/Okay, I meant to be crude.
//Loved those lyrics, Gavin.
‘Disgusting the way the MSM acts towards the President – questions along the line of “when will you stop being an idiot and listen to the defeatists?”.
It’s the defeaticons against the fantasistcons in an epic battle to control the spark of intelligence in Noonan’s soul. Little do both parties know that the spark has long since deserted Noonan’s vessel.
Nice guy, Noonan. Refers to his father as “the old man.” How respectful. Or does he mean somebody else? His sugar daddy, maybe?
As to Peggy: I’m no expert, but do she, Kate O’Beirne, & Kathleen Parker all use the same hair color? And does it have any resemblance to any of their original colors? (Little Miss Snacks Cakes’ color seems to be a bit lighter, so I didn’t include her, as well as her being a bit farther down on the food chain of hair-colored RW witches. I. e., witches who have real columns in more or less real newspapers, or who appear on media outlets other than FOX.)
And many others. Most others? Indeed, virtually all the female RW shills have virtually the same (unnatural) blond hair color. Did toupee-sportin’ Frank Luntz run a poll on which hair color works best, & then send out the memo?
If we find out which it is, can we get it off the market, putting a stop to all this? Or maybe they used it first & it so damaged their minds they became RW. If which case it would be a public service to get it off the market.
Looksism? Sure, but you certainly can’t reason w/ these people, so why not just pick on the externals? (Yes, Michael Moore is well above the standard height/weight ratio. But not like K-Lo.)
The war is an Hallmark made for TV movie playing out in Noonan’s empty old head.
Hoo boy, here we go again!
Now playing in The Vessel of Noonan’s Empty-headed Theatre:
It’s the Defeaticrats against Robot Chicken in a fight to the death. Megagodzilla waits in the wings to gobble up the winner.
Peggy Noonan gets paid good money to write this way. This is extremely unfair, and also stupid. Actually it sucks.
It strikes me as odd that bush is the only President in living memory who looks better now than when he started….
Definitely….though I’d point out that Reagan barely changed. ‘Course, he always looked embalmed.
Noonan himself will make a cameo appearance as Optimus Victorious. Optimus Victorious’ main weapon is nonsense disguised as deadly rhetoric. With this weapon he seeks to control the universe. The universe, being more than an empty head, escapes him.
what I got out of it was great sympathy for the President – this must be 20 times or more he has patiently explained reality to idiots who don’t know the first thing about what is going on in Iraq.>/i>
Um…how does Mark Noonan know the first thing about what is going on in Iraq?
I love that “patiently explained reality” as a description of what Bush has been doing lately – which of course, consists of him hectoring like the Mad Dad from the podium that “we’re makin’ progress” and “it’s hard work” – now THAT’s some reality!
Oh damn
What’s wrong with me and these tags?
So frankly, as glad as I am to have right-wingers having to take the same old shit they spat for seven years instead of me, they’re still jerkwads.
Pretty much exactly. I’m not welcoming any of these people to my side who think that everything Bush has done is fab *except* the guest worker thing. (Mind you, I loathe the guest worker thing myself, because a moment’s thought will show that if you allow people to stay only so long as their employer says it’s okay you are essentially created open-ended indentured servitude. Tired of working off the clock for hours every day? Gonna keep bitching about the unsafe working conditions? Don’t want to wash my car? You’re fired, oh, and, deported as well. )
But this is another one of those cases where ther enemy of my enemy is still some asshole I want nothing to do with, and the same goes double for the ones who think Bush’s biggest mistake was not killing or torturing enough swarthy people in enough countries he couldn’t locate on a map without ten hints and prominent, phonetically spelled, labels.
So if the state trooper asks why my plates read ‘Yoming,’
Yaw@^*&&*%^%@**&~`#p?
I can’t decide which is my favorite part of that piece by Finch and Lamulia—either the use of the word sputum to describe a PBS series on values hosted by Noonan or the excerpt by Noonan herself in which she fetishizes Reagan’s foot. Both will stay with me for quite some time.
“who is it who’s truly “deranged” when it comes to George W. Bush: Those of us who knew at the outset that he was grotesquely incompetent and that the invasion of Iraq was a mistake of epic proportions or people like you who blindly followed him…”
Hmmm, I’m gonna go with……………….us. No! Wait! I mean people like you. People like you. Yeah, that’s the answer – people like you. I mean…them. They’re deranged. They are. Definitely. Them. People like you. Those people. Them. Seriously fucked up. They’re crazy, man. Crazy.
What did I just win?
Here is the title of the movie in Noonan’s head in which he himself is the star:
The Dhimmi-wit with the Hologram in His Head
Bush’s policies, as government enterprises, are abject failures. But that’s not why his previous supporters are upset. He would still be a president of Lincoln-esque stature if he would only show his true inner hearbreak at his great enterprises that have gone badly.
heartbreak
*sigh*
Totally! When faced with overwhelming intellect, I rely on snark too! Good job Gavin! It doesn’t require you to refute her brilliant ideas. You only have to make fun of her out of context and then suggest whatever socialist agenda you are plugging that day.
Kudos, Gavin!
Cool how you didn’t bother to let her speak for herself though. That’s something new, even from the socialist front. Are you guys going to ‘splain what ‘she meant so say’ next?
I’m sickened by pcspeak aka newspeak, so obviously I’m sickened by you. Make Peggy out to be a bad guy if you want, you sick f*@#’s. It doesn’t matter. The majority of Americans won’t buy into your misinformation. Truth will win out.
“The majority of Americans won’t buy into your misinformation”
Would that be the 26% of Americans who think Bush is doing a heckuva job? Truth -will- out, accompanied by a slew of subpoenas, it is to be hoped.
And that ‘socialist socialist nyaa nyaa’ shtick is a real winner. I think you should use it in -every- sentence.
“It doesn’t require you to refute her brilliant ideas.”
Which Brilliant Idea is that, Sparky? Bush is teh Suxxor? That’s so fucking brilliant, every liberal I know has been saying it for six goddamn years. Nice of Peggy to catch up.
Johnny Something said:
“Would that be the 26% of Americans who think Bush is doing a heckuva job?”
No, but thanks for asking johnboy! In fact, it would not even be the 13% of Americans who think Pelosi is doing a heckuvajob with her Democrat charged Congress!
Bash Bush some more my friend! It won’t solve anything (very typical of the left), but you might be able to score some points! The left is big on that, right?
Dudes, I own you.
!eip ekil I
Kevin you turn that computer off right now and go to bed.
From the July 9th WaPo: “The new Democratic Congress took office in January with a 43 percent approval rating. Since then, its rating has sunk to about the same low levels as President Bush’s, a bit below 30 percent. And Pelosi’s own approval ratings have slipped, from 48 percent in a March poll by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press to 36 percent last month in a Los Angeles Times/Bloomberg poll. Over the same time frame, her disapproval ratings climbed from 22 percent to 39 percent.”
Why are ultraconservatives described as ‘rock ribbed’? To me they seem much more ‘fire brained’ or ‘void hearted’.
¡??d ???l ?
Bash Bush some more my friend! It won’t solve anything (very typical of the left), but you might be able to score some points! The left is big on that, right?
Um, Kevin, and the point of your post would be to do what?
Well, I’d tell you g, but mom said I have to turn off the computer and go to bed :(.
(It was just to make you rethink the value of whining about your prez, my dear pal g.)
Jeebus Kevin, it’s kinda hard to give-a-shit about ya…coming in here talking like a waterhead, what do you expect? As for any pwnage you have in this forum, it’s about the same as what you might get on freshly-laid stool.
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