1
Best Vacation Ever
Or, My Life in the Ghosts of Bush: a (tentative) schedule of my activities for next week’s big Wingnut Jamberoo:
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7th
11:30 AM: Book signing — Whitewash: What the Media Won’t Tell You About Hillary Clinton But Conservatives Will by Walter Peck impersonator Brent Bozell
12:00 PM: Book signing — Caucus of Corruption: The Truth About the New Democratic Majority by Matt Margolis & Mark Noonan, the dumbest bloggers alive
1:00 PM: Speaker – Mark “The Human” Steyn, introduced by alcoholic Long Island JAP Pamela Geller Oshry
1:30 PM: Panel – “Is the G.O.P. Still Lost?”, featuring Sen. Tom Coburn, Sen. Jim DeMint, Rep. Jeff Flake & Rep. Thad McCotter, moderated by income tax genocidist Richard Viguerie
2:00 PM: Book signing — America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It by ethnic cleansing advocate Mark Steyn
2:30 PM: Book signing — The Prince of Darkness: 50 Years of Reporting in Washington by unindicted co-conspirator Bob Novak
3:00 PM: Panel – "Can the Next Generation of Leaders Get Things Right?", featuring Jessica Echard & professional virgin Ben Shapiro, moderated by young American for freedom Jason Mattera 4:00 PM: Book signing — Project President: Bad Hair and Botox on the Way to the White House by compulsive masturbator Ben Shapiro 4:30 PM: Speaker – Presidential crazy person Ron Paul, introduced by has-been/weedhead Bob Barr 5:00 PM: Presentation – Reed Irvine “Accuracy in Media” Award 5:30 PM: Book signing — Upstream: The Ascendance of American Conservativism by wingnut welfare dispenser Al Regnery 7:30 PM: Event – Presidential banquet hosted by Ken Blackwell of the Coalition for a Conservative Majority and featuring basic-cable demagogue Joe Scarborough and a keynote speaker yet to be announced 8:00 PM: Screening — Hillary: The Movie 9:30 PM: Screening — Rediscovering God in America featuring God-fearing multiple divorcee Newt Gingrich FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8th 9:30 AM: Panel – “What Do Liberals Have Planned for Your Money?”, featuring Rep. Patrick McHenry, Rep. Adam Putnam, & baby-drowner Grover Norquist, moderated by Wall Street Journal hack John Fund 10:00 AM: Presentation – “Television Training for Conservatives” 11:30 AM: Book signing — The Late Great U.S.A. by apocalyptic goonball Jerome Corsi 12:00 PM: Panel – “Hugo Chavez Democrats: Silencing the Right”, featuring world nut Joseph Farah, web-based dissimulator Andrew Breitbart & human bowel movement David Horowitz, moderated by Regnery shill Marji Ross 1:00 PM: Presentation – “Blogger of the Year” Award & “Conservative Journalism” Award 2:00 PM: Speaker — former Ann Coulter boy-toy Dinesh D’Souza 2:30 PM: Speaker — former Pam Atlas masturbation fantasy John Bolton 3:00 PM: Book signing — Surrender is Not an Option: Defending America at the United Nations and Abroad by walrus mustache John Bolton 4:00 PM: Panel — “Why Blacks Think Conservative But Vote Liberal”, featuring Rev. Leroy Thomas, the only black conservative they could dig up 4:30 PM: Book signing — No Retreat, No Surrender: One American’s Fight, by baksheesh poster boy Tom DeLay 6:00 PM: Event – CLP reception and book signing with life-hating mutant Ann Coulter 7:30 PM: Event – Ronald Reagan banquet with MC Cleta Mitchell and featured bow-tie George Will dispensing the Jeane Kirkpatrick Academic Freedom Award and the Ronald Reagan Award SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9th 9:30 AM: Panel – “What is Religion’s Role in Politics?”, featuring Nick Gillespie and moron-provocateur Mike S. Adams 10:30 AM: Book signing — Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts ‘Womyn’ on Campus by sinful dwarf Mike S. Adams 11:00 AM: Panel – “Liberal Bias on Campus: The Challenge to Restore Balance to Our Universities”, featuring John Leo and David Horowitz (a.k.a. Fuddy and Duddy) 11:30 AM: Book signing — A Time to Clash: Papers from a Provocative Pastor by meaty fanatic Doug S. Giles 12:00 PM: Book signing — Real Change: From the World That Fails to the World That Works by futuristic blowjob enthusiast Newt Gingrich 1:00 PM: Panel — “Threats to Our Nation’s Sovereignty”, featuring oral sex naysayer Cliff Kincaid, Tom Fitton, xenophobic dingbat Thomas Kilgallen & withered authoritarian Phyllis Schlafly 2:00 PM: Speaker – chunky peanut butter-style revolutionary Newt Gingrich Oh, the fun we’ll have!
Jennifer said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:48
Good lord, man.
3 full days? I fear for your health and sanity.
ignobility said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:48
You know we’re all pullling for you to win the Blogger of the Year Award on Friday. Got my fingers crossed!
atheist said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:50
Amos Tutuola references? Are you guys like the best-read bloggers on the planet or what?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:52
Talk about Lost!
GeoX said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:54
I can only echo Jennifer’s sentiment. That’s WAY too much highly-concentrated wingnuttery to survive. Dulce et decorum est pro sadly, no! mori, I guess.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:55
…or it could be a reference to the Eno & Byrne album, which was a reference to Tutuola’s novel.
atheist said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:55
I would be interested to hear how Ron Paul goes over there. Say what you will about Paul, his politics are quite far from those of almost everyone else there.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:55
Godspeed, Mister Leonard Pierce!
Fozzetti said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:56
I hope you bring Pain Killers.
atheist said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:56
Blue Buddha:
Oh… didn’t think of that, thanks.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:57
Yeah, I kinda wondered how he wound up on the guest list… especially with the ever widening rift between paleocons and neocons.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:59
I take it that it’s his autobiography. Nice title.
Vin Scully said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:59
10:00 AM: Presentation – “Television Training for Conservatives”
A ha! So this event is for minor-league wingnut bloggers and cranks looking to press the flesh with Regnery and learn how to get on the pundit gravy train!
Leonard, as bad as Giles or Oshry may be, imagine how many of your fellow conventioneers are gonna be right-wing meatballs dreaming of becoming them, but who lack the talent and charisma. Sweet God, you are going to be standing in some of the most unpleasant lines of your life.
julia said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:59
FYI, D’Souza wasn’t Coulter’s boytoy, he was Laura Ingraham’s.
What a completely terrifying schedule.
tigrismus said,
February 1, 2008 at 3:59
“Hugo Chavez Democrats: Silencing the Right”, smack in the middle of a whole weekend devoted to right-wing books, blogs, and blather? Sweet!
The Return of The Attack of Arky Cthulhusexual said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:01
Godspeed sir!
[Sniff] O, he’s so brave!
If starts to make sense, run, do not walk, down to Adams Morgan or Dupont Circle. Actually, you might spot a number of your fellow conference attendees in Dupont Circle late Friday night. Follow the sound of tapping toes.
Question: Is that wife Numero 6 looking over Newt’s shoulder?
stryx said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:05
It’s quite an accomplishment to able to link to SN! for nearly all of those people.
Just don’t go all stockholm on us. At least Gav conducted his experiment under the supervision of a Doctor.
Check the Jeanne K link, MLP. Tis malformed.
stryx said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:07
Sorry, wrong female wingnut.
Schlafly, try that one.
Candy said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:11
Jeezo Pete, I couldn’t even read through the itinerary! I bow humbly, and doff my cap. You are one brave man.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:11
My guess is it has something to do with Dr. Paul’s ability to attract large amounts of the one thing Vari-cons can’t resist.
No. NOT hookers, diapers or wet suits.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:12
“futuristic blowjob enthusiast Newt Gingrich”
Erm, what distinguishes a “futuristic” blowjob from your run-of-the-mill contemporary blowjob?
stryx said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:14
Spacesuits
Lesley said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:17
Bring body guards and don’t accept a drink in a glass or leave your drinks unattended.
You are a brave individual, Leonard.
mikey said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:17
Mr. Pierce. I don’t know you. But I salute you.
And I promise, I’ll put fresh cut flowers on your grave every year. You are an honorable, if somewhat gullible man.
Now. Seriously. Think about weapons.
No, I know, you gotta go non-lethal, but you got options.
Mace, taser, stun gun, flash bangs. You’re gonna be surrounded.
Your strategy needs to be all about extraction and exfiltration. You need to have a bailout plan and know all your exits. ‘Cause there’s gonna come that moment.
You know the one. All of a sudden, all the voracious thugs are going to begin to get it. At some lizard brain level, they are going to sense that not only are you not of them, you are having them on. At the moment that realization strikes home, and begins to percolate through the mob, your clock is running. You need to find a way out before they, en masse, devour you and all you ever held holy.
That’s when your nonlethal and area denial weapons systems will serve you well.
Good luck. Bon Chance. Get Some…
mikey
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:19
True… after all, you do need the Benjamins to get those hookers, diapers and wetsuits.
Woodrowfan said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:19
Corsi is there? Isn’t he a 9/11 wack-job now?? Maybe he can trade tinfoil hat tips with Ron Paul!
aschupanitz said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:22
My world just got a whole lot happier.
robert green said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:26
leonard–i’m jealous. spend my 20 bucks wisely. i suggest two hits of ecstasy.
as for eno references, please note my blog and my film company. today i lectured 100 kids who want to get into the film business, asked them if the name of company was any sort of reference for them, and got back: “um, cuz your last name is Green?”
fuckwads. i’m not going to read any of their scripts.
Lesley said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:28
jeesus, it’s mindboggling the events they’ve got planned. It’ll be like entering The Gated Community of Hell where Stepford wives live. You might want to do some ecstacy.
Lesley said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:29
and we thought Gavin was brave when he did the Cheesie experiments.
Candy said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:30
I got a clear mental picture of the pod people from the 1970s version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers pointing at poor Mr.Pierce and making that unholy screeching noise.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:35
“i lectured 100 kids who want to get into the film business, asked them if the name of company was any sort of reference for them, and got back: “um, cuz your last name is Green?”
What do you expect. Even to a 25 year old, Green Day is classic rock. “Those dudes have been around since like, 1993.” Brian Eno? As far as they’re concerned, you might as well be asking about Grandpa Jones or Tennessee Earnest Ford.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:37
Will you be live blogging? If you start to sound a bit confused I’ll come down and drag you out of there.
If we don’t hear from you by 10 February I’ll check Rock Creek.
Just remember, if anyone invites you to walk across either of the bridges at night: Don’t. Go. Ditto a stroll around the Zoo right before closing time.
Candy said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:39
Will you be live blogging?
Yes, I too was wondering if you were going to be live blogging. If you are, I hope it doesn’t end with cries of “Oh, the humanity!” Nah, more likely “Oh, the inhumanity!”
Lakeesha Shaidle said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:40
What? No Pantload?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:42
Woodrowfan said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:19
Corsi is there? Isn’t he a 9/11 wack-job now?? Maybe he can trade tinfoil hat tips with Ron Paul!
Last I checked, Corsi was swiftboating along with fellow Gooper operative John O’Neill.
Obviously, I haven’t bothered checking in some time.
mikefromtexas said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:42
Looks about as much fun as a colonoscopy.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:45
http://www.blogfucker.com/9622/invasion23.jpg
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:47
Did somebody say Tennessee Earnie Ford?
Smut Clyde said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:47
Right next to me a huge reptile was gnawing on a woman’s neck, the carpet was a blood-soaked sponge — impossible to walk on it, no footing at all. “Order some golf shoes,” I whispered. “Otherwise, we’ll never get out of this place alive. You notice that these lizards don’t have any trouble moving around in this muck — that’s because they have claws on their feet.”
“Lizards?” he said. “If you think we’re in trouble now, wait till you see that’s happening in the elevators.” He took off his Brazilian sunglasses and I could see he’d been crying.
Gundamhead said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:47
You’re seriously going to that thing? You are one badass mothafucker (where’s my Iced tea?!)
mikey said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:50
Holy shit, Bimler, you make me wish I (um, and I guess you too) was gay!!
mikey
Tara the anti-social social worker said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:51
I don’t think Ecstasy will be strong enough. Bring Cheetos, Mountain Dew, tequila, peyote, Oxycontin, Valium, Prozac, Ritalin, and whatever normally gets prescribed for Restless Sanity syndrome.
Smut Clyde said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:52
I knew Mikey would pick up on HST quotes.
mikey said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:54
Oh no.
Only one chemical qualifies for use in this nightmare.
Lima. Sierra. Delta.
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
Lysergic acid 25.
I’d go with fourteen hundred mics to start…
mikey
Candy said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:55
Good ol’ Donald Sutherland! Thanks, Blue!
mikey said,
February 1, 2008 at 4:55
Well hell yeah.
I’ve been muttering “order golf shoes…Charge them to the room” to strangers for years in order to determine, if nothing else, who might be worth talking to…
mikey
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:08
A musical tribute to the bold adventurer.
10 points if you whistle or hum it near Mark “Y-fronts” Steyn.
MzNicky said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:11
As usual I don’t know half of what you guys are goin’ on about, but let me just say that Mr. Leonard Pierce has my utmost respect and best wishes for the escapade into which he is about to endeavour.
Hysterical Woman said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:14
If I was Newt I’d fear God too. (Either that or karma)
gbear said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:17
Erm, what distinguishes a “futuristic” blowjob from your run-of-the-mill contemporary blowjob?
Polypropylene accessories.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:17
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:08
A musical tribute to the bold adventurer.
What Arky said.
Me said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:18
or it could be a reference to the Eno & Byrne album
My vote is for the Eno/Byrne thing, since I’ve never heard of the other person.
Paddy Mac said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:22
Mr. Pierce, for the love of God, remember:
NARROW Stance!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:24
NARROW Stance!
Less Tapping!
J— said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:26
Ride that wave of notoriety generated by “liberal fascism,” Jonah, because as of Friday, February 8, 2008, “Hugo Chavez Democrats” will take over as the hip new insult.
It appears Lisa De Pasquale, CPAC Director at the American Conservative Union, introduced the witty term. De Pasquale knew she had to so something when she discovered liberals were brutally repressing conservatives by expressing their opinion, sometimes even organizing themselves to do so in a coordinated manner. Just like Hugo Chavez.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:27
Once again we turn to the YouTube Army for answers.
gbear said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:28
What? No Pantload?
He’ll just be walking thru the crowd in a sea of palm branches and rose petals, autographing programs and breasts. He’ll be receiving endless offers of drugs and free sex. It will be the moment he will remember on his long spiral down into poverty and oblivion. Someday Nick Nolte or Kris Kristofferson will portray him in the film version of his life.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:28
Preview is our friend.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:31
From Ted Haggard.
You are too kind. The Pillsbury Doughboy already has his agent working on it.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:32
Speaking of teh pantload, LF was ranked #9 at Amazon a few days ago. Right now, it’s #22. My, how quickly has the mighty fallen.
Blue Buddha said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:34
Considering that neither Nolte or Kristofferson have more than a few years left in them… that’s pretty harsh.
atheist said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:36
Mister Pierce, I forgot to say, I admire your courage. I don’t think I would do something like that. Good luck.
And yeah, maybe bring some mace or something like Mikey said.
Chris St. James said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:40
Good luck Leonard. Who knows maybe you’ll see the light and leave a changed man.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:40
Preview is our fiend
I knew David Frum reminded me of someone.
gbear said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:42
You are too kind. The Pillsbury Doughboy already has his agent working on it.
The Pillsbury Doughboy never gets old though. We need someone who makes Dorian Gray’s portrait look fresh.
I tried to find a Doughboy short film from the 70′s called Poppin’ Death, but couldn’t find it. The entire film takes place looking at the window of an oven with the only sound being the gas oven. The doughboy comes up to the window and starts hollering for someone to let him out, but you can’t hear anything but the oven. He becomes more and more desperate as the minutes pass, and in the final moments, he drops dead in the oven and turns golden brown. It’s a heartbreaker, I tell you.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:45
Just reading that schedule gave me a headache, and I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I can’t imagine how you’re going to survive. But Godspeed to you, sir.
Me said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:45
I tried to find a Doughboy short film from the 70’s called Poppin’ Death
Sounds awesome. It must have been part of that “Bambi Meets Godzilla” wave.
Snorghagen said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:47
Don’t forget to bring ample supplies of joy buzzers, whoopie cushions, and rubber dog turds.
You’ll need plenty of that, too. Imagine trying to carry on a conversation with John Bolton while his moustache keeps moving, growing, pulsating. It’d be the experience of a lifetime!
lobbey said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:47
Oh, man, you are brave, couple of requests, though. Pictures, lots of them, I am intrigued to see if the visitors to a thing like this are the geeky, mouthbreathers I expect, and probably 95% male, I imagine. 2nd request, any chance you could slip some acid into the drinking water, Steyn & Shapiro on acid, that would be fun.
MrWonderful said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:48
Pierce–
All our thoughts and prayers are with you. Don’t hesitate to send up a flare. There will be S,N! observers in the DelMarVa area ready to extract you. Don’t be a hero. Or, alt., DO be a hero, and make us proud.
gbear said,
February 1, 2008 at 5:59
Don’t bring anything that is in white powder form or they’ll have you down in gitmo as an anthrax terrorist before you can sneeze.
CaseyL said,
February 1, 2008 at 6:09
What a completely hellish, mind-numbing, soul-devouring program line up! I think I’m going to have nightmares now.
You’re very brave.
Please also be very observant. That’s a lot of essence of pure evil all in one place. If you’ve ever seen Time Bandits, you know what happens if you get within touching distance of that stuff.
If you see weird thick black smoke, if you smell burning blood and hear David Warner’s voice shouting from the sky, for the love of God: Run! Run for your life!
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,
February 1, 2008 at 6:41
“By the time we got to Wankstock, we were half a million strong…”
Anastasius said,
February 1, 2008 at 6:43
3 full days? I fear for your health and sanity.
I fear that whatever is left over from the little fundraiser will inevitably be used on psychiatrist bills.
Anyway, my survival tip: Sprinkle some cheeto dust over yourself. It’s like wingnut pheromones. Though I am not responsible if you end up with Ann Coulter on your arm all weekend.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 6:48
WM,JoLF wins a lifetime supply of fRightWing repellent.
Anastasius, speaking for 10% of the male population: Ann Coulter on one’s arm would be just barely tolerable. You could pretend she was a soberly dressed drag queen.
Any other body part and you’re talking traps and coyotes’ paws.
Fozzetti said,
February 1, 2008 at 6:56
So, who are YOU going as?
SamFromUtah said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:10
mikefromtexas said: Looks about as much fun as a colonoscopy.
Pretty much what I was thinking.
According to Google Maps, I live 1,838 miles from the venue. I’m not sure that’s far enough.
sxwarren said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:10
I second mikey’s advice and further suggest that you take plenty of Doc Gonzo’s Trail Mix along. And keep a steel-shafted, 60-degree Cleveland wedge slung over your shoulder at all times. Wielded smartly, it should allow you to dispatch two or three at a time and cause the rest of the mob to hesitate just long enough.
Seriously, just thinking about your epic excursion into that foreign and hostile land, that desolate Dumbfuckistan, is compelling me even now to wash down random handfuls of colorful pills with several ounces of Basil-Hayden’s.
Mark D said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:27
I can see it now:
“Okay class … let’s start by grabbing the remote control on the table in front of you. Okay … you see the button that says, “Power”? Push it to turn the TV on. Then we … ”
I knew they were dumb and all, but … damn.
You are a much, much, MUCH braver person than I. Not just for mental sanity sake, but for your physical well being.
Seriously. Some of those folks are nuttier than elephant shit. Watch yourself.
a different brad said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:31
Isn’t Ken Blackwell supposed to be in prison?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:37
a different brad said,
February 1, 2008 at 7:31
Isn’t Ken Blackwell supposed to be in prison?
Yes. But so is Traitor Bob Novak.
Lesley said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:04
Will Ann Coulter be there?
Oh sorry, Leonard, didn’t mean to give you a nightmare ahead of time.
Hey, all, Leonard’s going to need a debriefing when he comes out of there. Are there any good psychologists here who can help him out?
Lesley said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:06
Hey, what’s the dress code for these events? Brown polyester slightly too short slacks and tap shoes (for the bathroom)?
Principal Blackman said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:06
FYI, D’Souza wasn’t Coulter’s boytoy, he was Laura Ingraham’s.
Actually, he was boytoy to both of them. (Not at the same time, one would hope.) If he ever gets with Malkin, he’ll have hit for the wingnut cycle.
That schedule looks like a parody, but it isn’t, and the fact that it isn’t makes it read like hell’s itinerary. Don’t pick the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Lesley said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:10
ok, last comment.
arrange for this photo: you arm in arm with Atlas Pam and Ann Coulter. Seriously, that would be so funny. Leonard hobknobbing with two shrews.
Marco said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:21
You are brave Mister P. If I were to go, I’d give myself 20 minutes before running to my hotel room, barricading the door with a room service cart and huddling int the corner with the butter knife I used on my nine-dollar croissant.
Adara said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:28
That. Sounds. EXHAUSTING. (Oh, and soul-crushing.)
I commend you for your strength.
Marsupial said,
February 1, 2008 at 8:46
That’s some schedule — I know a doctor that can get you a lot of Vicodin & Xanax if you need it.
owlbear1 said,
February 1, 2008 at 9:10
Oh my! …
Smut Clyde said,
February 1, 2008 at 9:55
Are you accompanied by a good cartoonist? Ralph Steadman may or may not be available.
Fozzetti said,
February 1, 2008 at 10:09
The convention seems to be attended by the more repellent second-string wingnuts; Dr. Mike, Pastor Giles, Horowitch…bleah.
shystee said,
February 1, 2008 at 10:35
A (pretty effin darn good) Cartoonist: http://thismodernworld.com/contact/
Steadman is the Man, of course. If you can get a hold of him. Just promise Ralph you won’t douse him with some of Mikey’s recommended mace before you toss him out of the car at the airport.
You GO, Mr. Leonard!
blowback said,
February 1, 2008 at 13:20
Thank heaven for small mercies – at least in the photo of Frogspawn Gingrich, we don’t have to look down Pam Atlas’
cleavagestash of silicone.Leonard – when you are at CPAC 2008, ask Pam if she has ever done a MILF shoot for bigboobsnextdoor.com or siliconsweeties.com.
dalton periphery said,
February 1, 2008 at 13:24
Mr. Pierce, remember while plumbing the heart of darkness, if it gets too hairy just head north and a little east, where the People’s Republic of Takoma Park will welcome and shelter you- just take the underground railroad (Metro) up here to the land of the DFH for sanctuary, we’re just across the DC line and they can’t follow you here, the atmosphere is a sort of natural wingnut repellant- its all rainbow flags and multiculti and dogs and cats living together.
May the armor of your sense of humor protect and defend you sir. H.P. Lovecraft never imagined a more horrifying scene than the one you are about to infiltrate.
Xavier Breath said,
February 1, 2008 at 14:09
OMG it’s like 2 girls 1 cup LIVE for 3 days. I feel sorry for you. But I do look forward to the reaction video.
zoe kentucky said,
February 1, 2008 at 15:24
I’ve been to CPAC 4 times (98-02) as an undercover reporter for a left-wing organization, People For the American Way. It’s amusing the first day, by the 2nd it’s pretty much sad and soul-sucking, by the 3rd I just felt depressed and dirty. It didn’t matter how many years I went, it’s nearly always the same people, the same topics. It’s the right-wing laid bare and it is NOT a pretty sight. They really are a bunch of arrogant, judgemental, xenophobic, racist, sexist, homophobic freaks.
My only advice is to try and go in cognito. The kind of shit that people say to you if you’re trying to fit in and pretend you’re one of them– I wore anti-abortion buttons– was nuts. Plus I nearly knocked over Ralph Reed in the lobby accidently. Good times.
Also, no Alan Keyes? He really knows how to fill a room. Ann Coulter is worshipped like a goddess.
thelogos said,
February 1, 2008 at 16:17
Great googly-oogly, that’s this weekend. Why can’t these fuckers go to Des Moines or some shit-hole in texas? why do they have to come here to DC?
Candy said,
February 1, 2008 at 16:26
We don’t want them in Des Moines, thelogos. They’d just get beat up here, anyway.
On second thought, send ‘em here.
Robert M. said,
February 1, 2008 at 16:41
Is there really an “Accuracy in Media” award, sandwiched between presentations from racist, conspiracy-laden newsletter publisher Ron Paul and Al freaking Regnery?
Irony is not dead! Although, judging from the program, she might be a tad overworked this weekend.
Good luck, Mr. Pierce!
Arky The Blasphemer said,
February 1, 2008 at 17:38
The best part is your pre-announced presence will have them tied up in paranoid knots all weekend. “Not now Master Gannon, Sir. An auslander might see us!”
He can reach the Homosocialists Republic of Dupont Circle on foot. Even though most of the trip is downhill I doubt the flabby bastards will be able to keep up. Besides, the gauntlet of restaurants staffed by brown people serving brown people food will scare them away.
Jon H said,
February 1, 2008 at 18:08
Have a great time! Don’t forget to take your keffiyeh! They’d *love* that.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
February 1, 2008 at 18:42
I owe you $$$ for this trip. How can I provide the support that I pledged? (the fact that I was completely shitfaced when I said I’d give $$$ in no way alters the sincerity of my pledge).
Duros62 said,
February 1, 2008 at 18:44
Cause there’s gonna come that moment.
This one?
Braaaaiiiinnns.
Try not to giggle during the lectures.
Oh, and will there be cosplay?
Innocent Bystander said,
February 1, 2008 at 18:52
Remember to take the blue pill before entering the matrix.
Major Woody said,
February 1, 2008 at 19:38
Please, please, please tell me that you will be adequately prepared for this. I’m thinking along the lines of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.
Major Woody said,
February 1, 2008 at 19:40
zoe kentucky said,
They really are a bunch of arrogant, judgemental, xenophobic, racist, sexist, homophobic freaks.”
You don’t say!
Legalize said,
February 1, 2008 at 19:42
I suggest a robust liberal fascist exercise and health regime before attending this hellish event, as once you are inside you will be constantly exposed to the farts, back sweat, toxic Cheeto dust, and pent-up virginity of all the little weenies running around the place. Fresh air, clean water, and non-fast food will be in short supply.
The Kenosha Kid said,
February 1, 2008 at 19:43
alcoholic Long Island JAP
I find the use of this term highly offensive!
I can’t stand redundancy.
Duros62 said,
February 1, 2008 at 20:13
Please, please, please tell me that you will be adequately prepared for this. I’m thinking along the lines of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.
I’m thinking along the lines of a bomb vest. But that’s just me.
(note to NSA and verizon: just kidding.)
Duros62 said,
February 1, 2008 at 20:16
Oops.
Looks like She-Ra won’t make it this year.
dadanarchist said,
February 1, 2008 at 20:22
“What do you expect. Even to a 25 year old, Green Day is classic rock. “Those dudes have been around since like, 1993.” ”
Hey now! I’m 29 and I own every Eno album I’ve been able to get my hands on!
And I saw Green Day in Berkeley in 1992!
socraticsilence said,
February 1, 2008 at 20:49
So, with 3-4 seperate things on Hillary, CPAC’s kind of fucked if Tuesday goes the other way aren’t they? I mean couldn’t they add something else to “Blacks: We try and pretend African Americans can’t remember the last half century” How about “Obama: how to hate him without getting removed from public life, aka Put the sheets back in the Closet Pat” or Barak Hussein Obama: Scret Muslim” Seriously though, this is what happens when you make someone look like Satan for 16 years, it becomes hard to dmeonize others to the same degree.
Cpl. Chron said,
February 1, 2008 at 20:57
Welp, it looks and sounds a lot like an eternal nightmare in hell to me, but to each their own. Good luck.
Anastasius said,
February 1, 2008 at 22:28
Oh, and will there be cosplay?
Political cosplay? You mean like suits and ties? I’d think there might be some.
Chairman Meow said,
February 2, 2008 at 6:03
10:00 AM: Presentation – “Television Training for Conservatives”
Flush when you’re finished.
Duros62 said,
February 2, 2008 at 21:09
You mean like suits and ties?
Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck! You funny.
I meant like dressing up as your favorite wingnut. You know, the K-lo and Wolfie impersonators and such.
Eh, my brain just had a mini-seizure at the thought.
Duros62 said,
February 2, 2008 at 21:09
10:00 AM: Presentation – “Television Training for Conservatives”
Flush when you’re finished.
And put the goddammed seat down for once!
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