Dumb, meet dumber.

Nuh-huh. Nice try Mr. Aristophanes, but you’re not fooling this pilgrim into watching a fox news video on professional wrestling.

It’s worth it, Some Guy, just to see one of Warrior’s neck veins pop off like an out of control fire hose and spray pure liquid steroids all over Alan Colmes’ glasses.

The similarities between Fox News and American Pro-Wrestling have never been more glaring.

Well, okay then, D. I’ll watch.

Is there some weird delay going on with “Warrior”‘s mic? Sometimes he seems off, but not all the time.

And why does Colmes feel the need to make mention that he’s a “liberal”.

God, Hannity is such a shit-eating pussy.

That was pretty funny, near the end, cause he’s all ready to smash through the screen like the Kool Aid guy.

Shorter Warrior: STEROIDS NOT MAKE WARRIOR MAD!!! GAHHH!!!! WARRIOR SMASH FOX MAN WHO SAY STEROIDS MAKE WARRIOR HAVE ROID RAGE!!!!

Wouldn’t it have been great if Hannity had been in the same room with Warrior? Just picture it: “I didn’t ask you that…ACK…AARGH!” Voila, Hannity with a crushed windpipe and knees that bend both ways. It’s almost too good a dream to wake up from…

I want to click “Play”…but I’m afraid. Dare I?

I can see the upcomming ads from FNC now:

Fox News, now with 100% more Destrucity.

Ok. THAT was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.

I thought Warrior did fairly well considering what show he was on. I agree with his point that looking to steroids as the villain is too simplistic, there were a lot of factors.

This is akin to somebody smoking some weed before killing a few people then some shitheads trying to blame the weed for inducing the subject to kill.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc. Faulty reasoning is not just the purview of Fox.

My stance on use of steroids (or any drugs for that matter) in sports is “Use them!” To think that Sport is some untouched Domain of the Pure is self-delusion. Let them go nuts. Juice up Barry and see how many dingers he can tally before his heart bursts or brain fills up with tumors. How fast can a runner do the 100 meters after doing an eight ball? What are the limits of man when pharmaceuticals come into play? There’s a whole set of records to crush.

For the purists we can label the time before open acceptance of drug use as the Pre-Enhanced Era…I propose the cutoff for the Pre-Enhanced Era be 1900. From that point on I have doubts that drugs didn’t play a part in most human performance records on the books.

Dang. I can’t watch it this morning cause there’s a guest sleeping on my couch and I don’t want to wake him. But your recaps do it for me.

Isn’t Warrior the guy who wrote a column skewered by Sadly, No a while back? God knows what it was about, except that it was manly AND hated liberals.

Warrior columns and speeches aren’t really “about” anything, per se. They’re sort of drooling, stream-of-consciousness ramblings about how he’s a great mentor to whatever idiot college Republican clubs are stupid enough to pay him a speaker’s fee and how he can destroy anyone in a real fight, even though a.) as far as I can tell he’s never been in one, and b.) he was recently confronted by drunken, overweight 60-something Iron Sheik and basically cowered behind security guards: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7IdaSlpIN8

Iron Sheik and YouTube are a match made in heaven, by the way: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-wEUCCvE0

Well, he’s convinced me. Where’s the syringe?

Favorite quote:

“I don’t have a stupid button on me that I can push to get stupid!”

I thought Warrior did fairly well considering what show he was on. I agree with his point that looking to steroids as the villain is too simplistic, there were a lot of factors.

Yeah, I personally thought that what “The Warrior” had to say was more sensible than what Hannity said.

That’s not to say that either one is normal, or that “Warrior” would necessarily give me the same kind of openminded listen, were I the one up there.

Some Guy–

Colmes’s “thanks for talking to a liberal” is perhaps what is most hateful and really, really, really fucking contemptible thing about him. (I say “perhaps” because reasonable people might say, “Yes, but what about the fact that he’s Sean Hannity’s butt-boy?”)

The self-hate, the sheer lack of testicality, the cringing servile dicklessness–I look askance at these and I don’t mind saying so. “Uncle Tom” doesn’t begin to describe it, and is an insult to uncles and guys named Tom.

When Al Franken printed “Colmes” in tiny type in Lies and the Lying Liars, I had never heard of Colmes, and wondered what he meant. But boy was that right. He’s a political castrato and sings all the approved arias.

“what is most….thing about him.”

Are you happy, S, N!? NOW can we have the Preview button back?

Mr. Wonderful,

The self-hate, the sheer lack of testicality, the cringing servile dicklessness–I look askance at these and I don’t mind saying so. “Uncle Tom” doesn’t begin to describe it, and is an insult to uncles and guys named Tom.

I think the best term for him is “Straw-Liberal”: he’s the physical manifestation of right-wing stereotypes of liberals, a living, breathing strawman fallacy that exists solely to be skewered by the right-wing host’s “brilliant” and “logical” “arguments”. He doesn’t even rise to the level “straightman” or “set-up man”: he’s more like those guys in Plato’s dialogs who say nothing but “Yes, Socrates. Of course, Socrates. How could it be otherwise, Socrates?”

Amanda Marcotte has long used the term “Straw-Feminist” to describe the mythical, stereotype “feminazi” that Rush et al. are constantly arguing against (You know all those man-hating sluts who recruit young girls into homosexuality and witchcraft and then have abortion parties to they kill all the babies conceived during their lesbian orgies and “castrate all the men” shindigs? Yeah, them.). It’s a great description of a characterized strawman argument.

Say what you want, but I don’t think I’d provoke that chunk of flesh. Just because he identifies himself as a ‘bottom’ doesn’t mean he couldn’t crush me with one blow.

Now that’s a double entendre!

I rather liked the flirting the two did at the beginning of the clip. They want to get in the cage together. Hannity asks with a shy smile, “How long do I have to last?” Warrior with mock-gruffness that he knows Sean likes, “Until I’m done!”

It is kind of sweet, really.

“I don’t have a stupid button on me that I can push to get stupid!”
Or apparently a smart button either.

Danny Bonaduce on steroids is a lot funnier than this guy.

“I didn’t beat up Greg Brady for YOUR amusement, I beat up Greg Brady for MY amusement!”

Also about Colmes: notice how the token liberal on FOX News has a weasel face?

Hmmm. Hmmmm.

I don’t know about you, but *I* was intimidated by his pure form of conservatism.

Warrior is such a loser. I used to watch him in WCW some years ago. All he would do is come out to the ring and give long, rambling speeches full of made up words and then wrestle a 30 second match full of weak, lame-ass moves that would make Nancy Reagan look like a powerhouse. All of which he’d win, of course (you see, Warrior refused to follow scripts where he’d lose). Then he’d retire, winded and tired from his 30 seconds of awkward flailing, to the backstage area to whine about how he needed more time for long, boring speeches.

“All he would do is come out to the ring and give long, rambling speeches full of made up words and then wrestle a 30 second match full of weak, lame-ass moves that would make Nancy Reagan look like a powerhouse.”

Pretty typical of WCW in it’s latter days, paying buttloads of money and main-event spots to glorified body-builders whose technical in-ring skill was nonexistent. While they were keeping all the talent they important from Mexico and Japan at the bottom of the card, they kept on booking washed-up hasbeens like Warrior and Hogan as main-eventers, with repetitively disasterous results

Between the wasting money hand-over fist, inability to recognize competence or skill, and stubborn attachment to failed strategy, I’m pretty sure WCW is a good metaphor for the Bush administration