Chronicles Of Glibertarianism, Vol. Eleventy Hundred

How’d I miss this?! My old friend Patrick Bateman liveblogged the Republican Debate:

Duncan Hunter talks tough on Iraq, mostly *towards* the Iraqi army. Smart move? Sure. But who the hell is Duncan Hunter?

TECH NOTE: MSNBC’s live feed hasn’t come up yet, and the Politico’s is so slow as to be useless. I might be switching over to the VodkaMacBook and a TV…

UPDATE (6:15pm MDT): For the first time ever, technical problems threaten to kill a drunkblogging event. Back in a few minutes.

6:20pm Man, who’d have ever thought it would be so much work to set up a drunkblog? Also, who are these people on my TV? The banner says MSNBC. The scroll says GOP Presidential Debate. But half these guys are almost mysteries, even to me. And they got personal invites from Nancy Reagan?

6:22pm Tom McCain just lost a great chance to win Colorado by saying “yes” to Tom Tancredo – but without using his name, and then segueing into a canned response about bin Laden. Rookie move for an old guy.

6:25pm Imagine you’re watching Hardball, only Matthews has ten guests instead of one or two. That’s what tonight’s debate has already devolved into. Now imagine that instead of candidates, we had ten knife-wielding spider monkeys jacked up on Mini Thins. That’s where I hope this thing is going.

6:27pm Hey, a guy I think maybe I recognize, in a dark blue suit and red tie, talking about the environment. Which debate are we watching, anyway?

6:28pm Ron Paul is a respectable guy, usually. But he’s looking and sounding more and more like… well, like a nutbag Big-L Libertarian. I should know, I used to be one.

But that was before he saw the virtues of domestic spying, torture, and infinite occupation of a foriegn country. He used to be Libertarian; and while that’s definitely batshitty enough, at least it represents some consistency. But the consistency part is a real downer for Bateman — how can a philosophy whose famous catchphrase is the cautionary “warfare is the health of the state” deliver the vicarious thrill that comes from news of some filthy wog getting waterboarded, vaporized, shot in the face with a howitzer? Answer: it can’t. But the Republican Party that Paul was critiquing from within offers just exactly that sort of second-hand testosterone to discriminating chairbound consumers like Bateman; plus, he gets to keep that tax cut.

So now he’s a nutsack Big-G Glibertarian, or nutbag Big-C Classical Liberal, or nutcase Big-I Independent. Or whatever it is that Republicans who insist they are not Republicans are this week.


6:46pm Little known fact: Tommy Thompson is actually made from Play-Doh.

I think he just called Thompson a pussy.


Comments: 17


Technically, Tommy needs a couple of strips of bacon to go with the mound of Play-Doh.


who the hell is Tom McCain ?


Sure glad to see you back and posting so much, HTML.

the Politico’s is so slow as to be useless…

He means “short bus” slow, right?


6:41pm Every time they cut to him, all I can see is a Yellow Pages ad that reads, “Mitt Romney – Gynecologist to the Stars!”

Game, set, match.


Tom McCain – sells shoes, right? Shoes that cause blisters long after other shoes have worn out?

Incontinentia Buttocks

…a philosophy whose famous catchphrase is the cautionary “warfare is the health of the state”…

It’s “war is the health of the state.”

And Randolph Bourne is too damn good to let the libertarians (big-L, small-l, and schmib- alike) entirely co-opt him:

Is there no place left then, for the intellectual who cannot yet crystallize, who does not dread suspense, and is not yet drugged with fatigue? The American intellectuals, in their preoccupation with reality, seem to have forgotten that the real enemy is War rather than imperial Germany. There is work to be done to prevent this war of ours from passing into popular mythology as a holy crusade. What shall we do with leaders who tell us that we go to war in moral spotlessness, or who make “democracy” synonymous with a republican form of government? There is work to be done in still shouting that all the revolutionary by-products will not justify the war, or make war anything else than the most noxious complex of all the evils that afflict men. There must be some to find no consolation whatever, and some to sneer at those who buy the cheap emotion of sacrifice. There must be some irreconcilables left who will not even accept the war with walrus tears. There must be some to call unceasingly for peace, and some to insist that the terms of settlement shall be not only liberal but democratic. There must be some intellectuals who are not willing to use the old discredited counters again and to support a peace which would leave all the old inflammable materials of armament lying about the world. There must still be opposition to any contemplated “liberal” world-order founded on military coalitions. The “irreconcilable” need not be disloyal. He need not even be “impossibilist.” His apathy towards war should take the form of a heightened energy and enthusiasm for the education, the art, the interpretation that make for life in the midst of the world of death. The intellectual who retains his animus against war will push out more boldly than ever to make his case solid against it. The old ideals crumble; new ideals must be forged. His mind will continue to roam widely and ceaselessly. The thing he will fear most is premature crystallization. If the American intellectual class rivets itself to a “liberal” philosophy that perpetuates the old errors, there will then be need for “democrats” whose task will be to divide, confuse, disturb, keep the intellectual waters constantly in motion to prevent any such ice from ever forming.


His game is weak. Tommy Thompson endured much worse as gov of Wisconsin, wherein he resembled no one as much as Governor LePetomane, down to the big GOV on his back.

The only guy who could manage to look MORE ridiculous than GWB on a Harley: (leather pants?)

The Lesser Thompson is already providing a wealth of bizarrosity and farce in a Republican field of strong contenders.


In defense of leather pants – they’re fairly efficacious against road rash.
And look pretty good on Europeans and many American women.
American men? Eh, few and far between – self included in the “far between”.


But, Leather pants on Tommy Thompson?

That’ll put you off your drink.


I wore leather pants throughout most of the eighties. Looked pretty good, too, in a kind of a “call the cops if I’m in your neighborhood” way. Lots of nice girls would date you too, just to piss off the parents.

But if you wore the same pair for a six day Tempe-Jackson Hole run, they smelled about as bad as anyting you’re ever likely to encounter…



Ross Geller pretty much ruined leather pants for an entire generation

a different brad

Mention of leather pants makes me think of Senator Tankerbell, and The Joke, The Musicial.
“I am just a simple lad, I sell leather paa-aaaa-aaaaaants. … The kindly farmer says ‘no’, but I think I’ll put my dick in these holes.”


I saw ‘Glibertarianism’ and thought yay, Giblets has joined the Sadly Nosians!

No such luck.

Herr Doktor Bimler

The trouble with leather trousers is the way they stick to the barstool.
Or so I heard.


mikey said,
May 9, 2007 at 18:21

I wore leather pants throughout most of the eighties.

awesome. a whole new image of mikey.


Mikey was it the same pair? And did you wear them for the entire decade? yuck.

Qetesh the Abyssinian

In defence of leather pants, there are really two kinds:

1) The leather pants worn by bikers to stop the cheese-grater effect on their shanks when they come off the bike;

2) The “Well you can tell by the way I wear my leather pants, I’m a disco man, and a complete tossbag” leather pants.

Entirely different animals.


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