Out Onioning The Onion
Whuh?
Ahh:
Sure, President Bush’s latest approval numbers have gurgled into the black lagoon, but he has at least one literary fop who’s willing to lend him a kind word and a crinkled nod–yes, ye olde New Journalism’s Mr. Peanut himself, Tom Wolfe. It’s difficult to reconcile with reality, but according to the thin white duke, President Bush–a.k.a., “the commander guy”–is a more sophisticated belletrist than the admiral of The New York Review of Books.
“Bush is portrayed as a moron. I’ve only conversed with him a couple of times – not for very long – but I found he was more literate on literature than the editor of the New York Review of Books, Bob Silvers. I’ve talked to both of them, and he makes Bob Silvers look like a slug.�
Wow. That Tom Wolfe, he’s even better than the real thing:
Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil’s Minor Works
WASHINGTON, DC-According to Bush, much pleasure is to be found in Virgil’s lesser-known The Eclogues and The Georgics.
Comments: 37
(comments are closed)
Frist!!
Blargh. I can’t get blockquotes within blockquotes on the front page to format right, though they seem okay when I click on the link.
Anyway, to blogwhore one of the few posts at my old dump that I’m proud of, this is related, at least at the end.
Ah, Tom Wolfe. Spent an entire four-decade career kissing the asses of the old-money wealthy and talking over his own head aboutnthe left in the US. The poor man’s Truman Capote. I believe Hunter S. Thompson once described him as “an albino pile of warts”, which is more or less accurate. Guy wrote one–count ’em–one good book, about kustom kar kulture, and managed to gluteally osculate his way into a long career thereafter.
I’m not at all surprised that he finds Li’l George literate. Compared to himself…
Now that I’ve marked my territory…
“…more literate on literature…” is like “more stupid on stupidity,” or “less competent on incompetency” or “more confused on confusion,” or, or…
Remember “I’m reading three Shakespeares”?
Will it ever end? Ever?
This actually tallies up with an old favorite time killer of mine. It’s the “For Dummies” game, otherwise known as “Monkees and Beatles”. So The Monkees were The Beatles for dummies; Tom Wolfe is Truman Capote for dummies; PJ O’Rourke used to be Hunter Thompson for dummies; Alias was La Femme Nikita for dummies.
Anyone have any other examples?
Oh yeah, is this the same George W(orst) Bush whose mommy had to help his dyslexic brain w/ flashcards? That might be apocryphal, it seems much likelier the family would’ve hired a tutor, but still…
Tom Wolfe fooled me at first, by letting Ken Kesey publish under his name.
Then I read Bonfire of the Vanities. God damn that was awful. Everything else I’ve read by him reads like some rich asshole dandy slumming in the most darling little ethic or working class trends.
*little ethnic
and yes, i mean all ethnic people are little.
Anyway, to blogwhore one of the few posts at my old dump that I’m proud of, this is related, at least at the end.
This part? “I will say a couple of nice things about Coolidge, though. For one, he had a sort of dry wit that other Republican Saints entirely lacked. I think it was Alice Roosevelt who related the following anecdote over little brown sammiches…”
Or this part- “*Edit: Cleaned up some typos and coding fuck-ups. And again more typos.”
Just curious, is there an american president you respect?
This actually tallies up with an old favorite time killer of mine. It’s the “For Dummies� game, otherwise known as “Monkees and Beatles�. So The Monkees were The Beatles for dummies; Tom Wolfe is Truman Capote for dummies; PJ O’Rourke used to be Hunter Thompson for dummies; Alias was La Femme Nikita for dummies.
Lynard Skynard blows.
I don’t trust people who wear white bow ties.
I can’t even begin to imagine how many times Bush needed to find Waldo before earning such praise.
I don’t trust people who wear white bow ties.
Indeed. Totally agree, dude. I also don’t trust people who have silly myspaceish websites. Nutters them.
is there an american president you respect?
Jefferson. Both Adamses. FDR. Madison. Washington. Lincoln. That’s it.
is there an american president you respect?
Jefferson. Both Adamses. FDR. Madison. Washington. Lincoln. That’s it.
Interesting. You live in the past. Is there a current world leader/politician/etc that you respect? Or are we just doomed?
We’re doomed.
Have a nice day!
We’re doomed.
Have a nice day!
Yeah, well, that kinda ruins any further commentary you got, eh? I mean if that’s what you believe, then who cares? Its all just goofing off waiting to die.
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. And thirdly, bitch about the lack of preview button, for that is all important whensoever you addeth the html. And Fouthith, goof on the pseudo liberal who is not unlike the writers thus of LeftBehind.”
And so did he not have the option thus to Edit: Cleaned up some typos and coding fuck-ups. And again more typos.
Fouthith thus became a word, and the word was good.
Amen
I’ll bet that snob Bob Silvers has never even fucking read My Pet Goat! Yet here Bush was, in the middle of the great national disaster of our time, literally glued to the pages. Truly, he’s the Odessyeus of our epoch.
The lesson here is the importance of Living Wills and powers-of-attorney and that sort of thing. Make your wishes known before the synapses fry. I like to think that if I ever get to Tom Wolfe’s state of senility, my loved ones will lock me away somewhere with barred windows and a supply of brightly-coloured crayons, where I can’t hurt myself, or spout shite about the profound cultural accomplishments of certain politicians.
At least Wolfe is pithier. The Onion comes up with funny concepts but then it drones on and on and on.
But…but…if Bush knows literature, how can I drink a beer with him? My faux-popularist image of him is crushed!
Larry–
Wolfe, pithier? Well, yeth, I thuppothe he ith…
Not to harsh on Wolcott or anything, but the “thin white duke” was, is and always will be David Bowie.
Don’t forget, Bush read “three Shakespeares.” That alone puts him in the pantheon of the great literate geniuses of our time.
Iraq is Vietnam for dummies.
George W. Bush is George H.W. Bush for dummies.
Sam Adams is Anchor Steam for dummies.
Triumph is Rush for dummies.
George Will is William F. Buckley for dummies.
Porn is porn for dummies.
Rush is for dummies…
Tom Wolfe is Jane Smiley for dummies.
Implicit in this argument is the unbelievable claim that Bush has read at least one book.
My husband went to see Tom Wolfe speak once, and Wolfe had a Groucho-type mask he periodically put on and removed throughout the entire lecture. At first people laughed, but as he repeated the procedure again and again the laughter dried up to uncomfortable, embarrassed silence. Apparently his grasp on reality is a teensy bit tenuous.
Constant Reader fucked up.
Leaving aside whether or not Bush actually is an avid reader, wouldn’t it be difficult for even the most voracious bibliophile to have any time to read books while acting as President of the United States?