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Is There Anything He Can’t Fcuk Up?
Oh, shit:
When you’ve just made it sound like the Queen is more than 200 years old, there may be a few ways of recovering from the gaffe.
But turning to her and giving her a sly wink is probably not included in any book of royal etiquette.
That’s what happened yesterday after George Bush mangled his greeting to the Queen on her state visit to the U.S.
Stumbling over his words, he came perilously close to suggesting that the monarch had toured the States in 1776.
And although the President’s following wink was initially rewarded with a regal glare, the Queen did at least seem to see the funny side of the blunder.
God, what a moron. But as per my last post, also in its own way evidence of his inheritance from Richard Nixon:
Gore Vidal quotes piss off all the right people, “left” and right. Here’s another:
[H]ardly anyone suspected that something funny was up when Nixon appointed Walter Annenberg as ambassador to England. Yet any student of Nixon mischief ought to have known that he would somehow manage to apple-pie the bed of Harold Wilson’s Socialist government, which had sent as ambassador to Washington (in anticipation of a Humphrey administration), one John Freeman, former New Statesman editor who had written unkindly of Nixon in 1960. That just the sort of thing Dick remembers as he surveys those crises which make up his past with an eye to fixing any wagon that ever ran over him[.]
Nothing was known of Annenberg except that he published a couple of bad newspapers in Philadelphia (no great laughing matter) and his father Mo had gone to the clink in the thirties for tax evasion… But one prison sentence does not a Nixon joke make… Could it be that Funny Dick had let us down?
Two months later when Annenberg presented his credentials to the Queen of England the world realized that Nixon had done it again. He had, very simply, launched the most brilliant clown since the late Bert Lahr….
[In the BBC telecast of the meeting] Annenberg appears at palace and forgets to remove a funny hat; footmen force him to (early Chaplin this); then he is briefed on how to begin the long march to the throne. “We start,” he is told sternly, “with our left foot.” Starting with the right foot, he approaches the Queen. With that graciousness for which she is insufficiently paid, Britannic Majesty asks if he is living at the embassy. Little does she know she is playing straight to a Nixon joke. Like many Americans who inherit money and evade school, Annenberg has not an easy way with the President’s, much less the Queen’s, English… At first startled by the difficulty of the question, Annenberg gives a great Bert Lahr Uhhh. Then, laboriously, he constructs the following answer (like all great acts, this one improves with each airing): “We’re in the embassy residence, subject, of course, to some of the discomfiture as a result of a need for, uh, elements of refurbishing and rehabilitation.” Then a perfectly timed reaction shot of the Queen looking as if a cigar has just exploded in her face. Back in Washington Dick must have been on the floor as he watched her try to maneuver her way out of that one.
Heydave said,
May 8, 2007 at 17:45
Seeing Chimpy next to the queen, and I really could not give a shit about the royal family, all I could see was THAT smirk. The one that always gets trotted out by the little boy in public, as if to say “me a big boy now!”
Arturo Toscaninny said,
May 8, 2007 at 17:52
Holy shit! I saw the footage on the news last night, and I just knew from the Queen’s expression Dim Son said something stupid and/or offensive. I just didn’t know what. The anchors, of course, pretended there was nothing amiss, but her body language couldn’t have been plainer. Gad, I cringe in embarrassment for my poor country.
Rufus said,
May 8, 2007 at 18:04
A wink? Pffft. We’re lucky he didn’t decide to give her a massage.
yank in london said,
May 8, 2007 at 18:14
Don’t forget he also extolled the virtues of the Magna Carta. You know that old document (that he’s obviously never read) that speaks very highly of habeas corpus as a God given right.
Lesley said,
May 8, 2007 at 18:14
Chip off the old blockhead. And yet this is the same guy Tom Wolfe thinks is more literate on literature than the editor of the New York Review of Books, Bob Silvers. I’ve talked to both of them, and he makes Bob Silvers look like a slug. Whatever, man.
Lesley said,
May 8, 2007 at 18:17
Timely Youtube impressions of George Bush. Gobble Gobble!
Heavy Metal Librarian » Blog Archive » Our Preznit Does Us Proud Again said,
May 8, 2007 at 18:39
[...] Yeeeee-haaaaaaa!!!! [...]
Righteous Bubba said,
May 8, 2007 at 18:39
We’re lucky he didn’t decide to give her a massage.
Sometimes I imagine a sweeter alternate reality in which Merkel calls him a vulgar monkey.
a different brad said,
May 8, 2007 at 19:03
Honestly, fuck the Queen. Chimpy is american history’s greatest monster, aside maybe from them preznidents who were running them “indian” wars, but I’m not going to pretend to have any particular respect for the barely living symbol of all that’s bad about european culture.
Jason said,
May 8, 2007 at 19:25
How do you “apple-pie” somebody’s bed. Honestly what is that
Simba B. said,
May 8, 2007 at 19:53
I would think that man has Slurpee slush in his head, not a brain.
But that’s insulting to 7-Eleven.
steve_e said,
May 8, 2007 at 20:23
Put a fork* in him. He’s done.
*red-hot, rusty, serrated pitchfork
Xenos said,
May 8, 2007 at 20:49
Oh tell me he patted her on the back, or grabbed her elbow, or threw up on her shoes… Please!
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
May 8, 2007 at 21:04
You know that old document (that he’s obviously never read) that speaks very highly of habeas corpus as a God given right.
Actually, Magna Carta does not recognize God given rights. The rights in Magna Carta are explicitly granted by King John
Don’t let the wingnuts’ obsessions with magical, sky dwelling deities confuse where civil rights come from: human societies create systems of law.
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
May 8, 2007 at 21:04
Yikes! I didn’t close that italic tag!
Righteous Bubba said,
May 8, 2007 at 21:12
human societies create systems of law.
Or not.
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
May 8, 2007 at 21:37
human societies create systems of law.
Or not.
Aye, there’s the rub.
Or, perhaps…”Where’s your God now, Moses?”
Dan Someone said,
May 8, 2007 at 21:39
I was thinking it’s like some bad 90′s comedy with Chris Farley as a drunk jackass who gets elected president and brings the world to the brink of nuclear destruction… but then I realized that in those kinds of movies, the Farley character is always sympathetic.
MzNicky said,
May 8, 2007 at 21:46
The old man and I had a wager on whether Shrubby’s inevitable “gaffe” whilst in public with the Queen of England would come in verbal or physical form. How about that! We both won. Or lost. Lost is probably it.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 8, 2007 at 22:02
Honestly, fuck the Queen.
Right, but if you want to give the queen a swirlie your own head should not end up in the toilet.
AkaDad said,
May 8, 2007 at 22:11
Is there anything he can’t f*ck up?
Sleep?
Smiling Mortician said,
May 8, 2007 at 22:16
Is there anything he can’t fcuk up?
His chances of being bailed out by family retainers when it’s all over?
MCH said,
May 8, 2007 at 22:18
Of course, this will probably play well to the dead-ender 28%. Regular beer-drinkin’ Bushie types will say that Dubya sure showed that uppity British lady who’s boss.
Boorishness sells to boors.
les said,
May 8, 2007 at 22:38
Is there anything he can’t fuck up?
An iron ball in an open field?
Sniper said,
May 8, 2007 at 22:41
Honestly, fuck the Queen.
No monarchist here, but if acted like that around my grandmother -another cranky old English woman, but not a rich one, alas – I’d be mortified. He’s such a…is uberschmuck a word?
Lawnguylander said,
May 8, 2007 at 23:59
I’m with adb, who cares about some relic of times when Divine Right was proclaimed as a basis of government (I’m so glad we don’t have anyone in power who thinks like that) so fuck the Queen. We’re running low on new granny porn though so let’s tape it.
ifthethunderdontgetya™®©³² said,
May 9, 2007 at 1:35
Bush isn’t old enough, lawnguylander. And even if he was old enough, I don’t think he’s capable of providing informed consent.
Lawnguylander said,
May 9, 2007 at 1:56
Funny you should say that ittdgy because the whole Bush presidency is Barely Legal.
lobbey said,
May 9, 2007 at 3:48
I’m with lawnguy too, go George screws up in front of the queen, I’m with George on this one (for one time only).
What is it with the Americans and the fawning nonsense in front of these drink soaked, germanic, interbred morons, you fought and won a war so as not to behave like scared children in front of them. Bring on the republic.
Steve T. said,
May 9, 2007 at 4:30
Some commenter elsewhere put it well, saying that we’re delighted that the British have a monarchy with all the wonderful theater that goes with it (oops — theatre), and equally delighted that we don’t.
Clam Chowdah said,
May 9, 2007 at 6:12
you fought and won a war so as not to behave like scared children in front of them.
Well, I get the impression that she was invited and didn’t just barge in shouting “off with their heads”. Which I would have supported.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
May 9, 2007 at 6:34
these drink soaked, germanic, interbred morons
‘Morons’ is a bit strong. Is it really a good idea to start an argument with the Brits as to who has the dumber head-of-state?
ifthethunderdontgetya™®©³² said,
May 9, 2007 at 7:15
‘Morons’ is a bit strong. Is it really a good idea to start an argument with the Brits as to who has the dumber head-of-state?
Until recently, we might have had some scoring advantage from the get go.
At this point, I don’t think we have a prayer of being taken seriously.
Which is a good thing, when you think about it. What if we did have a prayer of being taken seriously, with the brain eating vampire executive branch the AEI has purchased for us? Wouldn’t that actually be worse?
Sadly, No! » Out Onioning The Onion said,
May 9, 2007 at 7:39
[...] Whuh? [...]
Lemmy Caution said,
May 9, 2007 at 7:49
How do you “apple-pie� somebody’s bed. Honestly what is that
This side of the Atlantic, it’s more commonly called “short-sheeting”.
a different brad said,
May 9, 2007 at 9:23
Just for the record; of course you be nice to the Queen for being nearly dead.
But I wouldn’t bother with all the protocol n pomp n shite. Unlike GW, tho, I have a moderately well functioning brain and want no part of political office, so it’s ok for me to feel that way. If I ran for president I’d accept that part of the job is knowing that form demands you only use the pinky when making circular motions on her g-spot.
….
sorry, just made myself throw up in my mouth a little.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
May 9, 2007 at 11:33
Some commenter elsewhere put it well, saying that we’re delighted that the British have a monarchy with all the wonderful theater that goes with it (oops — theatre), and equally delighted that we don’t.
You don’t? Hey, you could have fooled me.
ahem said,
May 9, 2007 at 18:01
What is it with the Americans and the fawning nonsense in front of these drink soaked, germanic, interbred morons, you fought and won a war so as not to behave like scared children in front of them.
Set aside the institution of monarchy for a moment, and think of Elizabeth as someone who was involved in public life when Winston Churchill was the British prime minister and Harry S. Truman was US president. There are really not too many people with that kind of perspective on Anglo-American relations.
Sniper said,
May 9, 2007 at 18:22
You don’t? Hey, you could have fooled me.
Why is it assumed that anyone surnamed Bush or Kennedy will run for office? Dynasties are definitely undemocratic but that doesn’t stop Americans from falling in love with them.
As for Bush being an ass in front of the queen – diplomacy is right there in the job description.
Larry said,
May 10, 2007 at 2:20
Watch the video but ignore the news summary — seems pretty obvious to me that Bush staged the whole thing. He made his “gaffe” then stopped and looked over at her, but note what happens then ….
Bush’s “comeback” quip was so obviously scripted. Shows how artificial his whole admin is, and what passes for humor on the Right.
Seriously, watch the clip carefully and you’ll see it was set up.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 10, 2007 at 2:23
Seriously, watch the clip carefully and you’ll see it was set up.
You’re trying to tell me he succeeded at something?
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