Teh Final Five Revealed!!!

No, not the final five Cylons, you silly dorkwads! I’m talkin’ ’bout the five finalists in the Glenn Reynolds Roboshop Challenge! And here they are:

Finalist #1:

Finalist #2:

Finalist #3:

Finalist #4:

Finalist #5:

Also, I’m including this one as Finalist #6, because I posted it later than the others and it came very, very close to making the final cut:

There they are! Please vote for your favorite! Scott C. says he’ll send the winner a free copy of Better Living Through Bad Movies, the hilarious book he wrote with the lovely and talented S.Z. Also, I’ll send you a big bottle of Stone Ruination IPA, if I can figure out how to get individual bottles of beer shipped to your address…

At any rate, thanks to all who participated! You did brilliant work!

 

Comments: 153

 
 
 

Gotta go with #1 again.

 
 

March Madness, baby! The final five!

I’m sorry to see the E.L.O. entry didn’t make the cut, but oh well. It had a good run.

I vote Finalist #3.

 
 

Yeah, all are great, but #1 just does it for me.

 
 

Number 4…………….without a doubt in my mind

 
 

#2 by a mile. The lightsaber, the wedding photo, it’s just perfection.

 
 

Oh, all so good, so good. Still: #1, indeed.

 
 

I can’t choose! There are two entries that so perfect, so sublime that I can’t decide which one I like best!

Argh! Which humiliates the GlennBot more, the Jedopolis wedding, or the Fembot Reynolds?

 
The Devil's Advocate
 

Bender’s ‘shiny metal ass buddy’ for teh win!

 
 

Kara Thrace lives!!1!!!eleventy!!

Seanly’s theory: Kara is one of the 5 but she’s also still 100% human. But she’s a Cylon too!!1!! Then she goes to the Lost Island & kills all those annoying Others.

Anywhooo… I gotta stick with Instaroboglenn getting homo-married to Jonah.

btw, has anyone thought of the implications of being a robot? Wouldn’t it be boring? No need to sleep or eat or go hiking or lose weight or see a movie or philosophize. I always thought that if we were replaced by robots they’d just sit around all day. Well, maybe they’d farm gold in World of Warcraft…

 
 

I’ll vote for #1 and #2, in that order. #2 is great because they both look so happy, so in love, but #1 wins for its multi-layered concept and flawless execution. Total brilliance.

 
 

I vote for Finalist #2, with extra points for its extremely dishonorable reference to some photo apparently someone shot at somebody’s wedding.

 
 

Well since ya got 6 I’m gonna vote twice.

#1
and
#3

 
 

#1 get throws in extra wingnuttery flavor(Malkin Hand! Malkin Hand!), plus a Destroyed, er Damaged, mosque to boot.

 
not the senator
 

# 5

Bender on a binge.

 
 

I can’t decide between #1 and #6. Fortunately, there aren’t a lot of consequences for failing to decide.

 
 

Hmmm…finalist….number…2.
Metropolis.
But it’s not an easy choice.

Thanks again to those who liked my first round entry. Enjoyed creating and submitting it.

 
 

Nader fucked me. RECOUNT!!!!

#3, but its a tough call.

 
 

# 6 is sublime.

 
 

I gotta stick with #2.

C’mon, folks! It’s spring time (almost)! Love is in the air!

 
 

(I “Submitted Comment” and was told my “search” generated “no results.” WTF?)

Again: hard as it is to vote against something captioned “A THOUSAND YEARS LATER,” I have to go with no. 2. Not only are they “so in love,” but it’s in v. artistic b&w.

 
General Woundwort
 

#1. Pam holding the sword(?) with her teeth and the corndog crotch, now that is true art.

 
 

Number 1, definately. It fit’s Glenn-sanity just too well. I honestly believe he sits around and watches horrible Japanese action robot cartoons all day long.

 
 

Number 1!

 
 

Okay, I gotta vote for #1, just because I wonder what it looks like in the ‘transformed’ mode.

 
 

Always a little soft spot for #6

A stereotypical gaze of big-headed wingnut smugness on top of a tiny tiny man oblivious to his stupidity.

 
 

Hmmm 1 or 4…

I pick #4

 
 

They’re all brilliant. I really want to vote for #4, but if I can only choose one, it’s #1.

 
 

Voltron baby! VOLTRON!1!!1!

 
 

6, because it’s true.

 
 

The fact is, # 6 is the most liberal and therefore, the most likely to win your stupid little contest.

You liberals can violate the privacy of patriotic conservative bloggers by photoshopping their patriotic conservative heads onto sexy she-bots and buff jedis, and you can make them get all married and stuff. But just let Ann Coulter innocently and playfully call John Edwards a “faggot” and you go all ballistic over a harmless schoolyard taunt.

Hypocrites.

 
 

The fact is, I meant #2.

I hate you all.

 
 

# 6 is compositionally and thematically the most elegant. It is also the least embarassingly puerile.

 
 

Using the Instant Runoff System (since someone mentioned Nader):

1. Picture #1
2. Picture #6
3. Picture #5

 
 

Wait, we don’t want the most puerile one? But we’re uncouth liberals!

 
 

#1. It’s genius.

 
 

I vote for #1.

Is that the Corporal CornDog Codpiece I see?

 
 

If I choose not to decide, I still have made a ch

OW OW OW OW OW

ok already, #1

 
 

I love them all, but I’ve got to go with # 2.

 
 

Three all the way, baby!

 
 

Fem-bot

I’m thinking a Conservative like Reynolds would be bothered more by portraying him as a girly-bot.

 
 

#1 corndog codpiece is in da hizzy!

 
 

gotsta say #1

 
Incontinentia Buttocks
 

#2!!!!onehundredandthirteenminustwo!!!

 
 

#1, without a doubt.

 
 

They are all great, and all must have prizes!

Failing that, however, I would pick #2, which made me ‘heh’ the most.

 
 

pick up sticks!

#6!!!

 
 

#666

 
the dryyyyyyy cracker
 

#1 needs to win on the strength of Pam’s lower jaw alone. A lesser PSer wouldn’t have worked that detail in.

That said, if this ends up being a Voltron landslide, can I give my vote to #3, just as a sign of appreciation? I live in a safe state so this is how my thought process always works on election day.

 
 

#4

 
 

My heart wants to say Nr. 2, but my positronic cyborg brain must vote for Nr. 1.

 
 

definitly number 1

 
 

1 and 6 should share top honors in a love-festian way.

 
 

Number 2 is teh shit.

Truth be told, I love ’em all, just as I love all of my children – hell, all of God’s children equally alike and exactly teh same.

One of these days when I have more time (heh, indeed) I’ll write up what I love about each single entry. Every picture tells a story, donut?

Looking forward to doing this again with another wingnut and theme. I hope it’ll become a regular feature.

 
Herr Doktor Bimler
 

#5 for me. Simple, elegant, and a consistent light source.
In #1 the lighting is all over the place… it only fooled me for a couple of seconds.

 
 

I vote #2, because it’s most likely to cause Taky to swear eternal death and revenge on us all.

 
Raggedy Annanalthouse
 

#2

 
 

As much as i love entry #1, i gotta go with #3.

 
 

There’s just something masterful about #6.

 
 

#2 is my vote. (But 6 is awesome too)

 
 

Definitely gotta go with 2

 
 

There’s just something masterful about #6.

It’s a nice little representation of how replaceable Glennbot 1.0 really is. None of the other entries, mine included, deal with what the guy actually does.

 
formerly Pabst Blue Ribbon
 

#6

 
Smiling Mortician
 

#3.

And of course, now I figure out I should have done something involving Buzz Lightyear . . .

 
 

#3

But was it a dream… or a prophesy?.

 
 

Numbah Foah!

The facial expression on the Fem-Glenn-Bot is priceless.

 
 

#6 is the one for me. Well, except for #3.

 
 

#1

 
 

I should vote for 3 being a comic geek but something about #4 gets my vote

 
 

This X-men fabn still votes #1. Obey the corndog.

 
 

Gotta go with #8.

Not that all the others aren’t great, but that one can just kiss my shiny metal ass.

 
 

Some crazy socialists aren’t content with six of something, they want an extra TWO MORE to distribute to their caddy-driving welfare queens.

 
 

All great. No. 5 is the funniest. No. 6 is aesthetically brilliant—the disjointed letters on the blocks and the fact that the head faces backward are strokes of genius. But for sheer looney wingnut madness, from the Virgin BenFoot to the Hindrocket Corndog Codpiece, I have to vote for #1.

 
 

#2 is da bomb

 
 

Glenn says:

Form feet and legs!
Form arms and body!
Form Corndog codpiece!
And I’ll form…the Head!

#1 for you non-dorks out there.

 
 

# 6, please.

Thank you.

 
 

They’re all excellent, but I’ll go with #3. It’s puerility soothes my infantile soul.

 
 

#2 gets me like a stab in the back. You know that has to be the winner, so Tacky has ANOTHER wedding photo to go ape over.

 
 

I voted for #2 before, and I’m doing it again.

But I have to admit #1 is pretty awesome…corndog, cut or uncut?

Heck, they’re all awesome. This should be a regular Sadly, No! feature!111!

 
 

While I admit, making fun of Tacky is pretty damn fun I gotta go with #5 for it’s minimalist sensibilities and uncluttered simple cleanliness.

Or it’s just so damn funny.

 
 

Bite my shiny metal ass Instacracker. #5 it is!

 
 

#1 for me. It captures the essence of wingnuttia.

 
 

Number 2 for the same reason Karl Rove II gave.

Let teh games begin.

On an unrelated note, thanks to this blog I find myself constantly saying ‘teh’ instead of ‘the’. I can’t stop. I may have to get some kind of therapy. Today at work I said, “I’ll get to teh fuckin’ compliance testing when I’m good ‘n goddamned ready!” Well, I didn’t really say it out loud, but I said it in my head…

 
 

That’s teh funny, Candy. Now just wait until you start sending emails that end!!11squarerootofonehundredfortyfourminusone!!

 
 

Aieeeeee!!!!!!!! That’s not funny, ittdgy! Why, just the other day, I caught myself typing ‘Heh’ in a personal email.

What’s happening to me??????????

 
 

#2

 
 

All great! But #1 and #2 are both sharing a narrative. And though #1 gets my !!11! on teh puerile, the metaphor of “The Alchemical Marriage of Robot and Golem” still just slays me.

#2

 
the dryyyyyyy cracker
 

Teh indeed, Candy. Teh indeed.

 
 

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

mikey

 
 

My mother? I’ll tell you about my mother….

 
 

It was very hard to decide, but I’m voting for #3.

And there’s nothing juvenile about it!

“The thing about comics, the reason they sell, is that they’re somewhat realistic,” said a brown-haired guy on Fox News.
http://www.elegantmess.net/snap/2007/03/09/comic-justice/

 
 

Brilliant entries all, but #1 is tops.

 
a different brad
 

3, tho 1 is hard to go against.

 
Famous Soviet Athlete
 

5

 
 

Is there a reason that 1/3 of the finalists in your contest just happen to involve cross-dressing and/or homosexual undertones? I thought making fun of homosexuality was like, anti-liberal? Or is it ok to make fun of people by making them look like homosexuals if you are a liberal and are totally down with teh gay and are actually saying how much you support these people by making them look gay?

It boggles the mind.

 
 

Hey, Shoe, I mistakenly thought that there was a day in your honor, having heard that 3/14 is pie day…. alas, it turns out the day is in honor of pi, which I would like to explain for the benefit of the home schooled, but I must to bed, as I’m being worked to death by my corporate overlords….

No rest for teh hell bound.

 
 

Good luck Candy. I’ll be doing the same.

 
 

#1 ‘cuz all my favorites are there. Wheee!!!

 
 

Good luck to you too, ittdgy.

I’ll need luck, as my job isn’t passing the Alice(TM)* test these days, when you start asking yourself the question: “How bad would it be if I had to live under a bridge?”

Good night.

*alice of Dilbert fame

 
 

Number 6. To me it not only mocks Reynolds, it neatly exposes his whole schtick for the childish con game it is.

Heh indeedy.

 
 

I like 6 … the photoshop finalist, not Tricia Helfer’s character. But I like her, too.

 
 

Number 3

 
 

Numero uno. Especially in Spanish.

 
 

Six!

 
a different brad
 

I wonder if I could change the script to “i like fingering myself in the ass!”
Thing is, i’m not a big fan of most kinds of pie, but I’m sick of constant requests for assistance in vocabulary building.

 
a different brad
 

And, yes, obviously, I just revealed myself as the one who’s actually anally fixated, to beat the piepushers to the punch.

 
the poster formerly known as
 

Manipulating fotos for fun and profit (if by profit one means ‘a copy of an old book and a bottle of beer’) is all well and good, but you know that Freedom of Speech at its worst will be exploited by those who HATE our country?

Go ahead, click the link, scroll down past the pictures of your heroes Hanoi jane ( name left uncapitalized on purpose) and Sean Penn. Is that you? Why does your ilk hate America?

These colours don’t run, bitches.

I see, call my comment spam. You ilk can’t handle the truth.

 
 

PFKA: Heh. I wonder if they actually know who’s depicted in that photo, and what that individual’s politics actually are.

 
the poster formerly known as
 

Manipulating fotos for fun and profit (if by profit one means ‘a copy of an old book and a bottle of beer’) is all well and good, but you know that Freedom of Speech at its worst will be exploited by those who HATE our country?

http://www.theamericafirstfoundation.org/id21.html

Go ahead, read the link, scroll down past the pictures of your heroes Hanoi jane ( name left uncapitalized on purpose) and Sean Penn. Is that you? Why does your ilk hate America?

These colours don’t run, bitches.

I see, call my comment spam. You ilk can’t handle the truth.

(Note to self, lets not just assume they are censoring posts from Japan because the ilk fear the rising tide of Japanese nationalism, lets try it one more time without the link, cuz you know, it could jut be they have trouble getting a WordPress plugin working)

Oh look, it did post that last one. Maybe i shouldn’t hit ‘submit’…

 
 

I have nothing against the slathering of Eggos.

 
the poster formerly known as
 

Djur said,

PFKA: Heh. I wonder if they actually know who’s depicted in that photo, and what that individual’s politics actually are.

What are you trying to say here, Ilk? Are you suggesting that The America First Foundation is stupid and not knowingly manipulating the stupid? Cuz that would imply that you hate our troops. I’m willing to cut you some slack, because of your intelligent use of ‘heh’, but you know you shouldn’t end a sentence with ‘are’? Its just improper english.

 
 

I;d like to see a marriage between the #1 multi-headed-strategically-placed-corndog robot and the bridebot Mark in #2.

 
 

I am not Number 6! I am a free man!

 
 

a futuristic wingnut american gothic couple

 
 

#6

 
 

I think entry #26 deserved to be one of the final candidates.

 
the poster formerly known as
 

Righteous Bubba said

I have nothing against the slathering of Eggos.

Nobody likes a smartass, smartass.

 
 


A slathering of Eggos
appeared above my head.
They harangued me with a tired trope
and this is what they said.
They said…

 
 

#6

 
 

I thought the sentinels one was good, but #6 is the best of the bunch.

 
the poster formerly known as
 

Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
March 13, 2007 at 4:32

Is there a reason that 1/3 of the finalists in your contest just happen to involve cross-dressing and/or homosexual undertones? I thought making fun of homosexuality was like, anti-liberal? Or is it ok to make fun of people by making them look like homosexuals if you are a liberal and are totally down with teh gay and are actually saying how much you support these people by making them look gay?

It boggles the mind.

Dude, you need to sort your hair, And your clothes… oh mygod, we need to go shopping.

 
the poster formerly
 

kingubu said,
March 13, 2007 at 8:50

A slathering of Eggos
appeared above my head.
They harangued me with a tired trope
and this is what they said.
They said…

Would be funnier if you’d used –
They meringued me with a tired trope
Still needs work, but hth.

 
the poster formerly
 

the poster formerly known as said,
March 13, 2007 at 9:55

Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
March 13, 2007 at 4:32

Is there a reason that 1/3 of the finalists in your contest just happen to involve cross-dressing and/or homosexual undertones? I thought making fun of homosexuality was like, anti-liberal? Or is it ok to make fun of people by making them look like homosexuals if you are a liberal and are totally down with teh gay and are actually saying how much you support these people by making them look gay?

It boggles the mind.

Dude, you need to sort your hair, And your clothes… oh mygod, we need to go shopping.

That was kinda harsh and i apologize. Liberals are always conflicted, They can’t make fun of fatties, cuz , well many of them are obese, they can’t goof on the negroes cuz they are scary, The Jews have a good sense of humour and are willing to poke fun at themselves but liberals fear the ‘anti-semite’ label. Which leaves the queers. They are solidly in the liberal back pocket, they goof on themselves constantly, hey even a solid american like you probably enjoys a WIll and Grace rerun now and then, eh? How about that QueerEye show? If you are anything like me you found the whole concept disgusting, but, learned something about interior design, Who even knew what a ‘sconce’ was? Now I’m basking in the sexy diffused light of antique wall sconces and let me tell you, the chicks go mushy for it. And tea cozies? Nothing drops a chicks panties like serving tea in a hand-crocheted cozy.

 
 

I vote #3

 
 

Number Two, because those shite-eating grins are so perfect, as is the ordinal placement once you’ve flashed on the “shite-eating grins”.

 
 

We get the most surreal trolls ever around here.

Yet another reason why S,N! is the best.

 
 

You make some compelling arguments, the poster formerly known, but it would appear you have yet to address the most compelling issue currently facing us: How are you voting in the photoshop contest?

 
 

Strike second compelling, replace with pressing.

 
 

J— said,
March 13, 2007 at 16:01

Strike second compelling, replace with pressing.

Look, I don’t know what kindof kinky shit you are into (nttawwt), but I’m not interested.
Unless you are Selma Hayek. Are you Selma Hayek?

 
 

“Who’s Number 1?”

“You are, Number 6.”

 
 

Easily #4, ‘cos it’s just so wrong.

 
 

I don’t think PFKA knows what the word “ilk” means.

Also, you have a photo showing hateful banners by the Phelp’s inbreds. They’re big time conservatives who so love America that they hate all the people in it.

Ahh, I said more, but just wasting my time on an idiot troll.

 
 

Let the Eggo soar
Out the Toast-R-Oven door
Straight to my plate, not on the floor
Let the mighty Eggo soar

 
 

Are you Selma Hayek?

Not on the internet.

 
a former poster
 

J— said,
March 13, 2007 at 17:28

Are you Selma Hayek?

Not on the internet.

Sigh. That Seanly seems nice.

 
 

Number one. It says so much.

 
 

Finalist 1. So fucking classic…

 
 

#1!

“And I’ll form the nutsack!”

GoLion!

 
 

I’m going with #2, because it is the only B&W and thus at a disadvantage. That’s what I told myself, anyway, to justify voting for teh funny. #1 really *deserves* to win because, you know, it *really* says it all about the warbots.

P.S. I’m new here. What, no preview button? Scandalous!

 
 

My understanding is that the Preview button has started going out with boys, and is just at one of those awkward stages.o

 
 

[…] day late and dollar short maybe when it comes to the Sadly No! sponsored Glenn Reynolds photoshop contest, but I’m back in […]

 
 

[…] Check out the photoshop contest at Sadly, No! […]

 
 

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