Don’t Let It Go To Your Head, Ace

It’s Not Just T-Bogg: It’s Most of the Lefty Blogs
—Ace

Just checking my trackbacks SiteMeter referrals, I’m finding, to my surprise, that the lefty blogs I assumed all this time were covering the news are not, in fact, covering the news.

They are, by and large, and to the near-exclusion of all else, covering right-leaning blogs covering the news.

Why?

just-a-poser.jpg
Above: Retardo Montalban in a context clarified below

First of all, no, it isn’t most of the lefty blogs at all. It’s only a small, ironic subset of lefty blogs that link to Ace and his cohort — a similarly small, occasionally ironic or clever subset of right-wingers with good writing skills and medium-large traffic. The rest just bulldoze straight through, seeking larger truffles.

But okay, fair enough. Ace, we’re, like, reluctant to let a trade secret reach our competition, but I think I’d speak for all of us if I were to say that the WingNet is the most reliable news apparatus on the planet. I’ll demonstrate.

The following is a Little Green Footballs post from 3:33PM, EST. It is in no way unrepresentative of such posts:

Breaking: Suspicious Package at Port of Miami

More action at the Port of Miami: Bomb Squad Investigates Suspicious Material at Port of Miami.

MIAMI — A suspicious device was found Monday at the Port of Miami, according to officials.

A bomb squad was on the scene; officers were seen donning explosive suits.

A spokesman for the Miami-Dade Police said the bomb squad has located some sort of instrument that tested positive for C-4 — a type of plastic explosive, reported local FOX affiliate WSVN-TV.

Miami-Dade Police were gathered near Cruise Terminal H of the port, where Royal Caribbean’s Majesty of the Seas cruise ship is docked. The ship and it’s 2,356 guests and 812-member crew is scheduled to leave Monday night for five days.

WSVN is also reporting that flight restrictions have been placed over Port of Miami.

UPDATE at 1/8/07 12:37:40 pm:

Fox just reported that it was another false alarm…

UPDATE at 1/8/07 12:42:28 pm:

But maybe not; latest reports say the suspicious package tested positive for C4 plastic explosive six times.

UPDATE at 1/8/07 1:09:03 pm:

Authorities have now announced it was definitely a false positive result for explosives; the package apparently contained “sprinkler parts.�

Now, I don’t want to blow the game here, but our collective method includes the interpolation of words such as ‘isn’t’ and ‘not’ among initial statements of fact, and the exclamation ‘hooray!’ and the sound-effect ‘fap-fap-fap!‘ among suggestions that Teh Global Jewish Mexlamocommiefascist Conspiracy might blow something up 9/11-style, thus propelling a reluctant and patient America into a regrettably necessary rage of justice against the cowards and traitors who treacherously sap its strength from within (= us and TBogg, etc).

The result is like this:

Breaking: [Hooray!] Suspicious Package at Port of Miami [Fap-fap-fap!]

[No] more action at the Port of Miami: Bomb Squad Investigates [non-]Suspicious Material at Port of Miami.

‘Sprinkler parts.’ It never gets old!

Plus, somewhere out there, an objective and literal fascist is typing, “Sprinkler parts? So the MSM expects us to believe that it’s ‘only a shower?!1′”

I mean, you can’t make it up. We couldn’t invent this bounteous narrative if we tried. It’s like Saturday morning cartoons on Christmas with a birthday cake and winning the big football pool, every damn frickin’ day. A shamefulness of riches. We love it, oh how we love it too much.

Back to you, Ace:

Well, either we’re now all Media Super Stars who need to be kept in check, or they’re basically trivial-minded people who are quite comfortable within the tiny boxes of inconsequence they’ve built for themselves, or they really don’t buy this “right wing media” bullshit they all spew from time to time, and see attacking the dextrosphere as the best way to support their MSM allies.

Or a bit of all three.

As far as the first goes — thanks, guys. I’m flattered. I’d like to say something nasty about you, but I

…am too embarrassed. Oh wait, hold on:

try not to write about lowly bloggers too much — my time is too valuable for that, and my readers could give a rat’s ass what “Retardo Montalban” might think about Dan Riehl — and I’m just delighted to be held in such high regard.

Ace nails it down with a YouTube of Prince doing ‘Baby I’m A Star.’

See, that’s the whole thing. Take it away, ‘Tardo!

 

Comments: 163

 
 
 

And it’s just too much fun for us to stop even THINK about stopping.

 
 

A bomb squad was on the scene; officers were seen donning explosive suits.

Explosive suits? OMG, teh FBI are now using suicide bombers in their investigations? The terrorists are finished….

mikey

 
 

Better the FBI wear them than Ann Althaus file one against Sadly, No! mikey. Hmm, I wonder if Ann could actually file a suit (in court, I mean).

 
 

That shirt is HORRIBLE. It’s just………….ugh.

 
 

I’m not even going to mention the pants.

 
 

Man, those shirts were Teh Shit about 24 years ago. Having a cheap-ass parent I never got one… sniff sniff

 
 

I am trying to fill a gap in the coverage given to mindless wingnuttery. Here in the Antelope Valley (north Los Angeles County), we have a newspaper that really seems to be filling the gap for conservatives who are curious about what to think but don’t have full-time access to Fox News or Rush on the radio. And some of their local Antelope Valley nutcases never make it to the Internet!

Feeling that we must not be deprived, I provided commentary on a recent column about how “the propaganda of the left” is using something called Edspeak to impose “Soviet-style ‘re-education'” on America’s schoolchildren. This column appeared in the Antelope Valley Press on January 7, 2007.

 
 

LEMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!11ELEVEN!

 
 

I suspect that Sadly, No’s tradesecret is pie.

 
 

Ya know, maybe it was actually Ace fouling tbogg’s comments section the other day. I figured it was one of those whiny concern trolls, the ones that usually bitch about whichever blogger not spending enough time on biodiesels. Now, it’s how much time whichever liberal blogger wastes making fun of wingnuts like Ace or Patterico or Althouse.

The thing that gets me, though, is that in this shame-shaming Ace is doing towards Sadly, No and tbogg fails to acknowledge that all this time is spent making fun of those guys for not only holding reprehensible positions on the important matters of the day and not only for doing so in a totally incompetent manner., but coming off like total petulent jackasses when they get called on it. This past week has been ugly for them, and I keep thinking of a response one of Atrios’ regular trolls got from…someone, I forget who: “He’s stupid, ugly and nobody likes him.”

And they take themselves so seriously. It’s astounding to me to see the high dudgeon Althouse can work herself into or the straight face your warmonger fools use when they talk about how they are personally fighting the WOT. Or the “keeping the MSM in check” claim or the whole “liberals are mean/uncivil to us nice, polite conservatives” to-do, which should be fucking re-goddamn-diculous to anyone who was politically aware in the ’90s.

I used to take ’em all fairly seriously, apart from the real nutcases like that Misha character or Atlas Pam. Tacticus, Malkin, Captain Ed, Instapundit…used to read ’em fairly regularly, just so’s I’d know what the other side of the political spectrum was thinking about things. Not as enemies, but as the neccessary yin to the progressive yang.

Now, I honestly can’t think of a conservative commentator or pundit or blogger that comments exclusively (or at least predominately) on politics and culture that’s worth reading. I’m not trying to be an asshole about it, either, I just can’t think of one who hasn’t either compared me, as someone with progressive liberal politics, as the moral equivalent of a represive, fundamentalist regime that uses mass murder and terror as a weapon. To me, that’s not someone worth my attention, except to mock.

So, yeah…the reason they spend so much time making fun of you, Ace (and the rest), is that you give them so, so many reasons to do so. Might be time to take a step back, do a little self-introspection, and maybe re-think your stragety. You don’t have to change your politics, mind, but you might want to try make it so you’re not as damaging to your cause as you are now.

And in other news, Lemmy roolz! He roolz!

 
 

It probably doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that millions of these folks, admittedly inconsequential separately, can fuck the entire nation when they vote for an idiot with father issues. No, we must just be pickin’ on ’em ’cause, of all the websites out there, we hate their graphic design the most.

Can’t possibly be because their votes made possible a war that has killed God-alone-knows-how-many people, with more still to come. Can’t be because the president they continue to support has made us less safe from terrorism. Can’t be because they put in power a man who is hell bent on stripping away our Constitutional rights. Can’t possibly be because they still don’t believe they’re wrong supporting about any of this, and because they’re capable of, as a collection of link daisy chains, disseminating lies, rewriting history, and floating ideas so vicious that any extreme position just short of them seems rational.

Must just be we’re big ol’ meanyheads.

 
 

Or, without the sarcasm, just as Matt T. said.

 
 

it is funny how ace got the bug up his ass right around the time he had to retract a post that said tbogg wanted malkin to die in iraq. It is the usual, “i made a mistake, but look at that ass over there!”
And he was most likely the first to post over at tbogg’s complaining about it, though he did it under another name. Isn’t that a sin. Someone find p@tterico to check it out.

 
 

Funny thing about bone-headed people: They’re incapable of comprehending their bone-headedness.

 
 

You know, head is a synonym for toilet.

P.S. Don Casey said seacock. Heh heh.

What?

 
 

Y’know those Jack Chick comics? You know, the ones where some babbling loon out of touch with reality tries to illustrate giant demonic conspiracies consisting of Hollywood actors, atheist professors and brown people? I love those.

 
 

Re: Port of Miami. Here I thought you, in mentioning the Port of Miami, were about to point out how many times the phrase Port Of Miami was repeated in the story about the Port of Miami, in which bugger all actually happened at the Port of Miami.

 
 

So what’s the line on how many posts he’ll do about lefty blogs and how inane they are for posting about righty blogs? And come on, according to them we’ve got traditional media entirely in our corner, why would we have to go to blogs for our slanted information? No, we can go for poop jokes, as God intended.

 
 

How long have we been feuding with Ace now? And he still doesn’t get that making fun of z-list, fringe, batshit-crazy wingnuts is Sadly, No!s raison d’etre? Not very quick on the uptake, these guys, are they?

 
 

I think he’s suffering from logo envy. He knows a real cool all fixed-up logo is his for the taking but he’s afraid it’ll make him look weak. Why? Umm, ’cause it would make him look weak…

mikey

 
 

They are not the smartest Random, I still get right-wingers popping up at my humble site asking why there is so much about Christopher Hitchens on it…

 
 

Porgy,
I don’t believe that, not in all cases. I’ve held some fairly bone-headed positions in my life but, upon proven irrevocably wrong or merely coming to that realization myself that I was acting and/or thinking in a jackass manner, I’ve come around to a different and, usually, better way of thinking. I’ve seen it happen to other people, stunningly ignorant people, people who eventually went “Oh, wait…my bad.” And life moved on.

That being said, if the past weekend’s hilarity has shown anything, it’s that certain segment of wingnuttia don’t have possesion of that sort of self-awareness. I don’t know if it’s solely their fault, though, as we are a culture that does not like to say “I’m sorry” and are always looking for a way to lessen our screw-ups by spreading the blame around (i.e., the inevatible “stab in the back” with regards to Iraq). It’s not a good quality but it is part of the American psyche, I think, that to apologize is to look weak, and we can’t look weak.

 
 

Dear Ace,

Why are lefty blogs “obsessed” with you? It’s not hard, but here’s a hint:

We’re not laughing with you…

 
 

OK, here’s what I think Ace is really saying here, ‘You lefty bloggers keep pointing it out every time (daily) we say something egregiously stupid and wrong! And then, people start realizing that, like the criminal and incompetent government we still cheerlead for, we’ve been lying our asses off for years.’

Shorter Ace: ‘Stop it! It’s working!’

Plus, what sammy said.

Ace, you’re a putz. A joke. A public idiot. A serial liar. A tool.

And you are so unfunny, you make The Baby Jesme cry.

You should just stop now.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Matt T., I suspect you and Porgy don’t really disagree. It’s about the definition of bone-headed. Anyone who’s capable of eventually saying “Oh. Um, my bad” is probably just ill-informed, not bone-headed.

But more importantly: is Retardo really a left-handed bass player?

 
 

That being said, if the past weekend’s hilarity has shown anything, it’s that certain segment of wingnuttia don’t have possesion of that sort of self-awareness. I don’t know if it’s solely their fault, though, as we are a culture that does not like to say “I’m sorry�

One other thing to consider. It has always been successful Rovian politics to reduce every issue to black/white, up/down, with us/against us. The pundits of Right Blogistan have spent years steeped in a 1 bit binary world where everything was either right or wrong, good or evil. The real world being, well, the way we know the real world to be, anybody staking out a position starting with that worldview is going to be wrong, deeply and consistently. And it IS their fault that they have lost the ability to recognize nuance, the shades of grey that inform the world of reality….

mikey

 
 

Righteous Bubba: Chick is online, you know.

 
 

Sonic, that’s hilarious!

 
 

OT (or actually, not), but for the MST fans in the hizzouse, that Motorhead song was used as background music in the Adam West-starring Canadian stinkfest, Zombie Nightmare (episode 604).

“‘Allo Montreal! Rock ‘n’ roll!”

 
 

‘If I had ten divisions of Lemmy Kilminster our troubles here would be over very quickly’

 
 

“Canadian stinkfest, Zombie Nightmare (episode 604).”

Yeah, that was a good episode. I watch MST3K almost everyday, so I have to acknowledge all MST references.

 
 

Not me — I can’t stand even accidentally running across one of those tar pits of right wing pablum. There’s no WAY I’d link to them by choice unless it were absolutely necessary — let alone waste my time, energy and imagination composing any but the most dismissive and concise snippets of prose.

Besmirching my beautiful liberal blogging community with links and quotes from the christofascist neocon zombie brigade would be akin to getting a tattoo of Mallard Fillmore on my ass: not so much gilding the lily as dipping it in fresh guano.

 
 

Maybe you all would rather no one even told you that ANYTHING was happening at the Port of Miami????

You should be thankful to live in a country where the news is allowed to make the news, and you shold be thankful that it was nothing terrorist related.

I guess you think nothing should have been check out and that nothing should have been reported.

Idiots.

 
Innocent Bystander
 

Well, you know Ace is reading this comment section and is none to happy with the responses.

Ace, why are you commenting on blogs that comment about other blogs? Didn’t you have a big problem with that over on TBogg? That would make you…big surprise…. a lyin’ hypocrite.

Personally, I don’t know why the Aceswick would call attention to blogs that focus on Teh Stupid. He seems to forget who is creating the fertile ground from which such a bountiful harvest of idiocy is reaped. Or maybe he’s trying to puff up that hit counter that’s dropping faster than number of honest Republicans remaining in the Congress.

 
 

Ace asked this question eleventy billion times in a TBogg comment thread and he COMPLETELY IGNORED the answers. I can only conclude that Ace is blind as a bat and/or is suffering from an advanced case of Alzheimers. (Like a person devoid of memory, he repeats whatever question he happens to be fixated on in the moment. The answer is, for him, irrelevant.)

The only thing to do is throttle him and put him out of his misery.

 
 

They are not the smartest Random, I still get right-wingers popping up at my humble site asking why there is so much about Christopher Hitchens on it…

Damn. I moused over your name to get the name of your blog and laughed so loud I nearly spilt my tea.

Oh, and Annie dear – do you really think you should be chatting on the net? Shouldn’t you be doing more squats?

Keep work the buns, honeychops – after all, you ARE a professional!

 
 

Why? Two words: highway accident.

 
 

How long have we been feuding with Ace now?
We have always been at war with Ace of Spades.

 
 

You know what else is true about lefty blogs? The commenters are dumb as shit.

They never say anything funny or intelligent. Leftwing comment threads are painful to read. We have some retards, but the left is beyond hope.

Find a non-blog reading, non-political person, then send them around the blogosphere. They’ll verify my findings. Liberals are dumb.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez on January 8, 2007 04:58 PM

Damn, adolfo doesn’t like poop jokes?

 
 

A shamefulness of riches. We love it, oh how we love it too much.

I think, when discussing the Reichtwing blogs, the proper collective noun would be “a shamelessness of riches”. Ace and his Ilk (or should that be “Ace and his Irk”?) have less concept of shame than our household’s Maine Coon cat. The Demon Kishkan has at least internalized the concept that when she’s committed a particularly egregious violation against decency — such as beating up the tiny, elderly, retired-chorus-girl dog (half DK’s size & twice her age) for no better reason than DK being bored on a rainy day — she should get the heck out of range before the humans show up to find out what all the screaming is about. Ace can’t even reason that far ahead of his sins against sanity. Or else he likes being abused in print, even if he doesn’t quite have the vocabulary to understand what we’re calling him. Either way — Shamelessness!

 
 

my time is too valuable for that

Says the guy who posted a few hundred comments at Tbogg’s site the other day. Sure, buddy.

 
 

okay, so i just went over to Hotair and they have a story about Somalia. http://hotair.com/archives/2007/01/08/us-gunship-attacks-al-qaeda-in-somalia/#comments

They cite a CBSnews link for the story – then there are 3 posts about “where is the MSM on this? Oh, they are trying to figure out how to make Bush look bad.” This is why these nuts are so fun to mock. The post is a cite to CBS and they wonder where the MSM is?!?!

“and the MSM is saying ?????? cant find it.

shooter on January 8, 2007 at 7:34 PM”

“First, they have to find a way of ascribing it to the divine ascendancy of Reichsfuhrer Pelosi to the throne.

Second, they’ll have to find a way of describing a plane as being “stuck in an unwinnable quagmire� and, thirdly, they’re all waiting for AP to invent an “eyewitness� testifying that the gunship actually took out three orphanages, seven weddings, fifteen mosques and a partridge in a pear tree.

Misha I on January 8, 2007 at 8:28 PM” (yes, that Misha)

“Misha I, loved your summation. Perfect!

Entelechy on January 8, 2007 at 9:07 PM”

 
 

posts – meaning comments on the post

 
 

Retardo is such a hot, hot hunney.

PS FREE CHUCKLES! DOWN WITH CARLSON!!!

 
 

BREAKING NEWS:

Nothing terrorist related happened at the Port of Miami today.

In related news, we’re fighting something or other in some country somewhere.

Up next: Viva la Motorhead?

 
 

Maybe you all would rather no one even told you that ANYTHING was happening at the Port of Miami????

No, annie, I’m dying to know all the happenings at the Port of Miami. Can you get in there and do some research?

Have they brought in some new vending machines in the longshoreman’s locker room? Reupholstered the furniture in the Carnival Cruise departure lounge? Are there new developments in how the process ID cards?

Do tell.

 
 

Are you on glue? I think you should quit the huffing, honey.

Maybe get your head out of your ass while you’re at it.

 
 

I come to this blog and TBogg’s blog because I enjoy it. If you don’t enjoy it, you don’t have to come here. Will someone please explain the free market to these right-wing guys?

 
 

BREAKING NEWS: Nothing terrorist related happened at the Port of Miami today…

Anybody else reminded of the joke that ends “Stardate 1-7-83: Today, the Captain was not drunk… “?

 
 

Come for the demockracy, stay for the pie.

 
 

My we’re rectally oriented today, aren’t we angel?

 
 

I link to a post pointing to entries on Ace’s blog. Therefore, the blog from which I am is exclusively about right-wing blogs. Ipso ergo dictum facto bastardes, and touché to you elite limo liberals with your chardonnays and your yarmulkes.

 
 

I think they should keep all the news quiet, never let anyone know a damn thing that is going on.

That will shut you lot up.

 
 

Have you seen the Tbogg parody site Ace put together? Well, maybe parody is too strong a word. Think Pee Wee Herman going, “Look at me. I think I’m so cool. Mu-mu-mu-mu-muh.”

Anyway, Ace doesn’t seem quite as “flattered” by lefty attention as he’d have you believe.

 
 

“…my time is too valuable for that, and my readers could give a rat’s ass what “Retardo Montalbanâ€? might think about Dan Riehl — ”
But wait! Apparently, since he DOES know what you all are up to, his time, by his own admitance, is NOT too valuable to spend on reading other such lowly blogs as S,N!

I iunderstand how Cheeto opening procedures are rather taxing on one’s free time, but does he really need to trump himself up like this?

 
 

Who is giving whom the attention? SadlyNo wouldn’t exist without raggin on people who actually write their own opinions.

You’re stoopid.

 
 

Effing damn, I could have sworn i change that back.

“I think they should keep all the news quiet, never let anyone know a damn thing that is going on.
That will shut you lot up.”

Who’s “they”? The government? The Soviets? The same aliens who took you from your room when you were eight and probed your mind with egg whisks?

 
 

“I think they should keep all the news quiet, never let anyone know a damn thing that is going on.

I agree. Especially when there’s actually nothing going on.

 
 

Is someone not getting the attention (s)he craves?

 
 

Annie, it’s not the report out of Miami that’s causing so much hilarity around here, it’s the breathless and uncritical eagerness with which Fox News and Right Blogistan jump up and down with glee over reports like that, only to have to “UPDATE” later with “Uh, guess not.”

I am all in favor of port security, and I very much wish the administration had put into port security a significant fraction of the time, effort and money that they put into invading Iraq. But come on, two Port of Miami non-events in two days — that’s just a laff riot!

I now return you to your regular pie, already in progress.

 
 

He checks his sitemeter and comes to the conclusion that all “lefty bloggers” are making fun of all “right leaning” blogs. This leads him to the conclusion that he is a “Media Super Star”.

Ace? DUDE!!

 
 

Who is giving whom the attention? SadlyNo wouldn’t exist without raggin on people who actually write their own opinions. – annieangel

Actually, I agree wholeheartedly. What would we do all day if we didn’t have these people to mock?

 
 

Why do you hate America so much?? Huh? Republicans are people, just like liberals, only better. You all just sit around and bitch about your betters, and say absolutely NOTHING of any real consequence. You are all idiots, full of sound and fury, and saying absolutely nothing.

 
 

MOCK????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, that was a good one. 🙂

 
Annie Angel Troll Inc.
 

Plz ignore the Angie Angel troll. Like Gary, though less amusing, it is not interested in a dialogue with you.

 
 

Ace sayz…
Just checking my trackbacks SiteMeter referrals, I’m finding, to my surprise, that the lefty blogs I assumed all this time were covering the news are not, in fact, covering the news.

They are, by and large, and to the near-exclusion of all else, covering right-leaning blogs covering the news.

An astonishing admission, that in fact, right-leaning blogs are not covering “news” Thanks for clearing that up sport.

 
 

Anyone ever tried Bittburger? It’s pretty good, and the store by me sells it for a little less than $1/pint can.

 
 

Yes. We laugh at them because we’re so intrigued by their global super-stardom.
Also, “Homeboys in Outer Space” was cancelled because the world just wasn’t ready for it yet.

 
 

Righteous Bubba: Chick is online, you know.

Jesus, the front page has the very comic that nearly made me shit my pants when I was five. Had nightmares about it even. A whisperer would go to hell. Wonder what’s with the 2002 copyright?

I much prefer the ones with Elizabeth Montgomery flying over a Proctor & Gamble moon.

 
 

I don’t see a single post by Ann Althouse on this thread.

Someone should call the hospitals. I’m worried.

 
 

Hey Brad, where the fuck are your balls? You should be making a post about how big of a piece of fucking SHIT Tucker Carlson is.

I mean, really.

 
 

“Why do you hate America so much?? Huh? Republicans are people, just like liberals, only better. You all just sit around and bitch about your betters, and say absolutely NOTHING of any real consequence. You are all idiots, full of sound and fury, and saying absolutely nothing.”

LOL and ha ha ha! Beautiful. Even if you aren’t parody, you’re parody. You make Jesus’ General look like a piker.

 
 

The problem with Tucker Carlson, princess, is that Jon Stewart already bent him over and rode him all round the farmyard. Also, just looking at the guy you know everyone who’s known him has ragged on him mercilessly.
Just no point.

 
a different brad
 

Oops. Was still feeling the effects of the DMT, forgot to put my name back.

 
 

That’s not Retardo, that’s the EVIL parallel-universe Geddy Lee. He’s even playing his Rickenbacker left-handed.

I’ll bet there’s a goatee under all that hair. . .

 
 

Jesus General is a lame imitation of Reverend Moneky. Jesus General is a pussy who will rot in Hell. He really sucks.

He used to like me, until I spanked his sinning ass into the next century and made him cry.

 
 

“Well, either we’re now all Media Super Stars who need to be kept in check, or they’re basically trivial-minded people who are quite comfortable within the tiny boxes of inconsequence they’ve built for themselves…” Ace

How about the notion that Ace has built a great big box of consequence that has nothing to do with reality. Nothing. I hope he keeps slinging it, to tell you the truth. Malkin and all the rest too. It’s finally, finally becoming apparent they don’t tell the truth. They do something else which hasn’t adequately been defined. But they don’t tell the truth.

 
 

Ace wrote:

…my time is too valuable for that, and my readers could give a rat’s ass what “Retardo Montalbanâ€? might think about Dan Riehl….

Shades of “Why should we hear about body bags and deaths? It’s not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?”, anyone?

Sonic: Add me to the list of people who wondered what was so funny about that, until mousing over the link. I saved you the cost of a keyboard by not drinking anything at the time. You’re welcome.

annieangel:

He used to like me, until I spanked his sinning ass into the next century and made him cry.

You haven’t been paying attention to the effect spanking has on the General, have you?

 
 

Ok, I wake up and go get a glass of V8 at like 3AM, and I see this:

I’m gonna find out where you work and get your ass fired.

We have almost no rules here, by ancient tradition, and we pretty much hate doing obtrusive admin-type stuff because we don’t consider ourselves special from anyone else in comments.

However, nobody is going to find out where anyone works or get anyone fired, or anything like that. Even a vain threat to do such a thing is in the tiny, tiny category of always-not-funny.

Annieangel, no soup for you for 24 hours.

Grh.

 
 

Gavin, have you been paying attention??? Tucker Carlson got Chuckles FIRED.

Sheesh, you really need to learn to get a clue.

 
 

HEY!

What the fuck Gavin???????? Deleting comments now???

Nazi.

 
 

Gavin, have you been paying attention??? Tucker Carlson got Chuckles FIRED.

Sheesh, you really need to learn to get a clue.

I’m aware of that. I did the art for Chuckles’s post, and I’m preparing one for here.

Please step away from the blog for a day. I don’t want to go into the site and do any IP stuff, ok?

 
 

Holy FUCK Gavin. Check out piecrusts link, asshole.

 
 

Ban me asshole. Ban me for making a FUCKING JOKE.

You stupid shitface bitch. You really are a fucking git.

 
 

You are as bad as Carlson, Gavin.

Truely. Go back to bed, you are irrational.

 
 

If I come back here in the morning and find you’ve been commenting, it’ll be no soup or pie for 24 hours…

 
 

“Ban me asshole. Ban me for making a FUCKING JOKE.

You stupid shitface bitch. You really are a fucking git. ”

Yeah, Gavin. Don’t be irrational or over-reactive. That would be silly.

 
 

What the fuck did Miss Annie do, Gavin? What the hell did she do to get your panties all up in a bunch? Make a fucking joke? I mean here you are allowing people to steal her link and act as if THEY ARE HER, she makes a fucking joke about current events that you apparently know NOTHING ABOUT and then you are going to delete her posts? And oh yeah, she made fun of that looser Jesus General whose cock you have decided that you must have permanently superglued to your lips because he is the king or some shit. I mean really.

You are a disgusting piece of shit, Gavin. Wo you really think that anyone gives a fuck about this web site? Why don’t you just ban everyone? I mean, that’s what you do, right? Ban people who make jokes because they are having their NAMES STOLEN ON YOUR WEB SITE? People who make fun of the high and mighty Jesus General?

Oh and by the way, I will be having private investigators contacting your coworkers in the morning.

That was a fucking joke if you didn’t know, you moron.

 
 

I did nothing wrong, Gavin. But if it makes you feel better, if it makes you feel all powerful or some such shit BAN ME.

I don’t give a fuck. Really, I don’t.

Ban me forever, you nazi shiteater. You really are an idiot.

And you suck.

 
 

Wow.
Kids, don’t take your personal demons out on others.
Calm down, you two. Don’t work yourselves up like that.

 
 

All IP’s are being logged. Keep it up Annie, and I will fucking destroy you.

 
 

I never said that I would destroy you.

 
 

Gavin has gone insane, different Brad.

I did nothing wrong. He went nuts.

 
Annie Angel Troll Inc.
 

If only no soup for you actually meant something.

No soup for you is what Barbara Bush threatened George with when he put hand grenades into the mouths of frogs and look what happened?

 
 

All I wanted was a glass of V8. Is that too much?

Shlimpers, I’m looking in ye Bigge Booke of Rules here, and it says that pretending to be someone else in comments is a Funnye Jape ye Like of Wyche is Common fr. ye Purposse of Greate Merrimente.

I just go by the book, man.

 
 

No, princess, you and limpy are the ones getting worked up. Gavin has an ownership stake in this sandbox, so he gets to lay down the law sometimes. It’s one thing to argue your political opinions, but you’re just cursing right now. And the person saying that has a pretty fucking foul mouth.

 
Annie Angel Troll Inc.
 

While you’re at it, ban that fucking limpdick a different brad. He’s lamer than shoegimp and annie put together. Asshole thinks Annie’s got nice legs. Idiot.

 
 

When did I say that? Don’t think I did. But I’ve been mean enough to the princess without getting personal.

 
 

Whoah there Gavin. You mean the same book that says when there is something going on in the world and you make a humorous reference to it then all is well and good? That if you make fun of other blogs then everything is fine and dandy? That is all Miss Annie did here, before you started in with all of this shit.

I am so going to get Fox Security on your ass. Oops, I shouldn’t have said that, it might get me banned. Making fun of insane pundits who want to abuse their power is against the rules at Sadly No.

 
 

Don’t whoa me!!!!

 
 

He deleted my “horrible” remarks, different Brad. Threatening me with banning over nothing is why I am worked up. Fuck you.

 
 

Jay-sus. At least change the URL tag when you namesteal. Dumber than a bag of shit, I swear.

 
 

You’re on my list now, Matt. All I wanted was a V8. Now I have to ban everyone.

I’m calling Oberman.

 
 

*looks at self in mirror*
Why did I wade into this….
If he misunderstood the comment in semi-sleep, then oops, let it go. I don’t understand why someone who chooses to be provocative doesn’t have a bit of a thicker skin. It’s one comment on one blog out of millions. It’s not so important you need to find various ways to say fuck for a while, fun as that can be sometimes.

 
Annie Angel Troll Inc.
 

No soup for you, George Bush. No soup for you.

 
 

Okay, everyone commenting as me after 10:46PM German time (above) is officially not me.

I can easily prove that I’m not Annie or Shlimpers by saying something at least mildly amusing, but I’ll figure this out in the morning.

 
 

In the post, Ace is quoted as typing:

They are, by and large…

Are we sure he didn’t mean to type:

They are bi, and large…

?

 
 

I invented namestealing you idiot. Don’t tell me how to do my links. I am Gavin M. The M. stands for Motherfucking King Shit, Motherfucker.

 
 

Oh, the current post and the post made at 11:04 PM (German Time) are officially me. All other posts made after 10:46 PM (German Time) with my name are officially not me. So is the official word from the one and only official Gavin M.

God I crack me up.

 
 

Steal this name!

 
 

Oh, the current post and the post made at 11:04 PM (German Time) are officially me. All other posts made after 10:46 PM (German Time) with my name are officially not me. So is the official word from the one and only official Gavin M.

God I crack me up.

Not funny. Ergo, Shoelimpy.

 
 

Different Brad, stay out of this. I will be as irrational and insane as I want. It’s MY BLOG DAMMIT@@@!!@!@!#!@!@!@!

Don’t make me ban you for 12.5 hours.

 
 

Oh, the current post and the post made at 11:04 PM (German Time) are officially me. All other posts made after 10:46 PM (German Time) with my name are officially not me. So is the official word from the one and only official Gavin M.

God I crack me up.

Not funny. Ergo, Shoelimpy.

Made after 10:46 PM. Ergo, offically not me. I would use this opportunity to go into some philosophical musings about the existentialist nature of my existence, but I’m not the brains around here.

 
 

Stop namestealing me, Brad. This whole namestealing thing is starting to go too far. Going too far is against the rules. Unless it brings traffic to the site, in which case it is good.

I wish Atrios were here to figure this whole thing out for me, it is making my head hurt.

 
 

Don’t make Atrios drag out the Blogger Ethics Panel again. Think of the children!

 
 

Atrios will do anything I say. After he does it, I say it and it’s DONE.

You don’t understand funny. None of you understand funny. Only I understand funny.

 
 

Do I need to step in here and sort things out, children?

 
 

Everyone go to bed right now or no more sleepovers for 4 months.

 
 

Was hasst du mein bloggen tun?

 
 

Gavin likes the taste of recycled urine.

You didn’t hear it from me.

 
 

Annie- YOU ARE MINE! Please report with the sufficient amount of servitude to the location you are already familiar with in the next six hours. Compliance will be rewarded.

 
 

I crashed WAY too early, am up at an insane hour and I find my favorite blog has gone meta.
Oh well, it happened to TBogg, too. Guess it’s all the rage.
Time for morning pie.

 
 

Alright! Who’s the Bull Goose Loony here!?

 
 

I like pecan.

 
 

Who steals my purse, steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;
‘Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands:
But he that filches from me my good name
Should be banned from Sadly, No! for at least three months.

 
 

“Sadly No said,

January 9, 2007 at 11:31

Was hasst du mein bloggen tun?”

It’s ok, they only hit the bottle once or twice a week. I just keep wondering if they’re sitting across the room from one another sharing a trough of cheezy-poofs.

 
 

Ya Know, If y’all had universal healthcare the Trolls would always have their bi-polar medicide available….

 
 

Can a person steal the name of another person when that name is not their name at all but a nom de web that actually keeps the other person anonymous? Sadly, no. At least Ms. Alt house uses her own name and had a starting point to be vexed, although that starting point was right next to a cliff, sorta like Wile E Coyote. Also, satire people, sheesh. I’m expecting Wile E Coyote to show up here momentarily and complain about the misuse of his name.

 
 

I have a Google alert for my own name, set up to email me as soon as it happens. I monitor the use of my name for occasions just like this.

 
 

Hmm, I wonder whether that wiley coyote has Google alerts set up for homophones of his name, too?

 
 

I wonder if Shoelimpy ever returned Annie’s credit cards.

 
 

Wile E. Coyoteâ„¢ said,

January 9, 2007 at 15:30

I have a Google alert for my own name, set up to email me as soon as it happens.’

Yeah that Acme.com email address; it drops an anvil on your head every time you open your inbox.

 
 

God, I just read this whole thread, and now I’m suffering flashbacks of the fuckedcompany.com message boards.

 
 

Shorter Gavin:[facepalming] “I coulda not had a V-8.”

 
 

Gavin M said,

January 9, 2007 at 11:20

I like pie!

No wonder I like Gavin.

 
 

Did somebody call me a homo?

 
 

I’m a paper tiger christian. I say horrifically rude things all the time, I support illegal wars, and constantly act like a slut that is 20 years younger than my true age, yet call myself a Christian.

Yet my head doesn’t explode from the dissonance. It’s weird. Maybe my incredibly hot legs make up for it. I’m so damn sexy. You all want me, but can’t have me.

Damn I’m hot.

 
 

Jeezus, everybody’s got an opoinion about pie. Oughta change the name of the blog to Sadly, Pie!…

mikey

 
 

I’m saved fuckers!

 
 

I’m saved fuckers!

You know, I woke up this morning thinking I was hasty in asking Annie not to comment for a day — and then there were like ninety-million comments from her, like “Ha ha! I’ll do the opposite of what you ask, suxxor.”

Which of course made it impossible to just forget about it like I wanted to.

Soup tomorrow, Annie!

 
 

Soup tomorrow, Annie

Is it pie soup?

 
 

I’m saved fuckers!
Is my favorite all time aa quote. It has been scorched into my memory with the wood burning hobby kit of unbeleivable irony.
I like it best because I doubt she meant to be ironic. I will always treasure it.

 
 

Wow – filter just told me my last comment was spam. How very annoying.

 
 

!?

 
 

is this thing on?

 
 

Fuck you, Annie.

 
 

That was a namestealer not me, Gavin. For someone who thinks he is so smart you really are fucking dumb.

 
 

Fuck you, Annie.

Nice try, Shoelimpy.

Remember our test: If a comment is posted under my name, but is an odd, dull beige color and sucks all the humor from the surrounding comments, then it is presumed to be, in fact, a Shoelimpy Special.

 
 

Actually it was me, Gavvy. I love how you get all brave and threaten to ban me when you are being a dick, then in the morning when you realize you were being a dick, still think that you should enforce your ban of dickotry because your orders were not obeyed by namestealers!!!!

The head spins. AG hates you now.

 
 

Actually it was me, Gavvy. I love how you get all brave and threaten to ban me when you are being a dick, then in the morning when you realize you were being a dick, still think that you

Oh gee, my bad. I guess I should also put this IP address on 24-hour double-secret probation, for clearly Annieangel is now posting from it.

 
 

For doing exactly what again? What exactly did I do…again?

 
 

Wow, all this talk about theft! Here’s something for ya.

Have you seen the Tbogg parody site Ace put together?

I went to that site and what did my wonderous eyes behold (or some such shit)…why hotlinking! I’d say I’m shocked, but we know how these kinds of things slip the average rightwing mind.

Here’s a hint, sir, hotlinking is bad. Very bad. Thievery even. Tsk, tsk.

 
 

annieangel said,

January 9, 2007 at 20:35

I’m saved fuckers!

I fess, ‘t’was me. Thanks for the correcting and technifyin’, Seb!

 
 

For doing exactly what again? What exactly did I do…again?
Well…you were your usual charming self.
that would be my guess.
I’m saved fuckers!

 
 

Thunder – if you’re still here
right back at ya!

 
 

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