Mark Noonan: ¡Ay, Caramba!

Dear Gavin,

Because of you, I am now addicted to reading Mark Noonan. Goddamn you. Goddamn you to hell.

[Gavin adds: That photo… Every time I see that dark-browed, Cushing-coiffed Hammer Films visage staring out at me, I hear this coming from his laptop.]

I mean, just look at what he wrote today:

More of That Iraqi Military the MSM Pretends Doesn’t Exist

We don’t get a lot of these reports in the MSM – and the reason for this is because if the MSM started reporting on the increasingly effective Iraqi security forces, then they might have to admit that we’re doing some good work in Iraq and that would just knock the bottom out of the MSM worldview.

In case you were wondering, Noonan’s exclusive “scoop” that the MSM won’t touch is a press release from the Operation Iraqi Freedom website, which bills itself as the “Official Website of Multi-National Force- Iraq.” Other stories on the page include “Coalition forces wound 1 suspected terrorist, capture 8 others,” “Iraqi Army gain NCOs and new medical facilities,” and “Iraqi Freedom Day.” The website also offers up some fun “freedom facts” such as “Women comprise 25% of the Iraqi Parliament, which is the highest proportion in the Arab world and one of the largest percentages worldwide.” Neat-o.

By citing these government press releases, Mark has effectively shown us that the biased MSM is not covering the good news in Iraq. I wish I could say I’m surprised, but really I’m not. The good folks at Taco Bell have also fallen victim to a recent MSM smear campaign, where reporters have relentlessly attacked the company for an alleged “outbreak” of a supposed “poisonous bacteria” in some of its restaurants. Of course, while the MSM focuses on the bad news, it ignores all of the good things that Taco Bell is doing that would undercut the MSM’s anti-chalupa worldview.

If you scan the latest news over at Taco Bell’s website, for instance, you’ll discover that Taco Bell has decided to bring back the Cheesy Gordita Crunch in response to customer demand:

What’s wrapped up in chewy, melted cheesy goodness, and delivered with a nice crunch inside?

For millions of Cheesy G lovers, the answer is the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, one of Taco Bell’s most popular limited time offer menu items ever, which makes its long awaited return October 16 through November 19 at participating Taco Bell restaurants nationwide.

Indeed. If the MSM spent as much time reporting on the Cheesy G as it spent reporting on perfectly harmless “bacteria” such as E. Coli, Taco Bell’s reputation as one of the world’s finest restaurants would still be intact. What do you think of that, Adorable Chihuahua?

“&#161No quiero MSM bias! &#161Aye!”

Heh. Indeed.


Comments: 33


I hope Mark Noonan wasn’t using his integrity that much, anyway….


Ah. The same Mark Noonan who said:

Pinochet is Dead

“Dying at 91, 18 years after he voluntarily surrendered power when the people of Chile voted to end his rule.

Since the end of his rule, various leftwing groups have been after Pinochet to try him for crimes committed under his authority. None of these groups have made a move to indict Fidel Castro, and that is all anyone really needs to know about them.”

Oh, those bothersome lefty victims of Pinochet’s rule. Those moonbat judges seeking retribution for those itty-bitty massacres. What-ever. Why can’t those dhimmis take a page from the wingnut playbook and run underground terror operations against an enemy of choice?


So… um… If Iraq is in such good shape, and the Iraqis want us to leave… We should be getting out of there any time now, right?


Mark is also probably wondering why the MSM is ignoring all the free money being given away by Nigerian bankers or those pills that will make it longer and girthier.


The MSM has totally ignored the fact that Tinsley has NOT gotten caught for drunk driving for several days prior to yesterday!


The fact is if the MSM had just reported that Mark Foley didn’t send any lewd messages to female pages, America wouldn’t be Marxist today.


More good news about the Iraqi army:

at 1:30 this afternoon when an employee of the investors bank were bringing a big amount of money inside the bank in saadon street near city centre, 4 civilian cars stopped in front of the bank with people wearing Iraqi army uniforms, took the bank employees with the money, and disappeared


Hey, at least they can pull off bank robberies without American help. Every step counts.


Now we know what happened to the Psyops budget…


Other stories on the page include “Coalition forces wound 1 suspected terrorist, capture 8 others�

Wow, that’s great! And considering we’ve only lost, what, 25 soldiers so far this month, that makes for a casualty-to-loss ratio of a whopping 3 to 1. That’s a great deal!


I’m Leo Getz, and whatever you want, Leo gets.


On a completely unrelated note, anyone know anything about billmon lately? His blog has been fucked up for weeks now. Did Dick Cheney shoot him in the face or something?


Even the political retards he supports admit the war is a failure. What’s his problem?


Robin Williams dressed as Mork saying “Noonan Noonan”. You know you want to.


But yet, the MSM continues to thrive in the Free Market.

As if it happens to deliver what people want.

What is he, a friggin Communist?


Mmmm… Taco Bell…

Wait, what were you saying?


These idiots come down with a cold, take too much robitussin and have a particularly vivid dream, and that forms there worldview forever. They come up with these, er, theories, like the vaunted “MSM” won’t tell the truth (as if it was a single entity) or that Democrats are actively helping Islamic Terrorists destroy America. And they can go on and on with their “evidence”. But what they never seem willing to do is provide the reasoning, the backstory. I mean, these things prima facie make no sense and therefore cry out for some kind of justification, no matter how wingnutty and sureal…



Ya know, about 15 years ago I could get a “cheesarito” at my local Taco Bell. It was like the “Chilito” but had cheese instead of chili in it. Why the hell doesn’t the leftist MSM track down the cheesarito? Huh? Because I really liked me some cheesaritos.


While the Pentagon reports American dead on a regular basis, they rarely report the number of “kills” of bad Iraqi people in such a diligent fashion. Obviously, the problem is that the Pentagon is trying as hard as it can to lose.

And in a distant, inconceivable non-parallel, scalene Universe, a Mr. Noonan might perceive that the Pentagon probably does not want to loudly trumpet the number of “kills” of bad Iraqi people (BIP) because this would tend to forward the concept that the U.S. is at war with the Iraqi people and success is gauged by the number of dead Iraqi people racked up every day; and in doing so create even more organized hostility and resistance to the U.S. occupation.


But what they never seem willing to do is provide the reasoning, the backstory. I mean, these things prima facie make no sense and therefore cry out for some kind of justification, no matter how wingnutty and sureal…

I think the narrative is that ‘the left’ took everything over in the late ’60s and early ’70s, leading to the loss of the Vietnam War and the railroading of Nixon, etc., and that although Ronald Reagan soon brought America back to sanity, vestiges of fierce, entrenched leftist resistance still remain….


The fact is, no one makes a greasy Americanized taco like Taco Bell. Scallions smeared with infected fecal matter be damned! To the Seanlymobile for some crunchy goodness!

Actually, I do luvs me some Taco Bell, but I suppose I’ll wait until my explosive bowels calm down before I go back. Funny thing is that my squirting anus has been writing columns like Noonans since my last run to Teh Bell.


Taco Bell is truly a unique dining experience. Unlike any other place, all the food items taste the same at Taco Bell, but you order different textures. As in, Hi, I’ll take 2 crunchy, 1 gooey and 1 chewey…


Herr Doktor Bimler

that would just knock the bottom out of the MSM worldview.
In fact the bottom fell out of the MSM worldview the other day, when I was using it to carry home a couple of takeaway curries. Splat, extra-hot rogan josh all over the footpath. Sorry about that, MSM. But I think the worldview was already weakened by Mikey using it for his tacos.


I hear this coming from his laptop

Yet another euphemism… .


For the truth, you need Wing Nut Daily!

With an extra hearty har har har for Shlannieâ„¢.


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Why does no one care about the GREEN CHILI SAUCE that went MIA during the late 70’s?

Green burritos, you are not forgotten!

(I’m sorry, what was the topic again?)

LA Confidential Pantload

So Taco Bell’s now marketing the Gordita Crunch IED in Iraq? Or – what am I missing here? Sorry, too much Captain Morgan again.


“Ya know, about 15 years ago I could get a “cheesaritoâ€? at my local Taco Bell.”

They’re not on the menu but if you order one, they’ll still make it.

This has been Roseanne, your guide to the world of facts.


Brigantine Castle!


Gaah! How dare he use a Powerbook in that photo? Or is it a Macbook Pro? It’s hard to tell them apart in pix like that. but I’m just sayin’, he seems much more the Dell Inspironâ„¢ type. Or a Lenovo Thinkpad. And the spam filter is gonna get me for mentioning all those brand names. Feh! We need a “safe” word that semi-trusted commentators can use to let the spam filter know we’re OK. Something like “splunge” or “semprini.”


The safe word is “Neidermayer’.
At least it was a few years ago. For me.
Carry on.


[…] that is so utterly inane that there is not even one other wingnut on the face of the planet, Mark Noonan included, who could make it with a straight face. Lorie might as well argue that we shouldn’t […]


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