Let There Be A War On Christmas…And Let It Begin Here

On such a day as today, it is meet to give thanks for the blessings which fell unto us in the waning year, and to thank those who have made such blessings possible.

Above: Thanks, Gibbons!

And now it’s time to look ahead: Rather than destroy Christmas in the usual way this year — by boiling elves and impaling Christians on giant candy canes and peeing in creches, and all that — our plan, as liberals, is to work within the system, to send spies into Christmas itself, and to bring this so-called, scare-quotes “holiday” to ruin by the grinding of its own cogs.

Above: “O, wither’d is the garland of the war, The North Pole is fallen.”

Target: Boston!!!1!111!!

Christmas in the City is a non-religious volunteer organization that works with Boston’s homeless families and assists them in making the transition from homelessness to independent living. The major event each year is an enormous holiday party for more than 2800 homeless kids and their families, where the kids are fed a huge meal and turned loose into a giant-ass indoor carnival-playground-thing with moonwalks and pony rides and fire trucks — and at the end of the party, every kid gets a toy he requested from Santa.

If you’re in or near Boston, you can help with a bunch of things. If not, you can shop from an Amazon wishlist for the kids.

Or if you’re not near Boston, or hate kids and fire engines, p’raps you can contact a sleeper cell in your own community. (Heh heh heh.) [Nominations for Christmas-destroying liberal woo-hoo jihad cells are welcome in comments.] {for graet jutstice!1!}

Update: Another sleeper cell, courtesy of Martin Wisse


Comments: 138


Muhahahahaha! What better way to undermine religion in America than to attack a Pagan holiday that Christians grudgingly came to accept until the Puritans came to New England and banished it, only to see it gradually accepted into the mainstream in the late 1800s!


Our plan is subtle.


Hmmm.. I like fire trucks, but hate kids, and my sister lives in Boston… do I get partial credit?
I remember that my church at least used to ( I haven’t been there in a while, a ssume they still do) do that Angel Tree thing, which is like that, but with less moonbounce and more angels being torn in half.
It makes more sense if you see how it works…


If you REALLY wanted to be a snarky, you could photoshop Santa’s grave intot eh foreground of a Coca Cola factory.


I like it! I like it!

This will ruin Christmas, because we will treat the children well without regard to their professed beliefs! We will give them toys rather than Jack Chick tracts! We will not burn their temples (or any other parts of their heads)!

Christmas will fall in no time! It will be a cakewalk!


that Angel Tree thing, which is like that, but with less moonbounce and more angels being torn in half.

Can we tear annieangel in half, or is that a different kind of party?

Oh, crap. Now that I’ve said her name, she’s going to show up, isn’t she?


Heh, well, the proverbial “angels” of the angel tree were paper, “angel-shaped” wish cards that the kids would fill out. There was a top half and a bottom half, with ID numbers on each half, and when you got the present and had it wrapped, you peeled off the bottom half and stuck it to the presant so the right oen would go to the right kid.
Ergo the lifeless angel torsos strewn about like the calm next morn’ of the battlefield.

Hey, can we hold O’Reilly as an unlawful enemy combantant?


bwa ha ha…i have now subverted the traditional O’Reillyian holiday “X-Mas” by sending toys to homeless children…chalk one up for the vast anti-X-mas conspiracy…

all yer holiday are belong to librulz…we’re all up in yer holidays giving out presents…make your time.


Do you really think the War on Christmas is funny? You won’t be laughing in fifty years when Christmas doesn’t exist anymore and you will remember the olden days of good times and holidays that are no longer allowed because of a bunch of insane secular progressive lunatics. If America hasn’t been destroyed by terrorists by then.


I urge everyone who wants to (in a consensual way, of course) to have sex on Christmas day. And not for procreation, but pure enjoyment. Be sure to light the Christmas candles and turn on the Christmassy lights. Park your bodies near the Christmas tree.


Is our plan also quick to anger? Does it not also feature a logo with a flaming stocking and the words “ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS ARE MINE”

Thanks Gibbons!

I am mesmerized by their wise and hairy visages. They speak to me through the eons, commanding me to destroy Christmas with a massive porky Christmas brunch.


When I was a boy, we waited until after Thanksgiving was over to destroy Christmas. My, how times have changed.


If America hasn’t been destroyed by terrorists by then.

Precious, if America hasn’t yet been destroyed by Nazis, Japanese, or the fucking Soviet Union, I don’t think a group of….never mind. Do go on about how they’ll destroy us. This should be good.

Oh, and in fifty years, Christmas will begin in June, and will be so commercialized it will run half the annual economy.

Herr Doktor Bimler

As long as there are no clowns.

Freshly Squeezed Cynic

Oh, and in fifty years, Christmas will begin in June, and will be so commercialized it will run half the annual economy.

And that won’t be because of the evil liberals, Shoelimpy. It’ll be because everyone wants to stuff their fucking faces.

Ah, the free market.


I hate clowns. Clowns are evil.


Oh – and I spit on Santa’s grave!

LA Confidential Pantload

I thought about contributing a couple of talking Jesus dolls, but then I remembered promising my girlfriend that I’d try not to be an asshole for the holidays. Maybe some stuffed animals instead.


I agree with Lesley, more or less. The way to truly destroy Christmas is to find your partner du jour and have grand merry sex and then have more of it. If you don’t have a tree, you can always have at it in the warm glow of “It’s a Wonderful Life” being televised for the 150th time.


>>Oh, crap. Now that I’ve said her name, she’s going to show up, isn’t she?

You have to say it 3 times, like ‘Hastur’. Oh damn, I said ‘Hastur’.


I think everyone is being a little unserious here. Shoelimpy’s right, if we don’t loudly and obnoxiously insist that we shout merry Christmas to everyone we see, regardless of whether they celebrate it, the whole Christmas spirit will be ruined. Same if we volunteer to help our fellow humankind, or spend time with loved ones. My goodness, Osama Bin Laden cackles with delight every time he hears “Happy Holidays.” Because it’s with that sort of underhanded treachery that he shall destroy America.


Because it’s with that sort of underhanded treachery that he shall destroy America.

I’m still waiting for Shoelimpy to explain this terrorist destruction of the US. I’d really like to know how these piddle-soaked paranoids think it can be done without a land invasion force of at least one to two million troops or a thousand nuclear weapons.


You know, I just can’t think of a better way for wingnuts to celebrate the spirit of the joyous holiday season than by turning “Merry Christmas” into an epithet, much like they did with “liberal.”


Ted, the Homexulaminist plan to destroy America is a simple and brutal one:

1. Destroy Christmas by making everyone say “Happy Holidays”
2. Since Christmas is an integral part of the Christian makeup of the United States, this will corrupt America morally from within.
3. Once this corruption has rotted away at the soul of America through legalizing gay marriage and stem cell research, Osama will then attack.
4. The Democrats, being cowards, would then surrender, and implement Sharia.


They’re going to trick us into destroying ourselves.


Didn’t this Shoelimpy guy go on a bender with Annie’s credit cards a few months back? I don’t remember the details but I do remember that being the best few days in the history of Annie’s crappy blog.


Okay, the monkey picture made me spit coffee. I’m looking forward to making the baby Jesus cry by having hot, raw man-on-man buttsex under the tree this year — directly in front of His little crib in our little nativity set! Also, we’ll be making cookies.


Happy Thanksgiving, Sadlynauts! Thanks for another year of laughs.


Do you really think the War on Christmas is funny?

Obviously, yes. Didn’t you read the post?

Boy, I can’t WAIT for that new show on Fox “News.” These people really have absolutely no sense of humor, or irony, or self-awareness.

Happy Thanksgiving, Shoelimpy. And Merry Fucking Christmas. Happy now?

Be grateful that you have survived another year without the islamofascists conquering America!!!! (Since you obviously believe we are such a weak nation and all…)


Personally, I hate kids, but the nice thing about this kind of giving is that you don’t actually have to spend any time with them.


Can someone translate this into LEET for me so I can put it on my holiday cards?

“We’re in yer Nativity Killin yer jeezus”

Thank you. I’m going to the far frozen north (well, marin county) to celebrate the bestest holiday of ’em all, T’Giving. A holiday dedicated to getting your loved ones together and consuming alcohol and delicious food to excess. What could be better? What could go wrong? In addition to all the other more obvious stuff, I give thanks this year to the proprieters and denizens of this wonderful blog that has given me much pleasure over the year. Thank you all. Now, let’s carve up that dead buzzard and get to it!!



Destroy Christmas by using Penny Arcade’s Child’s Play initiative to sent a satanic VIDEOGAME to some poor defenceless kiddie stuck in hospital over the holidays! HAHAHA!


“We’re in yer Nativity Killin yer jeezus�

I’m so stealing that…


I urge everyone who wants to (in a consensual way, of course) to have sex on Christmas day.

You mean “regular” sex or dirty, liberal, protestful public sex?



Can someone translate this into LEET for me so I can put it on my holiday cards?

“We’re in yer Nativity Killin yer jeezus�


W3’r3 1n ¥3r N471v17¥ |{1££1n ¥3r j332µ$


If it will help destroy Christmas, then I’m willing to have some hot girl-on-girl action. What can I say? I’m just a good soldier in the endless liberal war on decency. Or Christmas. Or whatever we’ve declared war on most recently.

But if I do this, I totally expect a promotion. I want to be a brigadier general, at least. Who do I have to talk to about this stuff to make it happen?


Who do I have to talk to about this stuff to make it happen?

From what I hear, it WAS Michael Moore, but he was drummed out of the service for being fat. So now it’s the supreme allied commander, George Soros.

W3’r3 1n ¥3r N471v17¥ |{1££1n ¥3r j332µ$

Thanks!!!11!1 Tomorrow morning I’m off to the printer…



So let me get this straight…..you’re sending Christmas cards that say you’re killing Jesus, but youre too scared to send it in English?


Sometimes I think you are all just really, really stupid. Excepting Pinko.


No hot women want you, Jill. You could barely score a dyke in a a sweatervest.


I cannot begin to express how much I loathe that woman. I find stupidity tedious, but willfull stupidity is agonizing. Buh bye…



Well Mikey, you said you were killing my God, and that was funny to you, but not to me. Free speech is fine, but I get mine too.


And why doesn’t anyone EVER call Jillian on her gay bashing??????????????

Imagine if she said “i’m willing to have some hot BLACK ON WHITE action………….


My God. I read one of the other blogs linked to by one of the commenters here and they are one of the least attractive human beings I could imagine. A nightmare mixture of self-righteous, petulant and terrified. Why do we tolerate this nonsense? Damn the internet and its free for all communication. More importantly, I don’t know anyone that smallminded, but how common are they? Am I likely to encounter this sort of thing?


Please allow me to repost annieangel’s bio on her ‘blog’, if I might:

Hi my name is Annie, I’m a 36 year old fitness professional and I love Jesus. Do you? Jesus loves you and He doesn’t want you to burn in Hell. Right now you are damned, unclean, your soul is a filthy rag and your future is doomed. Let Jesus into your heart and you will find eternal life. Drugs are not you. Booze is not you. Gambling is not you. Sexual perversion is not you. Your spirit is you and your spirit belongs to God. Free yourself from the chains of the corruption of the flesh through the flesh and blood of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen and Have a Blessed Day!

I think it’s a useful reminder of her insanity. I especially like the ‘sexual perversion’ part. I’m sure little annie is either married, or has never once had sex before. We do, after all, need to hold her to her ‘biblical’ standards.


Wow. Thanks for that injection of belligerent stupidity, Annie, the thread wouldn’t have been half as good without it.

Just one thing, though:


This is quite interesting given that Christmas grew out of a pagan holiday. Kind of makes it hard to show how devout you are when you yell about hypocrisy regarding the celebration of your saviours death on a day stolen from a pagan belief system. Or not.

A link, to kick off your research, hammerhead


“We’re in yer Nativity Killin yer jeezus�

Mikey, you’re a genius.



Yeah, that part had me wondering as well. Annie, let me explain something to you. Non-cultists typically don’t “hate” fictional characters. They’re not real, so there’s no reason to feel hatred for them. Furthermore, the bullshit actually attributed to “Jesus” are mostly good, liberal ideas. Too bad Christianists like yourself are fixated on the “Old Testament” and what might as well be the christian equivalent of Sharia law.


Um, guys……..

You’re trying to engage in serious, rational conversation with a troll.

Why? Seriously – why? Why do you do that?

Don’t y’all know what trolls are and how they work? You’re only encouraging her. She’s not interested in serious debate, and every time you talk to her, you only make yourself look foolish.

Just don’t. It’s as simple as that.


I think you need to read the thread below this one, when I explain the whole “we’re burning yr templz to build yr churches” thingy.


Jillian, your problem is you don’t think before you post. It’s not the first time.


Just don’t. It’s as simple as that.

You’re right of course. I thought if she had some genuine hostility here she might go away eventually, but I guess when you’re dealing with the mind of a 12 year old girl there’s no level communication that can be had.


Jillian, Jillian, Jillian, don’t you think we know that?

But, in the spirit of the season, don’t you think it’s incumbent on us charitable types to attempt an intervention? This was my good deed, today. Injecting a single central fact into a “conversation” with a batshit crazy twit. It’s almost as good as giving food to the homeless, only I don’t have to leave my house.


Someone here has got to be a technical wizard. So: I’m a big fan of Gresemonkey which lets you run bunches of little scripts via Firefox that can be site-specific. For instance, there’s a script to remove Xeni from Boing Boing which is pretty small:

if ( document.getElementById(‘content’) != null ) {
d = document.getElementById(‘content’)
k = d.childNodes;
bad = 0
for (i = k.length-1; i>=0; i–) {
try {
if (k[i].className == ‘posted’) {
if ( k[i].innerHTML.match(‘Xeni’)) bad = 1;
else bad = 0;
} catch (e) {}
if (bad) d.removeChild(k[i])

Every now and then I mean to learn this shit and offer it to the world, but it’s a lot like promising to go through the sock drawer and remove the strays. Maybe someone else has the necessary amount of brain-goo to make life nicer here.


Y’know, I’ll betcha you could make your own preview button.


Someone wrote a script I have for replacing “Darrell” posts at Balloon Juice with “I like pie!”. With some effort, I could probably get it to work here on certain 12 year olds’ posts…


Don’t fuck with me. The real Brad thinks I’m funny and likes to keep me around cuz I class up the joint.

😛 😛 😛


“Someone wrote a script I have for replacing “Darrellâ€? posts at Balloon Juice with “I like pie!â€?. With some effort, I could probably get it to work here on certain 12 year olds’ posts… ”

That would be cool, Ted. What kind of pie? I like pumpkin.


Don’t fuck with me. The real Brad thinks I’m funny and likes to keep me around cuz I class up the joint.

That has nothing to do with installing a script in our own browsers to block your 12 year old inanity.

BTW, the bibble forbids profanity, idiot.


How come Gary never shows up when Annieangel is here?


It’s because I’m really Gary.

I’d totally LOVE it if you all made your own scripts to block me. I am so in your domes, I’d probably have a party if you went to that much trouble over me.

Plus, I’d own the board. 🙂


I’d probably have a party if you went to that much trouble over me.

If I can get it to work, it won’t be trouble at all. Just a couple of clicks, once Greasemonkey is installed. And it won’t be because you’re ‘in our domes’. It would just be nice to have a thread without you spewing your Hitler Youth shit all over it.


And no, she’s not Gary. Gary doesn’t write like a child. He writes like a professional propagandist.


The fact is, I am Gary.


I actually like the idea that I’ll be invisible to the loosers who regularly frequent this board. 🙂 You won’t be invisible to me, and you won’t know what I’m saying aobut you. 🙂


Annie, did you donate a Christmas toy yet? This holiday needs a lot of destroyin’, one kid at a time…


and you won’t know what I’m saying aobut you. 🙂

Nor would I care. You remind me of Pammycakes at “Atlas Shruggs”. You’re a 12 year old trapped in a 30 something body, apparently.


I donate Christmas gifts through local charities, Gavin.


But I wonder if you know how many Christians would love your photoshop efforts. Many Christians would love to see the commericial aspects of Christmas destroyed too.


“you won’t know what I’m saying aobut you. ”

You know, annie, that actually sounds like a Good Thing. How about going all the way, so we won’t know what you’re saying about anything?


You need me to remind you of reality, g.


What, by providing a contrast?


By providing reality.


You need me to remind you of reality, g.

By providing delusion? Sorry, sweetie. Reality is right in front of me. Your crap is sky-fairies and Jebus voodoo dolls.


annie, shouldn’t you be in the kitchen helping Shoelimpy’s mom peel the sweet potatoes?


Shoelimpy’s mom is in Georgia where she is supposed to be. Praise Jesus.


Whoops, even in reference she must be referred to as “mother.” Mom is way to common for missy.


Strange how annie has taken a thread about helping homeless children and tried to make it all about her. That doesn’t seem terribly Christian of you, annie…


Mom is way to common for missy.

See? She’s not right in the head.


I didn’t make this thread about me. I responded to someone pissing on my God.

And Ted, you’re right, she’s not right in the head. She’s totally nuts, but I didn’t know you knew her.


shoelimpy makes annie all bitchy. She’s always a tedious bore, but when he shows up, she starts spewing hate so bad it’s tough for me to get all the way through the comments.


I have to admit.
The way annie riles some of y’all up is funny.
Not defending the things she says, just curious that so many are so easily provoked by it.
And jillian?
Every time you say to ignore annie you give her an orgasm.


If it will help destroy Christmas, then I’m willing to have some hot girl-on-girl action.

Jillian, let’s destroy Christmas together. I have a spare bedroom and everything, and my partner says it’s okay. The kd lang is already playing…


These look like absolutely wonderful things to contribute to, Gav, and I think participating in them (or in similar local efforts in your own community) reflect the best aspects of Christ and those who follow him humbly. It’s certainly better than beeting unsuspecting store clerks over the head with the cudgel of “You’d better wish me a Merry CHRISTmas or I’ll send you directly to Hell!”

Blessed be the peacemakers, and other hippie stuff.


Dear Sadders, Happy Thanksgiving to all you crazy Americans. As a foreigner, I am deeply grateful to you for coming to your senses and electing some civilised liberal thinkers to the House.The world appreciates it. Mwah.
Suezboo (official spokescommenter – Third World)


Is it already War on Christmas Season? My, how the time flies! I guess I’ll have to go downstairs and find my War on Christmas ornaments, and go out and buy a War on Christmas Wreath.


Stop pissing on my motherfucking God and not lusting after my sweet, sexy legs.


Diffbrad – I can’t speak for anyone else, but I do suspect that at least a few of the Sadlynosians who haven’t been posting in this or the other anniecentric thread might feel the same way I do. I’m not riled up over annie’s posts (and I think “easily provoked” is inaccurate as a descriptor for those who are riled up, BTW), I’m just bummed that when I have a day off and was looking forward to hanging out for a while with some smart, funny people here, the whole joint’s been polluted with the same boring old crap. So I’ll go read a book or watch a movie, no big deal . . . but I really do wish y’all would stop feeding this redundancy.

And Clint? Nicely put.


I’m not arguing that she doesn’t take over threads, or that i haven’t been ‘guilty’ of helping with that. I guess what i’m saying is it happens because people let it happen, and the responses are sometimes just plain overblown. Jillian is partially right, tho i, obviously, think she overreacts too, which i say with no knowledge of the whole history of all this. If jillian said ignore her then kept on doing her thing in a thread, it’d come a lot closer to working. Saying ignore her then leaving seems to be ineffective or even counterproductive.
And the fear of annie coming expressed in this thread made it inevitable she’d come.
I’ve had run-ins with frankly much worse trolls in other forums, and the only solution is to not acknowledge their existence in any way, shape, or form, not even by telling others to ignore. If you think she’s taking over a thread, reclaim it by talking about something besides her. Don’t yell at her or tell those engaging her not to, cause it only eggs her on.
And threads here die after a day or two. She’s being selfish today, i can’t argue that, but i’m not going to call myself a bad person for playing around at the bottom of a dead thread with her from time to time.


annie, your legs are overrated. Cankles.


I’m in absolute agreement with Smiling Mortician. I like Sadly, No because it’s a place to hang with smart funny people saying smart, funny and insightful things. When annie shows up, the discourse goes right down the toilet, and it’s like being in the den with the nine-year-olds. I can find better things to do, but I do regret the loss of a fun, interesting place on the t00bs. So when the idiot child shows up, I leave. I’d rather not, but I can’t stand what the threadz become when she’s here. So. It’s fucked up that she can take this away from me, but unless we can get an ignore script working (and I’m happy to work on it with y’all) there’s just not a lot I can do about it…



Out of 90 posts, 19 were by Annieangel.
28 were responses to her and/or about her.
This means that well over half of this thread was by and about Annie. (Actually, it seems like more. Much more.)

Please. Stop the madness.

Smiling Mortician

Hey, mikey. Happy Thanksgiving.

Wish I knew anything about programming — that ignore script sounds like a worthy endeavor.


Rather than donating cash, I prefer to give WarOnXmas gifts that can heal the suffering of the afflicted. Teach a man to fish…

Smiling Mortician

Haven’t read that one yet, islmfaoscist. Have you read The Battle for God? Another good read.


The fact that I am smarter than you all and actualy know what I’m talking about doesn’t make me a troll.

Jillian has admitted she doesn’t like me because of the attention I get from the boys. So high school.


That Dawkins books is the subject of a rave by our favorite “Party o’ death” author, Dinesh D’Souza. The regular right wing nutcase on my local community message board posted it.


D’Souza’s rebuttal posits the startling theory that the evils of the world are caused by Atheists. All those Crusades n’ stuff? Just an exageration. Religious persecution? Well, only 25 people were hung during the Salem Witch Trials, and that’s as bad as it got in the Americas.

Of course, he forgets to mention the Spanish Conquest, Native American genocide.

In Europe, all those wars were just about territory and, you know, who gets to be king.

Of course he forgets to mention the Reformation.

But as long as you don’t bother about the…er…facts and all, it’s a brilliant put-down of Dawkins.


I have just finished stuffing myself and my loved ones with a glazed ham, candied yams, whipped potatoes, and a super secret Southern recipe for green beans from my best friend’s great-grandmother. There’s some turkey non-fans around here, so we just skipped it alltogether. All in all, it wasn’t really missed.

Tomorrow, I’ll be turning some of the ham into split-pea soup and whipping up some of my wild mushroom risotto which is so damn good that I’ve seen people literally gasp the first time they put it in their mouths.

Just for the record, I am a goddess in the kitchen. 😉 I think I’m going to have to use my powers for evil by making enormously huge batches of HOLIDAY cookies and sending them to all and sundry, with big cards reading HAPPY HOLIDAYS. I’ve got this one cookie recipe that tastes like fresh Heath candy bars, warm from the oven…..think I could win any converts to godlessness with that?


Sounds delicious, Jillian.

We aren’t cooking; we’re going as guests in about a half hour.

Tomorrow we’re playing hosts, but the menu is going to be homemade pizza.

“I’ve got this one cookie recipe that tastes like fresh Heath candy bars, warm from the oven…..think I could win any converts to godlessness with that? ”

If I weren’t already godless, I bet it would work on me.


Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May your turkey be salmonella free.

Off to see if the new James Bond lives up to the high bar set by Timothy Dalton, and then to eat Chinese food because the housemates rebelled against my planned Spamurkey. I was gonna glaze it with cranberry jelly and everything…


Most of the adults in our family contributed something to the feast today. I made my dent with mashed potatoes and gravy. I use real butter and heavy cream for the T’giving taters, so I’m sure all our cholestrerol levels went up about 10 points apiece. Most everyone here has now gone down for the “turkey nap.”

Oh well, nothing else to do but watch some football. 38-10 Cowboys? Whoa! Romo’s en fuego!

herr doktor bimler

the problem with some of aa’s outbursts up-thread is that her shouting depletes the world’s limited supplies of capital letters. when they run out, we’ll all be writing like e.e. cummings. not that i mind.


The fact is that nothing makes the world more thankful than the phrase “motherfucking God.”

I forgot that God had a MILF list. Oh well, I’m sure it’s in the back of the bible somewhere.

herr doktor bimler

incidentally, gavin, is there any chance that you could photoshop that photograph of gibbons so that one of them is clutching a pen?

Another damned thick book! Always scribble, scribble, scribble! Eh, Mr. Gibbon?


I sponged off my brother, for the most part.

Mmm. Holiday food with no effort.

Oh, except for loads of HOLIDAY cookies!!


25 people, the surf crashing at the back door, many different dishes and recipes, laughter, a bunch of Gravity Creek Syrah, some scotch, the smell of the beach and laughter and peace all around. I’m now going for a walk on the beach and when I come back I’ll make a hot mulled cider on the back deck. It’s a bee yoo tee fool thanksgiving, and I’m glad you guys were with me. Slainte….



We ended up at Denny’s, and the new Bond has indeed lived up to Timothy Dalton’s legend. I suspect they hired him because he looks Sean Connery-ish in profile.

Incidentally, Brad thinks the white supremacists are funny and likes to bait them over here as well. If Sadly, No! were a boyband, Brad would be the mischievous one.


SM, Mikey, ITA. I drank too much wine to come here and deal with the boringness of AA. Now why am I drinking and then posting on the internet? well. At least at the computer it seems like you are doing “something”. Plus, I just read through Norton Anthology of English Literaute and Best English and American Poets, so I need to do something….

Also, The kd lang is already playing… . That is so 1992. I love it.


the new Bond

*sigh* that is a fine, fine specimen of a man.


Ah. Dinner on a hilltop high over Malibu, watching the sun go down and then watching to distant lights of traffic on PCH. Lots of great food, served on the lawn in a heated tent. Good talk, good wine. Talking with all the young kids back home from college, and missing ours, who is too far away to come home for Thanksgiving. Feels like 10 o’clock, but hey guess what it’s only 8:30……gotta get in the car and come home so we can take that “turkey nap”…..

Damned wonderful pie. Apple. With struesel topping.


The Mrs. and I did our usual “our families live less than 20 miles apart, so we’ll visit BOTH” holiday tradition. A lot of driving, and two-two-TWO stuffed-to-the-gills meals in one day.
We get along fine at her family (where we had the early meal) because everyone there is happily and proudly left-of-center to varying degrees. They’ve got issues, but you’ll sure never hear any of them talking about “those people”, or bemoaning “the Death of Chirstmas” (even though most of them (the wife and I excluded) are pretty solidly Christian.)

My family … well, let’s just say that we ended up bailing somewhat abruptly after dinner, as the talk turned to, among other things:
— How political correctness has made everybody so uptight, not like the “good old days” (when, I guess, flinging racial epithets around was No Big Deal.)
— Pretty much a verbatim reading of the Bill O’Reilly party line on said “Death of Christmas”.
— A parrotting of the Fox News/Focus on the Family talking points on this case. (Which, if you actually bother to read the document, is far more complex and nuanced. Unless you’re my family … or, likely, AA.)
(NOTE: if you actually do try to read the case, the PDF seems to die if you read in in your browser. Save it to your box, and read it using Adobe’s standalone reader.)

Worst. President. Ever.

And merry fucking Christmas to you, too, Rob W.


Y’know, I’ll betcha you could make your own preview button.

Why should I bother, when I’ve got the real preview button tied up in my attic?

Thanks Gibbons

If you guys get smacked by a chicken-wielding knight, well let’s just say I won’t be surprised.



Thanks to y’all at the site. I thought I’d been there and done that, then I came up here. I’m so glad I did. Y’all are terrific. And didn’t we do a number? Now we get to hold new feet to the fire. What fun!


6 guests, 6 desserts.

Conclusion: not enough dessert.


Greetings Gang!

Been a while, I know. But I’m still digesting and I thought I’d throw my two bits in.

My girlfriend, her neice, and I went to the T-Giving buffet at the Flamingo (here in fab Las Vegas). It was wonderful. Nothing says thanksgiving like all-you-can-stuff-down-your-throat crab legs, shrimp, and the usual vittles.

For the record (and I’m staring at you unnamed xtians), I’m doing my part to turn her neice into a freethinking, rational, mythology-free young woman. It seems to be working.

And yes, we still celebrate the pure unadulterated commercialism of christmas, even though we are not pagans.

(ignores AA)


I think Penguins are perfectly appropriate for Christmas. After all, they live at the North Pole just like Santa, and like the Baby Jesus, they are raised in beds of straw. Most penguins, like Mr. Christ, are born Jewish, too. Penguins also have the ability to walk on water (when it’s frozen) and like to eat fishes, which I believe Jesus and the Disciples (that’s the band he was in, it was quite big) enjoyed. In fact, before they formed the band, all those guys were fishers-men, except for Judas who was an accountant, and Paul, who was a gay hooker. It’s true, you can look it all up on Wikipedia, just give me about 15 minutes first.

Oh, pagans, not penguins. Sorry.


I wish I had Thanksgiving. I’m hungry. =(
Sounds like you all recovered from the trollish assault though. =D


Thanks Gibbons.


OK, maybe it’s because I came in on the short bus, or maybe it’s because I expect a somewhat more sophisticated level of humor and/or snark here, but that didn’t strike me until now.

Next thing you know, a little old man will be chasing a bunch of bikini clad women through the site while “Yakety Sax” plays.


Well, I grant you the new Bond is pretty cute, but he was the only person in the movie who could act, and that’s not exactly a compliment. Also, nice to see they’ve returned to the Fleming-borne misogyny of past movies. I miss Pierce Brosnan. And Robbie Coltrane. And Colin Salmon. And, dammit, Samantha Bond. I suppose I should just be grateful they kept Judi Dench.

Kathleen: The kd lang is one of the *least* lame things in my iTunes. I am not exactly an Insufferable Music Snob, most of my purchases having been made on the basis of “Will this give me a migraine?”


Another salvo in the War on Xmas.


Another day, another feast to prepare. We have good friends who will be leaving town to take a job in another city. So.. we asked, “Are you around this weekend?”

Answer: “Yes”

“Will you come to dinner?”

Answer: “Yes.” And “Both our grown kids are in town, and their spouses and one child. Oh, and some other house guests.”

Well, the more the merrier. We got off lucky yesterday, having only contriubted a bottle of wine to the big Malibu Thanksgiving Feast Under the Stars. So today we’re starting with the house cleaning, the dessert baking, the marinating of various meats in savory potions.



So let me get this straight…..you’re sending Christmas cards that say you’re killing Jesus, but youre too scared to send it in English?

After all, isn’t that more appropriate for Easter?


incidentally, gavin, is there any chance that you could photoshop that photograph of gibbons so that one of them is clutching a pen?

Another damned thick book! Always scribble, scribble, scribble! Eh, Mr. Gibbon?

OK, you got me. I lol’d. Greetings and leftover turkey nibbles to the lovely and lissome Mehitabel!

*digs through stuff on desk–dammit, I know there’s a preview button here SOMEWHERE*


Great. Now the html is broken, too. I’m pretty sure I did it right, too. Consider this a formal complaint to Teh Management!

Mehitabel the Abyssinian

Smart cat does not eat leftover turkey. Leftovers are for dogs. Smart cat catches her own food… usually slices of bread from the lawn next door. Drags them in through the cat-door to show the house apes. House apes are always impressed.


I liked the comment way up near the beginning of this about encouraging everyone to have sex on Christmas. That’s how my son was conceived – right under the tree, 13 years ago, at 8:30 on Christmas morning. Most expensive present I ever got.


Careful about those spruce needles. They can be itchy.


I hope I’m not too late with this comment – Jillian, any chance of getting a recipe for those cookies? I’ll trade you my mom’s baked cheese grits; a heart attack in a casserole dish, they are, and no lovelier way to go, if one must.


“Oh, crap. Now that I’ve said her name, she’s going to show up, isn’t she?”

Look into the mirror and repeat her name three time…


A Christmas To Remember, It’s In The Bible
By Marie Jon’

“Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
(Isa. 25:9)
“Christ’s birth was without worldly grandeur. He was born in a stable, cradled in a manger; yet his birth was honored far above any of the sons of men.
“Angels from heaven informed the shepherds of the advent of Jesus, while the light and glory from God accompanied their testimony.

“The heavenly host touched their harps and glorified God. They triumphantly heralded the advent of the Son of God to a fallen world to accomplish the work of redemption, and by his death bring peace, happiness, and everlasting life to man. God honored the advent of his Son. Angels worshiped him. “Angels of God hovered over the scene of his baptism, and the Holy Spirit descended in the shape of a dove, and lighted upon him, and as the people stood greatly amazed, with their eyes fastened upon him, the Father’s voice was heard from heaven, saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in thee I am well pleased.”The Great Controversy by E.G. White

It is time that all the nations look up to the heavens for answers to this world’s perplexing questions. These perilous days point to the Good News. The righteous people of God have already won the war between good and evil.

For you see, discussing the celebration of Christmas would be remiss without the completeness of Christ’s second entrance into this world. This will be the world’s finest and final event. �Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. (Isa. 25:9)
The precious blood of our loving Savior has already paid the price. The cost was not cheap. For those who will receive the free gift of salvation and restoration are wise to the utmost.

When Jesus spoke to His disciples, he promised that He would return. “Let not your heart be troubled. You are trusting God, now trust in Me. There are many homes up there where my Father lives and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly. And you know where I am going and how to get there.” (John 14:1-3)

Angels foretold Christ’s return and counseled the disciples. They watched our Savior depart from this earth. “It was not long afterwards that He rose into the sky and disappeared into a cloud, leaving them staring after Him. As they were straining their eyes for another glimpse, suddenly two white-robed men were standing there among them, and said, ‘Men of Galilee, why are you standing here staring at the sky? Jesus has gone away to heaven, and some day, just as He went, He will return!'” (Acts 1:10-11)

When you love someone, you will miss him or her if they go way. In turn, that special someone will miss you. The Father’s heart longingly awaits the day to bring his family home.” I will be their God, and they will be my people.â€? (2 Corinthians 6:16)

What did Christ say concerning how He would come again? “At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.” (Luke 21:27)

In God’s word there is no secret about His return. All who are alive shall see His second advent. “Look, He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him, even those who pierced Him; and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of Him.” (Rev 1:7)

Do you wonder what the people of this world will see and hear when He comes? “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.” (I Thessalonians 4:16-17.)

The Lord’s coming will be visible. “For as the lightening comes from the east and flashes to the west, so will be the coming of the Son of man.” (Matthew 24:27)

Christ gave warning to the church not to be deceived concerning His second coming. “At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ! or ‘There He is, do not believe it. For false Christ’s and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect, if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time. So if anyone tells you, ‘There He is, out in the desert,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here He is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it.” (Matthew 24:23-26)

Who knows the exact time of Christ’s coming? “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” (Matthew 24:36)

Learn what Christ tells us to do. Don’t procrastinate. . “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.” (Matthew 24:42)

God does not want us to be ignorant of anything concerning His word. There are special warnings that Christ has given that we might not be taken by surprise during this great event. “Watch out! Don’t let my sudden coming catch you unawares; don’t let me find you living in careless ease, carousing and drinking, and occupied with the problems of this life, like all the rest of the world. Keep a constant watch.” (Luke 21:34-36)

Have you ever wondered why Jesus is taking so long to return? It’s in the Bible. “A day or a thousand years from now is like tomorrow to the Lord. He isn’t really being slow about His promised return, even though it sometimes seems that way. But He is waiting, for the good reason that He is not willing that any should perish, and He is giving more time for sinners to repent.” (II Peter 3:8-9)

While Christians await Jesus, how should we live? The grace of God offers salvation to all men. His Word teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions. He wants us to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives, while we wait for the blessed hope and the glorious appearing of our great God.

What will this world be like when Jesus returns? “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.” (Matthew 24:37-39)

What will be Christ’s special reward when He comes the second time? “For the Son of Man is going to come in His Father’s glory with His angels, and then He will reward each person according to what he has done.” (Matthew 16:27) “Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.” (Revelation 22:12)

Do you understand why Jesus must come back? “So also Christ died only once as an offering for the sins of many people; and He will come again, but not to deal again with our sins. This time He will come bringing salvation to all those who are eagerly and patiently waiting for Him.” (Hebrews 9:28)

At Jesus’ second coming, we will fully understand the reality of our salvation. This, too is in the Bible. “Now you have every grace and blessing; every spiritual gift and power for doing His will are yours during this time of waiting for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. And He guarantees right up to the end that you will be counted free from all sin and guilt on that day when He returns.(I Corinthians 1:7-8)

Christ’s first advent into a sin-filled world is not a complete narrative, without full understanding of His second coming. Now, the fullness of Christmas has been presented, “Rejoice and be glad therein.” (Philipians 1:18) http://bible.cc/philippians/1-18.htm

May God richly bless you, my brothers and sisters. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Related Links:

Marie sends you a Christmas card

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and enter the following eCard Number, 4221014275647, on our eCard Pick Up Page.

Bible Gateway:


BibleGateway.com : A searchable online Bible in over 50 versions This site provides translations in English and other languages. English translations include the NIV,NIV-UK.and the Amplified.

The Church In Study

The Great Controversy–found in the Library of Congress http://books.google.com/books?q=The+Great+Controversy+The+Library+of+Congress&ots=mG_ZTi0YVz&sa=X&oi=print&ct=title

Marie Jon’ is a political and religious-based writer, and is the founder of http://www.DrawingClose.org — a sister website to RenewAmerica.us. Marie is a featured or guest writer whose work has appeared on many sites, including The New Media Journal, ChronWatch.com, Commonconservative.com, The Reality Check to name a few. She is a columnist for Capitolhillcoffeehouse.com, The Daley Times Post, RenewAmerica.us, The Conservative Voice, and Newsbull.com.

Marie brings a refreshing and spirited point of view that is reflected in her writings, as well as a genuine and spiritual opinion regarding God and his teachings. Marie is an active Christian, a nurse, a student, and a patriotic American.


This is awesome! The Coalition to Stop Christmas Commercialism will be there. And we will invite all to take the Christmas challenge at http://www.stopxmas.com. It includes giving to charity and volunteering for events like this one.



To add to that, I recommend buying everything on the list locally at an independent store, not Amazon or a chain.


Officious Pedant:
[quote]Christmas grew out of a pagan holiday. Kind of makes it hard to show how devout you are when you yell about hypocrisy regarding the celebration of your saviours death on a day stolen from a pagan belief system. Or not.

A link, to kick off your research, hammerhead [/quote]

You meant Jesus’ birthday, of course, but what the hell, it’s moot since both holidays as celebrated today are pagan in origin.

BTW, that article you linked to is full of misinformation, such as the statement that Wiccans are satan worshippers (how can you worship something you don’t even believe in?). I could go on but I don’t want to hog the page with a massive post. Though I suppose, since it would be about pagan god/desses it would fit the theme of “killing Christmas.” Anyway, the basic point, that the early Christian chuch adapted Pagan festivals to win converts, is the truth.

And I am just so tired of this “Christian persecution/war on Christmas” shit. Those people can put down anyone else they please as being “wrong” but heaven forbid (a figure of speech only) that anyone should disagree with them in the slightlest or try to present them with any criticism of anything they might do. Then it’s “You’re hateful, you hate Christians and Christianity!” No, I don’t hate Christians. I only hate that smug attitude of certain ones that they have a monopoly on the truth and are above reproach in all things so how dare anyone question them and not submit to their prosyletizing, and then they spew that whiny “we’re under attack” bullshit.

BTW, to me, “Happy Holidays” always INCLUDED Christmas, as well as New Year’s, as well as any other holiday anyone might choose to celebrate at this time of year. Trying to force everyone to say “Merry Christmas” is your own version of the PC that you ironically and hypocritically also whine about–it’s about thought control and telling people what they “have to” say. I may not agree with racial slurs, etc., but I also believe you can’t take away a person’s right to express themselves as they choose to, even if you don’t like it.

OK, I made this long after all by ranting 🙂

By the way, this thread is funny as fuck!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Have a cool Yule! (no Yule is NOT another word for Christmas, for those who don’t know.)


[…] donations to send him to CPAC. This is fortunate because I came here to warn everybody about the S,N! annual so-called charity drive to subsidize a huge Christmas party for homeless kids and their parents, with presents and a giant […]


[…] my subversive excursion and real needy people. If you have limited funds, let ‘em go to Christmas in the City; they’re genuinely deprived kids who can use your help, while I’m just a cheap yutz who […]


Santa was a pagan, psychedelic shaman, ex-viking (or something):

Midwest Common Sense

I have watched dumbfounded as America has been lulled into a coma by Bu$hCo’s sweet siren song of conspicuous consumption, which rests upon a foundation of resource-driven wars and occupations. During the long years of witnessing my fellow Americans being manipulated into accepting an absurd “war on terror”, I stood firm against the real threat, never veering from my lifelong commitment to fight the War on Kitsch. A series of poorly-planned and executed studies which were not subject to any form of peer review have unanimously concluded that a subject’s tendency to commit random acts of meaningless violence increases five-fold with even a single daily exposure to the insipid mind-pollution known as kitsch. Americans, we are in the throes of a public health emergency which will not abate until the Kitschmas season comes to a grinding halt in beautiful January. Remember, you are not alone…..our numbers are growing every day, and we will soon constitute a majority of Reason over Fear and Kitsch. Stay kitsch-free and strong, for our kids, our country, and our planet!


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