Nov
21
21
It’s Starting To Sound Like A Cry For Help
Orgasms For Peace
-AceAh, the left. So imaginative in their protests, which always seem to involve
1) Bad, distasteful nudity[*] of the sort of people who shouldn’t be permitted to be naked outside their own homes
2) Shocking (yawn) defiliation[**] of religious icons
3) Public sex[†] between people who shouldn’t be allowed to have sex even in their own homes
This episode of ‘Ah, the left’ earns Ace a C.C. DeVille Signature Edition Gibson Flying V. (Rock!)
Ace’s new logo: lookin’ sharp
* ?
** ??
† ??!?
Marita said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:13
Ahhh… my favorite from Ace’s post is this:
Anybody up for an Ace of Spades Wank For War at some point?
Honestly, how would that be different from any other day?
The Disgruntled Chemist said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:23
I think it needs one of those old-timey German army helmets next. That’d look sweet.
Xanthippas said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:40
I just thought this was a stupid idea, but now that I realize the left is behind it I’m going to be orgasming for peace all over the place.
tps12 said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:47
Oh man I’m defiliating the shit out of this one.
pablo said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:50
Defiliation? I don’t think that word means what you think it means Ace.
steve_e said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:53
I would have used the word “defamation.” It just sounds more American.
Maybe I missed it, but do these orgasmers abduct children too?
Marita said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:59
Maybe I missed it, but do these orgasmers abduct children too?
Only when those children are religious icons, steve_e. Maybe the plan includes widespread abduction of the Baby Jesus from those giant nativity scenes that people are wont to put in their yards.
His Grace said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:01
Personally I’d rather orgasm for peace rather than jerk off for war.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:02
Your first comment seems to have hit the mark, Marita.
celticgirl said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:03
Jeebus what a maroon…
Dorothy said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:08
Could he be after “desecration”? “To treat with sacrilege; profane.” (Defamation usually is done to people–at the very least, it requires a reputation: “false or unjustified injury of the good reputation of another, as by slander or libel”)
Oh, hey! Maybe he means “defilement”, the noun form of “defile” (def. 3: to make impure for ceremonial use; desecrate). I’d probably go for the gerund form “defiling”–it flows better (the l-m combination is hard to do when drunk or droolingly stupid, which is an important consideration for Ace’s readers, I imagine).
Either way, this seems to be yet another case of “But I spell-checked it! It must be right!” syndrome.
J— said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:14
Come on, Ace, you know you want to join the Global Orgasm. There’s even a Poison song you can sing while you stroke your Flying V:
I want action tonight
Satisfaction all night
Roxanne said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:23
Maybe he means defecation? I don’t swing that way, but what turns on the “wankfest for war” set is God’s own mystery.
Nancy in Detroit said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:31
I don’t see why December 22 should be different from any other day . . .
Nancy in Detroit said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:32
Oh, and I think it (the new logo) could use a biker bandana.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:43
I just like the fact that he assumed all the orgasming for peace would be solo . . . inadvertent oversharing there, Ace?
celticgirl said,
November 21, 2006 at 21:47
Nancy: I think the 22nd is the Winter Solstice – damn pagans, always lookin’ for an excuse to shag!
The Left said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:09
I’m upset at the pluralization of the Left. I am not a they, and I only defiliated (red underlines appear under that word) that statue of St. Francis of Assisi on a bet, and boy does my pelvis hurt. And now, the all-purpose excuse for your fucked-up Thanksgiving:
The Left burnt the gravy in the pan and now all we’ll have is dry turkey! The Left ruined the reception on my satellite dish moments before kickoff of the Dallas/Tampa Bay game! The Left got Uncle Ernie drunk and now he’s crying in the bathroom!
mikey said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:15
The left ate all the pie, drank all the Zinfandel and threw up all over mom’s white couch…
Just tryin to help here
mikey
Ron Mexico said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:17
Isn’t he violating the “English-only” laws in his town?
Ex-Fed said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:18
Maybe it’s supposed to be defenestration?
The Left said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:20
The Left tugged on Lisa’s “pioneer women” centerpiece until it flew into the fire, refused to apologize, then ran away and got Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter.
neil said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:25
Spellcheck is so great. “defilation, did you mean defiliation?” “I guess I must have!”
any mollusk said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:33
Wait. I get it now. Ace is just sublime parody of the right, he’s really a liberal that aspires to be like Teh Gen’rul.
g said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:44
Defiliatitiamatizing.
themann1086 said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:48
Yeah, my liberal-minded friends had a good laugh about this when we heard. Our response was generally “meh, that’s what I was going to be doing anyway!”
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:50
I think he meant defbrillation of religious icons, so they could come back to life and smite the fornicators of evil.
mdhatter said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:51
what protests?
oh, those one’s back in 1972… I see.
well ace, you entirely forgot 4) Jane Fonda
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 21, 2006 at 22:52
Yeah, I’ve also noticed that defiling religious icons is shocking. Next time I piss on the electric Mary statue (eyes light up when you pray!), I’ll turn off the power beforehand.
Cur said,
November 21, 2006 at 23:01
At a minimum, the next touch to the logo should be some skull fissures. The cranium seems too shiny and bright. I am more inclined to suggest a motorcycle rocketing out of the skull with a buxom blond adorned in a fur bikini riding it through the molten lava and flames.
Pinko Punko said,
November 21, 2006 at 23:03
I SIMPLY CANNOT FUNCTION ANYMORE WITHOUT THE CONSTANT UPDATING OF ACE’S LOGO.
This has simply become must watch appointment blogging. And I shall cease to perform my usual duties until these keep getting posted.
neil said,
November 21, 2006 at 23:11
I would read Ace’s blog if his logo were that good.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 21, 2006 at 23:15
Bad, distasteful nudity of the sort of people who shouldn’t be permitted to be naked outside their own homes
Is there a list somewhere of the people who should be permitted to be naked outside their own homes? I have some nominations for it.
Nancy in Detroit said,
November 21, 2006 at 23:21
Oh my god you people are so funny!
Kathleen said,
November 21, 2006 at 23:29
is it too much to put in a Pick of Destiny? I think Ace needs one.
Dorothy said,
November 22, 2006 at 0:43
Oh! Oh! Oh!
He must have meant “depilation”…cause Ace is sick of The Left removing all the hair from his religious icons.
Lesley said,
November 22, 2006 at 1:32
The next modification to Ace’s logo needs an arrow between the eyes, of the rubber variety.
Clif said,
November 22, 2006 at 2:19
I am still waiting for the animated gif skull. You *promised*!
Fresh said,
November 22, 2006 at 3:19
**Pushing up the ante, I know you’ve got to see me,
Read ‘em and weep, the dead man’s hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it’s gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades, the Ace of Spades!**
Can you replace the other sword with a Rickenbacker bass? That. Would. Be. Awesome.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
November 23, 2006 at 1:01
Peace? Peace? I’d like a Peace!
Why is the guitar not on fire?
Miss Emily said,
November 23, 2006 at 6:09
suggest a motorcycle rocketing out of the skull with a buxom blond adorned in a fur bikini riding it through the molten lava and flames.
I know, sweetie, but we just about can’t take you anywhere already.
Kathleen: is it too much to put in a Pick of Destiny? I think Ace needs one.
Did you mean the Pick-axe of Destiny? Or am I reading an entirely different…?