Incarceracism

I wonder if conservatives ever refuse to poop lest they notice that their shit is not white?

Michael Bargo Jr, American Feudalism:
Why Eric Holder needs Felons to Vote

Holy fucking squirrel balls do conservatives despise democracy.

Well, not the reputation of democracy. Much like with academic scholarship or science, wingnuts absolutely love exploiting the goodwill and regard given to democracy because of the battles won by liberals. They love pointing to freedoms of religious pluralism, the equality of representation, or the ability of the people to redress wrongs when they want to feel smugly superior to brown muslimy people living in some country we’ve actively destroyed for decades.

But actual democracy? It might as well be rocket anus for how quickly they’ll dodge out of the way and shield themselves.

At every point of our nation’s history, conservatives have fought tooth and nail against the notion that “certain” people count, whether as voters or people and those marginalized groups have had to get bloody and battered to simply access the very first stage of having a voice in this country.

And the reason for it is very simple. Conservatives are repulsed by the central ideology of democracy. That their voice as rich white men in society should be treated as equivalent as a black trans* lesbian. That their concerns should be treated as equally important as those who are considered the least in our society is something that makes them physically ill and it’s why voting rights and meaningful representation is something conservatives have tried to undermine at every turn for huge swaths of the population.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Niggers and spics having the right to vote is the worst form of voter fraud.

But still, it is “nice” when conservatives go out of their fucking way to show just how backwards and autocratic they can be.

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder recently stated that we must revisit the laws that ban convicted felons from voting.

Woot! About fucking time someone with a modicum of authority started thinking about almost maybe starting to tackle the obscenity that is felon disenfranchisement.

I mean, fuck, there is literally no defense for the way that some states remove such a basic human right as the right to vote as if it was a privilege one could and should lose for “misbehavior” and that one ceases to be a citizen the moment they smoke a joint or boost a car.

And it opens up all manner of abuses by the state in the form of eliminating the ability of the populations most affected by incarceration to have any say in improving their circumstances and can be used by shitty states to deliberately target minority communities for disenfranchisement by selectively enforcing enforcement of laws to target said communities.

And in fact, that’s just what we have seen. Racial minorities, poor queer populations, etc… all have laws selectively enforced against them or serve longer sentences for the same crimes and many states have used this loophole to create a permanent underclass of minority people who are legally barred from exercising their right to vote and be heard as citizens.

And that’s lead to a gross over-expansion of the prison-industrial complex, a huge increase in prison sentences for non-violent crimes such as drug crimes and a host of abuses so widespread that most jurisdictions will simply refuse to find middle-class and up white people guilty of any crime no matter the obviousness of their guilt because juries are uncomfortable subjecting “real people” to the abusive and rape-infested hell-hole that is most American prisons these days.

It’s something that hasn’t gotten near-enough attention and has needed to be solved for a very long time so it’s really awesome that Eric Holder has begun the very hesitant first steps to almost kinda sorta not really addressing it.

I mean, baby steps, right?

After all, it is depriving them of the opportunity to vote, and all votes must count.

Oh right, conservatives and their love of democracy.

Yeah, I’m just going to point out that he leaves this here, full of vim and sarcasm as a self-evident bad thing. Something he expects his nonagenarian audience of Klan rejects will clap like ninja seals to.

Oh, hiss, hiss, how dare people have a right to vote! That’s just eww.

Now, you might think, surely this must be the pinnacle of the horribleness. That it can’t get any worse, right?

… Yeah…. I like your optimism. Let me hold it for a second. I promise I won’t crush it.

While John Fund and Hans Von Spakovsky have extensively written on traditional sources of vote fraud,

*squish* ALWAYS TRUST THE SHORTER, MOTHERFUCKER!

Yeah, foolish liberals, thinking people have a right to vote, but you never realized that brown people shouldn’t count because FOUNDING FATHERS, BIATCHES!

the recent sources of vote fraud originate with the city, state, and county officials who violate Federal Immigration Laws.  Illegal immigration has become the biggest and most recent strategy used to win elections.

Sure, these spics may claim that they are “citizens” and may have supposed “documents” proving it such as the made-up foreigny commie cardboard that are “social security cards” and may supposedly “have had family living in this country before it was even a country” but that’s just how those damned eye-legals infiltrate our national lifeblood and make everyone love salsa music and tequila.

Cause the alternative to filthy brown hordes stealing our elections from us is that our tired bigotry is increasingly unwelcome in a modern society and we’ll literally buy any other piece of horse shit other than face up to that.

But Democrats still worry about keeping their minority voters, and the felon suffrage issue is the most recent effort, along with resisting voter I.D. laws, to game the ballot box.

Oh hey, was all that whining about “voter fraud” being just too damn subtle with the dog whistles? Well, hell, let’s just blare it out of a megaphone stapled to the strange fruit hanging off our plantation’s poplar trees how much we view non-whites as non-citizens and their votes as “theft” of our “natural rights”.

I mean, I figured with the revitalization of more and more obvious attacks against the notion of participatory republics it was only a matter of time before we got to here, but it’s still somewhat of a shock to see these fuckers not even attempting to hide their contempt of the notion that black people are voting and no one is stopping them with fire hoses and dogs.

But okay, you’ve set up this world of evil machinations to let brown people vote. But how does the eighteen-handed conspiracy work?

Eric Holder is a Democrat and supports the Democratic Party.

Uh huh. So we have people existing and not being a tribe member. I can see why you’re mad already. But how does that lead to the fluoridation of our mind-control helmets?

Just as Lois Lerner sought to suppress the tax-exempt status of conservative political groups to enable Democrats to gain an advantage in the 2012 election, Eric Holder’s statement was crafted to help his party win future elections.

Oh, of course! Speaking out in favor of citizens having the right to vote is part of an evil conspiracy to convince otherwise conservative god-fearing black men to jump on Team Democratic Party out of some misguided belief that conservatives are somehow racists attacking the very right of non-white people to vote.

Ha, it all makes sense. No wonder you are forced, forced I say, to repress the right of those filthy black bastards to vote.

There are two major minority groups, blacks and Hispanics.

I almost have to admire the pluck of a farcically obvious racist trying to play academic as they try and craft some sort of lofty intelligent sounding statement to surround what is in essence, make dem niggers go away.

It’s like watching a dying fish trying to breathe the poison filled waters of an estuary downriver from a fracking operation.

While blacks have lived in urban areas for 100 years, the Hispanic population has grown only recently.

… Is it just me or is Clayton P. Sisterfucker here about three sentences away from arguing that Democrats are magically making latin@s pop into existence entirely to make Republicans sure fire strategy of exploiting white racism look short-sighted and demographically doomed? Cause at this point, I’m pretty well convinced that there is no bottom.

And just as Democrats have successfully wrapped up the black vote, they have brought in Hispanics – primarily through illegal immigration — as another minority group to become part of the minority voting base they feel is essential to winning national elections.

My word, I know you are a learned gentleman, but I fear a base misconception has unintentionally skewed your conclusions. It seems that you do not understand even the basic principles of this “illegal immigration” of which you spoke and this slight error has skewed the whole set ever so slightly.

I pray your forgiveness for this intrusion, but seeing as how you are a learned man of letters, I trust you would not have wanted your work marred by errors that may, just may, make you look like a senile old racist who has so thoroughly slipped into his own anus in his use of dog whistles that he’s looped all the way back to obvious again.

You know… for example.

The majority of blacks live in big cities controlled by Democratic politicians largely black Democratic politicians. This, Democrats say, is necessary since only a black can faithfully understand the needs of African-Americans.

… Well, we can apparently add voting to the list of things that Mikey Wikey here does not understand, alongside immigration and how to poop in the bowl, because at this point I’m honestly not sure that I’m not reading the work of a particularly bright toddler.

I mean, I know I noted that conservatives, being autocratic at heart, hate democracy, but I wasn’t actually expecting our wingnut du jour to actually not have the first inclination of a clue as to how democracy is ostensibly supposed to work. I mean, holy fuck, he seems to think that elected officials come to existence through black magic. No wonder he is baffled by the notion of people voting.

But it’s a tragic fact that as soon as blacks moved North they were confined to black-only ghetto neighborhoods in the big cities of the North.

Black people are responsible for segregation? Why not. Sure, let’s just roll with it. Any other white supremacist talking points you want to fit in here before we finish?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. called this practice “plantation politics.”

Yup, co-opting MLK to support the people who cheered when he was shot. Check. What else?

While the Civil Rights Movement for blacks started in the 1950s, by the year 2000 not much had improved: the 2000 Census revealed that 90% of the blacks in the City of Chicago would have to move in order for the city to be truly integrated.

Okay, we got Civil Rights did nothing because racism still exists. With a bonus for erasing the legacy of white flight and suburban sprawl in resisting integration efforts in order to blame blacks for everything. Hmm, it’s strong, but it needs more tribalism and obviousness.

Clearly, Democratic Political leadership in the U.S. has no desire to improve the educational opportunities for blacks.

Ah, a blacks are inherently ignorant combined with a black people should be groveling to the racist party because Democrats secretly don’t care bullshit tactic. Masterfully done!

But what about that whole prison thing that clearly has nothing to do with race, even though thinking about the notion of felons voting lead you to engage in an extended racist rant? How does this fit into the intricately embroidered cross on your pointy hat?

Since so many now go to prison -– in 2001 22% of all black American men age 35-44 had gone to prison, and the Dept. of Justice estimated that at the rates of 2001 one-third of all black men and one in six Hispanic men would be incarcerated in their lifetimes, Eric Holder must fight to allow them to vote.

Yes. Apparently.

Because it seems that a huge portion of our population seems to have taken leave of our Bob-damned senses and seems to have forgotten that a criminal does not cease to be a citizen of these United States when they commit a crime, no matter what and should be extended the basic human rights that so many have fought and died for instead of being erased in order to prolong the death spasms of the Republican Party.

And if we’re so broken as a country that we’ve forgotten that those in prison are human beings and fellow Americans, then damn right our Justice Department should stand up and fight for the right of those who’ve been unfairly silenced to be heard and have the same right as everyone to participate in the very first level of our democracy.

It’s time for this Jim Crow bullshit to end. And if that makes the people running the scam have a sad, then well, kindly, they can Argo fuck themselves.

In 1970 the Hispanic population of the U.S. was so low that a category titled “Hispanic” did not appear on the Census Bureau form.  After the first official Sanctuary Policy Executive Order was issued in Chicago in 1985, the illegal Hispanic population exploded.  Today there are nearly as many Hispanics in prison for murder as whites even though Hispanics are only 14% of the U.S. population and whites are 70%.

Hispanics now share with blacks the same tragic socio-economic environment.  Consequently they suffer a high school dropout rate that is double that of blacks, and a single teenage motherhood rate slightly higher than blacks.  The result is high unemployment.

Hispanics are now becoming felons at record rates.  The majority of Hispanics in the Federal Court system have been convicted of one of two crimes: immigration violations and drug offenses.  Both crimes are created by the Democratic Party’s strategy of encouraging them to enter the U. S. in violation of the 1996 Immigration Act.  Most (92%) immigration offenders were Hispanic in 2010.

While the two minority groups combined make up only 25% of the U.S. population in 2011 they were of 63% of the sentenced prisoners in State and Federal prisons.

Hispanics are entrapped by the benefits of big cities just as blacks were 100 years ago.

And…?

I mean, okay, dog whistle about all latin@s being criminals in order to justify demonization efforts, dehumanization campaigns, and violent attacks against them. Yes, I get that. But what’s the fucking point?

I mean, you are supposedly trying to argue that felons, despite the arguments of Eric Holder, are not citizens and should not be given the right to vote and instead we get this random rant about how all brown people are criminals and…

Oh yeah, that is the point. The whole “criminal” thing and the increased enforcement of laws against brown people was a convenient way to disenfranchise the group of people you’ve been battling the enfranchisement of for our entire nation’s history and you’re spitting mad that the scam has been rumbled.

And you’re worried that we as a society might finally be at the point of no longer standing idly by as specific laws such as drug charges or immigration are used as a cudgel to create a mythology about “criminals” and the dehumanization that carries. That people may finally be tired of the Drug War racist bullshit and might just end that “Law and Order scam” once and for all.

Well, I’m terribly sorry, but fuckevouz du.

Since so many become involved in crime, the only way for Democrats to keep their votes is to change the laws,

Oh, hey, there’s the argument. Democrats are trying to change the law back after Republicans pulled a fast one to disenfranchise populations that historically don’t vote for them, which makes them the real law-breaking fascists.

Well, that’s certainly not stupid.

just as they changed Immigration law,

Well, why not. Let’s just assume that the notion of Congress is a law-breaking scam too. Why not? I mean, ol’ Mike has his pocket copy of Glenn Beck’s Constitution so he don’ need to understand no silly concepts like how elections work.

Also, white men like him clearly are the only people qualified to vote.

the citizenship requirement for drivers licenses,

Are you talking about when all the confederate leaning states tried to pass voter ID laws based on driver’s licenses and some meany-poopoo-head liberals pointed out that driver’s licenses aren’t actually a good measure of citizenship seeing as how there are registered and legal voters who don’t have one and non-citizens who do and trying to twist it to claim that secret eye-legals are stealing all your elections?

Cause if so, I have concerns that one dump truck is not going to be enough for all this crazy.

and other benefits.

Well as long as we’re avoiding being vague about these heinous crimes that surely exist…

President Obama has shown no reluctance to pick and choose which laws he will and will not obey, as shown by his tweaking of ObamaCare, just as Chicago’s Mayors did not hesitate to violate Federal laws when they created a Sanctuary City out of Chicago.

And we end with another reflexive racist rant just in case it wasn’t painfully obvious that the disenfranchisement of felons is an intentionally racist set of laws.

Look, I get that people who are not in prison get awkward about standing up for the rights of people who, by the conclusion of our society, “have done something wrong”, but fundamental rights are important to the illusion that we are in any way different from the puppet states we prop up around the globe.

And frankly, not being in prison is one of those things that turn out to be one of those “but for the grace of Bob” sort of things anyways. I mean, we can praise ourselves for avoiding the obvious, the murders or the thefts, but what about the victimless stupid law transgressions? Lighting up a joint? Sharing a prescription with a friend who didn’t have health insurance? Not reporting an undocumented buddy? All the little silly laws circulating in the books. Many of us, with a different bounce or a different shade of skin could have been rendered an un-citizen for something we rarely even think of as worthy of commentary.

All citizens deserve the right to vote. As a human right.

The fact that it makes conservative racists cry is a happy bonus.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Voting like a felon. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 136

 
 
 

First?

I mean, holy fuck, he seems to think that elected officials come to existence through black magic. 

ISWYDT.

And, yeah, it’s interesting how conservatives are really obviously against these whole “democracy” and “US Constitution” things in practice while worshipping the words.

 
 

Does he even know that most hispanics in the US were born here? It’s an all time low of 60/40. And that nearly all are here legally?

Yeesh, these guys are so innumerate.

 
 

You know, Dark Nymjacker of Time, most modern web browsers display the URL of a hyperlink when the user maneuvers eir cursor over that link. So I can see that, y’know, you’re linking to a Hot Air post and figure out that you’re not the real DA because he has a different URL and, even if he didn’t, he wouldn’t link directly to Hot Air because he’s not completely effing decerebrate.

 
 

In 1970 the Hispanic population of the U.S. was so low that a category titled “Hispanic” did not appear on the Census Bureau form.

FWIW, they did have a random sample questionnaire in 1970, one question being:
b. Is this person’s origin or descent…

Mexican
Puerto Rican
Cuban
Central or South American
Other Spanish
None of These

“Mexican” had been on the 1930 census, but most years Hispanics just got marked “White” or “Indian.” You certainly can’t draw ANY conclusions about the numbers from any census in which it wasn’t specifically asked about. Unless you’re an idiot, that is.

 
 

Every adult should have the right to vote. Including prisoners and ex-convicts.

The problem with democracy is too few voters, not too many.

 
 

Maybe if prisoners and ex-cons could vote, they would vote out the insane prison-industrial complex.

Getting rid of SHITE like this would be an excellent first step.

http://jonathanturley.org/2013/04/07/the-rise-of-debtors-prisons-in-the-us/

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Then there’s the Jews are the cause of all the problems in the world.

Another of his smash hits,

“If you understand anything about Islam, there are subliminal messages,” Boykin can be heard saying. “His [Obama] message, really, I believe was, ‘I understand you[al-Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood,], and I support you.’”

 
 

American Thinker is surreal. I just read this and find myself puzzled. How are these issues important enough to write about today, 03/08/2014?

Thanks to Obama’s “biographers” and a grossly incompetent media, the full implications of Barack Obama’s parents’ “in name only” marriage will likely never be known.

So what? I wondered, but then I realized the author’s point. You may notice a profusion of scare quotes mixed with quotes from books etc. Confusing, huh? The last set of scare quotes is the key.

Yes, Ann Dunham sadly “passed away” in November 1995, just a few months after Dreams was published and Obama began his political career.

See, Barack killed his mother in order to keep awful secrets that would have ruined him politically. We’ll never know. The AT author, for example, can’t even be sure how his mom’s GPA was calculated!

 
 

Oh, for crying out loud! Really?

Then there’s the Jews are the cause of all the problems in the world.

and, again, REALLY?

American Thinker is surreal. I just read this and find myself puzzled. How are these issues important enough to write about today, 03/08/2014?

Couldn’t these sad sacks just get together and form their version of the SCA, maybe at that scam citadel site we were all dissecting a while back, and let the rest of us go on with our 21st century lives?

 
 

Then there’s the Jews are the cause of all the problems in the world.

Is this a new rightwing talking point? The other day, Michele Bachmann was blaming election losses on Jewish voters putting their allegiance to the US ahead of their allegiance to Israel. “Misguidedly loyal Jewish Americans” are on their way to becoming the new ACORN.

 
 

In 1970 the Hispanic population of the U.S. was so low that a category titled “Hispanic” did not appear on the Census Bureau form.

Just think, 40 years ago, Americans with Spanish ancestors were still considered ‘White’.

 
 

The other day, Michele Bachmann was blaming election losses on Jewish voters putting their allegiance to the US ahead of their allegiance to Israel.

And the thundering silence on the part of the corporate media wrt a sitting US Senator complaining about US voters putting the interests of the US ahead of another country says it all.

 
 

Is this a new rightwing talking point? The other day, Michele Bachmann was blaming election losses on Jewish voters putting their allegiance to the US ahead of their allegiance to Israel. “Misguidedly loyal Jewish Americans” are on their way to becoming the new ACORN.

Every four years, conservative publications feature scads of articles about losing the Jewish vote to the Democrats. When the next crop of these surfaces in 2016, Boykin won’t be mentioned at all.

And the thundering silence on the part of the corporate media wrt a sitting US Senator complaining about US voters putting the interests of the US ahead of another country says it all.

The really amazing thing is that they don’t even want to serve the interests of Israel, they want to serve the needs of the right-wing Likud party and the Evangelical fundamentalist end-timers who need conflict in the Holy Land to set off their eschatalogical fantasy.

 
 

VCarlson, Bachmann is a House member, not a Senator. Don’t make life worse.

 
 

VCarlson, Bachmann is a House member, not a Senator. Don’t make life worse.

Oh, duh. Sitting US Member of Congress, then.

 
 

The really amazing thing is that they don’t even want to serve the interests of Israel, they want to serve the needs of the right-wing Likud party

Exactly.

If criticizing Likud policies is anti-Semitic then half the Knesset is anti-Semitic.

 
 

VC, I like the idea of the conservative SCA. But where will they find all those volunteers to fetch them juleps and tap-dance?

 
 

But where will they find all those volunteers to fetch them juleps and tap-dance?

Maybe they could get ’em from the same place they get their votes – people misguided enough to think they’ll ever get a place at the table. That’s a little cold, though, since some people are just suffering from ignorance. A bit of research into robotics and holographics might answer.

 
 

A bit lighter than Bargo, Jr. but Quin Hillyer’s NRO gay mania piece is amusing. The gays are causing Hillyer a heap of trouble . . .

“It’s not enough, apparently, that they appropriated the perfectly wonderful word “gay” so that its original meaning is lost to the ages.”

“Despite being projected as merely a fourth- or fifth-round pick, Sam topped sportscasts nationwide last weekend while projected first-round picks were entirely ignored.”

” . . . that’s not what we have seen from the garish spectacle of figure-skating announcer Johnny Weir. His antics are appalling. The problem is not that he’s homosexual; it’s that he advertises his sexuality to the extent that it makes him (his choice of makeup, jewelry, and extravagant dresses or furs) . . . ”

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/371799/enough-gay-mania-quin-hillyer

 
 

And the thundering silence on the part of the corporate media wrt a sitting US [representative] complaining about US voters putting the interests of the US ahead of another country says it all.

I was trying to imagine the equivalent. “Everyone knows that catholic voters are loyal to the Pope first and to the US only second… so to win their votes, we promised to work for the Vatican’s interests in any situation where these came into conflict with US interests… but they went ahead and voted for our opponents anyway! The traitors!”

 
 

“It’s not enough, apparently, that they appropriated the perfectly wonderful word “gay” so that its original meaning is lost to the ages.”

Relevant. Also.

 
 

But the point of the book Green Eggs and Ham is the guy who says he won’t eat green eggs and ham tries them and loves it. Will Palin become an Obot now?

 
 

I was trying to imagine the equivalent. “Everyone knows that catholic voters are loyal to the Pope first and to the US only second… so to win their votes, we promised to work for the Vatican’s interests in any situation where these came into conflict with US interests… but they went ahead and voted for our opponents anyway! The traitors!”

I believe that when JFK was running in 1960, he had to explicitly say he would not be taking his political orders from the Pope.

 
 

In addition to missing the point of Green Eggs and Ham, while there are several Obama-specific references (like the beginning and end, which I’m not including), there are others which are not:

I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their crony deals.

Every Congress since … forever

I do not like this spying, man,

Bush II

I do not like, ‘Oh, Yes we can.’

Obama

I do not like this spending spree,
we’re smart, we know there’s nothing free.

Bush II – any other R president in the past 50 years or so. And no you aren’t, and no you don’t.

I do not like reporters’ smug replies
when I complain about their lies.

Reagan

 
 

Suck on this, wingnuts!

Mythopedia—- the online encyclopedia of rightwing bullshit!

http://mythopedia.mediamatters.org

 
 

Sarah Palin reads ‘Green Eggs and Ham’

It’s like Flowers For Algernon but without the smart part in the middle.

 
 

Gotta say, the Snowbillie certainly found the intellectual level of her audience.

Next: The subtle socialist messages in Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Maybe they could get ‘em from the same place they get their votes – people misguided enough to think they’ll ever get a place at the table.

Third place finisher in the CPAC straw poll, Dr. Ben “”Of course, gay people should get the same rights as everyone else but they don’t get extra rights. They don’t get to redefine marriage.” Carson.

“He has to win,” says Helena Ciaramilla, who got her picture snapped with Carson at a book signing. Ciaramilla was passing out bumper stickers that said, “Run Ben Run.”

“He’s our destiny,” she said. “He’s the only man who can unite this country.

 
 

Ciaramilla was passing out bumper stickers that said, “Run Ben Run.”

Woah there, lady. Republicans aren’t ready for something as sophisticated as “Dick and Jane”; they’re still struggling with Dr. Seuss. What are you, some kind of elitist?

 
 

I wouldn’t be sleep either if I’d voted for George W. Bush twice, Dennis.

 
 

For the first time on here I’m at a loss for words.

And yet the entire oeuvre of Dr. Seuss is available to you.

That’s literally the intellectual level of your party, kid, reciting kindergarten books as political dogma. Have a smiley-face sticker.

 
 

Is Sarah Palin going to run for anything ever again? Seriously? She passed on the Senate. She raised a shitload of money doing that 2012 tease but you can only do that once.

Sooner or later she’ll have to pull the trigger and run for something. I think she’s afraid because ever since 2008, she and her supporters have been able to claim with at least some plausibility that the loss in 2008 wasn’t her fault (McCain ran an unfocused campaign, Obama had unstoppable momentum, etc.). If she goes up against anyone one-on-one and loses, though, that’s all on her.

 
 

Palin isn’t the first wingnut to fail a self-imposed reading comprehension test involving Suess’s GEaH. I guess this is what Michelle Bachmann meant when she said conservatism is primarily an intellectual movement.

 
 

If by intellectual movement, she meant bowel movement, then yes, I’d say Ms. Bachmann is correct.

 
 

If by intellectual movement, she meant bowel movement, then yes, I’d say Ms. Bachmann is correct.

But bowel movements are necessary. I do not believe a party that celebrates the most retrograde parts of society is necessary. What is necessary is at least two sane political parties, not what we have – the batshit insane retrograde party and a party that has increasingly defined itself as the “well, at least we’re not as bad as those guys” party.

 
 

Mayor of LEAFS SUCK is now the Billy Pilgrim of our century:

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is being roundly mocked on Twitter for a tweet that went out under his name that mistakenly advised people to set their clocks back an hour back instead of forward for daylight savings time.

“Rob Ford: the mayor who won’t even follow the dimensional rules of time,” Toronto sports writer Bruce Arthur tweeted in one response to the gaffe.

 
 

What I made for brunch today. Bacon from tails and trotters. Challah French toast with blueberry sauce. Over easy eggs. Deeeeelicious.
http://imgur.com/iwgWO3u

 
 

rotundly mocked

Even better.

 
 

Is Sarah Palin going to run for anything ever again? Seriously? She passed on the Senate. She raised a shitload of money doing that 2012 tease but you can only do that once.

There is a core group of Palin supporters who will keep allowing themselves to get fleeced. She’ll be able to turn on the spigot again and again until her looks finally go.

 
 

That’s literally the intellectual level of your party, kid, reciting kindergarten books as political dogma.

Even better, misinterpreting kindergarten books!

 
 

Topical blogwhore/post of hate.

Damn, paleo, just damn…

 
 

Oh yeah, that is the point. The whole “criminal” thing and the increased enforcement of laws against brown people was a convenient way to disenfranchise the group of people you’ve been battling the enfranchisement of for our entire nation’s history and you’re spitting mad that the scam has been rumbled.

Yeah, I love that part.

Pass laws more ridiculous than Prohibition condemning people to life imprisonment for nonviolent drug offenses.

Apply those laws with egregious disproportion so that poor inner city residents end up being the only ones affected, and virtually every white middle class suburban kid (God knows that population isn’t any shyer about lighting a joint) gets a free pass.

And then, when someone points out that you’ve been using it as the next-best-thing to the pre-1964 poll taxes and that maybe, just maybe, if racism is over like Sarah Palin assures me it is, we should quit doing that, be shocked that anyone could ever impugn your motives.

 
 

And then, when someone points out that you’ve been using it as the next-best-thing to the pre-1964 poll taxes and that maybe, just maybe, if racism is over like Sarah Palin assures me it is, we should quit doing that, be shocked that anyone could ever impugn your motives.

Pretty much that, I think. Though I’d argue they think it’s better than the pre-1964 poll taxes, what with having the blessing of the Supremes for the voter suppression schemes, and the ability to make a buck with the prison-industrial complex.

 
 

Maybe they suck because they don’t pick very good players for their team:

Using a panel of NHL scouts, The Hockey News ranks the Maple Leafs prospects 29th out of 30 teams.

http://www.cbc.ca/sports-content/hockey/opinion/2014/03/maple-leafs-prospects-low-in-rankings.html

 
 

And once again a quick history lesson. There were no Hispanics listed on the 1970 census because Hispanic had not been created as a category until around that time. Prior to that Hispanic leaders felt it was more advantageous to be considered “white.”
Only as civil right laws protected non-whites, and new Hispanic leaders emerged, did the community choose to become more visible in government reports.
I have no idea why, except for the usual inability to drop anything, they imagine that the Sanctuary movement in the 1980s (led by many Catholic churches, guess they were the wrong kind) was what brought the Hispanic population to the U.S.
I know they’re cultural illiterates, but seriously guys “West Side Story?” Way, way before 1985.

 
 

I know they’re cultural illiterates

But some of them know what the blue line in hockey is, which is much, much, more important to know than the history of Hispanics in this country.

 
 

“It’s not enough, apparently, that they appropriated the perfectly wonderful word ‘gay’ so that its original meaning is lost to the ages.”–Quin Hillyer

That really was the last straw, wasn’t it?…

Ya know tho, words can have more than one meaning. Normally that’d take care of this issue, but one of the meanings of “gay” is super-bad! The safest thing is for conservatives not to use it altogether. But that’s how they lost control of it!… What they need to do is reappropriate “gay” by using it on a massive scale. They need to be unafraid of mix-ups during the transition. Ready to explain, no, I meant “happy,” not that you’d have to do much of that. (I don’t recall many such explanations in my lifetime — “Who, Tom? Seems like a flaming homosexual? Yes, he’s gay, and I don’t mean happy.”)

Point being, conservatives don’t get how this works and/or are too cowardly to follow through. It’s like they don’t really care!

 
 

DA: I thought you intended to refrain from feeding or provoking the creature under the bridge. B-i-g lapse in this thread….

Also just out of curiousity, does anyone know how old the creature is?

 
 

I know they’re cultural illiterates, but seriously guys “West Side Story?” Way, way before 1985.

Of course, Maria in “West Side Story” was a Puerto Rican character, therefore she would have been a U.S. citizen even if she were living in Ponce.

My usual go-to quip about Hispanic immigration is that ” El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula” (LA) is not an English name. Nor is Albuquerque, or El Paso, or… you get my drift.

 
 

My usual go-to quip about Hispanic immigration is that ” El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula” (LA) is not an English name. Nor is Albuquerque, or El Paso, or… you get my drift.

And while St Augustine is English, it’s an anglicization of the city’s original name. With a founding in September 1565, it’s also the oldest european-founded city in the US, founded 52-55 (depending how you’re counting) years before Jamestown.

 
 

My usual go-to quip about Hispanic immigration, when faced with someone who is against it, is “Fuck off, you bigoted asshole.” But then, I’m getting older and crankier.

 
 

My usual go-to quip about Hispanic immigration is that ” El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula” (LA) is not an English name. Nor is Albuquerque, or El Paso, or… you get my drift.

I think they were all renamed under Carter to appease the sudden massive influx of Spanish-speaking people into California and Texas and New Mexico and Colorado.

 
 

Santa Fe goes back to 1610 I think. It’s the oldest capital in the country.

 
 

My usual go-to quip about Hispanic immigration, when faced with someone who is against it, is “Fuck off, you bigoted asshole.” But then, I’m getting older and crankier.

That’s pretty close to mine. In more polite company (aside from the asshole ranting about Mexicans), I usually laugh and say, “whatever, man”.

 
 

okay, at first i thought this:
Kirk Cameron is excellent in the movie. It is not that he just stands out among all the actors, but he makes Caleb real. The movie is so sophisticated as to have a product shot of Chick-Fil-A and a well-written song as a respite during one of the movie’s most poignant moments.

was the funniest/absurd thing i read today…but then i came across this:

no human nudity but the cartoon animals are not dressed;

 
 

And then, when someone points out that you’ve been using it as the next-best-thing to the pre-1964 poll taxes and that maybe, just maybe, if racism is over like Sarah Palin assures me it is, we should quit doing that, be shocked that anyone could ever impugn your motives.

Chris does good, as usual. And I was glad to see Cerb write on this topic, and felt there was not much to add.

It all seems so transparent, nowadays, but of course the pieces weren’t always in place for me. I was very young when I understood that the war on drugs wasn’t working in terms of its stated goals (the legal system as a whole not faring much better in this regard). Then for awhile I did not understand these systems as means of social control, quite successful at that.

The same principle applies across the board, from guns to schools. It’s not as if we don’t know how to educate children much better than this. Equal access to secular public schools, using methods and staff and resources available to us right now, could accomplish wonders; but this absolutely must not happen, so we have nonsense battles over teachers’ unions and charter schools and prayer in schools. Because a better legal system and better schools etc. would lead to a very different society, one antithetical to the right and the oligarchs.

 
 

no human nudity but the cartoon animals are not dressed

This reminded me of a “Saturday TV Funhouse” cartoon on SNL called (thx internet) “The Anatominals” which was fuckin’ funny. Can’t find it online here at work.

 
 

LOL @ CPAC.

“Does the U.S. Congress Matter Anymore? Executive Orders AND the Hopelessness of EVER Curtailing Federal Spending”
“IRS Targeting Scandal: Protecting the Voice of the People, Sponsored by Tea Party Patriots”

“Healthcare After ObamaCare: A Practical Guide for Living When No One Has Insurance and America Runs Out of Doctors (Part 1)”

“What’s the Deal with Global Warming?”

“Rocky Mountain High: Does Legalized Pot Mean Society’s Going Up In Smoke?”

“When the Fed Stops Building and the Mint Stops Printing: Rebuilding the American Economy After a Real Crash”

“Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny,” sponsored by Citizens United and presented by Newt Gingrich

“The Andrew Breitbart Defender of the First Amendment Award Sponsored by Citizens United”

 
 

Rocky Mountain High: Does Legalized Pot Mean Society’s Going Up In Smoke?

You can buy this and other fine branded products, so I guess that’s a yes

 
 

Healthcare After ObamaCare: A Practical Guide for Living When No One Has Insurance and America Runs Out of Doctors (Part 1)

Part 2: A practical guide for living when you said stupid shit would happen, and then it didn’t, and libtards will not conveniently forget, or stop mocking you

 
 

What’s the Deal with Global Warming?

… a panel led by Jerry Sienfeld?

 
 

… a panel led by Jerry Sienfeld?

Presumably. Next we’ll cover airline food and dentists’ waiting rooms.

 
 

Choice comment over at Gin and Tacos:

Q: What’s the difference between the Gathering of the Juggalos and CPAC?

A: One features legions of emotionally-stunted suburbanites grasping their 128 Big Fuck sodas while listening to vapid assclowns shouting nonsensical stories involving double shots of violence, racism, and misogyny. The other is a get-together about a band.

Gin and Tacos

 
 

Major Kong said,
March 11, 2014 at 2:07

Neither group understands how magnets work, however.

 
 

It all seems so transparent, nowadays, but of course the pieces weren’t always in place for me. I was very young when I understood that the war on drugs wasn’t working in terms of its stated goals (the legal system as a whole not faring much better in this regard). Then for awhile I did not understand these systems as means of social control, quite successful at that.

The same principle applies across the board, from guns to schools. It’s not as if we don’t know how to educate children much better than this. Equal access to secular public schools, using methods and staff and resources available to us right now, could accomplish wonders; but this absolutely must not happen, so we have nonsense battles over teachers’ unions and charter schools and prayer in schools. Because a better legal system and better schools etc. would lead to a very different society, one antithetical to the right and the oligarchs.

Who was it who said “government is a conspiracy against the people?” The sentence needs a lot of caveats and footnotes, but there’s something to be said for the basic sentiment – certainly here and now.

 
 

Just as Lois Lerner sought to suppress the tax-exempt status of conservative political groups to enable Democrats to gain an advantage in the 2012 election

Serious question: anybody know what we’re supposed to DO with these lunatics once their support ages out of the population? Thirty years from now, we’ll have 30ish% of the country that literally believe an entirely false history – people who’ve spent their entire lives mainlining misogyny, homophobia, racial hatred and delusions of persecution. Will we have rest homes where the bubble can be maintained?

 
 

I hate to admit it, DA, but for the second time since I started watching him beclown himself in this space, Pennis actually manages to be right about something. (File under “even a stopped pig finds two acorns a day.”) Using a different name doesn’t disguise your identity if the name links to the same URL you usually use; it even complicates claims of nymjacking (not that it rules them out, it just makes them harder to believe.)

 
 

Who gives a shit what you think, you sociopathic fartbreath?

golf clap….

 
 

ugh…nothing like waking up to the smell of troll farts…not the way to start out the day…

 
 

“Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny,” sponsored by Citizens United and presented by Newt Gingrich

i would love to see this one…

 
 

Serious question: anybody know what we’re supposed to DO with these lunatics once their support ages out of the population? Thirty years from now, we’ll have 30ish% of the country that literally believe an entirely false history – people who’ve spent their entire lives mainlining misogyny, homophobia, racial hatred and delusions of persecution. Will we have rest homes where the bubble can be maintained?

I spent my drive to work thinking about my elderly stepfather, who’s got cancer (which was just discovered too late). He’s been listening to Rush since day one, watching Fox, no doubt checking Drudge. That’s his routine. I wonder if he’s gonna spend his last weeks like that, too. Of course it’d be his prerogative to do so, but my mom should suggest alternatives. (I think he’ll die at home if he has any choice in the matter.)

 
 

Serious question: anybody know what we’re supposed to DO with these lunatics once their support ages out of the population?

Wait for them to die.

[/SATSQ]

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Do we really have to wait?

 
 

“If you want take away my religious liberties, you can advocate for that but you do it through the constitutional process.”

Because “Thou shalt be a bigot” is one of the Ten Commandments…

 
 

DA is insulated from whatever criticism (or attention) that he merits because nobody wants to take a side. A response to him is, in effect, a response to Dennis, and vice versa. This much is obvious. What seems unclear to them is that there is no point keeping tabs on where the one or the other stands with the S,N! community. Under these conditions, there is no meaningful data to be had — least of all, any means of assessing how the treatment accorded to the one, reflects on the community’s opinion of the other.

(Don’t assume I’ll see any reply — I don’t my spend days here.)

 
 

What seems unclear to them is that there is no point keeping tabs on where the one or the other stands with the S,N! community. Under these conditions, there is no meaningful data to be had — least of all, any means of assessing how the treatment accorded to the one, reflects on the community’s opinion of the other.

i just want them to go away…they can set up their own website where they can keep their love/hate bromance alive and spend endless hours with their, ‘did not!’/’did too!’ you’re a poopyhead!’/’no, you’re a poopyhead!/ slapfight there…

 
 

HAHAHA

what’s with all the shaving comments in the comments? is this a thing out there?

 
 

We ♥ Breitbart!

If that fat hatepuppet hadn’t’ve croaked, it would’ve been necessary to, ahem, cancel his time-slot.
Oh the merch! Oh the subscriptions!

 
 

It’s interesting to note that a few election cycles back, when Jebbie was the Governor of Florida, the purging of Hispanic voters from the election roles was already in progress.

Even though he is married to an Hispanic woman, and did a pretty good job of reaching out to that community here: at least the Cuban ones down in Broward.

I was friends with a couple whose last name was obviously Hispanic, I’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. Gomez. We moved into our homes in the same community in the same year and went to the polls together to vote during a Presidential election.

4 years later, when it came time to vote again, their names had been purged from the list of voters when they showed up at the polls. No reason was given and by the time they got the “error” fixed, it was too late for them to cast their ballots.

Coincidence?

 
 

Sometimes the spam that gets posted on old threads is hilarious:

Do you want to sell your kidney or other organs if yes apply for a sale today and you will be given the maximum satisfaction you need.Contact me via email:…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

No idea what that’s about, bbkf.

 
 

Sometimes the spam that gets posted on old threads is hilarious:

i sometimes play ‘spot the difference between troll spoor and spam’…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Hmmmm… A troll bromance would be a tromance.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Oh – B^4, I forgot to mention the other day that your sandwich – pork, provolone, and greens – had you made it with broccoli rabe (which you said is your wont) would have been the true Philly sandwich. South Philly, anyway, where the cheesesteak plays second fiddle to the Italian roast pork sammy.

 
 

I wonder what a 44 year old, chemically damaged kidney would sell for…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Yeah it’s better than a cheesesteak but my go to sandwich in Philly is a tripe sandwich from a little hole in the wall by the South Philly market.

 
 

4 years later, when it came time to vote again, their names had been purged from the list of voters when they showed up at the polls. No reason was given and by the time they got the “error” fixed, it was too late for them to cast their ballots.

This sort of thing makes me sick. There is one plausible explanation, and it isn’t “error.”

We know how to reliably distinguish between one Juan Gomez (for ex.) and another. No, it needn’t be expensive to do so, nor intrusive. It’s done routinely in contexts where no disincentive gets in the way. If we couldn’t clean up the voter registries on occasion without disenfranchising a few people, I’d say err on the side of not cleaning them; however, this isn’t the dilemma. We could have very good registries (and in any case, fraud is struck-by-lightning rare). However, in line with my earlier comment, a good system would be inconvenient. How could local partisans conduct opportune purges? How could inconvenient results be dismissed as products of fraud? How could the Florida 2000 recount work out as it did? Plausible deniability, planned obsolescence.

 
 

tripe sandwich from a little hole

duuuuuuude. NO.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

tsam said,

March 11, 2014 at 20:42

I wonder what a 44 year old, chemically damaged kidney would sell for…

Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 11, 2014 at 20:45

Yeah it’s better than a cheesesteak but my go to sandwich in Philly is a tripe sandwich from a little hole in the wall by the South Philly market.

I love that these two posts are sequential.

 
 

Hard to call THAT a coincidence, no?

 
 

Fire grilled porchetta, arugula, fennel, lemon, on toasted sourdough roll. http://imgur.com/eOfFbfz from The People’s Pig food cart.

 
 

Toasted on the outside, that is. Crispy crunchy deliciousness.

 
 

This sort of thing makes me sick. There is one plausible explanation, and it isn’t “error.”

well, you’re theory just doesn’t square with what this amurikan stinker commentor knows:

Just be aware of a trick now employed: They swap your vote precinct registration when you die. If you are now in XYZ precinct in your state and die there 12 years from now, well, even though the death certificate the election board receives should terminate your name from the roles, the “enablers” just swap your data and place you in another precinct within your state.

It leaves your voter data available should they need to use it.

Typically the swap is to a larger city precinct. It can make logical sense, as the trend is always people moving to the urban areas. People know that urban areas trend lib voting. So who will ever scrutinize and question it?

It takes a real sleuth to uncover this. Very difficult to do because they control all the voter registry data.

i’m guessing he’s saying that the democrats are the scary ‘they’ who control all the voter registry data…

here’s more important voter strategery for those who are playing along at home:

The “Democrats” (Progressive/Marxist) have, for a change, become victums of their own ideology. They are running out of “low information voters.” Their base has either: never been conceived because contraception/feminism, conceived and aborted. 56,000,000, (the population of Spain), or conceived, born and imprisoned. All unable to caste a “Democrat” vote. Answer, replace the declining base with illegal immigration and allow criminals to vote. As Marxists have proven over the centuries they are the lowest of the low.

 
 

Fire grilled porchetta, arugula, fennel, lemon, on toasted sourdough roll. http://imgur.com/eOfFbfz from The People’s Pig food cart.

That sounds WAY better than a sammich fulla guts.

 
 

As Marxists have proven over the centuries they are the lowest of the low.

Except for the Marxists in Colorado and Washington who, thanks to the marijuana laws, are now the highest of the high.

 
 

As Marxists have proven over the centuries they are the lowest of the low.

Centuries, LOL

 
 

Centuries, LOL

How easily you forget about the Mighty Obama Time Machine.

 
 

As Marxists have proven over the centuries they are the lowest of the low.

lol…i like how it’s the fault of the contraception/feminism double team that there are less low information babbies who grow up to be low information voters…his lack of proof and/or logic is compelling…

 
 

How easily you forget about the Mighty Obama Time Machine.

i am liking the obama oh snap! machine…

 
 

How easily you forget about the Mighty Obama Time Machine.

Of course! The amnesia is one of the design features, is it not?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

You laugh but if he didn’t have a time machine how did he go back and put that birth announcement in the newspaper, huh? CHECKMATE OBAMABOTS!

 
 

CHECKMATE OBAMABOTS!

Well, clearly you’ve found all the evidence and conducted an exhaustive study that proves your thesis. Well played, sir. Well played.

 
 

is his time machine called ‘barack in time’?

 
 

is his time machine called ‘barack in time’?

Wah wah wah wah…

(Sad trombone)

 
 

Although, you did just get that Huey Lewis & The Goddamn News song stuck in my head…

“Back in back in time…”

 
 

Although, you did just get that Huey Lewis & The Goddamn News song stuck in my head…

serves you right for giving me the trombone of sadness…what i don’t understand is why bronco doesn’t just go back in time and fix the aca website rollout…i mean, DUH!

 
 

…what i don’t understand is why bronco doesn’t just go back in time and fix the aca website rollout…i mean, DUH!

Because the ACA website rollout SNAFU was/is/will be there to disguise the BLACKITY-BLACK helicopters of doom. Sheesh!

 
 

Because the ACA website rollout SNAFU was/is/will be there to disguise the BLACKITY-BLACK helicopters of doom. Sheesh!

oh yes, i forgot about the blackity-black helicopters of doom…the ‘death squrds’ are training right now…

 
 

Although, you did just get that Huey Lewis & The Goddamn News song stuck in my head…

Try this instead.

And FYWP just in case.

 
 

Sure enough.

This.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

…what i don’t understand is why bronco doesn’t just go back in time and fix the aca website rollout…i mean, DUH!

He did, you should have seen the trainwreck before it was fixed… I mean you probably did, but when he retroactively fixed it those memories were replaced… it’s complicated.

 
 

It worked El Manquécito, I clicked and found that there’s no song to be stuck in my there.

 
 

The power of love, it’s a curious thing.

 
 

Huey Lewis is nacherl bawn killah

Of threads, that is.

 
 

By the same logic you could argue that Republicans are losing votes because their voters aren’t getting born.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I’d start drunk posting from the Bell House in Brooklyn but I’m waiting on people

 
 

For what it’s worth (not much at the moment) I have started a blog.
http://ihavestrongopinions.blogspot.com/

 
 

I’d start drunk posting from the Bell House in Brooklyn but I’m waiting on people
Let them catch up.

 
 

I’d start drunk posting from the Bell House in Brooklyn but I’m waiting on people

drunk waitressing is awfully fun…

 
 

d’oh

 
 

For what it’s worth (not much at the moment) I have started a blog.

bout fecking time! also, awesome to see one’s nym…

 
 

gads! t’sam, this is for you: i’m watching last night’s daily show and they just showed a clip of wayne lapierre walking out on stage to ‘the power of love’…

 
 

Greatly begun, Helmut! I read and enjoyed all the posts at yer place.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

About damn time Helmut! I’m buzzed, still waiting on my people, and the lecture starts in twenty minutes. We need this scientist named Bimler (can’t spell that without bier) to travel here to give a lecture some day.

 
 

New post.

 
 

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