Daddy. What Does Regret Mean?
What conservatives see every time women stagger an inch closer to actually being treated as full human beings by society
Kathleen Parker, The Washington Post is a Super Serious Journalism Paper:
The new F-word: Father
I strongly considered adding this as a second bonus post on the end of the last Father’s Day post, but looking further it became rapidly clear that this deserved the full mango treatment.
Because, you see, Kathleen Parker has daddy issues. Or rather, she’s got the entire run of Daddy in chronological order safely stored in individual mylar bags inside a temperature controlled “collection room” except for dual copies of the ultra rare June 1949 issue with the backwards SKU code, which of course are kept in the air-tight combination safe.
Which is sadly extremely understandable, seeing as how the “pinnacles of American journalism” have always been loath to hire any woman who didn’t carry enough water for their disapproving and slightly abusive father figures. It helps them fit better with all the men who are doing the same.
And boo on any of us who seem to put the two and two together on how this leads to endless cheerleading for whichever Republican figure of the moment can best perform whatever psychodrama necessary for the collected age-play fetishists to engage in a little shadow play with.
But anyways, you can already tell that you’re in for a treat before you even scroll down. The New F-word? Like we’re all 5 years old and the notion of someone saying “fuck” in this day and age is a shocking taboo we’re all supposed to ooooh over. And of course, we have the whole “father is a bad word” malarky from which the IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION wafts off it like an open sewer cover. And that’s before we even put the two together and realize that some complete hack thought that was a clever way to link their latest brainfart with a half-awareness of a minor holiday and then try and process it with the fact that said person easily makes more in a year than most of us make in ten or twenty without bursting into tears.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Women working outside the home for actual salaries clearly means that men need to be saved from the iron bootheels of the Gynofascist movement to eliminate all men. Thus to prevent this Vaginocalypse we as conservatives must step up our campaign of intense sexism and enforcement of the glass ceiling.
Yeah… one of these ones.
So what triggered this complete emotional meltdown at the consideration of armies of Homocidal Lesbian Terrorists (oh yeah, a Hothead Paisan reference) coming for her supply of slightly abusive penile-infused gentlemen?
News that women increasingly are the leading or sole breadwinner in the American family
Ah. Natch.
Yeah, this has been bubbling up under the surface of both MRAdom and general wingnuttery for a while now. It’s largely based around non-stories like this about how around 40% of American households have women as the economic head of the family.
Of course, said statistics are a bit of “Choose your Own Adventure” when smashed together like that with misleading shortenings like I just did. The actual science of it is simply what most of us are already aware of. Single parent families are more common now than 50 years ago because divorce is no longer a legally and socially prohibitive hellhole and it is no longer economic suicide to escape an abusive or unhappy relationship. Additionally, successes of feminism means that women actually working for real paychecks rather than as abused house slaves and sexual property has become commonplace and expected and young people are growing up without the same hangups as their parents over “who’s wearing the pants in the relationship” as long as the bills are being paid and the kids are fed.
And of course, the big giant elephant in the room, is also how the sitcom fantasy nuclear family model has become completely impossible thanks to the “successes” of right-wing economics. It’s downright impossible to not have both partners working after the Reagan years of the 80s, even for a middle class family. And in the 2000s, even that never seems to be enough to pay the rent and the grocery bill. There’s just no room for play-acting Stepford relationships.
Furthermore, though things have improved, it’s worth noting that we are still in the midst of Great Depression II: Electric Boogaloo and the particular spike that’s got conservatives running as if their heads were chopped off is almost entirely due to the fact that jobs more given to men were still staffed and paid to the point where they could be cut without literally destroying the ability of the corporate parasites to function. Whereas women have been underpaid and understaffed so long in the industries they are most likely to belong to that it proved completely impossible to fire them to the same degree. Hence “more” women being the breadwinners and sole income earners.
Now, even if it was just the “yay feminism” reasons and if we just looked at the highly misleading graphs, it’s still not much to get super-pumped about. The data collected is heavily flawed, ignores contextual information, conflates widely different family structures and tries and paint rather telling indications of inequality as burgeoning equality or worse, female supremacy.
Which is of course, why the conservatives are in full butt-clench mode over it. Especially as what little positive there is in the data is how it is pointing out the inevitability of the official demise of the 60s suburban fantasy now complete with Barbie and Ken.
And clearly, such an indication is indistinguishable from the nigh Femmepocalypse!
has resurrected the perennial question: Why do we need men?
Cause men are just disposable wallets, only useful for winning the bread we waste on eating bonbons and that made-up “groceries and toiletries” crap you say is necessary to make the magic Food Box work the way it’s supposed to, amirite?
… It never fails to amaze me how anti-feminists manage to convince the world that it was feminists who were the “man-haters”.
Maureen Dowd attempted to answer this question with her 2005 book, “Are Men Necessary?” I responded three years later with “Save the Males.”
If you read something by Maureen “I assume everyone also uses the President as a surrogate daddy to work out my various Freudian issues” Dowd and a) feel the need to respond to her with anything other than mockery or sadness and b) somehow manage to create a book that is somehow worse than her infamously troll epic?
You may just be a worthless skid mark on the underoos of society.
With each generation, the question becomes more declarative and querulous.
Oh Bob in Himmel, she’s taking the question seriously. I’m not entirely sure whether to burst into laughter or weep openly for the current standards of American journalism… so I’m going to go with both. Bwahahahboohoohoohahawaaaaah!
Huh, that’s oddly cathartic.
Recent demographic shifts show women gaining supremacy across a spectrum of quantitative measures, including education and employment.
Yes, mild not even fully equal gains in women’s rights = Female Supremacy
Decades upon centuries upon millennia of oppression and false enforcement of artificial separations between genders proved painfully untrue by said recent mild gains = WHAT ARE YOU BITCHES COMPLAINING ABOUT?!? THE PAST IS THE PAST AND BESIDES THAT’S THE NATURAL ORDER!
It also goes to show that the collected anti-feminists would completely shit their pants at even a fraction of what women and those read as women go through every day.
Women outnumber men in college and in most graduate fields.
I feel I’ve already covered this.
Have I already covered this?
Yeah… yeah, I’ve already covered this.
Increasingly, owing in part to the recession and job loss in historically male-dominated fields, they are surpassing men as wage-earners, though women still lag behind at the highest income and executive levels.
Well that a) seems to be an effect suspiciously absent the iron high heel of Gynofascism, but rather bears the tell-tale man-sized bootheels of boring old capitalist oppression, b) doesn’t actually mean a damn thing if they are still being barred from any position of meaningful power, influence, and high income, and c) rather transparently reveals that your freakout is nothing more than an excuse to kick down rather than dare examine the ways in which modern American capitalism may not be conducive to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh, also that d) Kathleen Parker needs to stop taking so much influence from David fucking Brooks.
My argument that men should be saved is that,
…
I’m imagining earning a 6-figure salary for sentences that begin like this. Fuck, community college freshmen taking the first Composition course of their entire lives can produce a better mock-academic opener to a sentence than that.
And yet she’s a Pulitzer winning journalist.
…
But no, there’s totally something worth saving in the broken edifice of American print journalism.
despite certain imperfections, men are fundamentally good and are sort of pleasant to have around.
…
Hello, Kathleen, I notice you’re having a very fine and stimulating conversation with that Scarecrow out there in the field. Which is why I hesitate to intervene and inform you that sadly, this isn’t fucking Oz, a transsexual princess isn’t sitting on the Emerald throne, and that lump of inanimate straw isn’t exactly going to start walking around and disagreeing with you, much less enact the modern Y-chromosome Holocaust you are imagining.
You…uh… do get that… right?
Most women still like to fall in love with them;
Well yes, the majority of women are in fact heterosexual… or rather are at the very least on the Kinsey spectrum between 0 and 5. Or more specific to your exact example, heteroromantic or biromantic women do indeed make up the majority of those women with romantic orientations. Though I would argue that love in general is hardly a choice, in much the same way as you can’t really choose who you fall in lust with and besides…
But I’m getting off track from the fact that nobody is really going around telling women that they aren’t allowed to fall in love with men or that falling in love with men is fictional or wrong. Plenty saying that women falling in love with women or women falling in love with those that fall in the in-between are wrong or deluded or sick. Plenty trying to enforce that with violence, discrimination, oppression, and sometimes rape. But the opposite? Not so much-
all children want a father no matter how often we try to persuade ourselves otherwise.
Yeah… no. Just no.
A kid with two (or three or four or even just one on her own) loving mommies isn’t going to be crying themselves to sleep over how they don’t have a “daddy” to make their lives complete. And honestly, isn’t really going to miss the inclusion of a “daddy” figure in their life outside of the social bigotry and dismissal they gets from greater society over what they’re “lacking”.
In the same way that the reverse is true. A kid raised by loving daddies isn’t going to miss the lack of a “mommy” outside that same general homophobic pressure.
And yeah, it’s worth noting the homophobic double-turn here. She acknowledged half-a-sentence ago the potential existence of homoromantic female relationships, before insisting that every child needs a dad and that it’s insanity to assume otherwise.
The viscerality of it combined with this whole bizarre strawman of a paragraph is making it very difficult to avoid concluding that the very notion of women existing in relationships, jobs, and lives without the validation and support of men is so frightening to her and her faith in the patriarchy that she assumes its some sort of vanguard to the complete elimination of men from daily life.
To which, sentences like:
If we continue to impose low expectations and negative messaging on men and boys, future women won’t have much to choose from.
This, just do not help.
Also, are men breeding stock in your analogies now? And you’re worried that an increasingly feminist culture is the one that’s disrespectful and insulting to men?
IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, thy name is wingnut.
We are nearly there.
Yes, clearly, the footsoldiers of our gynocratic overlords are nearly busting down the doors of men everywhere. I saw a transman, hardly more than a teenager, pulled from his home and sent into a camp where abusive assholes harassed and yelled at him… oh wait, no, that was about some sort of “pray away the queerness” thing… hmmm, I’m sure, there’s some sort of proof, just give me a second.
The Pew Research Center recently found that four in 10 American households with children under age 18 include a mother who is either the primary breadwinner or the sole earner (quadruple the share in 1960). The latter category is largely owing to the surge in single-mother households.
Ah ha! I have found illicit feminazi training manuals detailing the secret plots to castrate, maim, and shoot our menfolk unless they comply with queer and feminist protocol. Disguised as mere alternative comic books from the 80s and 90s, these secret works by Comrades Diane DiMassa and Roberta Gregory reveal the truth! Wake up sheeple!
This reflects “evolving family dynamics,” according to the New York Times, which sounds rather nice — evolution being a good thing and all.
Did you hear the dog whistle, those of you in the back? The one where we are deliberately provoking the anti-evolution ideology of our increasingly evangelical christian base? I just wanted to check to make sure it got through, what with it being so subtle so we can still claim that people like us are “reasonable moderate conservatives”. Oh good, you did hear it? Excellent, cause if we made it any less subtle, those bonehead liberals might end up picking up on it and mock the fuck out of it.
But what it really represents is a continuing erosion of the traditional family and, consequently, what is best for children and, therefore, future society.
Ah geeze, lady, I was totally unaware of that dog whistle pumped through the theatre sound system until you spelled it out. Now I have to go back and mock you by ancient Sadly, No! tradition. Which means I’ll have to delete my family’s secret recipe for making Ambrosia on the mortal plain. Thanks a lot, fucker!
Before you reach for the inhaler,
Ah, shit’s getting intense now!
People are getting asthmatic attacks and shit!
Which, yeah, if you’re so worried about that, maybe you should blow the dust off your ancient and archaic assumptions about gender relations and what a family “looks like” before you drop it all over the page. Yanno, maybe…
permit me to introduce a few disclaimers.
Oh, sorry, did I just set up the usual conspiracy theory jamboree more expected of the pages of the American Thinker than the supposedly higher-caliber KAPLAN Test-Prep Post? Whoops. Let me backtrack a little bit and put up a terribly unconvincing pose of giving a fuck about women’s rights and equality.
First, I’m all for women achieving all they can. Obviously, I’m on that treadmill myself. I’ve raised three children while working (mostly self-employed and briefly as a single mom). There is no moisture behind my ears.
Holy fucking shit, Is that…? No. It couldn’t be. But…
Is that a Bob honest acknowledgment by an anti-feminist conservative woman that their career ranting about how all other women should get back in the kitchen and out of the workplace is nonetheless a CAREER?!?
And here I had given up any hope of ever seeing an anti-feminist bother even showing this token acknowledgment of their blatant hypocrisy and the way they’ve taken the fruits of feminist gains while desperately trying to kick over the ladder behind them.
It’s so beautiful… it hurts a little…
Second, women have joined the workforce in greater numbers because they’ve had to, not merely to hear themselves roar, as the Helen Reddy song once described women’s nascent self-realization. Children are expensive and one income seldom suffices. Thanks to the recession, many Americans count themselves lucky if even one member of the household has a job. And a single mother clearly has no other choice, though it is increasingly the case that women choose to be single parents as the biological clock runs down.
And an acknowledgment that modern capitalism just might have a little to do with making it so a two-income household is not just nice, but is a downright necessity in the modern age?
Did I… Did I transport to a magical dimension where conservatives actually acknowledge the reality around them rather than blaming all their issues on whoever’s lower on the hierarchy and trying to make their lives relatively worse? Oh joyous day, we’ll be able to fix so much stuff and-
Nevertheless, trends that diminish the importance of fathers from the family unit cannot — or should not — be celebrated. Contrary to the Hollywood version of single motherhood, a trend that began with Murphy Brown more than 20 years ago, single mothers are more likely to be younger, black or Hispanic, and less educated, according to Pew, and they have a median family income of $23,000. In those families where married women earn more than their husbands, the woman is more often white, older and college educated and the median household income is $80,000.
Conversations the past few days about Pew’s findings have veered toward practical questions of men’s value. During a recent segment on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” guests — all women except Joe Scarborough, who looked sheepish and mostly kept his own counsel — visited the familiar question: Why do women even need men?
Oh right, disingenuous faux-moderate paragraphs having little to nothing to do with the rest of her post…
Well, that’s a load of egg on my face… or at least I hope that’s egg… um, does anyone have a towel?
Sigh, so yeah, it’s been a hard road, brutal and painful, but women are slowly starting to vaguely creep towards equal on a number of issues, though many others are still locked and barred with the brute strength of harassment campaigns, rape threats, and murder. Which of course means, to those heavily invested in the patriarchy, that there needs to be a lot of hand-wringing about whether women even need men, because apparently men are such horrible, useless, vile scum that women would only put up with them if they were forced by a brutal oppressive system of enforced heteronormativity.
Except, only the anti-feminists actually think like that. The rest of us, those mean-nasty feminists and our iron tipped stilettos, like men just fine. Have no trouble considering them equal and full people without reducing them to lodestones or breeding stock. In fact, they love having equal relationships with men whether it be friendship, romantic partnership, or sexual interaction. Because that means that they are treated with respect. Which is also why women with self respect rant so much about sexism and patriarchy in the first place. Because it poisons those positive interactions of people, by insisting on unnecessary enforcements of gender roles that have never fit anyone cleanly (certainly not when it isn’t a choice).
And I feel we can end on that note, having sufficiently mined the humor potential of this here mango river-
The ladies worked earnestly to find positive roles for their hirsute colleagues, noting that men can be useful in family planning, child-care sharing, working as part of a team. Although a man’s presence was implicit in the hypothetical household, I waited futilely for emphasis to shift to the importance of fathers to their children’s well-being.
I…huh? It’s… It’s Morning Joe. No one there has the brainpower of a turnip, why would you even expect? And children’s well-being? The question was some right-wing blather about women needing men, why the fuck would we erase grown men to talk instead about children, unless it is someone actually saying something of use for once and pointing out that households not hung up on bullshit crap about “men and women’s roles” is going to not only be more likely to be loving and supportive, but will be better able to adjust and respond to their children no matter how they end up, whether it be heteronormative stock brokers or quadsexual flubert turnip-twaddlers?
No, not getting sucked back in-
Father, it seems, has become the new F-bomb.
… Which is why a newspaper so stogy and archaic that it can only reference the word “FUCK” with the vocabulary of a 7-year-old can safely write it a few thousand times and post the usual empty-headed “Happy Father’s Day” fluff articles around the site.
Truly, it has become the last of the great taboos.
I saw angry conservatives picketing the local Hallmark because of their offensively informal usage of such a filthy, horrible word and honestly, despite my own lack of respect for tabooed language, I’m hard-pressed to disagree. Fath-that word is just… yeah. No. Just no.
Oh, we’ll say “F#$&” in a 30-Rock second,
Apparently no, no you will not.
but “father”?
Father appears 7 times in her article alone. And that’s specifically the word father. Fuck appears 0 times, but is obliquely referenced at least 3 times, every time with censoring for the “sensibilities” of the types of people who still read the Washington Post (i.e. the type of old people who get angry if you try and remove a comic from the comics page just because the creator died and isn’t producing any new work)…
LOGIC!
The term, along with the concept, seems to have receded from popular usage, displaced by the vernacular of drive-by impregnators, the inane “baby daddy.”
Also, here, did you catch the racist dog-whistle here? I’m just really worried that I’m being too subtle to be understood by my intended audience!
Women, indeed, may not need men, though they seem to want them — at least until the estrogen ebbs.
As a biologist by training, a feminist by living, an asexual by existing, and a taker of estrogen by dysphoria, I would respond to this particular sentence, but I’m a bit distracted by the sudden taste of copper and the blood coming out of my nose. If you’ll excubalabfj-*THUD*
Women have become more self-sufficient (a good thing) and, given that they still do the lion’s share of housework and child rearing, why, really, should they invite a man to the clutter?
*orkorkork* Me agree, filthy man, no is needed, because sexist dismissal and gendered role-distribution of unpaid house and child care work. *orkorkork* Me like happy Parker lady, she supportive of seals like me! *orkorkork* I taste bees!
Because, simply, children need a father.
…
And I’m back. Okay, fine, since this mango seems to be being passed through the large intestines of the wingnutosphere as the “next new hot argument against same-sex marriage, which turns out to be the same rejected argument that’s been laughed out of the room a thousand times before”, let’s give it a good final flushing.
Why?
Why does a child supposedly need a father? For those of you somehow struggling to explain why husbands, why men in the abstract are quote-unquote “necessary”, why are you so certain that fathers are irreplaceable? Do children of lesbian couples grow up completely socially maladjusted and broken? No, no more than the rest of society. If a father is suddenly is struck dead, or ends up transitioning, or otherwise exits the picture, stage right, does the child become subfunctional? Cause, it’s been a number of decades that single mothers have become commonplace, hell, you yourself admitted you were one for awhile. Were your children instantly broken and subfunctional until you could once again yoke yourself into a conservatism approved living arrangement? Were you the most terrible mother on the planet for daring to deprive your children of a father, any father during that time period?
Is this need so great that it nearly anything would be preferable for the child than leaving? That it would be better for the child to stay with someone who raped or abused you? Who hit you in front of them? Who hit them in front of you? Who raped them and abused them and made them want to kill themselves with depression and trauma?
Would it be better for a child to be dead than to be raised by a loving lesbian couple? To be out on the streets, scrounging for a hit, than to be raised by a loving single mother who was willing to stand behind them? To go to bed scared to mention their punctured lung than to live in a household where “daddy” isn’t considered the sole be all and end all of what “makes a family”?
Cause that’s sort of at the crux of this argument, of all arguments about the necessity of fathers as well as the fear that if they aren’t enforced they will become absent.
That father is just like marriage or family or values, another code-word for a broken system where only the “man” of the household got to be the real person and everyone else was just his possessions.
And sadly, that is not the world most of us want to live in anymore. We like having parents who love each other as equals or love themselves as full human beings enough to be single and a parent. We like systems where children can be something other than what their parents want without fear of being disowned, financial penalties, or the loss of their parent’s all-too conditional love. We like the ability of households to find what works for them whether that’s breeding or not, poly or mono or a mix of the two, open and free, or quieter and more reserved.
And maybe that’ll mean a world where fathers aren’t needed, as some patriarchal enforcement of gender roles and hierarchies. But rather one in which men, women, those in the transgender spectrum, and those beautiful fluberts and shlinks, can find their own model where the humanity of all is never in question and nothing is assumed to be one person’s role because…reasons.
Now, I only have two fucks left to give for this overwrought chest-beating, so better make it good.
That not all get a good one is no argument against what is true and irrevocable and everlasting. Deep in the marrow of every human child burbles a question far more profound than those currently occupying coffee klatches: Who is my daddy?
The world is not responsible to your daddy issues. It need not organize itself in convenient patterns so you can work out your fears and sorrows and unprocessed complex emotional reactions surrounding your father. People in it can be sympathetic. Can recommend you take care of yourself and use part of your considerable fortune to get a psychologist to help you and prevent it from being so powerful that it interferes with your job. But we don’t owe those issues anything. And those issues are not the omnipresent reality you assume we share.
Because for most of us, the question “who is your daddy” only ever comes up in a very specific aspect of sexual role-playing, far removed from the mouths of children, we damn well would hope… you creepy pedophile.
And sadly these days, where is he?
Oh sorry, I lied. I ran out of fucks to give a long damn time ago.
And frankly, if you really have been asking that question since you were a kid, then ma’am, respectfully, your “daddy” was never much worth knowing in the first place.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Well son, the funny thing about regret is it’s better to regret something you have done than something you haven’t done. Oh by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, be sure and tell her: SATAN SATAN SATAN! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
And yeah, if shit piles up like last thread, feel free to send me a poke to do a cleaning run at cerberussadlyno at gmail dot com.
really? i finally formulate a good pun and you put up a new post…sheesh…
“Doctor, what’s the condition of that man who stuck the fifty-cent piece up his ass?”
“No change yet, Nurse.”
.
.
.
What? Too late??
“bbkf said,
June 18, 2013 at 6:11
really? i finally formulate a good pun and you put up a new post…sheesh…”
It took you four days?!
I spent half my life growing up in a single mother household. And I have to tell you it sucked after my dad died. It probably would have been the same if it had been my other mom who died, but I didn’t grow up like that. I grew up with a good dad who died young and yea my life would have been better with him. Not every classic nuclear family is the disaster you imagine. Most are happy and loving and share the load. Yes it is better to have a dad then not have a dad, I tried both and I know
For a thoroughly satisfying pun, four days might be a fair price.
Obligatory.
Daddy issues — of course! The embarrassing phenomenon of Ms. Parker so eagerly embracing the unpaid position of Mitt Romney’s personal flak jacket during last year’s presidential campaign now makes a lot more sense. “Look, Daddy, I’m helping you! Aren’t I a good girl? Aren’t I, huh? Love me, Daddy! Love me!!”
Actual experience in Graduate School welcoming party (2000) for new students:
“It’s really good to see so many women in this year’s class – you all have a very important role here, that will help continue the success of this research institution: that of creating a welcoming environment for the men, who will have to work so hard to succeed. So help make their work a success by supporting them with a cheerful and happy workplace.”
My jaw still hurts from slamming on the floor so quickly.
Smut beats me to the punch… love the title!
Actual experience in Graduate School welcoming party (2000) for new students:
Ho-Lee-Crap, what institution was that, Regent University?
I’ve had a deep seated hatred for KP ever since her “blut und soil” attack on Barack Obama but in this case I’d like to pick on just one part of the essay–the assertion that women are choosing single parenthood because of their biological clocks. I think a brief glance at the actual data would indicate that the kind of woman who ends up single parenting within the context of a heterosexual lifestyle is usually younger, not older. She’s not having kids “alone” because she feels her biological clock ticking and can’t get a man to settle down with her–the vast majority of single mothers are women who are in serial relationships with men whose rather typical masculinity requires them to mark each relationship with a child. This isn’t your bourgeouis father scheme. Its a classic working class/unemployed masculinity combined with a dragging economy for such men. Family relationships are not modeled on a stable husband/wife paring at all in this model and probably never really have been, certainly not since divorce and the pill. People get married to solmenize a relationship that is ongoing–a hell of a lot of working and lower middle class Americans now have one or two babies first and then a big wedding. This is because children are not considered as expensive, for the lower classes, as they are for the upper classes since people don’t try to purchase for their children a higher class status/more expensive education than they have themselves.
Upper class people live together and then get married before having children because they can afford the blow out wedding more than they can afford to pay for expensive children from a “failed” marriage. The women generally need to maintain a high paying job to pay for child care, or to be certain that their marriage partner can do so.
There’s an economy of marriage and children which is completely divorced from morality or any kind of judgement of the utility of males. I’m married to one, myself, and I love him. But no one had to lecture me on his utility or his decorative qualities. They inhere in him naturally. Kathleen Parker really thinks of men as absolute shits–and no doubt her father (who had six wives?) was a total loss. But the rest of us? That’s not our experience.
Contrary to the Hollywood version of single motherhood, a trend that began with Murphy Brown more than 20 years ago, single mothers are more likely to be younger, black or Hispanic, and less educated, according to Pew, and they have a median family income of $23,000
Parker also ignores the fact that the conservative War on (Some) Drugs disproportionately impacts black and Hispanic men, who tend to receive much longer sentences than their white counterparts.
In a world where (ostensibly) there are no legal restrictions on women as full citizens with equal rights, wouldn’t the more appropriate question be: “Why do women, who statistically make up more than half of the voting population, ONLY account for 40% of the economic Head of Households?”
Misogynistic assholes cannot help but reveal themselves, just as racist assholes cannot.
Just like when there is the public question of “why WE should allow THEM to remove the world ‘Plantation’ from an official state name” — um, because CITIZENS with voting rights used the proper democratic forum to try to effect this change, maybe?
I know that seems like a tangent, but I’m tired of these loony, backwards, frightened, yet privileged, motherfuckers getting away with the tacit understanding that Everybody still sees True Americans as white, male, Christian, landholders.
When can we stop pretending to give a fuck what they “think”?
And as for this supposedly outrageous notion that wimmins might be making up OMGFORTYPERCENT of the Head of Households being explained as a large number of them being single parent households, well, I can only see that as even worse inequality.
Women should make up at least 50% of economic Head of Households – EVEN IF THEY ARE FUCKING MARRIED.
Ahem…carry on.
4 days…? it wasn’t that good of a pun…
i always took it as a matter of course that hubbkf would make more than i did, because duh…he’s a boy…and around here, unless you lucked into a career or actually went to school so you could have a career, wimmins only had the usual variety of low paying part time jobs to choose from…i’m closing in on hubbkf now, though…and it feels damn good…
You may just be a worthless skid mark on the underoos of society.
I stand, slack-jawed, cheering, applauding, starting a religion in your honor.
Cerberism.
i’m closing in on hubbkf now, though…and it feels damn good…
See!?! The gynomunnists admit it, they take pleasure in grinding us under their strappy bootheel!!
Because, simply, children need a father. That not all get a good one is no argument against what is true and irrevocable and everlasting.
Newsflash for everyone who was brought up without a dad, K-Pax says you don’t exist.
Because, simply, children need a father. That not all get a good one is no argument against what is true and irrevocable and everlasting.
Newsflash for everyone who was brought up without a dad, K-Pax says you don’t exist.
she’s right in that every kid needs a sperm to get here, but after that? nope…don’t need a dad…having an awesome one is preferable, but not necessary…(feel my strappy bootheel!)…but seriously, how do they not get that have been evolving and changing since the beginning of time? as a person who had an awesome, although flawed parents, it could have gone a lot worse or it could have been a lot better…guess why? c’mon…you can guess why, can’t you?
And the contention that dads have somehow been banished from teh telly? Really? I don’t watch the teevees much anymoar, but I am calling BULL-FUCKING-SHIT on that one.
Thankfully my wife got away from her abusive, low-life first husband when the girls were quite young and raised them on her own.
Someday I’m going to send that bastard a thank-you note for setting the bar so low for me.
Because, simply, children need a father.
Maybe K-Pax means that kids raised without a dad never amount to anything.
The new F-word: Father
That explains why I’ve been having trouble finding porn on the net.
“Butt-father” should be hyphenated, correct?
@chris: Go tell Elizabeth Fritzl how important having a Dad is
Most fathers do a good job (and I’m sorry for your loss), but that doesn’t make them essential.
Not every classic nuclear family is the disaster you imagine.
Wow, chris, reading for comprehension is not your strong suit, is it?
has resurrected the perennial question: Why do we need men?
It has? Not in my neighborhood.
Also too:
And because I can’t leave things well alone (understand I’m accident-prone):
…will that internets be carry-out or delivery, BringTheNoise?
Perhaps it’s because I grew up a bit of an outsider, moving quite a bit during my formative years, but I could sense from early on that society was an artificial system, rather than some natural state, and through my native wits learned to game that system to my advantage, much like millions of boys growing up in America.
As an adult, I am certainly the economic (though not in any other way) Head of Household, and I easily make twice what my wife does for half the effort. But I will be honest: I am a lazy bastard and chronic underachiever. What I do for a living is inconsequential to mankind, yet I have achieved a fair success based entirely on, from what I can tell, my charm, quick wit, and having a penis. I have fairly sailed through life acquiring academic degrees, professional contacts, and commendations, while expending the absolute bare minimum of effort to keep out of trouble and get ahead. I played all the boy games that earn you the right to be called a “man”—military, sports, higher education, leadership roles.
My wife, on the other hand, works her ass off to be a consummate professional—not because of the financial rewards, but because she is dedicated to her calling and truly devotes herself to making the world a better place. But she is a teacher of young children, one of the lowest posts in our supposedly enlightened society, so she is given the social respect, and financial compensation, of a Baby Sitter.
Our educational system is a great example of the foundational misogyny of American society. The most important, difficult, and consequential need for a thriving Democracy is a well-adjusted and educated population, and that MUST begin with human development at an early stage. Critical thinking is a skill that is acquired in early childhood or not at all. It demands of mentors to be psychologists, educators, behaviorists, diplomats (with parents), artists, and any number of other disciplines to be able to cope with guiding a young mind into personhood.
At the other end of the education system is the Tenured Professor—a position that requires nothing more than showing up for a class once in awhile and talking about what you know (or think you know), with no responsibility for whether students show up or learn anything. Pretty fucking easy work for the money, if you ask me.
While I personally know many tenured professors who excel as educators, frankly that is not required of them, and society doesn’t suffer from their failures as it does from the failures of early education (or lack thereof). Yet, these folks are showered with the utmost respect and social status, along with commensurate pay, which typically falls well into the upper percentile of salaries nationwide.
Meanwhile, Early Childhood Educators, who have the responsibility to maintain a working knowledge of so many disciplines while they shape the foundations of future generations, are universally treated as nannies, easily replaced and worth about what you would pay a manager at Taco Bell.
Guess which sex dominates each end of the education spectrum? Which came first—forcing perceived menial jobs on women or perceiving traditionally female jobs as menial, and therefore un-masculine? A little of both, I imagine.
I was recently reviewing the original broadcast of Battle of the Sexes, the tennis match between Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King, from 1973. Aside from the blatantly masculine insecurity for the match in the first place—“to show that boys are better than girls (at ritualized combat)”—I was morbidly fascinated by the casual and ubiquitous sexism on display by nearly every single man in the broadcast, from celebrity spectators to the announcers themselves. A nearly constant stream of demeaning, sexual, dismissive, and condescending comments about, and in many instance said directly to, women in general colored the broadcast from pre-match through the dismantling of Riggs by a mere woman.
My first reaction is relief that those days are long gone, but as I think about it, I realize they are not gone at all. Oh, we have come up with some new rules to the game that make public statements about the inherent misogyny and racism “out of bounds,” but boys and girls are still raised in this country to understand that White Male Christians are really superior to everyone else, whatever you are allowed to say out loud. Kind of like being polite in front of your grandmother and keeping the sailor talk to a minimum, even though you don’t really think there is anything wrong with it.
Is it any wonder that ignorant fucks get frustrated that they are not “allowed” to say what they have experienced in every area of society since birth—that white males run everything and have privileges others do not deserve—and act out on these frustrations; especially when they are egged-on by corporate cheerleaders like Parker (et al)? Is it any wonder that insecure men, who have been conditioned to feel entitled despite having earned it, might worry that they are being deprived of their natural birthright?
I am embarrassed by our society’s enthusiastic embrace of paternalistic hierarchies; I am angered by the derogatory treatment of my wife and her profession; I am worried about the future happiness of my teenaged daughters when they realize they are not to be equal citizens in a progressive America after all; and I am a bit ashamed that I have taken advantage of that very system to achieve what limited success I have. Awareness is not even close to being enough. We really, really need to wake up and get moving on securing a future for the entire human race. This is not just a moral/ethical thing to do; it is essential for the survival of us all.
The new F-word: Father
That explains why I’ve been having trouble finding porn on the net.
“Butt-father” should be hyphenated, correct?
*snerk* I for one am NOT going to google that, but I’d be interested in a report from someone with a stronger
stomachcommitment to serving the public.I have nothing to say except XXXOOO x 11 for the Hothead Paisan clip.
Blog whore alert!
I posted an essay on my blog (actually spent some time on it rather than just slapping a video up there with some comments) I welcome any constructive criticism in the comments. Dozens of people read my blog every week. I plan on making it a Daily Kos diary next week. You have to wait a week after registering for some reason.
Also, if a notorious vacuum killer is reading this, I put a link to your art site up right next to Picasso’s blog.
Also too, poop and penis.
Also, Poop and Penis!
Women still earn, what, about 75% of what men are paid for the same work? What should we adjust that figure down to so that Parker will be satisfied that men are necessary? 65%? 50%?
Nice post Cole.
Wow, privacy really is gone in this country. Where the hell did you get that picture of my wife at the head of the post?
“and through my native wits learned to game that system to my advantage, much like millions of boys growing up in America.”
You’re a better man than me, Cole. I never could. Thankfully, having a man arounbd the house seems to amuse my wife, and she gives me a liberal allowance.
During a recent segment on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” guests — all women except Joe Scarborough, who looked sheepish and mostly kept his own counsel
Yeah, I imagine a guy with his history with female interns might look a little sheepish in a crowd of women…
Excuses, excuses, excuses! Unlike you guys, I am actually doing something to correct this societal imbalance, not just sitting around bi…I mean bellyaching about it. I took action! Refusing to take part in this male-centric farce, I have turned myself, through dint of continuous application, into a purely decorative object, the male equivalent of a trophy wife, well, if you happen to play in Little League. No, not a trophy, more like a certificate or something somebody popped out of their printer to give all the kids on the team. Without even the gold-embossed edges.
Of course, I live in a world of fear, worried my wife will trade me in for a younger, sexier husband who actually works (I have an allergy) but that’s only fair, isn’t it?
Perhaps the bulk of society’s Daddy Issues fol-de-rol may all boil down to my pet peeve thesis: that mental/emotional hygiene is the fulcrum of history.
Kurt Vonnegut’s “bad brain chemicals” explanation makes nearly the same case, but Vonnegut is shrugging off rather a lot of wilful Dunning-Kruger fanboyism with his small cold clean test-tube for my taste.
The brutal contrapuntal kicker here is that said pet peeve will also keep getting deadlier as society gets smarter. Put a maniacal unregulated limbic system & high tech together & amazingly nasty things are bound to ensue.
Bonus BlogTrolloping™ = a dose of nutritious SubGenius silliness & an epic little lecture …now I think I have the raging feels for Lera Boroditsky.
So I’m banned from commenting at Politico. Was it something I said? I look at it as a god blessing.
jim, your criticism of Vonnegut illustrates one of the weaknesses of scientism, that all human/societal ills can be fixed with the right application of brain chemistry/SCIENCE!. See Poor Superman by Fritz Leiber.
“and I easily make twice what my wife does for half the effort.”
C’mon Cole, put your money where your mouth is! Too good to live on your wife’s earnings only? You’ll never correct the economic imbalance that way.
But I’m committed to a better future so I do my nails, read up on sales, all day the records play. Then she comes home, I tell her, Oy–what a day I had today! I swear I’ll do my manly job: Just sit at home–become a slob!
I’m Moosie, Moosie, married husband, that’s me!
gocart, you were banned for your Niewertian POV. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.
has resurrected the perennial question: Why do we need men?
We’re good at opening jars and killing spiders.
“that all human/societal ills can be fixed with the right application of brain chemistry/SCIENCE!.”
What about the person who, at this very site, declared that they had smoked quite a lot of medicinal marijuana and announced he or she was “cured, cured completely” ? Could the right application be right in front of our nose, which is after all, as Dr. Freeman said when he wielded the icepick “the gateway to the mind”?
Who knew averaging $ .70 for every dollar was supremacy. Maybe I’m unclear about the definition of supremacy.
Are we still missing our Butthole Surfers embed?
“Maybe I’m unclear about the definition of supremacy.”
Let me tell you what it’s like, using those new-fangled typographical emoticons all the kids are so crazy about these days. All I have to see is her 🙂 turn to 🙁 and a fall to the floor and begin fluttering like a wounded bird.
Fact is, it was only a few years into our wedded abyss I found out she shot her first husband.
No, that was just a memorable shit-fit that Dan Quayle threw, and everyone remembers him for being a stupid asshole.
“that mental/emotional hygiene is the fulcrum of history”
Unfortunately, that’s a hard thing to acheive when people are brought up on contrived images. And now they’re bigger, better focused and brighter than real life! Can’t figure out why parents have never figured out that what they need to do is install CCTV and talk to their kids through the flat-screen. Boom, instant respect and obedience! “And now, a word from your parents!”
Ah but I guess it’s two generations, maybe more, by now. I mean look at “Cole”. There’s a guy who has seen way, way too many Cary Grant movies.
First Politico bans me and now Dennis is badmouthing me on my own blog. Life is good.
“gocart, you were banned for your Niewertian POV. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.”
Must be it, no cuss words, criticizing the wingnut P.O.V. and so on.
“everyone remembers him for being a stupid asshole.”
Except for conservatives, who drew from the incident the lesson that you can make a fuss worthy of atrocities or war crimes over a TV show, but without taking any responsibility at all, since there aren’t any facts. They worship Quayle as one of their tutelary gods.
No, that was just a memorable shit-fit that Dan Quayle threw, and everyone remembers him for being a stupid asshole.
I’ll never forget David Letterman’s line:
“Mr. Vice President, Murphy Brown…”
[momentary pause for him to work up a pained expression and tone of voice]
“…is a fictional character.”
“Mooser, that last post is gonna hit a little too close to home for DA.”
Dennis, why don’t you go and sit on a tack, saving Dr. Freeman the trouble?
“I have nothing to say except XXXOOO x 11 for the Hothead Paisan clip.”
Ahem! But thank you for not hotlinking to my Hothead.
Hello President Quayle!
“We’re good at opening jars and killing spiders.”
I hope you are aware you won’t get away with it, even if you flee to the trackless Empyrean
Jars, my wife just bites the lid off.
“No, that was just a memorable shit-fit that Dan Quayle threw, and everyone remembers him for being a stupid asshole.”
Exactly, I remember watching that show (did Quayle?) Murphy Brown got back together with an ex-boyfriend, got pregnant and decided not to have an abortion. It’s fine when the Palin’s do it.
If children are going to grow up to be be self-sufficient, responsible adults, they need to be raised in the proper environment. They need a safe place where they can be taught be example how to be a responsible person, a good citizen, and a loving member of a supportive family. There are lots of family arrangements that work. Two parent households, one parent households, Creches, theoretically someday even 2 childcare-robot households. Some arrangements don’t work as well, like being raised by wolves or fundamentalist polygamists, or by their newly adopted brother and sister child soldiers. But the thing is, one situation isn’t the one and only way to raise children with the rest destined to only produce failures, addicts, or multi-level-marketing salesmen.
If a mother or mother-to-be likes having a husband, she should try and get a good one and keep him around. If that husband turns out to not be a positive influence and a fully contributing member of the family, no one should look down on the mother for kicking him out. Having no father around is better than having a bad father. Similarly, if a mother wants to raise her children by herself, or with a partner or either sex, wedded or not, that is her decision to make. Parents and legal guardians get to make these decisions for themselves and the children they are raising, for their own benefit and convenience. Criticizing some alleged “fatherless” trend as if it were the end of America and apple pie, only reveals the issues of the author.
As Cerb mentions, some serious action on reducing poverty in America would do more to end so called “fatherlessness” then ten million of these tedious op ed pieces ever could. And the creep focus on ‘fatherlessness’ does a disservice to every single parent (or member of a non-traditional nuclear family) raising their child the best way they know how.
There’s nothing magical about fathers. Two parents usually have more time and money to raise a child. That’s it. Two parents who can cooperate and nurture have an easier time raising a family than a single parent would. But that’s a stupid argument to build a moral crusade on, because any advantage two loving parents have over single parent families, would be increased still further in three parent families. So why is no one in conservative America is bemoaning the trend of maiden-aunt-less families or butler-less families? Why is no one arguing for the creation of child rearing creches where Americas youths can be raised in lots of a hundred at a time by well-paid highly-trained parenting specialists?
Alas, Dianne DiMassa is a raging transphobe.
http://feministing.com/2010/02/12/responding-to-the-recent-interview-with-diane-dimassa/
I know, my girlfriend used to be a big fan.
Looks like SMG is ’bout to get ahemmed from down under (sounds WAY kinker than it is)
Thanks, Cole. We need more like you, and I hope we’re getting them.
I read somewhere that women tend to get more radicalized as we get older, and I have a theory (based entirely on my own experiences, if course): Women get more radicalized as we get older because it keeps not getting better. When I was a small child, I noticed things were much better for boys than girls. Boys got to aspire to the cool careers, they got to wear clothes that were designed to be played in, they got to run the projector (this still rankles – I’m sure I could have run it better and learned how faster, but it wasn’t ever a possibility), the smartest person in class had to be a boy*, etc. My parents noticed me noticing, and told me that it was a lousy system, but it was getting better, and I should be patient. Sure enough, they stopped requiring girls wear dresses to school, so I could play on the jungle gym without exposing my underwear, but things really haven’t gotten that much better. And not only are things not really any better**, but there are serious and often successful efforts to undo any advances that have been made, and the people doing this can be as rude as they want, but anyone opposing them has to be very careful not to offend.
*First rule of classroom: don’t show the boys up. Second rule is do your best, but not if it violates rule one.
**Better here being defined as each person is considered by society in general to be a real person, regardless of one’s gender (or ethnic background, orientation, physical disability, etc. – but it’s always women at the back of the line).
“Some arrangements don’t work as well, like being raised by wolves…”
Hey, Helmut, take it easy. I did alright.
“There’s nothing magical about fathers.”
Oh, don’t I know it! Mine proved exceptionally easy to get rid of.
Oh well, must be family values day at Sadly, No!
This entire discussion is fruitless, bootless and the point is moot! Benevolent Nature or even “God” if you will, gives every child everything they need, (except meals and a place to sleep til they turn 18, or so)
Parents thinking they can give their children anything beyond that are insufferably conceited. Don’t you know your own limitations?
Me, I don’t even talk to anything which is below the age of consent, there’s no percentage in it.
Of course, I came from a broken home, and I never could put it back together after I broke it.
I can post again if necessary.
All I know is that access to birth control without compulsory tattling leads to kids fucking like rabbits. True story, bro.
Is it a conservative trait, or a more generally human one, to take statements like “women should not be required to stay in a bad marriage” or “a woman should be able to choose to have an abortion” or “consenting adults should be able to marry whomever they please” and turn them in to “OMG!!! 11!!, teh feminists want to do away with all men!!!” Or “… want to require everyone to have an abortion” or “The gays want to make everyone gay marry their sister (or in Santorum’s case, their dog)!!!”
“Sure enough, they stopped requiring girls wear dresses to school, so I could play on the jungle gym without exposing my underwear”
Wow, I would have given anything to be able to do that! I was so jealous of girls, with their colorful clothes which required yards of beautiful cloth, And they way they could use their ah, limbs, to advantage. Not just limbs, but hair, eyes, everything. And so neatly made, to my gangly, well never mind. I admired them. And they looked like they were having fun, while every male relationship had to begin with a fight. Girls still held hands when I was a boy (I started in 1953), we never did.
I’ve often wondered if my parents made the wrong choice those many years ago when I was conceived
No, they just kept wanting you home for dinner.
Yeah, gocard, you’re in the big leagues up there with Steve M. of NMMNB, when you have Pennis as a troll. It’ll probably double your hits in a week or so.
Round of applause for Cole.
CRA: “Butt-father” should be hyphenated, correct?
I dunno, ask the mpreg writers.
“No, they just kept wanting you home for dinner.”
From what I’ve been told, they cut off a small piece, and decided the rest wasn’t worth eating.
Yeah, societal expectations for boys suck mightily, too. Gotta train ’em up to keep things the way they always were, as bad as it is for everyone. But I still believe girls are at least as vicious to each other as boys are to each other, but girls have learned to do it without getting into physical fights (for the most part).
“Round of applause for Cole.”
Just fabulous the way he stands up and does his family duty, when the circumstances he describes would make it almost impossible for most people!
I know that if I made twice as much as my wife, and was expected to support a family, and be a father, I’d resent hell out of the situation.
You’re right, that was thoughtless of me. I try to free myself from biases but back at the support group for adult feral children raised by anteaters, we always used to trash talk the feral kids raised by wolves.
“But I still believe girls are at least as vicious to each other as boys are to each other, but girls have learned to do it without getting into physical fights (for the most part).”
Yowsa! Got a link?
“You’re right, that was thoughtless of me. I try to free myself from biases but back at the support group for adult feral children raised by anteaters, we always used to trash talk the feral kids raised by wolves.”
Thank you Helmut. I knew a gentle reminder would awaken you to the unfairness of your statement.
Actually, I am very grateful to my parents for one thing: I knew by the time I was old enough not to know any better that I was going to do everything in my power to avoid marrying a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad.
“And as a stay-at-home house husband to a working wife that youre dependent on for your blogging livelihood, you finally have a blog topic where you actually could have something to add, this time even in your own words.”
Dennis, “hah-ha, neener-neener, I’m on velvet, you bunch of working drones” may have the requisite succinctness, but it won’t make you lot’s of friends. He’s much better off being modest. I for one, appreciate his modesty.
At least he doesn’t come here and tell us what a good person, breadwinner, partner, and parent he is. That shit is unbearable.
…yet you change nyms and pretend that everyone is ten times dumber …
No, Dennis, not everyone. Just you.
You encourage trollery, DA.
Really, I’m the reason you trolled gocart at his website?
I promise in the future I’ll only use my influence for niceness.
Then you disingenuously thank Cerb for ‘taking out the trash’.
Yeah, that was after a troll used my nym immediately after she ‘took out the trash’, Pennis, so I was sending out whatever the Sadly, No! equivalent of the Batsignal, and to her credit, she deleted the troll using my nym.
But, Cerb being a hater, what’s it to you if I complimented her on administering this blog in a responsible manner.
And everyone knows what you’re doing, yet you change nyms and pretend that everyone is ten times dumber than they actually are and that they’re cool with you and what you do.
Everyone knows that there’s a troll who infests these comments uses various nyms, and I then have to use different nyms when I want to participate in the discussion to avoid being banned for puerile and obscentity-laced comments that I never wrote.
I don’t think you’re that troll, Pennis, but you certainly haven’t been clutching your pearls about him/her before Cerb ‘took out the trash’.
What’s risible is that you always criticize Zython for nym-stealing, but when I take evasive measures against a nym-stealing troll, you’re get into a high dungeon about it, which I suppose is better than a low dungeon. But then, I digress.
What a huge marker of the typical insecure person.
When I referred to the trash, Pennis, how did you ‘know’ that I was referring to you and not the nym-stealer? Telepathy much? In fact, if you’re the trash that Cerb is taking out, that’s got nothing to do with me. I’m not tattling on you, although I can understand the temptation to do so.
And as a stay-at-home house husband to a working wife that youre dependent on for your blogging livelihood,
No, it’s Mooser who has the blogging livelihood, and I apologize profusely that you weren’t in the hot tub when we discussed that subject the other day.
?
hmmmmm…interesting take on this discussion…
In a way, VCarlson, those superficial changes are almost worse than no changes in that society then gets to pat itself on the metaphorical back and pretend that the ingrates still “bitching” about inequality are just never satisfied.
This goes for the Civil Rights struggle, as well.
When things are openly terrible, people have a target; it is easier to explain to people what the problem is; unity can be achieved and common purpose can be shared with similarly disenfranchised groups.
Unfortunately, the aristocracy have become much wiser since the days they sat in the castles and told the peasants to “fuck off,” only to have the nothing-to-lose peasants arrive with torches and pitchforks one day and lop off their giant pointy heads.
Nowadays the aristocrats muddy the waters, turn the people against one another with lies and illusions, and make token “reforms” that don’t actually change the status quo at all.
And we keep falling for it, time and again. What does that say about us peasants?
? –KG
Thanks, KG–I, also, have absolutely no clue where that bitterness (and non-sequitur) came from, but it does illustrate my point about lies and obfuscation on the part of small-minded folks afeared for their petty fiefdoms when threatened with plainly spoken (or written) observation that doesn’t jibe with their fantasy.
I’m sure that honest people didn’t read my admittedly over-long comment as resentful of my family life, even if they disagree with my conclusions. Obviously, the main point of my little essay was that I am a pretty average guy who doesn’t even try that hard, and yet I still have it easier than most women in this here nation of “ours.”
Cole, Cole how old are you? We’ve been through this before! If a child has progressive parents, open to new ideas, how the hell can they rebel? Look, buddy, I came from a place and time of progressive parents and good, well-funded education, where girls where not held back. And for that, they gave their parents Reagen, the Moral Majority, and the new religiosity.
That’s the kind of reaction you’re courting.
Now if you’re parent’s are hidebound conservatives, all you got to do is maybe smoke some pot, and shack up with your girlfriend to achieve adequate rebellion. But you know what, Cole, nobody may forgive me for saying so, but I keep on hearing a “shorter” in my head when I read your post: ‘Oh, patriarchy isn’t so bad, as long as I’m the patriarch.’
If a child has progressive parents, open to new ideas, how the hell can they rebel?
Join the Air Force. Worked for me.
“and I then have to use different nyms when I want to participate in the discussion to avoid being banned”
Or you could attach your website to your name, and we can quickly determine if the comment really came from you or not.
Oh, whoops,Or somebody else could simply attach your website to their fake comment. It’s a hell of a system, ain’t it?
Surprised it took so long for that to get discussed. My contribution: OFFS K-Pax, the trend didn’t start with Murphy Brown. Murphy Brown was created to reflect the trend. There you go again with the lame attempts to shift attention away from the fact that the “problem” is a direct result of policies you support, to blaming it on HOLLYWOOD! LIBERALS!!
WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT WE ARE INNOCENT VICTIMS!!!
The IP numbers are visible. Nobody has to change names unless, by some miracle, the IP number exactly matches that of stupid trolly comments.
So much bickering. And I missed out on the rectal humor from yesterday too. I feel left out.
As a reminder, this delightfully high-class humor looks like this:
e.g.
A man was hospitalized with a Superman™
dollaction figure up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “heroic”.Be here all veal, try the waitress, tip the week, etc. You may now carry on with your regularly scheduled trolling/bickering.
“I’m sure that honest people didn’t read my admittedly over-long comment as resentful of my family life”
Cole, your family life is tons better than any I’ve ever had as a child, and mega-tons better than any I’ve ever been able to produce for myself.
But as your post points out, I’m just a peasent, and I realise it. The aristocratic blood in your veins brooks no obstacles to advancement! They can’t keep you down.
So Cole, you are against the Civil Rights legislation in the US because why? The superficial changes will ameliorate conditions enough to keep us peasants from sacrificing our selves on your behalf?
I smell libertarianism.
I managed to rebel by not being a driven, ambitious, workaholic and by being utterly uninterested in religion and raising a family. I mean seriously, isn’t deciding to live life on one’s own terms regardless of one’s parent’s hopes and dreams really all it takes?
If a child has progressive parents, open to new ideas, how the hell can they rebel?
One of the straightest guys I ever knew, a former neighbor, was a Marine Iraq vet and ardent Christian whose marriage produced five kids in seven years. I was astonished to learn that his father was, or had been, a dippy-hippie type.
Listening to Ke$ha is pretty annoying. I hate it, but the irritant value makes me smile.
“a trend that began with Murphy Brown more than 20 years ago”
Sure, a modern, well educated woman who supports herself forgot the basic birds-and-bees facts because she was engulfed by an erotic tsunami generated by a guy she already discarded. Happens all the time. Not to me, of course, but I never said I was Rudolf Valentino.
Lady Diana Mayo: “W-w-why have you brought me here!”
The Sheik: “Mon Dieu! Are you not woman enough to know?”
What the fuck are you on about Mooser?
Cole’s comment seemed entirely benign to me, but maybe that’s because I’m an aristocratic libertarian.
Wait… No I’m not! WTF?
We’re good at opening jars and killing spiders.
Oh dear. The other day I taught the Doktorling Sonja the knack of tapping around the edge of the jar so as to loosen the seal and make the top easier to unscrew. WE ARE DOOMED NOW.
I have fairly sailed through life acquiring academic degrees, professional contacts, and commendations, while expending the absolute bare minimum of effort to keep out of trouble and get ahead
Lowest-difficulty setting.
“One of the straightest guys I ever knew, a former neighbor, was a Marine Iraq vet and ardent Christian whose marriage produced five kids in seven years. I was astonished to learn that his father was, or had been, a dippy-hippie type.”
And the corroboration just pours in! See how that works? I bet his parents spent all their time kvetching about the US invading helpless countries which can’t harm us. Jeez, could they be any more ignorant of child-raising principles. As far as I’m concerned, the parents might as well ordered Shock and Awe themselves!
“I have fairly sailed through life acquiring academic degrees, professional contacts, and commendations, while expending the absolute bare minimum of effort to keep out of trouble and get ahead”
Probably because you’ve got good legs. I gotta try and get by with a nice rack. No, that’s my natural palmation, I did not have them done.
Texas Congressman: Masturbating Fetuses Prove Need for Abortion Ban
I think this story’s got legs. But scientists say Rep. Burgess (R (like you hadn’t guessed)) is wrong about the Tiniest Tossers.
Wingnuts like to think of the unborn as perfect, innocent, and passive. The masturbating fetus, however, is more like a poster boy for original sin. This enfant terrible is as sinful as he can manage under the circumstances! None among us can say as much.
“What the fuck are you on about Mooser?”
It was his crack about peasants” which set me off. I mean look, I’m literally sleeping on the floor huddled up with animals. If that isn’t “peasant” I don’t know what is. So it hit me kinda hard.
I guess I wasn’t thinking. From human dust to peasant is actually a promotion.
“The masturbating fetus, however, is more like a poster boy for original sin.”
More likely he just knows that the first act performed on him will probably be genital mutilation. Maybe he wants to have something to remember him by.
Well, a third leg anyway.
Thanks, Substance, since the troll in question probably doesn’t have the ability to spook ISPs, I’ll refrain from changing nyms in the future.
That kid didn’t have a foreskin, he had an eightskin.
“but maybe that’s because I’m an aristocratic libertarian.”
No one can ever accuse you of obfuscating that fact, with a nym like “Oregon Beer Snob”. You are an honest person.
Bothering the Burgess
Embarrassing the embryo
Frisking the fetus
Also, too, etc.
Well, a third leg anyway.
I actually removed that joke from my post so somebody else could use it.
I’m honestly not a fucking libertarian, nor an aristocrat.
I am a beer snob, from Oregon.
Unlikely quote of the day:
“Furry Foote, an American Indian of Pine Island, Minn., sent a Maid Marion dress of [illegible].”
You are too kind!
In a way, VCarlson, those superficial changes are almost worse than no changes in that society then gets to pat itself on the metaphorical back and pretend that the ingrates still “bitching” about inequality are just never satisfied.
I maintain we’ve backslid since the 70s when I came of age. There’s lip service given to women’s equality but look at the bitching about Title IX, the whole “wimminz should be in the home raisin babbies”, quiverfull, Promisekeepers phenomenon. It makes me sick, truly it does.
I’ve had to prepare Young Chowderette, studying civil engineering at college, for the envrionment she’ll have to suffer in the working world and it just pisses me off. Her mom and I fought those battles over 30 years ago and we’re still putting up with this shit?
Argh.
Mooser, I think you misread Cole, twice.
A man was hospitalized with a string of sausages up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “wurstening.”
The masturbating fetus, however, is more like a poster boy for original sin.
So sonograms of twin pregnancies = incest pr0n.
Ok, I think I got this:
A man was hospitalized with the French Revolution up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “revolting.”
no… not quite, how bout:
A man was hospitalized with a humble appreciation of the majesty of the universe up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “awesome.”
No, that doesn’t work either, how bout:
A man was hospitalized with the preserved corpse of Roger Ebert up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “critical.”
perfect.
A man was hospitalized with a bottle of whiskey up his ass. The doctors described him as “besotted.”
I man was hospitalized with the corpse of Ayn Rand up his ass. The doctors described him as “Rand Paul.”
I man was hospitalized with a seasoned duck and chicken up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “turducken.”
I man was hospitalized with the long-defunct concept of Senatorial comity up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “hairy.”
Clearly “I man” is “A man” in all those. Fucked up the copypasta, I think I boiled it too long. And three in a row is enough.
For now…
A man was hospitalized with a bunch of golfers up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “classic”.
A man was hospitalized with a bunch of oysters up his ass. The doctors described him as “abed”.
A man was found to have a small angle up his butt. Doctors said it was acute. The operation to removed it was protracted.
“If children are going to grow up to be be self-sufficient, responsible adults, they need to be raised in the proper environment.”
Yes, that is very true, but since children usually have neither the experience or education to determine what “self-sufficient”, and “responsible” means or what a “proper environment” is, they are usually just left with one or both of their parents.
A man was found to have a small angle up his butt. Doctors said it was acute. The operation to removed it was protracted.
Now you’re just being obtuse.
A young fetus was hospitalized with priapism. Doctors described his condition as “swell.”
“I maintain we’ve backslid since the 70s when I came of age.”
B-I-N-G-O!!
I can see the strong right-to-laugh principles in the posters here, and I like it! Every humor-being conceived gets delivered!
“Mooser, I think you misread Cole, twice.”
Wouldn’t surprise me at all. Us peasants don’t read too good.
or at least I hope that’s egg… um, does anyone have a towel?
The Madame’s Secret Recipe for (authentic tasting*) faux semen:
– 1 egg white, separated
– 1 small drop Chlorine bleach
Separate egg and discard yolk. Stir in bleach. Serve as necessary to please the clientele. Discard any portion not consumed within an hour.
__
* You know, just in case you ever need that.
A man was hospitalized with a nymjacking troll up his ass. The doctors described him as “projecting”.
Cole:
I don’t agree. Those changes have kept any number of women from dying of domestic violence and botched abortions, folks of color from being lynched, and GLBT people from being bashed to death. They’ve also moved the Overton window on these social issues.
Whale Chowder:
Women’s issues, definitely. GLBT issues, no. Racial issues … really mixed bag at best, IMO.
“The doctors described him as “projecting”.”
What a sheltered life I’ve led. I didn’t know projection vomiting was such a problem for some people.
“I don’t agree.””
Oh no, the mis-reading is spreading.
“Wanking Fœtus” is an excellent band name.
Mooser, I understand what Cole was going for rhetorically. I’m a little touchy about that train of thought because mostly you hear it from the “class is the only thing that matters; everything else is a distraction” types.
Alert Mr. Thirlwell.
Next time a pregnant woman offers to let you feel her belly you can tell her ‘that’s not kicking’.
“I am a beer snob, from Oregon.”
I finally got a chance (one or two precious bottles) to try some home-made NW beer. It’s very good!
” I’m a little touchy about that train of thought “
So am I. It is incumbent upon us to delineate the problem, first of all, and then using the facts, come to reasonable conclusions. Let’s start by looking at some of the paramters of societal…. holy jeez, look at the time! I got practice, I gotta go. Look, I’ll I can say is, if Cole wants to drive that train of thought, I won’t stand in his way. The bones of moose who did still line the tracks of many NW and Canadian railroads.
The name Santorum has been dribbled all over this thread…
So I hope you enjoy this, made the day of his concession speech. I was so thrilled, I had to commemorate the occasion with a crude ‘shoop.
A man was hospitalized with nearly a dozen Americas in his ass. Doctors described his condition as “tenuous”.
More ass-related news.
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2013/06/18/daily-show-palin-turd
Goddammit, if you’re going to use the phrase ‘is loath to’, as you have like three times in the last two weeks, SPELL IT RIGHT.
A man went in the hospital with Meriweather Lewis and William Clark up his ass. The doctors had to do an exploratory.
…
…
…
Too soon?
A man was found to have the Silmarillion in his butt. The doctors had to do an appendectomy.
A man was found dead with a seek and find book stuffed up his ass. Murder has been ruled out.
A man was found dead, his rectum twisted as if reamed by a corkscrew. Fowl play is suspected.
DKW – sub-tle.
It was a canard.
A man walked into a hospital with a priest, a rabbi and an imam up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “a joke”.
Wait, I think I told that wrong.
A man was hospitalized with an entire Bjorn Again tribute band trapped in his ass. Doctors say he is recovering.
Trash is taken out. Keep me informed if the garbage truck overflows again.
And yes, it’s all one person. One sad, lifeless, stalking-addicted person.
Fred Fnord-
You know the irony about that. I spelled it right at first and then went back and “fixed” it, because I thought I spelled it wrong. Sigh.
Crissa-
Fuck. And I really liked how she handled Daphne in the comic… sigh.
A man went in the hospital with Meriweather Lewis and William Clark up his ass. The doctors had to do an exploratory.
I worked an event this weekend. The local PD sent two Explorers to help with managing traffic and parking. They told me their names were Lewis and Clark. I think they were bullshitting me, but why? I said “like the famous explorers” and they deadpanned their responses. So odd.
Now masturbating feels productive, so it’s a positive.
A man was found dead, his rectum twisted as if reamed by a corkscrew. Fowl play is suspected.
In case y’all didn’t hear, (some?) ducks have corkscrew penises. I was surprised. There’s a concomitant vagina issue that I won’t get into, but it’s less startling than the external genitalia of an erect male duck.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/22/true-facts-about-the-duck_n_3133072.html
And geez are they noisy when you open the bottle. Almost makes you question the wisdom of keeping a duck in the kitchen.
Dennis,
Your posts do not lead to anger, or pity, disgust, really anything. We kinda hope someone mops up in Aisle 5 at some point, but mostly we are just happy to step over you.
However, you are a truly awful person.
2 cents.
TTFN!, paleo
A man walks into the emergency room, tells the staff he shoved Pennis up his ass. The doctors tell him he’s full of shit.
Republican Party said,
June 19, 2013 at 2:46
I don’t know how much of this to believe. It’s like my whole world has been roughly turned upside down. You’re telling me Cerberus is transsexual? What’s next — Pupienus is gay?
How did I fall in with these people? I feel like a man who was hospitalized with blue balls, and then doctors declared his condition ______. Can’t … even … think!, see?!
Is this thread old enough to go more OT than puns, poop and penis? If yes: anyone use Airvoice? If no: POOP.
Vell, did chu haff dreams uf yer mutter or yer vater?
NO CRYINK! GET AHULT UF YERSELF, DUMMKOPF!!!
A man was hospitalized with a bunch of legal documents up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “waivering”.
Anyone got some coke? I’ll blow a talking flute.
A man was hospitalized with a bunch of legal documents up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “waivering”.
The procedure began with the patient assuming deposition.
Hospitalized with a tag fail.
A fetus was hospitalized with are you kidding me.
Sigmund Freud the Sea Monster said,
June 19, 2013 at 3:12 (kill)
Anyone got some coke? I’ll blow a talking flute.
One of my first educational experiences in psychology courses on psychtotherapy was learning that Sigmund Freud was a proponent of “nasal sex”, believing that one could affect the pleasure centers of the brain by prodding digits or needles up the nasal cavity. His belief was that this would get to the point of sexual gratification much more easily than the whole thing with the genitals and so on.
Finding out Freud had a cocaine problem helped bring why he had this idea together.
A man was hospitalized with Wonder Woman’s invisible jet up his ass. Doctors say that they’ve never seen anything like it.
Man hospitalized with a sheep in his ass. Doctors are concerned about internal bleating.
One of my first educational experiences in psychology courses on psychtotherapy was learning that Sigmund Freud was a proponent of “nasal sex”, believing that one could affect the pleasure centers of the brain by prodding digits or needles up the nasal cavity. His belief was that this would get to the point of sexual gratification much more easily than the whole thing with the genitals and so on.
Finding out Freud had a cocaine problem helped bring why he had this idea together.
Wow, I didn’t know that.
Sigmund Freud was a helluva guy.
I pick my nose all the time, and I never get any direct pleasure from it. But maybe my fingers are too short?… No, it sucks. In fact the deviated septum makes it worse (thanks, youthful meth intake). Freud can go to hell on this account.
And no, it’s not one person, Cerb. You’re an idiot for repeating that lie. It’s not even two people.
Then is it 1/2 a person, Dennis? Your language suggests that the only alternative.
A man came in with 5 lions lodged in his butt. Doctors described his condition as ‘proud’.
That was so funny, I forgot to laugh, troll.
Why yes, yes I am braising some beef short ribs in old Rasputin Imperial stout or whatever the fuck it is.
Flushed.
Thanks everybody who is keeping me a breast, I mean, abreast of the distraction.
The Chairman of the House Oversight Committee was admitted to the hospital with his head up his ass. Doctors listed his condition as ‘recursive.’
A man was hospitalized with an apostrophe-shaped punctuation mark up his ass. The doctors described his condition as ‘commatose.’
Something something “semi-colon”.
A man was hospitalized with an 18-wheeler full of large intestines up his ass…
The colorectal surgeon knows he’ll get you in the end.
1. Calculator.
2. Doctors thought they could work something out.
A man showed up at the hospital with the Collected Works of Karl Marx up his ass.
Doctors quickly deemed it “Condition Red”.
A born-again former nudist was hospitalized. The doctors confirm that he has re-covered.
Yeah, I did too, Cerberus. My spouse was a bigbig fan. But as they often say, allies can twist the knife much more easily.
1. Calculator.
2. Doctors thought they could work
something outit out with a slide rule.Yes, indeed!
.
How did they turn out?
Deeeelishyoso!
An incontinent onanist was hospitalized with a chafed penis. Doctors described his condition as “touch-and-go.”
Doctors described his condition as “touch-and-go.”
This was private information, but there was a leak.
An incontinent onanist was hospitalized with a chafed penis.
it appears he was born this way…
A man came in the ER with 4 pheasants stuffed up his ass. The doctors pronounced his condition bracing.
The Incontinent Onanists would be a great band name, but the group’s live performances would probably be a bit unusual.
The Incontinent Onanists would be a great band name, but the group’s live performances would probably be a bit unusual.
The front row would need plastic tarps like at a Gallagher performance.
Some instruments can be played with one hand.
A man came in the ER with several buzzards stuffed up his ass. The doctors told his relatives to plan for a wake.
A man campaigned against stuffing things up butts. He was anti-colonialist.
A man was found to have two pair of Levi’s stuffed in his butt. The doctors said the problem was with his duodenum.
A man was hospitalized with 24 cans of beer up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “flat-lined”.
a man came into the er with two wetsuits and a dildo up his ass…the doctors say treatment will be conservative…
A man came in with two bottles of Russian vodka in his ass. The diagnosis was improper pair ‘o Stolis.
A man was hospitalized with a Buick muffler up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “exhausted”.
A man came in with his head up his ass. He was a fundamentalist.
A man was found to have a poltical operative in his butt. The doctors said it was a case of Sigmoid Frum.
A man came in with a classis game in his ass. The Operation was removed.
Prosthetic arm partially stuffed up his ass. Diagnosis: anal fistula.
Kayak. He’d been paddled.
A man came in with a Cinqecento in his ass. He was declared dead by Fiat.
Steel beams. Diagnosis: piles.
A man had a large mass removed from his colon . Doctors were surprised so many parishioners could fit.
A fella came in with a bouquet of herbs up his ass.
Doctors called for a thyme out.
Portlanders interested in great acoustic music should check out my friend Frank tonight at the Goodfoot Lounge. His guitar player, Seattleite Chris Luquette, is one of the great talents going right now (23 years old, ouch).
Two score men were removed from the mans ass. Doctor’s marvelled at his intestinal forty dudes.
Apologie’s for the superflou’s apo’strophe’s.
A man had a large mass removed from his colon . Doctors were surprised so many parishioners could fit.
Two score men were removed from the mans ass. Doctor’s marvelled at his intestinal forty dudes.
people up poopers are even funnier than objects…
A man was hospitalized with Albert Einstein up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “relatively poor”.
A man was hospitalized with Werner Heisenberg up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “uncertain.”
Ross went into the hospital completely naked apart from a pair of y-fronts made out of transparent clingfilm and demanded to see a psychiatrist. The shrink said: “no need to wait for a diagnosis I can see your nuts already.”
A man was hospitalized with bottles of soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, wine, lemon juice, a large head of garlic, salt and pepper up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “marinated.”
Male patient admitted to ER with complaint of constipation and inability to pass legislation. Visual examination revealed colonic impaction by the 113th US Congress. Patient was admitted for observation and further lobbying. His condition is listed as “Capital.”
A man was hospitalized with an nipple clamp assembly line crammed up his rear end. His condition was described as sadist factory.
Despite tying a rope to the handle, the bucket still got stuck. Doctors say the man is doing “well”.
“the notion of someone saying “fuck” in this day and age is a shocking taboo we’re all supposed to ooooh over”
Ahem….someone (I won’t say who) got written up by HR for saying this in the hallway at work just last week. Some taboos die hard.
Steel beams. Diagnosis: piles.
“Oh, gird my loins! I mis-heard. I could have sworn you said ‘girder’.”
Ahem….someone (I won’t say who) got written up by HR for saying this in the hallway at work just last week. Some taboos die hard.
I heard about a man who was fired for telling his boss, “go father yourself.”
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own butt?
Some guy came in to the ER with the Whole World up his ass.
A nurse was heard to remark, “It’s in God’s Hands”.
his name was Atlas
Man came in with Jack Lalanne up his ass. Doctors said his condition was well preserved.
Man came in with G. I. Gurdjieff in his colon. Doctors said his symptoms were mystifying.
Nietzsche. Condition: abysmal.
He had a broom in his ass. They said he was bewitched.
A man was hospitalized with Paula Deen up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “buttery” and “racist.”
Swarm of Aedes* aegypti up his ass. Doctors said he was fevered.
*Why yes, I am a crossword puzzle fan! How did you know?
did someone say paula deen? this never disappoints…
Windscreen up his ass. Doctors were Perspexed.
Nietzsche. Condition: abysmal.
Again with the existential threats.
When you stare too long into the — no, wait, I think Substance McGravitas has prepared some GIFs along those lines.
Without clicking I’m gonna bet that’s the slowed-down donut-bacon-cheeseburger video…
Remember, kids, rape is ALWAYS the woman’s fault
Just ask the commenters here. There are so many good reasons to hate the human race.
Is she Gunga’s sister?
“A young intern was assigned to the ER in his first week at a new hospital, and his first case was to remove a bust of Edgar Allen Poe from a man’s anus. Even though the operation went smoothly, which prompted the patient to feel a certain kinship toward the doctor, when the recovering patient asked him if he would work on him if this ever happened again, the response from the doctor was a very terse “Nevermore!”–Dennis
Dennis went long, but it was a good effort. You’ve gotta wonder about this patient. “If this ever happened again” ?! This scenario is totally SNL Appalachian Emergency Room — even more so than the whole schtick we’re mining, if you can believe it. SNL skits
Any talk of mining, probing, digging deep, exploring this subject is only going to inspire MacSub.
I do have a tunnel screensaver I can modify…
Nietzsche. Condition: abysmal.
The doctor said the worst part was how it stared back and SHUT UP SMUT.
Her recipes are like a suicide note.
Without clicking I’m gonna bet that’s the slowed-down donut-bacon-cheeseburger video…
indeed…i live for the sound effects…
PT presents w/ complaint of rectal discomfort. Dx: celery ribs* inserted into colon. Admitted PT after a good stalking to.
__
* He heard it was like a toothbrush…
* He heard it was like a toothbrush…
why is the celery speaking french?
anyhoo, i made pastel de choclo…effing yum!
Off Topic – MS has completely reversed their position with the XBone. Everything they previously announced as fundamental aspects of the new console and as the future of gaming – all of it is rescinded. Nerdrage wins one.
Wow, and I didn’t even rage. I hope I was well-represented, because i have no idea
A man walked into an emergency room with Ernst Schrodinger in his ass. Doctors called for a cat scan.
A man walked into an emergency room with a map in his rectal cavity. The situation is unfolding.
why is the celery speaking french?
He had yet to finish dressing.
K, it sucks…NEXT!
Damn. James Gandolfini dead at age 51. Massive heart attack.
James Gandolfini Dead
RIP teh ‘dolf’
Two score men were removed from the mans ass. Doctor’s marvelled at his intestinal forty dudes.
That’s as many as four tens! And that’s terrible.
anyone checkin in during Hawks v Bruins? Scribe??@@!!!?
A man walked into an emergency room with a bunch of linemen up his ass, the doctors proclaimed it offensive.
Damn. James Gandolfini dead at age 51. Massive heart attack.
Don Capocollo put a hit on him.
also, too…minnesota haz a sadz…vince flynn gone at age 47…
i have never watched a single episode of ‘the sopranos’…i am told i am missing out on something awesome…i have to admit gandolfini was kinda cute…
Slim Whitman also died.
Slim Whitman also died.
holy shit…i thought he was already dead…i call nick cave for the biopic…
Speaking of the scatological.
New post based on several American Thinker articles.
Sad to hear about Gandolfini. One of the best TV series EVAR.
.
A man walked into an emergency room with Ernst Schrodinger in his ass. Doctors called for a cat scan.
A second opinion is required to make it a pair o’ docs.
Sometimes it’s all I can do when encountering a particular refrigerated case not to regale the interior of Whole Foods with a cry of ‘Seitan! Seitan! Seitan!’