He would go to the Applebee’s Salad Bar, but the Gynocracy blew those up when they blew up the global economy with their insidious femaleness.
Bobo Brooks*, The Motherfucking New York Times:
Why Men Fail
Bobo has always been bad. Bobo has always been stupid. Bobo has always organically harvested his factoids from deep within his large intestines.
But dear Bob in Himmel, I think he’s getting worse. And really, it was entirely predictable. Bobo has always been a conservative affirmative action hire paid obscene wealth to throw a tiny veneer of college-date-rapist psuedo-intellectualism over the most noxious of right-wing beliefs in order to better sell rationalization to irredeemable fucks who need a reason to justify living in actually diverse cities and still fantasize about 50s era social mores with late 1800s economic policies. And now that the conservatives have unleashed their collective ids and begun drawing on the walls in their own feces, David Brooks found his fig leaf of dignity getting smaller and smaller until eventually he was forced to just give in and produce the same authority-worshipping, conspiracy-laden, female-fearing nutjobbery as your average American Genius article.
Don’t believe me?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- The uppity wimminfolk iz stealing er jobs because their flighty vapid whore natures are better adapted to the current Mad Max style economy than genuinely competent world-rulers like teh menz.
Yeah. It has been more than apparent that there hasn’t been such a thing as an “intellectual” conservative for a long fucking time. But now I think we’re entering the era where conservatives aren’t even producing people who can poorly fake it. And that’s using the low fucking bar that is always given to these hacks.
So with no further ado, let’s just jump right in shall we?
You’re probably aware of the basic trends.
I want you to meet two people. Sweeping Generalization**** and Intentional Vagueness. We’re all going to become fast fucking friends this post.
The financial rewards to education have increased over the past few decades
Pull the other one, it’s got bells on! Yeah, college graduates are in such good financial straights these days compared to the dark days of the 50s when they were practically guaranteed at least comfortable middle class employment.
Fuck, not only is the cul-de-sac of most college graduate lives working fucking retail with fucking graduate school level degrees, college education has become nigh on required for even shit-level jobs. I’ve seen my fair share of part-time retail positions that straight up require Bachelor’s Degrees. As in, if you haven’t completed at least one level of secondary education, you can’t even survive the fuck you section of resume screening for a job that pays minimum fucking wage.
And beyond that, there’s also the intangibles. Even if college graduates were getting three houses and a ferrari, there’s the crippling amounts of student debt that every student is saddled with, ensuring that most graduates only start actually earning money in their late 50s or 60s. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if most college graduates didn’t know what a savings account was since the idea of having a “surplus” after payday that you could actually “save” with is a quaint notion that died before most of us recent graduates were even born.
After that, there’s the complete loss of a concept of a job with “benefits”. We react with a sort of amazed awe when one of our friends grabs one of those illusive jobs and actually gets to have health insurance. And jobs that have meaningful health insurance are treated much like Bigfoot myths, never seen, but always talked of.
But yeah, it turns out that even after just straight up ignoring all of that shit, Bobo couldn’t even get his facts straight. College graduates aren’t doing better. In fact, they’re doing about 12 percent worse by median income adjusted for inflation and unemployment. The only numbers that say that college graduates are doing better are the ones that factor out unemployment and underemployment or use the mean income instead so they can factor in the various doofus-eyed heirs of the various Fortune 500 companies.
But hey, why let reality get in the way of a good hardy whine about how the menz are being oppressed by the gynocratic femocracy?
, but men failed to get the memo.
In elementary and high school, male academic performance is lagging. Boys earn three-quarters of the D’s and F’s. By college, men are clearly behind. Only 40 percent of bachelor’s degrees go to men, along with 40 percent of master’s degrees.
Oh hey, this shit again.
As I noted the last time, the reason he has to hide in the relative comparison of male and female performance records is the fact that the raw numbers rather directly point out that men have been doing the same that they have always done, getting the same grades, going to college at the same rates, and graduating at the same rates.
All the “oh noes, menz is failing, unthinkable” shit is the blowback from women doing better, improving their grades, going to college more, graduating from college more.
Cause if men are doing better than women, it must mean that it is a natural demonstration of man’s inherent superiority over the lesser sex. But if women end up proving that wrong and actually impressing slightly over teh menz, that just means that cheating women are hamstringing their rightful conquerors.
If you think this reasoning seems suspiciously sexist and much like the panicked cry of an over-privileged hack who is starting to worry that his little rich white male world is starting to be invaded by the untermenschen, well, I don’t know what to tell you.
Cause yes. That’s exactly what this is. For all that blather about a level playing field and market forces, you sure don’t actually like the taste of a fair fight, do ya?
Thanks to their lower skills, men are dropping out of the labor force. In 1954, 96 percent of the American men between the ages of 25 and 54 worked. Today, that number is down to 80 percent. In Friday’s jobs report, male labor force participation reached an all-time low.
No other explanation whatsoever.
I mean, we just woke up one morning, having changed nothing about our economic system, our relationship to taxes and corporations, nor our economic condition, and boom, suddenly there were all these men on the side of the road begging for a job.
Obviously, the only explanation is that a cabal of cat-loving witches have been directly sabotaging male students and leaving them unskilled and incompetent compared to robust older gentlemen such as the esteemed Bobo Brooks.
What was that? Something about a depression, the looting of the American economy by a cabal of short-term-fixated pirate capitalists who’ve found it easier to short-sell the remains of the current infrastructure than actually create something of worth, the devaluing/over-pricing of college education?
No, not ringing any bells. I’m gonna stick with my witch theory.
Millions of men are collecting disability.
Ah, Intentional Vaguness and Sweeping Generalization are cuddling. That’s so cute. They really are a great couple.
Gosh, millions of MEN, because MALE disabilities are the only ones that matter, donchaknow are in the millions, MILLIONS. And millions is a REALLY BIG NUMBER, like when we say some podunk research grant is MILLIONS OF DOLLARS so OMG, it must be personally responsible for the debt crisis.
Yeah, I actually am finding difficulty in finding records for disability that go far enough back, but this social security disability program stat page goes back to 1997. And in 1997, the raw number of new applicants just for this particular federal program was over a million. The number of people on the program itself was over 4 million. And this is a program that, by last record, caps out at a little under 9 million current enrollees when the actual disabled population of America is about 54 million by some studies and has also been estimated by census reports to be about 25% of the population.
I guess a lot of “poor people earn their poverty by being lazy” types have been trying to feed this talking point about how the disability number has been jumping up a lot lately. Cause you know, it’s filled with “those people” lying about disability to get on the federal dime. I’d give Bobo some credit for only dipping a toe in here, but this sentence really doesn’t make any fucking sense unless you buy this conspiracy theory that there are hordes of unemployed fully-able jackasses jumping on the free government money train.
I mean, yeah, sudden disabilities. That have nothing to do with our population being made to work longer and to a greater age before retirement and social security. That have nothing to do with more and more Americans doing without health insurance or health care so that they don’t get treatment on a treatable issue before it grows into a major disability or illness. That have nothing to do with declining safety regulations in workplaces due to penny-pinching managers trying to play fast and loose with the bottom line. That have nothing to do with the dramatically reduced safety training new hires get in their jobs. That have nothing to do with everyone being worked harder for more hours, with less help. That have nothing to do with more and more people working multiple part time jobs sacrificing their health and well-being and ability to pay 100% attention to their surroundings. That have nothing to do with suspect shift scheduling that has someone work til midnight closing a store then coming back in a few hours for the morning shift. That have nothing to do with lowered nutrition and other issues due to poverty or the lowered environmental states most people live and work in. That have nothing to do with the various issues seen most in the South that make it so 40% of disabled people come from there. That have nothing to do with the 2 long extended wars in recent memory that have been chewing up and eating young men by the truckload.
Nope, it’s somehow just caused by… women… somehow… I don’t know how, but I’m sure if we denied them an education, then somehow this issue would be completely fixed.
Even many of those who do have a job are doing poorly. According to Michael Greenstone of the Hamilton Project, annual earnings for median prime-age males have dropped by 28 percent over the past 40 years.
Man, I’m so glad that this wasn’t at all caused by the 1% stealing all the increased productivity of our society in stagnant wages for the past couple of decades and is instead just the result of women using their evil succubus powers to steal the intelligence of would be John Galts.
Otherwise we’d have to solve this issue in a way that would cause Bobo to have a really big SAD.
Men still dominate the tippy-top of the corporate ladder
Well thank Bob for that. I was getting worried there for a second.
because many women take time off to raise children,
HA HA HA HA!
No seriously, go fuck yourself Bobo.
but women lead or are gaining nearly everywhere else.
EVERYWHERE ELSE! Look behind you as you walk down the street, and you can see them, the walking vagina carriers as they move inexorably closer. You want to stop in the bathroom for a piss, but you can feel their high heels getting closer closer closer.
And then when you least expect it, you awake clad in an apron and wig as your high powered businesswoman wife tells you to make sure the house is cleaned, the kids are taken care of, and dinner is in the oven before she gets home because she’s going to have a really big meeting and isn’t that worth so much more money than you could ever earn in your life.
This is the future, unless brave young men like you find a way to save us!
Women in their 20s outearn men in their 20s. Twelve out of the 15 fastest-growing professions are dominated by women.
Well yeah. That’s what happens when you foist all the over-worked, underpaid, understaffed, undervalued gigs on women and piss on them socially.
Yeah, women have done relatively okay in the depression because it’s really difficult to fire them by the truckload in the professions they dominated because there really isn’t much more to cut there. Teachers, nurses, child-care professionals are already handling super-human work loads for pay so insulting for the degree they might as well be paid in peanuts. Oh sure, they are trying to find ways to cut these populations even smaller out of some misplaced belief that we all need to suffer equally for our Austerity Worshipping Overlords, but still.
The reason, male-dominated sectors were hit worse was because they could still fire people and slash wages without completely derailing the system and crashing it into a mountain. You can claim it as a benefit or women “winning”, but that’s just stupid.
If you push two people off a ladder, do you say the one lower down “won” because they sustained fewer injuries on the way down?
No, not unless you are Bobo Brooks and desperately hoping people will blame that bitch who wouldn’t sleep with him for the crimes his BFFs in Big Business committed.
Over the years, many of us have embraced a certain theory to explain men’s economic decline.
A certain theory, eh? Is it the aforementioned race to the bottom, the stagnation of wages? The decline of male-dominated sectors such as construction workers and factory workers? Ooh, maybe a full examination of how the upper class has been exploiting white male resentment of the growth of a level playing field between them and women and minorities in order to encourage them to abandon economic policies that benefit them and instead adopt and defend economic policies designed to screw them over royally?
It is that the information-age economy rewards traits that, for neurological and cultural reasons, women are more likely to possess.
Of course… That was totally going to be next on my guesses.
No, sorry, I’m not at all following. Can you explain it without the conspiracy-soaked stupid?
To succeed today, you have to be able to sit still and focus attention in school at an early age. You have to be emotionally sensitive and aware of context. You have to communicate smoothly. For genetic and cultural reasons, many men stink at these tasks.
So that would be a no then?
Yep, apparently Bobo has been cuddling a bottle of Jack Daniels for a while now over this news that lady brains don’t actually overheat with education and has been struggling to rationalize why teh menz are being teh strangled in teh cribz.
So just like the immense insane bullshit of last time, he’s decided to just try and figure out how gender stereotypes are being fucked over by feminazis changing the game on everyone.
And as last time, I’ll point out yet again that men aren’t actually doing any worse, at all. Even slightly.
So all the whining stinging tears about how evil feminazi union thug teachers aren’t recognizing the sexy James Dean rebel hearts of nubile young boy rambunctiousness really don’t apply to the real world any more than his secret database of sociopath slash-fic where the dashing masculine hero swoops up his Gary-Stu and acts cold and emotionally distant to him.
But, in her fascinating new book, “The End of Men,” Hanna Rosin posits a different theory.
Hanna Rosin, huh? Yes, cause when I think non-psuedo-scientific scholarly feminist critique, I always turn to the nepotism-beneficiary wife of the Slate editor whose “even the liberal feminist…” style posts have been featured at such cherished intellectual icons as Slate, the Atlantic, and the New Fucking Republic.
Yeah, before we get into Bobo’s latest love-affair of psuedo-science repackagings of old sexist stereotypes (but see it’s okay, because it includes some generic girl power sprinkles to pour on the horseshit sandwich), I guess I should respond to this book and the article that spawned it.
Yeah, no, fuck that, Jezebel already ripped that shit up enough for me, so I’ll just have you read that instead.
Let me instead just say that psuedo-intellectual faux-feminist tomes on “hey, girls aren’t being oppressed, but teh menz are” are one of my least favorite forms of literature, just below chick tracts and wingnuts trying to write academic papers.
It has to do with adaptability. Women, Rosin argues, are like immigrants who have moved to a new country.
Oh good. Going in, I was concerned that we wouldn’t be able to insult two minorities with the same analogy. Luckily we dodged that bullet.
They see a new social context, and they flexibly adapt to new circumstances. Men are like immigrants who have physically moved to a new country but who have kept their minds in the old one. They speak the old language. They follow the old mores.
You see, women bend and stretch to new experiences, being widened and enriched in the process as the new circumstances flow into them. Whereas men are rock rigid and stuck in their old ways, unable to bend or flag to new events. Just trying to brute force shove their way in to success.
Men are more likely to be rigid; women are more fluid.
OH MY FUCKING BOB!
He actually did fucking spell it out. I think at this point, Bobo has completely surrendered and has decided that if he can’t retain his dignity, he might as well make himself unmockable by providing his own self-satire.
This theory has less to do with innate traits and more to do with social position. When there’s big social change, the people who were on the top of the old order are bound to cling to the old ways. The people who were on the bottom are bound to experience a burst of energy. They’re going to explore their new surroundings more enthusiastically.
Rosin reports from working-class Alabama. The women she meets are flooding into new jobs and new opportunities — going back to college, pursuing new careers. The men are waiting around for the jobs that left and are never coming back. They are strangely immune to new options. In the Auburn-Opelika region, the median female income is 140 percent of the median male income.
It’s called privilege, dumbasses.
It’s not some new genetic neurological dynamic where women are inherently vagina-like, whereas men are walking penises trying to force themselves in a space they don’t belong.
It’s just ordinary privilege. Women are used to getting fucked by society. Fucked in so many incredibly infinite ways. Thus when the shit gets ugly, they are used to it. Just like those of us on the bottom of the economic ladder didn’t really bat an eye when “OH NOES, WE HAVE TO CALL IT A… RECESSION” hit, because we’d already been living in a depressed economy for years and were used to jobs being a quaint fiction.
Yeah, I imagine there is a population for whom their whiteness and maleness has protected them until the day the economic monsters they enriched and empowered turned on them. Hell, you can see the shocked and angry faces of white middle class new liberals as they struggle to deal with the fact that they are now being treated as no different than the niggers and the bitches.
And they aren’t stuck because their brains can’t process new stimulae, but because they’ve allowed themselves to get lazy about their privilege and assume their good fortune and ease of life was due to “winning the game of life on their own merits” instead of getting a free ride to third base every at-bat.
I imagine many more people will be shocked and “abandoned by their gynocratic overlords” as more and more of the 99% join the population of the fucked over.
And yeah, shock of all shocks that the men in more sexist lands are acting the most privileged about their recent unemployment. Gawrsh, I bet young men are better at this “adaptation” than the older generation. What really? No! Must be their feminization and Facebooking and not at all because the kids today just expect to get fucked as a first resort.
Rosin also reports from college campuses where women are pioneering new social arrangements.
Well, that’s Impressively Intentionally Vague. I’m not sure what you could be talking about. Let’s see, new social arrangements… oh wait, but women… and let’s see college-
No no no no no-
The usual story is that men are exploiting the new campus hookup culture in order to get plenty of sex without romantic commitments. Rosin argues that, in fact, women support the hookup culture. It allows them to have sex and fun without any time-consuming distractions from their careers. Like new immigrants, women are desperate to rise, and they embrace social and sexual rules that give them the freedom to focus on their professional lives.
Why not?!? Why not have a fucking tangent about the goddamned non-existent “hookup culture” (otherwise known as how “the kids” have interacted with each other since at least the late 60s if not earlier)? And then we can rant about how Sandra Fluke wants everyone to buy her infinite condoms for her endless gangbang parties and other insane sexphobic hysterics old bitter white men can use to demonstrate how out of touch they are.
Yes, women being attracted to a “new” arrangement wherein they can enjoy the same youthful pursuits men are encouraged to pursue openly and exploring themselves, their desires, and their sexualities without instantly marrying and dropping out of college like an idiot must be a result of them being corrupted by fiery latina immigrantes.
Not at all a byproduct of feminism’s victories over the last couple of decades fighting for the right of a woman’s sex drive to exist and allowing people to figure out what they want without being forced into arbitrary and problematic relationship structures. Nor has it proven healthier as the delayed marriage ages have resulted in fewer divorces and happier couples. And the egalitarian relationship models have ended up with fewer couples being destroyed by trying to live up to gender role ideas of what a “couple” should look like regardless of what works best for them. Even if that model means rejecting relationship labels entirely, finding a polyamorous or non-traditional structure works best, or that there’s really no shame in knowing that you really aren’t a good person in a commitment, but you can be a loving caring person in casual sex.
Ha ha, what am I talking about? Obviously, all this is secret commie liberal code for unleashing our horde of feminazi bot women on campuses where they fuck the men dry as their cold metal hearts are unable to process love or their proper duty to hearth and home in their single-minded zeal to steal all jobs from men in the selfish fulfillment of the “career” check-mark.
Goddamn whore robots.
Rosin is not saying that women are winners in a global gender war or that they are doing super simply because men are doing worse.
So allow me to say that on her behalf.
She’s just saying women are adapting to today’s economy more flexibly and resiliently than men. There’s a lot of evidence to support her case.
Yes, it sure was incredibly flexible and resilient of women to have the careers in which they constituted a majority be horribly mistreated for decades before the market crash so that they’d be too underemployed and underpaid to be fired!
And a stroke of brilliance to engineer their own deliberate exclusion and discrimination from male-dominated fields like construction and factory work. It sure was smart of them to be routinely fired, harassed, and blocked from this once well paying career path for non-college-educated people!
And whichever feminist thought it would be great to be discriminated out of well-paying middle class jobs that were ripped apart when the bottom fell-out of the economy? Fucking brilliant.
Man, if women hadn’t arranged all that, they would never have been “inherently resilient and flexible” to survive the current economy…
And by survive I mean not, seeing as how even with the Doom Blade of a current economy, many more women are below the poverty line than men and are more likely to be the single parent raising kids in poverty**.
But hey, they must be doing better. Relative statistics would never lie!
A study by the National Federation of Independent Business found that small businesses owned by women outperformed male-owned small businesses during the last recession.
See, women small business owners did slightly better during a single subset of the Second Great Depression. Obviously women are doing better than men in every regard.
Nope, I don’t want to hear any blather about how women still only earn around 70 cents on the dollar for what men earn for similar jobs or how jobs for women requiring a certain education level are paid obscenely less than those for men.
Female small business owners outperformed male small business owners in a brief window of time. The sexes are equal now, goodnight!
What? You actually want to see what study I’m referencing… Um, how about some non-sequiturs instead?
In finance, women who switch firms are more likely to see their performance improve, whereas men are more likely to see theirs decline.
Yeah, I imagine women who escape abusive, harassing, and sexist firms to join firms that actually listen to their ideas and don’t treat them like a walking pair of free-lance boobies indeed see their performance improve.
And I imagine that talentless boy’s club hires who rode the nepotism train all the way to the Peter Principle station find their fortunes plummet now that they don’t have the old network around to shift the blame and an underpaid female secretary or intern to fix their mistakes.
That’s not about flexibility. That’s just what happens when you spend all your time bitching about diversity instead of actually deserving the riches that fate and connections have brought you.
There’s even evidence that women are better able to adjust to divorce.
I know he intends this as a “bitch women are able to move on and fuck that new guy who doesn’t even deserve her even though my heart is still breaking”, but I can’t help thinking:
“Why yes, indeedy, I imagine that women who manage to escape abusive relationships they already wasted countless hours trying to single-handedly save by their own martyrdom (because keeping a relationship functional is a woman’s job donchaknow) do indeed find their sudden singleness a relief. And as demonstrated by the sum-total of every writing by MRAs and “pro-life” men everywhere, said abusive men never really get over the shock of finding out that their rightfully property turned out to be a human being and indeed could walk right out on them and stop putting up with their bullshit. Again, losing privilege is not the same as oppression or equality, it’s just losing privilege.”
Today, more women than men see their incomes rise by 25 percent after a marital breakup.
Hey guys! Guys! I peeked into the bedroom on my way to the toilet and I say Intentional Vagueness and Sweeping Generalization making out! I know! Soooo cute!
Oh right, transparent statistical chicanery. Yeah, I already covered this in my poverty link above, but the government’s census data notes that single female families versus single male families are 3 times more likely to be below the poverty line. All sane studies on the subject show that economic fortune for men and women after a divorce even with the misandrist sin known as child support is fucking stark with men usually ending up doing multitudes better financially than they were before.
So in order to deny this brutal reality, we get a lovely little three-card-monte by noting that women’s “income” “rose” by a bunch. See, it’s not their wealth, which tends to go swimming down the toilet. It’s just their income.
What’s that? A woman who was told to quit her job to become a stay-at-home mother having to return to the work force to raise their kid would see a dramatic increase from 0 to salary that would skew the results like crazy?
No, you must be mistaken. Tell you what. While you double-check the math, I’ll just assume it’s infinitely correct in order to protect my belief in the oppression of once mighty men by the Vaginocalypse.
K, thanx, bye.
Forty years ago, men and women adhered to certain ideologies, what it meant to be a man or a woman.
Oh wouldn’t you like to come
Back underneath my thumb
In a Patriarchy’s Garden
You would know your place,
Below the human race
In a Patriarchy’s Garden
Young women today
Those durn whippersnappers!
Rosin argues, are more like clean slates, having abandoned both feminist and prefeminist preconceptions.
Yes, women are blank empty non-people with no need for either equality nor oppression and are thus free from both.
And this is why I went on a little rant earlier about this “feminist” “author”.
Men still adhere to the masculinity rules, which limits their vision and their movement.
And obviously, the only one to blame for stifling men with gender roles that constrain their possibilities, is women and feminists. Because those bitches always be on about enforcing constricting gender performances.
If she’s right, then men will have to be less like Achilles, imposing their will on the world, and more like Odysseus, the crafty, many-sided sojourner. They’ll have to acknowledge that they are strangers in a strange land.
I IZ STILL SMART! I’Z WENTS TO IVY COLLEGE! I KNOW REALLY BIG WORDS AND COMPARE THINGS TO GREEK MYTHS AND BOOKS THAT ARE ON HIGH SCHOOL READING LISTS! RESPECT ME! PLEASE GOD KEEP RESPECTING ME!
I looked behind me the other day… there was a woman back there, marching inexorably closer to my conservative affirmative action position as a dimwitted conservative moron aping faux-centrisms. And I think I saw some queer abstract concepts making out in the break room with their hookup culture sluttiness. I’m so scared. What if the privilege can’t protect me? What if I have to get a real job?
If only someone could force the women back where they belong…
Save me Romney, Wan Smiler, you’re my only hope.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Charting Bobo’s descent into full-bore MRA so you don’t have to is invented by me. Cause someone needs to***. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
***Seriously, not only is every single high profile newspaper, magazine, and online magazine pretty much easy marks for every single “sexism is over and it’s really women who are the real sexists because having boobs is worth all the real political power in the world” psuedoscience study ever, but they’re giving way more editorial space to full-on MRA assholes like Bobo than they would ever give to an actual feminist. And if they bother to include a feminist after all this, it’s usually a “feminist” like Rosin. And these idiots wonder how we’re still in a world where one political party thinks that women have anti-rape protection on their vaginas and the least controversial abortive surgery is the harvesting of live viable babies in service to a dark God. In short, fuck the fucking MSM.
****Passive Voice kicked out of the party because I hadz a brain fart.