Happy Father’s Day (in SadlyTime)

I’m pretty sure the source of your wife leaving you has more to do with that hideous part than anything else.

W. Bradford Wilcox*, National Merci Beaucoup:
Happy Fatherless Day

Father’s Day, like Mother’s Day before it, can be a very complex holiday. It can bring joyous thoughts, like thinking of your gay dads and the sunny halcyon days of youth accompanying them to the heterosexual reeducation camp to laugh at the chained up straight people. It can bring painful thoughts, intense triggering, and weeks of sadness even if the monster who abused you as a child is safely buried under the floorboards where he belongs. It can bring absolutely no thoughts whatsoever, an excuse to call home and check in to make sure ones progenitors have not yet shuffled off the mortal coil.

Speaking personally, I know the holiday has become more… interesting, psychologically speaking, given recent events with my own father. But you didn’t tune in to hear about that, but rather how the various dungeon denizens of the right-wing react to this emotionally pregnant (give a pregnant dad a hug) holiday. Well, to really get into it, we must first-

It’s rage and confusion.

Like with every other holiday… or day for that matter, wingnuts have been responding to Father’s Day with unfocused hatred of those they see as transgressing the “natural order” and thus “ruining” their unearned celebrations of being born at the top of the piggy pile.

But hey, I suppose it’s understandable, given that I doubt they receive many calls home from their estranged and terrified children on these days.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Damn bitch dun took my kids… I mean… damn bitches, taking away America’s children and sticking the government with the bill rather than living in abusive cages and worshipping the penile rule of their husband overlords!

Or alternatively:

Verbatim tagline:

  • As marriage declines, fewer fathers will have real relationships with their children.

It’s been rather… instructive to watch in real time as the right-wing’s usage of the word “marriage” to mean “enforced patriarchal model of ownership by a husband of his wife and children held in abused terror” has become more and more blindingly obvious as more and more people have begun questioning and poking at this construction.

I mean, they did all right for a time, casually referring to their worries about how divorce might be affecting “marriages” and were “breaking up the family” while everyone nodded their heads and pretended they were speaking a shared language. And there were even a few optimistic souls willing to try and grant some good faith credit to the homophobes freaking out that gay people seeking entry into traditional wedding ceremonies was somehow a threat to marriage.

But at this point, with the social power of conservatives to shame and destroy any woman who dares think of improving her life by dumping an abusive husband or two Arabic men who dare dream of the picket-fence fantasy conservatives reserved for white straights only at an absolute nadir, the masks have quickly come off in last-ditch efforts hoping to remind the world to crawl back in its cage and forget the last 50+ years ever happened.

Needless to say… it’s not going particularly well for the forces of marriage as ownership model.

Today, marriage is less likely to ground and guide American family life.

For instance, here we see the dog whistle turned up so loud and low-pitched that passing ships can easily mistake it for a foghorn.

The recent response from the left to the nation’s retreat from marriage is instructive.

I’m only expecting wonderful things from a setup like this. One sec. Popcorn acquired and…


Just “live with it,” says sociologist Philip Cohen in The Atlantic. Ezra Klein assures us in the Washington Post that as marriage breaks down, “space will emerge for a more practical conversation about how to best support America’s increasingly nontraditional family units.” And Matthew Yglesias notes in Slate that the Left sees an “expansive welfare state” as the primary vehicle for supporting unmarried women and their children.

You may notice that there are no sections of hyperlinked text in that paragraph. Nor were there any in the original post.

That may very well be because even dapper Southern dandy W. Bradford Wilcox the improbably unnumbered understands the considerable risk of getting that concentration of potent anti-fact even remotely close to the fact-infested general surroundings of reality. Like all true scientists working with anti-fact, he knows the importance of working in a hermetically sealed environment where the anti-facts can be safely experimented with and propogated. Luckily for him, the lands where J-Load is considered a “deep and important” figure serve as the perfect testing environment.

So it’s not egregious misquoting and partial quoting, attempts to use translations of dog whistles to make it seem like reasonable statements were universal calls to arms, and a nudging “wink wink” elbow in the eye to the non-nuclear family family structures that used to make up the vast majority of familial models until very reasonably.

It’s just a scientist being careful with a volatile sample… of stupid.

Doesn’t that make you feel so much better?

It’s debatable whether the nation has the money, the ability, or the political will to launch new government programs and initiatives dedicated to “supporting America’s increasingly nontraditional family units.” I certainly have my doubts. But at least the Left is honest enough to recognize that less marriage means more government.

It’s almost cute in a way to see him try and run with his little weaselly football into the end zone, unaware that he’s playing on a European football field, wasn’t invited, and is actually completely naked with a ferret attached to his scrotum.

No, see, Matt Yglesias totally said that “nonmarried” people were those welfare queens we so hate and are totes responsible for all that government waste we are assuming that one of the few things with a net positive effect on the economy is. And because he assumed that, we can assume we can’t afford to take care of those bitchy moochers who dare try and live without their husbands income. YOU’RE NOT GETTING ONE RED CENT, MARGARET! Er… uh, BIG GOVERNMENT! Fear response! Fear response! Fear government actually doing something to positively affect people’s lives rather than existing solely as a terrifying Big Brother apparatus built to artificially prolong the coercive power of a broken form of capitalism and half-hearted attempts to enforce the status quo through police state mechanisms. Um…

Oh, mah darling Bradford, no. It’s okay, but… sadly, no.

However, most proponents of the “live with it” approach conveniently ignore, or are in complete denial about, the most fundamental consequence of the American retreat from marriage: growing rates of fatherless families. In our public conversation about how best to accommodate today’s family diversity, what usually goes unsaid is that fewer marriages also means fewer fathers in our nation’s homes.

You know what?

Fuck it. I’m going to try and read this as if it actually was a good faith argument and statement about marriage and not the single most transparent attempt to freakout over the death of the patriarchal model of “Father Knows Best” sitcom fairy tales of what a “father” is “supposed” to mean if you uppity little snot-nosed brats know what’s good for you (and yeah, in retrospect, the bizarre little interlude he did with K-lo suddenly makes a lot more fucking sense).

Let’s begin. Oh noes! He’s right! No one is talking about how fewer marriages means fewer fathers! And fewer mothers too! Because they are real human beings rather than fleeting possessions men use to brag about their masculinity and virility with each other! This pat truism devoid of any actual useful meaning (if you have less money in your bank account and look at it in terms of danish kroner, you still have less money! Oh shock of shocks) sure isn’t at all pointless nothing without a firm understanding of what “traditional marriage” actually means to the professional homophobe crowd!

… Hmm, this task may be more difficult than I previously suspected.

That is because marriage is the institution that binds men to their children. There is no substitute.

Speaking of difficulty.

It’s actually rather important that wingnuts take the time from time to time to really… hammer home what they are getting at. Due to the divide and conquer and gish-gallop argumentation styles that are the right-wing’s stock and trade, it can become a little too easy to become enmeshed in one single bad-faith argument or target of hatred and forget the wider web at work.

By which I mean, it can be easy when focusing on the various bad-faith arguments made about “marriage” with regards to gay rights to forget that the various wingnuts have never gotten over their intense hatred for those uppity bitches who dared shirk their rightful duties to marry young and unhappily settling for whatever man would validate them and “care for them into their old age”. Nor also those even more uppity bitches who would even consider a marriage something one could exit if it didn’t make those within it happy.

And finally, the “parent’s rights” fury at how the society turned all pussy on them and how the government got into the business of actually investigating abusive households and those which viewed the children as the rightful property of the father to use, abuse, and discard as he saw fit and standing up for the rights of children as fully born humans themselves.

Which is also tied to why they constantly try and equate fetuses and tiny clumps of cells as fully born women and children, but that’s a separate rant and I’ve probably already moved too far off topic and contemplative already. So let’s see if we can’t mine some actual funny out of this fucker.

Cohabiting couples with children are much more likely to end up on the rocks than their married peers (even in Sweden). Divorced and never-married fathers often have difficulty getting or making the time to stay in regular contact with their children once the relationship with the mother of their child is over. By contrast, fathers who are married to the mother of their children are much more likely to enjoy the day-in-day-out relationships with their children that enable them to give their kids the attention, discipline, and affection they need to thrive.

Pfft… Ask and ye shall receive.

I’m sorry, but it is truly hilarious the way these patriarchal fuckstains whine about how their all-mighty right to own their wife and children shaped property has been stolen away then try and turn away and use their successes to claim sudden victimhood at their wayward property’s hands.

You have fought over countless centuries to ensure an oppressive system where child care was assumed to be solely women’s work, something beneath men and unworthy of time, attention, focus, or matter, something so crucial that even as you lose the war over women having the right to a career, to control over her own fertility, and slowly to being treated as full human beings rather than sex dispensaries, it is still a strong cultural expectation that the woman take the lion’s share of child care responsibilities so that the man only need enjoy the pleasant aspects of children after his “long day” at work.

And now, you whine when that enforcement means that when your wayward property has had enough of being treated like an abused house slave, they are considered the parent most closely connected with the child because they have been. Because they have been forced into that role by the social power you have exerted over them in hopes that it would drain them from any thoughts of escape or equality.

And it’s even more hilarious to note that it’s simplicity itself for this problem to be fixed. If these “marriage warriors” were even slightly honest in their desires to fix this problem, they could simply stop enforcing artificial divides, participate equally in housework and child care, and stop blocking feminist attempts to open up abilities for men to be primary child care or extensions of parental leave programs to include male-identified parents.

Or even more simply, just giving a fuck about the kids as something more than a tool to hurt one’s malfunctioning lovedoll. Yeah, as a child of a single mother for many years, I didn’t at all miss the little glossing over there of the fact that many “fathers” don’t have a relationship with their kids because they simply didn’t want one. They didn’t want to actually spend time day to day raising their children and cutting into their assumed leisure and work time. Or pay their dues in supporting their wife and kids in child support. Or treat their kids and wife with any of the human dignity they deserve.

Seriously, assorted MRA and MRA-lite douchebags, the “courts” would side with you a hell of a lot more, if you weren’t so trans-fucking-parent about only giving a damn about custody and “where’s the father in all this” when you see it as a tool of trying to bully the mother back into her “place”.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Seriously, though, for those with… fun… relationships with paternal figures, stay safe out there and take care of yourselves. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*And suddenly I’m twelve years old again… hee hee “Will Cocks”…


Craig Groeschel, Fox “News” .com:
Things to Fight for this Father’s Day

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Pussy ass queer faggot lovers whining about “bullying” and “unchecked violence propogated by our unhealthy obsession with toxic masculinity” are distracting us and feminizing us from the true lesson fathers should be instilling in their boys. How to be angry and violent at everything and anything weaker than you in service to an ideal of masculinity based around using violence to avoid looking “feminine”! So go fight something, unless you want to be considered a pussy woman creature.

Oh yes. Indeed. And despite the fact that it’s pretty much one single idea repeated so ad nauseam it actually can make you physically nauseous, it nonetheless has some priceless mangos, such as:

I read a book recently that suggested our culture has tried to turn good men into women—nicer, softer, kinder, more compassionate and fashion savvy. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but men are not women. (For the record, women don’t make good men, either.)

I read it! In a book!

Being a true warrior is about knowing the source of true strength. It’s about knowing your own weaknesses and turning to God to empower you to be the man he made you to be.

Oh the ways in which the macho he-man values of 80s action stars and the more humble “give your ass to God” sentiments of Christian authoritarianism completely fail to mesh will never cease to be hilarious to me.

Maybe you’re thinking, I don’t know, Craig. I’m a laid-back dude, peaceful, live and let live. I’m not really into the whole fight club scene. “Call of Duty’s” an awesome video game, but actually, I don’t even know if I know how to fight.

Totes manly, dude. Totally will disguise the desperate overcompensation and your pants-shitting terror at being considered less than masculine by the abusive system you’re desperately propping up if you praise a video game where you shoot imaginary terrorists, conveniently color-coded, and where bullet-wounds only give you raspberry jam disease instead of actually joining the global conflict you armchair warriored actual poor desperate kids into fighting and dying and suffering untold numbers of psychological health issues on your behalf.

I… I’m not going to top that.

Maybe your kids are making dangerous decisions. Get down on your knees and fight like a man of faith!

Then again…

Draw a line in the sand. Make your enemy pay: Don’t cross a warrior. Don’t mess with this man of God. Come out fighting.

And when you fight—don’t fight clean. Use the weapons God gave you, and you’ll win in more ways than you could imagine. Can you feel it? It’s inside you.

It’s time to fight like a man.

They can’t even fantasize about a fair fight.

But still, useful advice nonetheless. Go out there, Sadly Noizens!, and celebrate Father’s Day like a MAN! Which I can only assume involves punching him in the crotch and running away.


Comments: 249


Re: marriage binds dads kids wev

Along with cohabitating couples, another trend on the rise is dads actually taking part in child rearing. Like diapers and getting up in the middle of the night and actually being aware of their kids as individual human beings. There’s a few non-married couples in my new parents circle, and all of the dads are way moar involved with their young ‘uns then would have been considered socially acceptable in the Father Knows Best world.


Ah, marriage. Worked so well for Rupert Murdoch, who will soon be back on the market for wife #4.


Damn, Wilcox looks like Colin Meloy’s evil twin.


“that the woman take the lion’s share of child care responsibilities so that the man only need enjoy the pleasant aspects of children after his “long day” at work.”

So this implies a woman isn’t a woman unless she can give birth: patronizing sexist pig.


It seems to be an iron-cast rule of the Intertuba that the more social conservatives divorce their way through serial polygamy, the more they insist on the importance of lifelong marriage contracts for everyone else.
If only there were a convenient psychological term for this tendency.


… I kind of like my kids – probably would regardless


What sort of person thinks men are only in their own children’s lives because they’re married to the mothers? And that is this guy’s ideal society? Fucked. Up.


Every time I hear this utter claptrap, I think of a friend who is currently lurching his way through a ghastly marriage to a bipolar alcoholic/addict. They have two small children, and he is cautiously, tentatively working toward getting them out of the presence of his wife, who is far, far too ill to muster the unending amounts of energy and attention it takes to be a parent. He is sad for his wife, but angry about the parts of her behavior under her control and the choices she makes, and he will do anything to see to it that he gets custody of his children. When he goes into a courtroom, he will present quite a different picture from the stereotypical abusive toxic proprietary promiscuous male common to divorce proceedings.

I think he will succeed, because my nephew, in a similar situation that unfolded a couple of years ago, has complete custody of his daughter.

Neither one of them is controlling, abusive, obsessed with first-person shooters, or present for their children only when they are scrubbed, pajamaed, and ready for bed. What they are is captivated at the privilege of parenthood and utterly dedicated to their children’s well-being.

That Mr. Wilcox is screaming himself hoarse promulgating opinions that were common when I was born is a reliable and reassuring indicator that there are ever fewer men like him and ever more like my buddy and my nephew.


Being a true warrior is about knowing the source of true strength.

Because when I think “true warrior”, W. Bradford Wilcox is who comes to mind.

Where do they get this shit?

Get back to me when you’ve got 500 combat hours in your logbook………chickenshit.


Actual quote from Yglesias: “Patriarchal family structures make it possible to get by without a generous welfare state, and an expansive welfare state tends to undermine women’s dependence on men.”



Divorced and never-married fathers often have difficulty getting or making the time to stay in regular contact with their children once the relationship with the mother of their child is over. 

Generalizing wildly here, I’m going to guess that for a lot of those guys “having difficulty getting or making time to stay in regular contact” with their proper- er, children, the “difficulty” always existed, which is why they’re divorced or never married.

Speaking as the child of a many-times married woman (when she died, Mom was married to her 5th husband, and had been for more than 30 years), a good marriage is much better than an unhappy one for all concerned. And I loved my Dad (husband 1) and still miss him terribly (he died June 30 last year, as befits an accountant).


And as for Mr. Groeschel, I’m gonna guess he professes to be a Christian. Does he even know that the guy whose teachings he says he’s following was some kinda hippie dude? All about challenging authority, and , whenever possible, using authority’s strengths against it?


Hate not the player, hate the game.


Wingnuts casually give American clergy a mulligan for accepting (legitimizing) no-fault divorces back in the day & setting the single parent biz ball rolling.


zombie rotten mcdonald

celebrate Father’s Day like a MAN! Which I can only assume involves punching him in the crotch and running away.

If my son tries this, I am blaming you, and billing you for his/my medical bills directly, depending on which one of us comes out the worse.


I posted to the dead thread, so in case you missed it.

It was toronto-related.


Missed the Nexus discussions due to a fuckin’ scooter gaddamned rally, but… no speed issues with mine, so far.

I prefer typing on my Freedom Pro Bluetooth keyboard, but I’m getting pretty good with the touchscreen. What annoys me is that the layout is different than the HTC phone keyboard’s layout.


And who can forget that true paragon of Republican manly-man marriage, Newt Gingrich?


You know, just sayin’, but if you’re concerned about fathers and their influence on kids, gay marriage would allow TWICE the fatherly goodness of traditional straight marriage.

So obviously the kids would grow up twice as good! Q.E.D.

the considerable risk of getting that concentration of potent anti-fact even remotely close to the fact-infested general surroundings of reality

Anti-Fact™, a product of CornerCo Industries. Makers of Doughy Pantloads, the breakfast cereal for underachievers.


Can you feel it? It’s inside you.




Rumproast has some good Father’s Day material, post and comments.


BTW, leave it to a conservative Christian to make God’s influence on one’s life sound like something from the Alien movies.


Ah, the desperate cries of father’s who have been forcefully separated from their child

Or as the worthy young man explained in a personal e-mail to me “bitch committed a crime against me.

You can read the June 23d entry, and decide who is committing a crime.


The link is wonderful! Do read the June 23rd entry! The august young fellow, as he tells the story of a society (not to mention “that bitch”) dedicated to ruining his fatherhood, condemns himself out of his own mouth. Every reason he gives why the child should be given back to him is the exact reason any agency having jurisdiction over this case will never give it back to him!!


“Divorced and never-married fathers often have difficulty getting or making the time to stay in regular contact with their children once the relationship with the mother of their child is over.”

And you can click my link and find out why!


You don’t have to become Jason Bourne or James Bond (Sean Connery or Daniel Craig—not those other wimps) to be a warrior.



You don’t have to become Jason Bourne or James Bond (Sean Connery or Daniel Craig—not those other wimps) to be a warrior.

I said good day, sir!


Sure, i said some things i shouldnt have said out of hurt,anger, from having my child just snatched from me, but I shouldnt have to pay for it for the rest of my life

Imagine the endless remedial writing courses that poor child would have to go through if he did get her back.

Okay, that’s a cheap shot. But he does sound ever so bipolar, and lord knows that’s a nurturing environment for any child, snerk.


God’s in His heaven and Sarah Palin is back on Fox.


What am I, chopped liver?


Palin, the author of two best-selling books, is writing another book focusing on the role of faith and values in Christmas set to be released in November.

Ah, yes, the wingnut low-hanging fruit of the War On Xmas. Always good for a lazily-earned paycheck.


and hands up everyone who thinks The Divine Miss Sarah is actually writing said book.


What am I, chopped liver?

No, but you are dead.


The people who are actually tough don’t go around acting like it.

What an asshole.


Pere, what I have worn to a nubbin clutching to my bosom is the fact that every goddam reason that, that, okay, I’ll say it, Floridian gives for giving him contact is the exact reason they keep him away from the child. Not to mention his desire to control the mother through the child sticks out all over him,
We had a personal correspondence, but I couldn’t find any convincing reason to send him money. Maybe I just don’t like kids.


Oh, speaking of bitches, Dora is recovering quite nicely, I think. We’ll find out Wednesday, but “the bitch is back”, as far as she is concerned.

The black god of time

I’m back, and I realized that I don’t want to have any whiny, chattering, selfish little kids in my life.

It’s amazing what a little walk can do for you.


I don’t get any respect.


I don’t get any respect.

Tell me about it.


I’m back, and I realized that I don’t want to have any whiny, chattering, selfish little kids in my life.

It’s amazing what a little walk can do for you.

Try a trip to the grocery store.

Helmut Monotreme

I’m back, and I realized that I don’t want to have any whiny, chattering, selfish little kids in my life.

There’s only room for one whiny chattering selfish little person in my life, and that’s me. The math is simple: if I have kids, I can’t have more motorcycles.

The black god of time

Yeah, I’d make Todd Palin look like Jim Anderson if I had any kids. They’d probably so screwed up that they’d end up in some disreputable profession, like extortion or banking.

Helmut Monotreme

I would probably be a better father than Kronos, but it would be a near thing.


What am I, chopped liver?

Pretty soon to have quite cycled back up the food chain that far yet, jolly old sod.


I was told I was born on Father’s day. Of course there have been some leap years since then. I find it odd that the math would work out; I’ll be 42 on Thursday.


And yet the math does work — June 20, 1971 was Father’s Day. Well, that story’s one more thing they didn’t fuck up.

The black god of time

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them. Oscar Wilde

Oscar was Wilde but Thornton was Wilder.

The black god of time

I dunno, his mother was artistic, if you know what I mean………


Anecdotal examples make facts, like this one: I’m divorced and put the actual effort toward being a good dad instead of hating the ex wife and the rest of the world. More people should try it.


Dennis, you just make friends all over the place, don’t you?

We don’t hate the world. Just you.


We may be witnessing the longest observed case of butthurt recorded in the literature.


“You threatened ‘to slit’ my throat.”

The meta-data, definitely shows the threat came from someone who was nym-stealing tsam. Before assuming butt-hurt, always check the meta-data, and meet the data-checkers!


BTW, if Thomas Otway is anywhere in the Puget Sound area, I’d like to shake his hand and buy him a drink. Cause when ol’ Tom said:

What mighty ills have not been done by woman!
Who was ’t betrayed the Capitol?—A woman!
Who lost Mark Antony the world?—A woman!
Who was the cause of a long ten years’ war,
And laid at last old Troy in ashes?—Woman!
Destructive, damnable, deceitful woman!”

he was serving it up hot and crisp and just like Mother makes. Just this morning, by dint of threats to terrible to repeat, my ‘helpmeet’ (Hah!) coerced and suborned me into doing w-w-w-ork. Actual like, physical labor. On Fathers day and Sunday, to boot. I survived it, but barely.
I don’t mind telling you people, but please, don’t let it get around.


No, Dennis, it’s just you. I don’t think half the world are assholes.


“Maybe not the whole world, Bitter Scribe, but a good half, at least. And that half you really, really hate.”

My God, Dennis, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that hatred from the Sadly, No! comment page was what is screwing up your life. Maybe if you told us how deeply this hatred effects you, or how our hatred is constantly forced on your notice, we would take compassion on you, and make you one of our own. The initiation isn’t hard, if you don’t struggle.


Dennis: Doctor, Doctor, oy, it hurts when I do this!
Doctor: Well then, don’t do that!


And that half you really, really hate.”

Dennis, for half of us to really, really hate, we would have to be cleaved in twain. And my suits are made for a whole person.


Look, it’s my right-to-laugh beliefs. I believe very strongly that once a humor being is conceived, it must not be aborted! No matter if it’s misbegotten, congenitally defective, or even unwanted and very premature, it gets delivered!

Helmut Monotreme

Being a true warrior is about knowing the source of true strength.

Why is always the warriors they idolize? Why is there no love for men of peace? These rejects never put farmers on a pedestal or bakers or brewers, or anyone quietly earning a living by the labor of their hands, or by mental effort like doctors or professors or accountants? No, they have to imagine themselves as dangerous people whose first and last resort is violence. They always imagine themselves as ‘protectors’ even though warriors historically tend to find some use for those weapons that doesn’t involve practice or polishing or parades. They love the ‘ultimo ratio regens’.
it would be neat to see them idolize someone who can earn a living without the threat of violence. What is so terrifying about taking what you have and building something? What is so unrealistic about trying to avoid violence, and trying to live in peace with your fellow humans and finding a little common ground?


I’m still very confused by all of this, Dennis. I fail to see why it is so important to you that everyone one the comment thread at Sadly, No! have a good opinion of you.
And I also fail to see why the revelation that somebody at the Sadly, No! comment thread has been mean to you is something you think you can hold over the web site’s head? Are we supposed to be afraid we will see a headline at Fox News: ‘People at Sadly, No! comment board are not very nice, says Dennis!’

I mean, what’s your trip?


It’s takes a special kind of liberal hatred to be sitting here commiserating with folks who hate Father’s Day because they hate their dads.”

And here you are, Dennis! A first among equals! You’ve made it! Father’s day and all!


always check the meta-data, and meet the data-checkers!
I meta teh data checkers once and they told-a me is wuz-a teh wrong month.

Dennis, we all love everyone, just allow yourself to be enveloped in our big group hug, feel the feeling, to be the pickle filling in one of those corned-beef and cream cheese snacky widgets. Just conform, Dennis. Be one of us.

One of us (conform).
ONE OF US (con-form-m-m-m).


“Why is always the warriors they idolize?”

Gee, Helmut, you don’t think it’s been reliably proven that a ‘warrior ethos’ is the best way to inveigle young men into stabbing themselves in the back while kicking themselves in the ass by putting their shoulder to the wheel and their best foot forward, and joining the military?


Every word in Cerb’s post oozes with hatred for the world.”

Yeah, I bet ol Cerb shows his “hatred for the world” by not stockpiling weapons and explisives, and even worse, he doesn’t go around threatening people who have been cruel or harmful to him.
I mean what can you do with somebody like that? I mean somebody who’s hate it so strong they write about it, instead of doing something positive, like shooting a bunch of people.

Maybe you should inform the aithourities, Dennis. Tell em that Cerb’s a trained feuilletoniste! That should make ’em turn over a new leaf!


Dennis, you should start a blog for oenophiles. Your every comment is a vintage whine.


With tsam-type bitterness.”

Dennis, it’s a fact: You can’t say tsanta without some of the letters from “tsam”. And that’s no jivaro, baby!


“And you post too much.”

Thanks for reminding me, Dennis. Next time, I ‘ll remember that there are people who are stuck here, and can’t tune in any other website.
Must be awful, sitting at a computer, condemned to look at a website you dislike.
You should try a different browser.


Dennis, why are you so obsessed with whom we hate and don’t hate? We don’t even actually hate you. We just dislike and disdain you, with a vague undercurrent of pity.


But Dennis, if you have such contempt for everyone here, could you fill us in on where being a whiny little punk is the key to happiness, hipness and acceptance?
You keep on trying to pretend there’s some kind of “political” difference between you and us. But you are just an exceedingly tiresome and fatuously unpleasant person. It wouldn’t matter if you are a Lennonist or a grouchy Marxist, you’re a washout, and avidly avoided by all.
All you’re doing here is giving whichever public-spirited person finally truncates your trachea a real good shot at a self-defense plea.


Shorter Dennis: ‘I hate Sadly, No! The articles are poison, and they’re all so damn short,/i>!

(Don’t worry, Dennis, I’ve taken to heed your well-deserved admonishment, and I’m posting much less. Thanks!)


See Dennis! I’m posting a whole lot less. At least 50% less.

St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon

I ultimately have to ask, what are you expecting to occur? What’s the end game here?

So, let’s go here. You’re desperate for a denunciation? You praying that our hateful souls will find salvation? Do you just want us to intellectually acknowledge that we’re as weak as everyone we observe, and that at any given time, our own best efforts are just as stupid and wicked as those we mock? That mockery is itself a terrible habit?

Do you consider yourself some moral gadfly, pushing the buttons that will lead to enlightenment; or do you at the end just doing this because you think it’s a joke, of no greater importance than us talking about penises and shit moats.

I’m talking to the regular here wearing Dennis as a mask. What’s the purpose of this? Why do you keep disguising yourself as the various troll-identities instead of just being forward about yourself, and maybe getting to the point of this faster. I have so many names in an ignore file, and I don’t think there’s even three people behind them. So what passion play are you acting out here, and most importantly why?


Such a sad, sad little man.


Who needs “PRISM”? All I’ve got to do is note which way Dennis swirls as he goes down the toilet again to tell which hemisphere he’s in.


“I’m talking to the regular here wearing Dennis as a mask. What’s the purpose of this?”

Oh, no! Well, I swain, Dennis sure took me in. Jokes on me.


That’s what I get for trying to punchline above my weight.


Why is always the warriors they idolize?

They want everyone to know just how small their PENES are.


They NEED to make everyone aware of their perceived inadequacies, that is.


That’s what I get for trying to punchline above my weight.

Woof, now that’s a heavy punchline.


Helmut Monotreme said,

June 17, 2013 at 0:05

What Helmut of the single orifice said. With whipped cream and strawberries on top (of what he said, not the orifice).


Being a true warrior is about knowing the source of true strength.
Why is always the warriors they idolize?

Being a true baker is about knowing the source of true fermentation.
Being a true programmer is about knowing the source of true code. And it’s not C++.


I call “Fake Dennis”. This one hasn’t banged on about liberal hot-tubs.


It’s somehow fascinating seeing all the responses to the Little Whiny Man and having nothing but badgers under his name.


Yes, Helmut is right, Alison. There’s a subtlety to consider, however. “Warrior” is a powerful designation, not just in the literal sense, but as a metaphor. I hate bad metaphors, but if “Warrior for Peace” meant more peace and less suffering, I’d reluctantly and provisionally sign on. In any case, using “Warrior for X” as a metaphor has (on the positive side) great potential to motivate qualities associated with steadfastness, winning a competition, etc. On the negative side, literal warriors are rather innately bad, and offer a distinctly shitty metaphor for good behavior of any variety.


“Warrior for X” as a metaphor

OK, next time I’m in the kitchen I am definitely a Warrior for Bread.

Helmut Monotreme

Draw a line in the sand. Make your enemy pay: Don’t cross a warrior. Don’t mess with this man of God. Come out fighting.

And when you fight—don’t fight clean. Use the weapons God gave you, and you’ll win in more ways than you could imagine. Can you feel it? It’s inside you.

It’s time to fight like a man.

What a revolting and revealing turn of a phrase. ‘It’s OK if I don’t fight fair, God is on my side’. Everyone who’s ever loaded a poison gas round into a howitzer probably said the same thing. Anyone setting a roadside bomb said the same thing. Anyone shooting women or children said the same thing. The Catholics said “Kill them all, god will know his own” back when they were rooting out Cathars.

Those aren’t the ethics of the warrior he claims to be. Those are the ethics of the IRA and the KKK, those are the ethics behind every war crime since the bad guys weren’t afraid commit atrocities without hiding behind some allegedly benevolent god. At least the vikings didn’t pretend to be doing anyone any favors when they were looting and killing.

In conclusion fuck that. And seriously, fuck anyone who thinks like that.

Helmut Monotreme

And in another conclusion, if you can’t win a fair fight, maybe you ought to reconsider fighting in the first place, cause you clearly aren’t the warrior you think you want to be.

The black god of time

This one hasn’t banged on about liberal hot-tubs.

I was on the verge of asking someone to let Dennis into the hot tub once and for all so that his current case of butthurt could be assuaged.


Yu mus fyn the Littl Whynin Man the Dennis he runs in the wud


And you post too much.

That shit’s just too precious!


Best Father’s Day I’ve had in in, well, I dunno, ever.

If only y’all would stop feeding the goddam trolls, I’d be shitting unicorns even as we speak.


Snowden: Suicide by intelligence agency.

I can’t see an upside to taking on UK intelligence.


I’d be shitting unicorns even as we speak.

That sounds immensely painful. You should thank us for preventing this!


Every time the teabaggers and their owners and serfs blather on about “warriors” it just makes me realize that the adolescent hero-worship by these groups only underlines the fact that they celebrate their complete lack of self-awareness. They “Love” the freedom of the Spartans – a group of totalitarian socialist homosexuals that completely crushed the culture that proceeded it. And, except for fighting a lot, really couldn’t give a shit about “freedom” or women. Oh, and they loved slaves. As cannon fodder.

But these teabaggers are the same group that swoons at the most revealing made-up quote of all: “We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”

The Projection that Dare Not Speak It’s Name is practically SCREAMING here.

Nobody wants psychopathic “warriors” in their unit, because those are the assholes that get everyone killed. And as a combat vet, I’m a little tired of these chumply shit bags trying to recast themselves as the manly, savage, “rough”, hard-guys (the projection never stops) that they imagine themselves to be. The US doesn’t have a warrior culture, unless you include the Native American tribes we decimated. We have a professional, volunteer, military, made up of any civilian able to physically and mentally pass a few not really that tough tests. And as soon as their term or career is over, they go right back to being civilians, with all the benefits and privileges thereof. It’s time these children grew up and realized that “daddy” is not going to be there to save them from the “bad guys” – they have to join the rest of the adults and help make things better for everyone.

Or at least, for the love of Bog, stop denying themselves (and others) the sexual fantasies that they keep heavily strapped up in the basement. It’s possible they might loosen up and become more human-like. The dressing up games they love to play; don’t call it cosplay, because it’s EXACTLY the SAME, from Yankee Doodle Dandy to Special Secret SEAL Team Operator Commando, are all part of a fantasy that used to be held up to ridicule not so long ago. Marching around in tri-corner hats makes you Samuel Adams just as much as carrying an M-4 on a sling while wearing shades and right-wing face mullet makes you Colonel Aaron Bank – if they knew who he was.


Enuf of this, who brought the Penis?


wow, I just badgered myself… ahem. With logorrhea. ouch.


If the logorrhea persists, I’ll have to see my physician – if my physician persists, I’ll have to consult my lawyer.


OK, next time I’m in the kitchen I am definitely a Warrior for Bread.

If you can’t fight got your Good Food rights, then what’s this life about anyways!

The black god of time

The asshurt is surrounding you like the mist lifting off of a fresh polar bear turd, Pennis.


Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The black god of time

I’m sorry Amanda deleted your latest attacks on me on her blog, it must be psychologically painful to realize that all your words have been for naught.


Thanks for all that work for me, Dennis, you’re a great guy. Did anyone ever tell you that?


Being a true warrior is about knowing the source of true strength. It’s about knowing your own weaknesses and turning to God to empower you to be the man he made you to be.

Sounded better in the original Pashto, in a column by Mullah Omar.


Whee tag fail morning. I blame Rob Ford.


This is the creepiest line from the Fox column:

Your marriage might be hanging by a thread. Determine to never surrender. Use love, patience, and forgiveness. Lay down your life and save your marriage.

Never surrender? What the fuck does this mean? If you’re wife is seeking a divorce, what does “never surrendering” entail? C-R-E-E-P-Y!

The black god of time

Four rapid-fire posts at just after 4:00 in the mirning, DA

And you can’t spell for shit. Try typing with two hands next time, Pennis.


Fuck, can’t believe I made the “your/you’re” error.

I blame Rob Ford.

The black god of time

Put down the iPhone and get back to production, Dwight.

Helmut Monotreme

According to his wikipedia biography, W. Bradford Wilcox is a one trick pony. Professional moral scold for hire. If you need someone to whine about the state of marriage, family and religion in the US today, give W. Bradford Wilcox a call. As a side note, I gotta wonder what the W stands for, if Bradford is the name he chose to use.


I gotta wonder what the W stands for

I suggest:



In liberal media bias news, the NPR anchor this morning (her name escapes me) said of today’s G-8 meeting,

“Today there will be a meeting between Vladimir Putin and Osama bin Laden….*zzzerrptt**… ah, President Obama…”

The black god of time

I’m sorry, Dennis, but Get Chutney Love doesn’t have a sex, although the two people seen in my avatar are men, and the flame obviously represents the female side of things, for balance.

The black god of time

I’m sorry, DA, but you’re wrong again. Several of your posts there show up as ‘Guest’, alongside a female avatar.

Sorry, Dennis, but I’ve only commented there as GCL. If you had a link to one of the posts you’re talking about, that would be interesting, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.

Another liberal blog rejecting you, mayhaps?

Uh, Dennis, your posts in the thread about the Redskins were deleted. I’m sorry that your asshurt has led you to make assumptions that aren’t true.

No hot tub for you, and you’re standing there all by yourself with your swimming trunks and your goggles on

I’m sorry, Dennis, but although Cerb is liberal-minded, I don’t think she wants you to be explicit about your man-crush on me. Please save such fantasies for your Grindr account, mmmkay?

Helmut Monotreme

I gotta wonder what the W stands for

I suggest:


Its fun to imagine, purely as a thought experiment, that the W stands for warrior, and he was named that by his father General “Crusher” Wilcox USMC (ret) and that his entire CV is a way of trying to work through some serious unresolved daddy issues.

The black god of time

Oh, Dennis, I forgot to tell you that I deleted some of my comments, because I didn’t want my invective-laden posts to be be there because now they appear to be unanswered by your now-deleted posts. Apparently when that happens, the avatar is replaced by a female one, and the nym is replaced by the word Guest.

I was trying to be fair to you, Dennis. I should’ve realized that such an effort would only redouble your already considerable paranoia about my relationship with Amanda.

Have a good hour, cowboi.


Fuck, can’t believe I made the “your/you’re” error.

I’ve done two wrong it’s this morning, so don’t feel bad.


Those aren’t the ethics of the warrior he claims to be.

Well, he’s also saying to really follow the turn-the-other-cheek Prince of Peace one has to fight and fight dirty, so um, yeah. Leetle bit crazy-cakes.


Please, kid, for your own sake get some help.

The black god of time

I really doubt that Amanda is the one who designed and oversees the operation of the Disqus comment system, Pennis. You can see here, my original comment regarding the SDSU mascot, Monty, is still there with my avatar and name intact.

I’m sorry that she deleted your magnum opus about my copypasta tendencies, will you ever find it in your heart to forgive her?

Your solicitude about my relations with Amanda is most touching, Dennis.

Hail Montezuma!


Oh, speaking of bitches, Dora is recovering quite nicely, I think. We’ll find out Wednesday, but “the bitch is back”, as far as she is concerned

hahaha…i have been vainly trying to get a good action shot of hubbkf and our dogs when they are at their most adulating of him…i swear to bob, they are so in love with him it is freakish…anyhoo, i just want to get a picture of them all together so i can entitle it ‘hubbkf and his bitchez’…

The black god of time

I really doubt that Amanda is the one who designed and oversees the operation of the Disqus comment system…

Which doesn’t exclude the possibility that Disqus does allow site owners to delete certain posts or commentators, as has happened to you at Ollies’ piece of The Daily Banter, alicublog, and now at Amandas’ place.

Therefore, it’s consistently logical to state that

1: Amanda isn’t involved in the design and operation of the Disqus comment system to the point where she can change the name and avatar of a commentator.

2: Like other site owners using TDCS, Amanda can delete posts, as Roy did at his place, etc., etc.

You really are stretching today, Dennis.

I’m sorry that your attempts to humiliate me have resulted in so much embarrassing blowback, but they do contribute to the lulz of Sadly, No!, to such an extend that if it was an operating for-profit business, you’d probably have a justifiable claim to some of the net income based on the turds neo-Algonquin Round Table feuilletons you’ve leave hear on an almost hourly basis.

The black god of time

Oh, and in answer to your question: No, neither do leopards their spots or conservatives their losing tactics.

This has been another episode of SATASQ.


also, too…these two commentaries on men are verr verr illuminating…so, what we have here is two conservos writing out loud that men are totes helpless victimes of dickitude and a: need to be married to chicks in order for them to like their own progeny and b: if they are not psychotic enough, they need to believe in an entity soooooooo much that that said entity will make them fightin’ men? they are saying that men are pretty much hopeless without women and jeebus, right?

and that’s somehow the left/gheys/feminazi’s fault? how? why do they persist in this either/or mythology? why are they so afraid of nuance AND the fact that there are many, many sorts of people who feel and do many different things in many different ways? oh yeah, state of fear…i forgot…

General Booth in Heaven

Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?


here’s my favorite line from the warrior post:

To get control of your budget and align your priorities with your cash flow. Perhaps you’re playing with a lustful fire.

You keep returning to images and people and places that excite you but also unleash something you’re afraid you can’t control. You’re going to get burned. Decide. Confess and overcome this darkness.



Showered in the spurting arterial blood of the faithful. Sorry.


tsam said,

June 17, 2013 at 18:10

hope you had a loverly father’s day, tsam…and all the other sadly daddlies…i miss me own dear father way too much, so usually lavish poor hubbkf and and the f.i.l. to make up for it…or i just get drunk and forget about the day…either way…


Maybe Cerb can do a flushing…


Of course, I am a Niewertian Eliminationist.


“hahaha…i have been vainly trying to get a good action shot of hubbkf and our dogs when they are at their most adulating of him”

I wish I had that problem! Dora is a pure-bred pedigreed Princess of Labrodor, and I’m “human dust”, a Jew from ‘Peru’ (Poland or Russia, who knows?) who traces his ancestry back to Joseph Silver, who’s suspected of being “Jack the Ripper”. And the she found out I wasn’t a Zionist!
No adulation from her, I assure you.

I gotta give her one thing, tho. She’s always Dora, and I’m always Mooser, and Patty is always ‘the Moosette’. The ambience may be pretty glacial, but at least we know who we are.


Major Junk said,
June 17, 2013 at 18:12

Major Kong,

You are a major jerkoff who nevered served in Army.


He’s never claimed to have served in the Army. You do know that the Air Force is a separate branch of the service, right?


“these two commentaries on men are verr verr illuminating…”

Well, I can’t agree. No American right-wing or “conservative” article is complete until it is footnoted with the title and release date of whatever movie, TV show or action-adventure novel the ideas are drawn from.

Maybe they will figure out one day that the Manichean melodrama of commercial media is not the same thing as “natural law” or even reality.


Poland or Russia, who knows?) who traces his ancestry back to Joseph Silver, who’s suspected of being “Jack the Ripper”.

rlly?! do tell…hubbkf is of the prussian or polish or german persuasion…who knows! that area was up for grabs every other year it seemed…also, too the jtr thing is cool/scary…do tell…

also, at our house, besides both the dogs considering themselves #1 (especially maeve who gets a pass because cutest puppy ever!), then it’s hubbkf 24/7 and then it’s me if he is not around and they are hungry or bored and it’s raining or snowing out…


“Maybe Cerb can do a flushing…”

So Cerb isn’t in on the ‘joke’, either, and spends time going through and deleting comments? And has to decide how many responses to delete along with the comments?

Me I’m sticking with the guy who isn’t giving out any papal bull:

“I ultimately have to ask, what are you expecting to occur? What’s the end game here?”


“Everyone who’s ever loaded a poison gas round into a howitzer probably said the same thing”

Well, Helmut, I don’t understand any of them fancy European languages, so I’d just be satisfied to know what someone says when they load DU shells into a magazine.
That would extend my knowledge from merely reading the Major on Daily Kos.


You are a major jerkoff who nevered served in Army.

He’s correct. I wasn’t in the army.

UPT Class 85-08 1984 – 1985
T-38 Instructor Pilot – 50th Flying Training Squadron 1985 – 1989

B-52G Aircraft Commander – 62nd Bombardment Squadron (Heavy), 2nd Bomb Wing, Barksdale AFB Louisiana 1989 – 1992

KC-135R Aircraft Commander/Instructor – 121st Air Refueling Wing, Air National Guard 1993 – 2006

I’ll show you my DD Form 214 if you show me yours.


“I’ll show you my DD Form 214 if you show me yours.”

I bet those trolls can’t say they were instrumental in our victory over Iraq!


I was instrumental in keeping my butt from getting shot off. That and the other 5 guys in my plane.

The black god of time

Yes, Dennis, either I copypasta or I leave things out or I write too much. I’m glad to have such measured and analytic feedback from you.



The black god of time

Will someone get a couch, I believe Pennis is about to faint.


tranny loving fuckstick

Well, I did rebuild the Saginaw 4-speed in my ’74 Camaro once, but that hardly makes me a trannie lover. Those things are kind of heavy.

I'm a lumberjack

I cut down trees
I wear high heels
and hang around in bars
I want to be a girlie
Just like my dear mama.

The black god of time

On behalf of all vertebrate life forms that live or have lived on this planet, I wish to apologize for Dennis. It won’t happen again.


Here is a thought for you Bitter Scribe. Stop defending this asshole, tranny loving fuckstick. He is a douchebag

All I did was point out that the Army and the Air Force are not the same thing. Touchy, touchy, touchy.


We really need a better class of trolls here. They sent the junior varsity squad today.


Given the overwhelming evidence that quite a lot of the world (at least the part that makes the rules) hates Cerb, she’s certainly within her rights to hate the world right back. Spite is a powerful motivator and muse, and some of history’s greatest accomplishments were made by people who pretty much hated the world around them. Given that, I have a hard time levying “She hates the world” as a valid criticism of anything Cerb says or does. Okay, so she hates a world that hates her, what else ya got?


There are currently 186 comments on this post. They should be down to 12 after the mop comes through.


So… many… badgers…

Their dancing is kinda… hyptnotic… I’m getting slee…[thunk]

The black god of time, really he

Yeah, DA, all those are markers of insecurity.

So, anything I do is a sign of desperation, not an interpretation from you that anything I do is wrong.

Good to know!

The black god of time, really he

DA, my guess is you’ve never been to a Dale Carnegie class, nor ever even tried to learn the first thing about effective communication, other than trying to impress blog people with your googling capabilities.

Nope, but I did take speech in junior high, did drama in high school and college, and have recently performed on stage since 2011. I obviously have many troubles communicating with my fellow humans and you have my undying gratitude for pointing that fact before you get deleted from here again.

Have a good hour, Cowboi.


rlly?! do tell…hubbkf is of the prussian or polish or german persuasion…who knows! that area was up for grabs every other year it seemed…

Whoa, hubbkf is Danzig?

The black god of time

Never mind, it turns out I woke up at Dennis’s place.


At this point a whitelist is smarter than a blacklist.

The black god of time, really he

My bad. It turns out I woke up at Dennis’ place.


Is Pennis walkin’ funny, today?

The black god of time, really he

It’s try ‘to’ stop, DA.

I didn’t write that sentence, Pennis. I’m sorry that you can’t tell the difference between what I write here and what a nym stealer puts on the thread. I’d e-mail Cerb about it instead of bitching about it to me.

Dude, the first was over 40 years ago, the second was 35-40 years ago, and you played f’ing Sewer Pot in a play that barely even shows up on Google, your character not at all; it’s like someone had to draw the part up for you because you volunteered to help out. C’mon, wuit trying to bullshit everyone all the time.

wuit do you mean, Pennis?

The black god of time, really he

I’m sorry you’ll never have the thrill of being nominated for a Hoscar, Pennis. It makes all other experiences dry dust in comparison.

The black god of time, really he

So, you’re a wonderful character who wants to make sure I don’t hang around playgrounds and schools, right?


It’s try ‘to’ stop, DA.

daphne? is that you?

Whoa, hubbkf is Danzig?

one thing is for sure, hubbkf would certainly enjoy that kitty litter commercial…


Starting sentences with “So” is also a big giveaway that you’re an insecure person.

Hanging around a blog where everyone holds you in contempt is an even bigger giveaway.


also, at our house, besides both the dogs considering themselves #1

A friend of mine was asked once if she had any troubles because both her dogs were female answered “No, I’m top bitch, and they know it.”

Words to live by, I say.

As for the recent infestation, I’d say junior high, tops, whatever the biological age is.

The black god of time, really he

DA just assumed I was right, and one of the rare times he didn’t Google everything he could to counter me.

Dennis, you’re the one hanging around here, your insecurity market is as large as the NYSE.

The black god of time, really he

Less than 2 hours, Pennis. Try not to trample anyone on the way out.


Rubber, glue. Pennis, shut your cockgobbler.


The story of a PENIS substitute, in words and pictures. Hilarious words and pictures.


dimmidice 37 points : 8 hours ago reply
a dildo doesn’t vibrate, a vibrator vibrates….

The world is so confusing.

The black god of time

a dildo doesn’t vibrate, a vibrator vibrates….

Pennis doesn’t vibrate?


Bilbo : burglar :: dildo : ????


Yep. You see your average heterosexual man is such festering dickhole a gal needs the full force and majesty of the law to keep him from skipping off to hump cheerleaders the minute her back is turned.

Or something.

I find it endlessly amazing that pro-manly mantastic neo-cons repeatedly stereotype men in such a way that even the scariest, hairiest straw feminazis of their nightmares never do.

The black god of time

Hey, Dennis, substance admitted to being confused, please don’t make him have to choose between you and I.


Iowa City was a fun place for public demonstrations. I got arrested at one! My favourite preacher to watch was Jed Smock. He had a book he’d try to sell and one of the more indulgent hecklers bought it and discovered that Jed was delivering the book word-for-word in his harangues. The hecklers then added audible punctuation. COMMA! PERIOD!

The black god of time

No, DA, he clearly told you to fuck off.

Kinda puts a giant hole in your hatin’ libruls seeking approval in the hot tub theory of Sadly, No!, then, doesn’t it? Or does it? Your thoughts on this urgent matter can wait the paltry 15 minutes before you get off work today, cowboi, don’t strain yourself, as the nun said to the executioner.

The black god of time

And a lot of people here have told you to fuck off, Dennis. Envy doesn’t befit a generous and cheery nature that you’ve displayed on this thread.


Iowa City was a fun place for public demonstrations. I got arrested at one!

Was the arrest for public nudity? AFAF


Speaking of Pride, some Catholic parishes were told by their (new) archbishop they could only march individually, not under the church banner. They said “fuck you.” Someone said of the archbishop “well, he is new to Portland, we’ll give him some time.”


Would be you children hold your little love fest somewhere else, please.

Get Chutney Love

Get off our lawn, kidz!


You crazy Canadianites and your mayors. Montreal mayor arrested just now.


Jeezus, who left the door open again? This is like the third jackass infestation in a week.


It’s bad form to arrest a corrupt mayor in Quebec. What were they thinking?

Get Chutney Love

What language did they read him his rights in?


To be fair, Applebaum was appointed by Council to the position so it’s not like Montrealers elected him as Mayor. They elected Gérald Tremblay.


Shirley you mean “Maire (mayor)”.


In my youth we mucked out the dairy barn twice a day with a frontloader. Now they have automated systems for that. We could use one of those so Cerb doesn’t have to run the loader twice a day to clean all the muck.

Trolls; more tedious than mucking barns.


Trolls; more tedious than mucking barns.

And much more obnoxious.


Science drives another nail into gawd’s casket.


Huh. I thought this was interesting:

CONCLUSIONS: Intercessory prayer itself had no effect on complication-free recovery from CABG, but certainty of receiving intercessory prayer was associated with a higher incidence of complications.

I’d have thought there might have been a positive association, just on the feelgood aspect of “oh, people are thinking kind thoughts about me.”


I guess it’s stressful to have God watching when the catheter goes in. God made doors for a REASON, God.


Perhaps the type of folks who place their well being into the hands of an higher power are less likely to take personal responsibility for their own recovery. The “lose twenty pounds before going under the knife or pray a lot instead” effect.


Also too, thank you OBS for that post about battery life. Especially due to this comment:

A man was hospitalized with six plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “stable”.


A man was hospitalized with six plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “stable”.



A man was hospitalized with six plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “stable”.

So modern, or post-modern, or just funny.


My god, it is a new category of joke.

A man was hospitalized with six fishes up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “schooled”.


A man was hospitalized with six crows up his ass. When asked, he commented that he felt like he’d been “murdered.”


A man was hospitalized with six sheep up his ass. Doctors described his condition as flocked.


My god, it is a new category of joke.

A man was hospitalized with six fishes up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “schooled”.

Yes, you’re right. More important than my observation. I’m left wondering what is to come — something that doesn’t often happen


A man was hospitalized with six dogs up his ass. Doctors described the conditions as “packed”.



Doctors describe his condition as “day to day”.


A man was hospitalized after scalding his perineum with a cotton candy machine. Doctors describe his chances for a full recovery as “fair”.


Speaking of intercessory prayer,,,


Still waiting to hear the Good Word from the docs.


A man was hospitalized with Gene Shalit up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “critical”.


I hear that people transport narcotics sealed on condoms up there. That’s why it’s called crack cocaine. [/Rob Ford references]


Had a computer up his ass, was told his condition was terminal.


A man was hospitalized with a mausoleum up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “grave”.


Speaking of things that interfere with craps, we was just gamblin’ in teh back alley when some guy runs in and shoves the whole works straight up his bunghole. We took him to the hospital where doctors described his condition as “dicey”.




After all these bizarre extractions, doctors were glad to deal with a man with a dildo protruding from his ass at right angles. Doctors described his condition as “normal”.


Northrop Frye tomes.


Self-help books.


Plastic pigs.

Get Chutney Love

Doctors treated a man with six larks up his ass, they described his condition as “exalted”.


Board games.
Extraction is “risky”.


A man was hospitalized for recurrent wet dreams. The doctors reported that he was discharged.


The Ho is reading Virgin Ben’s new libel broadside screed febrile rant book. The free preview, that is. He tells me America’s Dumbest Homosexual ™ gave ita less tthan glowing review at good reads.com. He also says the first four (small, N7-sized pages) have enough straw men to film every Oz remake that will ever be.


Plastic pigs.

Alternate take: He was diagnosed with a stye.


Fucking new browser and shit didn’t even see those intermediate comments so don’t fucking ahem me bitch!


And really, Gene Shalit up an ass? An asshole in an ass not it’s own.




Glenn Beck books.


Glenn Beck books.


Heisenberg statuettes.


Hughes Tool Company bits.


Troll cleaned up. Again, my email is cerberussadlyno at gmail dot com if you need to send a signal to me to clean up some troll shit.

Doing a little editing on new post that will be up soon.


A man was hospitalized with a vacuum up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “sucky”.


The doctors reported that he was discharged.

I figured that was after the Energizer dildo batteries finally ran out of power…

The black god of time, really he

Thanks for taking the trash out, Cerb.


A man was hospitalized after butt-chugging Bailey’s. Doctors described his condition as cordial.


A man was hospitalized. Doctors described his condition.

I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.


A man was hospitalized with a marching band up his ass. The doctors described his condition as “corps-like”.


[…] Happy Father’s Day (in SadlyTime) […]


New post.


a man was hospitalized with a rubber ball up his ass…the doctors say he should bounce back quickly…


Outdoors store.

In tents.


It is not clear whether a crime has been committed. Police say they are looking into it.


The doctors described his condition as “stable”.

I for one am not amewsed.


As the army doctor said to the private with six rabbits stuffed up his arse , “Don’t you know there’s a warren?”


This is completely off topic, but I misread the quote at the top of the page as “men have been pooping in my sexual fantasies”, and I cracked up. Cerb, you’re not the only one who’s mentally 12 years old.


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