Intergalactic Space Crusaders


Also inspirational.

Jim Hoft, Outhouse Pundit:
Air Force Removes Inspirational Painting With Bible Verse From Dining Hall – Atheists Found It “Repugnant”

Am I the only one tired of the latest carousel of made-up “scandals” from the right complete with calls for impeachment/public execution for Obama? All the various fainting couch addicts flinging themselves this way and that trying to pretend that having the IRS vaguely look in the direction of rich billionaire pet projects whose only coherent public opinion is that taxes are evil and shouldn’t be paid is a bad thing. Or that Benghazi is an… anything? Or that one random AP reporter getting spied on is somehow the worst government overreach ever with apparently no irony awareness of the Bush years and how every left-of-Rush-Limbaugh group larger than 2 people had to endure constant governmental harassment and tapped phones or how loudly the right cheered it all on when it was happening to the “right people”?

Maybe it’s because I’m one of those “little people” facing those meaningless little “real problems” that the powers that be refuse to even address because a bought-and-sold media wants to fill all the air time with made-up horseshit, but I just can’t be arsed to give one single fuck.

And damn me to hell if I’m going to waste my time refuting something they don’t really care about other than a test run to see if they can besmirch the scandal-less by screaming fake scandals as loudly and constantly as they can.

So I won’t. Today’s post will instead be about a very serious issue. Something worthy of time and attention.

And it has to do with the atheist community. No, not about the way that women have been treated by major leaders in the atheist community, making many skeptical or atheist spaces inhospitable to women. Nor is it about the rape threat and harassment campaigns many atheist women have received from so-called atheist allies who find the idea of applying skepticism to patriarchal ideas on gender. Or anything silly and frivolous like that.

No, it’s about how mean and oppressive atheists have been to that most oppressed and downtrodden of groups… evangelical Christians.

In this case, by attacking a work simply for being inspirational and wonderful and inspirational.

Or at least, I must assume it’s inspirational, seeing as how that word is used about 3 times in a post that barely manages to make it up to 3 sentences.

Well, with a setup like that, let’s not waste time trying to make things shorter, let’s dive in and see this vile overreach for ourselves.

The US Air Force removed an inspirational painting from a dining hall after atheists found it repugnant.

Scandalous and terrible! I mean, I know I hate those “hang in there kitty” posters as much as anyone else with taste, but still, making the poor pitiful, completely without power, Air Force tear it down with their atheist ninjitsu? Wow!

As a pure curiosity, what perchance did said “inspirational” poster look like? Did you happen to have a picture we could use as reference or…

Oh you did? Fantastic!

That’s a picture of a crusader.

No, really.

Here, see for yourself:

Because really, what speaks to our proud heritage of just defensive wars than fetishizing a racist campaign of genocide practiced by the worst rapists, murderers, and thieves Europe could get rid of?

After complaints from atheists the Air Force removed an inspirational piece of artwork proclaiming the message of Matthew 5:9 in Wagon Wheel dining hall at Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho.
The atheists were offended.

The atheists were offended? The atheists needed to be offended?!? Anyone with a pair of eyes and even an ounce of morality left in their spleen should have been offended! It’s equating your military duty with violent sociopaths engaging in a campaign of genocide against the Middle East while you are currently enmeshed in two wars in the Middle East!

And that’s before we get into that gag worthy use of “blessed are the peacemakers” as if Crusaders were not the very embodiment of the opposite!

I… Sigh… if this is the caliber of shit we’re dealing with, it’s going to be a long summer indeed.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Apparently not thinking that crusaders are inspirational is the latest embodiment of liberal fascism. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 175

 
 
 

Integrity is all about stealing stuff.

 
 

What’s the Leather Guy from the Village People doing on a religious painting?

 
 

“blessed are the peacemakers”
The Tacitus Corollary allows us to infer that equally blessed are the makers of deserts.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

This is one the reasons why the only person from the Air Force I like is Major Kong, by the way.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

truly, the cheesemalkers are blessed. Of course, “cheesemakers” refers to anyone in the dairy industry…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“cheesemalkers” should be a word if it is not already.

 
 

Integrity.

Thankfully, French cuisine has improved over the centuries.

 
 

In reality, the majority of the people who complained about the painting were actually Christians.
What do you expect from the “dumbest man on the internet”?

 
 

In reality, the majority of the people who complained about the painting were actually Christians.

A lot of the complaints about aggressive proselytizing in the Air Force Academy is coming from Catholic and Mainline Protestant cadets who are being targeted for “missionary activities”.

 
 

What’s with the halo around his crotch?

 
 

The Cross & The Flag!

 
 

It’s time to play that fun fun game, Fill In The Ellipsis! Here’s your host, sexual harasser Bob Barker!

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of…” Read verse in New International Version.

 
 

What’s with the halo around his crotch?

I think it’s a reflection from the Leatherman’s cock ring.

 
 

Maybe it’s me, but the 21st century crusader looks like Stacy Keach in a police uniform. S’posed to be a flyboy, innit?

[“researches” for 30 secs.]

No, no it isn’t meant to be an aviator, you droning idiot, it’s supposed to be a pig. This guy’s no McNaughton, but he’s trying.

Cheese-us, I remember when the Navy was considered the most hidebound, racist & reactionary of the services.

 
 

In reality, the majority of the people who complained about the painting were actually Christians.
Also, if memory serves, crusades were called not only to deal with evil mooslins and dirty jews, but also against heretics. I wonder how evangelicals – i.e. protestants – feel about that…

 
 

What’s with the halo around his crotch?

I’ll admit that I did not catch that at first glance…short answer, flash. The longer would mighthaps suggest a prurience of which none of us would like to be acquainted.

That anyone would want to document the atrocity as a piece of art…Wait, need to step back and look at the bigger picture…There are about thirty things floating around in my head right now starting with the a historical and ironically challenged moron that created the work of ‘art’ in the first place followed by the picture taker (though we cannot be certain that one of us possessing a knowledge of history and sense of Irony took the photo and composed the crotch halo mentioned above), followed by the jackass that thought it worthy of a place on the wall, followed by the whinge that “atheists objected”, followed by the fact that thousands of prints were run of this abomination on a Heidleburger four color (you should see those machines, they are huge) and adorn who knows how many walls…If this is not a brain frack, on so many levels, I will tender my resignation to speak. Though as long as I have fingers, I will not be silent.

if this is not seen afore my missive, I am in, c&t.

 
 

I wonder how evangelicals – i.e. protestants – feel about that…

The fundagelicals believe that Catholics are heretics. Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense, but they think they are the only true Christians. You should check out some Chick tracts for some serious LULZORZ.

 
 

B^4 Nice to see you on the third shift. As I am having a bit of difficulty adjusting to a first shift work change, it is nice to see a familiar face.

 
 

B^4 Nice to see you on the third shift. As I am having a bit of difficulty adjusting to a first shift work change, it is nice to see a familiar face.

We switch back-and-forth so nobody gets totally slammed with the graveyard shift. It also mitigates complacency- the afternoon routine and the morning routine are different, and complementary. Working both shifts gives one a better idea of the “rhythms” of the sites.

 
 

Working both shifts gives one a better idea of the “rhythms” of the sites.

Good, that, and I hope you are a younger man than me. Plus I hope you enjoy your occupation and have adjusted to the phase-shifting. In any event, I always enjoy your wit.

 
 

Hey, Mountain Home AFB – the Third Reich called and wants its imagery back.

Plus, it was more than an AP journo – it was at least one on FAUX and FAUX knew about it for three goddamn years. But, you know, bullshit outrage doesn’t take shape overnight.

Thridly, unless I’m mistaken, Mountain Home is a nookyoolar base. Which fills me full of warm confidence, I tells ya.

 
 

Good, that, and I hope you are a younger man than me. Plus I hope you enjoy your occupation and have adjusted to the phase-shifting. In any event, I always enjoy your wit.

I enjoy my job. I have good co-workers, both human and feline, and the worksites at which I toil are absolutely gorgeous. I can’t complain. My standard line is, “It’s a cushy job, except when it isn’t.” Every once in a while, I get an ass-kicking, but about 75% of the time, it’s smooth sailing.

 
 

I’m trying to figure out who the guy with the mustache is supposed to be, because he’s not wearing any Air Force uniform that I’ve ever seen.

For that matter, while technically allowed, the Air Force never liked mustaches. If you trimmed it to the size allowed by the regulation (corner of the mouth) you’d look like Hitler.

 
 

a Heidleburger four color (you should see those machines, they are huge)

In a previous lifetime I use to work on Heidelbuggers. The smell of methyl ethyl ketone still fills my dreams.

 
 

I’m trying to figure out who the guy with the mustache is supposed to be, because he’s not wearing any Air Force uniform that I’ve ever seen.

Relevant

 
 

Fine, so join the fucking USAF and agitate to keep the homoerotic art with the Bible verse beard. Chickenshits.

As for the hyperromanticized image of the crusading kniggit, meh. Please point me to any point in European history that hasn’t been made pretty, including the US where colonists and early white settlers are all canonized but we’re not supposed to talk about the fact that a fuckload of nations had to be decimated in order for any settling to occur.

Don’t we also have a steady supply of assholes who try to claim antebellum South was about more than slavery, so really, it isn’t fair to mention slavery at all?

 
 

Please point me to any point in European history that hasn’t been made pretty

Not pretty!

 
 

IIRC one purpose of the Crusades was to get these assholes out of Europe for a while and give them something to do besides making a general nuisance of themselves in Europe.

 
 

IIRC one purpose of the Crusades was to get these assholes out of Europe for a while and give them something to do besides making a general nuisance of themselves in Europe.

It’s the “B” Ark scenario played as tragedy, not farce.

 
 

Already time for the wingnut anthem, again?

? We are the victims, my friends,
And we’ll keep on whining ’til the end.
We are the victims.
We are the victims.
No time for losers
‘Cause we are the victims…Of The World! ?
~

 
 

Already time for the wingnut anthem, again?

I thought it was “If I Only Had a Brain”.

 
 

This blog needs a happiness expert.

And some line dancing. And maybe a Star Trek training video.

 
 

Here is the real hello…. HELLO! 🙂 This is going to be the best day ever.

 
 

“… mighthaps suggest a prurience of which none of us would like to be acquainted.”–Provider

This construction caught my eye.

 
 

the Leatherman’s cock ring

I knew those tools had lots of uses, but I didn’t know they had cock rings.

 
 

IIRC one purpose of the Crusades was to get these assholes out of Europe for a while and give them something to do besides making a general nuisance of themselves in Europe.

I thought they were early examples of War for Profit and Distraction.

King: Hey, my fellow royals, nobles and hangers on and such, people are starting to notice we do nothing but sit around all day buying each other expensive gifts, eating elaborate meals and raping the maids while they starve. I think they grow restless and plan to do something nasty.

Courtier: Can we blame the Jews for something?

Royal: Nah, we kicked them out.

Noble: No, we kicked them out, let them back, blamed them for the famine last winter and the people killed them all.

Courtier: Bummer.

King: And another problem … Er. We seem to be rather short on cash. Even the money we took from the Jews.

Everyone: Oh shit.

King: But I have an idea. Reports have reached me that Heathens have taken the Holy Land.

Courtier: You mean that brothel down on …

King: NO! I mean the Holy Land. Where Jesus was born. I propose we take it back. Of course we’ll need money. Lots of it. And soldiers. Yes. It is the duty of every good Christian to do what he can to reclaim the Holy Land for Christendom…

 
 

Keep fergittin’ to change my name back.

 
 

“Blessed are the Freshmakers”–Book of Mentos 4:20

 
 

Keep fergittin’ to change my name back.

Tell me about it, Shaka.

I can change nyms as easily as I change my shoes; trouble is, I forget what shoes I’m wearin’.

 
 

That painting reminds me of my job. It’s better for comedic purposes if I don’t explain why.

“Defending a piece of shit” is a metaphor for the conservative movement.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

truly, the cheesemalkers are blessed. Of course, “cheesemakers” refers to anyone in the dairy industry…

Just this weekend, I saw a dairy truck with a “Blessed are the cheesemakers” bumper sticker.

 
 

CRA is a Chippendale!

 
 

Also too, I must again note that this is the eleventy thousandth picture I’ve seen of a Wingnut who wouldn’t know basic gun safety if you carved it on a sledgehammer and hit them with it a few times.

It’s like they’re so fucking insecure they just have to show they know where the damn trigger is.

 
 

Dennis,
The original Crusades were the Pope’s attempt to lose the excess knights. Why keep a bunch of violent sociopaths at home, fouling the carpet and killing the servants, when you can convince them to go bother someone else?

French kings kept sending them to the Holy Land. The other major powers (England, Spain, Portugal, HRE) found places closer to home to send their annoying sociopaths.

Crusading was way too expensive to be much for profit. Only later ones, like the Fourth Crusade (which was sort of like robbing Fort Knox), made money. And the monastic order made a lot because they were corporate in their structure so everything stayed together.

On the actual subject post, I’m stunned that after all the crap we’ve been through, especially after W needed to stop using the word “crusade” and changed Operation Infinite Justice to, actually I don’t remember what it became, Operation Let Bin Laden Escape or whatever. You’d think someone before now would have seen the Crusader outfit and gone, WTF. Any Jewish officer for one. Good on whoever did.

 
 

I’m still keeping the bedroom door locked.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Lest we forget, the Crusades also set a template for Christian interaction with the rest of the world that it followed for the next thousand years or so. Christians got to feel smug and self righteous that they were bringing the light of the gospel to the heathens, and then they got to steal the stuff off of the corpses of the locals arrogant enough to believe that their own religion and civilization were perfectly fine, and they shouldn’t have to change just because well armed foreigners said so. And then the Christians took the land and resources those corpses weren’t going to be needing.

 
 

No, no it isn’t meant to be an aviator….it’s supposed to be a pig.

Hilarious! So the Air Force had a Crusader-fetish “inspirational” poster that wasn’t even Air Force related.

Hell, viewing the other works of the artist and his colleagues, I’d think the outcry to have it removed would have more to do with good taste than with religion.

 
BearManPorcine
 

Quit hitting on me, Thomas.

 
 

CRA is a Chippendale!

As I predicted, funnier than reality.

Guess which one I most resemble

 
 

Pictures like the one above of Mao, Stalin, Mussolini, Hitler; BAD BAD BAD

US American military personnel: GOOD GOOD GOOD and totally not the same thing.

This concludes our objectivity lesson for today, kids.

 
 

Tips hat in CRA’s direction. 🙂

 
 

Heh–did we just get threatened with legal action? I’m SO SCARED.

 
 

Or that one random AP reporter getting spied on is somehow the worst government overreach ever with apparently no irony awareness of the Bush years and how every left-of-Rush-Limbaugh group larger than 2 people had to endure constant governmental harassment and tapped phones or how loudly the right cheered it all on when it was happening to the “right people”?

I just love how the people who insist that the government NEEDS to be able to wire tap without oversight and NEEDS to have drones, and NEEDS a militarized SWAT team for even the smallest of towns are the same people who insist that our citizens must be heavily armed to protect them against government tyranny. Of course, it’s only tyranny when the Democrats are in power.

 
 

Jim Hoft looks like an inept doppleganger tried to replicate King Doofus. He’s like Dr. Frank N. Furter’s abortive first attempt at creating Rocky (see Google Images). He is a failed simulacrum. He is an unlovely, outsized homunculus made from low-grade materials:

That the sperm of a man be putrefied by itself in a sealed cucurbit for forty days with the highest degree of putrefaction in a horse’s womb, or at least so long that it comes to life and moves itself, and stirs, which is easily observed. After this time, it will look somewhat like a man, but transparent, without a body. If, after this, it be fed wisely with the Arcanum of human blood, and be nourished for up to forty weeks, and be kept in the even heat of the horse’s womb, a living human child grows therefrom, with all its members like another child, which is born of a woman, but much smaller.

 
 

Free teh non sequitur Expressionist kitsch!

SECULAR HUMANISM ISREAL.

 
 

Jim Hoft looks like an inept doppleganger tried to replicate King Doofus.

I’ve long thought he looks like a surface-dwelling Morlock.

 
 

Guess which one I most resemble

I’m gonna go with … Kevin Nealon?

 
 

No. I’m more like a 230-pound Chris Farley.

 
 

slanty eye half queer

Because if you’re a right wing loser, calling someone an Asian bisexual is an insult all by itself.

 
 

Wow. I’ve been married for 22 years, and I find that poster very disturbingly homoerotic. This is the kind of stuff they give the troops?
I’m not saying I find that picture disturbing because I’ve been married 22 years, to a very assertive woman. Not at all, and I don’t think I meant to imply that.

 
 

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

 
 

” I am looking for medicine to help my loser way of life. Does anyone have any ideas?”

Anecdotal evidence indicates that medicinal marijuana cures whatever ails you.

 
BearManPorcine
 

I’m SO SCARED.

It wouldn’t be the first time:

M G Law Firm New York said,

July 26, 2005 at 17:32

You are being informed. Harassment is against the law.

 
 

Wow. I’ve been married for 22 years, and I find that poster very disturbingly homoerotic.

Well, the Crusader does seem to have his right hand up Leather Dude’s bung. I guess that puts a different spin on “invading the holey land”.

 
 

“Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

Oh, come on, Shak. You think I’m dumb enough to have a full-length mirror in the house? Not this boychik, no way.

 
 

Wow, talk about a double desecration! With or without the “L”

 
BearManPorcine
 

He’s right about my eyes, they have the shape characteristic of my Han ancestors, not round like my fathers’ side of the family.

 
 

I don’t know what you all are complaining about. Blessed indeed are the pacemakers, for they keep a heart with an irregular rhythm working and the attendant human alive. What could be wrong with…oh.

Never mind.

 
 

Blessed indeed are the pacemakers, so don’t let the sun catch you crying.

 
 

Sometimes I wonder If I’m half Hun, half Han, and the rest is “Huh?”

 
BearManPorcine
 

The problem with Chinese-German food is that, a half-hour after your meal, you want to invade Poland again.

 
 

Well, that spun out of control a little bit.

Okay, memo to everybody.

First up, doxxing is something that has always been against Sadly, No! rules long before I washed on shore. Even if it’s an annoying ass troll who has been creepily stalking you, it’s still against the rules and those posts will be deleted. Period.

On the order of the obsessive stalker, I will continue to be taking down his posts as soon as I am aware of them. He has already long since violated site rules so all his posts go into the mincer.

But I understand that in the meantime, things can be annoying as you wait for the next enema truck to pass by. As such, I’ve set up a new email address: cerberussadlyno at gmail dot com to which you can email your concerns about things or just send a head’s up that the truck needs to stop by again.

Let it be known that this is a pretty good place and I have no intention of letting some tiny nothing rain on that.

 
 

No, only a minimum of cogitation is needed to ascertain I am composed entirely of “D’oh”. And not even half-baked, but it’s still early.

Is the feeling that my veins are filled with mucilage one of the medicinal benefits? ‘Here’s ol’ Mo’, he’s a movin’ kind of slow, won’t quite function’.

 
 

TIL: Dumbest Man On Interwebs haets Military Code of Conduct, probably also by extension America itself.
It would be irresponsible NOT to assume!

 
 

No, no it isn’t meant to be an aviator….it’s supposed to be a pig.

That’s not very realistic. Shouldn’t he be depicted beating up a black guy or pepper spraying some college students?

 
 

Look, I’m completely famischt. Tomorrow, my dog gets TTA surgery. I don’t have half my teeth, or a quarter of my hair, I’ve still got the same nose, and my goddam dog (18mos. old) is getting a knee replacement? You tell me what it all means.

 
 

things can be annoying as you wait for the next enema truck to pass by

Truck, hell, someone needs to rent a train of tank cars to wash last thread out.

I’m still befuzzled that someone needs to come here and troll. Aren’t there after-school programs for kiddy-winkies like that?

 
 

Thanks, Cerberus.

I’ve long thought [Jim Hoft] looks like a surface-dwelling Morlock.

Yes, and they’re the worst kind of Morlock.

A guy this dumb blogging is like a troglodyte who has forsaken the Underdark. No good can come of it.

 
The Usual Suspect
 

I am a terrible human being. I apologize to all I have offended here at Sadly, No!

 
 

I am a terrible human being. I apologize to all I have offended here at Sadly, No!

 
 

Please allow me the Broderian honour of pointing out that The Dark Avenger has been at least as annoying as Den Den.

 
 

Fuck if I know Mooser, but there is this, I used to watch KRON back in the day:

As a young television reporter, I would often talk with Wayne Shannon as we waited for his turn on the Eleven O’Clock news. But instead of the news, we’d talk about our lives and personal stuff. Relationships. Family. Career ambitions. Dreams. That’s when I’d take his famous catch-phrase, turn it around and ask it of him.

Now with the sad news of his death, I’m still left wondering, “What’s it all mean?”

http://blog.sfgate.com/eguillermo/2012/05/07/whats-it-all-mean-wayne-shannon/

 
 

…I guess that puts a different spin on “invading the holey land”.

It amazes me the shit I don’t see the first time around, and saddens me that most of the time it is shit I had rather not seen or shit that I would rather not think about…Thanks Baldbecubed. Thank you Sir!

 
 

“The Dark Avenger has been at least as annoying as Den Den.”

One is compelled to ask, have you ever seen them both in the same room? Other than that possible line of investigation, which I only suggest out of a dearth of evidence, I’m still flummoxed by it. I’m all, like, ‘ hail, brave new world that has such screechers in it!’,
Better sit tight and await developments. What the hell else to I have to do? It’l take THREE FUCKING MONTHS to rehab the dog.

 
 

Mooser-

They are not the same person, but all the “people” harassing DA are and are the same person who has harassed other members of the site (including me) at one time or another.

And I have sympathy for DA’s position. It’s not easy being harassed and stalked, especially from an internet stalker who happens to know your real-life identity and has already demonstrated a complete inability to respect boundaries.

It’s one of the reasons I am stepping in here and providing more options beyond continuous escalation or suffering in silence.

 
 

“That’s when I’d take his famous catch-phrase, turn it around and ask it of him”

If my body is discovered by turkey-hunters, it’ll only be prosaic judgement.

 
 

“And I have sympathy for DA’s position. It’s not easy being harassed and stalked, especially from an internet stalker who happens to know your real-life identity and has already demonstrated a complete inability to respect boundaries.”

You are freakin kidding me, right? Yer yankin my chain, gotta be. You’re telling me that he knows Dark Avenger personally and this is the best he can do?!?!

So the worst thing DA ever did was perhaps say something on a freakin’ comment thread which may have been in questionable taste, maybe, if you have real refined taste? My freakin God, I wish that was the worst anybody could say about me! But leaving that, and without a backward glance, please, Dennis is acrually as freakin LAME as he appears to be?
And I don’t care what anybody says, I’ll take Aqua Lung over Acqua Bhudda (or Avqua Velva, which Dennis is probably guilty of, too) any day.

But thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to explain it to me. I appreciate it, but I still find it hard to believe. There’s nothing in the ADA which provides help for that kind of lameness?

 
 

Dennis is so lame his theme-song ought to be “You’ll Never Walk Again”

 
 

“I am a terrible human being.”

I prefer to think of myself as a “unique page view” or “hit”. The more respect you have for yourself, the more other people will have for you, and if they don’t, ‘fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke’, as the old saw has it.

 
 

And I have sympathy for DA’s position.

I don’t have sympathy for DA’s position if he keeps changing his name to avoid killfiles. That ruins the threads I want to read. He wants his battle to be an exhibit, but nobody wants to see it.

 
 

Substance McGravitas-

Yeah, that too, which is another big reason on why I’m stepping in and de-escalating things now. There are other options than stooping to the troll’s level.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

I’ve still got the same nose, and my goddam dog (18mos. old) is getting a knee replacement? You tell me what it all means.

I would say it means …you like your dog? and that you can afford the operation it would take to reduce his or her suffering?)

 
 

This is too much for me. A swirling maelstrom of comments that appear and disappear! It’s disorienting, which if you’re half Hun….oh never mind, see joke above, and scary. I’d better lumber off (“surprisingly quickly for such a large animal” National Geographic) and come back later.

Besides, I’ll have plenty of time, I have to dog-sit for three months while she recovers from TTA. It’s ridiculous, her stats were never that high, she hasn’t got a shot at the NBA, even with the new knee.

 
 

Mooser-

Sorry about that.

 
 

“and that you can afford the operation it would take to reduce his or her suffering?”

I can? I’m glad you think so, that’s very kind of you. Well, the fact is Helmut, I just picked up an affluent comment writing style. The real me is broke.

And frankly, I don’t have experience to know whether the operation (and the three month + rehab) will, in fact, reduce her suffering. I’m just reducing my own suffering by going along with my wife’s decision. I might as well, she has an iron whim.

 
 

Having a dog with no nose enables a fine joke.

 
 

Mooser- Sorry about that.”

No need to apologise, ever. When I consistently beat her at checkers, I knew she had no future in pro sports. Oh, she’s a champeen dribbler, but that’s about it.

 
 

“Having a dog with no nose enables a fine joke.”

Sorry, but canine rhinoplasty is entirely out of the question! Me first, goddamit! Implants, plugs, and some tightening up, a schnoz/i> job (I’d like to play somebody besides Fagin or Fagen) and then maybe we’ll talk about the dog. On her the jowls look good!

 
 

It’s a dog, right? So TTA is tits tits and ass or what?

 
 

Thank you Cerb.

I’ll take a seat in the middle of the road with the flat armadillo and Mr MacGravitas.

 
 

Mookse tag fail.

 
 

I can? I’m glad you think so, that’s very kind of you. Well, the fact is Helmut, I just picked up an affluent comment writing style. The real me is broke.

And frankly, I don’t have experience to know whether the operation (and the three month + rehab) will, in fact, reduce her suffering. I’m just reducing my own suffering by going along with my wife’s decision. I might as well, she has an iron whim.

i often wonder what would happen in our household should one of the girls need a major surgery…being like mooser and broke and needing a few repairs myself, if i would be willing to pony up for pet surgery…i honestly don’t know what i would do…

 
Get Chutney Love
 

“How does he smell?”

“Terrible!”

 
 

Mookse tag fail.

happens to the best of us…

 
 

“Mookse tag fail.”

Well, naturally, I’m in favor of that. I hope everybody who gets a moose tag fails.

A TTA is a device which which does something or other to the whozi-ma-whatsis and keeps the tendons from rupturing. It’s like a partial knee replacement. They shave the dogs leg, open ‘er up under an Arthur-scope or something. It’s ridiculous. She’s a girl dog, why can’t she shave her own legs?
And then we (oh, I like that “we”! Who’s home all day?) have to keep her quiet, almost still, for two months.
If they still sent criminals to Devil’s Island, I’d go heave a brick through a store-window today, and be well out of it.

 
 

…and bbkf should know!

 
 

happens to the best of us…

It happens to you a LOT

 
 

I go away for a while and completely miss a massive troll inFAILstation. Impeccable timing!

Oh, but look I also missed:

tsam said,

June 4, 2013 at 17:03 (kill)

Wait… tsam? tsam? He comes back and I miss it.

Oh well, hope all’s well up North in happy-legal-marijuana land good sir.

 
 

And look, there he is again! I’m not just seeing things, right?

 
 

Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup.

 
 

It’s ridiculous, her stats were never that high, she hasn’t got a shot at the NBA, even with the new knee.

Perhaps you should send her to Germany for treatment. It could lead to a successful career in the AFL. Is she an Australian shepherd by any chance?

 
 

Wait a motha-fuggin minute here, Clarence! What the hell am I doing? Wasting all these gilt-edged yarns on you shmegegies! This, the story of my doggie’s operation, is fust-cless material, and I’ve got my own blog, I should spill my kishkas here? I’ll put it all there, so nobody will ever read it, that’ll teach you! You won’t have Mooser to kick around any more!

You guys wanna know about it, you’ll just have to go see the blockbuster movie, which should be in all local theatres and available on DVD and Blu-Ray (Unless, of course, Congress passes a Blu-Ray ban) next summer.

 
 

Unless, of course, Congress passes a Blu-Ray ban

I think the American People are owed an explanation of what really happened at Blughazi.

 
 

I’ll put it all there, so nobody will ever read it, that’ll teach you! You won’t have Mooser to kick around any more!

well, g dang it, i’ve been there and you still haven’t read the story…also, i think your blog hates me…

 
 

Apropos nothing, really, I recently made the uncomfortable decision to put down a dear, old dog. The surgery would not only have been expensive, I could not see putting a sixteen-year-old pup through a long, painful recovery that would have only been temporary, considering the extent of his tumors. I rationalize it all as best I can, but I still feel like a murderer. I miss the wobbly old beast.

 
 

Apropos nothing, really, I recently made the uncomfortable decision to put down a dear, old dog.

oh, it’s awful, isn’t it? two of our labs lived to ripe old teen ages and declined rapidly, but that decision to end their suffering is agonizing…i’m getting to be as bad as my mom…i keep calling our eldest dog by our deceased dogs’ names…

 
 

Why is David Beckam wearing a Crusaders costume?

 
 

You can’t stop wishful thinking.

 
 

My dog has no skeletal system. How does he support himself, you ask? Well, he has a job, unlike you buncha mooching leftsist moochers.

 
 

Yeah, having a 13-year-old Malamute mix I feel yer pain, Butch and bbkf. Thankfully, he’s pretty healthy, just old. I’m going to miss him and his singing when he’s gone.

 
 

Oh yes, we’ve had several which lived to a ripe old age, and were ‘put to sleep’ and one euthanised at one year for incurable cancer. Always a horrible decision to make, and some of them still haunt me.

Dora’s 18 mos. old, Her hips are sound, she’s otherwise very healthy, and the muscles in the affected leg are already shrinking. A TTA could fix her up once and for all. In spite of the long rehab and expense it might be a prudent decision.
Or maybe my wife just wants her dog to have the same operation all the rich folks in Bellevue get for their dogs. It’s hard to know.

My wife will sell her pocket-watch, and I will sell my hair to raise money for the procedure.

 
 

You can’t stop wishful thinking.

Struth. Had a friend that was a big Crusaders fan back in the day. Never could get smooth fusion thing meself.

 
 

Vasco was 16 or maybe 17 and slowing down gracefully when he rather suddenly had a lot of joint pain. The vet wanted to draw blood samples and do a kidney function test or some such before prescribing the pain med. “He’s 16 fucking years old and won’t last much longer no matter what – just give him the damn pain med.”

Some five years later I still think of and dearly miss old Vasco.

 
 

And then we have to keep her quiet

YEAH RIGHT.
That’s like saying “And then we have to keep her from farting”.

 
 

-5 for a missing ‘that’.

 
 

Mmmmmmmmm. Little meat pie, combo banh mi and Viet iced coffee at An Xuyen bakery and deli. $5.25 Caint beat that!

 
 

“and I will sell my hair”

It just so happens, Mr. Know-it-all, that people will pay a lot for it. Split ends make the best pin-striping and fine detail brushes, in case you didn’t know.

 
 

I had a delicious banh mi breakfast Sat. Six of them plus two teas $16.

 
 

I love Viet iced coffee, but learned to my distress that it doesn’t sit well with a big bowl of pho. Otherwise, I think pho is nature’s perfect lunch. Love the coffee too, but just not together.

 
 

My wife will sell her pocket-watch, and I will sell my hair to raise money for the procedure.

Mooses got a lotta hair. You should do pretty good on that.

Also, too, a neighbor’s dog had the kneecap replacement work done; she’s doing very well several years later. Another anecdata point for ya to consider.

 
 

Also, too, a neighbor’s dog had the kneecap replacement work done; she’s doing very well several years later.”

Thanks! That’s what I was hoping to hear. It seems so crazy that this otherwise picture-of-doggie-health dog could injure itself permantly just running around doing normal doggie stuff, but that is what happens.

Just gotta do our best, and hope we’re doing the right thing. And when you consider the fact that just yesterday this self-same dog slunk into the kitchen, and swiped an almost full container of whipped cream cheese, which is to me the very bread of life…no, that doesn’t make sense, okay, it’s the bagel which is the bread of life, but a bagel without cream cheese is like, is like…well, a bagel without cream cheese. Anyway, bitch took it right off the counter! snuck out the door, and sucked it down, only to appear glassy and trans-fatty eyed and pass out on the studio couch.. And now I’m gonna buy her a leg job? What a world! Strictly flushugganeh and you can say I said so!

 
 

…swiped an almost full container of whipped cream cheese…

My current favorite snack is pretzels with whipped cream cheese and Beaver brand sweet-hot mustard.

I have to dole out a semi-reasonable quantity of the cream cheese onto a plate otherwise I’d end up eating the entire container. The mustard is kinda self-limiting, too much of it and I can’t breathe.

 
 

“What a world! Strictly flushugganeh and you can say I said so!”

I warned her that pure-bred (Pure bred my friggin foot! Tchaah, even, the dog is a fraud. Okay, she’s supposed to be a pure-bred Labrodor, but just step on her foot and see what happens. Why the hell would a dog from Labrodor know a bunch of Yiddish curses? Oh, maybe she’s from Labrodor, althought I think Pe-ru is much more likely, but she’s no schicksa) might have health problems, but she gave me a look and said “Look, one mongrel around here is quite enough”. Women, who can understand them?

 
 

“However, in addition to being offensive, many of the “facts” and much of the “science” on these videos were not quite correct”

Another-words, my dear Melanie, you want Fox to abandon its central, and practically only strategy for attracting viewers?

 
 

This is a great title:

Salt Fish & Shmattes: A History of the Jews in Newfoundland and Labrador from 1770.

 
 

The original Crusades were the Pope’s attempt to lose the excess knights. Why keep a bunch of violent sociopaths at home, fouling the carpet and killing the servants, when you can convince them to go bother someone else?

Interestingly, this would make it a 1.0 version of Saudi Arabia’s policy of exporting their biggest fanatics (hello, Osama Bin Laden) to Afghanistan during the eighties to fight the Russians. Looked like a good idea at the time in that it allowed them to show off their Leader Of The Muslim World cred at a time when they felt seriously threatened by Iran’s challenge for the title, while at the same time throwing their rabid dogs into someone else’s backyard so they wouldn’t make trouble at home. And, hopefully, would all get killed.

Oh, and the parallel continues to work if go farther. You know how those rabid dogs who didn’t die in Afghanistan came back to the Middle East after the war was over, became jihadis at home and started causing even more headaches for their governments than before they’d been sent overseas? The Crusades’ version of that: Knights Templar. Beloved and admired as long as they were doing all their killing Over There, but then came home and became such a hassle they had to be Order 66’d.

 
 

Thank you, dear Cerb for the troll disinfect. The last thread was painful to the eyes and all the other senses.

 
 

Yes, I should have said thank-you above too. It’s a pain in the ass to deal with such shit.

 
 

“Salt Fish & Shmattes: A History of the Jews in Newfoundland and Labrador from 1770.”

Thanks for that! And don’t think I won’t throw it right in her teeth, after she recovers, of course. But one of these old days we are going to go into this whole “pre bred” schtick of her’s. Frankly, I think she’s Labradoodling me. She’s got Flatbush Avenue all over her. The only pure bred she knows about comes from Hester street.

 
 

“You know how those rabid dogs who didn’t die in Afghanistan came back to the Middle East after the war was over, became jihadis at home and started causing even more headaches for their governments than before they’d been sent overseas?”

Oh, all that is pretty par for the course, but what I can’t get over is how they infiltrated the US government and made Sharia Lewis puppets out of us, and make us keep sending Americans for them to kill. And the nasty way they make us escalate the conflict and commit war crimes. How do they manage it?

And please don’t call them “rabid dogs” please, some of them may very well be my close relatives.

 
 

tsam said,

June 4, 2013 at 17:03 (kill)

You got a kill file on me? Is it because of the Needlewart Eliminationism and whatnot?

 
 

You got a kill file on me?

No, that’s what all the non-killfiled comments look like if you use the standard killfile script.

 
 

No, that’s what all the non-killfiled comments look like if you use the standard killfile script.

Ah-0-I see.

How’s things with you?

 
 

How do they manage it?

Not sure…

I blame Obama.

 
 

Nice cleanup job, Cerb!

 
 

Thanks! That’s what I was hoping to hear. It seems so crazy that this otherwise picture-of-doggie-health dog could injure itself permantly just running around doing normal doggie stuff, but that is what happens.

A friend of mine had a (pure bred) German Shepherd blow out her knee running around (took a corner at the bottom of the stairs). They went in to pin the ACL, and discovered her bones were too soft to keep the pin in place. My friend was set to (reluctantly) euthanize the dog, who was only about 2, when the vet talked her into trying amputation. The dog adapted to being a tripod beautifully – even knowing she had only 3 legs, it took a while to notice, she moved so well. Sadly, my friend had to euthanize the dog just last week, as she had pneumonia on top of something else and just wasn’t recovering. But the dog had 10-12 good years as a tripod, first.

And, Cerb, thank you so much. Not responding was difficult, and the flung poop was annoying.

 
 

Fox News Fact Check: Is it bad for lower-income kids if Mom has a job outside the home?

It’s better than eviction.

 
 

Fox News Fact Check: Is it bad for lower-income kids if Mom has a job outside the home?

“Fucking deadbeat mom thinks she’s too good to work, feeds her kids with my tax money instead!”

“Fucking bra-burning feminazi thinks she’s too good to stay at home and watch the children, comes after my job instead!”

Closely related to this phenomenon;

“Fucking slut can’t keep her legs closed, has babies she can’t afford!”

“Fucking baby-killer has an abortion when she could’ve chosen life!”

One could almost be forgiven for wondering if there isn’t something about poor people, poor women in particular, and poor single mothers most of all that sets them off, and whether “the children” or the mother’s sense of morality isn’t just a pretext for the storm of outrage.

 
 

One could almost be forgiven for wondering if there isn’t something about poor people, poor women in particular, and poor single mothers most of all that sets them off, and whether “the children” or the mother’s sense of morality isn’t just a pretext for the storm of outrage.

They hate all women, they hate all poor people, with poor women, it’s like hatred squared.

 
 

Fox News Fact Check: Is it bad for lower-income kids if Mom has a job outside the home?

It’s better than eviction.

That’s what the study found – kids of low income working mothers did better than kids of low-income nonworking mothers, because having a mother working, and bringing in income, was better than starving to death, or stressing about it. Wow. Imagine that.

Also, the video on “why time travel is bad” was pretty entertaining.

 
 

I miss the wobbly old beast.

I am so sorry for your loss. I will hold you in my thoughts,

 
 

There is a time for everything. The time is now. What time is it Mr. Wolfe? The time is now. The time is now. The cow jumped over the moon, the mouse danced with the spoon, the fork eloped with the knife, the owl flew over the moon, and the moon was illuminated by the the sun. The time is now. On the dot.

 
 

Pure bred my ass, I used to see her mother hanging around the…oh, is this thing on?
Anyway, thanks all. Talk to you later.

 
 

The time is now. On the dot.

But what is the frequency Kenneth?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Does anybody really know what time it is?

 
 

Twentyfive or six to four.

 
 

It’s good to be the king.

 
 

Put. The. Candle. Back.

 
 

Mooser, for what it’s worth, I think you and the missus are perfectly lovely humans. If this is any comfort, being willing to go into staggering debt so the dawg don’t stagger no more is a shining exhibition of the kind of character that makes worthwhile humans fall headfirst in love with humans like you.

May your pup come through the surgery (and the much more difficult period of enforced rest) with newfound vigor and happiness. I suspect that, along about the end of summer, there will be a painless romp for the canine and a resulting flappy-jowled grin for you guys that will confirm your suspicion that it was just money, enh.

 
 

Put. The. Candle. Back.

But I was just getting to enjoy cursing the darkness! Buggrit!

 
 

As someone who was raised Irish catholic And turned atheist…iI’m not sure why atheists hate people who believe in something. If they have faith good for them. If they’re wrong it doesn’t affect me at all. If they’re right it doesn’t affect me. So why do others care?

 
 

Maybe it’s because I’m one of those “little people” facing those meaningless little “real problems” that the powers that be refuse to even address because a bought-and-sold media wants to fill all the air time with made-up horseshit, but I just can’t be arsed to give one single fuck.

Inorite?

FUCK the media.

 
 

Wasting all these gilt-edged yarns on you shmegegies

oh lawdy, shmegegeh is like my yiddishe wife’s favorite word. I never heard it until* I married her … hmm … *worries*

*be it so noted, I heard plenty of yiddish words on the schoolyard, shmuck, shlemiel, mishuggeneh … shiksa

 
not a gator, not a yiddish shpeaker
 

Also, for some reason growing up I learned to say tchotchke “choch-KEY” which I have been informed is WRONG and well WRONG. I can’t pronounce “oy” right either.

takes out violin

Time for those Yiddish klezmer blues

“Ooooooo die arme goooooyishe menschen…”

 
 

It’s always worth noting when considering the Crusades that the Crusaders FAILED. They LOST. Their biggest success was the sack of (Christian) Constantinople.

 
 

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