Why Won’t You Let Us Cum?!?

It’s almost like Norway’s justice system doesn’t care about the interrupted libidos of the people who create their domestic terrorists or something!

Nicholas Eberstadt, National Whiter Hue:
Life is Cheap in Europe

AND

Mark Krikorian, National Whitest of Hues:
Re: Life is Cheap in Europe

That’s right! Twooooo horrible National Review posts in one go.

So apparently, National Review occasionally does this “point/counterpoint” thing from time to time but not really in the way you or I or any human being might.

Allow me to explain with a double shorter.

Shorter 1 (the pitch):

  • It’s actually the country of Norway and not the crazed terrorist we unleashed upon them who doesn’t value the lives of filthy brown people! Because Norway doesn’t understand that killing the murderer of said brown people, in violation to their ethics, magically brings said dead brown kids back to life.

Shorter 2 (self strangulation with one’s own bat):

  • How dare you, SIR! Those slaughtered were not “filthy brown people” but rather filthy brown-people-loving WHITE people who rightly deserved their slaughter for not enforcing racial purity. Oh and yes, Norway should have totally slaughtered Breivik. That would have been totally hot.

Yeah, we’re going deep into the Spleen of Darkness on this one, so those wanting off should bail now. We’ll swing back your way in the comments. Welp, we’ve got a lot of shit to unpack, so let’s start with Idiot #1.

Norway’s one-man Rassenreinheitseinsatzgruppe (Google translate it)

Okay! Die Einsatzgruppe für Rassenreinheit, roughly translated as “Task Force for Racial Purity”, is a remarkably long way to travel to call Breivik a nazi.

Overall, I think the Norwegians would be more likely to call him en rasist, en neo-nazi, en patetisk mannebarn, en barnedreper.

But glad to see that there is no moment the National Review sees as inappropriate for failed attempts at showing how smart one is.

Anders Behring Breivik, was just given the maximum for his crime in Norway: 21 years.

That’s right: 77 murders (mainly at a summer camp for immigrant children), 21 years.

Yeah, Norway’s views on prison systems and prison sentences would indeed seem odd to American sensibilities. Basically, they don’t really go for the whole “theater” aspect of a justice system. As such, sentences aren’t some maximum punishment that can be lessened for “good behavior” or more likely, “prisonhouse conversion”. The sentence is a minimum incarceration which is then followed up with a panel of psychologists to see if the patient has been rehabilitated enough to rejoin Norwegian society.

And that’s the other big difference. Norway doesn’t view prison as some sort of torture mill so we can get out our collective id on the poor bastards who got caught. For them the point of prison is rehabilitation. So no tortures, no death penalties, no abusive guards, and an overall modest style of living. But this “liberal coddling of prisoners” doesn’t mean they just recycle broken and hardened men onto the streets. If someone is not ready to rejoin society or is a threat to themselves and others, they don’t get to go home at the end of the sentence.

Breivik might have been sentenced for 21 years, but he’s not getting out… ever.

And for all the bellyaches it causes in wingnuts, we really can’t argue with the results. Norway has one of the lowest crime rates in the world, a recidivism rate of only 20% versus our 67% and this is all despite having one of the lowest levels of incarceration in the world.

Cause it turns out people don’t like to go to prison in general and making it more unpleasant doesn’t serve anything other than training the people picked up on drug charges and traffic tickets to become hard enough to kill and steal when they are released.

The demographer in me has to do the arithmetic: This works out to less than 100 days per murder. That’s right: less than a summer per murder.

Well, as we just noted, Norway works completely different from us. And pretty much every Norwegian legal scholar says that Breivik will not be seeing the front side of his prison house for the rest of his natural born life.

And that’s really one of the big rubs isn’t it. You really can’t do anything to a mass murderer that equals what he took away. Yeah, life imprisonment is definitely what he will get and what Norway feels he deserves but even that probably won’t be worth even remotely near a year per victim.

Even the death penalty these ghoulish fucks masturbate to becomes a sick joke by these calculations. 1 life of a murderer versus 77 dead children? By that “arithmetic”, Breivik is worth 77 times more as a human being than every person he killed. A war criminal? Worth thousands, maybe millions more than others.

And that’s the problem with vengeance math. Nothing “equals” and even if it did, it wouldn’t bring those people back. All you can really do, if you really care, is ensure the bastard in question can’t do any more harm and try to solve the social issue that created them or the political issue that armed them.

And moreso than anything, the right-wing fears that because it removes the deniability that “lone wolf” and “he deserves to fry” grant them.

Of course, civilized Europeans would never extradite a Julian Assange to a place like America, where the death penalty is a possibility for certain offenses.

Let me get this straight. You are chiding Norway because they don’t want to extradite Julian Assange to America where he may face the death penalty. Julian’s only crime to America, as if I needed to remind you, being that he embarrassed us by committing the dastardly unseemly down-right evil crime of… basic journalism.

Yeah… not sure they are the crazy ones in this exchange.

Because the death penalty is savage and inhuman.

And the best way you thought to defend against that charge was by yelling “off with his head” with regards to someone whose only crime, to you*, was making you look like a complete chump?

But what does it say about an “enlightened” European country that it should evaluate its own immigrant children’s lost lives as being worth so very, very little?

That they understand that no amount of anything will bring their children back so throwing away a system that works out of pure desire for vengeance is a bad idea?

Also, are you really asking left-wingers to violently respond to right-wing terrorism by getting out their id on those responsible?

Cause I don’t think you’d survive that Civil War.

It’s very good for your health that we actually believe in all our hippie blather about justice, peaceful solutions, and eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. It’s pretty much the only thing saving your chicken-hawk asses from real righteous fury.

On a happy note: Mr. Breivik is today 33 years old — meaning that he would get out of prison at age 54 with the “book thrown at him” sentence.

According to the Human Mortality Database, an average 54-year-old Norwegian man today could expect another 27 years of life.

A) He’s not getting out then. And B) again the rub. He’ll be jailed for life. That only doubles the “cost” in your “arithmetic”. Even death can’t take away an equivalent amount of years to the kids he slaughtered.

There’s nothing we can do to him that equals. That could even hope to approach equaling. So with that in mind, why not trust the system to do its job and deal with the real?

Fortunately, and oh-so-humanely, Mr. Breivik’s Europeanly-severe sentence will thus deprive him of freedom for less than half of his likely remaining days.

You know, I used to be baffled. When I wrote my original post I was rather taken aback by all the right wingers masturbating on how awesome it would be if Norway betrayed its principles and murdered Breivik.

What were they trying to say? That they deserved death for creating him? That they wanted to bury the evidence before he started naming names? That they hoped for a martyr to try and regain a foothold in Norway? It didn’t quite make sense.

But now?

Now I get it. We, global superpower, hand-crafted the worst terrorist that Norway has seen on its shores in the last 70 years and they just shrugged it off. They didn’t call America an existential threat. They didn’t bomb Canada and Jamaica for being adjacent to us. They didn’t throw Breivik into a special no-international-law Arkham Asylum in fear that he would use his laser vision to bust out. They didn’t suspend habeus corpus. They didn’t deploy shocktroopers into the streets. They didn’t erase all their civil liberties in fear that this day might come again.

They just put him in the court system and trusted it to do its job of delivering a just decision, locking him up where he may be rehabilitated and/or kept separate from the rest of Norwegian society.

When a Saudi douchebag living in the Pakistan desert with a handy-cam and a cell phone fucked our shit, we unleashed our bowels in complete terror. We couldn’t burn our civil liberties fast enough in response. We fantasized that malnourished middle eastern teenagers have superpowers. We got so scared we created Norway’s most recent monster just on the radiated high of our absolute dread.

We still fear letting a “suspected terrorist” touch our justice system in case the guy grabs a jetpack from the bailiff and flies off to rob Fort Knox. In every possible way, Norway just made us look like the pathetic mewling children we are, outclassing us at every step.

It’s no wonder that the conservatives are bitterly demanding Norway betray all their principles and really let them have it. It’s the same reason that the Joker taunts Batman to kill him or Lex Luthor tells Superman to use his full strength against him.

They don’t really want to die. They just want to drag the hero down into the muck because it’s worse for them knowing how much better the hero is than them.

If Norway can just shrug off the worst we can throw at them, then what does it say about Mr. Overcompensating Superpower og de patetisk mannebarna that treat it like their global penis?

But hey, why stop there?

There’s two Breivik lovers with delayed orgasms on the docket tonight! So let’s hear from Waste of a Mother’s Nutrient Supply #2!

Nick: It’s not much consolation, but the Norway mass murderer (whose name, like the names the Sikh temple shooter or Gabby Giffords’s shooter or the Batman shooter, should be repeated as little as possible, since public exposure is what they crave)

DUDE! Ix-nay on alking-tay about our ass-may urderer-may! We’re counting on people orgetting-fay we eated-cray im-hay!

will likely spend the rest of his life in prison, since Norway apparently has “preventive detention” after a sentence has been completed. Though, of course, “the rest of his life” should last only until the authorities finish preparing the gas chamber or the gallows.

Yeah, even the mouthbreathers in the jungles of the National Review comment section called you out on that shit last time, so I might as well include it here before I move onto what really bothered me about your post.

But “Rassenreinheitseinsatzgrupp” isn’t the right epithet in this case.

So you see Mr. Eberstadt, there is no unearned paean to intellectualism you possess that I cannot take away! MUAHAHA!

I have no doubt the creep hates foreigners, but

What?

I have-

No. No. No! I’ve overused that gag. But seriously???

I have no doubt the creep hates foreigners as if that was ever in fucking doubt?!? That’s like saying I have no doubt that a serial rapist hates women or I have no doubt that the National Review employs terrible writers.

It so obviously needs no saying that saying it only serves to diminish it. It’s as if you were obviously trying to distance yourself from the likes of these people** before releasing an unapologetic defense of his racist murders…

Oh Bob no-

but the site of his crimes was not “a summer camp for immigrant children” nor were the victims mainly “immigrant children” — it was a camp for the socialist youth organization, and only a handful of the dead were of non-Norwegian origin.The names of the 77 victims, which should be publicized whenever possible, are listed here.

Damnitt, Nick! If he had killed some meaningless brown people, no one would have given a shit, because said brown lives are worth nothing. But instead he shot a bunch of whites. Socialist whites, mind you, so their lives are worth almost nothing, but white people nonetheless. Geez, get your facts straight.

The absurd sentence did not stem from the fact that Norway “evaluate[s] its own immigrant children’s lost lives as being worth so very, very little.” Rather, Norway, like the rest of the developed world, has become so decadent that it can no longer take the vigorous measures any society needs to defend itself. A self-confident society that wasn’t apologizing for its ancestors and guilty about it success would

That’s…

That’s Breivik’s rationale for shooting up the camp. I mean, sure, yeah, he just stole that shit from people like you and copy-pasted it until it was long enough to serve as a “manifesto”, but…

That’s a murderer’s rationale repeated near-verbatim pretending to be a criticism of him. One that still agrees on how those kids deserved to die because Norway was unwilling to be racist or hateful enough to turn itself into America over non-existent fears over non-existent problems.

A self-confident society that wasn’t apologizing for its ancestors and guilty about it success would, in an orderly, law-based fashion, put this fiend to death.

And now, having only the success of this domestic terrorist in your attempt to turn Norway into a racist shithole, you demand that Norway abandon its principles in a different way so that you can feel you got some measure of victory over them.

Cause apparently murdering 77 aspiring young liberals, using the fear of terrorism to make people question whether it is safe to do the right thing, and getting away scott free in a way we’d never ever let muslim-identified terrorists do…

That’s just not enough for your coal black heart. You want more. You need more. And ideally before Breivik can serve as a permanent monument to the cowardice and villainy of the American right-wing, reminding all Norwegians exactly why they need to fight for socialist reforms and immigrant rights.

There are no words for that level of ghoulish insanity. Mark Krikorian isn’t just inhuman, he’s a villain in a space opera.

He’s laughing all the way to the jailhouse.

Not really. He tried to jumpstart the “revolution”, he tried to inflame the country against the dirty muzzies, he even tried to twist the system into an injustice that would make Norwegians doubt it. He failed. His actions are recognized as the sane, “rational” actions they were to a mind poisoned on American right-wing hate. He will serve the rest of his years in a jail cell where he will not use his magnetic laser tits to escape and he will not kill another soul.

He and the American right-wing threw their worst at Norway, the worst single-person death spree they have ever had in their country. And Norway continues to function unimpeded, just as liberal, just as socialist as ever. But now with martyrs, now with a cause, now with a campaign message to any backfjord hick who’d even think of making common cause with the Norwegian or American right-wings.

You tried to break Norway and it laughed at you. You tried to press the undo button on your monster and it continues to prattle, linking you to him forever in the consciousness of every right-thinking European.

You tried to matter and you didn’t.

And if there is one silver lining in all this hateful worship over the manly virility of a cowardly child-murderer it is this:

The way Norway handled this causes you this much pain.

If there was any better defense of the way they chose to deal with it, it is that. No amount of indiscriminate bombing or vengeful killing could better strike back at those responsible and lay bare the complete meaningless and cowardice that is their lives.

So to you Norway, I raise a glass!

Skål!


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Norsk-in’ like a felon could only be invented by someone as white as me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*I’m spelling out the crime list a bit, because these fuckers really aren’t demanding he be extradited and then sent to Gitmo because of the women he very likely sexually assaulted back in his home country. Mostly because that isn’t a crime that merits “extraditing” away from the jurisdiction it occurred and also because I doubt these fuckers would even acknowledge it as a crime under normal circumstances.

**Oh wow, the post in the link. I almost urge you to check it out because it is such a perfect capturing of the exact moment a neo-nazi’s orgasm was interrupted mid-spurt. There’s the screaming ranting begging for the attack to be on the part of the filthy muslims combined with desperate excuse-making. Uh uh, we were right to suspect the muslims, they are the only real terrorists…uh uh, Breivik was just fighting back against the Muslim hordes, that’s not like real terrorism, right… um, well, LIBERALS ARE THE REAL GHOULS! They were celebrating how the murderer was another right-wing white guy, which was totally different than our ecstatic joy in thinking it was a filthy muzzie. AND IT’S ALL IN CAPS. BECAUSE INTERNET SHOUTING MAKES YOU RIGHT!!!!!!!!SOMANYEXCLAMATIONPOINTS!!!! Seriously, though, check it out, it’s almost wonderfully horrifying.

 

Comments: 99

 
 
 

Wealth brings power in all cultures, but the United States pioneered the only governing system that provides any significant check on elite privilege.

HAHAHAHAHA…that mango was too good to pass up!

 
 

a panel of psychologists to see if the patient has been rehabilitated enough to rejoin Norwegian society.

The panel will run a battery of tests including the ability to eat lutefisk without gagging and suitably patriotic reactions upon hearing the music of Edvard Grieg.

 
 

They should (re)introduce National Service in Norway. Every Norwegian national has to put in two months of singing Children of the Rainbow to Breivik! Then he’d regret it all.

 
 

Norway’s one-man Rassenreinheitseinsatzgruppe (Google translate it)
Enjoying the double insults to the intelligence of his readers — the assumptions that (a) they can’t understand a foreign word, and (b) it would never occur to them to translate it without his prompting.
The word itself is relevant because the Norwegians are German-speaking Nazis.

civilized Europeans would never extradite a Julian Assange to a place like America, where the death penalty is a possibility for certain offenses.

Perhaps they shouldn’t, but in practice, of course they do.
It was the Swedes themselves who raised the possibility of extraditing Assange.

 
 

the United States pioneered the only governing system that provides many significant checks on to those of elite privilege

.

Mxyzpfixed.

 
 

the ability to eat lutefisk without gagging
There are ingredients in akvavit to suppress the gag reflex.

 
 

Shit, I’m just surprised they’re not fans of the killer like Debbie Strudelbrains. After all, he killed liberals because they let too many brown people into the country. What’s not to like?

 
 

From the recently deceased thread:

She’s semi-abandoned us for the “intellectuals” at LGM and their so-called “discussion” of “issues” and “ideas.”

I visit LGM occasionally when my anger at Oregon Duck fans needs a boost. The most recent Paul Campos ridiculousness about homosexuality and obesity is very “intellectual” and the “discussion” is absolutely horrible. So now I’m angry in general. Yay.

 
 

They should (re)introduce National Service in Norway. Every Norwegian national has to put in two months of singing Children of the Rainbow to Breivik! Then he’d regret it all.

A tangent: we could move Disneyland’s “It’s a Small World” ride to Norway at great cost, so as to make Breivik ride around in a circle til the end of his days. He would eat, eliminate, and sleep (if able) on his boat, forever absorbing simple animatronic lessons of multiculturalism through song.

 
 

Wealth brings power in all cultures, but the United States pioneered the only governing system that provides any significant check on elite privilege.

I guess the Koch brothers were never notified of this.

 
 

The panel will run a battery of tests including the ability to eat lutefisk without gagging and suitably patriotic reactions upon hearing the music of Edvard Grieg.

tsam FAILS. I refuse to recognize that the existence of lutefisk is anything more than a nostalgic “tough guy” thing (like Haggis, only presumably much stinkier), and that things called “peasant food” are generally disgusting things that people ate only to avoid starvation.

Eating gross things only proves you can be on reality TV shows like all the other kids with the pumped up kicks. Aside from the possibility of getting some money at the expense of your dignity, there is no upside to that shit.

End sanctimonious, egocentric rant. Thank you.

 
 

A tangent: we could move Disneyland’s “It’s a Small World” ride to Norway at great cost, so as to make Breivik ride around in a circle til the end of his days. He would eat, eliminate, and sleep (if able) on his boat, forever absorbing simple animatronic lessons of multiculturalism through song.

I like it! The songs could be re-recorded by all his favorite American right wingers, Coulter, Malkin, KLo, Goldberg, etc.

Nah, that’s too cruel and unusual, even for a godless heathen liberal like me.

 
 

I guess the Koch brothers were never notified of this.

Or Congress, the preznit, and the Supreme Court…

 
 

I visit LGM occasionally when my anger at Oregon Duck fans needs a boost

I visited there today and didn’t find a single interesting thing to read.

 
 

I visited there today and didn’t find a single interesting thing to read.

Interesting!? Oh, but this is abuse, you want the next door down.

 
 

Further National Review fail: Norway isn’t trying to get Assange at all. It’s Sweden that wants him on rape charges.

 
 

Shit, I’m just surprised they’re not fans of the killer like Debbie Strudelbrains. After all, he killed liberals because they let too many brown people into the country. What’s not to like?

They just can’t admit in in public, because then they won’t get invited to the nice parties. I’m sure that, in their private get-togethers, they wax lyrical about guys like Breivik and Eric Rudolph.

 
address my envelope, lips!
 

lutefisk

I thought it was pickled herring? They offered it to me while I was in Sweden, but I assume it’s one of those you-have-to-be-raised-eating-it-to-like-it things, like Marmite.

They are far more compassionate there than in the US, as was demonstrated by their offer of “you can spit it out if you don’t like it”.

 
 

She’s semi-abandoned us for the “intellectuals” at LGM and their so-called “discussion” of “issues” and “ideas.”

At the risk of sounding like a Church Lady, maybe the long recent discussion of favorite porn stars was not a topic she felt qualified to weigh in on.

 
 

Norway has one of the lowest crime rates in the world

That’s not true. Scandinavian countries have loads of spree, mass, and serial killers. Although, usually there are two major cases at once that turn out to be connected to each other.

Or has Wallander lied to me?

 
 

Or has Wallander lied to me?

You can always get even with him by cutting the blood eagle into his back.

 
 

Scandinavian countries have loads of spree
Someone wasn’t paying attention in class. The Spree flows through Berlin.

 
 

I believe one spree-killer is worth 36,752 thefts of chocolate bars in the crime statistics.

 
 

I noticed VS was absent long before the porn star topic arose, but didn’t ask because of the chance that it might be a painful subject for some folks…

Silly in this instance perhaps, but I’ve seen things happen in tightly knit forums like this one that now make me refrain from asking “where is so-and-so, I haven’t seen her lately?”

 
 

Scandinavian countries have loads of spree, mass, and serial killers. Although, usually there are two major cases at once that turn out to be connected to each other.

There also seems to be a requirement in the police forces that for promotion to Detective you need to have a really miserable home-life with a drinking problem, an estranged partner and problem children.
This is what they get for inviting DI Rebus over from Edinburgh to advise on the training courses.

 
 

loads of spree

Sounds like a fetish porn series.

As in “Loads of Spree 27: Let Me Get You A Towel”

 
 

I noticed VS was absent long before the porn star topic arose, but didn’t ask because of the chance that it might be a painful subject for some folks…
Silly in this instance perhaps, but I’ve seen things happen in tightly knit forums like this one that now make me refrain from asking “where is so-and-so, I haven’t seen her lately?”

She posts fairly regularly at her own blog but she’s been busy lately.

 
 

Uh…

Look Cerb, you’ve written a few pieces that seemed like a bit of a stretch – spitting venom at articles that weren’t that wingnutty, or attributing truly heinous notions to people who didn’t warrant them. I always kept my mouth shut, because it’s really not my place to say anything. But this…I don’t see anything in either of these posts that’s really offensive.

You’re really shocked that someone who didn’t understand Norway’s system would be offended by that verdict? You’ve never been offended when someone got a light sentence for a serious crime? There are plenty of people in this community in the “lock up Wall Street forever” camp, so don’t give me that.

Now, as to the whole big chunk starting with:

You know, I used to be baffled…

Was that meant to be a parody? If I’d seen that on a right-wing site, I’d figure it for someone tone deaf attempt to satirize liberals. Seriously, what was that shit about how the United States “hand-crafted the worst terrorist that Norway”? Brevik’s homicidal nationalism is distinctly European. Neo-fascist movements are gaining steam in Europe, especially in the north. We didn’t have anything to do with it. I realize that liberals tend to lionize Europe, but the fact is that they have their own problems with nationalism and racism and the continued denial of these things just makes my side look ignorant.

Oh, and Osama bin Laden was a “Saudi douchebag living in the Pakistan desert with a handy-cam and a cell phone”? Seriously? And I’m not even going to get into the Assange worship, which is all over FDL and continues to disturb me.

Look, I get it. The ghouls are out in force in Florida and everyone’s looking for the low-hanging fruit. But was it really necessary to reach this far? Can’t we all just take turns stomping Chris Christie in the nuts like a sane group?

That’s all I have. Call me a troll if you must, I’m used to it by now.

 
 

Wealth brings power in all cultures, but the United States pioneered the only governing system that provides any significant check on elite privilege.

Why yes, yes it did. Now if only it could remember where it put that significant check, it would really come in handy about now.

 
 

lutefisk

Medieval stringed instrument disputation.

loads of spree

Sounds like a fetish porn series.

Sounds more like what I ate at the movies. Ably assisted by its partner in crime, “loads of Sprite.”

 
 

That’s not true. Scandinavian countries have loads of spree, mass, and serial killers

It’s the six months of darkness. Drives ’em crazy.

 
 

It’s the six months of darkness. Drives ‘em crazy.
Nonsense, sir! During winter everyone is happily occupied keeping the vampire hordes at bay. It’s the six months of unbroken insomnia during summer that does people’s heads in.
That and fermented salmon.

 
 

On the list of things I’d like to see fermented, I have to go waaaay down the list to get to salmon.

 
 

it’s a world of laughter

 
 

Sorry, should have typed ‘herring’.
Apparently surströmming is not allowed on planes (due to the risk of the cans exploding) so Major Kong is fairly safe.

 
 

a world of tears

 
 

a world of tears

That comes after eating the lutefisk.

 
 

it’s a world of hope

 
 

D Johnson-

I don’t think you are a troll for what it’s worth.

Unfortunately, we (meaning America) did create Breivik. His manifesto was entirely copy-paste from American wingnuts and the things he was worried about, while partially rooted in European neo-nazism, is also heavily rooted in popular islamophobic fear tactics spread by the likes of Pamela Geller. Again, he directly quoted extensively from American right-wing sources for his rationale and may even have been a regular commenter in good standing on blogs like Atlas Shrugged. If not, he was definitely an avid reader.

This has actually been a large problem in the Scandanavian countries as of late. Demented right-wingers who drown themselves in American right-wing or extremist literature and find themselves even more disconnected from what they perceive as “home-grown permissiveness”. Manboobz recently had a bit on an MRA activist and ally of Breivik who ranted on his blog about his plan to kill a bunch of cops to protest what he perceived was wholesale alliance by cops with the filthy mudcreatures known as women.

American right-wingers may have not personally armed him nor given him his “mission”, but they certainly took an already hateful and violent person, wound him up, and unleashed him with no care for collateral.

The Osama bin Laden statement was intended as a pitch black bit of humor. If it offended, I apologize. Overall the point was more how thoroughly we trashed our civil rights in fear of a man who turned out just to be a hedonist who got lucky once. His follow-up terrorist plots were complete fail, 9/11 could have been prevented if the Bush team actually listened to Clinton, and when we actually bothered to do some old fashioned international police work, we rounded him up rather quickly. His crimes were monstrous, but our response was fearful and unwarranted. He wasn’t Magneto and his attempts to rise to our image of him as world’s greatest monster demonstrated that. If you don’t believe me, look up some of their laughably terrible “training videos”.

As far as the first post goes. Yeah, it’s not that terrible. A little ignorant, a little blood-thirsty, but that’s how it goes. Hence why the first post mostly got kid gloves, pointing out that he wasn’t as smart as he thought he was and that the Norwegian system doesn’t work the way he thinks it does. And why there was a lot of rumination on how his demand for “more” really reveals that it’s hard to get “equal” punishment for big crimes and why it’s better to just have a functional justice system that ensures that justice rather than vengeance is enacted. A lot of the injustice of our system has been caused by it being used more as an instrument of vengeance against a certain type of person in American society, thus often letting worse crimes go unpunished because it would be “unfair” to send “proper people” to those places reserved for “the criminal element”.

The second post however? I stand by what I said. Krikorian was screaming dog-whistles and for a paragraph just straight repeated Breivik’s rationale wholesale like it was perfectly justified and hoped to hide that by joining in the call for death at the very end. I urge you to reread the second post again, because it’s really remarkably inhuman and wrong. And no, Krikorian was not arguing from a point of thinking the sentence was unfair. He acknowledges that Breivik wouldn’t see the outside of a cell and even counters the original poster about it being bad that immigrant lives are devalued. It’s bad. It’s really bad.

As for why I had the musing in general on why these reactions keep happening is that they keep happening. This is the 3rd and 4th post I’ve used for the site and the countless number of posts I’ve encountered of the right-wing half-apologizing for Anders Breivik while openly masturbating on how cool it would be if Norway betrayed its principles and legal system by giving him the death penalty. Once is odd. Several times is just some pimping of the “pro-death” position in the capital punishment debate. This many times? It’s about something fundamental, something that’s sticking in the wingnut collective craw and this is my theory on what that is.

Finally, fuck the RNC. I mean it. It’s a bunch of obvious spin bullshit and jumping on Chris Christie is something I leave to you all or Tintin. It’s not like on-topic is something we really do here. Besides, I’ve been choking on the amount of material. This post? The last of a buffer of posts I created just on the strength of some terrible wingnuttery.

Might I cover some RNC stuff? I don’t think I’ll be able to avoid it, but right now? No. Sorry if that’s cowardly, but I don’t know what I can bring that’s fresh. Romney’s still the Smiler, he’s drafted the Joker to be his VP and has decided that his entire campaign strategy is going to be a post-reality campaign where words and ideas and facts simply don’t matter and media spin can exist entirely without context or value. On top of that, the GOP has gone all in on the Southern Strategy to the point that the attendees (the scrubbed clean “best face” of the GOP) was throwing peanuts at a black journalist and telling him that’s how they feed animals.

I’ll probably make that funny within the next week, but right now? Have fun with that.

 
 

Oh and might I add that I don’t give Julain Assange any free pass for the rapes he very likely committed. Hence the first footnote. But the “extradition” and the demand for it is not for his sexual assaults. Those occurred in Sweden and yeah, he probably should be in jail in Sweden for those crimes.

But making us look like jumps by doing some basic level journalism and giving whistle-blowers a place to dump their finds (you know, like journalists used to do)? No, that’s not a real fucking crime and certainly not one that deserves the death penalty or half the harassment we’ve done on Wikileaks.

So yeah, I fully acknowledge the difference between the two in the same way I think Roman Polanski should rot in jail for the rest of his life but I absolutely adore his films and consider some of them (Rosemary’s Baby) to be feminist masterpieces.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Nick: It’s not much consolation, but the Norway mass murderer (whose name, like the names the Sikh temple shooter or Gabby Giffords’s shooter or the Batman shooter, should be repeated as little as possible, since public exposure is what they crave)

Okay then!

The names of the 77 victims, which should be publicized whenever possible, are listed here.

 
 

And now that that’s out of the way.

I think I’ve got the real reason that the Scandanavian countries drive the wingnuts crazy.

Look at a map of Norway, Finland, and Sweden.

Yep, a bunch of limp dicks clustered together. It’s like every wingnut fear of loss of virility and gay panic rolled into one. That, lutefisk, and successful socialism is why Scandanavia has to die.

 
 

there’s so much that we share

 
 

Call me a troll if you must, I’m used to it by now.

Troll.
~

 
 

Fermented salmon heads are an Inuit delicacy, known as stink heads. Basically, the generally-accepted edible parts are separated from the heads and eaten fresh, then the heads are buried for a few weeks until they get all fermented and stinky and mushy. Then they’re dug up, mashed into gruel, and served at special occasions as a delicacy.

Obviously, this is not done commercially. If you want stink head, you gotta make your own. Sometimes, the stink chef will screw up and seal the fish heads too tightly, allowing anaerobic (botulism) bacteria to grow, and then the special occasions turn into tragedies as lots of people get sick and even die from eating the toxic stink heads.

The Inuit make all kinds of “stinky” foods from all kinds of animal parts. The most famous is the case of the stinky beaver that killed most of the elders of an entire tribe back in the 1990’s.

Yes, the headline in the Anchorage fishwrap read “Stinky Beaver Kills 13.”

 
 

that it’s time we’re aware

 
 

Fermented salmon heads are an Inuit delicacy, known as stink heads. Basically, the generally-accepted edible parts are separated from the heads and eaten fresh, then the heads are buried for a few weeks until they get all fermented and stinky and mushy. Then they’re dug up, mashed into gruel, and served at special occasions as a delicacy.

As a big nam pla, patis, or whatever you call it, I can’t denigrate this practice.

Yes, the headline in the Anchorage fishwrap read “Stinky Beaver Kills 13.”

Most “comedic” tragedy EVER!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Pfft!* Lutefisk is nothing. Give me hákarl or nothing.

*”orgy” might work at times but, autocorrect, not this time.

Also FYWP

 
 

Look at a map of Norway, Finland, and Sweden.
Yep, a bunch of limp dicks clustered together.

Finland : The testicles of Europe

Iceland = goatse?

 
 

In response to the seven comments I’ve had time to read here in August:

1.) Yes;
2.) Thanks. I really like that, too;
3.) Oh, that’s a good one. May I steal that?;
4.) MWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
5.) Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry;
6.) … and then the turtle said to the bartender, “I’m but a shell of my former self.”;
7.) Splunge.
.

 
 

I don’t give Julain Assange any free pass for the rapes he very likely committed.

Sweden is seeking to extradite Assange so they can question him on one allegation of rape, two allegations of sexual molestation, and an allegation of unlawful coercion. Note that these are allegations, and that no charges have been laid by Swedish police. Indeed, professor emeritus Ove Bring, of the Swedish national defence college, has said, “If he goes to Sweden, is interrogated, then I expect the case would be dropped, as the evidence is not enough to charge him with a crime.”

 
 

“Professor Emeritus” and “Swedish National Defence College”.

 
 

Well if I was also being pedantic, I’d note that “innocent until proven guilty” is a legal right. People still have the right to consider someone scummy or see the evidence that has surfaced and the accused’s response to it and believe they are guilty.

They just aren’t supposed to bring such views into a court where it can impact someone’s right to a fair trial.

Also, equally pedantically, I said “likely committed”.

 
 

Not Safe For Dinnertime

Yikes. I couldn’t make it past the Mangled Baby Ducks.

 
 

Cerberus,

How do you know Julian Assange “likely committed” sexual crimes in Sweden? The initial investigating prosecutor didn’t think so. The case is a lot murkier than you’re making it out to be.

I’m personally sick of people jumping on the “Assange is a perverted sex fiend” bandwagon just to keep their feminist cred intact.

 
 

I’m personally sick of people jumping on the “Assange is a perverted sex fiend” bandwagon just to keep their feminist cred intact.

What if I said that he suffers from vagina envy?

 
 

Julian’s only crime to America, as if I needed to remind you, being that he embarrassed us by committing the dastardly unseemly down-right evil crime of… basic journalism.

Didn’t sound then like you found Assange “scummy”. Which was kind of my point—you had it exactly right the first time. But then some commenter intones “Assange worship” and your all, yeah, that rapist!

You’re one of the good ones, Cerberus, that much is obvious. I just thought you let yourself down there, is all.

 
 

bargal20-

I don’t think there would be anything wrong with Assange if he was a perverted sex fiend. Perverted sex fiends can be great people.

Assange, by the consistency of the accusations made against him, what he admitted in defense of himself when said accusations were made against him, and his manner of defense to said accusations were consistent with someone who does not value consent and views women much like a “game” to “score” on.

Additionally, said defenses were of a whole different character and style to the defenses against the trumped up cases presented by the American government.

In short, the evidence plus the fact that he acted like a guilty weasel who has admitted to “massaging the line of consent” in the past means I personally regard him as a douchebag if not a full-blown rapist.

As I said before, I respect the man for reminding the world what journalism looks like. I do not respect him as a person and I suspect if I knew him in person, I’d be heavily inclined to deck him in the shnoz.

 
 

Cripes, Eastwood is terrible.
~

 
 

Eastwood is fucking senile. It’s pathetic. He sounds like someone’s dotty uncle.

 
 

the r’s suck shit after all

 
 

Marco Rubio sounds like he’s trying to be Obama from 2004, only for very young children or exceptionally stupid people.

 
 

Cerberus,

Blah, blah, blah…what you wrote is a lot of personal opinion based on info you got from who- knows- what sources. You don’t even provide links.

 
 

I’m inclined to trust the women coming forth over a sketchy dude with clear consent issues. That’s just me though.

 
 

Romney thinks Neil Armstrong wants him to be president.

 
 

bargal20-

Well yeah, you asked for the rationale behind my personal opinion. I’m not exactly arguing a debate point here or writing a post on the guy. And it really doesn’t matter one spit to the Universe what I think of the man on a personal level.

 
 

Romney things love is a good thing.

 
 

“Thinks,” also.

 
 

Romney thinks Neil Armstrong wants him to be president.

He’s so delusional that he thinks a majority of ‘merkins want him to be president.

 
 

Romney thinks women should be allowed to vote.

 
 

Romney likes his family.

 
 

Women should be allowed to vore.

 
Mitt "A Real Boy" Romney
 

I am overcome with human emotions. I have human qualities. Earth women are also humans.

 
 

Yikes…he does look around like a damn watering hose when he speaks.

 
 

Whoa…Mitt just said Obama “failed” because he had no business experience.

 
 

The fact is, Romney is going to outlaw liberalism and I can hardly weight until all of you scum are in jail.

 
 

DEAR MITT

PLEASE TELL US OF YOUR SEKRIT PLAN TO MAKE USA USA USA ENERGY INDEPENDENT!

PLEASE TELL US OF YOUR SEKRIT PLAN TO CREATE 12 MILLION JOBS!

No, really, tell us. You do understand the difference between a goal and a plan, yes?

DOH! I iz stupids.

 
 

You do understand the difference between a goal and a plan, yes?

Sure. “A man, a goal, a calao, Ganama” is just plain stupid.

 
 

PLEASE TELL US OF YOUR SEKRIT PLAN TO MAKE USA USA USA ENERGY INDEPENDENT!

PLEASE TELL US OF YOUR SEKRIT PLAN TO CREATE 12 MILLION JOBS!

Everyone is going to drill for oil!

 
 

It was enough for me to remember Eastwood for “The Changeling”. That was a phenomenal story based on a real life incident. Authority can be that cruel and incoherent and I think he did a great job of telling that story. But look what they’ve left us with! That is so sad. Doesn’t someone in that crowd have a sclerotic uncle that could have performed as well without dragging a Hollywood icon through the muck with them?

Rat fucking bastards!

 
 

As a 99 times out of 100 lurker, I need to step in as I very occasionally do to tell you, Cerb, that this is an example of you at your very best. Don’t let pseudo-trolls get you down. You’re spot on in your evaluation of these idiots.

I was looking for something snarky to add, but that would detract from my real admiration for this post.

 
 

I will simply note in passing that some of my NRO comments of late have gone the way of Amelia Earhart, & that I submitted comments on both the posts that are cited here.

( /meta-trollwhoring )

 
 

Tweet of the day: Matt Ruff RT
Megan McArdle ?@asymmetricinfo
It’s taken all day, but just inflated the 100,000th balloon to drop from the ceiling of the Stately McSuderman McMansion when Romney speaks

Perhaps too subtle but still…

 
bughunter, who was actually looking for more boobies when he found this,
 

I found some source material for Cerb’s next photoshop: The Devil’s Trombone

[ If you’re at work, then note the source: /r/NSFW_WTF ]

 
 

Is that what they mean by “posthumous baptism”?

 
 

So, yeah… I was wondering how to make the RNC funny?

Problem solved.

New post.

 
 

Someone should tell the NRO that elephants and the letter O are not shaped the same.

 
 

Ditto to notjonathon’s comment. This post was a thing of beauty, and its joy is holding up well past the usual pull-by date of an internet post.

 
 

N__B said,

August 31, 2012 at 4:22

the r’s suck shit after all

Spectacularly well played. Bravo.

Coupled with a “Dammit, now I’ll hear the damn thing all day”

 
 

NRO are just pissed he’ll never get out to become a Faux Nooz “commentator”.

 
 

Cerberus: Your rant at the end of the first act was stellar. I remember looking on in horror after 9/11 as the right wing went collectively INSANE (beyond the usual, that is) with TERROR and started systematically dismantling our rights and freedoms in the hope that Daddy (George Bush) will SAVE US if we just bow and scrape enough. Being a better wordsmith than I, you managed to express it much more vividly, and I thank you.

 
 

tintin
the following neologism “backfjord”
level of genius factor: infinite

 
 

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