But Don’t You Dare Call Her Stupid!

Damn it right wing! Stop producing fail faster than I can mock it!

Mona Charen, National What the Fuck Is Wrong With You People:
Akin and His Critics

Ah, Mona Charen, Bob’s gift to the Dunning-Kruger effect. If she’s not losing fights against her spellcheck software or demanding specific reactions to national tragedies, she’s declaring war on the concept of the future or something equally brilliant. If she was entered into a Jeopardy contest against a turnip on a bungee cord and a man having an epileptic seizure, she’d still manage to place third.

What I’m saying is that she’s not particularly bright. So her weighing in on Suicide Cliff Number 3,000,817 for the Republican Party (otherwise known as Todd Akin) was bound to be embarrassing at best.

Yeah… this wasn’t exactly “at best”.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • It is perfectly reasonable to think that women are ducks and that men can produce male heirs purely by having manlier sperm.

Sigh…

I suppose I should thank Mona. Not just for making my job so easy I could literally walk away for two hours and return to find a completed post with far better grammar than my usual fare.

But for smashing home a point I made in the footnotes of my last post on this subject. That being that Todd Akin’s beliefs weren’t some odd brainfart caused by an excess of ben gay and heat exposure, but rather the accidental airing of what a lot of forced birthers actually believe.

The idea that there are good girls and bad girls and “good girls” just don’t get into trouble like bad girls and thus don’t need “escaping punishment” medical procedures. Not to mention the general ignorance on how biology works at all.

These are people who think that the sperm is the only thing responsible for the creation of life and that it produces full grown children the instant they encounter an egg. Who think that wombs exist in some nebulous field of white noise completely separate from the filthy woman creatures who house them with no ill effect whatsoever. Who think that 50s TV housewife stereotypes are “biological realities” that can somehow be socially resisted but only by “bad girls” who embrace Satan by admitting they enjoy sex. Who really are baffled by the notion of consent and cannot see how that could possibly matter in a world where all sex is bad and all women are dirty whores except for a handful of those you know personally.

And that’s before you factor in their successful decades-long campaign to keep us all pig ignorant about sexual biology beyond “sex can produce pregnancy and horrible death diseases that will instantly kill you if you even think about fornicating you filthy sluts”.

The more these lizard people rip off their masks and remind us that the people demanding absolute control over everyone’s reproductive rights know about as much about human biology and sex as a goddamn Conehead, the more quickly we can resolve our collective dysfunction and kick these fuckers back into the gutter where they belong.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, how bad could Mona’s post really be?

Todd Akin would do his party and his country a service by stepping aside. The rest of the campaign will be dominated by this side issue, possibly denying Republicans a key Senate seat. To use the words “legitimate” and “rape” in the same phrase betrays a serious lack of judgment.

Yes… using words like legitimate and rape, as if they were just amorphous sounds that Akin foolishly included in the same sentence to be maliciously edited by vile liberals, truly did show a lack of judgment.

But I think it was less the “legitimate rape” part of it and more the well… kinda sorta arguing that if a rape victim gets pregnant SHE MUST HAVE SECRETLY WANTED TO BE RAPED because of some insane non-science that’s been floating around the Professional Woman Hater’s Brigade since its very inception.

And again, not sure if that’s a failure of judgment really. More empathy, humanity, basic scientific literacy, and an apparent failure by his parents to even broach the subject of the birds and the bees with anything other than cringing embarassment.

But hey, it looks bad, but it’s not like she’s going to start dog-whistling his point that “real rape victims can’t get pregnant” or something-

Only about 1 percent of women undergoing abortions report that they were raped, according to the Alan Guttmacher Institute. One percent is not zero.

Oh sonuvabitch!

Hey, remember that War on Women that’s totally not occurring? Not to mention that Rape Culture, the one that talks about how we like to minimize and deliver apologetics for rape rather than try and solve it? You know, the one that’s totally just a feminist fantasy invented to get back at men for being terrible at sex?

I don’t know why I was reminded of them all of a sudden. Must be my malfunctioning lady brain over-heating again.

I mean, I could point out that I imagine only about 1% of any type of woman having random sex without protection gets pregnant. Eggs aren’t really dropping 24/7, a lot of women are on the pill regularly if they can afford it, and abortion by God rates are through the fucking roof. Anyone who’s actually been trying to get pregnant can relate how hard it can be. And that’s before we note the really obvious.

Like, how many ways it is possible to rape a woman without cumming in a vagina. Or maybe the fact that a lot of rape victims take the Morning After Pill if they weren’t already on the contraceptive pill. Or heck, how about the fact that most people pregnant with a rape baby PROBABLY AREN’T GOING TO TELL RESEARCHERS ABOUT IT. We tend to stigmatize rape victims heavily and overly scrutinize their sexual history. That and there’s a lot of internalized shame given to people who are raped. Not to mention that a lot of people rationalize control into complete losses of control in order to psychologically cope. In short, a lot of rape victims don’t acknowledge their rapes, especially in the time frame you’d need to get an abortion in. And that only gets more apparent when you’re talking about abuse victims like incest victims or victims of statutory rape.

But fuck, why bother covering this when the whole point is to wink and smile to the faithful about how even though we’re shoving Akin under the bus, we really do believe that rape victims are an invention of the Feminazi Conspiracy?!?

But I’m only a paragraph in and ranting like a crazy woman. I need to calm down before we get to the real head-scratching stupidity.

That much having been said, I must offer a mild dissent to the widespread view expressed by both Republicans and Democrats that what Akin said was outrageously “stupid.”

He only underlined our atrocious biological and sex education levels, by delivering a line so ignorant it might as well have been “how is babby formed”, but to call that stupid?

That’s just mean.

The “legitimate rape” wording was atrocious, agreed.

Again, not the point, but thanks for reminding us of how the right wing has all been collectively swarming over that distraction to keep us from noting that Akin’s belief is a popular forced birther meme originally stolen from poorly-run Nazi death camp experiments.

But much of the commentary has focused on Akin’s mistaken belief that women’s bodies have the capacity to “shut down” the reproductive process in cases of rape. (Akin has since acknowledged that he was wrong.)

And all it took was being collectively mocked by the entire nation.

Interviewing Akin on Good Morning America, George Stephanopoulos spoke for many when he said, “A lot of people are wondering how an idea like that can even get in your head.”

And for this, George Stephanopoulos must be split asunder, each limb being buried in a different corner of the globe, with the land therein sown with salt.

But what is yon fair scent upon the wind?

Smells like a brewing meme!

Really? Is it such an outlandish idea? I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that pregnancies are less likely in cases of rape, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

HALLELUJAH!

For those who were worrying that Akin’s original “women are ducks who can’t be raped” screed was getting stale as a meme, rejoice, for the right wing Gods have delivered.

There’s basically only three responses I could possibly give to this manna from the heavens.

1)Surrendering to the meme. I mean, why not? “I looked it up, and it appears there is no evidence that the Earth is secretly flat, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.”

2) The obvious. I mean, the right-wing has always been “truthiness” incarnate with the “we create our own reality” and “facts don’t matter” and hostility to our common-place reality where Jesus didn’t use a jetpack and an AK to defeat the commies and the environmentalists and give everyone a free SUV that runs on fairy tears. But here they are literally arguing that it shouldn’t matter if they are wrong because they believe they’re right, damnitt! I could retire this second with that note because that pretty much is the shorter to every single right-wing post that can possibly succeed this one. Close up the shop boys, we might as well go home!

3) The serious.

Of course it’s perfectly reasonable to her.

It was perfectly reasonable to Akin and it’s probably perfectly reasonable to most of her readers.

Of course they really believe that “good girls” can’t be impregnated unless they want to be. Of course they really believe that there’s no such thing as a “good girl” who gets raped.

These are professional sexists who decided to latch onto biological absurdities to hide their utter fear of a world where their rightful property went out and got jobs of their own and developed the sort of self-respect that precluded dating human scum like them.

They fear sex, biology, and a ripe world out there where people really are bags of flesh awash in emotions instead of pure god-children unhindered by the mortal world.

As I’ve noted several times already. This isn’t some new bit of insanity cooked up by a candidate who’s had a few with the scary fringe of the forced birth movement. This is part and parcel of what most of them believe and they are really only whining because they got caught. Because the releasing of their id on how “the pill” is slutiness incarnate, or how there’s no such thing as a “legitimate rape victim”, or that medical services or the right to choose one’s romantic partner should only be given to the “good girls” who know better than to seek such things, has backfired for them. Badly.

People were all down with their shit when it was all vague allusions to female sexuality and “what about TEH BABIEZ growing up in their pure white fields of nothingness”. But spelled out? That it really is about rejecting that harlot of a Chunky Reese Witherspoon because she doesn’t want to risk getting pregnant riding a hateful closeted gay man’s cock and believing that if you can put a bun in her oven from the gang-rape, she must have loved it, the filthy dyke bitch?

They over-estimated just how far people are willing to indulge their hatred of women and ignorance of biology in this modern age.

Many things about the human body are peculiar and amazing.

This is going to be another one of those “but if we actually understand biology then it removes the miracles of ignorance” things again isn’t it?

Much like Dawkins, I’m repeatedly amazed at how idiots insist on avoiding all the truly fascinating insanity that is reality, because they think wonder is something only available to those with a mind like a child’s.

We can make nematodes live exponentially longer lives than they should. We can precision land remote-control vehicles on another planet and make them do our science for us. We can make fully-automated machines capable of traversing us exponentially faster than we could ever move on foot and even criss-cross the sky and we can make these common and dull. We can eliminate horrifying diseases and make silly fiction story ideas into real world objects.

But we insist on being collectively stupid so we can be “amazed”.

Apparently for all our blather about imagination, we’re a bit thick.

And frankly, more people than are today admitting it must believe that a woman’s mental state has something to do with her capacity to conceive. Consider that every woman (including me) who has ever experienced infertility is told, even by some doctors, that she should try to “relax.”

So women being magical creatures who can shoot out unwanted sperm like a reverse rape fountain is a perfectly sane conclusion to make…

Why are you all staring at me? I’m serious.

Though dismissed as a myth for some time, the role of stress in infertility is being reconsidered now by specialists. Dr. Margareta D. Pisarska, co-director of the Center for Fertility and Reproductive Medicine at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, told WebMD that “it’s becoming more and more important, in terms of what studies we do, to focus our efforts on the physiological effects of stress and how they may play a role in conception.”

Stress yes. More importantly, starvation yes. Say like the stress and starvation conditions utterly ignored by the Nazi scientists who birthed this insane bit of biological ignorance.

When someone is stressed out and haunted on a daily basis, their hormones tend to be out-of-whack which can indeed “affect” menstrual cycles…

By which I mean, literally throw them out of whack. People who live in stress often can find their cycle occurring at seemingly random intervals or skipping over entire months or coming all at once.

But sperm is still sperm and one night of fear and trauma doesn’t exactly equal something like a clinical depression or a severe anxiety disorder (though they can certainly trigger such a disorder).

But even if this wasn’t complete horseshit, what the fuck would that matter?!?

Rape is still rape and can still create pregnancies and the whole “rape exception” bullshit is in itself a distraction tactic trying to make us forget A) that abortion is a legal and medically ethical surgical procedure so who the fuck cares why someone needs it and B) denying someone consent about what they do with their own bodies and demanding the right to use their body as YOU see fit regardless of their desires is RAPE.

The forced birther brigade wants to RAPE every single woman who engages in any type of PIV heterosexual sex. Wants to RAPE them for 9 months so they can learn the “price” for their “sins”.

Yeah, it’s no fucking surprise that they are trying to minimize rape and make it seem like true real, deserving victims couldn’t possibly be raped, because they are hoping to rape all of us enough to force us back in the kitchens where we belong.

The body is capable of impressive feats.

For instance, it can produce columns like this.

And with the right attachments, it can even mince and create julienne fries!

The breast milk of mothers who give birth to preemies is chemically different from the milk produced for full-term infants. It has a higher concentration of fat, protein, iron, chloride, and sodium — which is believed to aid the development of premature infants.

No. No it doesn’t.

But hey, since we’ve traded in one forced birth myth, why not release a few more?

This particular myth is actually rather common due to a fanatical group of breast-feeding fetishists among “mommy” groups. Basically, to this group, breast-feeding is not only good in many cases and can even be preferable in some, it is perfect for every possible situation. Cause, see, if something is your preferred method of raising your kid, it must the method everyone everywhere uses or else they are evil McHitlerSatan who trusts evil doctors who want to curb-stomp your artifact child with their artificial sterile science. These groups also often encourage mothers to prevent hospitals from doing life-saving interventions on premature births or getting your kid vaccine shots because of doctor-related contamination getting in the way of “all natural”.

In short, we’re talking about idiots.

Sadly, though, when the subject is premature births, the science is less on their side. See, all breast milk tends to have “higher amounts of protein” immediately after birth producing a thin yellowish fluid versus the thick and creamy milk that appears later. And whether that can be enough for children born prematurely can often depend on context. Studies looking at breastfeeding versus formula have seen varying results, but most conclusions support mixing the two, supplementing the mother’s milk with some formula in order to ensure that the pre-maturely born child can compensate for the low-birth-weight and other complications that come from early birth.

And that leads to the big elephant in the room.

The mother is also affected by early birth. As the study points out, a lot of breastfeeding mothers, even for late preterm infants, have poor lactation outcomes when they try and feed their newborns mostly because the pre-term infant is too little and early to optimally consume the amount of breast milk it needs to stay alive. Not to mention that many of the mothers themselves have delayed lactogenesis.

What does that mean in English? It means milk production is often delayed until a date closer to when the mother’s body expected to give birth. This means the child can suffer poor growth, jaundice, and dehydration because the mother and child aren’t well… full grown enough to optimally feed.

This isn’t unexpected. After all, history is fucking covered in horror stories of how prematurely born kids tended to die rather immediately. Hell, it was common enough that the mothers of prematurely born kids and stillbirths were often hired by the rich to serve as wet nurses to their children.

But hey, what do we care about science when we have MOAR STUPID!

Kevin Williamson notes in the current National Review that high-status men have more male children than ordinary men. Is it “stupid” to believe that this phenomenon is real?

I’ll just let you soak that in a bit.

Oh yeah, she’s not only trying to humanize and rescue Todd Akin’s nationally mocked bout of pure ignorance, she’s going to do the same to Kevin Williamson’s bizarre paean to 15th century beliefs on the production of male heirs.

I mean, say what you will about Todd Akin’s belief that women’s vaginas are a reverse rape cannon, at least there we can blame our shameful lack of a real national sex education standard. It’s only by blind luck and internet porn that kids can graduate high school knowing there is such a thing as a penis or a vagina much less a sperm and an egg.

I’m not saying it’s not dumb, but at least there it’s not the introduction to biology concept. I mean, you don’t even have to get to the “evilution is a lie” stage of the class to get the basics of genetics and how there’s no way to affect whether a child is one gender or another. No matter what, it’s a 50/50 coin flip. Every time*.

I mean, that’s a myth we knocked out of our collective consciousness back in the early 1900s. Seeing someone argue that you can birth male sons by drinking Red Bull and fucking a steak is like encountering someone who believes that an Irishman’s freckles are where his Satanic influence is breaking through the skin.

It’s not just pig ignorant. It’s archaically pig ignorant. I mean, say what you will about the Akin myth, but at least that one has its origin in the 20th century.

So, please, Mona McLosestoherspellcheck, explain how this time-traveling bit of sexist Bizarro-logic makes perfect sense to the neurotransmitter-deficient.

Testosterone levels vary widely among men and are known to change in response to events.

Uh huh… And the relation of this to meiosis is…

The liberal blogger Andrew Sullivan wrote an absorbing piece more than a decade ago about the role of testosterone.

Yes, the whiny gay blogger upset that he can’t find a conservative daddy to fap to who isn’t so completely borked it’d make him look pathetic to praise is definitely a liberal.

But back to the whole connection to actual fertilization and impregnation if you wi-

It seems that when tennis players’ testosterone levels were monitored before and after a match, researchers found that “the winner of any single game sees his T production rise; the loser sees it fall. The ultimate winner experiences a postgame testosterone surge, while the loser sees a collapse. This is true even for people watching sports matches. A 1998 study found that fans backing the winning side in a college basketball game and a World Cup soccer match saw their testosterone levels rise; fans rooting for the losing teams in both games saw their own T levels fall.”

That is a fine mess of horseshit evopsych pseudoscience, but again, the connection of that to sperm cells, the likelihood of them containing a Y chromosome after 50/50 meiotic division?

Fuck, failing that, maybe even the bizarre association of testosterone with “manliness”. I mean, yes, technically, testosterone and estrogen are the magic two ingredients that determine whether our “totally ingrained” exterior features are male or female.

But see, that just underlines how far away our concepts of “manliness” and “womanliness” are from the actual biology. Someone with high testosterone may be more likely to be bald but certainly isn’t more likely to be more “macho” in the pejorative sense. And much hilarity has ensued in making a group of manly men take a testosterone test only to find the gay guy has the highest levels of all.

But hey, I’m sure she’s got some strong responses lined up to shut us u-

Akin’s mistaken belief in the unlikelihood of rape-induced pregnancy is now being lassoed into service against other Republicans.

Or not.

Seriously, that was the defense of Williamson? THAT WAS THE DEFENSE?!?

I know I shouldn’t expect much from the lady who can’t even intellectually defeat a spell-check program, but WOW!

Kevin Williamson is perfectly reasonable because yes men do apparently dictate the sex their sperm homunculus babby will take in the womb receptacle simply by being so manly they stole their transguy friend’s supply of T…

I… My biologist side can’t even begin to… it’s so utterly contemptibly ignorant that I can’t…

No. Just noooooooooooooo!

I… I need to volunteer to run a biology night class now… How do they even…

Virginia Republican Senate candidate George Allen, who denounced Akin, is nonetheless being flayed by the Washington Post for having once voted to confirm a judge who had once, long before, expressed views similar to Akin’s.

I mean, all he did was put a man specifically in charge of ruling on issues of ladybits for the purpose of ruling on issues of ladybits, who is so pig-ignorant on the biology of ladybits he can’t even get the species correct.

It’s like you think things like that matter and that positions of power and authority should be given to people with a greater intellectual prowess than a powdered donut or at least a tenuous connection to the real world.

And you liberals wonder why our nation’s going to Hell in a Handbasket.

So Akin’s views are scandalous and can be used to discredit (however implausibly) other Republicans.

Well, those who agree with him, yes. It’s not like people were out going “gee that Todd Akin sure is crazy, let’s dogpile on Steve King for posing in a picture with him once”. I mean, geez, right wing, we’re not… well you.

We would have been perfectly content to make this a private show for one if it didn’t become immediately apparent that this wasn’t some one-off brain-fart.

I think our biggest clue was all the people streaming out of the wood-work of the He-Man Woman-Hater’s clubhouse to defend this rancid pile of garbage and his offensively ignorant views on how those filthy women creatures work.

But the views of the leaders of the Democratic party — favoring abortion for any (including sex selection)

Yeah, pro-choicers, you’re on the hook for China’s control of female sexuality. What? You say you protest that too and note that its actually us forced birthers who have historically been for forced abortions for groups deemed “lesser”.

How dare you use reality to counter our bullshit false equivalence! Fourteen billion trillion years in the Box because I say so!

or no reason throughout the nine months of pregnancy — is not controversial.

Yeah. It really is not controversial. At all.

It’s in fact the law. And it’s not just the law, it’s medically ethical and doesn’t reduce a woman into an unwilling slave entirely because of some whacked out nutjobs’ views of fetal ensoulment.

Heck, it’s not even a modern development. The goddamned Bible viewed birth as the moment a person began and we only began pretending otherwise when the evangelical Christians were looking for an excuse to join the Republican Party over fears of communism.

The fact that we treat such a no-duh AS controversial shows that we as a nation are fundamentally uncomfortable with the notion that women are full human beings free to their own lives and their own choices. The day we solve that problem is the day you and the rest of you ignorant hateful scumbags go the way of KKK revivalists and neo-nazis.

And I for one will shed not a single tear on that day.

The Democratic party’s support for partial-birth abortion is not worthy of skepticism.

Partial-birth?

Oh, you mean, the medically necessary late-term procedure only ever used in cases of “desired pregnancies” when the mother’s life is in danger. Often because of a septic pregnancy caused by little things like the fetus being dead already or little things like the organs growing on the outside.

Yes, surely we should inspect the countertops of all these terrified women who are scared that the corpse rotting inside of them might rob their born children of their mother until we can be reasonably sure they can’t just shoot said corpse out of their body Thai Sex Show style.

Also?

Real women wanting not to die because some idiots delay medical surgical intervention in one of the most clear-cut of cases for it? Deserving of infinite skepticism to ensure it’s not just a loose slut who decided 8 months in that a new baby just wouldn’t be as good an accessory to the purse as a chihuahua.

Religious zealots with a demonstrated negative understanding of reproductive biology? Grave and solemn experts whose “reasonable concerns” must be immediately addressed repeatedly by the nation regardless of current legal and medical standards.

And the worst part of it is that they still earn this undeserving regard simply because they kill anyone who questions it and rant about God and BABIEZ a lot.

Well, if that’s the rules we’re all playing by? I think Mona and the rest of the pro-rape lobby should be strapped to a rocket ship and fired into the sun. GOD STAR BABY DEEP PERSONAL CONCERN!

The views of the president of the United States — opposing a law providing that a baby accidentally born alive after a botched abortion be protected from the abortionist’s knife — is not shocking.

This statement is so fractally wrong, I’m amazed that publishing it didn’t cause the words to leap from the screen and attempt to strangle Mona in order to put her out of her misery.

And again, ahistorical, abiological, afactual nonsense happily paraded around the forced birther movement because fuck reality when you need some bullshit fictional oppression to get angry enough to kill over.

No Democrat has ever, so far as I know, been challenged by a member of the mainstream press to distance himself from the president’s extreme abortion position.

Akin is guilty of having his facts wrong. Many of his critics are guilty of worse.

So let me get this straight, because I really don’t want to misrepresent you like so much of the liberal media has before.

You admit that you and your fellow travelers are so intellectually challenged that even the grueling and unpleasant task of googling intro biology concepts is beyond your feeble grasp.

But you still want universal and SOLE control over the biological, medical, and legal rights of pregnant and heterosexually active women everywhere. Even those who unlike you, actually bothered to stay awake in their middle school bio classes.

Additionally, it is those of us who should be ashamed of ourselves and our “extreme beliefs” because we do foolish things like “pay attention to reality” and “adhere to medical science” and actually believe that the real world is the one we should look to to dictate public policy.

And this is specifically because you are capable of believing a toxic soup of inaccurate, ignorant, and just plain delusional things despite living in an age with unprecedented access to information, largely because you dwell in a subculture that is at war with the very concepts of biology and female personhood.

And this is somehow our fault for not dragging you over the table and cluebatting your head until it stops producing obvious lies.

Have I got all that right?

I do?

Well, I guess I’ll get right on that after I’m done weeping into a tall glass of scotch over how we live in a world where these in-bred evolutionary rejects are given anything other than contempt and a laugh-track stuck on repeat.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Losing to morons like this is exactly why Climate Scientists tend to be heavy drinkers. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*Except for that minority of cases where it ends up intersex or XYY syndrome or Triple X syndrome or all the other wacky things that can happen in the hodge-podge chaos that is meiosis. But still, point stands.

 

Comments: 207

 
 
 

Sort the comments by best-rated and it seems Mona did not do well.

 
 

i don’t think ‘stupid’ begins to cover it…even though you used all caps…

 
 

Sort the comments by best-rated and it seems Mona did not do well.

yeah, she pretty much takes a beatdown over there…tis gratifying…

 
 

also, i am glad to have been the one to bring mona’s shiny new turd to y’all’s attention…i’m a giver like that…

 
 

and you want to know what i like best? i actually found out there was a new post before posting by myself in the previous post for like an hour…new post comments feel good!

 
 

I’m happy for you, bbkf.

Nothing like that new post smell…it’s like mimeograph paper.
~

 
 

Nothing like that new post smell…it’s like mimeograph paper.

eh…nothing like new post smell AND mimeograph…who doesn’t miss that purple ink? on the same note, back in the day, my brother used to build things out of used computer cards…he had quite a skyscraper and motorcycle collection…oh, where has time and technology taken us?

 
 

bbkf-

For a given value of beatdown, yeah. The tigers may be ripping into the flesh of one of their own, but most of it is couched in “well, you see, Mona may be ignorant but so are pro-choicers” or “the only reason I’m countering Mona’s ignorance is because she’s revealing that us forced-birthers are ignorant assholes and that might hurt the long con”.

And there is a sadly demonstrative number of “highly rated” comments who are like “well, you’re an idiot, but you’re right, it really does make sense and I think I read a scientific article once that supports you”.

The worst being someone claiming to be a reproductive endocrinologist who comes up with some obvious lies and bullshit about how female bodies work and why Todd Akin was absolutely right, including about the dog-whistle bit about rape victims being liars.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

First!

 
 

Is it such an outlandish idea? I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that pregnancies are less likely in cases of rape, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

Why, yes, yes it IS an outlandish idea. Because–and this is the tricky part–not having any evidence to support an idea is what makes it outlandish! For example:

“There’s no evidence that the sun goes around the the earth, but it *looks* like it does to me. Is that such an outlandish idea?”

See how that works?

And how does she put these two paragraphs together and not see the connection?
Kevin Williamson notes in the current National Review that high-status men have more male children than ordinary men. Is it “stupid” to believe that this phenomenon is real?

favoring abortion for any (including sex selection) reason

Hm…
1) High status men have more male children than ordinary men.
2) High status wives have money, can travel at will for long periods of time, have access to discreet medical professionals all over the world, and tend to get “cosmetic surgery” often.
3) Some people get abortions to select the sex of their offspring.

Clearly, high status men have more male children because they are just so much more manly than “ordinary” men. There can be no other possible explanation.

(Of course they could never imagine that a woman’s reproductive system might have some biochemical influence on the sperm, they would have to acknowledge that there’s something other other than white noise in there. And we all know where that leads: Play-Dough and Bacon.)

I’m sorry to make your biologist brain explode, but I thought you’d be interested in this:
http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2012/08/when-does-pregnancy-begin-you-decide-by.html

It’s official: we’re all pregnant now.

 
 

“A 1998 study found that fans backing the winning side in a college basketball game and a World Cup soccer match saw their testosterone levels rise”

Really? Mona, I suppose you personally fact-checked those scientifically-monitored tumescence measurements?

 
 

Smells like a brewing meme!

The recipe needs moar hops.

 
 

Conservatives are biologically incapable of being coherent about social issues.The conservative brain has a way of shutting that whole thing down.

 
 

It’s official: we’re all pregnant now.

Even doods!?! Crap! I’m only 43, I’m not ready for kids!

 
 

This is true even for people watching sports matches. A 1998 study found that fans backing the winning side in a college basketball game and a World Cup soccer match saw their testosterone levels rise; fans rooting for the losing teams in both games saw their own T levels fall.”

more proof that alcohol should not be served at nascar…

Cerberus said,

August 27, 2012 at 21:51

true…but i still enjoy the odd comment regarding mona’s idiocy…and i haven’t gone back to look at the comments since last week…i also tend to ignore the rest of the comments because 1)they depress me 2)i KNOW these people are ignorant misogynistic theocrats and nuttin’s gonna change them…save their exclusion from the rapture…and even then, they would probably blame themselves for not making the cut…nope, people that delusional, i can’t even waste my time with…

 
 

favoring abortion for any (including sex selection) reason

Hm…
1) High status men have more male children than ordinary men.
2) High status wives have money, can travel at will for long periods of time, have access to discreet medical professionals all over the world, and tend to get “cosmetic surgery” often.
3) Some people get abortions to select the sex of their offspring.

Clearly, high status men have more male children because they are just so much more manly than “ordinary” men. There can be no other possible explanation.

thank you for doing the brain work on this for me…i kept trying to formulate a connection, but lacked high status male brain cells to accomplish…

 
 

Sorry, Oregon Beer Snob, if you “reason” like Crazy-Eyes Mona, then you go back to the Bible where it says right in that Genesis section, which is about the “birth” of everything that Eve, the Ur-Woman was formed from a rib taken from Adam, the Ur-Man. So, if she had eggs and if she came from him, then he must have had eggs too. So, post hoc ergo propter hoc, everybody is pregnant all the time. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 
 

The bad news: Under Rmoney, abortion would be illegal.

The good news: Under Rmoney, it will be legal to become retroactively unpregnant.

 
 

Mona definitely needs to do a little biology reading all right. The bit about stress and fertility is partly related to the female’s (not just human beings either) evolutionary coping mechanism for dealing with environmental stress, especially extreme drought and famine. In order to conserve energy, the female may temporarily stop being fertile. But once environmental conditions improve, she may then become fertile once again. There is absolutely no evidence that this temporary infertility instantly comes on during a violent attack. That’s just forced birther garbage.

 
 

Only about 1 percent of women undergoing abortions report that they were raped, according to the Alan Guttmacher Institute. One percent is not zero.

Note that this is not saying that 1% of rapes lead to pregnancy, but 1% of terminated pregnancies result from rape. Or to put it another way, of male / female sexual encounters within America, at least 99% are consensual. TAKE THAT RAPE CULTURE.

Or to put it another nother way, the “moderate” policy of Mitt Romney of banning abortions while leaving a rape exemption as a MAJOR CONCESSION TO THE LADEEZ would ban 99% of abortions.

Akin has since acknowledged that he was wrong
He saw no reason, however, why changing the facts he used to justify his beliefs should also require him to reconsider his beliefs.

George Allen, who denounced Akin, is nonetheless being flayed
A re-enactment of Titian’s “Flaying of Marsyas”? Can has CSpan broadcast plz?

 
 

Pregnancies for all!

Thus, if any woman fails to implant, then she must be willingly committing an abortion by inducing artificial stress.

But hold onto your horses, forced birthers, let’s be frank here. Sperm is a magical fluid that determines everything. Having manlier sperm produces manlier children and sperm can impregnate a woman 2 weeks before she even thinks about fucking. Obviously sperm is fucking everything. Thus every time a sperm cell isn’t puncturing an egg cell, you’re committing abortion. So, masturbation? Genocide. Even cumming inside a woman’s vagina during ovulation? Still genocide. Do you know how many sperm cells are left to rot in there?

Obviously men must have their penii and balls frozen, removed and stored in IVF facilities in order to ensure none of these miracle sperm babies come to harm.

It’s only fair.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Flaying also reduces the rate of conception. You’d be amazed how sensitive the penis gets when it’s been circumcised all the way to the soles of the feet.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Cerberus, is there a newsletter or–?

 
 

3) Some people get abortions to select the sex of their offspring.

This may be so, but I insist that the low percentage of female infants reported in China during their one-child-family episode is a reflection of high testosterone levels, a happy reaction no doubt to the market economy they were adopting.

Kevin Williamson notes in the current National Review that high-status men have more male children than ordinary men.
Kevin Williamson also reckons that liberals who mistook statements in his column for facts were unable to recognise satire, but Mona evidently suffers from the same inability.

 
 

Flaying also reduces the rate of conception.
I guess the stress must reduce sperm motility or something. The male body is a mystery to science.

 
 

Smut-

I know that right-wingers like to retreat to the “it was satire” argument when their insane or bigoted beliefs get enough blow-back, but once again I’m forced to ask:

“If so, what was it satirizing?”

See, A Modest Proposal was provocative but was satiring something real, specifically the way Irish lives were being thrown away in service to literal British appetites.

What was “testosterone babies” supposed to be satirizing?

I mean, from a left wing writer, it could comment on the masculinity fetishes of the right wing or the tendency to attack democrats as feminine or even a commentary on the low scientific standards of MRAs and forced birthers.

But from the right wing?

No, Kevin. That’s not satire. That’s just plain old run-of-the-mill stupid.

 
 

yowzahootie! mona has 167 comments on this? wow…last i checked it was 18…we all knew i was going to go swamp diving didn’t we? since it’s mostly the usual crapfest over there and cerbs has pointed out that a majority of them are willing to overlook akin’s jackassery because obummer=bad!, here’s the pick of the litter…so to speak:

I live in MO. Akin took a solid WIN for Republicans and turned it into a loss of EPIC proportion. Then he complains the funds being withdrawn are enabling McCaskill. If that isn’t stupid then I don’t know what that term means. Many conservatives here are taking up a collection to fly Dick Cheney in for a weekend of hunting with Akin. Nothing is in season, but that’s not the point. We’re simply relying on Cheney’s lack of firearm safety control.

 
 

But hold onto your horses, forced birthers, let’s be frank here. Sperm is a magical fluid that determines everything. Having manlier sperm produces manlier children and sperm can impregnate a woman 2 weeks before she even thinks about fucking. Obviously sperm is fucking everything.

We’ve got sperm, sperm, eggs and sperm. Sperm, POOP, sperm and sperm. Sperm, sperm, sperm…..

 
 

Relevant.

whoa…

yes, i’m sure his daughter made her ‘choice’ all on her own…how convenient that it happened to also be his choice…

 
 

We’ve got sperm, sperm, eggs and sperm. Sperm, POOP, sperm and sperm. Sperm, sperm, sperm…..

oy don’t like sperm!

 
 

The sperm, sperm, sperm, baked beans -n- sperm doesn’t have much sperm in it.

 
 

Every sperm is sacred….

 
 

With sperm, the timing is everything.

 
 

Kevin Williamson notes in the current National Review that high-status men have more male children than ordinary men.

Oddly enough, fighter pilots tend to have mostly female children.

 
 

Oddly enough, fighter pilots tend to have mostly female children.

I always thought Top Gun was a chick flick.

 
 

There was once a scientific monkey or ape experiment that “proved” that in the chest beating pageants to determine which becomes the alpha-male the winner had the most testosterone. So for years it was assumed that male leaders had more testosterone than their subordinates.

Later, another team conducted the experiment but also measured levels before the contest. It was shown that which one won was not determined by which had the most testosterone when the match begun. Their conclusion was that the winner was the one to which the group backed down in the face of their intimidating displays and the testosterone levels of those apes were raised by the response of the group, so that in the end the alpha-male had higher levels.

The lesson according to Wiley? Do not back down in the face of bullshit chest beating displays.

 
 

The alpha-male among the computer nerds was proven to have more beta testosterone.

 
 

no reason throughout the nine months of pregnancy

I would support aborting that 9-month strawfetus, but I have a reason. Interestingly enough, the Guttmacher Institute has also reported on the relative age of fetuses aborted, but I see she neglected to mention that only 1% of abortions occur after the 20th week of pregnancy…

Kevin Williamson notes in the current National Review that high-status men have more male children than ordinary men. Is it “stupid” to believe that this phenomenon is real?

Testosterone levels vary widely among men and are known to change in response to events.

Apparently high testosterone levels(and excess male births) are also linked to toxoplasmosis. Maybe high status men are more likely to have parasites and not just be parasites? linky

 
 

but I see she neglected to mention that only 1% of abortions occur after the 20th week of pregnancy…

big surprise…you should know by now that if you are pro-choice, or even not rabidly pro-life, it means you spend your days hoping that as many abortions on demand happen as possible…heck, i don’t think we even have to draw the line at ‘on demand!’ pro-choicers spend their days just hoping that all babies spontaneously abort…

these people give me a headache…

 
 

It just seemed funny to me that in the case of abortions for rape 1% is so vanishingly small that we can pretty much ignore it as a reason for supporting choice, while in the case of 1% of abortions occurring after 20 weeks is so huge it tarnishes all pro-choicers and means anti-choicers win forever AMEN.

 
 

Via TBogg, Jay Nordlinger complains about the strictures of political soundness:

Come to think of it, Obama was cruelly shortchanged in the throwing-arm department. Am I allowed to say that?

I think he’s trying to say that he’s not allowed to call Obama “Spear-chucker”.

 
 

tigris-

What makes it even “better” is that said 1% of abortions are often the least controversial and most obviously necessitated of abortions. The types of abortions that aren’t just removing a parasite because it wasn’t consented to, but the types that take out already decomposing flesh so it doesn’t put the mother into septic shock.

So, rewriting that even further, 1% is so vanishingly small in regards to abortions caused by those admit to being raped that they might as well suffer with the other sluts, but the 1% of abortions that are late-term abortions, saving the lives of women who fully intended to give birth to live-children if something went wrong, is proof that all abortion-seekers are demonic sluts killing viable breathing, walking, talking children with a Saw style death trap.

But “luckily” for them, having any relationship whatsoever to reality doesn’t really matter as long as you can blather about how it’s your “deeply held belief” that all sluts everywhere suffer for what you imagine is happening to fetuses that you imagine are full grown people wholly separated from what you imagine is their non-human incubator.

 
 

It just seemed funny to me that in the case of abortions for rape 1% is so vanishingly small that we can pretty much ignore it as a reason for supporting choice, while in the case of 1% of abortions occurring after 20 weeks is so huge it tarnishes all pro-choicers and means anti-choicers win forever AMEN.

well, obviously, it’s because these wimmens are refusing to birth babies? i mean, if a measly 1% of pregnancies occur because of rape, well, what the hell ladies? really? you can’t suck it up and take one for the team and JUST HAVE THAT BABY? and on the other hand, that 1% of later term abortions means that that is just 1% moar babies bitchez ain’t birthing, so again, just suck it up and take one for the team and JUST HAVE THAT BABY!

see?

 
 

Boing Boing had some good posts from someone who had an abortion. Worth putting in front of the faces of people who spout nonsense.

http://boingboing.net/tag/abortion

 
 

Boing Boing had some good posts from someone who had an abortion. Worth putting in front of the faces of people who spout nonsense.

oh, hey…i remember reading that…heartbreaking, personal and complex…somehow, i don’t think the pro-lifers would understand at all…

 
 

…it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

And there is. There, in eleven little worlds, is everything that’s wrong with pop science and our understanding, as a people, of the natural world.

The standard for understanding science is down to plausibility. If a layman can conceive of a reason why a certain theory is valid or invalid, that’s good enough. Facts don’t factor in, it’s all logic. Gut instinct.

This is by no means a solely political issue, but let’s discuss the juicy partisan bits, hmm? This train of thought is what leads people to claim that snowfall logically proves that AGW doesn’t exist. It leads people to claim that their own personal social experiences logically prove that men and women – or people of different races – are wired differently. It leads people to claim that the fact that they’ve never witnessed the emergence of a new species logically proves that evolution is false. It leads people to claim that we don’t need to research renewable energies because logically we’ll either keep finding more oil or break the laws of physics and develop free energy. It leads people to claim that their own laziness logically proves that poor people are all lazy.

And that’s just the half of it. I’ve lost track of the number of positively unreal statements that I’ve heard from people with an at best dim view of the topic at hand. Genetics, astronomy, psychology, computer science – not to mention history, religion and the law. All made because the statement just seems plausible.

Great, now I’m angry. I don’t know why social conservatives like being mad so much.

 
 

Damn it right wing! Stop producing fail faster than I can mock it!

It really is like the chocolate factory episode of I Love Lucy these days, except instead of nougat, or vanilla creme, or cherries in syrup, these chocolates are filled with bullshit and hate.

 
 

We’ve got sperm, sperm, eggs and sperm. Sperm, POOP, sperm and sperm. Sperm, sperm, sperm…..

Sounds like an accounting of the stains on a frat house sofa.

(And yes, the Viking chant was rising there at the end for me, too…)

 
 

…it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

And there is. There, in eleven little worlds, is everything that’s wrong with pop science and our understanding, as a people, of the natural world.

Also explains why people put fake Jefferson/Lincoln/Franklin quotes on their protest signs.

 
 

Well, that just brings up Asimov again, dunnit? Asimov’s Law: people are stupid.

 
 

And bravo for Texas! Outlaw critical thinking! Now there’s a way to ensure the future greatness of your state and country! Kill more cats while you’re at it, wouldja?

 
 

First again!

 
 

“If so, what was it satirizing?”

Journalism. Specifically, that odd liberal tic of constructing an argument around facts. Hilaaaarious!

 
 

these chocolates are filled with bullshit and hate.

I think I prefer Crunchy Frog.

 
 

Leader of Army Plot to Assassinate Obama Apparently Attended the 2008 Republican Convention as a Page

You see, the military hates Obama so much they want him dead. This is great news for McCain.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Pupienus, I think if you scroll up you will find that I am first.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I think I prefer Crunchy Frog.

The French do have better taste.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Pupienus, I think if you scroll up

I declare! I thought you were a gentleman!
/vapors

you will find that I am first.

You are and shall forever be first among men.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

The French do have better taste.

Forgive me, zrm, if I have encroached upon your territory, stepped on your toes, failed to give a reach around, or otherwise offended you.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Am I dancing nakedly through through the thread? teehee I’m dancing! teehee

 
 

If R. Daneel Olivaw was around and had already formulated the zeroeth law, he’d be subtly arranging the humiliation and ‘hate outing’ of the Republican Par…

OH. MY. GOD!!!

 
 

(subtly ignoring pup’s nakedness… my own nakedness, too)

 
 

The question is: when will masturbation be seen as a form of abortion that must be banned?

 
 

That must only be male masturbation. Since female masturbation does not waste any of the special sekrit jooces.

 
 

You aren’t thinking like a Republican. Female masturbation impedes the mental development of future babies and causes cancer. I’ve looked it up and there’s no evidence, so it’s probably true.

Male masturbation is a sacrament.

 
 

Relevant.

Since at least the mid-1970s, mere ownership of the National Review was not enough to give Buckley clout (after Burnham’s death, it became an untended garden of weeds, and Buckley himself seemed to lose interest in it, if for no other reason than that, as Hugh Kenner, a close friend and briefly one of his editors, once said, “National Review has some of the dumbest readers in the world”).

My bolding.

 
 

The question is: when will masturbation be seen as a form of abortion that must be banned?

I would guess when there is a way to differentiate between male masturbation (manly men) and female masturbation (those sluts).

 
 

The question is: when will masturbation be seen as a form of abortion that must be banned?

Alternate response: perhaps you need to re-read “A Handmaid’s Tale”.

 
 

Actually, since I am into re-reading prophetic books, perhaps I will take on Atwood’s book right after I finish Fear and Loathing on the Campaign trail…

Fear and Loathing in the 21st Century….

 
 

I’ve looked it up and there’s no evidence, so it’s probably true.

Pedestrian succinctly sums up the Republican zeitgeist, circa 2012. well done, friend.

 
 

…It’s official: we’re all pregnant now…
I was going to say something but I figured it might be impolite until we are all showing. Twins, I think.

 
 

…re-read “A Handmaid’s Tale”…
Actually, you want to start with the prequel, Two Weeks Before A Handmaid’s Tale. In the context of the series, A Handmaiden’s Tale is a liberal utopian fantasy that’s quickly smashed in the more realistic sequels, The 300 (Handmaidens of Arizona) and Handmaiden Games.

 
 

I find it hard to believe that someone could claim to have been a fan of Ry Cooder for 40 years without having any idea what Cooder’s political beliefs are.

http://www.amazon.com/Election-Special-Ry-Cooder/product-reviews/B007U4DBTQ/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_btm?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending

 
 

well done, friend.

why, thank you!

 
 

Go listen to Ted Nuggent instead and band your heads against the wall till it bleeds

ted nuggent indeed…

 
 

I find it hard to believe that someone could claim to have been a fan of Ry Cooder for 40 years without having any idea what Cooder’s political beliefs are.

does seem like a slim chance, doesn’t it…

 
 

Mitt Romney says abortion is settled law! He can’t even understand why those silly Democrats keep bringing up the issue every four years.

Anyway, you should make sure that all wingnuts you happen to run into are made aware that Romney supports Roe v Wade.

 
 

Oops, LINK. The last bit of the clip is the key part.

 
 

I don’t have time to read all of this, so pardon if I repeat something already said. Male ducks in fact commit rape. There is an interesting post at Not Exactly Rocket Science (http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/22/ballistic-penises-and-corkscrew-vaginas-the-sexual-battles/) that explains it all, with pictures.

 
 

abortion is settled law!

Good use of a centrifuge, there.

 
 

Here … lemme fix something for ya:

we only began pretending otherwise when the evangelical Christians were looking for an excuse to join the Republican Party over fears of communism Black people, since the parties switched sides on civil rights.

There. Fixx0red

 
 

In re masturbation: actually, I would expect that the right would be a-ok with female masturbation as they could pretend it doesn’t exist (“what? women want sexual pleasure too?”) — and if they have to admit women do like to get off sometimes, I am sure your garden variety GOoPer would rather his partner do it while he’s away drinking with his buddies (if you know what I mean and I think you do) than for him to have to get close enough to teh vagina to actually, for example, perform cunnilingus.

OTOH, male masturbation is “wasting seed” whose sole function is to impregnate women.

 
 

Oops. It’s time to fix the intertubez yet again:

The lesson according to Wiley? DIf you want to have male pattern baldness, do not back down in the face of bullshit chest beating displays.

 
 

A, but DAS you’re thinking too scientifically for a regressive. The determining factor is who has the right to do whatever he wants and who is supposed to submit herself to the will of the other. You see, it’s tolerable to admit that men masturbate because men are the alpha entities of the race, created by God in His image, and therefore master of all his ken. Women, however, were created from the man’s spare ribs parts, and are therefore man’s property and are expected to keep themselves pure, chaste, and unfulfilled in order to satisfy the man’s sexual and egotistical needs.

Because, you see, if a woman masturbates, she might figure out that a vibrator or a dildo or a showerhead is better than her husband, and then the next thing you know she’s getting ideas in her head that he’s not all that great at other things.

Eventually, this leads to things like interracial relations, lesbian marriage, abortion, and global warming… none of which are allowable.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

The lesson according to Wiley? DIf you want to have male pattern baldness, do not back down in the face of bullshit chest beating displays.

That’s bullshit. I always back down, and I’m still bald as a very bald thing.

 
 

Romney, however, told Pelley that the issue amounts to a distraction.

yes, mitt…thank you…reproductive rights *are* just a distraction…bringing babies into the world or not isn’t all that important…

“The Democrats try and make this a political issue every four years, but this is a matter in the courts.

what? oh, yes…the democrats are making it a perennial political issue because…

Last week, the party added language to the platform calling for a constitutional amendment banning abortion, with no mention of making exceptions for victims of rape or incest, or to save the life of the mother.

It’s been settled for some time in the courts.”

yes…yes it has…so please, you and your goopers kindly stfu…thanks!

 
 

abortion is settled law!

Good use of a centrifuge, there.

but the goopers keep wanting to use a trebuchet…

 
 

M. Bouffant: Thanks for that link! I spent time I really shouldn’t have this morning reading every word of that review. It’s a perfect takedown of Buckley, that loathsome, vastly overrated reactionary wretch. To me he’s always been, to borrow someone else’s line about Newt Gingrich, “a dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy sounds like.”

 
 

I would expect that the right would be a-ok with female masturbation as they could pretend it doesn’t exist (“what? women want sexual pleasure too?”)

Back when I was still posting on ManBoobz, there was a regular troll who believed that women’s sexuality was entirely bound up in sexually exciting men.

A woman walking down the street in a sexy outfit, turning all the men around her on, was having (a female equivalent of) an orgasm. Similarly, he considered a woman getting a man excited without then giving him release was the male equivalent to rape.

When someone asked him about female masturbation, he sarcastically said “Haha! Right, masturbation is a woman’s sexuality!”

 
 

The fact is, this fake storm Isaac is being used to surrender authority to FEMA and Obama’s army of socilests. Even the Convention is not safe, this is an excuse to destroy freedom and the free market.

 
 

The fact is, this fake storm Isaac is being used to surrender authority to FEMA and Obama’s army of socilests

The fact is, it’s just supply side economics. The RNC requires an extremely large supply of hot air, ill wind and above all spin. Isaac is simply supplying these things.

 
 

The fact is, this fake storm Isaac is being used to surrender authority to FEMA and Obama’s army of socilests. Even the Convention is not safe, this is an excuse to destroy freedom and the free market.

be that as it may, gary, but this just cracks me up…

 
 

Interesting read…

Shorter: Rmoney = Nixon (as it pertains to campaign strategy)

Marginally apt comparison, though it doesn’t address the current economy and the fact that Humphery wasn’t an incumbent Republican like Obama…

 
 

The Democrats try and make this a political issue every four years, but this is a matter in the courts.

IOW, “why do you keep hitting yourself” as said by a bully who has grabbed your hand and is hitting you with it.

 
 

The Democrats try and make this a political issue every four years, but this is a matter in the courts.

The Republicans would never stoop to politicizing abortion by making statements against settled law in a political platform. Nor to calling court decisions consistent with precedent “judicial activism” if the justices don’t defer to the TOTALLY NOT POLITICIZING ABORTION political platform.

 
 

@paperbagmarlys: “I was going to say something but I figured it might be impolite until we are all showing. Twins, I think.”

Well, I’m doing my bit. I’ve been in my last trimester (with, I think, triplets) for over ten years now. It’s been difficult, but being a man, I’ve borne up nobly and stoically, with barely a word of complaint. Unlike my wife, who complained constantly the two times she had to deal with it for just a couple months.

@bughunter:”Eventually, this leads to things like..”

You forgot dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria!

 
 

Well, imagine if your political platform consisted of nothing but deregulation, propping up the rich, balancing your overdrawn checkbook from education and social programs, wars and more wars, and getting rid of that pesky middle class that has the temerity to ask for things like a living wage and some retirement security. You’d fabricate a bunch of social evils (abortion, birth control, gay marriage, etc…) to convince bottom of the curve to stab themselves in the eye with a rusty fork. It’s all they can do.

 
 

Because, you see, if a woman masturbates, she might figure out that a vibrator or a dildo or a showerhead is better than her husband, and then the next thing you know she’s getting ideas in her head that he’s not all that great at other things.

I have actually heard exactly this argument made in right-wing fundie circles. With charts!

Shorter: Rmoney = Nixon

I was just going to make the exact same point, but with regards to this:

Fact checkers come to this with their own sets of thoughts and beliefs, and we’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact checkers

Romney would no doubt be more conservative than Nixon because of the current political landscape, but his “do anything to win” attitude is classic Dick. Judging from the way that he has skirted and tortured the law in regards to his finances, I can’t imagine what he and his gang would do with the keys to the White House.

W reminded me of Reagan with his faux folksiness and his dumb puppet brand of ideological purity. Romney is more clever, but pure sleaze.

 
 

Shorter: Rmoney = Nixon (as it pertains to campaign strategy)

Marginally apt comparison, though it doesn’t address the current economy and the fact that Humphery wasn’t an incumbent Republican like Obama…

Oh, I think it’s completely apt. Romney has more business success and self-confidence than Nixon did, but at bottom they were/are both toxic little shits who think their complete lack of core beliefs justifies them in lying out their asses, continually, about everyone and everything.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

“I’ve looked it up and there’s no evidence, so it’s probably true” might possibly qualify as a law of conservative opinion, with just a little rephrasing.

Pedestrian’s Law. Charles Bronson to star in the film version.

 
 

I can’t imagine what he and his gang would do with the keys to the White House

I think he’s made it pretty clear what he intends to do. Drill all the things, remove all the regulations, shift even more of the tax burden to the middle class and then argue that deficits don’t matter anymore now that the conservatives are back in power.

 
 

but at bottom they were/are both toxic little shits who think their complete lack of core beliefs justifies them in lying out their asses, continually, about everyone and everything.

No doubt about that, though Romney is even more of a nihilistic shitbag than Nixon was. I really do believe that. I think he has a sort of attitude of Manifest Destiny about his Corporate Raider beliefs.

 
 

Those lyrics — “Reachin’ out, touchin’ me, touchin’ you” — could be construed as inappropriate after a jury convicted former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky on 45 counts of child-sex abuse.

Yes, to a total moron, they could be construed as inappropriate. But we’re talking about Penn State fans here, so ditching the song was probably the right call.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 
 

I think he has a sort of attitude of Manifest Destiny about his Corporate Raider beliefs.

yes…

 
 

I think he’s made it pretty clear what he intends to do.

Yes, but I mean what he will do when he discovers that being president isn’t like owning your own company and he can’t immediately get everything that he wants. Starting new wars and declaring domestic enemies have become a part of the standard playbook for Republicans, but one wonders what new tricks he would think of.

I’m guessing a shadow government of loyal followers who bypass the normal levers of power. Where the Bush administration was very image conscious and obsessed over achieving the right propaganda effect, Romney doesn’t seem to know or care about how to make himself liked, and instead opts for lying, obfuscation, and brute force.

 
 

BoBo tries teh funneh and actually made me chuckle twice.

But like a bad SNL skit (i.e., most of them) it takes a good idea and wears it so thin you can see through it.

 
 

Has Michelle griMalkin explained away the domestic terrorist GOP guys yet? You know, the ones planning to assassinate Obama.

 
 

Yeah, that was probably a day late. I missed it yesterday, but hat tip to Zandar, anyway, who makes a great point… and is actually funnier than Brooks to boot:

Now, when David Effing Brooks is freely writing biting snark about you as being a woefully square, out-of-touch, bloodless milquetoast with all the personality of a Christopher Cross album played backwards at a funeral directors’ convention in Boise, you have lost the ballgame. I’m not sure if Bobo here got into Maureen Dowd’s Monday box of Franzia or what, but if this is Brooks freely taking pot shots at Mittens (which is a bit like the chess club making fun of the Mathletes, other than the fact I respect chess players and Mathletes and both are far more useful to society than either of these two douchebuckets) then Romney is toast.

Lawlz.

 
 

Speaking of Malkins…

 
 

Has Michelle griMalkin explained away the domestic terrorist GOP guys yet? You know, the ones planning to assassinate Obama.

I’ve got my money on the old “false flag operation” ploy. After all, only Obama could be responsible for bad things happening.

 
 

if karl rove’s machinations pay off in november and the goops gain control of everything, then he will get everything he wants…

heh…just think of the teabag/independent/libertarian poutrage then!

 
 

I’m guessing a shadow government of loyal followers who bypass the normal levers of power. Where the Bush administration was very image conscious and obsessed over achieving the right propaganda effect, Romney doesn’t seem to know or care about how to make himself liked, and instead opts for lying, obfuscation, and brute force.

They were image conscious to a point, but Bush had that same cabal on neocon fascists–Cheney, Abrams, Wolfowitz, Bolton, Rumsfeld, Perle…they didn’t make a ton of effort to cover up their existence or influence on policy. They didn’t really try to hide the fact that an Iraq invasion was a foregone conclusion prior to 9/11. They also had a bunch of stooges paid by newspaper subscribers (Kristol, Miller, Novak) to report their propaganda under the guise of news. Outing Valerie Plame was pretty brutish force.

(I’m not trying to be argumentative–this is more like out loud observation–the main point is that we’ve been here before, and I think we know exactly what to expect from Rmoney. He’ll be just like Bush Jr., only with the brains to lead the mob rather than letting a total Dick run it.)

 
 

From Pup’s link upthread aways:

An anti-gay activist and donor to California’s Proposition 8, 52-year-old Hesse was a teacher at the Morongo Unified School District who was recently teaching first grade at the Friendly Hills Elementary School.

See, he was just being “friendly” — it’s in his school’s name! Sheesh.

 
 

Shorter: Rmoney = Nixon (as it pertains to governing strategy)

If a white president does it, then it is not illegal.

 
 

Did anyone catch the Rmoney spokescritter on NPR this morning?

Inskeep: They called it pants on fire.
Rguy: well it IS a change! We have letters from nine governors who don’t want the waiver!
Inskeep: But the change is to allow them to change, it’s not forcing anyone.
[more obviously caught in a lie dissembling]
Rguy: reasonable people can agree to disagree!

It were amusing to hear.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Has Michelle griMalkin explained away the domestic terrorist GOP guys yet? You know, the ones planning to assassinate Obama.

I’d rather gouge my eyes out with grapefruit spoons that look at that harpy… However, the famously liberal NYT (whose public editor just quit in a snit about “liberalism”) doesn’t seem to have a word to say about it. The Savannah Daily Disappointment, of course, covered it without mentioning that the dude with the funding was a dear little page at the 2008 Republican convention… Fox News is all over the “anarchist” plot. And that’s as far as I chose to delve.

(As a humorous note, the headline in the Daily Disappointment reads “Terror Plot Targets Forsyth.” No, not infamous Forsyth county, but the lovely fountain in Forsyth Park in downtown Savannah. And you wonder why I drink…)

 
 

See, he was just being “friendly” — it’s in his school’s name! Sheesh.

reminds me…daughter has gone to a special ed bibble camp called ‘special touch’…

 
 

“Hands-On Lessons”

“One-on-one Sessions”

“Constant Teacher/Student Contact”

 
 

He’ll be just like Bush Jr., only with the brains to lead the mob rather than letting a total Dick run it.

Fair enough! Also too… as you mentioned, the people around Bush believed that murka’s god-given destiny is to bomb the world into shopping malls and suburbs, and providers of the goods needed for those shopping malls and suburbs.

Mitt and friends seem to think that they were divinely chosen to cut the socialist chains of prometheus and set the plutocrat god-men to reign over a new age of prosperity and harmony. So probably less of them getting fucked over there and more of us getting fucked here – but pretty much the same all over again.

 
 

The military plot to kill the ni-CLANG was obviously a left wing conspiracy perpetrated by far-left radicals angry that his mostest socialest policies evar aren’t taking effect fast enough. Duh.

 
 

“Immersive Learning Experience”

 
 

“Immersive Learning Experience”

gross!

 
 

So probably less of them getting fucked over there and more of us getting fucked here – but pretty much the same all over again.

No reason they won’t fuck more people the whole world ’round. Efficiencies of scale and all that.

 
 

The military plot to kill the ni-CLANG was obviously a left wing conspiracy perpetrated by far-left radicals

i like the theory that since they were going to bomb a dam in wa state and that would restore the salmon, they are obviously sierra club members which means they are really demonrats q.e.derpa!…also, the rnc page thing was a clever ruse…

 
 

I’ve been looking around the regressive side of the blogosphere and cannot find any discussion of the FEAR plot aside from the initial echo when the story broke on Gawker/AP/CNN yesterday… even LGF is ignoring it.

The entire right wing is engaging in an orgy of onanism over the convention in Tampa and is stimulating themselves to the brink of stenogasm over the anonymity of a “mystery speaker” on Thursday’s agenda.

 
 

“mystery speaker” on Thursday’s agenda.

who we betting on? newt, herman or sarah?

 
Marion in Savannah
 

I almost hope that the vaunted mystery speaker is W, emerged from his cave to hug Mittens. Or maybe McCain… Either would be special.

 
 

“mystery speaker”? I can’t understand any of them – my brain turns their gibberish into Peanuts TV-special trumpet-with-wag-wah-mute. Everything they say is a fucking mystery.

 
 

ooooh…it would be awesome if it was colbert…

 
Marion in Savannah
 

bbkf, you’ve just made my day! There really are folks who think he’s conservative, but unfortunately I doubt there are any of them on Mittens’ team. Too bad. He rocked the 2007 Press Club dinner…

 
 

Is Trump already listed as a speaker? There were some earlier hints that he had been meeting with an Obama impersonator and had “big plans” or some such idiocy.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

2006. [snarl] Why do they put the numbers way up there, and make them so hard to type?

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Stay classy NRA and Scott Walker.

It will be a happy day if the FBI ever manages to indict and convict that smirking oaf.

As long as I’m dreaming I’d love to see the NRA busted up for, anything really, but things like arms dealing or influence peddling or violations of campaign finance laws pop to mind as the sort of things they might be likely to be guilty of.

 
 

Blatant blogwhore. Sue me.

Forgot about the NRA thing – asshole prolly has a lifetime membership and a Forum letter about the taste of La Pierre’s asslips.

 
 

Too bad. He rocked the 2007 Press Club dinner…

Yeah, and he hasn’t been invited back since, and likely won’t ever be back. Politicians only like being satirized by equally stupid assholes (ie–“real” journalists and other politicians).

 
 

But… but… drink of the chiiildren!!

JFC. And this is one of the more newsworthy stories on the Yahoo! News front page.

 
 

I have actually heard exactly this argument made in right-wing fundie circles. With charts!

Pie charts?

Yes, but I mean what he will do when he discovers that being president isn’t like owning your own company and he can’t immediately get everything that he wants. Starting new wars and declaring domestic enemies have become a part of the standard playbook for Republicans, but one wonders what new tricks he would think of.

Well, I’ll just point out that his main business experience is using other people’s money to take over, then charging huge fees for “services.” I’ll also point out that while he didn’t raise taxes when he was governor in Mass, he did drastically raise fees. So whatever else he might try to do, I can guaran-damn-tee everything the government charges for will cost you more.

 
 

But… but… drink of the chiiildren!!

I find that a little hard to swallow.

 
 

But… but… drink of the chiiildren!!

yeah, i read that this morning…by this standard, the nascar-hillbilly-redneck crowd would have to run around naked…ewww

 
 

There really are folks who think he’s conservative, but unfortunately I doubt there are any of them on Mittens’ team. Too bad. He rocked the 2007 Press Club dinner…

And made Richard Cohen wring his hands so hard he almost dislocated his wrists. I’d link to it but I don’t want to give that fuzzy-headed limpdick any more hits.

 
 

Also: READ IT & WEEP, YOU FUGLY LIBS.

I notice they had to put Stormy Daniels in there to pad it out.

 
 

Also: READ IT & WEEP, YOU FUGLY LIBS.

I won’t comment on the dudes, since I’m not very good at judging that sort of thing, but there is exactly one attractive woman on that list. I do like that they included the porn star…

 
 

Thanks, bbkf.

Anyone have some extra bleach, a cup or quart or so?

 
 

mystery speaker

I hope it’s Daphne. SHE IS SO HOT.

 
 

Also: READ IT & WEEP, YOU FUGLY LIBS.

i’ll give them kristi noem…but like mama always said, pretty on the outside can’t cover up the ugly on the inside…

 
 

I hope it’s Daphne. SHE IS SO HOT.

i just GOT THIS now!

 
 

i’ll give them kristi noem…but like mama always said, pretty on the outside can’t cover up the ugly on the inside…

She can’t be a real conservative — she uses the ebil socialest “K” spelling of her name! Why does she hate babby Jesus!?!

Spell it the proper English “CHristian” way as God intended you damn hussy! Harumph!

 
 

Oh and also, & too:

too much makeup.

 
 

I hope it’s Daphne. SHE IS SO HOT.

I always liked Velma. Does that make me weird(er)?

 
 

The 15 hottest Republican politicians

For sufficiently broad definitions of ‘hot.’

 
 

Plenty of Republicans roasting in hell.

 
 

Ooo ooo! I noticed that the miners at the RoboMit rally didn’t look happy, but check this out at Raw Story

“Yes, we were in fact told that the Romney event was mandatory and would be without pay, that the hours spent there would need to be made up my non-salaried employees outside of regular working hours, with the only other option being to take a pay cut for the equivalent time,” the employees told Blomquist. “Yes, letters have gone around with lists of names of employees who have not attended or donated to political events.”

 
 

I always liked Velma. Does that make me weird(er)?
as a nerd, imma say no…now on the other hand, if you would have said scooby…

 
 

I always liked Velma. Does that make me weird(er)?

I don’t think so. Everyone has a different type…no shame in confessing what you like or liking something out of the mainstream..

 
 

I don’t think so. Everyone has a different type…no shame in confessing what you like or liking something out of the mainstream..

or in confessing you always like THE HOT CHICKS…

 
 

Oh surely we can find some shame somewhere…

 
 

I always liked Velma. Does that make me weird(er)?

Depends on your opinion of Bree Olson, honestly.

 
 

Oh surely we can find some shame somewhere…

not in this bunch…completely. shameless.

 
 

Depends on your opinion of Bree Olson, honestly.

hmmmyeah…desperate housewives…totally shameless…

 
 

or in confessing you always like THE HOT CHICKS…

I do I do I do!

Oh surely we can find some shame somewhere…

I don’t want to share my shame.

 
 

Depends on your opinion of Bree Olson, honestly.

I have an extremely favorable opinion of her.

 
 

I don’t want to share my shame.

oh, come now…would anyone here mock your shame?

 
 

hmmmyeah…desperate housewives…totally shameless…

Yaaahhh, no. Plug that name into your google box with the safe search ON. She is no housewife and far from desperate.

 
 

Depends on your opinion of Bree Olson, honestly.

Never heard of her.

Wiki says she was in Penthouse and various porn films.

This will require further research. In the interest of, ahem, science.

 
 

oh, come now…would anyone here mock your shame?

I’ve seen how you people treat these intelligent, articulate patriots who are just trying to save our Republic. There is no WAY I’m going to let my Ann Coulter tranny masturbation hot tub mental movies slip out in this joint.

 
 

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT!

MOVE TO STRIKE, YOUR HONOR!

 
 

no shame in confessing what you like or liking something out of the mainstream

Unless it’s fur. Furversion is still scandalous.

or in confessing you always like THE HOT CHICKS…

In fur bikinis? Yes, please!

 
 

The liberal blogger Andrew Sullivan wrote an absorbing piece more than a decade ago about the role of testosterone.

She wrote WHAT!?!!?!????!?

Funny how easily they throw apostates down the memory hole.

And George W. Bush was a liberal because, shut up!

 
 

Thanks for the visual tsam. Now please excuse me while I go bludgeon myself into unconsciousness.

 
 

I always liked Velma. Does that make me weird(er)?

Not at all.

 
 

Depends on your opinion of Bree Olson, honestly.

She makes a damn fine cup of “mountain grown” coffee.

 
 

Depends on your opinion of Bree Olson, honestly.

Never heard of her.

me either…that’s why i free-associated with desperate housewives cuz isn’t one of them a bree?

She is no housewife and far from desperate.

i daresay a career in penthous and porn might imply a bit of desperation of some sort or other…

 
 

Thanks for the visual tsam. Now please excuse me while I go bludgeon myself into unconsciousness.

Anytime, dude. Anytime.

I got lots more if you’d like to hear about them. There was a Hannity and Schussel thing involving a strap on, wet wipes, a thin whore, a midget, and a bunch of 40s of malt liquor.

 
 

Spearhafoc makes the Linda Cardellini (of the Scooby Doo live action film but I preferred her in “Freaks and Geeks”) reference I was going to make.

So instead I’ll link to this C&H comic about Velma instead. So there.

 
 

i daresay a career in penthous and porn might imply a bit of desperation of some sort or other…

According to “some”, a career in adult entertainment is now respectable. I’ll let Missy Elliot say it: “Ladies, do your thing. Just make sure you ahead of the game.”

Word.

 
 

Instead? Instead! Instead. Also.

 
 

Linda Cardellini

She is friggin gorgeous.

 
 

I got lots more if you’d like to hear about them.

STOP. IT. RIGHT. NOW.

 
 

Wiki says she was in Penthouse and various porn films.

Wait, I’m confused, too. I’ve heard or seen just about every porn starlet’s name there is, and Bree Olson made me think of the former KCBS anchorwoman with the elec… ecty… ectrodactyl… bugger it, the crabby hand girl.

[after some Googling…]

Bree Walker. Dammit, that was way too hard.

(Is it wrong to have wanted a hand job from Bree Walker?)

 
 

Arizona GOP Favorite Doesn’t Want Middle Easterners In U.S. ‘Legally Or Illegally’

“If you know Middle Easterners, a lot of them, they look Mexican or they look, you know, like a lot of people in South America, dark skin, dark hair, brown eyes. And they mix. They mix in.

“And those people, their only goal in life is to, to cause harm to the United States. So why do we want them here, either legally or illegally? When they come across the border, besides the trash that they leave behind, the drug smuggling, the killings, the beheadings. I mean, you are seeing stuff. It’s a war out there.”

 
 

(Is it wrong to have wanted a hand job from Bree Walker?)

i would say if you wanted a crabbed hand job, you should go with the ultimate experience…*

*yes, it’s safe for work…

 
 

So why do we want them here, either legally or illegally? When they come across the border, besides the trash that they leave behind,

zomg! muslins are LITTERBUGS?! woodsy haz a sadz…

 
 

Arizona GOP Favorite Doesn’t Want Middle Easterners In U.S. ‘Legally Or Illegally’

That sounds like a rather moderate view coming from an Arizonan these days.

 
 

i would say if you wanted a crabbed hand job, you should go with the ultimate experience…*

Or…

 
 

you should go with the ultimate experience

No, I don’t have a thing for old spice and antiseptic. Pass.

 
 

No, I don’t have a thing for old spice and antiseptic. Pass.

oh, c’mon…the burn means it’s working!

 
 

Waitaminnut. “Gabriela Saucedo Mercer ” is complaining about swarthy types all looking alike, and is reciting standard good ol’ boy hateful stereotypes?

What the fuck?

And there’s somebody taking her seriously?

What the fucking fuck?

I need a drink.

 
 

I knew exactly who Bree Olson was. She’s one of my favorites. Ashlynn Brooke too.

 
 

I’m a Nikki Rhodes/Lexi Belle man myself.

 
 

Waitaminnut. “Gabriela Saucedo Mercer ” is complaining about swarthy types all looking alike, and is reciting standard good ol’ boy hateful stereotypes?

Yeah, it’s truly bizzare — she’s a swarthy immigrant herself, and has become a citizen. But see, she’s the right kind of immigrant. Or something.

The Arizona GOP probably just loves her because she’s the perfect embodiment of the “Fuck you, I’ve got mine” attitude that is the bedrock of the party.

 
 

“Bizzare”? WTF? Evidently I’m the one that needs a drink.

 
 

My spelling embarrassment is rescued by a NEW POST! Thanks Tintin.

 
 

A Mexican immigrant herself who became a U.S. citizen, she said the issue was important because people from places other than Mexico were among those coming across the border illegally.

So wait, since they found a Mexican racist whore, now all the Mexicans EXCEPT THIS CUNT and Marco Rubio who isn’t really Mexican but those guys are all the same so no diff are totally bad border jumping spics and ALL Middle Easterners are bad.

 
 

Waitaminnut. “Gabriela Saucedo Mercer ” is complaining about swarthy types all looking alike, and is reciting standard good ol’ boy hateful stereotypes?

“Yeah, it’s truly bizzare — she’s a swarthy immigrant herself, and has become a citizen. But see, she’s the right kind of immigrant. Or something.

The Arizona GOP probably just loves her because she’s the perfect embodiment of the “Fuck you, I’ve got mine” attitude that is the bedrock of the party.”

– Oregon Beer Snob

They only like her because she plays the “humble servant” who realizes the Republican party is right about EVERYTHING, even hating people like herself. She would be praising GOP even if it sent her to a “funcamp” somewhere deep in the desert.

We need to come to grips with the truth; the GOP is a psychopathic political entity which probably needs to be dismantled before it is too late.

 
 

[…] note, isn’t Mona the Noble Prize winner whose understanding of sexual biology was so low she fell for not only the manly sperm begets manly kids nonsense, but also the women’s bodies can push […]

 
 

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