Aug
22

What War on Women?




Posted at 21:24 by Tintin


ABOVE: Kevin D. Williamson, truly a man’s man!

Shorter Kevin D. Williamson, America’s Shittiest Website™
Like A Boss

  • Romney should be President because his only offspring are male, unlike that fag Obama who has sperm that smells like Chanel No. 5 and can only sire daughters.

256 Comments »

  1. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:25

    Firsties!

  2. N__B said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:26

    That is not waking material. We may have discovered the anti-wank.

  3. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:27

    Hmm. You missed Bozo’s opinion of First! posts. You might want to lock your doors.

  4. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:28

    wev. That’s a much more substantial comment then I’ve made in ages. Well other than FART.

    FART.

  5. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:32

    Christian group: Akin is the victim of Political Gang Rape.

    Well, at least he won’t get pregnant, what with it being legitimate and all.

  6. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:39

    Well, at least he won’t get pregnant, what with it being legitimate and all.

    Nope, he was asking for it with his dressing all slutty and his wide stance.

  7. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:40

    Those mitts were made for walkin’…
    ~

  8. That Girl said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:42

    As soon as I saw that article, I ran right over here because I knew Tintin would be on it. It’s worth a read if you can stomach it. It will be legendary.

  9. Major Kong said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:45

    Um, I seem to recall Commander Codpiece only had daughters.

  10. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:47

    Um, I seem to recall Commander Codpiece only had daughters.

    This just proves their point that he was a secret democrat the whole time.

  11. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:48

    Bain is a financial firm, but Romney wasn’t some Wall Street bank-monkey with a pitch book. He was the guy who fired you.

    This Williamson actually thinks “he was the guy who fired you” is a compliment.

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:48

    The sad thing is that Kevin D. Williamson can never ever hope to live up to the penis power of Mitt Romney.

  13. dlauthor said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:49

    Wow. Mr. Williamson so clearly wishes Mitt could impregnate him with his manly manly man-type manliness (and give him manly manly man-children. It would be sad if it weren’t so unintentionally hilarious. Actually it can be both, can’t it? It can.

  14. Kordo said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:51

    I keep waiting for shame to kick in. They must have SOME, right? There has to come a point where you look at what you’ve written for public consumption and go, Damn, that sounds stupid as fuck, maybe I oughta rein that in a bit.

    Is it just me, or does the Anti-Gay Party seem to run on barely-veiled homo-eroticism? Fer Fuck’s sake, people, if you want to suck a dick, just suck a dick! Leave the rest of us to get about solving actual problems without having to constantly pretend to consider the ramifications of your closet issues…

    Jeebus…

  15. N__B said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:52

    We have one child, a son. Does that make Mrs__B a dude? Because that sounds sort of gay.

  16. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:54

    Hmm, link’s back, no Disqus yet.

  17. That Girl said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:56

    Slate bringing the awesome:

    “You see, Williamson read in a pick-up artist manual that women become helplessly horny in the presence of rich assholes, and since women don’t so much pull the voting lever as hump it enthusiastically, Romney has this election wrapped up. Or he should, as long as he lets out his inner Patrick Bateman.”

  18. DJ said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:56

    Is this the equivalent of Peggy Noonan’s foot fetishization of Ronald Reagan?

  19. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:58

    Starbursts!

  20. bughunter said,

    August 22, 2012 at 21:59

    Here’s some Brain Bleach for you after reading Williamson’s fetish piece.

  21. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:00

    Starbursts!

    That is the shortest right there. Except for the Williamson weenie.

  22. Snorghagen said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:04

    Romney…was the guy who fired you. He was a boss, like his dad, and like his sons probably will be.

    The candidate who most closely resembles an oppressive feudal overlord will definitely get my vote.

  23. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:06

    The candidate who most closely resembles an oppressive feudal overlord will definitely get my vote.

    just wait till they bring back the Droit du seigneur.

  24. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:09

    Shout out to bradrocket (5 years ago) from Atrios.

    http://www.eschatonblog.com/2012/08/uh-guardian.html
    ~

  25. jim the heretical Anti-Cliff Lemming, leaving NRO troll-spoor because he's a lazy old fart that way said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:13

    I suppose Bush with his two daughters can now be fitted for fallopian tubes as well.

    Since the real impact of a president on the economy is marginal, neither Obama nor Romney will be “making it rain” for Americans: that task belongs to the “Job Creators” who’ve been so conspicuously reluctant to live up to their name for many years now.

    Yes, what a pity that America’s women actually look into GOP policies that affect them, rather than being wowed by Romney’s bank-balance. Or that voters might consider someone who (despite being very rich & thus utterly unharmed by paying a little more) does everything they can to avoid paying taxes – & whose economic proposals help his bankbook while hurting theirs to pay off the difference – might not have the best interests of all Americans in mind.

    What could be better for a candidate who was born into wealth than for him to flaunt it in the faces of millions of poor Americans struggling to feed their families & keep a roof over their heads? That Romney is the very antithesis of the classic rags-to-riches biographical trope of Americana – & that Obama is a textbook case of it – will surely never backfire on such a cunning plan!

    Kevin D. Williamson = David Axelrod using a pen-name?
    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  26. Spengler Dampniche said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:15

    FISK!

  27. bughunter said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:16

    Ooh, a mango:

    Nobody hates Jay Leno for owning seven Aston Martins and 17 Lamborghinis — people go to his garage’s website (of course his garage has its own website) to ogle his cars and leave appreciative remarks.

    Umm… yea. Let’s see. Jay Leno voluntarily took a pay cut in order to save the jobs of his employees. And IIRC this is not the first time he’s done that. Nor does Jay propose starving grandmas and turning their single payer health insurance into a gravy train for private insurance companies, one which will never keep up with their actual health care costs.

    Conversely, R-MONEY lays off employees, ships jobs overseas, and sells the dismembered limbs of his acquisitions in order to inflate his profits… and then hides said profits overseas in order to prevent paying taxes on them while boasting that he’s followed the letter of the law.

    So let us now draw conclusions why “nobody hates Jay” and so many hate Mittens?

  28. Seize said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:17

    Does anyone else kind of feel like they just walked in on a stranger all dressed up in their pony play gear? Pass the bleach.

    I know it’s always projection but gee whiz.

  29. Spengler Dampniche said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:19

    I’d fuck Mitt Romney for his money. The author of the belinked screed is perfectly correct.

    I’d fuck him once, for $250 million.

  30. smedley said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:19

    “Kevin D. Williamson = David Axelrod using a pen-name?
    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.”

    Poe evermoe?

  31. N__B said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:23

    I’d fuck him once, for $250 million.

    But after you bathed in his manly essence, you’d continue fucking him gratis.

  32. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:30

    starburst mango:

    Kevin, my favorite column of the year. Loved it, so un-PC and therefore so true. You nailed it, thank you.

    PS I have always generally liked Romney, now I will follow him to the gates of hell!

    and another guy opined that mittens’ family pic is “powerful”…yeah, i guess…if you like powerful douchebags…

  33. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:32

    if you like powerful douchebags…

    although i guess douchebags aren’t needed after so much fellatin’…

  34. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:33

    So evolutionary biology is okay now?

    Here’s a Moromon polygamy joke for Williamson, Trivers Willard presupposes polygamy. The theory is based on eugenics via abortion (or possibily infanticide).

  35. paperbagmarlys said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:36

    Hard hitting think piece from CNN:

    … the danger is that we wind up with two nations and two ideas of what the truth is…

    http://cnnradio.cnn.com/2012/08/22/perpetuating-facts-via-facebook/?hpt=us_c2

  36. Another Kiwi said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:38

    Great photoshop Tintin.
    Williamson haz a fail because the pissing off the Liberals needs to have some tenuous connection to reality. Some reason for the reader to think that “This wally believes this shit.

  37. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:40

    Age is cruel to women, and subordination is cruel to men. Ellen Kullman is a very pretty woman, but at 56 years of age she probably would not turn a lot of heads in a college bar, and the fact that she is the chairman and CEO of Dupont isn’t going to change that.

    d00d’s never heard of cougars?

  38. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:40

    Romney…was the guy who fired you. He was a boss, like his dad, and like his sons probably will be.
    Vote for the hereditary aristocracy! That always works so well!
    I can only suppose that Williamson’s humiliation fantasies centre around being fired from the NR.

  39. sparks said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:42

    Is it just me, or does the Anti-Gay Party seem to run on barely-veiled homo-eroticism?

    You know who else ran on barely veiled homoeroticism?

  40. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:42

    Hard hitting think piece from CNN:

    hard hitting in that i hit my head really hard against my desk multiple times while screaming ‘fucking duh!’

  41. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:45

    Did someone say barely veiled homoeroticism?

  42. bughunter said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:51

    Found a picture of Judge Head from smedley’s link in the last thread.

  43. SoVeryConfused said,

    August 22, 2012 at 22:59

    “Um, I seem to recall Commander Codpiece only had daughters.”

    Dick Cheney has two daughters (and zero sons).

  44. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:03

    Ronald Reagan had daughters and a ballet dancer. Oh and that dummy he adopted to look masculine.

  45. bughunter, demonstrating the zero sum game between S,N! and work, said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:05

    Wait, wait… I just remembered something. (It didn’t hurt, not much.)

    Since when does the androfecundity of a couple depend on the father’s virility? I seem to recall the regressives all blaming the mothers who fail to produce a male offspring… now suddenly having two daughters turns your vas into fallopian tubes?

    (I suspect it has something to do with the identity of the current occupant of the White House, but I just can’t put my finger on it.)

  46. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:08

    how much would y’all give me if i post a comment over there to the effect of ‘um…we don’t know how many ILLEGITIMATE sons obummer has…you know how those black dudes are amirite?!?!’

  47. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:10

    Romney wasn’t some Wall Street bank-monkey with a pitch book. He was the guy who fired you.

    Based on the VP search, he lets one of his kids fire you.

    but no, he wasn’t a bank-monkey. He is a greedy vulture capitalist with a mean streak a mile wide. Nobody ever said all the assholes worked for banks.

  48. D Johnston said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:13

    Wow. The only thing missing from that piece was an estimate of Romney’s penis size.

    Oh, and I also see that they’re trying to float this meme:

    But Mitt didn’t inherit his fortune: He gave away everything his father left him

    Yeah, not so much. Romney turned away a million dollar trust as an adult, at a time in which he was worth many, many times more than that – and he took plenty from Dad while he was alive.

    There’s something great about that – in an article that’s mostly based on his belief that Romney should embrace his inner aristocrat, Williamson still manages to work in a lie about his hard working past. Yeah, keep listening to these guys, Mitt.

  49. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:16

    Since when does the androfecundity of a couple depend on the father’s virility?

    Akin has turned arse-over-kite ignorance about reproductive biology into a Republican purity test.

  50. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:17

    um…we don’t know how many ILLEGITIMATE sons obummer has

    All Romney’s daughters are to his other wives.

  51. bughunter, demonstrating the zero sum game between S,N! and work, said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:18

    While we’re playing the First Family Game, Home Edition, I should observe that Geo. H. W. Bush had four sons (and two daughters iirc), but I also suspect that was because Barbara Bush was born a man.

  52. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:18

    All Romney’s daughters are to his other wives.

    so, they don’t count, because ann is the main sister wife…

  53. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:19

    Barbara Bush was born a man.

    there is now arnold palmer all over my keyboard and monitor…also, the voice of austin powers…

  54. tigris said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:21

    The offspring of rich families are statistically biased in favor of sons — the children of the general population are 51 percent male and 49 percent female, but the children of the Forbes billionaire list are 60 percent male

    All their abortions include a mani-pedi, too.

  55. D Johnston said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:23

    Oh wow, the comments. Someone drops this not-so-subtle jab:

    After reading this tone-deaf piece, I can only speculate about the car Mr. Williamson drives — particularly, the length of its hood.

    To which Williamson responds:

    I don’t own a car.

    Stellar. All that overcompensatory macho rhetoric and that’s how you respond to a guy saying you have a tiny dick.

  56. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:24

    Notice how the ratio of female children in China has dropped, even while China turns to a market economy! Proof!

  57. tigris said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:25

    Age is cruel to women, and subordination is cruel to men. Ellen Kullman is a very pretty woman, but at 56 years of age she probably would not turn a lot of heads in a college bar, and the fact that she is the chairman and CEO of Dupont isn’t going to change that.

    She’d turn more heads than Mitt. Jesus, I’m a woman and I’d sleep with her over Mitt. I would choose Mitt over Dick Cheney, though, so there is that to assuage his wounded vanity.

  58. bughunter, demonstrating the zero sum game between S,N! and work, said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:26

    OMG, the article that was under that GIS result, while mysteriously lacking the actual picture, is full of awesome:

    Barbara Bush: Satan’s Love Child

    Heretofore, scholars have fallen back on the belief that Barbara Bush, like most demonic forces living in the guise of flesh-and-blood human beings, was created by daily masturbating into a hermetically sealed jar of poop, but this groundbreaking documentary questions even our most fundamental truths about the nature of Satan’s dominion over the head of the Bush household.

    Shorter Joseph Cannon: George Bush’s great-grandfather was none other than Aleister Crowley.

  59. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:30

    d00d’s never heard of cougars?

    Or MILF porn?

  60. bbkf said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:32

    She’d turn more heads than Mitt. Jesus, I’m a woman and I’d sleep with her over Mitt. I would choose Mitt over Dick Cheney, though, so there is that to assuage his wounded vanity.

    as i said in the last thread, on behalf of women everywhere, i give a hearty FUCK YOU to k. williamson…

    his whole ‘age is cruel to women’ thing has really pissed me off…fuck that…life is fucking cruel to women, bud…if mittens had to make his own way in this world, he might not look like the botoxed, dyed hair douche that he is today…so, again fuck you…

  61. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:39

    Age is cruel to women
    Is Williamson trying to step into Derbyshire’s shoes fluffy slippers? He’ll be going on about the nubility and pulchritude of teenagers next…

  62. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:41

    wow, the mansplaining is getting really thick, lately, isn’t it?

  63. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:44

    the mansplaining is getting really thick creamy, lately, isn’t it?

    Fixing it for the zombie.

  64. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:47

    Via TBogg, the Guardian Blogs Editor explains that they took Tacitus aboard to ensure that stupidity and Pravda-level hackery were properly represented:

    I completely understand the strong reaction against Josh [Treviño]. Much of what he has said in the past on Twitter and elsewhere is tasteless, to say the very least. But we have taken Josh on to write about the Republican side of the US presidential campaign because he represents a strand of thinking in the GOP that is in the ascendancy. Whatever we think about it, the Republican party has taken a significant lurch to the right in recent years and we should try and understand why that is, and what’s going on there. Josh is well placed to articulate that.

  65. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:50

    Josh is well placed to articulate that.

    So are people who aren’t nuts.

  66. wiley said,

    August 22, 2012 at 23:57

    Barack Obama was never in charge of anything of any significance until the delicate geniuses who make up the electorate of this fine republic handed him the keys to the Treasury and the nuclear football because we were tired of Frenchmen sneering at us when we went on vacation.

    Oh. Yeah. That’s must be it. We were tired of Frenchmen sneering at us.

  67. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 0:00

    So are people who aren’t nuts.

    Sane people could only represent the “strand of thinking in the GOP that is in the ascendancy” as outside observers.

  68. Another Kiwi said,

    August 23, 2012 at 0:04

    When you turn up expecting France to be 1) arse wrenchingly grateful because of the war and 2) Kansas, they will sneer.

  69. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    August 23, 2012 at 0:52

    Shout out to bradrocket (5 years ago) from Atrios.

    I think most of the Internozzles owes royalties to Sadly, no.

  70. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 0:53

    Josh is well placed to articulate that.
    So are people who aren’t nuts.

    Well, yes, it is similar to arguing that abnormal-psych. textbooks are best written by the criminally insane.

  71. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 0:59

    The sad thing is that Kevin D. Williamson can never ever hope to live up to the penis power of Mitt Romney.

    He’ll have to settle for worshipping at the tip…

  72. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 1:03

    I hope that Trevino’s submissions are disclaimered with that statement. Sort of a “the following views have a good likelihood of being tasteless to say the least, but there is an ascendant group of bigoted ignoramuses and having a sociopathic idiot espouse the lunatic hate-filled screeds stemming from his paranoid delusional worldview should be useful in understanding it”

  73. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 1:10

    More awesome.

    This blogger may well be a sadlynaut, even.

  74. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 1:16

    d00d’s never heard of cougars?

    Oh, I’m sure he has. His problem is that he hasn’t had pussy since pussy had him.

  75. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 1:49

    Also too, Like A Boss? Buckley must be proud of where National Review writers are drawing inspiration from</a€.

  76. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 1:50

    Whee tag fail. Good to be back.

  77. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:01

    I can’t keep up here, any more!

    Sleep study, tonight. Let’s see if they have WiFi.
    .

  78. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:05

    Yeah, but you’ve fathered a girl, D-KW. You’re practically a woman.

  79. Spearhafoc, who has the boorish manners of a Yalie said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:07

    I haven’t fathered anybody.

    Do…do I exist?

  80. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:10

    Yeah, but you’ve fathered a girl, D-KW. You’re practically a woman.

    I wasn’t sure how to respond to this at first, but thinking about it a bit more I think the best response is Thank You.

  81. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:12

    You’re welcome. So’s your mom.

  82. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:35

    DKW-

    I’m more tickled pink by the lack of awareness on display.

    Like a Boss is air-raid-siren level of obvious satire. It fucking skewers the whole corporate worship of over-compensating manager types and just how pathetic these people are and how bragging about them is inherently comical even before you get into the parts where he’s rocketing into space.

    And yet, even when it’s spelled out for them, they completely fail to read the satire at all and just assume it’s yet another open-mouthed beg for some rich asshole’s sperm.

    I’m not sure how these people live their lives so comedy impaired, but it’d probably go a long way to explaining why they are so completely fucked up.

  83. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:38

    I haven’t fathered anybody. … Do…do I exist?

    That makes two of us.

  84. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:48

    Alternate shorter: Why are all these bitches claiming there’s a war on women?

  85. RWW said,

    August 23, 2012 at 2:48

    Obama’s a girly man when he’s not being a Mau Mau Chicago style urban street thug out to impregnate your virginal white daughter. Perfectly clear.

  86. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 3:00

    Mau Mau Chicago style

    Is that extra thick, with a big slab of sausage, and it takes 45 minutes to an hour to come?

  87. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 3:04

    Shorter Cerb: We have been trolled.

    I have to confess, I did consider Poe’s Law at first, but it seemed so sincere.

  88. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 3:21

    Yeah, it’s like the only thing that matters is the word Boss. Not surprising considering the authoritarian streak in most conservatives, that inherent need for there to be worthy virtuous folks and evil moochers. That a person’s value to society is proportional to how many direct reports he has.

    That they are the very stereotype being poked at and are so blind to it that they laugh along, not knowing their pathetic worldview is the punchline – that’s pretty entertaining.

  89. tensor, proud descendant of many a sneering Frenchman, said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:09

    …we were tired of Frenchmen sneering at us when we went on vacation.

    Worse yet, we went back there the next year, and they were forced to taunt us a second time!

    Further proof, as if any were needed, that life sans a sense of humor is mere wretched, wasted existence.

  90. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:18

    that life sans a sense of humor is mere wretched, wasted existence.

    The Frenchmen are coming FROM INSIDE THE COMMENT!

  91. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:26

    Is that extra thick, with a big slab of sausage, and it takes 45 minutes to an hour to come?

    Why does everything on this blog sound dirty sometimes?

  92. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:36

    You’re a sex-crazed maniac?

  93. smedley said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:36

    “That they are the very stereotype being poked at and are so blind to it that they laugh along, not knowing their pathetic worldview is the punchline – that’s pretty entertaining.”

    There was that most excellent scene in “The President’s Analyst” wherein the late great Godfrey Cambridge recalled his childhood laughter when his brother and friends went running down the street yelling “Run, run, here comes the nigger…………..”

  94. smedley said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:41

    Here it is:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRxu0ooBrPE

  95. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:52

    when his brother and friends went running down the street yelling “Run, run, here comes the nigger…………..”

    Actually, the Cambridge character did that as a young child, innocently imitating the bigots who were taunting him. The brother slapped him and told him what a “nigger” was.

  96. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 4:55

    Why does everything on this blog sound dirty sometimes?
    You’re a sex-crazed maniac?

    Besides that, I mean.

  97. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 5:01

    FIRST!

  98. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 5:12

    Needed some bourbon for cooking and as we rarely drink the stuff I was …. challenged at the bourbon store. I tossed a coin, threw a dart, and spun the wheel. When I got home I found I have a bottle of Elijah Craig 12 year old. I like the name as it sounds all gospelly southern (think Night of the Hunter).

    Teh Ho said “since it’s just for cooking I figured you’d get some cheap shit.”
    “We’re only gong to use a little of it for cooking (bacon maple bourbon jam and pineapple upside down cake with bourbon caramel) but the rest will get drinkeded so I didn’t want no rot gut.”

    Tell me you bourbon – that’s SO French! – aficionados, should I dump the rest or try drinking it?

  99. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 23, 2012 at 5:21

    No, I’ve bought it, it’s much better than rotgut.

    (And yes, the name was part of the purchase.)
    ~

  100. Whale Chowder said,

    August 23, 2012 at 5:40

    Jeez, it has alcohol innit, right? Why the HELL would you throw it away?

  101. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 5:44

    bughunter-

    Oh no, they are 100% serious. Fuck it’s pretty standard MRA/PUA shit.

    I’m more tickled pink that they missed the point of the original Like a Boss despite it being the least subtle parody on the planet. That’d be like watching Office Space and thinking the 2 Bobs were the heroes of the movie.

  102. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 6:12

    The Elijah Craig is a good bourbon. My older brother’s favourite. It’s not really to my tastes, a little too clean cut and smooth, but I can certainly understand how some folks love it.

  103. John Revolta said,

    August 23, 2012 at 6:16

    “Run, run, here comes the nigger…………..”

    Yow. I’d forgotten about that scene. Cambridge really nails it, IIRC.

  104. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 6:21

    Damn, you’re right. I had forgotten about that meme… at least enough to fail to connect it to Williamson’s title.

    (Poe’s Law still applies, however.)

  105. Another Kiwi said,

    August 23, 2012 at 6:42

    Yow. I’d forgotten about that scene. Cambridge really nails it, IIRC.
    Youtube is our friend

  106. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 7:17

    You know, as many times as I’ve been to France (I’ve lost count) I’ve never had a French person be rude to me. Even the supposedly oh-so-rude Parisians seemed nice enough.

  107. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 8:30

    Major-

    French people are actually very nice and hospitable. However, as a culture, they do not believe that people should suffer fools and pretend to be nice to them. And they definitely don’t view service professions in the same way as us. By which I mean they don’t think people working minimum wage jobs in customer service gigs are the automatic slave of whatever half-bred moron walks into the joint.

    That doesn’t mean that said positions don’t treat customers well. But they will speak their mind and correct the customer if they think they are making a mistake.

    So, it’s not so much that French people are rude as American tourists are rude and really aren’t aware of how much they take for granted how many jobs in America are tailor made to either ignore or compliment ignorance.

  108. John Revolta said,

    August 23, 2012 at 8:39

    The thing about the French is that they’re so rude back.
    Bastards.

  109. John Revolta said,

    August 23, 2012 at 8:45

    Which is more or less what Cerb said.
    Bitch.

  110. M. Bouffant said,

    August 23, 2012 at 9:06

    Cambridge really nails it, IIRC.
    Dollars to doughnuts that really happened to Cambridge or someone he knew.

  111. Lancelot Link said,

    August 23, 2012 at 9:07

    Like a boss? or like a son-of-boss?
    http://www.son-of-boss.com/

  112. John Revolta said,

    August 23, 2012 at 9:31

    Dollars to doughnuts

    He sure makes it look that way. I know he’s an actor and all, but still……………

    It gives me a sad.

  113. paperbagmarlys said,

    August 23, 2012 at 10:14

    Wheeeeeee! It’s just how it is.

    “… the joy would be never explaining why or never acknowledging it. Never once. And then just keep doing it until people expect it and eventually stop being curious why Romney with a small face is just how it is. And after time, people would just visualize Romney with a really silly little face….”

    http://littlefacemitt.tumblr.com/

  114. Hogeye Grex said,

    August 23, 2012 at 10:49

    Jesus Haploid Christ in a dayglo polkadot gimp suit with a ball gag. The hits just keep comin’.

    Szabo said he would arrest doctors who perform elective or late-term abortions and bring them to the county attorney to prosecute, even if the doctors’ actions were allowed under state law.

    Szabo maintains that the county sheriff is a position that doesn’t answer to any other public official.

    I… He… Umm… I mean… Er…

    What. The. Fuck?

  115. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 11:01

    What. The. Fuck?
    Look, you have a Judge in Texas who wants to increase local taxes so the county authorities can stock up on guns & ammunition in preparation for the Race War that will come in November after Obama loses the election. Straight out of The Turner Diaries. And you have the Fox Channel interviewing the chappie to give him a platform to warn everyone about the coming Turner Diaries Race War — Helter Skelter and all that.

    It is as if Charles Manson is running one of the biggest media networks.
    “WTF” seems a wildly inadequate response

  116. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 12:19

    Original inspiration for Little-face Mitt.

  117. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 12:35

    Hopeye – think of it like the Protestant reformation. Once you stop acknowledging that the old central authority has any say over what you do, EVERYONE is free to pick their own path. Next thing you know, you’ve got a county sheriff named Moroni.

  118. Dot said,

    August 23, 2012 at 13:13

    ” R-MONEY does billion-dollar deals with Keystone Automotive and Delphi.”

    Yeah, except Bain bought Keystone five years after Romney allegedly retired and paid $441 million. But hey, sure, Romney did that billion dollar deal. Hard to take someone seriously who can’t even manage the basic research.

    “Stephen Zide, a managing director of Bain Capital LLC since 2001, headed the firm’s involvement with Keystone Automotive Operations Inc., identifying it as “an extremely attractive” target.”

    Read more: Bain: Keystone Automotive – The Deal Pipeline http://www.thedeal.com/magazine/ID/045957/features/bain-keystone-automotive.php#ixzz24MnPUlvv

  119. kg said,

    August 23, 2012 at 15:57

    Dee Snyder delivers.

    http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2012/08/23/twisted-sisters-dee-snider-wants-paul-ryan-to-stop-playing-his-song/

  120. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 16:04

    Being semi-old, I remember watching Twisted Sister in Jimmy Byrne’s ( http://www.discomusic.com/clubs-more/3145_0_6_0_C/ ) circa 1980. That was before they started wearing the KISS-alike makeup.

    Their music sucked then, too.

  121. Seize said,

    August 23, 2012 at 16:48

    Szabo maintains that the county sheriff is a position that doesn’t answer to any other public official.

    Szabo clarified that he thinks of himself as Batman, except with guns.

  122. Seize said,

    August 23, 2012 at 16:49

    “There is almost nothing on which I agree with Paul Ryan, except perhaps the use of the P90X.

  123. wiley said,

    August 23, 2012 at 17:32

    But they will speak their mind and correct the customer if they think they are making a mistake.

    A waiter in Paris wouldn’t get me my orange juice until I pronounced it properly in French. I loved it— free French lessons!– and found the French to be quite friendly. I said merci and s’il vous plaît copiously.

  124. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 17:33

    P90X is a workout program that doesn’t involve politics.

    SAYS YOU!

    LOL-thanks for clearing that up for us…

  125. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 17:42

    I went to France once, after having 2 years of French in high school. I still couldn’t understand what anyone was saying unless they spoke very slowly.

    I found the French to be just like everyone else–some of them were total assholes, most of them were pretty cool people. Lucky for us fatass Americans, nearly all of them spoke basic English.

  126. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 17:49

    I found that the French were perfectly willing to go along with my misremembered high-school mangling of French if I began the conversation with some version of Parlay-Vu-Englay?

  127. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 17:54

    When I went to France on a business junket, most (not all) of the executives I talked with spoke English better than I speak French. But they readily agreed when I said I wanted to practice my French, and I soon figured out why: Unless their English was perfect, one of us was going to have to make a fool of himself, and since this was their country, they’d rather it was me.

    Side note: These guys, being entrepreneurs, were somewhat more politically conservative than the average French citizen. One guy was surprised when I told him that, when you add my health insurance payments and 401(k) contributions to my taxes, the total amount I pay is the same or more than what French people pay for their social services.

  128. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 17:55

    Ronald Reagan told me there’s no French word for “entrepreneur.”

  129. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:04

    But there are some French words for Ronald Reagan: connard, buffon, salopard, etc.

  130. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:07

    Being semi-old, I remember watching Twisted Sister

    heh…’we’re not gonna take it’ was my son’s favorite song when he was a tot…we had to listen to it nearly every morning on our way in to school(ahhhh…fond memories of that cassette blasting away in my puce saab turbo–late 70′s model with burnt orange interior!)…perhaps that’s why he has problems with authoritay? but, it was my penance for waking him up nearly every morning with glen campbell’s ‘sunflower’…

  131. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:11

    Yeah, that was into the KISS-alike era. The song “Twisted Sister” – as performed by the band Twisted Sister – was from an earlier, gentler era. I have a headache just remembering it.

  132. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:13

    gads…have any of you been assaulted by musical abomination? i doubt it, but you must all feel my pain! local radio insists on playing it ad nauseum…that is the country stations that are not ‘classic’ rock which really means they play the same boston, rolling stones, phil collins (wtf?!), ac/dc, eric clapton, bto songs over and over…i truly live in a radio wasteland…

    p.s. hubbkf does enjoy the video version…i’m sure some of you will figure out why…

  133. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:15

    I went to France once, after having 2 years of French in high school. I still couldn’t understand what anyone was saying unless they spoke very slowly.

    ha…when i went to england nearly a decade ago, i had difficulties understanding them! imagine my chagrin when i landed in ireland a few years later…i would be totally screwed in a place that DIDN’T speak in an english-y way…once the jet lag wore off i was okay, but still…i felt like a total maroon and obnoxious american tourist for a while…

  134. The Tragically Flip said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:21

    Offspring gender stupidity aside, I will happily concede that Mitt Romney is much more of an alpha male than Barack Obama. He did after all, hold down a kid and shave his head. That alone proves his asshole bonafides.

    The issue is, we secular humanist fag loving commie dhimmis just don’t think “being an asshole” is much of a reason to vote for someone.

  135. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:29

    He did after all, hold down a kid and shave his head.

    He didn’t shave that kid’s head, just cut the kid’s hair until it was a length he found acceptable. Alpha males shave their own heads, from what I can tell.

  136. Seize said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:33

    But they will speak their mind and correct the customer if they think they are making a mistake.

    This explains why the only time “the French” ever seemed rude to me was when my 14-year-old self was trying to buy green mascara at Lancôme.

  137. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:37

    I have sired 3 daughters, no sons. I am a total bitch. There goes my presidential aspirations.

  138. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:48

    This explains why the only time “the French” ever seemed rude to me was when my 14-year-old self was trying to buy green mascara at Lancôme.

    A friend of mine—NOT ME—was staying in Paris and one day got the hankering for some strawberry jam. He didn’t know the right word, but figured it had to be something like “preserves,” so he walked into a grocery store and asked for des preservatifs aux fraises.

    What that actually means is “strawberry-flavored condoms.”

    The clerk just look back at him and said, “Until now, monsieur, I didn’t even know those things came in flavors.”

  139. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:48

    I have sired 3 daughters, no sons. I am a total bitch. There goes my presidential aspirations.

    on the upside, we now know that when you threaten violence, it’s really just pms, which really is just bs and a girl thing, so no biggie…girls and their periods, amirite, fellas?!

  140. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:50

    girls and their periods, amirite, fellas?!

    Something I know a thing or two about. My bedroom provides a nice sanctuary from the hormonal insanity.

  141. als said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:52

    In my Armchair Psychology classes, we learned that women go for men who share their status. I don’t think women are going to go for Mittens on account of his status when his message to them is, “I’m rich and you’re not, and that’s why I think you should pay for both us.”

  142. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:53

    The clerk just look back at him and said, “Until now, monsieur, I didn’t even know those things came in flavors.”

    I hope, fervently, the clerk said this with one eyebrow raised.

  143. N__B said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:54

    I knew a girl once who had a perforated ulcer she called her semi-colon.

  144. kg said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:57

    I’ve sired one son AND I shave my head but am still a pansy liberal.

  145. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 18:59

    I hope, fervently, the clerk said this with one eyebrow raised.

    I wouldn’t know.

    Really. I wouldn’t.

  146. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:02

    R-MONEY does billion-dollar deals with Keystone Automotive and Delphi

    This reminded me of something yesterday that I couldn’t put my finger on… until now:

    Jellicle Cats develop slowly,
    Jellicle Cats are not too big,
    Jellicle Cats are roly poly,
    They know how to dance a gavotte and a jig.

    I know this by heart not because I love Andrew Lloyd Weber, but because my mom used to read from Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats many, many times when I was a little tyke. Now I read it to my son.

  147. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:06

    If the urge to cut idiots and assholes were related to hormonal cycles wouldn’t it occasionally wane?

    Also, isn’t Obama is the alpha male by definition? Romney is merely a challenger to the alpha male.

  148. kg said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:12

    Yes, Obammy is the silverback.

  149. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:13

    Romney is about as alpha as any other male who has hair that appears to be a helmet he puts on in the morning.

    He’s as alpha as a guy who hires a douchy little prick Congressman to be his running mate because he doesn’t have any cred with the socially paralyzed.

    He is as alpha as a guy who thinks that displacing and firing workers makes him a tough guy–I imagine he thinks something like “heavy is the head that wears the crown”.

    He’s about as alpha as your mom.

  150. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:14

    If the urge to cut idiots and assholes were related to hormonal cycles wouldn’t it occasionally wane?

    I think it does, however the 28 day interval doesn’t quite allow for all of the rage to subside. Just when things are settling down, here comes another…

    Wait–what does that say about me?

  151. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:19

    R-MONEY does billion-dollar deals with Keystone Automotive and Delphi

    Rmoney has no time for the poors

    When Rmoney speaks, God listens

    Rmoney is doing your mom right now.

    If you dropped Rmoney off at the North Pole with nothing but his boxers, he would show up poolside the next morning with a million dollar smile and a pocket full of pesos.

  152. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:19

    Rmoney will hog the fuck out your thread.

  153. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:22

    Now I read it to my son.

    I read it to my daughter but dang if the melodies don’t come through.

  154. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:23

    gads…have any of you been assaulted by musical abomination?

    Yes. By YOU.

    Working through C.

    25 Or 6 To 4 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chicago
    Goodnight ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cheap Trick
    Hundred Pounds Of Clay ||||||||||||||||||||||| Craig Douglas
    No One's More Happy Than You ||||||||||||||||||||| Clem Snide
    Rapid Void |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris And Cosey
    Good Times ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chic
    Powerhouse And Other Cuts From The Early 50's | Carl Stalling
    Japanese Title |||||||||||||||||||| Crescent Moon Roar Troupe
    Oh Dear Friends |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chisel
    She Never Understood ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Comet Gain
    Dropout Boogie ||||||||| Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band
    Bang Bang (my Baby Shot Me Down) ||||||||||||||||||||||| Cher
    Forever Blue |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris Isaak
    This Picture ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Colin Newman
    Kings Of The Highway |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris Isaak
    In From The Outside |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cinderella
    Red Is the Rose |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Chieftains
    Blue Turning Gray ||||||||||||||||| Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
    Sunshine Of Your Love ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cream
    Let The Four Winds Blow ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Crowbar

  155. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:23

    Rmoney will hog the fuck out your thread.

    alpha thread hogging!!!

  156. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:26

    Yes. By YOU.

    told you you had to feel my pain! also, i’m pretty down with your ‘c’ playlist with the exceptions of chicago and chic…two groups i could live without forever…

    speaking of things that start with ‘c’, cats have not been talked about lately, so imma take this opportunity to announce my displeasure in the fact that there has not been a louis vs rick update in forfuckingever!

  157. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:27

    also, too…is alphabetizing by first name a canadian thing? or do you just like to play fast and loose with the rules?

  158. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:27

    Rmoney will kick your cat. You will find it difficult to resist the urge to thank him for it.

  159. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:31

    also, too…is alphabetizing by first name a canadian thing?

    It’s an iTunes thing mainly, but I also deal with a lot of names, and for my purposes first names work best. Particularly since The Patriarchy takes away lady names a lot of times.

  160. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:31

    He’s about as alpha as your mom.

    My mom would kick Romney’s ass so hard there wouldn’t be anything left.

  161. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:35

    My mom battled her whole fucking life against men to get to the top of her profession, where there were still men who were bitter about it. Rmoney’s a candy-ass.

  162. Pryme said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:36

    I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

  163. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:37

    R-MONEY’s the cat kicking you out the door
    His name which I ought to have told you before
    Is really Willard-Mitt but that’s such a fuss
    To prnounce when he’s thrown your jobs under the bus

    His polling’s quite shabby, we’re throwing his campaign a wake,
    His platform’s got policies based on facts that are fake
    Yet he was in his youth, quite the alpha-est of cats
    Looting companies with Bain to enrichen corpo-rats.

  164. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:44

    I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

    It’s cool. They got lots of guns.

  165. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:46

    He’s about as alpha as your mom.

    I do not want to know how D-KW feels about this.

  166. Pupienus Maximus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:48

    In other convention related news…

  167. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:48

    It’s cool. They got lots of guns.

    They’ll shoot its eye out.

  168. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:51

    I read it to my daughter but dang if the melodies don’t come through.

    Well I haven’t seen the musical (I’m probably the only boomer who hasn’t) so I still use my own meter and cadence… Jellicle Cats is hard, though, because I have seen that one online.

  169. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:53

    [applaud DKW]

    Well, of all… Things!
    Can it be… really!
    No!
    Yes!
    Ho! hi!
    Oh, my eye!
    My mind may be wandering, but I confess
    I believe it’s a Cat Food Economy!

  170. Suezboo said,

    August 23, 2012 at 19:58

    bbkf, I feel your pain. You turned me on to Louis vs Rick and I fear being bookmarked by me is the Kiss of Death. Sigh. Another one bites the dust. I’m feeling very Queenly today.

  171. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:08

    I was raised listening to this:

    http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=491888

    as a child (Luddite, no have proper linky-fu) so these are the cadences I hear. I was dragged to the show and, other than the wonderful makeup and lithesome, slithesome dancers, pretty much loathed it.

  172. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:12

    Rmoney will bite your dust like a fuckin BOSS.

  173. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:13

    Marion,

    Is this from that record?

  174. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:13

    Rmoney is no luddite. He has seen EVERY episode of Veggie Tales.

  175. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:14

    Rmoney will troll your site with stupid jokes until a death threat comes out.

  176. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:17

    Rmoney will TELL YOU what balanced coverage is

  177. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:18

    bbkf, I feel your pain. You turned me on to Louis vs Rick and I fear being bookmarked by me is the Kiss of Death. Sigh. Another one bites the dust. I’m feeling very Queenly today.

    perhaps we gave it a double-whammy? i also am a kiss of death purveyor…seems like every bit of awesome (s,n! excluded) i ‘discover’ online immediately peters out as soon i become hooked…

    oh hell yeah! i think i might be able to end that pesky war on drugs!!! excuse me while i’m in an illegally induced stupor for the next little while…

  178. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:21

    bughunter, here at work we are youtube denied. (snarls directed at TPTB here)

  179. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:23

    seems like every bit of awesome (s,n! excluded) i ‘discover’ online immediately peters out as soon i become hooked…

    Then there are 3 of us who carry the “smooch of doom” gene. My “favorites” list is actually more of an obituary page now…

  180. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:24

    Rmoney loves him some energy independence

  181. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:24

    Marion, it’s OK: it’s not Robert Donat, but someone reading for YouTube upload.

    Still, not bad, and many links on the right to recitations by TS Eliot himself. Check it out when you get home.

  182. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:24

    Rmoney will end you and your website. All before 0900.

  183. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:31

    bughunter, see if you can find Donat reading some of the poems. I thought he did a better job than Old Possum himself, but YMMV.

  184. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:32

    Marion and bbkf, I have shared your pain.

  185. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:33

    Rmoney loves him some energy independence

    okay, so this leads me to what i’ve been thinking about…this morning on mpr, the mid-morning crew was at the state fair and had an open forum with meteorologists…climate change came up…one of the guys stated that climate change is real…whether or not it’s because of man is what’s up for debate…but there has been a change in climate…and then wondered what is so wrong about stewardship?

    this has been bugging me for a long time…i know the answer is probably dissonance, but really, why do these idiotic gooper fundies get so worked up about being green and trying to conserve energy? don’t they believe that god gave them this world to use as they will? but at the same time good stewardship is part of being a good christian? and they are duty bound to be good stewards of this gift from god? and at the very least, you shouldn’t shit where your kids and their kids are gonna eat?

    wtf, people?!

  186. Marion in Savannah said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:43

    bbkf, my guess is the combination of “Gawd gave us DOMINION over it,” and “it pisses off liberals” is toxic enough to make them shit where they eat.

  187. smedley said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:48

    Rmoney will make sure bbkf will never run out of question marks?

  188. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 23, 2012 at 20:59

    I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

    Better check with Pat Robertson just to be safe.

  189. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:08

    Rmoney leaves the lights on and the fridge open. Hippies only dream of being so motherfucking boss.

  190. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:12

    wtf, people?!

    The “idiotic gooper fundies” are also end-timers, believing that the apocalypse is upon us and therefore it doesn’t really matter what happens to the planet, and that those who aren’t raptured are destined to stay behind and suffer anyway so why not let the place go to shit?

    These nutjobs are more concerned with “saving souls” which, combined with the effect of conservative propaganda, translates into the kind of corporate libertarianism that insists there’s no such thing as good regulation, no matter what the motive… and especially not liberal motives like environmentalism or human rights.

    Thus, even if Global Warming is non-anthropogenic, they still don’t fucking care, and in fact would rather let the place go to shit because they all believe Jeebus is one day going to say “energize” and transport the lot of them up to Starbase Anglo Heaven Seven where they can enjoy watching the rest of us suffer in torment…

  191. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:13

    The stupidest thing about so-called conservatives is that while they take hunting and fishing very seriously, they take fucking up the world every bit as seriously.
    A local outdoors writer nearly got fired from our local paper (-owned and operated by one of spokane’s original robber baron families) for saying that if you hunt or fish and you’re not an environmentalist, youre an idiot.

  192. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:15

    this has been bugging me for a long time…i know the answer is probably dissonance, but really, why do these idiotic gooper fundies get so worked up about being green and trying to conserve energy? don’t they believe that god gave them this world to use as they will? but at the same time good stewardship is part of being a good christian? and they are duty bound to be good stewards of this gift from god? and at the very least, you shouldn’t shit where your kids and their kids are gonna eat?

    This will probably get answered by the time I post this, but I wanted to answer at length. There are several interconnected factors behind the anti-environmentalist movement, your average wingnut probably doesn’t hold all of these attitudes, but some might.
    1) the “I got mine, fuck you” school of thought This is the position held by major Oil Companies . They have invested billions in putting together the modern petrochemical-energy industry and infrastructure, and made trillions. This school of thought looks no further than the next quarterly statement and refuses to plan further ahead than they are forced to. Investment in green or sustainable energy is anethema to them, because it doesn’t make them any more money then they are making right now. I have to believe many of the biggest energy exectuives and stockholders are old enough that they imagine they will die before the music stops, many of them may be right.

    2) the “god will provide” school of thought. Many of these like former Reagan Administration Secretary of the Interior James Watt, really believe that the earth is one big all you can eat buffet, and god wouldn’t allow the resources to run out, and/or the rapture will happen before resources run out. Others actually believe the second coming will only occur after the resources have been used up at which point the second coming will happen and the promised new heaven and new earth really will literally happen and they can start all over again. They reject any course of action that slows the ruin of the environment as secular sabotage of Christ’s immanent return.

    3) the tribalist school of thought. Some people are so partisan that they imagine any information which contradicts their reality is wrong at best or a malicious lie at worst. There will be no arguing with these folks who believe climatologists are rolling in Ferraris from the phat “global warming alarmism” gravy train and maybe Soros money. These are the people who imagine environmentalism is a paper thin veneer of a communist plot to hobble the US economy.

    4) the “its inevitable” school of thought. These people believe that global climate change is going to happen anyway and or is independent of human causes. They imagine nothing they can do individually or collectively can affect Global climate change, and therefore reject any solution or combination of solutions that doesn’t fix everything forever.

    5) The “La la la I can’t hear you” school of (non) thought. These folks find the whole topic so upsetting they tune out whenever it is introduced and can’t believe something so serious is real and imminent.

  193. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:34

    Oops, forgot one

    The Profiteer school of thought. These folks want all of the worst predictions of Global climate Change to happen because they imagine they they will be better off in a post global warming world. Whether they have bought seafront property in the foothills of the Appalachians to gun nuts waiting for an opportunity to use an arsenal, to racists hoping the catastrophe will eiliminate millions of the Dutch, these people look into the abyss and like what they see.

  194. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:35

    bughunter-

    It’s not just that they think the world is ending so who cares what they do to the planet. It’s that they think the world is ending and it is their sacred duty to fuck up the planet as bad as they possibly can.

    See, the logic goes like this. Certain things need to happen before Christ can return, most of them being global disasters, the rest mostly related to Israel owning as much of the Middle East as they can.

    Hence, a good Christian’s duty is to fuck up the planet as bad as they possibly can, because that hastens the day Christ will return and thus betters your chance of “going to Heaven before you die”, which for some reason isn’t like just dying normally.

    This is also why fundies support Israel in everything they do despite hating Jews about as much as they hate Muslims. Because Christ apparently also can’t return until Israel owns a large chunk of Middle Eastern real estate. This is also, sad to say, the real reason that so many right-wingers are clamoring for an invasion of Iran.

    Fred Clark of Slacktivist has a lot about this twisted group of people.

  195. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:40

    Agree with HM. I painted with very broad brushes… HM went for a more detailed picture.

    I want to add a subset of the 1) IGMFU crowd… those who feel that they have the financial resources to maintain their lifestyle and safety no matter how hot it gets or how far the seas rise… and in fact may feel that it will help their situation by increasing the desperation of the unwashed masses.

    In general, the entire IGMFU crowd is well situated to promulgate anti-AGW and anti-stewardship attitudes thru manipulation of the media and especially for their audiences that are receptive to such messages (the other four crowds).

    It wasn’t long ago that a significant portion of the religious population was receptive to the message that we are responsible for stewardship of the planet, since it was God’s gift to mankind, but look what happened to them…

  196. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:45

    Helmut-

    You also forgot this group:

    7) The “manly men” school of thought. These folks associate “caring for the planet”, healthy living, and environmentalism in general as “weak pussy actions” that rob a man of his masculinity. This especially came to a head when environmentalists were forced to acknowledge the role of giant SUVs and gluttony for fast food burgers play in the global warming crisis, but really began once the image of an environmentalist moved from big tough hunter man to skinny young hiker. To these mens minds, one can shore up their masculinity creds by angrily opposing whatever girly environmental types support and stupidly polluting for no reason. And yes a toxic masculinity complex really is all said men need to shit where they eat.

  197. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:48

    Certain things need to happen before Christ can return, most of them being global disasters, the rest mostly related to Israel owning as much of the Middle East as they can.

    Hence, a good Christian’s duty is to fuck up the planet as bad as they possibly can, because that hastens the day Christ will return

    And yet all of these people condemn the actions of Judas, without whose betrayal there would have been no crucifixion, and don’t see that by their own logic they are just so many Judases.

  198. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:49

    Cerberus, I thought about that group and I would lump them in with the tribalists. But there may be a case for having them be a distinct group.

  199. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 21:55

    tigris-

    I think they justify it to themselves by being super-vigilant to the rise of the Antichrist so they can make a big show of resisting him personally. See, it won’t matter that they are trying to literally hurry God along for their own selfish desires and are doing most of the evil things God needs to hit the reboot button as long as they make the correct show of being on the “right side” at the end by being against anyone who talks about peace or multinational co-operation.

    These people would be hilarious if these insane beliefs weren’t preventing us from fixing the global disasters they have caused.

  200. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:00

    The “manly men” school of thought.

    i think this one hits the nail on the head with most of the population…there are the assorted folks in the other groups, but i think for the most part, this is it…funny, i had a thought adjacent to this just a few moments ago when i put $40 of gas in and vanna’s gas gauge moved barely a tick…gas prices are pretty atrocious right now, but has this slowed murkins down in any real appreciable way? um, no…still a proliferation of big machines on the road and a steadfast refusal to carpool or take public transportation…granted, in a more metro area, these two things are used more, but out here in the sticks? fuck you! i NEED an suv! even though i never have to haul anything larger than groceries and live in a town with paved roads…and then it’s bitch, bitch, bitch about gas prices…i just want to take out a billboard that screams, ‘buy a more economical car, dumbass!’

  201. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:03

    my mom makes me think of another group: anti-feds/anti-gov…she would rather light candles or use kerosene lamps than buy those lightbulbs obama is forcing down her throat…anything the government deems ‘good’ she is going to resist…well, except for dad’s social security and rural carrier’s insurance…and medicaid…

  202. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:04

    fuck you! i NEED an suv! even though i never have to haul anything larger than groceries and live in a town with paved roads

    I always figure I can rent a truck for the one day out of the year I might have to move a piece of furniture.

  203. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:05

    One of the richest, most perverse ironies in modern America is that most of these fundies are *exactly* the kind of demagogue-worshiping sheep that would be taken in by an “antichrist” as described in the Bible.

    On the rare occasions that I talk to rapturists, I like to tell them, “The rapture has already happened and you weren’t selected. The antichrist has come, and you voted for him. Thank you very much and have nice day in purgatory.”

    Those people usually stay very far away from me afterwards.

  204. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:06

    I always figure I can rent a truck for the one day out of the year I might have to move a piece of furniture.

    And it’s interesting that there’s some sort of “market” for such rentals. I wonder if these people have ever heard of this “free market” — somebody should tell them about it.

  205. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:11

    I always figure I can rent a truck for the one day out of the year I might have to move a piece of furniture.

    Would your boss let you borrow a vehicle from work for a few hours? I hear a 737 can hold a couch or two.

  206. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:14

    we learned that women go for men who share their status.

    Does this mean I have to sign up to FB?

  207. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:16

    The “manly men” school of thought.

    Watch super-genius Jeff Dunham talk about the Prius he claims his wife bought. That about sums it all up.

    By and large, the manly man thing means you’re proud of being a fat, ugly piece of shit. It means you have ugly beards. It means you think loud, obnoxious vehicles are cool. It means you take a certain pride in the long list of things you deep fry and eat. It means that guns should be free and accessible to everyone except people they don’t like. It means the louder the burp or the fart, the more manly you are. It means that when daughters start dating, you sit at home with your guns and do your best to intimidate her dates. If you raise sons, you knock the shit out of him if you don’t like what just came out of his mouth. It means NOBODY is going to tell you when you turn the goddamn lights out. It means you think them bumper stickers are pretty goddamn clever. It means any and all taxes are BAD BAD BAD. It means you know exactly what the Confederate flag stands for, yet display it proudly, while calling liberals traitors…o_O–I could go on for days, since I live right in the middle of a scuzzy, right wing shithole, but I’ll spare you the rest.

  208. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:19

    Would your boss let you borrow a vehicle from work for a few hours? I hear a 737 can hold a couch or two.

    At 1000 gallons of fuel per hour it might get a little pricey.

  209. Helmut Monotreme said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:27

    At 1000 gallons of fuel per hour it might get a little pricey.

    [smartass] but with a cruising speed of 511 mph, you probably wouldn’t need to be out anywhere near that long [/smartass]

  210. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:30

    By and large,

    dang…i’m glad hubbkf is NOT a manly man…after all, he’s sired a son and a daughter, so i guess he’s a wash…

  211. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:32

    But you know when you’re in a rush to get back you always get stuck behind a little old lady who insists on driving her plane really slowly.

  212. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:32

    At 1000 gallons of fuel per hour it might get a little pricey.

    The fact that you aren’t even considering shipping the couch across town via a large multinational shipping company shows how insensitive liberals are to the needs of job creators. You would probably even do some socialesty thing like “borrow” a truck from a “friend” or something horrible like that.

    Ergo, liberals are evil.

  213. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:36

    oh! oh! oh! masochist that i am, i went a-looking for a response from k-lo about the whole todd akin thing (yes, my mind works in mysterious ways…don’t ask)…anyhoo, i found something even BETTER!

    mona…

    I must offer a mild dissent to the widespread view expressed by both Republicans and Democrats that what Akin said was outrageously “stupid.” The “legitimate rape” wording was atrocious, agreed. But much of the commentary has focused on Akin’s mistaken belief that women’s bodies have the capacity to “shut down” the reproductive process in cases of rape. (Akin has since acknowledged that he was wrong.) Interviewing Akin on Good Morning America, George Stephanopoulos spoke for many when he said, “A lot of people are wondering how an idea like that can even get in your head.”

    Really? Is it such an outlandish idea? I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that pregnancies are less likely in cases of rape, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me. Many things about the human body are peculiar and amazing. And frankly, more people than are today admitting it must believe that a woman’s mental state has something to do with her capacity to conceive. Consider that every woman (including me) who has ever experienced infertility is told, even by some doctors, that she should try to “relax.”

  214. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:37

    But you know when you’re in a rush to get back you always get stuck behind a little old lady who insists on driving her plane really slowly.

    around here it’s little old men wearing seed caps just slightly askew…

  215. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:39

    The problem is, multinationalshippingcompany (which gives me a hefty employee discount) would work fine for getting said couch across the country, but they’re not really set up for cross-town delivery.

    They’d make me bring it to their main distribution center, which would require renting a truck anyway.

  216. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:41

    Really? Is it such an outlandish idea?

    Yes, really.

    How ’bout a harder question: Mona: ignorant asshat or ignorant dipshit?

  217. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:42

    The problem is, multinationalshippingcompany (which gives me a hefty employee discount) would work fine for getting said couch across the country, but they’re not really set up for cross-town delivery.

    i think someone is just chicken to parallel park a plane…

  218. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:42

    How ’bout a harder question: Mona: ignorant asshat or ignorant dipshit?

    why can’t it be both?

  219. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:43

    They’d make me bring it to their main distribution center, which would require renting a truck anyway.

    From a “job creator,” duh.

    Why do you hate ‘merka?!?

  220. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:44

    why can’t it be both?

    See, I told you it was a harder question!

  221. Cerberus said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:49

    How ’bout a harder question: Mona: ignorant asshat or ignorant dipshit?

    why can’t it be both?

    Ignorant assshit?

  222. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:53

    i think someone is just chicken to parallel park a plane…

    True. The hardest part about flying a large airliner is taxiing the thing. The main wheels are 60 feet behind you (on a 757) and the nose gear is 10 feet or so behind you.

    That means you have to taxi past where you want to be and then make a big square turn like a city bus or an 18-wheeler.

  223. Another Kiwi said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:53

    he’s sired a son and a daughter, so i guess he’s a wash… Me too, sigh! Plus there’s those poems I wrote.

  224. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:54

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that pregnancies are less likely in cases of rape, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me

    Evidence schmevidence, nothing matters as much as ex culo opinion of what SHOULD be true.

  225. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:56

    more mona:

    Kevin Williamson notes in the current National Review that high-status men have more male children than ordinary men. Is it “stupid” to believe that this phenomenon is real?

    yes

  226. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:56

    Plus there’s those poems I wrote.

    I cook, clean, bake and I have a cat. Every once in a while I have to go shoot a large gun or tear apart a car engine to keep the “yin” and “yang” in balance.

  227. Another Kiwi said,

    August 23, 2012 at 22:58

    It doesn’t seem out if the realm of possibility that I can be trapped inside a cabin with Catherine Zeta Jones with only Chocolate body paint to eat.
    *opens eyes* Damn!

  228. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:03

    Hey Mona, Stephen Colbert called, he wants to talk to you about something called “truthiness” — wanna take the call?

  229. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:10

    Really? Is it such an outlandish idea? I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that pregnancies are less likely in cases of rape, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
    Mona wins the funniest comment on SN today! The week, also and too and such as.

    Mona, you a stupid ho.

  230. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:14

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that in India there live men with the head of a dog, whose clothing is the skin of wild beasts and who speak no language but bark like dogs, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

  231. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:15

    It appears that there’s no real evidence that pregnancies can happen by swallowing, but it doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

  232. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:16

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that the planets move across the night sky because they are attached to invisible concentric shells that are pushed around by angels, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

  233. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:21

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence that Aristotle was Belgian, or that the central message of Buddhism is “Every man for himself,” or that the London Underground is a political movement, but it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me.

  234. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:22

    Is it such an outlandish idea?

    Yes, it’s outlandish, especially when it’s a) used as the basis for legislation, and b) because the logical combination of “legitimate means entirely forced and involuntary” plus “legitimate means you can’t get pregnant” results in “pregnant victims of rape must have wanted/enjoyed it, at least a little bit.”

    More than outlandish. Entirely fucking offensive, vile, and misogynistic.

  235. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:27

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence to suggest that the Earth is flat, but it doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility.

  236. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:28

    mona is taking a shellacking over there in the comments…but there is this scary person there:

    We must not allow the liberal media to derail Akin. Everyone knows that a
    woman can control when she gets pregnant. Don’t be fooled by the pseudo
    science of the godless socialists that say otherwise. This is all part
    of a leftist conspiracy! If a woman gets pregnant, then its her and
    God’s will and certainly not rape.

    *shudder*

    this one is my fave:

    Just what conservatism needed–an ignorant cutesy column attempting to defend Akin for no particular reason except that what he said didn’t sound stupid to the science-challenged Mona Charen. Help.

  237. tsam said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:35

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence to suggest that object under extreme stress doesn’t accelerate at a velocity proportional to the force applied and inversely proportional to its mass, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

  238. tigris said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:36

    If a woman gets pregnant, then its her and
    God’s will and certainly not rape.

    See, he’s pro-choice! It’s just that you made your choice by getting raped.

  239. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:38

    Turning the nascent meme on its head:

    “I looked it up and there’s plenty of evidence to support the conclusion that the Tea Party are astroturfed corporate thralls made up of the racist heirs of the John Birch Society but apparently that suggestion is outside the realm of possibility.”

  240. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:39

    If a woman gets pregnant, then its her and God’s will and certainly not rape.

    Imma picking ‘Poe’. Suspicion turns to Substance McG.

  241. Major Kong said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:40

    I looked it up, and it appears that there is no evidence to suggest that object under extreme stress doesn’t accelerate at a velocity proportional to the force applied and inversely proportional to its mass, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

    Perhaps we could test this theory with a certain conservative columnist and a trebuchet.

  242. bughunter said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:40

    “I looked it up and it appears that there’s abundant evidence that Randian Libertarians are no more than sociopathic fascists, but apparently that’s outside the realm of possibility.”

  243. bbkf said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:44

    Imma picking ‘Poe’. Suspicion turns to Substance McG.

    the username is j.hubert and it has had a nro account for 4 weeks and 1 day…saaaaay…didn’t mr. mcg *take a trip* about four weeks ago?

  244. Smut Clyde said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:45

    All these Charenisms sound better if you imagine* them coming out of the mouth of Thomas Aquinas or some other 13th-century philosopher.

    * For values of ‘imagine’ that include ‘photoshop’.

  245. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:46

    Suspicion turns to Substance McG.

    Nonsense. I was attending to my studies.

  246. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 23, 2012 at 23:55

    The fact is that Mitt Romney has more testosterown in his pinky finger than Obama has in his entire body. Manly men produce children of the maskuline sex which Obama is incapable of doing. When Romney is President there will be no more slawter of unborn children of the male perswaysion

  247. Substance McGravitas said,

    August 24, 2012 at 0:04

    This is great.

  248. tsam said,

    August 24, 2012 at 0:09

    He should stay out of O’Keefe’s lane.

  249. Cerberus said,

    August 24, 2012 at 0:15

    Yeah, the Charen post definitely just got added to my queue. In the meantime, though, enjoy this deja-vu inducing post.

  250. Smut Clyde said,

    August 24, 2012 at 1:41

    Tit sonna snake.
    Whaddya mean, wrong thread?

  251. mr. mike said,

    August 24, 2012 at 5:57

    Back to the shorter…

    “Romney should be President because his only offspring are male, unlike that fag Obama who has sperm that smells like Chanel No. 5 and can only sire daughters.”

    This is it: proof the “conservative” talking heads have NOTHING – no ideas, no real plans, no true understanding of American government. So they substitute with neo-feudalist insults about which candidate has more male children.

    Hopefully this is it, the historical moment where “conservatism” finally throws in the towel because it is a spent force.

  252. owlbear1 said,

    August 24, 2012 at 11:41

    Pulled stomach muscles, folks…

    Assholes!

  253. Childrens Bicycles » Pryme Evil Pro Full Face Helmet Youth Small said,

    August 27, 2012 at 12:32

    [...] Sadly, No! » What War on Women? [...]

  254. Sadly, No! » But Don’t You Dare Call Her Stupid! said,

    August 27, 2012 at 21:16

    [...] Todd Akin’s nationally mocked bout of pure ignorance, she’s going to do the same to Kevin Williamson’s bizarre paean to 15th century beliefs on the production of male [...]

  255. Sadly, No! » Pay No Attention to the Future Bible School Dropouts Behind the Curtain said,

    October 21, 2012 at 23:04

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  256. Sadly, No! » Coming Back Down to Earth said,

    September 1, 2013 at 3:04

    […] who was the author of the possibly greatest bit of biological ignorance on the site with his “manly sperm produces male children, while girly sperm produces girls” bit of fuckwittery during the election season (and no, I’m never going to let you live that […]

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