Sorry for Bein’ So Quiet
Posted on August 25th, 2006 by Brad
Hey kids, sorry for being so quiet of late. Thanks to Gavin for pickin’ up the slack.
Basically, my relative silence boils down to two things:
1.) I’m in between jobs right now, which is stressful.
2.) The Red Sox pulled one of their patented collapses last weekend, which made me depressed.
So that’s that. I should be back to normal posting duties relatively soon.
is this where someone makes the obligatory Steel Reserve joke? Pinko Punko, I am looking in your direction…
whenever you’re finished with the heavy drinking and staying out until all hours of the night.
You never call, you almost never write… who do you think you are? seb??
Awwwww y’all is sweet.
And for the record, I will be drinking Rogue Dead Guy Ale tonight when I watch the Panthers and the Dolphins… hey, speaking of, it’s on right now!!1!
PROBLEM:
Brad was driven to depressive silence over the ineffably pitiable performance of the Sox.
SOLUTION:
Brad should stop giving a shit about sports in general and basebaru in particular. Sports of any variety are just Dungeons and Dragons for outdoor kids.
Man, if my team spent a jillion dollars on a basically .500 roster, I’d be depressed too.
Sports of any variety are just Dungeons and Dragons for outdoor kids.
Yep. But if I wasn’t into sports, I’d be into D&D. So it’s pick your poison. I choose the less shameful hobby.
That is a good point. There really is no function difference between dressing up like a wizard and running around in the woods pretending to cast spells and dressing up in the team uniform and sitting in the stands drinking beer.
Oh, wait. Beer. There’s the difference.
Are you saying sports fans don’t drink?
You know, if you were a Mets fan, collapses wouldn’t be a problem (mostly because you have to be consistently good to suffer collapses.)
Seriously, though, the Sox fan has less to complain about than even the Skanks fan does. Even though the Sox spend a lot, they still spend about 90 million less than the Skanks, and have a recent world title to show for their money, a better ballpark, smarter and classier fans (that’s right, I’m talking about Boston), cooler uniforms, an owner who isn’t a total dick, a Shortstop and 3rd base combo who don’t act like a recently broken-up middle school couple, etc. etc.)
I was hoping that this would be the year that the 200 million dollar team missed the playoffs, but even if that doesn’t happen, I do take the consolation that they don’t have the pitching to make it very far.
But the season isn’t over yet, and if the Sox can get hot again (llike they were when the Mets went to Fenway in July) hopefully they can make a run and get a chance to remind the Skanks what 04 was like.
C’mon, these are the Red Sox. Think Haley’s Comet, think 1919, and get used to it.
Unless Varitek comes back. Then y’all are gonna see a show.
“a Shortstop and 3rd base combo who don’t act like a recently broken-up middle school couple,”
bwah hah hah hah
Brad! Thank god! I was afraid this loser would have to go without mocking:
http://pandagon.net/2006/08/24/utah-state-senator-brown-v-board-of-ed-was-wrong/
And I don’t drink beer when playing D&D: it’s hard liquor all the way, baby!
There really is no function[al] difference between dressing up like a wizard and running around in the woods pretending to cast spells and dressing up in the team uniform and sitting in the stands drinking beer.
But the wizard-players are smarter about moving into the sitting-down version of their hearts’ delight as they get older. This is a boon for the players’ significant others, who are spared many hours of hand-holding in the ER, not to mention having to share space with someone who’s just undergone ACL surgery. Also, playing GURPs or MAGIC can be socially stigmatizing for those past the age of puberty, but far too many rotisserie sports fans, like George Will, are obnoxious wingnuts. At least gamer wingnuts just sit and sulk when you shoot down their ridiculous theories – sports wingnuts feel compelled to threaten violence, and 10 minutes later they’re back in the ER, having spoiled the evening for everyone else.
Yep. But if I wasn’t into sports, I’d be into D&D. So it’s pick your poison. I choose the less shameful hobby.
Uh-huh. And what’s the D&D equivalent of hanging half-way out a moving car, shirtless and shit-faced, hollering “WOooooOOooo, go [Insert Your Team Here]!” and then vomitting all down the side of your wife/girlfriend. For the third time that day. And the game hasn’t even started. Son, you need to come to Athens on a game day. The gamers are weird – and they are weird – but they at least don’t bother nobody.
Gamers *are* weird.
But they aren’t LARPers, now, are they?
Finally, someone even the seventh level Elven Ranger can make fun of.
Jillian,
I know a dude that subsidizes the better part of his income making chainmail costumes for LARPers. There’s a whole wad of ’em in and around the Athens-Atlanta area, and they go off every now and then to one of the state forrests to run around and smack each other with plastic swords for the weekend. I went once. They put a lot of thought into that whole deal, is all I’m gonna say.
A friend of mine is into S&M and all sorts of things I’d rather she not tell me about, and she swears by gamer boys (and, occasionally, girls). She says they’re the only social group that, front to back, are up for pretty much anything, if you know what I’m talking about and I think you do. I admit, I’ve dated a couple gamer girls and there are some pleasent memories in that.
Teh Red Sox is less shameful than D&D? Okay, Brad, whatever you say. I’m sure you’ll be finding out (again) soon enough, work can be a reason for relative silence. If it was fun, they wouldn’t call it work, eh?
P.S. Remember to thank America!
P.P.S. shrieking harpy!
I wish I could say with a clean conscience that I’ve never LARPed.
But then again, what fun is a clean conscience?
And from what I’ve seen, your friend is right about teh gamers.
I’ll say nothing else on the topic, for fear of tarnshing my newly minted schoolma’armish charm…after all, I’ve only been teaching for two weeks now, and I don’t want to lose that mystique just yet.
Matt T, do we know each other? You’re in my town.
i heart gamers. Good observations. I recall a festival involving a blond dressed in gold body paint given away as a trophy. Say what you want, that crowd knows how to eat, and they know how to boff. And something about it is vaguely creepy to me.
TRex,
Might. It’s a smaller world all the time. I don’t get around much anymore, but I do know a whole lot of folks in the local music scene, usually the ones that’ve been around a bit longer.
Me neither. Shoot me an email, though at df530 at bellsouth dot net. We should get a cuppa Joe or something sometime.
The Red Sox pulled one of their patented collapses last weekend
Don’t worry, they might as well take this season off anyway because there’s no stopping the juggernaut that is the DETROIT TIGERS!!! Yeeeaaah baby!
Since everybody is getting all buddy buddy with the socially stigmatized hobbies:
I have LARPed but I only lasted one semester.
I am currently the, sigh, Dungeon Master for my little group.
I am finally getting an internet connection in my apartment in order to join my diaspora of friends on, sigh, World of fucking Warcraft.
I have insured my collection of Warhammer armies. I have spent the annual GDP of Liberia on all those little fuckers and I am not going to be left out in the cold if my building burns to the ground.
I may have indentified several reasons for the singularity of my dating life.
Chuckles, if ya have to resort to date-rape to get any from your good right (or left–be bihandual!) hand, then ya know you’ve got a problem. But, here’s a hint–get it drunk first.
And, Brad, I just heard a bit on the local newsradio that I haven’t been able to locate an article online to link to, but, evidently Boston is the #4 most drunken town in teh USA! Woo! Ya handily beat Chicago (#6). #1 was Milwaukee, and I’ve forgotten #2 and #3 (which is why I was trying to find the article). So, cheers to you, sir!
Yeah, last weekend was rough. Not even replaying the 2004 ALCS in my head has been able to dispel the funk, and that normally works like a charm. But I just watched Papelbon get the save tonight, and the Yankees lost, so hope springs eternal.
Why must you eat my comments haloscan? Anyway, yada yada Online Gaming and College Football fan, read worst both both world, Go Gators!
I missed this discussion-I was at the giants-reds game at att park. Single malt scotch at acme chop house, then good seats in the club level. Giants kicked ass for three innings, and then were mysteriously replaced by little leaguers. Went on to lose. We had a lot of fun, decent food, good people around us in the stands.
I’ve never played any of those games. Don’t even know what LARP is, though I suspect its something something role playing. The only game I every played was duke nukem back in about ’96, and I needed god mode to finish it. So beyond the barest stereotypes I got nothing. But like all good geeks of my generation, I have spent many hours with ham radios and making telescopes, so I think I understand (and can relate positively to) the ethos….
mikey
That collapse wasn’t merely classic; it was epic. And so much fun to watch.
Dorothy, sloe gin and peach schnapps don’t count as hard liquor.
Notorious P.A.T.:
As much as I would like to join you in your enthusiasm, please don’t jinx the Motor City Kitties. The Chisox are making their run and the Yankees are looking really good right now. We need to keep the dream alive.
Even when not writing you inspire me Brad. Yesterday I got my chance to call a state senator an unequivocal spaghetti-pusher right to his face. It just popped out, I laughed and laughed, then reigned it in. Still, good times.
Be well!
Marq, here‘s your drunken city listing. It’s easy to see why you’d forget #2 and 3 (Minneapolis/St. Paul and Columbus, Ohio, respectively) Whodathunkit?
Thanx, pumkinsmom! No wonder I didn’t find that–I was using Gizgoogle, an’ it was on Yayhoo! This bit struck me as hilarious:
Ohhh noes! There’s no drinking at teh convention center, or teh ballpark! That’s unpossible!
Brad,
STOP rooting for the Red Sox immediately! Seriously! You will never regret it.
I’ve never played any of those games. Don’t even know what LARP is, though I suspect its something something role playing. The only game I every played was duke nukem back in about ‘96, and I needed god mode to finish it. So beyond the barest stereotypes I got nothing. But like all good geeks of my generation, I have spent many hours with ham radios and making telescopes, so I think I understand (and can relate positively to) the ethos….
mikey
d00d, you are teh n00b! I beat Duke Nukem 3d without GodMode on Hard! I am teh l33t haxx0rz!
This time the holocaust will be black.
Austrian Sigmund Freud is known as the father of psychoanalysis yet people have (mental) health problems because of their disfavor, illustrating the preditory purpose of this discipline, this individual.
These people.
Of course Hitler was Austrian. Glock, maker of the semi-automatic gun favored by the most ruthless of black street gangs, the Bloods and the Crips, is Austrian.
RedBull Energy drink, Buwdeiser both Austrian.
The Holocaust was foreshadowing, yet another example of the Jews sacrificing to help the disfavored::::
1. 1492 exodus from Spain.
2. Spread throughout Europe as clue to heathen Christians worshipping a false god.
3. “Quasi-Holocaust claim” contradicting boss.
The Apocalypse (or an Apocalyptic event) will be initiated by an Austrian. When the national referendum to allow foreign-born individuals to run for president is introduced I recommend you DEFY and vote NO!! In the years prior to this vote the gods will send POWERFUL clues suggesting the IMPORTANCE OF DEFIANCE.
It will be the Koreans. There may not even be any invasion:::They gods will scapegoat them telepathically.
Black people like the ones who terrorized Korean businesses during the 1992 riots in California will be executed. I have personal reinforcing evidence.
This time the holocaust will be black.
Italy’s boot is a clue showing the god’s intent with the Romans.
Oshkosh. Oshkosh is a clue just as Lake Michigan and Green Bay are clues::::
Oshkosh is the ejaculate clue:::Life springs forth from this city.
Expect your traditional Second Coming of Christ to come from Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Consistant with the possibility of matrilinial lineage it may be the mother’s family from the Lake Winnebago area fulfilling some “Manifest Destiny” bullshit theater.
1. Corporate sourcing violently punished::::
They suggest the whole “sourcing” era, where it is positioned that their brain-less clones obtained product from China and other Asian countries for the lowest possible price, will be punished violently if the gods elect to employ the “Chinese invasion” script.
One of the reasons it was so important to get out before 1980 or before the end of each 20-year war-revelry cycle (1960, 1980, 2000, 2020, etc).
2. Deception of Southern rednecks to blame for Republican control:::::
Republicans, party of preditory disfavored, keep guns available. Easy gun availablility is an “open door” for the gods, a tool used to prey on the disfavored.
Republicans, party of preditory disfavored, gave you the Clinton impeachment theater 1998.
Republican loyalty is why noone cares that rednecks are set up for the slaughter.
The Simpsons offered many clues to the disfavored, not the least of which the frequent references to “pack/mob mentality”.
This isn’t about reals and clones. This is about the brains and the brain-less.
This is the key which unlocks the god’s puzzle.
Kosher is a favor bestowed upon the Jews. The South eats LOTS of pork and there is a oyster bar on every corner.
It’s kinda like liquor stores in the ghetto. This is the kind of irony the gods laugh about:::::
gods got rid of the retarded woman who lived across the street, prior to the fall of 2006 so your handiwork wouldn’t stare you in the face while there was so much attention.
gods took similar evansive manuvers w/ bi-racial.
Bill Clinton wasn’t impeached because he lied.
Bill Clinton wasn’t impeached because he was orally copulated.
Bill Clinton was impeached because it was 1998.
HOW TO PRAY:::1. I’m sorry for what I’ve done wrong. 2. I don’t want to sccumb to temptation and make any more mistakes. 3. I want to fix my problems. 4. Please don’t hurt me.
We will ALL be held to the responsibilities entrusted to us, no matter what temptations contradict this.
If you don’t do the right thing you’re going to do the wrong thing, and the right thing to do is to ACTIVELY fix your problems and pursue the favor of the gods.
If you’re not working hard to fix your problems, if you don’t creatively work to get the hell off Earth then you will be consumed by it, by the reverse positioning-institutions they instilled as temptations::::popular culture, democracy, materialism.