Everyone Pile On Jackie!

About five million blogs including TBogg and World O’ Crap have already driven bulldozers over Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey, the startlingly mediocre libertarian chick with too many names who posted this paen to her own wonderfulness. But if we can just elbow in here for a moment…

I am a very high-quality woman. I know that sounds arrogant, but let’s consider the facts:
I’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not — and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)

Fig.1: Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey:


Fig.2: Everyone’s best girl, Marie Jon’:


Jackie-Mackie-Po-Passey has a lot of catching up to do. We suggest a That Girl flip-do and a hubba-hubba sweater.


Comments: 69


Hey, say what you want. She’s hot as hell.


She looks like Molly Shannon from SNL fame. Molly Shannon with the crazy sense of humor: hot. Fake Molly Shannon with inflated libertarian ego: not.


Damn it, I’m from Scotland. She doesn’t have fleece, which is a definite yes in her favour.

Unless she’s got trotters, I’m in.


By her logic, her quality has a shelf-life, cause sooner or later, she won’t be hot anymore.


Wow. I just read the links.
Crazy bitch is trying to creat genetic super-babies the old-fashioned way.
Downsides to such a “high-quality” woman? Well, I”m just guessing from here: the OCD with making lists, and the constant comparing herself to others, probably self-esteem issues through the roof, I would wager using sex as a substitute for actual intimacy and trust, rediculiously competative, high chance of rampent paranoia and insecurity of losing mate to a “higher-quality” rival.
Last of all, nasty habit of turning complex and difficult task of finding and selecting life parter into a business proposition.
Just a guess, though.


Well, I clicked into her home page and thence to her photo galleries.

It’s a no-go, boys.

If I had to put my finger on the biggest problem, I’d say it was the receding hairline.


Look. Not to offend. And I don’t want to be crude. Really I don’t. But can I just say? “I’d Hit Dat”…



The fact is that I’d tap that ass, yo.

chimpy mcflightsuit

I really like her tittyballs, i can almost see em in that shot. In fact, im having this picture form in my mind right now, Jacqueline vs Marie, no holds barred wraslin in the jello. Tell me that doesn’t do it for ya.


She doesn’t realize that most guys have only one requirement for a potential mate. I’ll share my list

-Has vagina.

That could explain her perceived popularity.


jac-mac-pa-pa…..sadly, no.


re: your Human Events post, below… a tidbit, not that you didn’t know. From Coulter’s website:

Coulter is the legal correspondent for Human Events

Anyone want to weep gently with me?

As for Jackie, well… ‘control freak’ comes to mind… But good luck to her, eh?

Hey, y’know who else had a personal website? Jeff Gannon. What…?? I’m just sayin…


Apparently, she turned her husband gay. Sadly, yes.

Notorious P.A.T.

Jackie, is nowhere near, as hot as, Marie Jon’, and, Marie doesn’t even, try.


I actually clicked over to her blog. What the bloody heck is “positive expectation gambling”, anyway? It can’t just be another name for “starting one’s own pyramid scheme, can it?


she had me up until that last bullet point.


I actually clicked over to her blog. What the bloody heck is “positive expectation gambling”, anyway? It can’t just be another name for “starting one’s own pyramid scheme”, can it?


When you look up the word “cunt” in the dictionary, you see a picture of this dried-up old hag.


I’m gonna say that this girl is probably scoring very high on the Hot or Not meter.


Hey, it’s Marty McFly’s mom!


She was crazy hot, Fiver. Dumb, but hot.


Boys, boys. Look at other pictures of the lass in question. Really.

(Marie Jon’, tho, is, cute, as, a, bug.)


Boys, boys. Look at other pictures of the lass in question. Really.

That’s weird. I’m usually a sucker for a chick in glasses. But her pictures with glasses were actually worse. I’m serious, specs are a real turn on for me, but boy, not on her.


I scanned through her blog and can only conclude it’s a joke. Seriously, this babe’s profession is third world offshore gambling establishments, advertising for travelling lover companions via her blog, chatting with email stalkers to determine if their qualities meet her standards, and debating the pros and cons of adopting 4 year olds from China with her new boyfriend – the poker playa – because she’s deathly afraid of pregnancy ruining her figure. Combine all of this with numerous photos of her with weird people at conventions and social events that include what looks like a norwegian trekkie convention and the general emptiness of her mind, and what have you got? A spoof.


She reminds me of a girl I went to college with, constantly telling folks she was “out of your league”. She never could figure out why folks thought she was, well, a bitch. Seriously. If the convorsation drifted towards anything to do with romance, dating, sex, what have you, she’d stop it and say “Just so you know, I like my men a little more [whatever quality you lacked, be it ambition, physical attractiveness, financial solvency].” Then she’d make this little face, like a receptionist at a car rental place telling you the last car with a CD player was just driven off the lot, and say “Sorry”. She tried it on me once – spurred by my mention of having to pick up my then-girlfriend at the airport the next day – and I told her, “Okay. Guess I’ll have to cry myself to sleep tonight.” SHE BELIEVED ME!

I always wondered what happened to that girl. The other thing that’s funny about this Jackie chick – apart from her four names, which is always funny – is that for as hot and desirable and superior as she seems to be, she can’t get a decent date to save her life.


Apparently, she turned her husband gay. Sadly, yes

1. That was as inevitible as the sun rising every morning, wasn’t it?
2. He spells his name BriEn. Pretentious, moi?
3. I clicked on the link to check out if he was hot or not, and after my sight returned after being seared by her color scheme, I found that every single link to his blog is broken.

Shorter JMPP: Heh heh heh heh heh he said pee pee heh heh heh heh heh. I’m a fruit fly and I can’t code for shit.


This woman is Libertarian, therefore she is marked as TEH BAD PEOPLE! and everyone should launch personal attacks against her?

Congratulations, you are the flipside of Conservatives who demonize Liberals, without knowing it.


She’s such a great catch she feels the need to brag about it through a point-form list. Unfortunately, some of her claims need to be clarified a bit before you judge her too harshly. Luckily, I am here to perform that feat:

I am a very high-quality woman. I know that sounds arrogant, but let’s consider the facts: I’m slim (whereas 62% of American women age 20 to 74 are overweight)

Translation: I am highly competitive – and I’ll cut your penis off if I see you looking at other women.

I’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not — and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)

Translation: I am so competitive that I post pictures of myself on a site frequented by horny high school guys and self-conscious high school girls – and I’ll cut your penis off if I see you looking at other women.

I’m relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult women are over 30 years old)

Translation: My youth is a selling point, so let the bidding begin before I go to seed.

I’m intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when I was a child, which is 3 standard deviations above the mean — higher than 99.85% of the population. Even if I’ve gotten dumber as I’ve aged I’m probably still at least a 130, which is higher than 97.5% of the population.)

Translation: Since I don’t have a penis, I cannot have penis envy; but IQ envy is a pretty good fallback.

I wish I had a penis.

I’m educated (whereas 77% of American women do not have bachelor’s degrees)

Translation: If there are no good movies playing this weekend, we can sit at the park and people-watch. I’ll make fun of all the woman who aren’t as good as me, but if you so much as look at one of them, I’ll cut off your penis.

I have my financial shit together (no debt, perfect credit history, 6+ months living expenses saved, adequate insurance, self employed)

Translation: If you think I’m hot now, just wait ‘til I’m indicted for the semi-legal gambling scheme I openly brag about running: I’ll be fuckin’ radioactive then!

I have a strong libido and love having sex (my lover *never* has to beg, unless it’s for me to let him get some sleep!)

Translation: I’m highly competitive in situations involving other women – and if I see you looking at one of them, I’ll cut off your penis.

Most of my interests tend to be more popular with men than women: science fiction, libertarianism, blogging, politics, economics, guns, gambling, etc.

Translation: I hate women. Most of them are but puny playthings when compared to me. They may pretend to be interested in all those things I mentioned, but most of them merely toddle where I stride.

Oh, and if I catch you looking at one of them, I’ll cut off your penis.

So, I have a *lot* of choices of men who want to date me. Given that, of course I choose to date only the highest quality men — men who are also fit, attractive, intelligent, educated, financially successful, etc.

Translation: I need strong men – good, fit, healthy men – from whom I may draw blood to remain forever young.

I’m attracted to men from any race and a wide age range (21 to 50 or so) so the pool of men who meet those requirements is quite large, which allows me to add all sorts of additional restrictions if I want — must be atheist, must be libertarian, must not want (more) children, must be financially independent or self-employed and available for frequent world travel, etc.

Translation: I am looking for a guy who can act as a mirror for me: when I look at him, I expect to see an idealized version of myself.

Some people scoffed at the long list of requirements in my personal ad last year. Yet in less than two weeks I found five men who met my listed requirements and wanted a relationship with me.

I test drove them all, but only one managed to survive without his penis.


Bryan, honey, I’m not mocking Jackie because she’s a libertarian. I’m mocking her because she comes across as arrogant, short-sighted, and self-absorbed

It isn’t my fault those traits seem to appear together most often in self-described libertarians.


She wants control and she demands appreciation.

Sad really, her arrogance makes you want to critique her looks item by item in a most analytical and detached way, of course..(nose too sharp, lips too thin, etc.)..but I’ll restrain myself.


I realize that the folks here at S,N! will most likely run a post on this tommorrow.

But I cannot help but point out that Roy Edroso just blew the ol’ perfesser’s “Singularity” out of the water, blog-wise.

heh, indeed.


Quoth Lesley: I scanned through her blog and can only conclude it’s a joke.

I can tell you, from personal experience, that this woman exists. Having not had any recent experience with her, I can neither confirm nor deny that she is “for real.”


I am so sorry that I can’t actually take credit for this line.

“When did Rudolph Guliani get a sex change?”


Y’all are being much too harsh. What about this list of interests? Surely
“Renaissance Woman” isn’t too strong a term for her?

Interests & Hobbies: abortion rights, activism, amateur social work, atheism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), baking, beauty, behavioral genetics, blackjack, blogging, books, cats, Central America, civil liberties, computer role playing games, cooking, Costa Rica, dating, debate, development economics, dieting, dining, Dungeons & Dragons, economics, evolutionary psychology, fan fiction, feminism, fitness, free markets, free speech, free trade, futurism, gambling, gay rights, gun rights, healthy lifestyles, holistic/natural medicine, housekeeping, human biodiversity, individualism, institutional economics, international events and relations, internet, languages, Las Vegas, libertarianism, marijuana legalization, memetics, movies, movies, nudism, nutrition, objectivism, opera, peace, poker, political economy, politics, privacy rights, reading, road trips, science fiction & fantasy, science fiction conventions, self defense training, self improvement, sex, sexual revolution, shooting, small government, social networks, Spanish, subversion, survivalism, technology, theater, trade policy and treaties, transhumanism, travel, Vancouver, video poker, weight lifting, writing

Check out the “nudism” cleverly buried in the middle. Hubba, hubba!

Karatist Preacher

I’m shocked she isn’t a Smith College grad.


One man’s cleverly hidden is another man’s alphabetical order.


Well, there’s always the small chance we could turn Jackie Mackie Po Packey to our side – I’m a left libertarian AND an F&SF bookseller, so if I run into her at a convention I’d be more than happy to take one for the team…

Jerry: Not conversion. You’re thinking conversion?

Elaine: Well it did occur to me.

Jerry: You think you can get him to just change teams? He’s not going to suddenly switch sides. Forget

about it.

Elaine: Why? Is it irrevocable?

Jerry: Because when you join that team it’s not a whim. He likes his team. He’s set with that team.

Elaine: We’ve got a good team.


One man’s cleverly hidden is another man’s alphabetical order.

Ah, yes, the old alphabetical order trick! I must have been absent from school the day they taught us that.


Just her list of favorite authors would be enough to make me lose my erection.


Well, the girl sounds like a mid-level wack job, but I think more wack jobs should be up front about it, so that’s all good.

Really, I just wanted to say (hat tip to #3) that I plan on interjecting the phrase “Damn it, I’m from Scotland.” into random points in conversations, even though I am not, in fact, from Scotland.


“Everyone Pile On Jackie!”

I saw that movie. Weak dialog.


I think Chimpy Mcflightsuit could’ve landed his plane on her forehead.


Seems that there is another picture of Jacquie at Hot or Not that might lead to a more accurate rating. Just saying.


I note that she’s as much as admitted that she did this to draw eyes to her blog. I supopse, as an attention-getter, it’s more benign than Pam’s surgical self-mutilation or Patterico’s cutting.

Anyway, I have an honest question: do lefty sites do this same thing that I see so much from righty sites these days? (1) Post something inflamatory/trollish/outrageous, (2) at one’s leisure over the next few days, weeks, or months, spam meta-posts about the reactions, the blogger’s reactions to the reactions, what other people said about the post, what other people said about the reactions, what other people said in response to the blogger’s reactions to the reactions, and how the whole thing has impacted the blogger’s emotional life.

It just seems like such a cry for help.


Jackie Mackie Paisley Passey?

Cruel Cruel parents.


Look, you say “Giuliani after a sex change,” I say, “Ed Witten in drag.” Can’t we agree to disagree? Plus, favorite author: “….Ayn Rand.” Thank God she’s not looking for a boyfriend at the present time. So there’s still time for him to escape, hide, etc.

Memo to Jackie: “criteria” is plural.


“Jackie Mackie Paisley Passey?

Cruel Cruel parents. ”

Just ask her brother, Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo.


that’s the worst name I ever heard


I don’t think there’s enough vodka in the world …


Wait, come back Joey Joe Joe!


Dammit. Jackie was sooo close to meeting my minimum qualifications in a dating partner. I’m afraid I only consider females whose pictures are rated more attractive than 87% of the women on Hot or Not.

I sincerely hope she will stop stalking me now. But then, what woman isn’t attracted to a superior male specimen such as myself – neurosurgeon/underwear model with a 12-inch penis naturally possessing a “ribbed” deposit of calcium roughly 7/8ths up the shaft, hobbies include: refining superstring theory, building nanobot armies, winning the Tour de France, being a patient lover with boundless energy, maintaining an 0.001% body fat level, tantric massage, wet ops in terror-sponsoring countries, solo ascents of 8,000-meter peaks without oxygen, consulting on decor and pastry-making at five-star hotels, test-piloting US Air Force prototypes, being 6’6″ with rock hard abs and phenomenal buttocks, reigning as the 12-time winner of People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive contest, stealing the 10 most highly guarded pieces of art in the world, then returning them anonymously, penning 36 Hugo Award-winning novels that defy classification as “science fiction” and are stocked in their own private room at all Barnes & Nobles, chairing both the Chicago School of Economics and the Libertarian Party, owning several private islands in the Caribbean and Mergui Archipelago, settling various tribal disputes in Sub-Saharan Africa and leading the Los Angeles Lakers to 10 NBA titles.


Nice try, DA, but any idiot can see your list of hobbies is completely bogus. The giveaway? It’s not in alphabetical order!


To me, she looks like a farm girl. If I were a (straight) guy, I would not find that especially attractive.


She has a “girl next door / childhood friend come romantic interest” appeal about her in that photo.
Not so much in the one from the link. That’s more… “Bride of Frankenstein.” Like, from Young Frankenstein.


Yeah, I liked the main picture but didn’t take into consideration that it’s the best possible photo. Some of the other ones make her look positively heinous.


She’s not attractive. Sorry, Jackie.


Pretty is as pretty does, my mom used to say.


This is great. Kobie starts it off with Comment 1 saying she’s “hot as hell”. Then she takes an unremitting pounding for 55 straight comments. Then Kobie slinks back in, hat in hand, and wants to take it all back.

It’s like the circle of life, man!


I mean, really, could you stand more than 20 minutes with this egomaniac, and then fucking her? I’d hate myself for needing it that bad.

Actually: Phase 1, she thinks you’re great because she needs to think she picks only the highest quality men (the sex is great!). Phase 2, you fall short of her impossible expectations for you–ohmygod, you’re human! Phase 3, you become gay.


I’m so there. As R. McD says, I’m loving it… a meme we all need to launch and then live by: Why You Don’t Deserve Me

I’ve done mine at my far betterest blog and with all due modesty I can say I’m winning this zero sum game of Teh Best Woman Evah.


Is that cleavage or a hole where her heart used to be?


DA, you sound like a really fantastic guy, seriously. Only… well, I don’t date sexy, well-hung novelist underwear model basketball player test pilot neurosurgeon physicist mountain climber pastry chef libertarians who are under 6’7″. I’m sorry, but I really am quite the catch, and a girl has to have standards. Don’t go home and cut yourself, okay, honey?


ACG – Unlike some other men, I can accept that I simply don’t measure up to the standards of an obviously superior homo sapien such as yourself. This will be my last message to you, as you would correctly perceive any further attempt at communication as stalking.

For any other ladies out there who meet my still-high-but-lowered-standards, I forgot to mention that following three years spent training under Buddhist monks in a hidden Tibetan monastery, I am a fully accredited master of the 79 Schools of Hindoo Lovemaking. Also, I have acheived a preternatural level of control over my main genital tendon, which I can use to deliver 3600 steady oscillations per minute, distributed throughout the shaft of my penis, for your immense pleasure.


[…] What does not kill J.M.P.P.’s egomania only makes it stronger: All objective data indicate that I have above-average attractiveness. So I think it’s clear that the “you’re ugly” posts are really being fueled by a combination of sour grapes (not because they necessarily wanted to date me, but because they’ve been rejected by other women and want someone to take it out on) and mediocre people’s need to try to tear down their betters. […]


Demogenes Aristophanes: So, if there’s anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.

ACG: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

DA: Not right now.

ACG: A girl’s gotta have her standards.


Though I be slimmer that 62% of American women and have
not love,

I am become as jiggling cellulite and sagging jowls.

And though I have an actual bachelor’s degree and an IQ that can remove mountains and
have not love,

I am nothing.

And though I do have my financial shit together and have not love,

it profith me nothing.

Love suffereth long and is kind, even to men who want children.

Love envieth not people who think Ayn Rand was a pompous fraud and yet seem to lead happy and fulfilled lives.

Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doeth not behave itself
unseemly — but it ain’t bragging if it’s true, man.

Seeketh not her own, at least not until she decides where her own is going to live.

Is not easily provoked, even by towering arrogance.

Thinketh no evil, not even of fat single mothers.

Bareth all things, though usually not at HotOrNot.com.

Believeth all things, though one hopes not to the extent of interpreting Cylon porn fanfic as literally true.

Hopeth all things, even unto becoming bilingual.

Endureth all things, even Buffy message boards.

Love never fails, unlike Libertarian candidates.


Every lyric in Steely Dan’s “Reelin in the Years” personified.


I love the way her name is a little ditty. Jackie Mackie Paisley Passey. Kissed the boys and made them cry.


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