Privilege of Privileges
Gene Marks understands the streets.
Gene Marks, Fabergé Egg Magazine:
If I Were a Poor Black Kid*
*Worst remix of Fiddler on the Roof ever.
This one’s a long one, so let’s just jump straight into the mangos.
President Obama gave an excellent speech last week in Kansas about inequality in America.
Oh dear, oh dear.
He’s right. The spread between rich and poor has gotten wider over the decades. And the opportunities for the 99% have become harder to realize.
The President’s speech got me thinking. My kids are no smarter than similar kids their age from the inner city. My kids have it much easier than their counterparts from West Philadelphia. The world is not fair to those kids mainly because they had the misfortune of being born two miles away into a more difficult part of the world and with a skin color that makes realizing the opportunities that the President spoke about that much harder. This is a fact. In 2011.
Huh.
Wow, is this a rich overpromoted windbag who understands how the system has failed and been abused. That his own children’s success on the backs of the connections he can give them doesn’t mean that they are better than some black kid simply because of their skin color or where they were raised. I must admit I’m-
I am not a poor black kid. I am a middle aged white guy who comes from a middle class white background. So life was easier for me. But that doesn’t mean that the prospects are impossible for those kids from the inner city. It doesn’t mean that there are no opportunities for them.
Well, it doesn’t mean no opportunities true, but…
Oh god, this is going right where I think isn’t it?
Or that the 1% control the world and the rest of us have to fight over the scraps left behind. I don’t believe that. I believe that everyone in this country has a chance to succeed. Still. In 2011. Even a poor black kid in West Philadelphia.
Why doesn’t he believe this? Is it because some demonstration of evidence that shows a wealth of opportunities that liberals are just ignoring?
No, of course not, it’s simply because he doesn’t want to live in a world where the young, the poor, and especially the young and poor who are also black, female or queer have been fucked over by those who’ve gone before.
Because acknowledging that would make him feel guilty because he lucked into wealth back when anyone not actively on coke could stumble into a middle class or up job and he doesn’t want to face up to the fact that the people who pay his salary to right meaningless fluff for Forbes Magazine have fucked up the system so that practically no kid can get into the system on their merits, and especially not if they’re black and from “the bad part of town”.
Some people when confronted with their privilege change and become better people and others flee under the bed covers until they can wish it away like the Boogeyman. Gene’s been in his bed since at least 2008.
It takes brains. It takes hard work. It takes a little luck. And a little help from others.
Yeah, mostly the last one. You can have all the brains, talent, and passion for hard work in the world, but if you don’t have connections in high places, you ain’t going anywhere.
It takes the ability and the know-how to use the resources that are available. Like technology. As a person who sells and has worked with technology all my life I also know this.
Yes, poor black kids could use “technology”. What types of technology? Why the technology shaped ones, of course! He made his living on technology despite never bothering to gain minimal understanding of what he was selling, so why should that stop anyone else doing the same?
Oh, because no one’s fucking hiring, even if the candidate is good at “technology”? And yeah, completely erasing the impact of poverty and racism on poor black kids is bad enough, but did you have to demonstrate you know less about your “saving grace” (a saving grace you’ve made millions of dollars off of) than the average poor black kid?
And the very best students, even at the worst schools, have more opportunities. Getting good grades is the key to having more options. With good grades you can choose different, better paths.
Not really. Sure, you might have “more” options than the poor black kid with less good grades, unless they became a rapper or a sports star, but colleges tend to penalize coming from a “bad school” on applications even if you’re a star student. And that’s if you can afford to go to college. If you can’t get a full-ride scholarship (which pretty much don’t exist anymore) or aren’t willing to go massively under in student loans (and most of those require someone co-signing on them, which poorer kids will have a harder time finding), you’re not going to college. And even then, most of those don’t cover much of living expenses while you are going to college.
And if you get in, the lack of nepotism will still make that degree next to useless in getting a job that can pay down the debt.
You know, part of the 1% “reforming college entitlements and fighting affirmative action” to make sure no one can climb the ladder after them.
I’d become expert at Google Scholar. I’d visit study sites like SparkNotes and CliffsNotes to help me understand books. I’d watch relevant teachings on Academic Earth, TED and the Khan Academy.
Can you tell I’m in sales? Please let me upsell the kids to hide that I don’t know how to do anything else than sell “technology” to other out of touch rich 50 year olds who trust me because “I’m one of their kind”.
The links mixed with various advertisements for places to buy cheap goods continue for at least 3 paragraphs. I’ve seen many things turned into rabbit’s feet and golden cows in this economy but I’ll admit: “Technology” as an amorphous god being is a new one on me.
The tools are there. The technology is there. And the opportunities there.
Yeah, that’s not how most people are using “opportunities”. We’re more talking about “real” opportunities, a means by which poor black kids can grow up expecting that they’ll be allowed to participate in the economy on a real level, that through hard work, they can climb to the middle class or upper class. We’re not talking about “you can learn more unmarketable skills” that won’t matter because you don’t have “3-5 years of experience” or Daddy calling the HR department and saying “he’s with me”.
Or even a private school. Most private schools I know are filled to the brim with the 1%.
Really? You don’t say? In our bought and sold system of nepotism where being from the “right” (i.e. white) school, knowing the “right” (also white, but now also rich) people, and where the conservatives have been gutting the public school system like a fish, it’s turning out that private school is a good way to get to college.
Yeah, almost like that’s part of the criticism, that the children of the rich are buying their way to opportunity whereas the children of the poor have politicians openly wondering if they should force them to do janitor work now to remind them that that’s all they have to look forward to.
But that would be silly. You know about “technology”!
If I was a poor black kid I would make it my goal to get into one of these schools.
Become a 9 year old hedge fund manager, because your parents damn well won’t be able to afford to send you on their salaries.
Trust me, they want to show diversity. They want to show smiling, smart kids of many different colors and races on their fundraising brochures.
Get a job posing for the stock photos they use for said institutions, because they damn well won’t let you into their schools. Also make defeating our racist system your full-time job as a 9 year old, tricking yourself into white and rich programs and ignoring every cultural message to give up now. Your hope must be at full glow before we crush your dreams. Only then will the Dream Wine we make from them taste sweat enough to sell to our white children.
And once admitted to one of these schools the first person I’d introduce myself to would be the school’s guidance counselor.
This is the point where Gene has given up on the article. He’s already basically used, “have you tried being rich and white or sneaking into rich, white areas” and he’s used his one knowledge base (that there is such a thing as “technology”), but he’s got half a page to go.
Talk to a guidance counselor, they’ll magically make jobs appear and will totally be worth a shit, rather than the shockingly high number of guidance counselors who are more in the business of crushing dreams and getting people to undersell themselves, especially if they are poor or come from poor backgrounds. My partner grew up poor and her guidance counselor told her to give up on college and start part-time applications for retail work, even though she was a 4.0+ student.
If I was a poor black kid I would get technical. I would learn software. I would learn how to write code.
It won’t help you. Most youngsters entering the market know how to code (also “software”, “code” in your “get technical” section? How the hell did you shmooze your way through a technology job for 10+ years? By being a manager? Oh, you did, well that explains it then). And most jobs are looking for that all important “industry experience” in their coders.
Because a poor black kid who gets good grades, has a part time job and becomes proficient with a technical skill will go to college. There is financial aid available. There are programs available. And no matter what he or she majors in that person will have opportunities. They will find jobs in a country of business owners like me who are starved for smart, skilled people. They will succeed.
What is the color of the sky on your planet, cause here on Earth and in America, it’s a dull gray ash from all the air pollution. And there are no fucking jobs for “poor black kids with college educations and skills who get good grades”. I can’t find anything as a graduate school graduate in a “good” major with skin so white it can be used to signal low-flying aircraft, I’ve seen that poor black kid and he’s fucking lucky to have that part time job at McDonalds as a well-educated college graduate.
President Obama was right in his speech last week. The division between rich and poor is a national problem. But the biggest challenge we face isn’t inequality. It’s ignorance.
Poor black kids are lazy for not taking advantage of the few remaining options that we are busy eliminating and magically conjuring jobs out of them. Thus it’s not our fault for hoarding the wealth and blocking new “competitors”, it’s the poor’s fault for not being as ignorant as us and knowing that the remaining “options” are a smoke-screen at best.
Technology can help these kids. But only if the kids want to be helped. Yes, there is much inequality. But the opportunity is still there in this country for those that are smart enough to go for it.
Use the technology!
It has magic space power that give you Super Ultra Mega Job Times Ten. Transforms into Super Happy Mega Blowjob.
Actually yes, use the technology, get a boob job and join the only industry that’s still hiring these days.
Prostitution.
Shorter Gene Marks
Also too, GO CERB!
I know a few school teachers and they tell me that many inner city parents usually have or can afford cheap computers and internet service nowadays.
are you fucking kidding me?
I know a few school teachers and they tell me that many inner city parents usually have or can afford cheap computers and internet service nowadays.
Sounds like an argument for socialized universal internet access to me.
Holy crap: I’m number 5! It’s a first!
i really shouldn’t let my blood pressure skyrocket like this so close to bedtime…
Sounds like an argument for socialized universal internet access to me.
sounds like a good excuse to junk punch this dood…
Doesn’t have to be exclusive options, bbkf.
I’m just enjoying drinking and reading Cerberus.
What did this junk-monkey Marks write? Oh yeah, the alternate shorter was, “I’m white, and that’s alright.”
Who is this idiot really talking to? No poor black kid with a half-lick of sense is going to believe that drivel, even if they stumbled upon a copy of Forbes magazine to read it. Obviously he’s talking to his fellow business overlords, to assuage their guilt with cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance as a coping mechanism? Have I stumbled onto something here?
Naw, they’re just assholes.
It takes brains. It takes hard work. It takes a little luck.
I’d like to turn this over to extremely wealthy and successful superstar and icon of Rugged American Manliness, Harrison Ford, who also has something to say about that “little luck” nugget:
The universe operates far more on random chance than on brains or hard work, I’m sorry to say.
Of course, if you’re a Christian, there’s no such thing as random chance, only God, and if you’re a certain type of Christian, helping the poor might be considered insubordination against The Order Of Things he’s clearly established. So there’s that.
What planet does this guy live on? It sounds a hell of a lot better than this one.
OMG! I’ve been off Balloon Juice for a long time because every thread I tried to read was hijacked by that rabid attack squirrel Mokoko-Kokomo-whatever, but they’ve had a number of posts on this Forbes crap, so I decided to check it out. Our old buddy Troofus is over there, oozing all over every thread like a syphilitic chancre. Mainly he’s fluffing Romney, but on the subject of this piece, apparently 70% of poor people have a VCR, so what are they complaining about?
Wait, Reality Check/Veritas = Troofie? I didn’t know. I guess trolls just all look alike to me.
Any comments on how many poor people own a Betamax, or a laserdisc, or 8-track cassette tape players? Or, y’know, any other obsolete piece of technology like a fucking VCR in 2011?
I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised that the “let them eat cake” of the 21st century is “let them write code” but yeah, fuck right off, Gene Marks.
Wait, Faberge Egg Magazine? Is that really a thing? ‘Cause I AIN’Tagonna look it up.
Yeah, cars really make you rich: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ij07gEn1QY
Yeah, it’s no problem! Poor people can just go to a university and learn how to code software! All of them! Forever. Competing with people around the globe who will work for ten times less, and, um…hey, look over there!
Even figuring this was merely a matter of superhuman willpower and foresight before Kindergarten – how many of those black kids would be able to do that?
If overfunded Uberkiddie Prep teaches 3000 rich kids, and underfundded Unterkiddie Prep there are 3000 poor kids, how will the other 2999 poor kids get ahead?
Or we could just increase the funding of the poor school until they both have equal resources. But that’s crazy talk!
It is amazing how many people who push either “pluck and grit!” or “pluck and grit and vouchers!” are unable to grasp this simple concept of math. Why, it’s almost like vouchers are an excuse for them to continue to want to do nothing without looking like a sociopath.
Wait, Faberge Egg Magazine? Is that really a thing? ‘Cause I AIN’Tagonna look it up.
I b’leeve Steve Forbes’ daddy, Macolm, the well-known gay biker, was a collector of said “eggs.”
jim x-
It’s because to those people the fact that it wouldn’t work for the majority of people is the point.
It comes from developing the sort of “kill or be killed”, “don’t be the sucker”, and “game the other losers” sort of thinking that dysfunctionally capitalist systems like ours demand as part of “survival instincts”.
So of course the system isn’t to cover every one. There needs to be plenty of losers for your gaming of the system to pay off and the only advice they can give is do everything in your power to not be in the sucker class. That’s the sort of “instincts” that “succeed in business”.
This of course leaves them wholly unable to handle things that for the benefit of humanity and our society we can’t have any “losers” in. Things such as health care, schooling, a functional safety net, energy, internet, a state banking system, etc…
And it’s also why they are always trying to sabotage any attempt to help people and view such efforts as an attack against them. Basically, they were X rungs relatively better than Y group, and now by helping Y group, they are only X-Z rungs better, meaning they are going to have to pull out Z levels of tricks to “compete at the same level” so that’s the same as “hurting them”.
That such activities are removing unfair advantages (such as keeping certain groups out of the workforce or blocking them from college or from college benefits) or that not everything needs to be a to-the-death struggle for dominance (such as a safety net, everyone does better and is less stressed when there is a maximum distance you can fall and that’s especially true of middle class people who are the most prone to this sort of thinking) is something that they just can’t grasp.
It’s also why the more improvements we make, the less resistance we’ll get. The less stress and less emphasis on “winning the game” or “else” there is, the less need people have for training themselves to be sociopaths who need to see millions starving in the streets to be assured that they are “ahead” and the more people will recognize win-win solutions possible by collaborating.
And if that sounds like a recipe for increased labor power by unionization, congratulations, you have the exact reason that business has been pushing the major propaganda for everyone to think of every human interaction as a competitive market interaction.
And most jobs are looking for that all important “industry experience” in their coders.
Having worked in the industry, they want the magical 2-5 years of “industry experience”.
Any more than that and they write you off as an “old guy” who probably wants to actually get paid for this stuff.
Shorter White Dude: “In America, you get food to eat / Won’t have to run through the jungle and scuff up your feet / You just sing about Jesus, drink wine all day / It’s great to be an American “
Technology be my guide, teach me code and such and then I too can write nuggets of dung for fellow, rich, whites. “Old Charles” they will say “he’s a good chap, keeps up with the young people. Must drop a million into his firm on Monday, he deserves it”
Yeah, I know all about said eggs. What’s makin’ my gorge rise & gettin’ blood in my eye is that:
A. there’s a whole magazine devoted to them and
2. they actually print political commentary. As if we couldn’t figure out on our own what people like this think about poor folks.
Man, we can’t get the cliffotines rolling fast enough.
I must have been
out sickditching class the day they covered the “cliffotine”.Could someone clue me in? My google searches just link back to here.
Can’t quite remember, but it’s either as we guillotine your greedy ass the guillotine itself is pushed off a cliff, or your head tumbles off the cliff after the guillotining, or you get pushed off a cliff onto the razor-sharp blades of the guillotine. Or something.
Keep googling, it started here. Long thread about how to eliminate enemies. Buncha sadists, really.
Long thread about how to eliminate enemies. Buncha sadists, really.
Looch wanted a cliff, Chris insisted on guillotines for the sake of tradition.
I think tigris coined the word “cliffotine” in a subsequent thread.
tl;dr
Can someone give me the shorter?
Shorter Faberge Egg Guy:
Lazy n*****rs are lazy.
Pup, I left a massage for you in the last thread.
Oh yeah…I read this piece of douchery yesterday. What it comes down to this: for every 1 step a middle class white dude has to take to ensure success, a poor black kid should have to take 57. Hey, them’s the breaks, right?
And the wingnuts love a good rags to riches story because then they can say “Hey, if you’re not successful and/or rich, you just didn’t scramble and claw enough. You just didn’t try hard enough.”
Mary: I’d say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance…
Math is hard, Barbie.
C’mon, guys…we all know what his point of reference is here; he couldn’t have been more obvious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVbQo3IOC_A
Based on this in-depth research, he couldn’t have come to any other conclusion.
Wow, spend a few days in New Orleans, come back and everything has changed. Cerb steps up to the plate, hits to all fields, an actor free thread, even more reasons to go to NOLA more often.
Oh sure. I link to this last thread and nooooobody cares, but NOW you’ll read it! *sobs into lonely blanket*
The problem with black people is that too many of them choose to be born into lower income working class homes and attend crappy schools.
If only each and every black family were a miraculous, inspirational story of victory over all odds, then they could fix themselves.
On the other hand, by definition then I guess that would make the odds pretty small.
Also, in case nobody linked to it yet (I can’t be arsed to look).
If I were a Rich White Motivational Speaker
Yeah, Ta-Nehisi Coates was tweeting like crazy about this article last night. It’s fucking reprehensible.
Also, Cerebus: <3 U, but you're the king of TL;DR. Can you put jumps ("read the rest of this article here") in or something? Putting long stuff on the home page causes older posts to get buried.
Yeah, Ta-Nehisi Coates was tweeting like crazy about this article last night. It’s fucking reprehensible.
Also, Cerebus: [heart] U, but you’re the king of TL;DR. Can you put jumps (“read the rest of this article here”) in or something? Putting long stuff on the home page causes older posts to get buried.
Bah, stupid double posts.
an actor free thread, even more reasons to go to NOLA more often.
Better head down. Try staying there this time.
Shorter Faberge Egg Guy:
Lazy n*****rs are lazy.
Thanks, man.
Well, there’s some progress. At least he didn’t call them shiftless and white-women-raping.
Also, Cerebus: <3 U, but you're the
kingqueen of TL;DR.FTFY
You don’t want to be accused by a troll of fomenting hatred and a hostile posting environment like me.
The universe operates far more on random chance than on brains or hard work, I’m sorry to say.
Of course, if you’re a Christian, there’s no such thing as random chance, only God, and if you’re a certain type of Christian, helping the poor might be considered insubordination against The Order Of Things he’s clearly established. So there’s that. – Chris
Of course, said types of Christians don’t quite pay enough attention to their Bibles. The Bible even tells us that the universe operates more on random chance than brains or hard work:
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. – Ecclesiastes 9:11
And for those who make the “I made my money by hard work … and it’s my money, so the gummint shouldn’t take it away from me”, I offer up —
You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today. – Deuteronomy 8:18-19 (N.B.: this covenant includes various obligations to give to the poor — not encourages acts of charity, but makes it an article of law that you must give).
And of course, about whose money it is (at least for the Christians, although Shammai makes a somewhat similar, although less pithy, point in a Talmudic discussion about what could be described in modern terms as ‘a tax deduction for charitable donations’ being effectively used as a tax dodge/shelter):
“Show me a denarius. Whose portrait and inscription are on it?” “Caesar’s,” they replied. He said to them, “Then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” – Luke 20:24-25
Rotten eggs!
You know (she said pontificatingly), writing articles in Forbes that are nominally addressed to poor black people is like putting ads for Wal-Mart in the New Yorker. Left-wingers sneak into right-wing publications and write to the people they want to convince.
Bloviating bloviator is really just trying to reassure his rich buddies that it’s not their fault poor black kids are drowning, it’s because they’re not go-getters like him and his buddies. Coward.
“Princess Catharine would make an awesome pope,” Tom pontificated.
“We should trad carefully here, there are rotten eggs underfoot” said Tom, creepily.
(SO has all the TS books; they’re racist, sexist, and utterly hilariously horrible. The best one was from the 1980s and called “Kickboxers in Space”, or some such nonsense. Way to jump on the bandwagon, character that nobody care about any more!)
*tread
Dammit.
“Newt is just like Thomas Jefferson” Tom declared.
“I love Prick Erry’s stance on the 10th Amendment” Tom stated.
‘Santorum’s my man” Tom gushed.
“Sorry I’m late, did I miss Ron Paul?’ asked Tm tardily.
“Who the fuck is ‘Huntsman?'” asked Tom moronically.
“Michele Bachmann is hawt for a Presidential candidate,” Tom ejaculated
What? We were all thinking it!
writing articles in Forbes that are nominally addressed to poor black people is like putting ads for Wal-Mart in the New Yorker.
Hey, there are some fashionable homeless folks on the Upper East Side who recommend Forbes as insulation in cold winter months. Some of that *could* get thru via osmosis
You know what is an easier and, in America, a more respectable path to success? Choosing your parents better! Like the half-wit publisher of THE FUCKING MAGAZINE THAT PUBLISHED THIS FUCKING ARTICLE!111!
Nah, Forbes is too glossy, isn’t it? You want newspaper, like the totally unbelievable homeless guy in The Day After Tomorrow suggested to the totally unbelievable rival love interest when the totally unbelievable cold snap happened.
Just like this article. Totally unbelievable.
I would make use of all of the tantric materials available in our public libraries and would learn how to bring her to orgasm by glancing at her
For the record, I did not write this article.
But for the guy who did, if you have to read how, ur doin’ it rong.
lips,
Forbes makes a dynamite barrier between you and the cold wood of a slatted bench. Newspaper does make a better “next to skin” insulator to be sure (cyclists in the Tour de France use them on the mountain stages in the Alps and Pyrennes, it’s that good) but you have to crumple it up for it to be effective inside the clothes.
Thank you for this, Chris. All the Masters of the Universe should have this tattooed on their foreheads. Forcibly. *holds up needle*
Oh, the quote might’ve helped my comment make sense.
BAH! Sense is overrated!
“Romney is not a bomb thrower, metaphorically or literally,” Tom exploded.
This is my favorite article in Sadly, No. You read and rebut, saving us the burden of doing either.
Interestingly, Marks was a dumbass even in his prior life: http://www.ask-kalena.com/rants/dumbass-of-the-week-gene-marks/
What a putz!!!
You read and rebut, saving us the burden of doing either.
Yea, we can skip straight to the food pron or talking about hot TV actresses of the 60s. No need to thnk, just be fed our thoughts.
btw, there really is something sad 9as in sadly, no!) about our poisoned discourse and the rise of the undeserving. If you look at this post, http://www.ask-kalena.com/rants/dumbass-of-the-week-gene-marks/, you will see that Gene Marks was a terrible businessman. And his reward was to rise to the top of that undeserving “meritocracy” of the right wing that brings us Russ Doubt-that, Been there/didn’t accomplish a thing.
And these a-holes are the ones who assure us that the system is fine, nothing to see here.
In a just society, where would David Brooks be? Rush Limbaugh? Newt Gingrich? Sorry, since I am a Democratic Party life long member, but even The Clintons? My grief against the Clintons is that they are personally greedy and will jump into a lake of Excrement to enrich themselves.
Take a look around, kid … if you play your cards right, some day all this could be yours.
My grief against the Clintons is that they are personally greedy and will jump into a lake of Excrement to enrich themselves.
Funny thing, tho: they managed to remember the rest of the country needed to be a little richer too, and accomplished that.
I don’t personally have a problem with people getting rich. I have a problem with more people getting poorer for it.
if you play your cards right, some day all this could be yours.
The sloppy joes? The pizza-vegetables?
Also, Cerebus: <3 U, but you're the
kingqueen of TL;DR.FTFY
You don’t want to be accused by a troll of fomenting hatred and a hostile posting environment like me.
I stand corrected, although I’m pretty sure that is exactly what I want.
‘“Romney is not a bomb thrower, metaphorically or literally,” Tom exploded.’
“Sarah Palin is one hot mama,” Tom exploded.
If I was a poor black kid I would make it my goal to get into one of these schools
oh, imagine the acceptance one would receive there!!! the hijinx and hilarity would ensue as one was accepted into the bosom of the 1% brotherhood…in fact, it could be a teevee series…or eddie murphy movie*!
*i am dumbfounded that my mother went to see ‘the tower heist’ and enjoyed it immensely…this means i will be staying far, far and even farther away from it than previously planned…
Christine O’Donnell has endorsed Mitt Romney, Tom said bewitchingly.
“Michele Bachmann is hawt for a Presidential candidate,” Tom ejaculated
“michele bachmann has some pretty crazy eyes,” tom said leerily…
oh, imagine the acceptance one would receive there!!! the hijinx and hilarity would ensue as one was accepted into the bosom of the 1% brotherhood
“Charles, would you please escort the ni–…classmate…away from the limo door?”
“Christine O’Donnell gives me a boner,” Tom said rigidly.
Mainly he’s fluffing Romney, but on the subject of this piece, apparently 70% of poor people have a VCR, so what are they complaining about?
also, most of them have refrigerators AND microwaves…i mean really, the luxury never ends for these people does it?!?!?
And yeah, learn coding, kid, ’cause writing code is so freakin ‘lucrative. Sheesh, never mind, you might as well go after the janitor position: at least you’ll get some exercise (until you age out of the system).
Learn coding: ZIP+Four is what gets the mail through!
also, most of them have refrigerators AND microwaves…i mean really, the luxury never ends for these people does it?!?!?
LOOXURY!
We used ta watch our hot plates for entertainment!
Come on, you guys… It’s not poverty until you have a distended belly from starvation and there are flies buzzing about your eyes. Geesh!
That’s their favorite kind of poverty. Ignore it for a few weeks and it goes away by itself!
Shorter Cerberus (please!): “Please don’t tell I can do well if I work hard and try, because I know that’s just not true, no matter what conservatives say.”
It’s not poverty until you have a distended belly from starvation and there are flies buzzing about your eyes. Geesh!
Mini__B has a distended belly from overeating and parents buzzing around his POOP!
That’s their favorite kind of poverty. Ignore it for a few weeks and it goes away by itself!
“We’ll pray for a liberal to hold a fund raising telethon or throw a concert for them”
Former white poor kid here, & yeah, got a little throw-up in my mouth from this one.
“Sure, it’s much harder to get work now that we sent those millions of jobs overseas forever … but that just means that now you have to try SUPER-HARD! Oh, by the way, we’ve got another 5-10 million jobs due to ship to Pakistan & China by 2020, so I guess all you little urchins better consider just taking food & a sleeping-bag with you & LIVING in the library so you can maybe learn how to try EXTRA-SUPER-DUPER-HARD for whatever crumbs we leave you. Good luck, kids!”
If the strongest asset you have is dumb luck, it’s a tell that the game is rigged against you before you even pick up your cards.
I guess changing the rules of that game to make it less crooked would be SOCIALISM?
Nice to see he got tons of negative comments – & in Forbes, no less!
PS: The obvious impact of automation on employment notwithstanding, I think the techno-fetish-as-panacea schtick has been going on for quite a while … & probably a major subtext of the whole futurist Sexbot/Singularity/MechaGlennReynolds subculture is “once Teh Holy Mainframe grants us all immortality & infinite free energy, my having been a self-centered bourgeois elitist shitheel all my life won’t matter any more … so I can keep right on being a fuck-you-I-got-mine dickhead with zero guilt or doubts. NEENER NEENER NEENER.”
Nice to see he got tons of negative comments – & in Forbes, no less!
oh, geez! don’t suggest comments to me! i’m still fighting the urge to go back over and check out the wingnuts from that palin link (or should i say ‘stink’) yestiddy…the crazy over there is like a car accident you can’t look away from!
Gene popped up in comments to say this:
So he really wants America to be Lake Woebegone, where everyone is above average…
I’d bother to register and comment on this tripe, but why? He’s clearly in deep denial about bell curves and acceptances and what the consequences of his Pollyana attitude brings.
Nice to see he got tons of negative comments – & in Forbes, no less!
I’m not leaving the boat, but I have to wonder – is he getting negative comments for being an idiot or is it because he said “President Obama gave an excellent speech last week in Kansas about inequality in America”?
one of the rabid palin comments is relevant to this thread, however…one of them actually said something such as, ‘i’m glad she’s a millionaire! god has blessed her hard work and faith! and i hope he blesses her with BILLIONS of dollars!!!!11111
which led me to a realization…after my present faith crisis being attributed to evil non-believers, reading this comment caused reality to come to a screeeching halt in this not-too-quick brain of mine:
it is not atheists who have turned me off from god, it’s the christians! i mean, really…i’ve seen my church torn apart and turned into a dying congregation over carpet in the sanctuary…the church in town which has the largest congregation (not catholic) has also lost a LOT of members because of elca’s decision to allow gay clergy (like a gay minister is going to want to come to bum-fuck nowhere in minnesota anyway). that same church keeps track of how many times you take communion in a year…and publishes your giving. my in-laws are missouri synod lutheran which means if you do not belong to that specific congregation, you cannot take communion unless you’ve jumped through the necessary hoops with the pastor prior to communion…and women have no voice in church matters. my board president is a staunch baptist…just the other day he publicly denounced facebook as evil…yet he gambles. wtf? you are all probably familiar with the pettiness of individual churches, so i won’t continue.
however, the money comment really brought it home for me…so god ‘blesses’ us with money? what are his criteria? because apparently being a hypocritical wingnut grifter is acceptable…and i don’t wanna be that…so really, what is there to believe in?
In “The Corner,” David Simon has a passage where he deals sarcastically with just this sort of argument. Yes, if we grew up in a Baltimore ghetto, of course we would have done all our homework, gotten good grades and risen above our circumstances, because, in Simon’s closing line: “We were not born to be niggers.”
my in-laws are missouri synod lutheran which means if you do not belong to that specific congregation, you cannot take communion unless you’ve jumped through the necessary hoops with the pastor prior to communion…and women have no voice in church matters.
Wow. You guys are tough out there. The NY synod has had women presidents! And if any pastor told me I couldn’t take communion, I’d look him in the eye and recite the entire frikkin’ Nicene Creed in Latin. Backwards.
one of the rabid palin comments is relevant to this thread, however…one of them actually said something such as, ‘i’m glad she’s a millionaire! god has blessed her hard work and faith! and i hope he blesses her with BILLIONS of dollars!!
God blessed her with thousands of suckers who contributed to her nonexistent presidential campaign. I wonder how long it’s going to take the Palin clan to blow through all that cash. Now that she can never again credibly pretend to be running, and since she alienated Roger Ailes by snubbing Fox News in announcing her decision, her income has dried up.
BBKF–sounds like you’ve been caught in a nasty gust of reality, church-wise. I can recommend a number of good websites to help get your feet back on solid ground. I would start with Greta Christina. She actually has a good piece up on this exact same Forbes article today. Well worth a read.
is he getting negative comments for being an idiot or is it because he said “President Obama gave an excellent speech last week in Kansas about inequality in America”?
good lord, i take the bait so easily! comments are about him being an idiot…so far, my favorite commenter calls themselves genemarkssucksdicks
his guidance counselor remark is really getting the heat…what a douchebag…he obviously has not seen a guidance counselor in action, let alone the ‘rural’ ones he’s advocating for some reason…yeah, our school has the same one who started there in ’77…super nice guy, but he has his favorite families, so guess who gets all his time? he told me back in ’83 that i would never go to college, despite being bright and he desultorily researched some acting schools for me, but that was about it…i showed him though…went to the u of m fifteen years later and graduated…it was awesome asking him for a letter of reference when applying for a job there after graduation…
Guidance counselors are perhaps the only person in your life who has to size you up in the first sentence, then recommend your career to you.
I’d rather see a palm reader.
Wow. You guys are tough out there.
we do have some wimmen pastors…my church (ucc) being the first to have one…but yeah, they are pretty hardcore on their church out here…ha, you should have seen the daughter (and the congregation’s) reaction a few years ago when my mom and asshat attended the in-law’s christmas eve service and my mom went up for communion…i’m surprised every candle did not extinguish from the mass gasp that took place. they had just gotten a new young minister who really should not have been ordained…would have made a much better scholar, but he was so shook up by my mom and one of the thole girl’s decolletage that he spilled the communion wine right down her cleavage…a very memorable service…
Steerpike said,
December 14, 2011 at 19:42
thanks…i am indeed looking for some sort of answers…
You should take a video camera with you to church. That’s youtube gold right there.
Christine O’Donnell has endorsed Mitt Romney, Tom said bewitchingly.
There’s a “turned into a Newt/got better” joke in there somewhere.
Just so you don’t think I’m trying to trick you, you should know Greta is an outspoken atheist. She will not provide “answers”. She will point out that some questions cannot be answered, which is, I believe, a more comforting notion than the idea that there are some answers which cannot be questioned. By all means, browse through her archives, and visit some of the the other Free Thought Blogs. Losing one’s faith can be a terrifying experience, but you should know that there is a large, welcoming community of non-believers, and it is growing every day.
And we have beer!
The answers you seek are here.
And we have beer!
SOLD!
The answers you seek are here.
man, i love christopher guest!
And we have beer!
Well, you know what they say about Episcopalians… Whenever there are 2 or 3 of us gathered together there’s always a fifth…
Well, you know what they say about Episcopalians… Whenever there are 2 or 3 of us gathered together there’s always a fifth…
heh…us congregationalists…at least in my church…use grape juice for communion…i haven’t figured out if that’s in deference to the alcoholics or the fact that a big ass party will break out if we even get a sip of wine…
She will point out that some questions cannot be answered, which is, I believe, a more comforting notion than the idea that there are some answers which cannot be questioned
good call…so far i’ve liked what i’ve read…cannot wait to get home and really get into some serious reading…
you might as well go after the janitor position: at least you’ll get some exercise (until you age out of the system).
Newt? Is that you?
I was under teh impression that if a gay priest was going to go nowhere, it would be bum fuck nowhere.
Wow. You guys are tough out there. The NY synod has had women presidents! And if any pastor told me I couldn’t take communion, I’d look him in the eye and recite the entire frikkin’ Nicene Creed in Latin.
Mary-worshipper! Fish eater! Bead rattler! Papist! Whore of Babylon!
D-KW pointed out anally.
Mackerel-Snapper!
this will always be my favorite catholic bit…
Beer is proof that god loves us.
I think the reason I dislike wine as a beverage is because I associate it with church (Greek Orthodox).
Yeah, but vodka is 160 proof that Satan loves us. 😛
I hope everyone’s noticed McArdle’s stunningly horrible column…
John Revolta-
It’s Forbes Magazine. I “edited” the name to be more “fair” to the target audience of the publication.
actor 212-
You read and rebut, saving us the burden of doing either.
Yea, we can skip straight to the food pron or talking about hot TV actresses of the 60s. No need to thnk, just be fed our thoughts.
You guys were one of the most intelligent, insightful and funny comment sections when I was down in the trenches. You always find more to riff on and that’s why I love you all.
I wish I believed god existed because I would so make a t-shirt that says “Sambal Oelek is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy” and I would wear the fuck out of that thing.
And we have beer!
So do Trappist monks, but I won’t be joining their orthodoxy either, thank you very much.
Mary-worshipper! Fish eater! Bead rattler! Papist! Whore of Babylon!
Wow. I knew we Lutherans were Catholic-lite, but Papist???
I hope everyone’s noticed McArdle’s stunningly horrible column…
ShorterShorter Muggin’
Oh, it’s not Gene’s first time in the Privilege Fail Rodeo.
He previously used his astounding powers to ignore the effect of racism to ignore the effect of sexism and argue that the Glass Ceiling is toot suite made-up because women no longer get raped at work like in Mad Men.
Apparently he makes a career of combining complete lack of knowledge in the very thing he uses to make millions with blind privilege thus serving as the perfect illustration of our American meritocracy in action.
First they’ll take our cell phones.
Then they’ll take our meteor showers.
I wish I believed in God so I could beat the shit out of him over the state of things.
Sandusky must have given his lawyer that number: http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/jerry-sandusky-waives-preliminary-hearing-a
I wish I believed in God so I could beat the shit out of him over the state of things.
Jesse Custer, is that you?
Atheists can make any style of beer we want, including the monkish ones, without “joining” anything.
And beer is probably the reason civilization exists at all so there’s that.
And once admitted to one of these schools the first person I’d introduce myself to would be the school’s guidance counselor.
I’ve read a fair bit of the literature on vocational guidance but I have not encountered any evidence that guidance counsellors are any use for helping people find employment. Except themselves, of course.
Wow. I knew we Lutherans were Catholic-lite, but Papist???
I was reacting to your use of Latin 🙂
Now that you mention it, I do remember you saying you were Lutheran – oops.
And beer is probably the reason civilization exists at all so there’s that.
Where does “probably” come into this????
I was reacting to your use of Latin 🙂
Well, you know, I was thinking more along the lines of the damn thing being held by a Roman emperor, but you have a point
I wish I believed in God so I could beat the shit out of him over the state of things.
Careful, man, He’s been training MMA with Chuck Lidel.
I’ve read a fair bit of the literature on vocational guidance but I have not encountered any evidence that guidance counselors are any use for helping people find employment. Except themselves, of course.
The same goes for Career Services Offices at just about any graduate program. I’ve actually seen firms provide their own job-search materials that start off by warning against doing anything advised by the CSO.
I like beer.
recite the entire frikkin’ Nicene Creed in Latin. Backwards. – actor212
Reminds me of the Hillel Rabbi when/where I started grad school: he was a Norman Lamm style “Centrist Orthodox” type who happened to do his doctoral dissertation in some New Testament scholarship type field. Whenever any minister decided to “impress the Rabbi by quoting the Hebrew Bible in Hebrew”, he would happily quote early New Testament manuscripts in Koine.
heh…us congregationalists…at least in my church…use grape juice for communion…i haven’t figured out if that’s in deference to the alcoholics or the fact that a big ass party will break out if we even get a sip of wine…
It’s because where it says “wine” in the Bible, it really means “grape juice.” No, seriously, Jesus never imbibed a drop in his life. In a hot desert climate, before refrigeration, people somehow found fresh grapes to squeeze and drink before fermentation set in.
Or at least that’s what MY church said. And that is why I no longer believe in God, folks. Salut!
Yea, we can skip straight to the food pron or talking about hot TV actresses of the 60s. No need to thnk, just be fed our thoughts.
Aw, poor actor misses his tugjob partner DenDen.
But I use her story to illustrate a point: while she may have had far more choice in the matter, she is poor because she does the things that poor people do.
uh, megan…fuck you!
Jesse Custer, is that you?
i read this as jesus, custer, is that you? i was a bit confooozed…
BEER IS NOT A TOY.
Or at least that’s what MY church said. And that is why I no longer believe in God, folks. Salut!
yeah, i don’t get why jesus could have long hair, wear sandals, not go to church every sunday and drink wine was okay, but some churches frown quite strongly at this type of behavior…god does indeed work in mysterious ways…
Aw, poor actor misses his tugjob partner DenDen.
Which part of “think” does he fit in, dipshit?
Maybe for a low normal like yourself, but not for an average person
he would happily quote early New Testament manuscripts in Koine.
That’s hardcore
quoting the Hebrew Bible in Hebrew
Quote it in the original Klingon. You get to make more stuff up, that way.
if I invite you to my feast, you have the obligation to invite me to yours. If I give you something like a pig or a pot of beer, you’re obligated to do the same for me or even more.”
this is a civilization i can get behind!
Quote it in the original Klingon. You get to make more stuff up, that way
like this?
BTW, if you value your sanity, DO NOT read the comments at Big Elf’s. I have not brought you mangos because I am a nice person.
No, seriously, Jesus never imbibed a drop in his life.
He may have, accidentally. The wedding at Cana tells the story of the “wine of lesser vintage” (fermented juice) as opposed to the “fine wine” that Jesus provides (fresh juice), so it’s not impossible that he partook of fermented juice.
Remember, poor people had to keep things much longer and Who hung around poor people a lot?
By the way, the original citation for fermented wine being evil is Deuteronomy 32:33
While busy putting the Christninto Christmas did Jesus celebrate Chanukah?
Christ, Megs.
Yeah, why don’t they just take flute lessons and major in medieval art at Sarah Lawrence like NORMAL people?
How curious!
And that’s as far as I made it before my veggie burger resurfaced.
The Bible in the original JanusNode:
While busy putting the Christninto Christmas did Jesus celebrate Chanukah?
John 10:22
If poor people did the stuff that middle class people do
Well, they’d sit around, drink beer, play video games and watch TV, but they’re busy working their third jobs…
The Bible in the original JanusNode:
T’awesome
That makes as much sense as the “real” one.
Christ, Megs.
i know! isn’t she just horrendous? what is this ‘poor’ people ‘act’ differently shit…oh, she makes me all stabby…
Good old Rahmbo, always looking out for the 1%
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/clout/chi-emanuel-wants-big-fine-increases-for-g8-protesters-20111214,0,6142175.story
That makes
as muchmore senseasthan the “real” one.Fiqst for great truth.
Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have opened facebook this afternoon. First, I find a link to this exact article by someone I recently friended, complete with the “Asian people succeed no matter where they’re from, why can’t black people do it too? Hmm?” canard.
Then, a link from Baptist Seminary Dude to an article that says “if you could make poor people twice as rich by making rich people ten times as rich, why wouldn’t you help the poor people that way? You HATE rich people! Yer ENVIOUS!” Whatever helps you maintain your political tribe while reading a Bible every day and still sleep at night, I guess.
But then, on the plus side, I find this rebuttal: If I Were A Wealthy White Suburbanite. So it’s not a complete loss, I recommend that one. And I LOL’d at this line –
Though as has already been pointed out, of course he wasn’t actually talking to poor black kids.
also, too…isn’t she some sort of *economist* or something…which is why i found this line I think that the low salaries available to people who are not cut out for school represent a real problem for our society (unfortunately, not one I have any idea how to solve, which is why I rarely blog about it)
a bit disconcerting AND revealing…again, you don’t have to be good at anything if you are part of the 1%…you can still make a decent living being a horrible human being and a fuck-up…and she just stone cold admitted it!
That’s nothin’…I put my latest entry through Babel Fish in Japanese, then back into English.
But, seriously, don’t read the comments. Most of em are like “the poors won’t act right–let ’em die off.” Actually, that’s not fair. Most of them sound a lot worse than that.
In re John 10:22 … notice Jesus never really answers the question, while claiming he answered it already and it wasn’t his fault if nobody listened to his answer. He must have had some damned good lawyers. 😉
Still more readable than McMegan.
Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?
on the two houses, the house of our God.
and the House of Pancakes
This man began to reign
well, that’s good, it’s hot and dry there
And the LORD a field with the apostles.
after he had made a lot of wine from water they all got to a’feelin’
if he ask a fish, will he guide them.
sure, just like Thudner, blame fish
Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have opened facebook this afternoon.
eck…i just opened mine and the first thing i was treated to was the ‘ben stein rah, rah christmas!’ drivel…
The assumption that he thinks he really is addressing poor black kids, writing under the tent of FORBES Magazine…Yeah, everybody in the ‘hood reads that.
a better venue
That’s not where the poor kids are, but I would still love to see him up on a soapbox in front of the Apollo preaching to the Saturday crowds.
Just ’cause we’re fixxoring things for truth and justice and cute puppies and all.
First, I find a link to this exact article by someone I recently friended, complete with the “Asian people succeed no matter where they’re from, why can’t black people do it too? Hmm?” canard.
Yes, this is why American jobs are flying to China because, you know, the workers are paid millions to hammer toys together.
But, seriously, don’t read the comments
vs, why do you hate my job? you do realize that as soon as you say, ‘don’t read the comments!!!’ that i’m going to run right over there and read the comments, don’t you? and then an entire afternoon will be wasted…sucked into the abyss…
In re John 10:22 … notice Jesus never really answers the question, while claiming he answered it already and it wasn’t his fault if nobody listened to his answer. He must have had some damned good lawyers.
Hey, the man’s had practice, being called down to every single inauguration and Congressional session since, well, who knows?
“Asian people succeed no matter where they’re from, why can’t black people do it too? Hmm?” canard.
um…DUH! cuz black people aren’t asian! well, except for tiger woods…and possibly obama…wait…wait…oh, yeah…they both FAIL…ha!
notice Jesus never really answers the question, while claiming he answered it already and it wasn’t his fault if nobody listened to his answer
this sounds like the beginnings of a gaffigan riff…
I don’t have time to read the post, much less the comments, right now; but I just wanna sez:
GO CERBERUS!!! WHOO-HOO!!! WHAT A WONDERFUL TIGGER AND PARSE-ER OF WINGNUT TANTRUM IN TEXT YOU BE!!!
I may never catch up. But someone WILL and will keep the torch of laughing-instead-of crying burning.
you can still make a decent living being a horrible human being and a fuck-up…and she just stone cold admitted it!
Yea, I mean, even if you don’t have a good answer, saying you’re an economist and then not even bothering to trot out some old hackneyed bromide about deregulation or some shit that doesn’t pass the smell test goes beyond lazy all the way to eleven on the evilometer.
It’s not that I hate your job. OK, well, I kinda hate everybody’s job, cuz when you guys are doing your jobs and having lives that’s less time you can spend playing with me…BUT as far as the comments go, here’s the deal: I’M NOT GOING TO SUFFER ALONE!!!!
But there’s no racism in America!
Right? Plus, I don’t even know how McMegan can be taken seriously as a journalist–SHE DOESN’T EVEN WEAR PINK BUNNY EARS!
Re: prisons and workhouses, I got the feeling from most of the commenters, they’d prefer the poor just die. Fuckin’ creepy.
Jeesh. What’s worse, some yahoo chicken jockey who hates asians or the institutional racism that Marks McArdle or whatever-tf fails to see because everyone can go to the library for internet or go to the ER for healthcare and therefore USAUSA, the end.
both, I guess.
That’s not where the poor kids are, but I would still love to see him up on a soapbox in front of the Apollo preaching to the Saturday crowds.
Good point. instead of pontificating to ones friends at Faberge Eggs magazine, why not get out on the streets and robustly invigorate the marketplace of ideas. Of course, there might be actual, you know, poor types there.
Even Jesus can’t help these wimmin
Yeah, that’s kind of what I was getting at. Here’s the full bit:
I’m convinced Scrooge (from the early part of the story) would be leading the Republican race for the presidency.
OT, The Ho has to do the intro at this evening’s show. He asked whether I wanted to attend. I hadn’t heard of the artist (I live in a fucking shoebox, alright?) so I googled some up. I think it would be criminal for me to skip a Joe Bonamassa show.
why not get out on the streets and robustly invigorate the marketplace of ideas.
Especially since they’d probably toss proto-Faberge eggs at him! All he’d have to do is carefully catch them and put them in an incubator et voila! Faberge eggs!
Even Jesus can’t help these wimmin
That’s a man, baby! All three of ’em!
“I’m convinced Scrooge (from the early part of the story) would be leading the Republican race for the presidency.”
I know. Jesus.
What I mean, OBS, is I totally agree. And Jesus that is a disturbing mindset the repigs have.
“Especially since they’d probably toss proto-Faberge eggs at him! All he’d have to do is carefully catch them and put them in an incubator et voila! Faberge eggs!”
Or, not catch them et voila! Faberge omelettes!
Or, not catch them et voila! Faberge omelettes!
He could feed the masses!
Oh, if only he didn’t think they’d only eat fried chicken and watermelon….
I think it’s only a misdemeanor though, so no jail time.
I think it’s only a misdemeanor though, so no jail time.
Just don’t miss a Joe Bonanno show. It’s coitins!
If I give you something like a pig or a pot of beer, you’re obligated to do the same for me or even more.
I’ll give you both! A pig and a pot of beer with which to toast the nuptials!
JanusNode Bible is AWESOME. McMegs not so much. Love the conclusion that her TOTALLY NOT AT ALL MADE-UP story means people born poor might actually choose to be poor and so society shouldn’t do anything because AGENCY!!! Some people are self-destructive, so non-self destructive people with similar outcomes MIGHT ACTUALLY SECRETLY be self-destructive and so should be treated as though they chose their outcome! Some folk are cutters so anyone who shows up a hospital with lacerations should suck it! Some folks have anorexia so starving children should get over it! Some people embrace ignorance so people with severe brain damage should be published in The Atlantic! Actually, the last might be an improvement…
I’d watch relevant teachings on Academic Earth, TED and the Khan Academy.
Interviewer: So tell me about your qualifications.
-I watched 72 hours of TED lectures on the internet and heard about game theory on Academic Earth.
I: How does that make you qualified to design and manufacture cell phones?
-I can recite interesting anecdotes at cocktail parties about social networking.
I: Okay, thank you.
WHAT A WONDERFUL TIGGER
I never get called that, no matter how often I jump on people going ‘Worraworraworraworraworraworra’.
[sniff].
I never get called that, no matter how often I jump on people going ‘Worraworraworraworraworraworra’.
[sniff].
Did you ask first? No! So you got a bat to the head and a temporary restraining order!
Joe Bonamassa show
have friends who WORSHIP him and just attended his show last week…i don’t get it…
Isn’t the Janus node + bible the method that was used to write the book of Mormon?
Isn’t the Janus node + bible the method that was used to write the book of Mormon?
and dianetics…
… aaaaand… yep, sure enough, someone weighs in and says that “as long as there’s affirmative action, the playing field will never be fair.” Like clockwork.
The usual suspects are roasting McMEEgan pretty good over at Roy’s.
I’m convinced Scrooge (from the early part of the story) would be leading the Republican race for the presidency.
But, but, he’s European. Isn’t that like being a New Englander on steroids?
… aaaaand… yep, sure enough, someone weighs in and says that “as long as there’s affirmative action, the playing field will never be fair.” Like clockwork.
why do people insist on forcing me to want to beat their asses?!?!?
I’m convinced Scrooge (from the early part of the story) would be leading the Republican race for the presidency.
Edwin Meese, Reagan’s attorney general (until he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar), once remarked that Scrooge was a decent employer and a Republican role model. He later claimed that he was joking.
I never get called that, no matter how often I jump on people going ‘Worraworraworraworraworraworra’.
[sniff].
I’ll call you that as soon as my spleen starts working again, promise.
He later claimed that he was joking.
Now, he wouldn’t have to.
why do people insist on forcing me to want to beat their asses?!?!?
Er, rich conservatives. Hobbies, ya know.
The Bible in the original JanusNode:
That makes as much sense as the “real” one.
WHY DO YOU HATE JANUS NODE?
GUIDE US, O FISH!
I’m convinced Scrooge (from the early part of the story) would be leading the Republican race for the presidency.
I have argued that conservatives read A Christmas Carol as a tragic decent into madness.
He later claimed that he was joking.
“I was just joking.” Quickly becoming a catchphrase of theirs, isn’t it?
Little fish are you true to the old covenant?
“Return and we return”
“Return and we return”
“Ctrl+alt+del and we Ctrl+alt+del”
GUIDE US, O FISH!
Soooooooooooooooo, he’s a pilot fish?
I have argued that conservatives read A Christmas Carol as a tragic decent into madness.
I would ahem you, fish, but I can’t recall where I posted that last week.
Curse the deterioration of my brain!
would ahem you, fish, but I can’t recall where I posted that last week.
Ahem yourself.
Soooooooooooooooo, he’s a pilot fish?
He is without remora.
Curse the deterioration of my brain!
Sure you didn’t eat it by accident?
Say, is that cannibalism if a zombie eats his own brain?
That does it. I’m converting to the church of JanusNode. Can I have another bit of fresh scripture in honor of my conversion?
Behold now, I have given my maiden to my skin. I am the LORD.
Bowchickawowwow…
Come mister teleost tele my banana…
I work for scale.
Soooooooooooooooo, he’s a pilot fish?
He is without remora.
So long as he doesn’t call down the wrasse of God.
Now smut is talking dirty.
I’ve often sat down astonied. Goodness knows, I get astonied enough, I *have* to sit down…
I work for scale.
What’s your sign? Pisces or Libra?
What’s your sign?
No Hunting
No Fishing
So long as he doesn’t call down the wrasse of God.
I will put his head on a pike.
keep the sabbath day receive circumcision
*crossing legs tightly*
I will put his head on a pike.
You wanna be burned to a char???
even their nakedness thou shalt see the cities which I command thee this day
Is that Tokyo in your lap or are you just happy to see me?
you can still make a decent living being a horrible human being and a fuck-up…and she just stone cold admitted it!
Not only can you do so, but it actually helps you make a decent living if you are a horrible human being, etc. — provided, of course, you are a white child of the upper classes.
You wanna be burned to a char???
Oh stop carping, you know I’m betta.
Wait, barley drink offerings and nakedness in the cities?!!! I am IN.
So long as he doesn’t call down the wrasse of
GodCod.FTFY
Oh stop carping, you know I’m betta.
Walleye never! You’re a real aholehole!
So long as he doesn’t call down the wrasse of Cod.
FTFY
I was saving that for a special occasion
Wait, barley drink offerings and nakedness in the cities?!!! I am IN. – tigris
Just study some Talmud then … especially any parts involving R. Pappa (who got very rich brewing beer) and R. Jochanan (who was so hawt he turned gay women straight and straight men gay). Although I think the legends around the latter are simply supposed to be metaphors about what Calvinists would later call “irresistible grace” (Jochanan roughly means “grace of God” in Hebrew).
“irresistible grace”
She worked the same corner as “Easy Sally”
Huh…God is a vegetarian. Those PETA folks will be even more smug now.
Well, they already worship Ayn Rand, so Scrooge would fit right in.
If god is a vegetarian, why did he make pigs so delicious?
He’s a masochist.
Or masochrist. Your choice.
Heh. Smug. That word sounds hilarious when you say it to yourself like 12 times.
If god is a vegetarian, why did he make pigs so delicious? – fish
Once you’ve had the fake pork & seafood dishes at a vegetarian/kosher Chinese place, you won’t have any desire to go back.
Still looking for a good substitute for ham, though (was raised in a less stringently observant household, but my wife and I keep a kosher home).
DAS: Just study
Wait, you’ve lost me…
If god is a vegetarian, why did he make pigs so delicious?
What I want to know is if cannibalism is so wrong why are people made of meat?
If god is a vegetarian, why did he make pigs so delicious? – fish
Also, Adam and Eve got tossed out on their ears for eating fruit.
To get a kosher home do you have to ritually slaughter the realtor?
Because that’s a practice I could get behind.
Those are great, but they’re different. It’s like saying Froot Loops are a substitute for Captain Crunch. IT JUST AIN’T SO.
The way they shred the roof of your mouth is remarkably similar.
Honest, I didn’t mean to kill it…
First they came for the crow-headed humans, and I did not speak out because I was not a crow-headed human;
Then they came for the spider queens, and I did not speak out because I was not a spider queen;
Then they came for the giant carnivorous tube worms, and I did not speak out because I was not a giant carnivorous tube worm;
Then they came for the orc battle priests, and I did not speak out because I was not an orc battle priest;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Haven’t had time to excavate the jewels in this thread, but had some awesome news to relate.
For those of you who read my (according to Beth) way-too-long and gray post on the US Post Office over at my blog, you know already about my obsession with the USPS. I think they’re great and have been very worried that the planned closing of a bunch of postal facilities would be just the first nail in the coffin to turn the public against the USPS and make them accepting of a for-profit service that would cost a lot more for no better service, and possibly much worse service. Yesterday it was announced that those planned closings have been postponed for the next 5 or 6 months, which is good news indeed.
But that’s not my news. My news is that by chance, a woman I met today while I was out working, after long conversation, turned out to be the head of HR for the USPS here in the state. So of course I immediately launch into how much I love the post office, what a great job they do, how glad I was to hear they were putting off the planned closures, & etc etc etc. She says, “you ought to be on our Consumer Council because you’re very knowlegeable. If you’d be willing to serve, I’ll recommend you.” Of course, I told her I’d love to be on the council. So, we’ll see!
How awesome is THAT?
I work for scale.
really? why did this make me laff so hard?
I haven’t had any of teh “pork” or “seafood” dishes here, but teh best chicken drumlets I’ve ever had were made of soy.
She worked the same corner as “Easy Sally”
hey, now!
Huh…God is a vegetarian
either that or he’s lawnmower man…
Heh. Smug. That word sounds hilarious when you say it to yourself like 12 times.
say, tsam…did you perhaps take any sort of substances to help you over your sad?
Also, Adam and Eve got tossed out on their ears for eating fruit.
refer to the gaffigan upthread…
How awesome is THAT?
jennifer that is really freaking awesome! oh, i hope you get the opportunity to do it! as you know, big fan of the usps right here…and i was relieved to hear this news yesterday as well…our little towns are going to be s.o.l. if these closings happen…
Hmm, I’m torn between my respect for the post office, and her being an HR manager which I generally have zero respect for…
Oh alright, I’ll go ahead and agree it’s awesometastic.
I killed it again didn’t I? I think I’ll just go get a beer.
Looch wanted a cliff, Chris insisted on guillotines for the sake of tradition.
I also wanted a cement truck, lots of rock salt and a few dozen bowling balls. Toss in a few right-wing morons, mix well, and then dump them over the cliff onto the waiting blades.
Go, Looch, go! Don’t you want any explosives with that?
Nah, just don’t let them set up like they did on Mythbusters and have to use a whole shit-ton of dynamite to get them out.
Go, Looch, go! Don’t you want any explosives with that?
A self-propelled combine harvester would be nice. Chase them around before sucking them up and mulching them. A wood chipper might do as well.
But hell yes, let’s mix in some explosives.
With shrapnel, of course.
. I don’t believe that. I believe that everyone in this country has a chance to succeed. Still. In 2011. Even a poor black kid in West Philadelphia.
Even a bad writer who overuses sentence fragments…
,,,Even a poor black kid in West Philadelphia.
OMG! I can’t believe I missed that teh first time round.
In West Philadelphia, born and raised
With lotsa luck and help, hard work and BRANES
Chillin’ out, codin’ and learnin’ software all cool
Surfin’ Google Scholar from my elite private school,
When a coupla guys
Who were up to no good
Started makin’ trouble in my neighbourhood
I got into one little fight and my mom got scared
Heh, heh. Something about d00d’s mum.
I don’t believe that. I believe that everyone in this country has a chance to succeed. Still. In 2011. Even a poor black kid in West Philadelphia.
And that’s what the whole article is really about. How does rich white guy feel? Is America cold and heartless enough to spoil his digestion? Not as long as the idea of plucky black kid exists. Thanks, imaginary plucky black kid.
DKW my favorite twitter response: “If I were a poor black kid from West Philadelphia I’d move to Bel Air.”
I thought a cliffotine was a guillotine operated by Cliff. Could be wrong.
How awesome is THAT?
Awesome with awesome sauce.
How awesome is THAT?
That is awesome! It’s amazing how many people don’t know of the concerted attack against the USPS by the GOP. I have a co-worker who is brilliant, but she’d never heard of this. She’s young, and has a lot on her mind with work and a volunteer gig, so she doesn’t have the time to be a political junkie, but she was shocked to learn this.
Get the word out to as many people as you can. Most people are unaware that there is an attack on the postal service.
It’s amazing how many people don’t know of the concerted attack against the USPS by the GOP.
Strict Constitutionalists my ASS.
Agreed on teh awesome. Not only are you knowledgable, you’re vocal and you don’t take shit from anybody.
Strictly constituting Tigris’s ass.
I think it would be criminal for me to skip a Joe Bonamassa show.
Dude if you miss that show, I’ll personally go get tsam and take him to your place to slit your throat.
I checked into tix here and the cheapest was $130. I like the dude’s music but not THAT much. But free? Holy fuck yes!
And Jennifer: that’s pretty damn cool. Hope you can wield some influence in that position.
To get a kosher home do you have to ritually slaughter the realtor?
Well, the first arrest in the John Doe probe of Turdwaffle Walker is a Realtor, so it seems the ritual begins with an ignominious arrest. At least in Wisconsin.
I have offered my services for the remainder of the ritual, but have not received a response yet. I expect one soon; I included preliminary diagrams of the
WingnutRealtor Processor.Indeed Jennifer. Politely ask if they any idea what a mass going postal would be like.
What the fuckity fuck is wrong with having a postal service? Oh sorry, forgot, socialnism.
Those are great, but they’re different. It’s like saying Froot Loops are a substitute for Captain Crunch. IT JUST AIN’T SO.
Mix em together.
If you want to know what privatized postal service would be like, ask those of us of a certain age who can remember dealing with the phone company…back when it was The Phone Company.
(That’s not quite a veiled reference to “The President’s Analyst,” but you can take it that way if you want)
Mix em together.
He who mixeth the Froot Loops in the bowl with the Captain Crunch and douseth them in the milk of the milch-cow, him thou shalt put to death, for it is confusion, and detestable, and an Abomination in the eyes of the Lord.
back when it was The Phone Company.
Call it The Phone Cops and it could be a WKRP reference.
and an Abomination in the eyes of the Lord.
But the Captain LIKES gettin his rainbow on.
Mix em together.
TO THE CLIFFOTINE!
Mix em together.
TO THE CLIFFOTINE!
That’s only if you’re dicing them.
[…] Sadly No: Privilege of Privileges […]
Just got home from France. It’s been a very long day.
A certain Atlanta-based airline has “misplaced” my luggage. It’s probably on its way to Guam as we speak.
Hopefully it shows up tomorrow.
Hey, Kong, just curious–when it shows up, do they deliver it or do you have to go get it?
I caught up with the last thread.
You may have missed it— it’s invisible ink and an imperceptible font— but after every sentence he writes are the words “in my head.”
Now— ahem— about the menz?
I like a pretty face, and all, but if you want to keep my attention, baby you better MOVE!!!
Hope these links work.
Hey, Major, just watched Dr. Strangelove. Yee-haw, motherfucker.
OK, I didn’t mean that as harsh as it probably sounded.
A harsh zombie? What is this world coming to?
I Am A Zombie Filled With Love, wiley.
A harsh zombie?
Use older rums.
Also, I Am A Zombie Filled With Love.
Props where due.
Use older rums.
Around me, they tend to not get very old.
Also, too!. If you died of breast cancer you weren’t positive enough and didn’t own enough pink artifacts..
Sigh.
What if I were a poor black kid of average intelligence? What if I were a poor black kid whose talents weren’t in the realm of technology?
Oh, you? You’re f#%*ked.
What if I were a poor black kid of average intelligence? What if I were a poor black kid whose talents weren’t in the realm of technology?
Well Duh… That’s easy! SPORTS.
The Phone Company
So, I’ve been thinking on something here. Is the sole reason he name-checked “a poor black kid from West Philadelphia” because of Will Smith? Because “hey, poor black kid from West Philadelphia! Simply frighten your mother so much that she sends you to live with your black Republican relatives in California! Then you’ll make it!” seems just as reasonable as “hey, technology!”
But then I have to ask if the readers of Forbes have seen Fresh Prince.
Oh, crud, the one time I forget to login.
OK, I didn’t mean that as harsh as it probably sounded.
How harsh did you mean it to sound?
Hey, Kong, just curious–when it shows up, do they deliver it or do you have to go get it?
They claim they’re going to deliver it. I suspect, however, that it’s on it’s way to Guam right about now.
But then I have to ask if the readers of Forbes have seen Fresh Prince.
Of course they have! It features rich folks from Beverly Hills! It’s like their token minority programming, much as “The Jeffersons” was.
Hey, Major, just watched Dr. Strangelove. Yee-haw, motherfucker.
As shopworn as that film– and that idiom from it– is, it is still a must-see whenever it’s on the TeeVee
To get a kosher home do you have to ritually slaughter the realtor?
The rabbi also has to bless your commute
Hey, Major, just watched Dr. Strangelove. Yee-haw, motherfucker.
I don’t recommend it, but I’ve actually flown it that low.
Of course they have! It features rich folks from Beverly Hills! It’s like their token minority programming, much as “The Jeffersons” was.
Though, of course, the token minority in Beverly Hills seems to be Iranians. At least if that re-boot of 90210 taught me anything.
I love graceful men. Men who can dance are sexy…and martial artists are awesome.
I’ve always been too stocky to ever be considered “graceful”.
Can you kick ass?
Can you kick ass?
If I have to, yes.
Well, there ya go.
Major Kong said,
December 15, 2011 at 12:42
Hey, Major, just watched Dr. Strangelove. Yee-haw, motherfucker.
I don’t recommend it, but I’ve actually flown it that low.
Frying chickens in the yard?
I don’t recommend it, but I’ve actually flown it that low.
When I was a lad, my first apartment was on a glide path to LGA and on rainy mornings, we used to hand coffee out to pilots as they flew by.
VS – actual ass-kicking tends to be a really ugly event, that bears the same relationship to media violence that humanly-attractive women bear to airbrushed lingerie models. I say this, as someone who has been on both ends of ass kicking: there are few things more dehumanizing for all the participants.
Ignore both extraneous commas…
Yeah, I’m actually not for randomly getting into scrapes. I think that’s pretty uncivilized.
And–to clarify–while I may find a man who can hold his own in a sticky situation attractive, there are about 100 things that are more impressive to me.
I figured. You don’t seem the cheering-for-blood type.
Frying chickens in the yard?
The plane actually rides like a Cadillac at 50 feet because you’re in ground effect. But at 390 knots indicated the ground is going by really fast. I got pretty comfortable at 100 feet, but 50 feet was rather intense and I only practiced it a couple times.
It was our last-ditch maneuver against a missile – get as low as you could and hopefully put a piece of dirt between you and the missile.
When I was a lad, my first apartment was on a glide path to LGA and on rainy mornings, we used to hand coffee out to pilots as they flew by. – actor212
Did any of them ask “pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon”?
A plane flies too close and you’ve mostly likely got bright yellow poopin’.
Did any of them ask “pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon”?
We did get bagel requests.
A plane flies too close and you’ve mostly likely got bright yellow poopin’.
This was in Jackson Heights, so it’s possible that was from the saffron flour.
actual ass-kicking tends to be a really ugly event
It is fun watching someone kick their own ass, tho.
They usually have to be drunk first. I’ve gotten into fights where all I did was dodge and duck, never threw a punch, and let the guy punch himself out in both senses of the word.
The key is to taunt them mercilessly, which gets them blind with rage.
I try to avoid fights.
I figure if I lose I’m probably going to the hospital and if I win I’m probably going to jail – or the guy you just beat up is waiting for you in the parking lot with a gun.
I can think of a lot of ways for it to end badly.
OK, so Marks is telling us how someone who is incredibly talented, incredibly perserverant, and incredibly lucky can bring themselves from the streets of West Philly to the same point that the average child of the middle class starts at. OK, fine. Now what are we going to do with the other 99% ?
Are we ever going to reach the point where the average poor schmuck has the same opportunities as the average middle-class schmuck?
And although I’m almost a day late, I demand my right to post really bad Tom Swifties:
“I’m into necrophilliac homosexuality!”, Tom said in dead Earnest
Are we ever going to reach the point where the average poor schmuck has the same opportunities as the average middle-class schmuck?
We were told, growing up, that education would help level the playing field. That was before conservatives realized education could be a) a profit center and b) dangerous to their movement.
Not while I’m having coffee, dammit!
I can think of a lot of ways for it to end badly.
This is one reason I don’t throw many punches in a fight.
Also, cuz it really hurts.
I avoid throwing punches because my hands are registered with the FBI as deadly weapons.
I prefer to use guns, because ain’t nobody requiring me to register those at all!
I don’t recommend it, but I’ve actually flown it that low.
Well, of course, you have. You had to ride that bomb down, after all. BTW, what’s your hat size?
After breaking a knuckle in college, I’ve stuck to winning fights through a combination of running away and the overwhelming force of my charming personality.
I prefer to use guns, because ain’t nobody requiring me to register those at all!
Yeah, here in Wisconsin we can now walk into the Capitol with concealed weapons, but they make me check my limbs at the door!
We were told, growing up, that education would help level the playing field.
It is also possible that the wealthy were lying.
It’s a simpler explanation.
Breaking news: Zombie wields Occam’s Razor! Thousands flee in horror!
I’ve never fought. At 6’4″ and 250 lbs, I just narrow my eyes and say “You don’t want to do that.” Most were not curious to find out if they did, indeed, want to do it and would leave me alone.
Haha, joke was on them. It would have been the shortest fight in history. I’d have hit the floor with one punch!
It’s funny: I’ve avoided fights for more than 25 years, but a few weeks ago a guy stepped on Mini__B’s stroller because he wasn’t looking where he was going and I was ready to throw down right then and there. I guess it’s like riding a bicycle…
This is what I use to get the produce guy to run all over the store to find me peeled garlic.
peeled garlic.
That exists? I peel my own and savor the smell…
It does indeed.
I like a pretty face, and all, but if you want to keep my attention, baby you better MOVE!!!
ooooh, wiley…good call…michael hutchence…rawr! but i have to admit i’m a bit sad that those links did not contain a rick roll…not that he’s hawt, i just love me some rick astley…
peeling the garlic…
savoring the smell…
It’s funny: I’ve avoided fights for more than 25 years,
Heh. I joined a club so I could do it every week.
I’ve never fought. At 6’4? and 250 lbs, I just narrow my eyes and say “You don’t want to do that.”
Intimidation does a fine job, and I’m an inch shorter and 40 pounds lighter.
Also, never ever blink. Train yourself to keep your eyes open for thirty or forty seconds under even the worst conditions. You’d be amazed how quickly people back down once they’ve blinked first.
We were told, growing up, that education would help level the playing field.
It is also possible that the wealthy were lying.
It was a pretty good lie, considering it worked for about twenty years.
make me check my limbs at the door!
You might try to shower first next time
But Gene, You’re Not a “Poor Black Kid,” Now What?
there are few things more dehumanizing for all the participants.
oh, so agreed…for one, i just hate violence and pain, for two, i always feel sorry for the ass-whippee even if they deserve it (physical humiliation is always awful), for three for the ass-whipper to resort to sub-human behavior is just icky. this is why i always prefer the tongue lashing…i keep mine razor sharp and at the ready…
Heh. I joined a club so I could do it every week.
Dude! First rule??????!?!?!
I’ve stuck to winning fights through a combination of running away and the overwhelming force of my charming personality.
I’m also most charming from behind. Or so they tell me.
Heh. I joined a club so I could do it every week.
I found out she I was about ten, sparring at the Y: there’s something buried in my brain that interprets play-fighting as real fighting. I got no pleasure from it and tended to get too serious.
It’s amazing how many people don’t know of the concerted attack against the USPS by the GOP.
i often wonder nowadays, if me dear old da were still with us, how he would feel about this…he became pretty republican once he started making some usps cash and had a safety net after years of poverty…in a strictly NOT i-got-mine-so-fuck-you way…he was still very generous and was forever helping others…but it would be interesting to hear what he had to say about the gop now…
this is why i always prefer the tongue lashing…i keep mine razor sharp and at the ready…
I!!!!
W?
N?
Peeled garlic? For why?!?! Do you not know how to peel garlic easily?
It’s funny: I’ve avoided fights for more than 25 years,
Heh. I joined a club so I could do it every week.
Just marry the right woman and you can fight every day.
OK, so Marks is telling us how someone who is incredibly talented, incredibly perserverant, and incredibly lucky can bring themselves from the streets of West Philly to the same point that the average child of the middle class starts at. OK, fine. Now what are we going to do with the other 99% ?
Yeah, “equality of opportunity” doesn’t mean some kids have to run as hard as they can to keep up with kids who stand still. Or it shouldn’t, at any rate.
I can see how that would work pretty well.
I do, I do…it’s just one of those convenience ingredients I’m mad for. I love garlic and put it in just about everything and this just makes things so easy.
Shorter vs: I’m lazy.
i’m a bit sad that those links did not contain a rick roll
my favorite part of that video is the bartender
After breaking a knuckle in college, I’ve stuck to winning fights through a combination of running away and the overwhelming force of my charming personality.
this made me actually lol…that would be my gambit for sure…
Heh. I joined a club so I could do it every week.
eck…my son LOVES this movie…i discovered it’s not a good flick to watch while eating brunch…actually, i find it’s just not a film i can watch at any time, for the above mentioned reasons…
I can think of a lot of ways for it to end badly.
my son’s car got broke into the night before last…they effed up his back door, broke that window and stole most of the stuff in his gym bag…including his boxing gloves and ONE shoe…that is what has him the most pissed off…ONE shoe…and they were his faves…anyhoo, he mentioned to me yesterday that he wants to get a conceal and carry permit…the mother in me came up with a bazillion different scenarios wherein things end badly for him…i’m hoping it’s just idle talk…
bbkf, was he there when they broke into his car? Because otherwise, how’s a gun going to help? I guess he can fire shots into the air while he stretches out his arms to heaven screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
a guy stepped on Mini__B’s stroller because he wasn’t looking where he was going and I was ready to throw down right then and there.
heh…this is where my verbal attacks came in handy…at one time in elementary school our daughter was having difficulties with a bully on the school bus…he was saying the ‘f word’ to her…i was all set for just reaming the hell out of the fat little shit, but hubbkf stepped in because he knew this would likely involve a confrontation at the bus stop one morning with me in my robe and jammies screaming at some fat 6th grader…so, one afternoon when hubbkf picked the kids up he took said fat bully aside and told him that if he continued this, he would not be a happy child…the bully looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘fuck you.’ hubbkf was so taken aback that all he could muster up was, ‘buy a bra!’ he’s not a verbal or physical fighter…
also, we found out later, that the ‘f word’ he had been saying to the daughter was ‘shut up’
but when she was called retarded or being mocked, there were some children who got signed notes from me addressed to them and their parents with the proper definition of ‘retarded’ and that they really might want to learn how to use words properly…and that if they didn’t stop treating her like she was a freak, i was coming for them…worked a charm, it did…
my favorite part of that video is the bartender
as a part-time bartender, i demand that i am everybody’s favorite!
I don’t know how I will react to bullies and other kids when Mini__B’s old enough for that shit to arise. But this was an adult who couldn’t be bothered to not step on a stroller. He missed stepping on Mini__B by an inch or two.
Things will get ugly very fast if Pookietronic is ever bullied.
bbkf, was he there when they broke into his car? Because otherwise, how’s a gun going to help? I guess he can fire shots into the air while he stretches out his arms to heaven screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
not literally right by the car, but he was at home…he lives in a pretty sketchy neighborhood with things always getting stolen from somebody and he’s convinced a conceal and carry would give him ‘peace of mind’…i pointed out that he really might want to get his butt on the ball and pursue some of his promising job leads (union delivery driver) hardcore and get himself out of the sketchy neighborhood…i’m thinking he’s just blowing smoke, cuz he doesn’t have enough money at any given time to afford both a permit and a gun…
“the bully looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘fuck you.’ ”
My standard line for kid bullies (and prospective boyfriends of my girls): “I’m a chemist. I can make you disappear.”
My standard line for kid bullies (and prospective boyfriends of my girls): “I’m a chemist. I can make you disappear.”
my dad used to show off his gun collection…hubbkf could have been all, ‘i work for pbs…i will pledge drive you to death!’
“I’m a chemist. I can make you disappear.”
Walt White, is that you?
“hubbkf could have been all, ‘i work for pbs…i will pledge drive you to death!’”
I hear Ira Glass does pledge “hits”…
my dad used to show off his gun collection
I dated the daughter of a cop once. No, twice. He cleaned his service revolver both times I came to pick her up.
Walt White, is that you?
Without any further explanation, we are very, very similar.
“hubbkf could have been all, ‘i work for pbs…i will pledge drive you to death!’”
Wait Wait… Don’t Kill Me!
I remember when I was in high school there was this one popular girl who said something I didn’t like to me. All I did was hiss “Bitch” at her…she came up to me later and APOLOGIZED.
People have always known better than to mess with me.
I nominate VS for Sergeant at Arms during the next troll outbreak.
I have pledged to certain posters not to engage trolls. It bums me out, because I like playing with them, but I know a lot of people are really put off by troll-baiting.
Otherwise, HELL YES!
I nominate VS for Sergeant at Arms during the next troll outbreak.
She’ll need a gun…
I have pledged to certain posters not to engage trolls.
Is that the pledge Norquist was pushing or the one Hucabee was pushing or the one Franklin Graham as pushing? There are so many pledges around these days…
There are so many pledges around these days…
Well, initiation isn’t until after finals…
She’ll need a gun…
i’m willing to donate my favorite prison shank…
I don’t have a favorite prison skank. There are so many to choose from.
pushing the pledge
i’m willing to donate my favorite prison shank…
Wait…
If she froze a leg of lamb, then beat the troll to death, then cooked the lamb….*snapping fingers* That’s it!
I also will not tax trolls. Except the ones living under my bridge. And, yes, I don’t do much as take a shit without getting the go-ahead from Grover Norquist.
My standard line for kid bullies (and prospective boyfriends of my girls): “I’m a chemist. I can make you disappear.”
Mine too. 😉
Grover does know his POOP.
Takes poop to know poop.
Takes poop to know poop.
Speak for yourself, tutz.
If she froze a leg of lamb, then beat the troll to death, then cooked the lamb….*snapping fingers* That’s it!
then she’ll have to go to the store and buy a tin of peas…it is indeed the perfect crime..
PENIS
I don’t have a favorite prison skank.
“Bad Boys” was on IFC last night. What a great movie.
actor212 said,
December 15, 2011 at 19:01
PENIS
A nominee for the 2011 Darwin Awards.
Why am I not surprised that happened in New Jersey?
“Bad Boys” was on IFC last night.
Bad Boys? With Will Smith? An indie?????
My, how IFC has fallen….
I tried telling them that I would titrate them but it didn’t have the same effect. I like yours better.
I would titrate them
Me and some buddies had signs painted up from zero to ten to do just that at construction sites
I would titrate them
“That one’s an oversize moob, that one’s looking sad…”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085210/
this bad boys, natch.
Snooze you lose, N__B
NYMFAIL!
I blame bbkf.
Oh, THAT Bad Boys!
*whew*
I was getting worried.
Altho now that I think about it, I noticed that in the listings last night while flipping channels…
this bad boys, natch.
i recall that one making an impression on me when it first came out…i vowed then to never. go. to. prison. again…
I blame bbkf.
hey, now!
omg…dolly parton is crying about ‘the christmas shoes’…btw, my mom does NOT find it amusing when i make remarks about the coat of many colors when she is regaling us with tales about how her family was so poor that she didn’t have a poodle skirt…or a cardigan…
I didn’t think Dolly could see her shoes.
peeled garlic
How do they get the little catsuits on ’em?
I don’t have a favorite prison skank.
Me neither, not since Lawrencia Bembenek. Lindsay Lohan is a leading replacement.
Whale Chowder FTW!
Lawrencia Bembenek
is this a REAL name?!?!? i only ask because my mom was christened lawrencia beatrice…
I didn’t think Dolly could see her shoes.
she can’t which is what makes the song even more heartstrings tugging…excuse me…i must gag now…
Leg of lamb, sure. Or you could bludgeon him to death with a log and then burn it in the fire. Or smother him with pizza dough and then bake a pizza. The point is, if you destroy the murder weapon the police can’t do anything.
Lawrencia (aka Bambie to most WI residents) was real.
She made Thunder Bay, Ontario infamous (Paul Schaffer made it famous.)
The point is, if you destroy the murder weapon the police can’t do anything.
The empty mint jelly container in the garbage is incriminating.
Titration you say?
In high school we used to say that tit-rationing would become necessary if ever many more boys were born than girls.
I’ve always been too stocky to ever be considered “graceful”. -Major Kong
I don’t know. I was pretty impressed when you were on the top of the Empire State Building. Also explains the not flying too low recommendation upthread.
You think that was tricky business, what about the fake lashes?
Wait Wait… Don’t Kill Me!
I nominate pedestrian for Internet of the Year.
Shopworn threads? Not on my watch! New post!
Lawrencia (aka Bambie to most WI residents) was real.
She made Thunder Bay, Ontario infamous (Paul Schaffer made it famous.)
Also, Charlize Theron.
Too.
From actor212’s link:
N.J. man who died from penis injection
I’m gonna be charitable and assume that some form of novelty syringe was involved.
I’m gonna be charitable and assume that some form of novelty syringe was involved.
Sadly….
It was a penile enhancement procedure.
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