You’re So Brave To Expose All Those Popsicle Woes
ABOVE: Debbie Does A Muslim Peesicle
Shorter Debbie “The Other Muslim-Hating Shrieking Harpy” Schlüsselscheiße, www.muslimscankissmyfatbutt.com:
Philly Muslim Ice Cream Truck Driver Had Urine Popsicles to Sell
- Muslims are using the revenue from selling pee-sicles to Jewish kids to fund international jihad*
*The only evidence that Frau Schlüsselscheiße has for this vast conspiracy and hitherto unknown terror-funding mechanism is a bottle of frozen urine found in one ice cream truck that was pulled over with a drunk driver behind the wheel. He did not have “urine popsicles to sell.” It’s not quite clear either how the drunk guy was going to turn a bottle of frozen urine into peesicles but I’m sure that there is a jihadist manual somewhere that explains the process. Still, it seems that peeing directly into the popsicle mold is a much more efficient process. And, not to be overly particular, but the peesicle conspiracy, due to the likely absence of repeat customers, strikes me as an idea unlikely to provide funding for much more than a suicide firecracker attack.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Oh, holy hell.
This is how you de-rail a discussion of the finer points of distilled spirits?!
It’s not quite clear either how the drunk guy was going to turn a bottle of frozen urine into peesicles but I’m sure that there is a jihadist manual somewhere that explains the process.
Jam a stick into it and break the bottle?
Hee hee!
Don’t tell you-know-who.
Incidents like this prompt many of us to claim to be Independent.
Liberals. Hmf
Liberals are just as bad when it comes to ginning up fake controversy.
I don’t have time to keep track of examples. I work for a living.
Liberals. Hmf.
I like that the commenters there (only a few, amazingly enough) seem to think only a fellow terrorist could find Debbie’s theory unlikely.
When I approach the ice-cream truck to ask for my frozen ice Spongebob Squarepants treat sealed in its plastic wrapper, YOU BET I ask how fresh it is. If it wasn’t manufactured in the truck between parking spot and playground I want nothing to do with it.
Now we all know what the flavor of the month is in Trenton.
She points out alcohol is “haram” and assumes this means the guy is a hypocritical devout islamist instead of figuring maybe he’s just not that into religion. The hand wringing about the IRS not getting it’s share is also rich. Yes, it’s a gross story, I’m glad he’s been arrested for drunk driving and the van impounded for sanitation violations etc, but come on, some poor slob peeing in a water bottle is not a fucking jihad, you ignorant ass.
I remember when I was a little kid and the ice cream truck would come by. We’d all run out to the street to get our frozen treats. I always wanted a bomb pop, my sister always wanted an ice cream sammich.
Alex, the kid down the street who dressed kinda funny, always had mittens strapped to his sleeves even when it was 90 degrees and sunny, and spent the entire summer eating clods of dirt in the yard, always asked for the driver’s “special popsicle.” It was always a sickly and totally unappetizing yellow color, but Alex loved his “special popsicle.”
Long story short, that ice cream truck driver got arrested for doing unseemly things with his other special popsicle. Alex is now on the Texas School Board of Education.
There’s a lesson in that, somewhere…
Now YOU know…the rest of the story.
…always had mittens strapped to his sleeves even when it was 90 degrees and sunny…
don’t know why but this almost made me bust out laughing in my cube
Now YOU know…the rest of the story.
Sadly, yes.
I guess this is why I’m a Christian. Who ever heard of a priest doing something perverted?
No claims that Obama was the ice cream guy yet? They are getting slack
When you want only the best analysis of forced urophagia, I guess Debbie’s your gal.
Which one of youse is Gene?
Gene: How can one plan to sell “urine popsicles”, when said urine was stored in a bottle.
Worry01: You store it that way pumpkin, and then melt it down and refreeze it in a popsicle mold.
BRILLIANT!
dammit, beejeez…i was just going to ask which sadly left that comment at pee pee debbies!!!
I hear that there are bathrooms in the ice-cream factory. YES THAT IS CORRECT PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING WHERE THE ICE CREAM IS MADE.
So I posted a comment over there. Let’s see how long it lasts!
21 comments and sadly, no poopsicle?
If only we had a modern day Upton Sinclair to write “ICE JUNGLE: Suspicious Swarthy Foreigners poop and pee within yards of your frozen treats!!!”
So I posted a comment over there. Let’s see how long it lasts!
also, too…i think tigris needs to post her comment over there…my favorite part of this is that they are all yelling for him to be fined and his license taken away…aren’t though ‘government’ functions? should the invisible hand of the pee-free marketplace make the decision?
Heh. So in comments, Gene and Benji reasonably object to the assertion that the drunk had urine popsicles for sale, as opposed to bottles of urine, one frozen. Wingnuts respond:
“You store it that way pumpkin, and then melt it down and refreeze it in a popsicle mold. […] You really do need to work on your taqqiya”
Gotta love these wingnut experts on Islam. Yes, Gene is a muslim plant trying to sully an otherwise rational discussion. And: why freeze the piss the first time, if you’re just gonna melt it down for the popsicle mold? And: do ya know where you’re not likely to find a fucking popsicle mold? In an ice cream truck, or the owner’s dwelling. At risk of being wrong, I argue that ice cream men don’t make their own treats.
“Come on Gene…do we really need to explain to you how it’s done? You surely can’t be that limited in your imagination.”
They’re still convinced that if Gene knew how popsicles are made (liquids (hello! muslim urine?!) are frozen in molds, or, as in the above example, frozen, thawed, and frozen again) he’d see that Schlussel’s headline is unobjectionable. And anyway, what kind of American can’t imagine all sorts of heinous stuff about muslims, and doesn’t enjoy such flights presented as probable? No kind, therefore he’s a muslim hiding behind a tricksy veil of taqqiya.
If only we had a modern day Upton Sinclair to write “ICE JUNGLE: Suspicious Swarthy Foreigners poop and pee within yards of your frozen treats!!!”
oh, this made me laff…and i was just about to exit this place and try to get some actual work done today…damn you helmut…
If only we had a modern day Upton Sinclair to write “ICE JUNGLE: Suspicious Swarthy Foreigners poop and pee within yards of your frozen treats!!!”
Every once in a while one of the workers falls in to the giant, open ice cream vats and sinks slowly out of sight…
…only to re-emerge several hours later and several hundred pounds heavier…
…only to re-emerge several hours later and several hundred pounds heavier…
and then pee out the ensuing fire…
PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING
Finally a Sadly, No! thread that addresses all my needs.
~
CHUCKLES??
Was Tucker Carlson’s house on the route?
Love the comments over there, especially Gene who was pointing out to the nutters that in fact urine is sterile. Gross and smelly perhaps, but not likely to sicken anyone even when stored frozen in a bottle in the same freezer with foodstuffs.
Haven’t these folks ever heard of urine-bombs? Long-haul truckers – the nasty ones, anyway – have made it a habit to piss into water bottles and throw them out the window. It’s become something of an issue in states hosting the major coast-to-coast trucking routes, because…gross. Someone has to go out and pick up all the piss bottles, both broken and unbroken.
Perhaps I should go over there and point this out, lest the commenters form an attachment to the idea that only Muslims piss in bottles.
Since when are ice cream truck drivers expected to be blameless paragons of whatever faith they practice? In Rome do the Jesuits defer to the ice cream vendors on the thornier points of trinitarian dogma? In Kyoto, do the Shintoists hang on the every word of purveyors of frozen treats as pearls of received wisdom? In Jerusalem are the ice cream vendors prized among the Rabbi as interpreters of the Torah? Do the monk of Tibet and Nepal point to the path of the ice cream truck driver as the road to enlightenment?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-x2fWKbmo
PEOPLE ARE POOPING AND PEEING IN THE STREET
~
It couldn’t be that said ice cream person goes to parks and suchlike and gets caught short where there are no public toilets or public toilets that one doesn’t want to use so has a pee bottle in the truck which he keeps frozen for reasons of the smell?
Perhaps I should go over there and point this out, lest the commenters form an attachment to the idea that only Muslims piss in bottles.
well, the schlussel has already firmly implanted it in their minds that all ice cream truck drivers are muslims and vice versa, so i don’t imagine this is far behind…
i’ve also noticed that the schlussel has no advertisers on her site…hmmmm…wouldn’t it be funny if somebody clicked on that link and professed to be a muslim ice cream truck driver?
This sounds like the lowest-budget remake of “Soylent Green” EVAH.
That’s just gross.
Everybody knows things taste awful if you freeze them twice.
It couldn’t be that said ice cream person goes to parks and suchlike and gets caught short where there are no public toilets or public toilets that one doesn’t want to use so has a pee bottle in the truck which he keeps frozen for reasons of the smell?
this has been pointed out to the commenters but so far their response has been ‘unpossible! he’s a mooslim terrist!’
POOPcicles are funnier.
Now THAT is some inside baseball
It couldn’t be that said ice cream person goes to parks and suchlike and gets caught short where there are no public toilets or public toilets that one doesn’t want to use so has a pee bottle in the truck which he keeps frozen for reasons of the smell?
He’s a MUSLIM, of COURSE he was saving it to feed to Jewish tykes. DUH.
Also, too.
Did they find any popsicle molds in the truck, or did he just sell the prepackaged stuff like every other ice cream truck in the country?
Now THAT is some inside baseball
High and inside though.
Ball 1
~
POOPcicles are funnier.
Two girls, one stick?
Did they find any popsicle molds in the truck, or did he just sell the prepackaged stuff like every other ice cream truck in the country?
Stop making sense.
~
direct quote from debbie:
They also determined that the condition of the entire truck and the ice cream was unsanitary.
no, the article you linked to did NOT say anything about the ICE CREAM being unsanitary…
or did he just sell the prepackaged stuff like every other ice cream truck in the country?
exactly! does debbie really think that he’s just selling unwrapped ice cream treats?! i mean, what the hell…people don’t really think she’s a credible news source, do they?
This HAS to be Peak Stoopit™.
.
I haz been slapped down!
This gives me a sad, but I rally:
me <== helper
POOPcicles are funnier.
‘oh, hullloo, miss debbie schlussel! would you like a lovely chocolate dipped frozen banana? special for you, just today…’
Got out the boat. From the comments:
Are you serious?
1) The man’s religion was never mentioned. How do you know he’s Muslim? Hint: there are other religions in the region from which Mr. Hassan likely came.
2) Was there any evidence that the man was trying to sell his urine to anybody? Why no, no there wasn’t.
Please. Get help. Try to control your paranoia.
To which crazy lady replied:
WC: Get a brain, moron. Hassan is a Muslim surname. Even the cops said not to buy ice cream from him, that it’s unsanitary. DS
The insanity is epic over there…
me <== helper
Too close to scary p.e.n.i.s. sign.
Sorry, W.C., we know you tried.
~
wc…i don’t see your comment nor the response over there…what’s up with that?
WC: Get a brain, moron.
Heh! Crazy lady also spelled moran rwong!
Hassan.
Hassan.
So he’s IRISH? Holy fuck, Mr Bunny has REALLY gone downhill.
Hassan.
sub…i feel it is your duty (heh) to go over and post that link for debs…
wc…i don’t see your comment nor the response over there…what’s up with that?
No idea; it’s visible to me and, apparently, Geds too. F5 on the page?
Dammit. <CTL>F5 that is.
We shall piss in France, we shall piss in the seas and oceans, we shall piss with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall poop on the beaches, we shall poop on the landing grounds, we shall poop in the fields and in the streets, we shall poop in the hills; we shall never tighten our rectums!
She reports thing I want to believe, so of course she is a credible source.
Liberals. Hmf.
wc…i don’t see your comment nor the response over there…what’s up with that?
No idea; it’s visible to me and, apparently, Geds too. F5 on the page?
i did find it when i used safari…well, done you two! impressive that the crazy lady herself answered you!!!
Our studies show that within our target demographic the name “Pissicle” is favored by more than 3 to 1 over the name “Peecicle”. Please use the correct name in all future posts. The success of our
jihadnew business venture may be adversely affected otherwise.wc…way to use the link…how long before she has to scream that ‘he LOOKS mooslim?!?!?’
Just saw the new thread. WOW… and they thought the water-fluoridation-communism conspiracy theory was bad. Now Muslims are attacking America by poisoning their kids one at a time with their own urine.
Please. Get help. Try to control your paranoia.
She’s not trying to control it, she’s trying to spread it. Scarier kind of bug than anything you’d catch from drinking urine.
Well, the ice cream truck has started make its rounds here in my neck of the woods again, and no worries, the driver isn’t a Muslim – not even dusky at all. Of course, he does play that creepy “Do Your Balls Hang Low” tune on his truck and I noticed a passing resemblance to John Wayne Gacy but he appears 100% WASP so…no worries.
They also determined that the condition of the entire truck and the ice cream was unsanitary.
There could be rodents in there.
MICE-BLOCKS!
Geds gets a love note from Lil’ Debbie too. W00t!
no worries.
Yeah, selling ice cream in the street usually attracts the best people as job candidates.
From Substance’s link:
Margaret Wood Hassan, a Democratic member of the New Hampshire Senate. She is of Irish background
OR SO SHE SAYS.
Formerly Mr Softee, but no more!
Always go to a reputable ice cream truck, like Mr McCool’s
Just because it’s sterile doesn’t mean our kids should ingest it! What if there are drugs in it? Alcohol we know.
I know an old woman who made and distributed spinach pops to kids. (Really.) You see, kids love popsicles. They think they hate spinach and muslim piss, but they just haven’t tried them done right.
Hey, my uncle Marty is sterile, too… but I don’t want the neighborhood kids putting their lips around him!
.
Yeah, selling ice cream in the street usually attracts the best people as job candidates.
Reminds me of something out of Taibbi’s The Great Derangement. Taibbi was undercover at Rev. John Hagee’s church and going through this kind of group therapy at a retreat when he had to invent a cover story about his “wounds”:
So yeah, those ice cream guys are all a bit shifty. Maybe that’s why Taibbi’s story passed muster.
Holy scriptures always have extensive information about marketing food products made from excreta.
Icing the Cream.
Jeffy you know it hurts like hell freezing my banana every morning, and you never visit anymore.
Riffing on the old racially insensitive children’s joke:
I’m a Muslim, I play trick
I freeze peepee on a stick.
Geds gets a love note from Lil’ Debbie too. W00t!
Awww, I’m an epic failure. I guess that means she’ll never let me touch her boobies behind the gym after the prom.
Pout.
some poor slob peeing in a water bottle is not a fucking jihad, you ignorant ass.
Peehad.
Epic flailure.
Cheech and Chong
Must be someone else’s uncle Marty. Mine was sterial ’cause he got all his junk blowed clean off in the Korean Conflict. Stepped on a land mine.
.
Stepped on a land mine.
Ow. Land mines and cluster bombs: not our best ideas as a species.
In her defense, Debbie is merely following a time-honoured tradition of anti-semitic slander.
Just you wait, loony libs, soon the Mr. Softee song will be replaced by the call to prayer!!!
I thought the Mr. Softee song was the Viagara theme.
In her defense, Debbie is merely following a time-honoured tradition of anti-semitic slander.
At least using the blood of Christian babies in some sort of arcane, Jew-y scenario makes sense. Selling popsicles made of urine for Jihadist profit…not so much…
Also, after she bravely told Whale Chowder that Hassan = teh Mooslim, I celebrated the fact that I suddenly live in Ireland because I work with a guy named O’Reilly. This was her love note to me:
G: Another brainless commenter. No, by that logic, a guy named O’Reilly must be Irish. And a guy named Hassan must be Muslim. And a guy named Shlomo must be Jewish or Israeli. Yup, logic is a stubborn thing, but, sadly, not as stubborn as your moronic attempt at an epic failure of a smart aleck comment. DS
I said this:
So you’re saying that my comment is wrong by dint of the fact that people sometimes leave their apparent place of origin?
Which one of us doesn’t get the message now?
It’s getting moderated as we speak…
Selling popsicles made of urine for Jihadist profit…not so
Do they think that The Free Market has a watersports fetish? I mean, how successful could a pee purveyor possibly be?
My contribution over there:
I’m a dickens, aren’t I?
I bet a peesicle would still taste better than Cap’n Morgan’s… Not gonna find out though, no matter how swarthy the purveyor.
Which made me think of…
Purveying the poopsicle. [ick]
and
Parvez The Peesicle Perveyor of Persia — which almost got me to change my nym.
Uh-oh. I busted out the r-word at Debbie’s place; this could get ugly.
I haven’t trolled a site in ages. What fun!
Do they think that The Free Market has a watersports fetish? I mean, how successful could a pee purveyor possibly be?
I hear some guys pay a premium for that sort of service…
In her defense, Debbie is merely following a time-honoured tradition of anti-semitic slander.
… urine libel, Hostess cupcake desecration…
Dirty bomb pops!
Uh-oh. I busted out the r-word at Debbie’s place; this could get ugly.
Not no mo’. Looks like it’s down the Memory Hole with you…
What, no props for the Taibbi passage? Man, tough crowd. I laugh out loud every time I think about that story.
OK, who’s responsible for this:
because I want to give you a high-five!
Not no mo’
Nah, it’s there.
Dirty bomb pops!
PeeTee hee hee!Tell her Hassan means “Cantor” in Hebrew… maybe the guy was Jewish!
At least using the blood of Christian babies in some sort of arcane, Jew-y scenario makes sense.
The Blood Libel may have been the first excuse when someone wanted to start a pogrom, but it was not the only one. The Well-Poisoning libel was option #2.
Well-poisoning had the advantage of being more flexible. When Philip the Fair decided to suppress the leprosariums in France and confiscate their considerable assets, he cooked up a story that the lepers were planning to poison wells, then tortured people until a few confessed.
A few years later the money ran out so he had to suppress the Knights Templar and confiscate their assets.
Sorry about the lack of spoiler alerts.
Excuse me sir do the Pissicle’s come in any other flavor?
There’s an asparagus flavor, but that’s seasonal.
I laughed, Jennifer!
… urine libel, Hostess cupcake desecration…
I am merely pedantic; tigris is funny with it.
no props for the Taibbi passage?
Loved it. Hadn’t seen it before. I’ve learned that you can’t take the lack of a response to a particular post personally. It may be that it was lame or it may be…ooh! shiney!
What, no props for the Taibbi passage? Man, tough crowd. I laugh out loud every time I think about that story.
Sorry. Been too busy staring at Lil Debbie’s site and hitting refresh with wide-eyed wonderment, in hopes that she will allow my comment through, acknowledge that I did have a valid point, and re-open my hopes for an evening of making out after the Spring Harvest Dance.
I have a fetish for collagen-injected lips, crazy eyes, and crazier theories.
I’m also hoping she’ll ask to look at my pissicle. Otherwise I’ve been keeping this thing in the freezer for a week for nothing…
NormanF begins with a gesture of tolerance:
“You know – all that good stuff is for them.”
Muslims can eat all the peesicles they like, it’s a free country.
“But its not haram for them to harm our kids.”
We have to draw the line somewhere, and NormanF suggests we look to Islamic legal concepts for guidance. So far, so good.
“They slaughter Jewish babies in Israel. The depths of evil that comes from Islam has been plumbed yet.”
I have a fetish for collagen-injected lips, crazy eyes, and crazier theories.
And here I was thinking you had a “Chunky Reese Witherspoon” fetish.
Jennifer, the Taibbi passage was fucking awesome.
She’s disappearing comments, looks like. A comment linking to the wiki page on the surname Hassan has vanished, without trace, making her once again right that the name automatically means the person is of terroristic origin and not, say, Irish.
Propping the Taibbi Passage.
Sweet, all my comments are now “awaiting moderation.”
I expect they’ll never see the light of day.
Googling for ‘ice-cream truck’ and ‘urban legend’ reveals a rich cultural tradition.
I expect they’ll never see the light of day.
Just like Debbie’s poor last brain cell, gasping for air in the dark vacuum of her skull…
And here I was thinking you had a “Chunky Reese Witherspoon” fetish.
Ew. Gross. Who could possibly want to see someone who looks kinda like Reese Witherspoon naked?
Of course, he does play that creepy “Do Your Balls Hang Low” tune on his truck and I noticed a passing resemblance to John Wayne Gacy but he appears 100% WASP so…no worries.
Interesting. It was “she’ll be coming ’round the mountain” in my neighborhood.
I’m just glad he switched from ‘Turkey In The Straw’
And in re Trucker Bombs, the jugs usually survive being tossed to the roadside, grass grows up around them, and when the Highway Department bushhogs the medians…..splat!
I expect we’ll see the first “Pissed-on Highway Department Employee Pissed Off” of the summer here presently.
Interesting. It was “she’ll be coming ’round the mountain” in my neighborhood.
I’m just glad he switched from ‘Turkey In The Straw’
Definitely different trucks. We’ve gotten nothing but “Do Your Balls Hang Low” for the past 3 or 4 years.
BTW, LittlePig, I’m developing a new product and need some guinea pi…er…volunteers to test – would you be willing to test drive a delicious cookie mix?
Tying this thread together with the previous one.
Frozen urine would be pretty sterile, unless you had some weird disease, I’m thinking a pseudomonas infection in which case you are NOT going to be driving around.
Thus the point of the peesicles is to tell the tykesters that they have had wee wee ices and watch them throw up. HA HA until the cops come and then the jihad is kind of over. So the point of the peehad is the publication of the urinoscity, thus Oberleutnant Schlüsselscheiße is Jehadi Joan.
So, if I have her site open at the same time in IE and Firefox, I see totally different comments. Either she’s the worst censor ever, or she’s got the worst comment system ever.
Or, I guess, both.
Definitely different trucks. We’ve gotten nothing but “Do Your Balls Hang Low” for the past 3 or 4 years.
HA! Dumb me. Do Your Balls Hang Low is the same tune as Turkey In The Straw.
Seriously, he finally changed it. Praise Dog.
I knew I shouldn’t have clicked the link… But yes, that does tie the threads together.
Do Your Balls Hang Low is the same tune as Turkey In The Straw.
More like dumb ME. I didn’t know they were the same. The only part of Turkey in the Straw I remember is the chorus. Anyway, leave it up to my gutter-mind to think of it as the “Do Your Balls Hang Low” song.
But, no worries, as the Koran and the Hadiths would say it’s okay to sell this to infidel kids.
They would, huh? If what?
DS’s site is the last site I’d ever go to voluntarily. Too much concentrated willful stupidity.
BTW, LittlePig, I’m developing a new product and need some guinea pi…er…volunteers to test – would you be willing to test drive a delicious cookie mix?
Sure, but it would probably be my son doing the test driving (as far as tasting goes anyhow). An A1C of 7.2 in February last year led my doctor to make me forswear all cookies-cakes-ice-cream, etc.etc . I’ve pretty much lost all taste for the stuff. Now he’s bitching about red meat and tri-glycerides….
But on the good side, I’m down 15 pounds and last A1C was 4.7.
Having a kid do the testing might be even better to see how fool-proof it is and how quickly they could prepare it. What’s his favorite flavor?
Curses! Foiled again! WP, you syphlitic whore.
I know these are all gonna show up eventually, but you might not be here when they do so again, what would be your son’s favorite type of cookie? I’ve got oatmeal choc. chip, oatmeal raisin, triple chocolate, white chocolate macadamia, peanut butter and coconut pecan.
Get a brain, moron. Hassan is a Muslim surname
Heeeyyy, wait a minute…Schlüssel…. So why in the hell is a GERMAN bitching about our country? Get the hell out of a America, you damn kraut!
Definitely the oatmeal raisin.
Two fucking geedunk-mobiles in my ‘hood. One plays “The Entertainer” (theme from The Sting) one plays “Pop Goes The Weasel.”
Ok…now how the hell do I get it to you? Email me – malcontented at comcast dot net.
Man, Scott Joplin would be a big step up.
And “Pop Goes The Weasel” immediately triggers “Punch Drunks” in my mental cinema, so no problems there….
Ok…now how the hell do I get it to you? Email me – malcontented at comcast dot net
OK. I’ve got the day off tomorrow so it shouldn’t be a big deal. I have to get my lawn mower working or Code Enforcement will be unhappy with me (again).
Newt Gingrich has won the war on sheep.
Wish I could get YouTube here. I keep thinking Milton Berle sang “The Entertainer” on The Muppet Show. Gonna drive me nuts until I get to the house.
DS’s site is the last site I’d ever go to voluntarily. Too much concentrated willful stupidity.
Do you see a future filled with Schlüssel rolling?
Hmm… Schlüssel Roll sounds like a pastry.
With scheiße filling….
Muslims are using the revenue from selling pee-sicles to Jewish kids to fund international jihad
God, I hate it when wingnuts share their sexual fantasies like this.
“Ew. Gross. Who could possibly want to see someone who looks kinda like Reese Witherspoon naked?”
I suppose you could ask a Bree Olsen fan.
Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips? Or is that another Bree?
Damned if I remember, Jennifer. Not gonna Google-image search her at work. She’s what I thought of when Chunky Reese came up again.
Newt Gingrich has won the war on sheep.
Newt’s press secretary writes the breathless, overheated prose of a shitty romance novelist. I expect the cover of this one to have a ripped, shirtless Newt, perhaps shielding a busty, crazy-eyed Callista from the ovine onslaught.
Well y’know, it is the first X bars of either number played again & again, over & over.
Those Punch Drunks Stooges: Been popular in one medium or another for almost 80 yrs.
Admittedly, I’ve yet to go outside & pop a cap in one of their tires or pee-soaked delicacies, so it’s not entirely intolerable.
Dwarf Rooskie saucer-men! There was stuff in the Daily Tina Beastweek from that book I’d contemplated typing two lines about & excerpting (all of it completely sensible & in line w/ currently accepted leftist narrative, not a Red dwarf to be seen) but the urge to lie down or something overtook me.
Saved by sloth.
a
rippedshredded, shirtless NewtRose colored glasses for my mind’s eye.
It has to be said:
Debbie Schlussel: Two Boobs, One Pop
Newt’s press secretary writes the breathless, overheated prose of a shitty romance novelist.
My money is on an extensive career of writing fanfic.
I have to get my lawn mower working or Code Enforcement will be unhappy with me (again).
See: System, Repression Inherent in.
Seriously, haven’t all you libs realized the evil of gov’t. yet?
FREEEEE-DOMS!!!
Remember this gem of Debbie’s?
“Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy”
But as it turned out Tinkerbell was in disguise as part of the plot.
I have to get my lawn mower working
Munching the grass?
“Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy”
I’d still do her.
.
.
.
.
What?
Applause for “peehad.”
Teh Taibbi bit made me lol, too.
I have to get my lawn mower working or Code Enforcement will be unhappy with me (again).
Those guys are Nazis. One of them tried to give me a hard time about the alley a few years after I moved in – this would have been the year after I cut down the fricken’ forest of privet hedge the previous owners had let run rampant, so I got pretty fired up about the fact that the alley behind MY house was clear and that he SHOULD have come by 2 years previously before I bought the place and cleaned it up, as it would have saved me a tremendous amount of work. He kept insisting that I needed to clean up the alley, so I walked him out there, pointed out the cornerstakes and that the stuff he wanted cut was NOT on or abutting my property. So Code Enforcement sat and fumed for many years until last year, when they saw their chance to strike.
I got a notice on the door and, since I had just mowed out front, assumed it was in response to the jungle in the back yard. So I mowed the back yard and figured that would be the end of it. Not so. Code Enforcement shows up AGAIN about 3 weeks later. I pretend to have never gotten the first notice, because at this point I can’t imagine what the fuck they’re upset about. Turns out, seriously – they’re complaining about some 10 dead coneflowers in the front flower bed, which I left standing so birds could get the seedheads. I’m asking, “really? You’re making a second trip here over some spent flowers?” They say “we had a complaint from someone so we have to follow up.” I’m like, really? I’ve got a neighbor who’s that big of an asshole? So I chopped down the fucking plants, then went and looked up the code – it stipulates “no uncultivated plants over 10″ in height.” Well, flowers are cultivated plants, even if they’re dead. And I’ve got the city on my ass over 10 dead coneflowers?
That’s when I decided – if anything like that ever happens again, I’m plowing up the fucking front yard and turning it into a corn field, complete with a sign that says, “next time you have an issue with my yard, perhaps you should speak to me about it.” Corn is undisputably a “cultivated plant,” so if anyone wants to get cute with the assholery via Code Enforcement, we can play that game.
“Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips?”
Shit I get it, you’re thinking of the Olsen twins. This Bree’s a porn star. The Olsen twins have never been on my radar, and are strange looking, not at all like Reese Witherspoon.
Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips?
No.
Heeeyyy, wait a minute…Schlüssel…. So why in the hell is a GERMAN bitching about our country? Get the hell out of a America, you damn kraut!
Obviously demanding a copy of the long-form birth certificate is in order.
This Bree’s a porn star
A goddess to certain people.
She has Sheeny notoriety.
Hey, anybody got a link to the Obama “Death Dealer” pic?
AFAF
This is the Bree I was thinking of…Bree Walker.
Hehe, now my comments pointing out her comment deletions are awaiting moderation too.
M.- has LA not banned the continual playing of ice cream truck music? NYC has, thankfully. I used to egg them before that, when they’d park on the corner and play it non-stop for 4-5 hours, but i also lived a few floors up and had the proper vantage and ability to vanish into the surroundings.
I’d still do her.
The real question w/
Tintinactor is who he wouldn’t “do.”has LA not banned the continual playing of ice cream truck music?
Not in my zone! Car alarms are limited to a reasonable period, but nothing seems to stop these two.
No 4-5 hr. park & play here ‘though. They’re like sharks, they keep moving.
Is Bree Olsen the one with the humongous duck lips?
Depends which way their moving: up or down.
M.- has LA not banned the continual playing of ice cream truck music? NYC has, thankfully
We have?
The real question w/ [Tintin]actor is who he wouldn’t “do.”
I believe that it was Descartes who attempted to argue that god must exist because god is the greatest thing imaginable, but that which is real is, by definition, better than that which is merely imagined.
Ergo, there exists nothing that actor wouldn’t do. Descartes must also be able to prove the negative. Inverse. Reverse. Whatever.
Also…I don’t know the strikethrough code.
Who said this
“Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today.”
Joe Biden?
“Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today.”
I’m thinking it’s Newt, feeling vindictive.
Newt was never in the Senate, though.
I might have guessed Feingold, except I can’t imagine him saying it.
Newt was never in the Senate, though.
DOH! Ignore the man behind the cretin, folks.
John McCain
In response to Santorum’s “McCain doesn’t understand enhanced interrogation” idiocy, no doubt.
<strike>
<s> doesn’t work, even if preview pretends it does.
I googled who said that. Heh heh, the old coot gets a bit snarky after a couple of bowls of wee wee icecream.
Well that’s totally a McCain thing to say. I erred by thinking that it had to be someone retired, that no sitting senator would say something so uncivil about a former colleague, and that it had to be a Democrat. I should have known.
Shit…here comes the ice cream truck…
“Alaska Supreme Court suspends Shea’s law license”
Why is this funny? Because . . .
“Shea is a former U.S. Attorney for Alaska who served in the early 1990s. Later, when Sarah Palin was governor, he helped draft ethics reform recommendations for her administration.”
Read more: http://www.adn.com/2011/05/18/1869217/alaska-supreme-court-suspends.html#ixzz1MkoYgDh8
I erred by thinking that it had to be someone retired, that no sitting senator would say something so uncivil about a former colleague, and that it had to be a Democrat
I think it was safe for McCain’s camp to say this because Santorum is a frothy mix of has-been and utter joke.
It was McCain aide Mark Salter actually
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/18/976961/-Santorum:-I-respect-McCains-service,-but-he-still-doesnt-understand-how-torture-works?via=blog_1
Actor- It’s not always well enforced outside Manhattan, I’ve noticed, but there have at least been limits in place for years now. ASFAIK they’re only permitted to play when in motion, and there’s further limits regarding how long they can play on a particular block even then.
“Ron Paul may be the wackiest candidate in the GOP field. But for pure, blind stupidity nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today.”
I’m unfamiliar with Santorum. But I doubt if he could match either Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann in pure, blind stupidity. For some reason, Republicans seem to like their women dumb as boxes of rocks.
something about the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck … I’m too spifflicated yo tpye it.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/rick_santorum.html
I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts.
Rick Santorum
Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?
Rick Santorum
My feeling is, well, if it’s my money, I have a right to judge.
Rick Santorum
The idea is that the state doesn’t have rights to limit individuals’ wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desires.
Santorum is exceptionally dumb. He is more polished than Palin or Bachmann at the sentence level. Idea-wise, however …
“The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical,” former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) told a South Carolina audience yesterday. “And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom.” (My point quoting him is not to debate history, esp. since Santorum is afactual, emotional, shallow.)
And on and on. He is the biggest doofus alive, a dangerous religious fanatic, and a creepy fetus-fondler, which is another story.
Is this the PG13 version of the blood libel?
Or the Pee G 13?
Or the Pee Pee 13?…
OK, I got nuthin’.
“The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical,” former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) told a South Carolina audience yesterday. “And that is what the perception is by the American left who hates Christendom.” (My point quoting him is not to debate history, esp. since Santorum is afactual, emotional, shallow.)
He’s semi-right. If memory serves, the first place the crusaders sacked was the very Christian city of Constantinople, and when they finally got to the actual Muslim lands, Jews (of course, who else?) got it as bad as anyone.
So, while it was aggression, it certainly wasn’t limited to Islam. An early example, I suppose, of what happens when you point pig-ignorant, ass-backwards racists at anyone that looks brown and squeal “Look! He’s Muslim!”
Santorum could care less about history. He’s saying serious-sounding stuff. The broader context is that he likes Christian aggression. “Onward Christian soldiers!” he says later in the speech.
…And means it literally and without irony, is what I’m getting at. And he was a U.S. senator.
But like so many of his kind, he loves aggression but is enraged and indignant if anyone calls it aggression. He wants to do the wrong thing, but still receive praise and adulation as if he weren’t.
So much of the GOP’s ideology reminds me of when little kids tell obvious lies and then get upset when the parents don’t believe them, because the parents aren’t being fair to them or something.
I know this got a little tiresome before, but it’s been a while, so….
Richard John Santorum==Darn, Junior; hot charms!
Plus, Newton Leroy Gingrich==Only once, right-winger.
or:
Growing incoherently.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/9237.html#comment-586620
Alas, I can not find an image and I do NOT have it anymore – I looked.
Rick Santorum is a fine American who is unfairly slammed by the professional left just because he spoke out against the human on box-turtle sexual exhibitions that the Dumbocrats were trying to shove down the throats of schoolchildren when Clinton was president.
Liberals. Hmf.
I read the linked post, and I want to be sure I understand. There’s ONE GUY who DIDN’T DO something (pee popsicles) and to her this provides sufficient proof of a VAST CONSPIRACY to do that thing?
Did this woman graduate from high school? Hell, did she get out of Grade Six? Let’s see what else we can “prove” by this method of argument:
1) I saw a woman driving a car the other day who signaled a right turn then came to a full stop at the red light before turning, thus proving that women can’t drive!
2) The other day, this dude walked past me on the sidewalk and totally didn’t check me out thus proving that he’s gay.
3) Yesterday, I dropped a ball and it fell to the floor, proving that gravity doesn’t work in my living room!
It works for everything!
For some reason, Republicans seem to like their women dumb as boxes of rocks.
And/or straight out of the Uncanny Valley.
Don’t forget the late, great Helen Chenoweth, who combined extreme wingnuttery, gooey religiosity, and deep-down stupiditude with lots and lots of copulation. One of her fellow Idaho Republicans said she was living proof that you can literally fuck your brains out.
They didn’t get around to sacking Constantinople until the Fourth Crusade. They sacked Jerusalem on the First, along with plenty of pillaging, slaughtering of Jews, and other holy activity.
Not one Bear Grylls joke or reference. Not one. For shame…
Don’t forget the late, great Helen Chenoweth, who combined extreme wingnuttery, gooey religiosity, and deep-down stupiditude with lots and lots of copulation. One of her fellow Idaho Republicans said she was living proof that you can literally fuck your brains out.
Oh yes–we remember Helen up here in the Northwest. She is definitely a shoo-in for the dumb bitch hall of fame.
Helen was doing the rabid psycho wingnut thing before it got popular, by the way. Forerunner to the figurative teabaggers.
clark is my new hero…here’s his comment to li’l debbie:
You don’t by any chance like to monger hate, do you? It’s hard to watch an unbiased news video of this story and then read your blatant condemnation of an entire religion. I like that you post the transcript of the story, but conveniently leave out the part at the end where the tow truck driver remarks how wrong and inappropriate it was for him to be driving around drunk and serving ice cream to children. Funny, how a NORMAL person sees the urine in a bottle as a side-effect of a drunk person stuck in a van for hours. Wow, it’s almost as if he thinks people do stupid things when they’re drunk. Imagine that! If you want to condemn people for getting drunk, pissing in water bottles, and putting them in refrigerators, then you should start rounding up obnoxious, white college guys. If you want to try and wrap this into a terrorism angle, then you’re just connecting dots that DON’T EXIST.
I couldn’t even make it past the first paragraph without laughing at the idea that you ACTUALLY think inner-city ice cream vendors are laundering money to terrorist organizations. Wow! After the price of gas, maintenance, ice cream, and wages to live on, that must leave him with a whole 35 cents to donate to his “terrorist brothers back home”. Those remarks are obnoxious, and I am fully aware that you are perpetuating hate against an entire religious organization. How do I know you’re an unabashed racist? Well…
First: you CAN have the name Hassan without being Muslim. SORRY. Just because you might have the name O’Reilly and be considered Irish, doesn’t mean having the name Hassan makes you Muslim. There’s a difference between a COUNTRY and a RELIGION, you idiot. Case in point: the famous actor Kamal HASSAN was actually born to a Hindu family in India. Not only that, but he has been known to consider himself an ATHEIST!
Second reason I know you’re racist: All the news story did was talk about how unsanitary and disgusting this man’s behavior (and vehicle) was. He was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving NOT for selling frozen urine to children. But YOU prefer to make that your central “argument” (used VERY loosely), and then go so far as to try and connect his selling of “urine popsicles” to an act of funding terrorism? Are you SERIOUS?
Third reason I know you’re a racist: In the second paragraph of your “story” you call Hassan…Hussein. That’s right, you did it. No, it’s okay. I’m sure it was a slip-up. I do it all the time. I accidentally called my mom “Hitler” the other day. These things happen.
And before you go off on any tangents, let me just say that I’m a white Catholic male from America. I don’t plant trees, I don’t cry at SPCA commercials, and I don’t always vote for the same people. I believe Mr. Hassan should lose his truck and his job just like any other person would if they were intoxicated and unsanitary while they were supposed to be serving the public.
But still…
I’ve never seen someone cram so much hate and ignorance into 3 paragraphs. Bravo. Freakin’ bravo.
Hear-hear, bbkf. Calling the hypocrites out for their transgressions.
While you’re at it, could you run a few money-changers out of the houses-of-the-holy for us? I’d follow that act!
The thred is ded. 🙁
MB: Exact same two used by Charm City trucks!
I hear both of these catchy, let’s-all-hum-along tunes echoing down the canyons of rowhouses. My rowhouse is perhaps 20 feet from the curb (steps & sidewalk)….and also near a stoplight with a l-o-n-g red cycle.
Also thanks for the strikethough tag. (Didn’t know how to do it until now.)
Clyde: Double Extra points for Philip the Fair AND the Knights Templar! [Also, Mr. Pedant Sez: The idiomatic phrase ‘poisioning the well’ initially implied poisoning by rumor (rather than using actual poison).
Geds: Nifty Descartes riff!
Anonymous: You know who ELSE was a German bitching about our country……?
——————-
This has been a strange thread so far.
As you know, I never(*) leave the boat. I am too poor to afford expensive Brain Bleach. Also I don’t my head to esplode.
Strange and twisted indeed are the mangoes! A jihad funded by pissicles!
Even more fun to read: The exiting tales of Sadlynaut confrontations with crocs and zombies and other denizens of the mango swamp.
———————-
(*) The one and only exception: When the GayPutz does his annual Grand Diva Blogress poll, I leave the boat once every day to go stuff the ballot box for the candidate selected by Our Sadly Overlords. All other times: Always. Trust. The. Shorter.
———————-
I’ll be doing some Night Hawk work. I’ll check in from time to time.
Mr. Thread, he not dead.
Also, bbfk, thanks for clipping clark’s comment and bringing it back to the boat. Clark is one Bad-Dude Alligator Rassler, that’s fer sure!
You know, I’m going to go out on a limb here and and without doing any real research say that the percentage of drunk slob asshole Christians is virtually the same as the percentage of drunk slob asshole Mulims. I’d be willing to bet very big money that there have been several Chritians who have been busted for drunk and or unsanitary operation of an ice cream truck.
I actually went to the trouble of creating another gmail address just to poke at lil’ Debbie one more time:
I am amazed that (my nym, no space)@gmail.com was available.
Actually, since Muslins, religious ones, don’t drink alcohol, I believe you’d find a helluva lot more drunken Christian ice cream vendors.
Won’t somebody please think of the childern!!
Christianity is better than Islam because Piss Christ comes with the stick built-in.
Then the Rabbi said, “Fuck the children!”
And the Priest said, “Do you think we have time?”
Reading this thread has started this fucking ditty bouncing around my head.
I’m actually a bit surprised how well I remember it.
There was longish strand about whiskey and tequila and such things. I almost never drink liquor. However, I some some dessert liquors, particularly a Cuervo tequila. I think it is called Agua?
I generally have two beers a week at a friend’s house. I like wine, particularly whites, but I have had any–jeez, in over a year.
What I like most is the sweet smoke. I’ve liked it all of my adult life. (I had my first joint about forty years ago.) I’m high almost every time I’m here on S,N.
Marijuana also helps me deal with some difficult problems. In my case, I find the sweet smoke a helpful self-medication. (My scrips are for an anti-depressant and a mood-stabilizer.)
Marijuana should be legal. And most certainly medical marijuana.
[Fenwick’s thread resuscitation effort]
This also explains the numerous typos, dropped words, doubled-words, and multitudinous flaws in my comments.
I’m into a bad habit on S,N: I don’t proof here. I let my fingers rip, like I do with my writing. In my stuff, however, I KNOW I’m going to re-visit it and re-write. Smooth it, polish it, tinker with. That’s where I invest my proofing now.
Also I blame Teh Mooz-lums…
I almost hate to say this, but I KNOW THE LYRICS TO THE MR. SOFTEE TUNE.
Found ’em in the Hudson Reporter when I lived in Hoboken 15-20 years back.
Anybody interested??
………………….
Anybody?
Oh please please tell us Mr John!!11!!11
Yeah whatever.
The dreamiest creamiest soft ice cream
You get from Mr. Softee
For a delicious delight supreme
Look for Mr. Softee
My malteds and sundaes
and cones are such a treat
Listen for my store on wheels
Ding-a-ling down the street!!*
The dreamiest creamiest soft ice cream
You get from Mr. Softee
For a delicious delight supreme
Look for Mr. Softee
S-O-F-T-double-E
Mis-ter Softee!!!!!11111
*VDing-a-lingReference
Ergo, there exists nothing that actor wouldn’t do
I draw the line at the dead.
Usually.
I almost hate to say this, but I KNOW THE LYRICS TO THE MR. SOFTEE TUNE.
Big deal! Anyone over a certain age remembers the radio commercials
*koffkoffwheeze*
Now you’ll pardon me, but there seem to be some shapes on my lawn. Them damn kids better not be on there again
Sheet music for Mr Softee song
Oh yeah. I did it from memory, offa that same reprint.
Never moved to NYC ’til 1982.
Also, if’n you got a lawn, you cain’t be in NYC. QED.
Hasn’t anyone ever wondered what they make “Little Debbies” cookies out of?
Also, if’n you got a lawn, you cain’t be in NYC. QED.
It’s a very small lawn.
OK, you know those cobblestones around the trees the city planted? I pulled some of those up and put in petunias. K? Happy now?
Hasn’t anyone ever wondered what they make “Little Debbies” cookies out of?
*glancing at her photos, including her glamour shot*
Lard, apparently.
So, Mr. Actor, we finally meet, face to face.
I hope you, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
clark is my new hero…here’s his comment to li’l debbie:
Damn. That was good.
Of course, he’s the real racist for all that. But still. Well done.
I actually went to the trouble of creating another gmail address just to poke at lil’ Debbie one more time:
You know, now that you’ve been Google-similated, you could always sign up for Blogger.
Super Sarah, commentor extraordinaire:
Gotta watch out for those gotchas. They’re often followed by gotcha trip-ups, which are extremely dangerous.
She hasn’t even been hit with the double-backside blindside gotcha trip-up mega question.
One of the most amusing traits of conservatives is their exceeding butthurt following being exposed as dumbfucks.
Apparently Hip Hop is OK for the GOP when they need it to make a point.
“There’s got to be the preparation on all the candidates’ parts for those gotchas. That’s what the lamestream media is known for nowadays, is the gotcha trip-up questions,” she told Sean Hannity on his Fox News Channel show Wednesday
Apparently, being asked about your own explicit words is a gotcha.
This from the same woman who thought being asked what she thought of the Bush doctrine was a gotcha.
This from the same woman who thought being asked what she thought of the Bush doctrine was a gotcha.
To be fair, for her, it was.
To be fair, for her, it was.
Shame on the reporter for 1) not realizing just how massive ignorant a moron she was, and 2) not helping her cover up the fact that she was.
You lamestream media fascists with your gotchas and getchas and questions about stuff, just trying to keep a whore from sucking her way to the top.
Shame on the reporter for
3) Assuming that she reads books that don’t have like, words, and none of those popups.
3) Assuming that she reads books that don’t have like, words, and none of those popups.
LOLWUT?
You fucking sadlies and your gotcha topics.
She really used the term “lamestream?” What is this, sixth grade?
She really used the term “lamestream?” What is this, sixth grade?
YER lame. Shutup!
She really used the term “lamestream?” What is this, sixth grade?
she and her bff chelle bachmann both use it ad nauseum, which is one of the myriad reasons i cannot take the woman seriously. also, when she is on fox and refers to the ‘lamestream’ media, is she not implying that fox is not ‘lamestream?’ that is to say, isn’t she admitting fox news is not a credible news source?
when she is on fox and refers to the ‘lamestream’ media, is she not implying that fox is not ‘lamestream?’
Lame before media except before Fox…
You’re clinging to the idea that these people have any concept of the idea of a double standard–or if they do understand the concept, actually care.
it’s getting downright fuglier than usual at li’l debbies snack site…from a commenter named ‘mel’:
Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.
niiiiiiiice….
Lame before media except before Fox…
oh! so, it’s like ‘i before e, except after c?’
Watched ABC News last night. One of the teasers was a debate between Stephen Hawking and a 12-year-old about the existence of heaven.
Disappointed.
There was no debate. Hawking was quoted on the reality of a degraded and eventually non-functioning brain.
Twelve-year-old said he had been to heaven, saw Jesus and two apostles. Father provided “proof.” Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things. The End.
I guess that settles it.
Shorter Maggie Gallagher:
Twelve-year-old said he had been to heaven, saw Jesus and two apostles. Father provided “proof.” Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things. The End.
i guess that proves that family values and god will always trump science…
Also, Father of twelve-year-old has a book to sell……….
Sooooooo
Boy claims to have been to heaven (yet is still alive), dad’s got his back and book for the low low price of…
I see no depravity in this situation. I also don’t see a guy preying on the weak minded and one child.
Excellent.
“Jesus told little Timmy about Aunt Martha’s tumor, ergo God exists.”
Amazing to think that Descartes missed that one.
Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things.
WTF? Now , if he had talked about family future things, he might have a case, but really, this is weak, weak sauce.
Okay, now I’ve got “Jesus Stole My Girlfriend” running through my mind.
Not that I’m complaining.
You know, now that you’ve been Google-similated, you could always sign up for Blogger.
I hear all the kids are doing it.
I’ve been tempted but my extended family covers the political range from moderate Repulbican to frothing-at-the-mouth Talibangelical to Tea Partier. No I’m not kidding. I’m also not at all sure I want to deal with them stumbling across a blog of mine.
stumbling across a blog
And you gotta figure the surname Chowder is an unusual one. Unless you’re from India.
FY AT&T
FYiPhone
FYKOPB app
I’m trying to listen to the
king One usurperPresident’s speech. Trying. In vain.WTF? Now , if he had talked about family future things, he might have a case, but really, this is weak, weak sauce.
Did he mention the world ending this weekend? Because I’m thinking somebody got the wrong Jesus.
Also, re this being on ABC news, I take back what I said about Palin, that is pretty fucking lame.
Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.
A ton of the people who died in the Twin Towers probably were liberal jackasses, which largely explains Falwell and Robertson’s “tee hee, they’re dead just like Sodom and Gomorrah!” post-9/11 event. So hey, he got what he wanted. At the cost of 3,000 human lives, but hey, the only problem with that is that there weren’t more liberals in the pile.
Ahhh, compassionate conservatism. Good times.
And you gotta figure the surname Chowder is an unusual one.
Oh ha ha.
====================
Did he mention the world ending this weekend? Because I’m thinking somebody got the wrong Jesus.
“You go to the Rapture with the Juses you have—not the Jeebus you might want or wish to have at a later time, like after the Rapture.”
So true.
I heard the preacher behind the weekend apocalypse and he says it starts at 6 pm in your time zone. I guess the kiwis will tell us how it goes.
“Did he mention the world ending this weekend?”
Father. Has. Book. To. Sell.
Thankfully NPR has been all over this apocalypse story. If not for them, I wouldn’t have had time to prepare.
Still trying to find a virgin.
Father. Has. Book. To. Sell.
Uh oh, guess he’s gonna be TSOL when THE RAPTURE comes. I wonder if he’s got a nice stereo…
Love the comments all over wanting to have Hawkings chair smash into a wall, he’s so stupid, can’t wait to see him tortured in hell, the usual hateful nasty vicious Christian stuff.
Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.
What Chris said, plus:
I haven’t read all the comments, but from what I have read I don’t believe anybody is apologing for this Muslim jackass. They are simply pointing out the absurdity of pinning the actions of one jackass onto 23% of the worlds population.
“I heard the preacher behind the weekend apocalypse and he says it starts at 6 pm in your time zone. I guess the kiwis will tell us how it goes.”
yep. Once the upside downers tell us what’s going on we still have 12 hours to repent. God’s contracts are always full of loopholes.
“Uh oh, guess he’s gonna be TSOL when THE RAPTURE comes. I wonder if he’s got a nice stereo…”
Surely, these true believers are giving away all of their stuff to charity.
See also Pascal’s
wagerthree card Monty.The end is near!
Too bad these morons apologizing for this muslim jackass, and criticizing you, Debbie, didn’t perish in the Twin Towers on 9-11. A few less liberal jackasses to defend islam sounds good to me.
I bet this guy wanted to bomb Palestine after hearing a couple people cheered, and yet here he is doing the same fucking thing. And yeah, “I think he should go to jail for driving drunk on top of losing his job” is really defending or apologizing for someone. Tell you what, in that case I’m also sorry for and totally defending that tiny-brained, terroristic fuck who cheers when innocent Americans die just because they might be to the left of said asshole. I hope he reaps what he sows, and when he’s reaping it that he remembers his words.
OT for Oregon Sadlies into motorcycles:
This is this weekend. You should be there, I will be. There’s a ride on Saturday and a great show/swap meet on Sunday. Weather should be perfect this year. Sometimes the ride route is great, sometimes not, but it’s damn easy to find good roads around here if the group route is not to your liking. And although it’s a “vintage” ride/meet and most of the bikes are old, you don’t have to have an old bike to go on the ride. It’s polite to start near the back if that’s the case though…
“Surely, these true believers are giving away all of their stuff to charity.”
true story – woman refuses to pay her rent, due on the 15th, until after the 21st. Because … because … for some bizarre reason (maybe to have more for hookers and blow before repenting or something). My acquaintance is enforcing the $50 / day late fee.
Deuteronomy 18,20-22:
But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.
And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken?
When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.
So, one way or another, that preacher’s life is going to get interesting this weekend.
Love vintage bikes! Hell, that’s what I started on back in 19koffmumrph. Hafta look into it.
So, one way or another, that preacher’s life is going to get interesting this weekend.
HAHA–I think NOT!
You’re assuming that his followers like, read and stuff. You’re also making the even more preposterous assumption that a single person among them could comprehend this passage.
His life will continue to be the grift mine it was until today.
This is this weekend.
That should be great; the roads will be empty thanks to TEH RAPTUUR and we all know motorcyclists are a bunch of godless goons.
Well except for some. But they’ve probably picked the wrong Jeebus anyway so they’ll be out too, just sad.
Once the upside downers tell us what’s going on we still have 12 hours to repent. God’s contracts are always full of loopholes.
Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.
I’m-a let me finish…
Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.
because Jesus is surely a Blue Oyster Cult fan!
So, one way or another, that preacher’s life is going to get interesting this weekend.
Now you’re assuming that these Christians actually read the Bilbe. Shows how much you know. See, this guy has already been wrong about the end of the world. Apparently that last time God misspoke or muttered or something. This is his second attempt. But this time they’ve got it all straight and God really means it.
smedley sed…
Nah, it’s not the first time for him. He’s got one failure already, back in the 90s I think. Can’t remember the guy who wrote the book but the name of thebook is “When Prophecy Fails” or something very similar.
Also there’s the conveniently ignored passage in Matthew I think it is “no one canknow the hour ofmy coming.”
But downwards.
Johnny Pez, @17:33
Typical liberal, putting Descartes before the whores.
The wiki has an excellent summary of the book – go read it now.
You guys may be right. My assumption was that, of all the books in the Bible, Deuteronomy and Leviticus would be the two that they actually WOULD read. Cuz they have all the hatin’ and proscriptions and such.
Now you’re assuming that these Christians actually read the Bilbe. Shows how much you know. See, this guy has already been wrong about the end of the world. Apparently that last time God misspoke or muttered or something. This is his second attempt. But this time they’ve got it all straight and God really means it.
At least he will until the 22nd, when it’ll become obvious that he must’ve misspoken or something.
I heard the preacher behind the weekend apocalypse and he says it starts at 6 pm in your time zone.
On which day? I’m thinking of spending an outrageous amount of money to watch the Lighning and the Bruins play hockey. And I figure that gaolies probably pray an awful lot, so will probably be raptured up and I just don’t think it will be worth it to watch a game with no goalies.
I would watch a game with no goalies.
This is his second attempt. But this time they’ve got it all straight and God really means it.
The “oh, I forgot to check my math” excuse cracks me up.
Christians treat the bibble like an EULA. They don’t actually read it, just click on ACCEPT.
I would watch a game with no goalies.
First hockey game in history that won’t be criminally boring.
At least he will until the 22nd, when it’ll become obvious that he must’ve misspoken or something.
He’ll just move the goalposts, saying it’s the beginning of the end.
It’s like NASCAR. You go to see the
crashesfights.“The “oh, I forgot to check my math” excuse cracks me up.”
“I forgot to carry the one! This changes everything. Nevermind.”
At least he will until the 22nd, when it’ll become obvious that he must’ve misspoken or something
he says the first time his bibilical research was ‘incomplete’ and this time is the real deal…heard a hilarious radio interview yesterday with an old coot farmer from minnesota who believes this…but he’ll only commit to 80% belief…there’s still a 20% chance that he won’t get raptured…he’s not sure how he will feel should he wake up on the 22nd…interview digressed and he ended up talking about his brother ‘earl’ who is now known as ’emily’…while earl did not have any surgery, he did have a ‘trick’ he used to fool people…radio host could barely speak he was so constricted with laffter…it was awesome…also, earl/emily is now in teh old folks home…
“Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.” — Isaac Asimov
Christians treat the bibble like an EULA. They don’t actually read it, just click on ACCEPT.
Oh, I am so stealing this.
It’s like NASCAR. You go to see the crashes fights.
I figure at least some of the skill players will also get raptured up, so that just leaves the goons and refs (who are definitely in the devils camp). So there won’t be many more goals scored than there would be with goalies, but the PIMs will go through the roof.
fywp…how can you detect a duplicate comment when the effing thing isn’t posted?!?!? huh? riddle me that!!!
It’s like NASCAR. You go to see the
crashesfights.I’d totally be a NASCAR fan if the cars would fight!
I’d totally be a NASCAR fan if the cars would fight!
I’d watch it if they took the seatbelts and helmets away.
“Skill players!” You callin’ me unskilled, mofo?
I watch NASCAR for the music acts.
To the Oregon bikers: If you make it down for the ride and/or show — track me down and introduce yourselves. I’ll be on a red 2007 Triumph Thruxton — I’ll probably be the only one…
“Skill players!” You callin’ me unskilled, mofo?
That all depends on which NHL goalie you are.
I watch NASCAR for the wardrobe malfunctions.
tsam, you should have seen the last game – 6 to 5 and some really slick goals. But I am a hockey fan so I’m biased.
As for the rapture, I plan on being very pleasantly buzzed up on Oregon beer.
I watch hockey for the fashion. And dentistry.
I’ll be on a red 2007 Triumph Thruxton — I’ll probably be the only one…
You could also call yourself Oregon Bike Snob!
I would have guessed you were a 1952 Vincent Black Lightning type of guy.
I watch hockey for the fashion. And dentistry.
I bet with a full field of 33 cars or so, they even can achieve a mouthfull of teeth.
So, is anyone here not Tintin or Carl Salmonella?
Let’s see YOU catch a puck at 90 mph………………with your teeth!
Oh please, I do that all the ti–ooooh, you said “puck.”
I love that song — listened to it just yesterday! And yeah, if I had the dough necessary to own a Vincent, I would. There’s a great guy here in town that actually has a few of them — very unassuming retired professor. He’ll probably be at the show. My favorite of his is his Norvin
To all the Oregon bikers: I will be on a red Ducati Sport 1000s. So if you see me come say hi. Except, I will be in Wisconsin, so if you see me from Oregon, you are probably on top of a tower that reaches almost all the way in to space, so I wouldn’t hear you, even if you yell really loud. And I won’t be riding it, I will be looking at apartments with my girlfriend. And it is supposed to storm Saturday, so even if I had the day free, I probably wouldn’t take it for a ride.
I bet with a full field of 33 cars or so, they even can achieve a mouthfull of teeth.
Well, at least the cars would have grills.
Or, as TiDoS Yankee would say, gree-yulls.
Why can’t everyone just do what we want because we say so?
What a terrible place to be.
Hockey, on the other hand, has boobs.
I watch hockey for the fashion.
Ah, for the real cutting edge in fashion you need to go to the minor leagues. And my all time favorite, the Las Vegas Wranglers, the Bakersfield Condors, the refs, and the goal judges all wore special uniforms for Rod Blagoyovich prison jersey night.
“Do the monk of Tibet and Nepal point to the path of the ice cream truck driver as the road to enlightenment?”
I don’t know, but I think I’ll take it up as a koan.
Oops, shoulda been one more link to hockey fashion. Preview lied to me once again.
Hey! Baseball has boobs, too!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=luke+scott&aq=f&aqi=g10&aql=&oq=
I think there’s a wealth of new sutras and gospels waiting to be written that can speak to the 20th century world in a way that stories about shepherds and kings cannot. As an atheist, I am unlikely to write ‘the parable of the senior hydrological engineer’ or the ‘Epistle to the the aspiring reality television stars’ or the ‘Testament of Saint Billy Ray’ but i might read them if only for the comedy value.
I couldn’t press my boobs against the glass. My tummy would get there way before my chest.
Hey! Baseball has boobs, too!
I was amused.
“I couldn’t press my boobs against the glass. My tummy would get there way before my chest.”
This is where the similarities between Jonah and I end.
Pressing the Boobs!
Typical liberal, putting Descartes before the whores
Extra points for Hopeye.
And me.
So, is anyone here not Tintin or Carl Salmonella?
I don’t know what I mean.
Sorry…I’m just askeert M. Bouffant and/or smut clyde will yell at me.
“They respected the majority of their classmates and didn’t say anything,” Quinn said. “We’ve never had this come up before. Never.”
“And when they did, swirlies until they learned to keep it zipped and to RESPECT THE MAJORITY OF THEIR CLASSMATES.”
Helmut, are you 77south? Wasn’t that the Duc guy up there in the midwest somewhere?
Gah. You nymchangers are all alike, I can’t keep you straight. I’ll just call all y’all tintin from here on out.
The majority is always right, which is why slavery is still legal.
“They respected the majority of their classmates and didn’t say anything,”
If you are driving in Bastrop you will find that Respect is a one-way street.
Twelve-year-old said he had been to heaven, saw Jesus and two apostles. Father provided “proof.” Such proof consisted entirely of twelve-year-old knowing things that he could not have known. What things? Family history things. The End.
A monastic student asks his master about the existence of an afterlife. “I have no idea,” the teacher replies. “But you are a Zen master,” the frustrated student exclaims. “True,” says the teacher, “but I am not a dead Zen master.”
” I can’t keep you straight.”
I’m pretty sure Tintin can’t be kept straight either.
Keeping it straight.
So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?
Or is it going to be the rotten mango flesh of future entries?
you can still pray you stupid twatnozzle! you just do it quietly…ya don’t have to have it publicly recognized to pray…also, was there a vote to see if a prayer should be said, and if so, who to pray to? if not, then your minority/majority argument falls flat, dumbass…
tsam, you should have seen the last game – 6 to 5 and some really slick goals. But I am a hockey fan so I’m biased.
I was just being trollish. I have no issue with hockey or even soccer which is not football but is actually soccer even if you’re not playing in my beloved USofA so get it right stupid foreigners.
So, is anyone here not Tintin or Carl Salmonella?
VS: Have you lost your Double-Secret Sadlies Identity Roster?
“Why does one person get to decide what more than 200 of us do?”
this would be a good question to ask the pope…
I’m pretty sure Tintin can’t be kept straight either.
But he ISREAL.
Helmut, are you 77south?
Ditto.
Wasn’t that the Duc guy up there in the midwest somewhere?
Yes.
So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
I never, never thought I’d see the day when –
Wow. Seriously? Holy shit. WOW.
Sorry, but I never thought I’d see the day when a President of the United States had the balls to tell the Israelis to go back to the 1967 borders.
Now, admittedly… those words gotta be backed up. And he’ll have a lot of trouble with that since I don’t think Congress has the spine to do it, but still… that’s a hell of a gauntlet. “Shitstorm” is right. I know what PJM’s leading articles are going to be about tomorrow… maybe even this afternoon.
Kari Payton, class valedictorian.
That there is one smart grajee8tin class.
Forcefully stepping into an explosive Middle East debate, President Barack Obama
it would have been nice if he would forcefully strode…
“I’m wondering why,” said Kari Payton, class valedictorian. “This is something that’s been done for years – forever – and now that we’re graduating we can’t show reverence and honor to our God?”
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men….. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen…”
As an atheist, I am unlikely to write ‘the parable of the senior hydrological engineer’ or the ‘Epistle to the the aspiring reality television stars’ or the ‘Testament of Saint Billy Ray’ but i might read them if only for the comedy value.
I believe, then, that you might enjoy this:
Lamentations
So what kind of shitstorm you think is going to result from this speech?
First reaction I saw was from an increasingly wingnutty pastor “friend” on the Book o’ Faces:
“Stunning Speech from Obama today on his anti-Israel vision for the middle east. He keeps revealing his agenda. Will we listen?”
I’m constantly teetering on the edge of my, “Don’t start shit on Facebook,” policy over this one.
There are some really nasty rotten mangoes just in the first couple pages of OVER 10,000 comments at the linked article. Pammycakes is gonna flip right the fuck out — probably already has, but I sure as hell am not going to check it out.
Hey! Baseball has boobs, too!
Sadly, yes, if one is a fan of the Baltimore Woes. Which I am. I want Felix Pie in LF. I hope they move Scott in the off-season, or–even better–move him to a contender this year before the trade deadline.
I want Felix Pie in LF.
I like pie!
Was he grinnin’ as he was steppin’?
There are some really nasty rotten mangoes just in the first couple pages of OVER 10,000 comments at the linked article. Pammycakes is gonna flip right the fuck out — probably already has, but I sure as hell am not going to check it out.
Yeah, the shitstorm verily hath begun.
Was he grinnin’ as he was steppin’?
He may have been fetchin’ as he was steppin’.
I am found out! I am 77south, and I am Helmut Monotreme. On most other forums I am still 77south but once I saw the name Helmut Monotreme posted, I had to steal it. I think Smut Clyde posted it as a possible name for little Dudeskull.
FUCK! I KNEW I was missing an interesting speech. FUCK FUCK FUCK
Yeah, the shitstorm verily hath begun.
I don’t feel like wading in– not when I can go play Mah Jongg in a little bit– but I wonder if this is going to reinforce the “stealth Muslim” lunacy.
I am not a homophobe.
but I wonder if this is going to reinforce the “stealth Muslim” lunacy.
Do you think, Denozzo?
I hate the gays because god tells me to.
Ah, Yahoo comments. What a marvelous, spittleflecked cesspool.
They stopped having them for a while a ways back. Pity, that. They are such a perfect example of the greater internet fuckwad theory.
HAHAHAHAHA MUSLIM NAME! The stupid hurts.
“Lamestream media” is ableist. Trig haz a sad.
I have no idea what else you people are talking about because my ADD kicked in about 2/3s of the way through the thread.
Helmut,
I think both our nyms came from a post about freeping a poll somewhere. Damned if I can’t remember whose, though. I couldn’t resist either.
I have no idea what else you people are talking about because my ADD kicked in about 2/3s of the way through the thread.
Oh yeah, like we know what we’re talking about.
I have to say, every time I’m all pouty and I’m done with Obama etc etc etc, he does something totally badass. I almost hate him more for that.
Sorry…I’m just askeert M. Bouffant and/or smut clyde will yell at me.
Oh, crap, NOW what did you do?
The American Likudniks will SO freak out! (Alsothe Let’s-Hasten-the-Rapture talibanjelicals.)
This is going to be even more entertaining than the Mooslim Triumph Mosque in NTC. I must add popcorn to my grocery list!
I have to say, every time I’m all pouty and I’m done with Obama etc etc etc, he does something totally badass. I almost hate him more for that.
I know, Obama will counter insanity with sanity, but when they double down on the insanity Obama is not often willing to double down on the sanity.
Surprise of the day:
They should get to keep Golan Heights–just like we kept North Africa, France, Germany and Japan, right?
Oh.
Obama is not often willing to double down on the sanity.
Sanity is a limited resource. Insanity is not. Difficult to double down on a singular state of being.
Sanity is a limited resource. Insanity is not. Difficult to double down on a singular state of being.
Sadly, yes.
Do you think Obama’s courageous foriegn policy is just because the world is going to end on Sunday?
I hate the gays because god tells me to.
Scott Lively doesn’t hate the gays, he’s just acting as God’s pimp when God needs to have his luggage lifted:
Scott Lively says that God recently gave him a prophecy that He “would soon use me to lead some homosexuals to Him”
I think both our nyms came from a post about freeping a poll somewhere.
Freeping the poll…
Remember all the times the United Snakes has righteously used Flouting-of-UN-Resolutions as a casus belli for our Just Wars?
Israel has flouted U.N Resolution 242–requiring withdrawal to the 1967 borders–for forty-three fucking years.
” tsam said,
May 19, 2011 at 20:46
Do you think Obama’s courageous foriegn policy is just because the world is going to end on Sunday?”
Ok, ThaT was funny. Maybe Obama’s not so bad after all. I woulda just had an orgy. Screw sane foreign policy.
Flouting the Resolution
A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.
I woulda just had an orgy
Exhibit 27 in the case to prove that VS is better than BHO.
I rest my case.
As I–that is to say, as WE–never leave the boat, we trust that intrepid and fearless Sadlynauts will return with mangoes, however mangled, rotten, and decayed they may be.
PeeJ is destroying the internet wit da funnay biznass today.
16 martinis coming up.
The EULA thing–brilliant.
Exhibit 27 in the case to prove that VS is better than BHO.
I rest my case.
The verdict is unanimous. Let’s all go to the jury room and orgy down!
or:
polling the freep
…Sadlynauts will return with mangoes, however mangled, rotten, and decayed they may be.
The mangoes, not the Sadlynauts. I know the Sadliesare mangled, rotten and decayed. Mr. Avoidable Ambiguity haz a sad.
Israel has flouted U.N Resolution 242–requiring withdrawal to the 1967 borders–for forty-three fucking years.
Aren’t there several UN nuclear weapons bans they’re flouting as well?
A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.
We’re terribly disappointed that the world will end on Saturday, because on Sunday the worthies from Westboro Baptist (the “God Hates Fags” crowd) were going to come to town to picket several places of worship, at least 2 Episcopal and one synagogue. But I guess that won’t happen now…
He may have been fetchin’ as he was steppin’.
ok, my antiquated racist stereotype generator is out of whack today. Newt Gingrich regrets the inconvenience.
at least 2 Episcopal and one synagogue
Aha! “Piscopalians! That puts us right back on topic.
Seconded! (or thirded, or fourthded, or whatever). I’m so stealing that.
PeeJPup.Tintin wins the internet.A: Are you going to lend it to him?
B: Do you have another?
mature Christians know that a sin is a sin is a sin. They are different in form, but equal in their effect: separating us from God.
exactamundo! so, when you stop sinning everyday, scott, let me know…mmmmkay?
Can the boat swim farther away from Michigan shores please? Dumbie Schlopnoggin with never yammery pie hole of bullshit is one the worst examples of our residents. Quite the embarassing asshole she is.
Quite the embarassing asshole she is
She is an epic dumbass. I do have to say that watching her strap it on and violate Hannity was gratifying, in a bum fight sort of way…
I do have to say that watching her strap it on and violate Hannity was gratifying, in a bum fight sort of way…
When was this?
Oh, Google’s my friend, it was the “Freedom Concert” scam.
Gotcha man!
To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas.
A friend just asked if he could borrow my trap gun to shoot floating rapturists Saturday.
Nah. I am trying to round up a surplus anti-aircraft set, you know, mounted on a half-track.
No luck yet on eBay.
And flame throwers. Glowing globs all the way to the stars.
And imma gonna steal their shit, too.
He has an unfair disadvantage
i wish i had an unfair disadvantage…
Oh, Google’s my friend, it was the “Freedom Concert” scam.
That’s right. It sure died down in a hurry, though. I’m guessing Debz got cut in on the profits.
Palin offered her diagnosis on a pair of Fox cable shows Wednesday, and used Gingrich’s latest woes as an example of why Republican presidential hopefuls should avoid the traditional media.
Worked so well for her. Who better to advise Gingrich on how to win elections? Oh the condescension.
it starts at 6 pm in your time zone. I guess the kiwis will tell us how it goes.
AK and I will be maintaining radio silence from 18.00 on. Expect a half-completed comment. Well, even less completed than usual.
To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas.
Don’t worry Kirk. We all know in 3 days, you’ll be the one laughing with your wings and your harp!
Don’t worry Kirk. We all know in 3 days, you’ll be the one laughing with your wings and your harp!
Wait: We can pick who raptures?
Ooooh.
AK and I will be maintaining radio silence from 18.00 on. Expect a half-completed comment. Well, even less completed than usual.
You know, if we were to co-ordinate with bloggers around the world we could totes freak out the rapturists in a huge way. If done right, I think we could easily outstrip the hysteria from Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds.
I DO NOT WANT to be raptured. Me and Mrs Cat will be just fine and we will go to Marbecks and use all their wireless and listen to all their records. Damn it’s going to be nice and quiet without people whining about how only jebus loves them just because they are humourless dildos full of hate.
One of the Sadlies will be able to fly a Lear jet down to here and you can all come and we’ll have a commune, taking turns to make executive decisions.
One of the Sadlies will be able to fly a Lear jet down to here and you can all come and we’ll have a commune, taking turns to make executive decisions.
We’ll also have to take turns to make insane whinger conspiracy theories. Otherwise, we’d have nothing to talk about.
“Who do you think is right?
1. Kirk Cameron
2. Stephen Hawking
3. They both make some good points
4. Neither, my thoughts are somewhere in the middle”
“Who do you think is right?
No Tony Hawk option????
Some quiz if the drop dead kick ass champion of the world doesn’t get a look in.
on the other hand, has boobs
Apparently Substance has boobs on his hand. That’s gonna make it awkward finding gloves that fit.
You forgot 5. Pie
WTF? How do you conduct a poll without the gratuitous knee slapper of a totally irrelevant answer? Come on now.
Some quiz if the drop dead kick ass champion of the world doesn’t get a look in.
This isn’t Tony Hawk, it’s Chuck Norris. Sheesh.
taking turns to make executive decisions.
I know what mine is! Clothing is hereby unlawful! W00t!
Now we just need to lure a Swedish Bikini Team to the commune.
I got PLANS, MUTHAFUCKAHS! PLANS.
I vote for pie…
I vote for pie…
which is why i will veto the unlawful clothing act of 2011…i like pie too much, and nobody needs/wants to see that…
AK and I will be maintaining radio silence from 18.00 on. Expect a half-completed comment. Well, even less completed than usual.
I knew I could count on y’all.
Also, too, with the impending rapture, I’m gonna hafta vote 1. Kirk Cameron.
Hell is for children.
One of the Sadlies will be able to fly a Lear jet down to here and you can all come and we’ll have a commune, taking turns to make executive decisions.
Major Kong flies the Lear jet, of course. I looking forward to seeing the Upside Down part of the world, especially the mountains of New Zealand. (They are Remarkable, or so I understand….)
And we can have deep discussions about the proper origin and just exercise of Soo-preme Executive Power.
taking turns.
You’re all IDIOTS!
They are Remarkable, or so I understand….
Fiqszed.
Popcap used to host a competitive online magnetic poetry type game called “Psychobabble.” You could generally win the voting for a given round with a deeply nasty sentence like “The men took turns.”
The idea (so far as I could tell) was to sexualize or otherwise subvert whatever words were supplied, by means of a figure of speech. My above example doesn’t need one, but you couldn’t win three rounds running without one.
Very big sammich.
The poem here deserves a plug.
Very big sammich.
I laffed.
You forgot 5. Pie
Wrong. Pie wears18. And he should be playing Left Field for the Orioles. Aren’t you people paying attention?
Woyzeck’s pissing in the street.
Woyzeck’s pissing in the street.
Back on-topic again!
Some acquaintances are planning to place clothes here and there to point out to their rapturist neighbors. I would love to participate in said trollery but here in godless Portland i have seen no rapturists and besides, there’s frequently clothing lying around anyway (though in the case, naked people are commonly found cavorting nearby).
there’s frequently clothing lying around anyway (though in the case, naked people are commonly found cavorting nearby).
No wonder there are no rapturists, you’re in heaven already!
This thread is lacking Zombeez.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/federal-funding-cuts-put-us-risk-zombie-attack/story?id=13638676
Zombee reference kills thread.
you’re in heaven already!
In heaven it doesn’t rain so much. Mostly sunny. City of Roses? NOT HEAVEN.
This thread is lacking Zombeez.
Happy to help.
City of Roses? NOT HEAVEN.
Next you’ll be telling me the nekkid people aren’t all nubile nymphs!
Hmph.
I’ve said before, but this time, dammit, I mean it:
Come on guys, there’s nothing funny about mental illness.
Smut Clyde said,
May 20, 2011 at 0:50
This thread is lacking Zombeez.
Happy to help.
Replace the word “Zombeez” with “our Galtian overlords”, and you have a documentary.
~
Ha ha haha ahahah
visit my blog: http://www.lordofsins.blogspot.com
Brazilian greatings
Also, for the record (not to mention CDs, youtubers, and what have you), I do not approve of Smut Clyde’s (IF that is his real name!) promotion of the the h8full book, 5 Very Good Reasons To Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth.
~
I’m pretty sure Tintin can’t be kept straight either.
Boy howdy, isn’t that the truth?
I mean, not that I know…
I mean, not that I know…
Of course not.
We are waiting for Carl to clear things up.
And then point and laugh at the Donalde.
We are waiting for Carl to clear things up.
Carl’s on a plane, I think. Actually, airlines beg him to fly with them
Carl’s on a plane, I think. Actually, airlines beg him to fly with them
Oh. I thought he was flying his plane. You know, piloting and all.
My bad.
I thought he was flying his plane. You know, piloting and all.
I think someone borrowed his Lear. Possibly
TinTinDA.Or Carl’s white-shoe litigator.
That’s what I heard.
Or Carl’s white-shoe litigator.
DA’s
SEKhis lawyer?Carl is white-shoe alligator?
Flying his/the plane.
Jiggling the joystick
Tired of old, worn-out Jihad Pissicle thread. Needs moar sparkles.
Fenwick, you need new, improved Cialiphate! It will straighten your minaret! It will toe your camel! It will oil your penguin!
Billboard Top 20 for 1967
1 Lulu …………. To Sir With Love
2 Box Tops ………… The Letter
3 Bobby Gentry ………… Ode To Billie Joe
4 Association ……….. Windy
5 Monkees ………… I’m A Believer
6 Doors ………… Light My Fire
7 Nancy Sinatra and Frank Sinatra ………… Somethin’ Stupid
8 Turtles …………… Happy Together
9 Young Rascals ………… Groovin’
10 Frankie Valli ………… Can’t Take My Eyes Off You
11 Music Explosion ………. Little Bit O’ Soul
12 Tommy James and The Shondells ……….. I Think We’re Alone Now
13 Aretha Franklin ……….. Respect
14 Stevie Wonder …………. I Was Made To Love Her
15 Bobby Vee and The Strangers…………. Come Back When You Grow Up
16 Buckinghams………… Kind Of A Drag
17 Arthur Conley ……….. Sweet Soul Music
18 Soul Survivors ………… Expressway To Your Heart
19 Sam and Dave ……….. Soul Man
20 Association …………….. Never My Love
Gee, thanks, Mr. Oregonian Brewery Person! This thread has been saved by new, improved Cialiphate!
[voiceover:]
Right you are, Fenwick. Cialiphate IS new and improved, with extra whiteners and brighteners…new additives to preserve freshness …and a bold new chipotle zing in its secret Special Sauce!
And remember: Cialiphate is never frozen and always urine-free!
Not a chance, AK and Smut are sure to be raptured.
Hey BBBB, I’ll still be here, burnin’ up in the volcanos that we’ll be getting until the final showdown in October.
Told the boss this morning that we can stop working on the conference preparations: since the saints float away on the weekend and the rest of the world goes to hell in October, there won’t be anyone left to come to our conference in November.
Except maybe Satan, and I doubt if he’s interested in DNA barcoding.
Except maybe Satan, and I doubt if he’s interested in DNA barcoding.
MARK OF THE BEAST.
Mr. Imposter Low-Salt Person:
Strange you chose this year. I was HS class of ’67.
Much of the music I liked best–and listened to most–wasn’t ‘mass-appeal’ stuff that climbed very high on on the Billboard Charts. Like Bob Dylan, for example.
In any event, “Respect” and “Soul Man” held up rather well, didn’t they?
Release the kraken?
Ah. 1967, the year I was born. What, no Beatles?
What, no kraken?
Boy did I roll up on roadkill.
I just had some badass sushi and about a gallon of Asahi. Night: complete
69. There’s a year.
Grease the cracker
FENWICK!!!!!!!!!!!
I was just curious about 1967 since it was in the news a little bit today;
but also have been reading Gram Parsons’ bio and he went to L.A. and met David Crosby that year.
I was in 7th Grade.
Not actually bad for Top 40, except sap-fests 1 Lulu …………. To Sir With Love & 20 Association …………….. Never My Love.
I have fond to vague memories of all the rest.
Happy Together. Sadly, poor Leslie Cheung (the tragic character from this film) killed himself in (I think) 2003, by jumping from a hotel window. Kong Kongers were devastated.
POONIS!
Billboard Top 10 for next week.
1. Where have all the cowboys gone?
2. Hit the road Jack
3.Wishin’ and Hopin’
4. There’s a Kind of Hush
5. I Should Be So Lucky
6. Up Up and Away
7. Up Up Up in a Puff of Smoke
8.Since You’ve Been Gone
9.Die Yuppie Die
10. Tonight by Rapture Ruckus
I know we’ve moved on to zombies and the rapture and all, but someone had to post this dramatic interpretation of the latest Schlusselschrift crystallized to its core essence:
As I thought. PJM has two articles on Obama’s speech so far: the first explains that this is the inevitable consequence of trying to be nice to the Arab street which is just going to keep asking for more, and therefore in line with his Cairo speech and his support of those uppity darkies demanding democracy, all of which was bad.
Money quote:
Bless his heart: he actually thinks Bush would’ve been able to throw Khamenei and Assad to the crowds first (hint: you can’t give people what you don’t control). And he appears not to’ve noticed that the Obama policy towards Bahrain and Saudi Arabia has largely been limited to sitting by and watching Saudi troops crush the uprising with little to no commentary.
I’ll still be here, burnin’ up in the volcanos that we’ll be getting until the final showdown in October.
Serves Alison right for choosing to live on such a geologically-unstable chunk of land.
Serves Alison right
I think the whole point is that it serves us all right for our wicked, wicked ways. Repent Smut.
The other article is standard “Obama helping radical Islam” trash, but it started with this:
Actually, the only people I remember disparaging and ridiculing democratization in the Middle East were the guys on the far right (or the right, what’s the difference) who thought it was silly to believe that savage brown Mohammedans had it in them to operate a democracy. (In other words, the same people you see in PJTV’s comments sections).
What Democrats and Obama supporters disparaged and ridiculed was 1) the idea that you could impose democracy at the point of a gun, and 2) the notion that the Gooper undertaking in Iraq had anything at all to do with democracy (it took direct threats from Sistani to get the CPA to agree to the very basic democratic practice called “elections.”)
he actually thinks Bush would’ve been able to throw Khamenei and Assad to the crowds first
If anything, Bush helped them solidify power by invading Iraq and basically threatening both Syria and Iran with military incursions (if in fact they didn’t happen anyway).
AND BUSH MADE NICE WITH GHADDAFY!
Do these idiots not remember even ten years back????
Actually, the only people I remember disparaging and ridiculing democratization in the Middle East were the guys on the far right (or the right, what’s the difference) who thought it was silly to believe that savage brown Mohammedans had it in them to operate a democracy.
Please come with me, sir. There’s a chair in
Room 101the re-education facility waiting for you.Do these idiots not remember even ten years back????
They’ll forget yesterday if it serves their one true goal in life: pissing off
liberalssane people.~
For someone who doesn’t like peecicles, Debbie’s been munchin’ on that thing for awhile.
I have it one good authority that piss jugs are simply the way of the road.
He’s just grumpy ‘cuz I ripped off his arms and used them to beat him about the head and neck.
Totally true.
BTW, I made my mother go see that movie with me, and we agreed it lived up to its title. Still, I dig it.
Some of my favorite lines are in this scene:
“His head fell off.”
“His head fell off.”
Don’t let the little head fall off for the big head!
OT:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a79/wonderwes/obama_wearing_ray_skidmores_stetson.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.wonderouswes.com/2007/05/welcome-to-summer-time-love-your-ac.html&usg=__RLQ0kB_6OKD1b8nyfLYKqsrvpkY=&h=359&w=425&sz=36&hl=en&start=8&zoom=1&itbs=1&tbnid=gbpvUx5ChBZ1vM:&tbnh=106&tbnw=126&prev=/search%3Fq%3DObama%2Bstetson%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1226%26bih%3D779%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disz:m%26tbm%3Disch&ei=DHLWTeyIBcbW0QGrs6nDBw
Link fail.
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a79/wonderwes/obama_wearing_ray_skidmores_stetson.jpg
Repent Smut.
Salvation porn sounds boring.
RE: the 12-year-old who “met Jesus”: the kid claimed Jesus had blue eyes. Which means his author dad is not only a horrible reprobate for forcing his son into such a monstrous lie, but is also a fucking dumbass w/r/t genetics, history, etc etc etc. Please note said book is on the bestseller lists. What this means is that out of the subset of Americans who can still read, a good portion of them don’t know the difference between when they’re reading fiction or non-fiction.
RE: the Rupture: I like the empty clothes gag. To make it more realistic, pool them up with the undies (preferably soiled) inside them, as if someone had just been sucked right out of ’em. I worked on trying to put together a handy guide for people so they would know whether they were witnessing the Rupture or the Zombie Apocalypse because let’s face it, there’s a good bit of overlap there, but until I’m through with ciggy withdrawals I’m probably not going to be able to write anything worthwhile.
The Rupture will occur during my poker game Saturday (yeah, we start early because some of us are OLD). Lt. Col. (Ret) Teabag is, of course, a Christian. Will report next week on what transpires at 6:00.
Man, them X-ians are gonna be so surprised when they figure out the typo. HINT: It’s not caught up in the rapture.
Why is a publication called the Christian Science Monitor a place to find relatively even handed news coverage compared to other outlets?
Here, they smack down the right wing/Isreali poutrage over our first president to actually demonstrate a little bit of courage on the issue.
I have it one good authority that piss jugs are simply the way of the road.
Some poor, pervy schmuck is going to google “piss jugs” and be sorely disappointed. Why do you people hate Rule 34?
It’s ok to be Takei!
Someone just said they listened to Family Radio this morning (out of curiosity). He said that their reading a five-day forecast was a thoughtful touch though he noted the absence of the coming volcanic explosions.
It’s ok to be Takei!
I’m totes het, but I think I would have sex with George Takei, because he’s so goddamn awesome.
Once again, I have to ling to the best takedown EVAR!!!!
Once again, I have to ling
Nobody wants you linging in public.
I don’t think the volcanic explosions are this weekend, it’s earthquake first, with rapture for the chosen, then a few months of
hippy partyingstern discipline for the un-saved then comes the lava.See, I’m trying to keep up.
Salvation porn sounds boring.
Two words: Catholic. Schoolgirls.
Once again, I have to ling
Cod, I hate when that happens.
And just let me say, if I’ve gone through the last day and a half cigarette-free only to find out tomorrow that the end of the world is at hand, Imma gonna be some kind of pissed off.
Surely, it has already been linked here, but, I have nothing better to do, so here is a profile of the man behind the coming Rupture:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/20/harold-camping-judgment-day-may-21_n_864507.html
I kinda feel sorry for the guy………
Don’t worry, Jennifer. We heathens still have five more months.
Salvation porn sounds boring.
Two words: Catholic. Schoolgirls.
Right there with ya buddy. Halibut good time.
“He made a similar prediction in the 1990s but later said he didn’t look close enough at the Book of Jeremiah. This time around, he’s absolutely certain”
As per yesterday (see above): “I forgot to carry the one!!!”
Jennifer, on a serious note, good luck with the quittin’. If you haven’t done it yet, go out to the American Lung Association Freedom From Smoking Online page and get into the program. This was an immense help to me in my quitting (5.5 years and counting).
TOTALLY WORTH IT.
Although salmon will tell you you’ll be a failure, your lings will thank you.
Don’t worry, Jennifer. We heathens still have five more months.
Yeah, see, that’s the point. If we’ve only got 5 more months left, I might as well start smoking 4 or 5 packs per day.
Surely, it has already been linked here, but, I have nothing better to do, so here is a profile of the man behind the coming Rupture:
Further evidence that any organization with “family” in its title is a hotbed of fundagelical lunacy.
“I forgot to carry the one!!!”
The chances of any of his wild imaginings happening is exactly equal to the chances of Smut repenting.
As per yesterday (see above): “I forgot to carry the one!!!”
Or…”I outsourced the calculations to Megan McArdle!”
Linging in publlic.
Gotta run. A cop spotted me.
As per yesterday (see above): “I forgot to carry the one!!!”
This is central to my point!
Jennifer;
I’m on day TWELVE, no cigarettes.
I’m using an e-cigarette that I purchased at 7-11 for about $30. It isn’t making it easy, but it’s smoothing down the jagged edges just enough to keep me at it.
Believe me, if I can do it, you have better than even odds of being successful. Once you make it past about 6 or 7 days, it really starts to get easier–mainly because you learn how to deal with the withdrawals.
Do it, girl! You can bitch at me all you want, and I can be the guy who says “mmhmm, I know EXACTLY what you mean.”
“Catholic” “Schoolgirls” Yeah, we won’t be herring from Smut for awhile.
Gotta run. A cop spotted me.
So, you’ve never truly abandoned your “Snidely Whiplash” identity…
Refreshing the browser, it just hit me… Debbie’s pissicle looks like it’s been sprinkled with Cheeto dust- how appropriate.
I don’t think the volcanic explosions are this weekend, it’s earthquake first, with rapture for the chosen, then a few months of hippy partying stern discipline for the un-saved then comes the lava.
I guess I better fill those ice cube trays.
Jen: I’m over two months now, and I’m still having major cravings. Not physical, but the pyschological talons are deeply embedded in me, and I still have to fight it every day.
Solidarity, sister.
The best part of the rapture will be all the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the “good” christians…I can hear it now
“WHY, GOD, WHY? I HAD THE BUMPER STICKERS AND EVERYTHING…WAHHHHH!”
So, you’ve never truly abandoned your “Snidely Whiplash” identity…
Sort of. It’s still registered in the Double-Secret Identity Roster. But I am Fenwick for now and evermore. Except when I use TinTin, my true and for-real identity
(Joey thinks Double Secret Identity Roster s a good name for the band, btw. Joey is an idiot.)
Relevant and obligatory.
Sort of. It’s still registered in the Double-Secret Identity Roster. But I am Fenwick for now and evermore. Except when I use TinTin, my true and for-real identity
So, the truth is out… Fenwick is Carl Shalamadingdong!!!!
the wailing and gnashing of teeth
Don’t forget the sackcloth and ashes.
Gotta run now, fer reals. Volunteer shift at the Library.
tsam – I’ve got an e-ciggy too. I bought it last fall thinking I was going to try to quit then…so I just broke it out the other day and started using it whenever I start feeling a bit too jagged. But seriously…I’ve not gone more than 24 hours without a cigarette my entire adult life, IIRC. Last time I came close to quitting was over 20 years ago, and even then, I think I was sneaking a drag off of other people’s smokes at work, never did actually go a full day without a single puff. So, that’s positive. And really, so far it has not been all that bad. I do feel a bit on edge, but not to the point of weeping.
Carl Shalamadingdong!
Shalamadingdong is a Muslim name, btw, just like Hassan. Lil Debbie will confirm this.
Hey all. It has been about two months of no cigarettes for me, too. I think I am over the cravings because I can get very drunk and reisist the urge to smoke.
Still will not smoke even if fundies start floating up into the sky. ‘This is a test, Nicotine God, isn’t it? Ha!’
All. One. Guy.
Wanna donate your unused cigs to a worthy cause?
think I am over the cravings because I can get very drunk and reisist the urge to smoke.
EXFORD !
I substitute the sweet smoke.
Solidarity, bro.
And with tsam and all the other Sadlies who have quit. BTW, I decided to used the formula ‘have quit’ rather than ‘trying to quit’. ‘Trying’ holds open a door of possible failure, and therefore a future as a smoker. Small thing, but it helped re-orient my head and made it (marginally) easier to resist the cravings.
Cheers mate. I think I’m substituting cooked breakfasts and generally being pissy and hyper-critical. Pot doesn’t agree with me.
Also, when the rapture happens, I’m sure cigarette packs will just fall form the sky.
Or they will be left in the pockets of piles of clothing.
Also substituting D-KW’s mom
Jennifer: I was very close to bawling my face off a few times during this process. I hated it. It ranged from depression to rage. The worst part is being confused and feeling incredibly dumb the whole time. But little by little, it gets slightly easier and slightly easier.
The bad part is feeling it get worse for the first 4 or 5 days.
Keeping it classy, wingnuts.
Boy, it’s a good thing nobody told Debs about the Jihadist Phlegm Pops.
. . . oops
We must bond together and quit, then get as many other people to quit as possible. Someday, Dog willing, we’ll put those fucking corporations and scumbag weed farmers out of business and in the soup kitchen line.
Or we could round them up and exterminate them. I’m good with either option.
raptor jesus made me lol! also, i quit smoking today…which is kinda awesome timing since i only have to make it through one day…woot!
Hiya, Mr. Formerly Imposter Person!
I would if I could. I crushed them to avoid tempation.
You know, like talibanjelicals who are in the closet and/or who secretly envy all the fun things that aethists get to do, like drinking and fucking and so on.
(Btw, as some here may remember, I am an actual Christian who has been hiding out in the hills for decades, part of no church. Don’t like doctrine or hierachies much I view my relationship as direct to the Bible and to God. I seldom talk about it to anyone; it is private.
Don’t hold back on the Christian jokes! They are hilarious. ( And, alas, there are so many Christians who deserve ridicule and scorn….)
Off to the Library now..
Seriously…one of my mantras is “big tobacco supports the GOP”. I know the thought of some of my hard-earned parasite’s wages going to those ripe fucks helps put some steel in my spine.
Quitting:
Miserable pain in the ass.
Totally worth it.
Carrying the one.
“Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D
crappiest april fool’s joke, ever…
Refreshing the browser
hubbahubba
Also, exford’s mom stopped smoking by substituting as well. Let’s just say that she’s an expert on oral fixation.
FenwickTintin is right. It’s a subtle but powerful tool to think of yourself as an ex-smoker. Make it your mantra: “I am an ex-smoker.”gawdam I WISH those asswipes would get raptored away so the rest of us can enjoy the world without their bullshit.
Nicotine is actually a pretty potent insecticide, so it might be effective on the cockroaches in the boardrooms…
My mum inspired that poetry on your website?
Nicotine is deadly poison. Dope a blade with concentrated nicotine to kill someone with a scratch.
My mum inspired that poetry on your website?
Maybe. Is she hot?
Your dad caught you smoking and he said “No way!”
That hypocrite smokes two packs a day
One cig everytime he gets it up the bum,
But the slatternly whore, that’s your mum.
Well okay, but I figure I’ll get in trouble.
Er, I am NOT recommending that anyone actually do that…
Well okay, but I figure I’ll get in trouble.
ahem…after tomorrow there will be NO LAWS…duh!
Is she hot?
Not really.
Er, I am NOT recommending that anyone actually do that…
p’raps not, but you have given me an awesome idea for my book!!! if you have shattered my block, i will do something totally awesome for you!!!
I want some of what Glen Campbell was smokin’ when he did this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA3DE8pD-ZM
“Sometimes I imagine myself as a drifter
A seeker of fortune, connoisseur of great wines
Dashin’ through meadows of yellow and green
Tryin’ to catch the impossible dream
A-leavin’ the straight life behind
Sometimes my thoughts found me way down in Mexico
A-drinkin’ tequila goin’ out of my mind
Havin’ a ball on a couple ‘a bob
A-treatin’ the ladies to corn on the cob
A-leavin’ the straight life behind”
Once [Sonny Curtis; Glen didn’t write the song] got so loaded that he treated the ladies to corn on the cob. He reminisces on that until his wife comes to him “softly with crackers and beer.” Add the syrupy production and it’s surreal. Makes me want to leave the straight life behind.
Shoulda knowed you’d beat my disclaimer.
Beating the disclaimer.
Carrying the one.
What the libruls will be doing in the next election.
Preempting the euphemism.
Doping a blade.
While your mom may not be all that hot,
And your dad’s ass gets pounded a lot,
He’s still quite a n00blet amatuer,
Compared to your mom who is such a whore.
Your dad’s got a way with a peter
That you have not got with your meter.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
Counting syllables is a big pain
In the butt. That’s why your dad loves it so.
But it’s your mom that fucks for dough.
“Nicotine is deadly poison. Dope a blade with concentrated nicotine to kill someone with a scratch”
Sounds like a superhero power. Fagman?
Your mama’s ass may be prime
But not so much your rhyme
i hope he wasn’t ripping into a slim jim…
Something something slime.
Also.
Your dad gets cornholed every night
Your dad don’t put up any fight
Your dad finds he can sooth the burns
With all the cash mom’s pussy earns
I’m thinking Korean tacos 4 lunch. Bulkogi, sprouts, julienne cuke, carrot, kim chee, cilantro, soft corn tortillas. Squeeze of lime. Koifusionpdx.com. NOM NOM
Your dad slurps the boners of guys who don’t know him
But the shame in your house is your way with a poem.
slimming the jim
Your father’s perversions
And depraved urgings
Have nothing to do
With my inability to string words together with any type of flow or pattern.
YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE.
Arggghh. Pretend like I used the word “semblance” instead of “type”.
Dammit.
her twat is all skank and his poop chute is worse
It’s still not as bad as your efforts at verse
I seem to have fallen in with a rough crowd.
Like your dad said, “everyone’s a critic,”
While he sat down on yet another prick.
“Forcing it to fit is an error,
So I was taught by your mom the dirty whore.”
Your dad goes for meat like a ravenous vulture
Your poems won’t bring your old mom horticulture.
They say that the length of one’s feet
gives a sense of the size of his meat
your dad prefers anapest
but l’il Victor is Pyrrhic at best.
Substance and Puppi are ganging up
To pick on the Dragon; two boys, one cup
Of hate for the meter that he lays down
But your mom’s the whore, they tell me downtown.
The Poo Testament.
In my defense, I never claimed to be good at poetry
Just at fucking your mom.
And while taking it up the ass makes your dad go SQUEEEEEEEE!
Your mother makes me come.
But I was already there.
Or maybe a grass fed, dry aged burger at at Violetta. The truffle fries are fucking awesome too.
for CRA,
Falling in with a rough crowd.
“But I was already there.”
AGAIN? You just had to come back for more…
Your takes ’em two at a time from the mines
But what’s filthy and grubby are your dreadful lines.
True story:
My son was about four when I first heard him singing along to a tune on the radio from the backseat: “I’m on the highway to hell……”
You post sixteen rhymes and what do you get
Nitpicky gripes about your meter and yet
The reason your poems just do not have that flow
You owe your soul to their mother’s store.
Or maybe a grass fed, dry aged burger at at Violetta. The truffle fries are fucking awesome too
you sir, are an ass…i have been fighting the urge for a cheezburger all freaking day…
My son was about four when I first heard him singing along to a tune on the radio from the backseat: “I’m on the highway to hell……”
I sure hope he was pumping his tiny, dimple-knuckled fist in the air as he sang.
Fighting the urge for a cheezburger…
STOP SAYING CHEEZBURGER!!!
Good news: Downton Abbey and Sherlock will return with new episodes this season.
Way. Fucking. Cool.
Cheez. Burger.
Pumping the dimple-knuckled fist?
Cheez. Burger
grrrrrrrr…i am resisting and going with roast turkey w/green beans, cranberries and almonds…
I sure hope he was pumping his tiny, dimple-knuckled fist in the air as he sang.
Makes me think of this.
Okay, I’ll eschew the cheezburger. I’ve decided to get banh mi instead of a cheeseburger. Though I do love a good cheezburger, I’m sorry I set bbkf off by talking about cheeseburgers. So I apologize for saying cheezburger and will now head out for banh mi instead of a cheezburger.
Cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger. Pepsi no Coke.
oh ha, ha, ha…first i get no love for giving up the smokes and now you torture me with the cheez burgers…and lots of bad bum poetry…hmmmph!
i would flounce off in a snit, however it is raining outside…
DKW’s dad has a very bad bum.
Wait. Do you mean poetry about bad bums or that the poetry about bums is bad?
Your snit is an open-air model?
Pup Max’s dad’s ass is poetic.
Maybe she just doesn’t want her snit to get wet. Not much grosser than runny snit.
I hope he was making the “sign of the devil” Ronnie James Dio style.
Flouncing the snit.
Or simply “flouncing off”.
Wait. Do you mean poetry about bad bums or that the poetry about bums is bad?
yes
WELL. I happen to think my hobo-related poetry is pretty damn great.
*flounces off* And I am wearing a cape, so it is an awesome flounce!
eschewing the cheezburger…………………..
Pumping the dimple-knuckled fist?
This isn’t a euphemism!
Makes me think of this.
The best thing about that video is the fact that the kid is brandishing a potato gun!
So I apologize for saying cheezburger and will now head out for banh mi instead of a cheezburger.
How about a cheezburger bahn mi? And don’t be stingy with the sriracha!
To all you folks quitting smoking — YAY FOR YOU!!! Keep it up, and bitch if you’ve got to. Have a good weekend, assuming Sunday happens…
heh. Loading up on the sriracha.
I have a running gag with my friend Vinh the vietnamese grocer. I always ask her for galangal and with mock outrage she waves her index finger at me and says; NO, is thai!! Don’t ask her for sriracha on your banh-mi.
Speaking of “No Coke! Pepsi!”…Dan Aykroyd was supposed to be Belushi’s brother, right? So why did they have totally different accents?
Belushi: “Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger, Chizz-bugger!”
Aykroyd: “Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey, Cheese-boogey!”
So why did they have totally different accents?
I thought it was pretty obvious that Aykroyd was adopted.
Good work quitting smoking
You’re dad’s up for poking.
Black homicides have reached a “crisis level” in Nashville.
In 2008, Tennessee had America’s fifth highest rate of black homicides. Nashville, with 42 black murder victims, had a rate higher than the state average and in 2009 surpassed Memphis to become the most violent city in the Volunteer State.
If you are black in Nashville, you are 5x more likely to be murdered than if you are White. Black homicides have risen while White homicides have declined for several years now.
The motives of these homicides are various: abuse, domestic problems, drugs, gang activity, robberies, etc.
Black community leaders are blaming a sense of “hopelessness” in the affected areas. “Those are the ones that are dangerous,” said Jerry Maynard, a Metro City Councilman. “Because they feel they have no future.”
“In our own city, we have kids that see the rest of the world on TV, they see it across the street. How do I get from where I am to graduate high school, to graduate college, to get a job?” said Metro Police Chief Steve Anderson. “The reduction in federal funding for police prevention programs, for police outreach programs, is also going to have an effect.”
Black children in Nashville grow up in “a world that includes drugs, prostitution and violence on a daily basis.” We are told that “public housing developments like J.C. Napier, Sam Levy and James Cayce” are where “much of this violence has occurred.”
Police Chief Anderson told The Tennessean, “The public in general doesn’t realize this is another world you’re driving by each day. There is another world that you don’t recognize that needs your support, that needs your attention. They really don’t understand what’s going on in the inner city.”
Councilman Maynard believes that Nashville needs an “all out effort” along the lines of the response to the Cumberland River flood to stop the epidemic of black-on-black homicide.
He explains, “Black-on-black crime is not a black problem. It’s a Nashville problem because tourists will not come here, businesses will not come here. We will strangle economic growth if we do not come to a solution to this.”
The blacks of Nashville are fouling their own nest and it is Whitey’s responsibility to clean up the mess. There has been a 31 percent increase in the homicide rate since black community leaders declared a “cease fire” last year.
Why are these people so utterly helpless?
The Dark Side of Black Run America
Nashville’s predicament with black-on-black crime is just one of the many unintended consequences of Black Run America that respectable liberals and conservatives are afraid to talk about.
A few observations:
(1) Much of the gang warfare in Nashville goes on in the public housing projects that were built as part of the War on Poverty for the explicit purpose of abolishing underclass social pathologies through government social engineering.
These programs were based on the premise that the individual is a product of his environment. When the federal government created a new environment for blacks, they moved into their new neighborhoods and quickly destroyed them.
(2) There is nothing stopping blacks from graduating from high school or college. Their skin color actually works to their advantage when trying to find a job in the private sector or get into a public university.
Intelligent blacks can and do graduate from high school and move on to lucrative jobs in the diversity obsessed private sector.
Most blacks are unable to compete with Whites in integrated classrooms because they are objectively less intelligent than their White peers.
The problem was never the Jim Crow schools. When the federal government gave blacks access to the White schools, they brought the racial gap with them into their new environment.
(3) Most of these black murderers come from “broken families.” Fatherlessness has a causal relationship to violent crime. An incredible 59 percent of black women now have children by two different fathers.
The black male is unable to compete with the federal government as a provider for black women. Most of these households are beneficiaries of various types of federal anti-poverty programs. White liberals have fostered and encouraged this type of extreme dependency.
Whether it is housing projects, welfare, or integrated public schools, White liberal attempts to uplift blacks through government intervention programs have a long track record of failure. And those are just the most obvious examples.
(4) Integration didn’t benefit all blacks in the same way.
The dirty little secret of integration is that it allowed the so-called “talented tenth” to abandon the black underclass and move up into the White world.
Under Jim Crow, the “talented tenth” was excluded from the White world on the basis of race. They were forced to live among their co-ethnics and cater to them and respond to all their various social problems.
Who benefits from meritocracy, affirmative action, and relentlessly promoting diversity? The “talented tenth” which is given the means to escape the black world.
They leave the old neighborhood behind which has the effect of robbing it of its natural leadership and compounding its various social problems.
(5) Integration has cowed Whites into submission.
Whites are unable to defend their own property and institutions under the present system of forced integration. They adapt by fleeing areas which they are unable to control.
The Whites take the jobs and the tax base with them. The “talented tenth” follows the White wagon train to each new Whitopia. An underground economy moves into the geographic vacuum where the black underclass has been left behind.
It is “another world” out there precisely because it is a black underclass world. Violent crime spirals out of control because integration has forced Whites to abandon those areas. It has also given upwardly mobile blacks their ticket out of the hood.
(6) The Cultural Revolution has destroyed White confidence in their own traditional culture.
Whites used to take great pride in forcing Christianity and middle class values onto blacks. Now that the pressure to assimilate into White American norms is gone, blacks are losing their Christian veneer and reverting back to their base racial way of doing things.
Christianity worked for blacks. It restrained a population that is naturally less intelligent and less conscientious than Whites. It curtailed their natural polygamy and licentiousness.
(7) The overarching myth of Black Run America is that every American is an individual who is born as a blank slate with the same opportunity to succeed in our capitalist economy. Environmental obstacles like racism and poverty alone stop blacks from climbing the social ladder into the American middle class.
This dangerous myth that everyone is equal and has the same chance has resulted in the abandonment of the black underclass in Nashville. It doesn’t acknowledge the ugly social reality that human beings are not born as interchangeable parts.
The black underclass is shuttled into public schools and the private sector where they don’t have the intelligence to compete with their racial brethren for scholarships and job opportunities. They drop out and fall into a life of drug abuse and violent crime which has been exacerbated by black flight into the White suburbs.
Comparatively, Jim Crow America was a more humane place to live for the black underclass for three major reasons:
– A society based on Christian values and racial inequality will accept that some blacks are unable to succeed for biological reasons and will respond by tailoring its culture, social institutions, and economy around dealing with that unpleasant fact.
– A society based on race will blunt class divisions. As I explained above, the “talented tenth” was forced by Jim Crow segregation to live among their weaker brethren and steward their communities, which was a far more successful social reform than any progressive anti-poverty program.
– Under Jim Crow, Whites were self confident and explicitly in control of their own society. They didn’t have to flee Southern cities like Birmingham to the surrounding suburbs. The “talented tenth” had no incentive to leave either.
While there was some white-on-black violence under Jim Crow, there was far less violence overall because of these instructive lessons in racial hierarchy, blacks were safer in what is now called the “inner cities,” and there weren’t nearly as many blacks in prison as there are today.
The ugly truth that blacks are unwilling to confront is that the Klan was nowhere near as much of a menace to blacks in Jim Crow America as blacks are likely to be murdered, raped, robbed, or assaulted by feral black criminals in Black Run America.
White/Black
Every negative thing that has been said about Black Run America above is equally true of the White community. It is only a difference of degree.
The same cultural trends that have been unleashed in the black inner city are destroying White America at a slower rate. The parallel of the black underclass experience with cocaine in the inner city ghettos is the White experience with meth, alcohol, and prescription drug abuse in trailer parks.
The present meritocratic system allows the “talented third” of White America to abandon the cities, small towns, and rural communities of the American South for high paying jobs and exclusive suburbs in other parts of the country.
22 percent of White women now have children by multiple fathers. Christianity is collapsing. The White nuclear family is dissolving along with it. The old middle class values are under constant assault from the counterculture and the redistributive state.
The myth of Black Run America that everyone has the same chance in life (i.e., you just need to be reeducated to be a nuclear physicist) and that White racial consciousness is synonymous with evil has hurt the White underclass more than anyone else. Nowhere in Black Run America is a there a greater sense of hopelessness.
The best and the brightest of the small towns now graduate from college and move off to the big cities. The White underclass has been completely abandoned by its natural leadership. No one even gives lip service to caring about the “white trash” anymore.
A traditional organic society like Jim Crow America which was based on Christian values and racial inequality elevated the White underclass. It blunted class divisions among Whites and worked to their economic advantage. Racial identity gave other Whites a stake in their lives.
Solutions
The solutions being proposed by the political class of Nashville reflect the fact that the truth about human inequality was the first casualty of Black Run America.
Just listen to these great ideas: new housing projects, spending more money, community centers, “ways of giving our young people hope,” distractions like sports and music, “real mentors,” “volunteers to work with poor kids,” rebuilding the black family, etc.
The “young people” here don’t have any hope because they have been abandoned by their co-ethnics. These ghettos are what happen when blacks are sorted by intelligence and economic segregation is allowed to create an impermeable geographic barrier to the outside world.
In so many words, this is what happens when you replace a race based society with a class based one.
Thanks for the copypasta, but I already had lunch.
I feel a citation is needed here.
I feel a citation is needed here.
Odd. All I feel is the need to run to the bathroom.
Whatevs, spam I am.
~
Ethnopatriot’s dad likes to smoke pole
and shove multiple dicks up his hole
though he fucked every orifice sore
it’s really his mom who’s the whore
No copy pasta needed here either: 36 hour sous-vide spare ribs seared on the grill, Florida new potatoes, fresh picked yellow squash, mixed green salad. DIY sous vide is the bomb, best ribs you’ll ever have.
Just listen to these great ideas: new housing projects, spending more money, community centers, “ways of giving our young people hope,” distractions like sports and music, “real mentors,” “volunteers to work with poor kids,” rebuilding the black family, etc.
Ha ha, what a total waste to give a shit about black kids in the inner city!
Somehow, the proximity of my post to tigris’ lessens the excellence of our dinner.
Egads, ambiguous pronoun antecedents or whatever it’s called. Oh well, you know what I meant.
Ethnopatriot’s dad taught him how to suck dick
And the rusty trombone and the Aristocrats trick
Taught him every possible way to get laid
But he learned from his mom to get fucked and get paid.
Just think of it as dessert, El M.
Sous-vide: French for “under vacuum”,
Say no more.
The sad truth that White liberals, and even some ‘conservatives’ refuse to face is that blacks and hispanics are biologically less intelligent than Whites and as such are more prone to criminality, illegitimacy and other social and economic vices than Whites. What Jim Crow society did was enforce the natural racial hierarchy and thus Jim Crow America was a more moral and more prosperious society than our current postmodern, hyperbalkanized, multicultural cesspool “America.”
Which, by the ways things are going with our shifting demographics, high gas prices and economic recession would be better off being left for the dogs.
DIY sous vide is the bomb,
tell me more, my lovely…
Cool. Leave.
Egads, ambiguous pronoun antecedents or whatever it’s called. Oh well, you know what I meant.
i dunno…i think ethnopatriot’s dad should shove multiple dicks up his son’s rectum…
Ethnopatriot loves him some giant black dick
He’s afraid to admit it, his priest told him it’s sick,
at the time that he said that, he was fucking him sore
But even with all that it’s his mom who’s the whore.
Oh, and of course the copypasta troll didn’t even credit the original author of this “ANALysis” — assuming this is just our typical troll and not the original racist.
(Do not click that link if you value your sanity, nothing but the copypasta and a bunch of rotten mangoes as garnish)
Oh, and the original author is featured here (safe). Pretty tough to be too racist even for the teahadis, but this guy’s managed it.
Actually, no. There are things that affect intelligence, such as access to decent education, environment and proper nutrition. When people are provided with proper education, a decent living environment and proper nutrition, there is probably little to no difference in inherent intelligence among the races.
there is probably little to no difference in inherent intelligence among the races.
are you sure about this, vs? it seems their is a significant lack of intelligence amongst those of the teaparty race…
Actually, no. There are things that affect intelligence, such as access to decent education, environment and proper nutrition. When people are provided with proper education, a decent living environment and proper nutrition, there is probably little to no difference in inherent intelligence among the races.
Well, most biological tests done to investigate the validity of eugenic theory has shown that there’s often more biological difference between two individuals of the same “race” than between individuals of different “races,” I believe.
What the fuck a “race” is is another question entirely, of course. A hundred years ago, Jews were considered “colored” and listed as such when they immigrated to the country. Interestingly, Arabs were considered white. Today, Jews are white and Arabs are decidedly not. Right from the outset, “race” is an arbitrary concept with constantly changing goalposts. It’s socio-cultural Calvinball on crack.
Well, all they eat is cheetos.
You liberals can scoff all you want, but liberals are directly responsible for the mess America is in right now. It was liberals who used the activist courts to ban racial segregation thus beginning the downward spiral of American society, it was liberals who voted for and passed the 1964 Civil Rights Act, it was liberal drunken whoremaster Ted Kennedy who co-sponsered and pushed for the 1965 Immigration Act which resulted in millions of third world illiterates both “legal” and illegal invading our shores and pouring across our borders.
Liberals are like a cancer that eats away at the moral fabric of their host society. Scoff all you want liberals, but this Brave New Hellhole that America has become is your doing.
You liberals can scoff all you want
Yes We Can.
dude, you are just stone cold full of shit…and you know that even you can’t possibly believe your racist bullshit and still be smart enough to breathe…
but this Brave New Hellhole that America has become is your doing
also, i love hell holes…especially brave new ones 🙂
“whoremaster?”
Nice.
where’s raptor jesus when you really need him?
also, too…i am off to fetch teh daughter and take her out to dinner…if perchance i do not get to check in tomorrow before the rapture, t’was nice knowing y’all…or, i’ll just talk to you on sunday…wevs…
Have fun, bbkf.
Also, racists taste like burning rubber.
Oh like any of us would be going anywhere in any case.
where’s raptor jesus when you really need him?
Call David Brooks, he’s got the scoop.
~
I thought all Canadians go to heaven?
~
Hey, if you don’t love Brave New Hellholica get the fuck out.
Canadians are already in heaven.
We are told that “public housing developments like J.C. Napier, Sam Levy and James Cayce” are where “much of this violence has occurred.”
Yet little violence has taken place at the Sir William Napier, Eugene Levy, and Edgar Cayce public housing developments. (Well, a few incidents of violence at Napier. He was a Napoleonic officer, after all.)
————————
EthnoPatriot is an easy call: Not a fake troll.
Length of the introductory copy-paste is an obvious giveaway. Thereafter, the deeply-ingrained quality of the racism–and sustained for so long!–is a signature of absolutely genuine reichwing thought.
Stylistic notes for future Sadlynaut Fake-Trolling fun:
(1) For maximum authenticity, begin with lengthy cut-and-paste lifted from Nashviile news (interspersed with short racist ‘interpretive’ commentary).
(2) Use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Avoid exclamation marks.
(3) Capitalize ‘White’. (Also use ‘ethnic group’ and similar ‘polite’ terms for Teh Niggers.)
(4) Introduce sub-heads, such as ‘Black Ruled America’
I haven’t yet cultured this specimen in the Petri dish, but I’ve made some preliminary notes (which I do not choose to make public, in case I take a shot at an EthoPatriot parody in the future).
Interesting specimen, this one! I wonder if it will stick around for conversation? Is it capable of conversation?
“Hey, if you don’t love Brave New Hellholica get the fuck out.”
Tee hee!
EthnoPatriot is an easy call: Not a fake troll.
I must leave. But before I do: concur. Ils ont un cave troll! Sacrebleu!
“EthnoPatriot” posts under the nym “Bugs” over at Atrios’ place. I’d know that stream of stench anywhere.
And I live in Nashville. I call bullshit.
.
It is capable of interaction!
More data for Fake-Trolling fun.
(1) Add ‘hispanics’ to the racist stew; it’s not just Teh Niggers. [Be sure to use the ‘polite’ cover word for Teh Messicans.
(2) Its preferred form of general address is ‘liberals’. Usually without modifiers (unlike the Coach).
(3) One identifiable fixation: Ted Kennedy. Include this for authenticity.
(1) Add ‘hispanics’ to the racist stew
This one claims to be Hispanic, btw.
.
This one claims to be Hispanic, btw.
Um, suuuuurrrrre…………….no.
Ethnopatriot, have you ever treated the ladies to corn on the cob?
Jeff: Thanks! I’ll have a larger text sample with which to work.
I remember your earlier ‘Don’t be hatin’ on Tennessee’ comment during the Whisky-and-Such strand.
Nashville must be an interesting place to live. You’ve got your own classic movie, after all. [True fact for VS: Nashville was shot in Arkansas!] Nashville is one of the epic centers of American music. From what I understand, it also has lots of kitsch, like Baltimore.
It’s time to Rapture this threedle.
TinTin?
Carl?
Hello?
Sorry Looch. Teh Lord has taken them up.
~
Can I have their stuff?
I must have missed the troll’s I’m-Hispanic claim.
(And yet I read S,N closely. Or did it make this claim in its alternate ‘Bugs’
manifestationinfestation?)Sorry. I’m busy right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it.
Nice troll. We should kill it.
True fact for VS: Nashville was shot in Arkansas!
Not all of it. Some was very obviously shot in Nashville, at Centennial Park.
.
Sorry. I’m busy right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it.
So, can I have your stuff?
(And yet I read S,N closely. Or did it make this claim in its alternate ‘Bugs’ manifestation infestation?)
Yes — “Busg” makes this claim, and I am about 97% certain this is the same troll. Same M.O. — always about the “inferior races,” et al.
.
inferior races
Formula 1 trolls.
Feelin a little down? Trolling not quite the buzz it once was? Folks pointing and laughing instayed of gittin’ all orney on’t?
You need Trollivite! One blue pill will cure that lethagy, that empty “My soul has been sucked out of my rectum and I grasp hold of any pathetic validation of my existence” feeling.
Call “0800 My life is a suppurating pile of foetid dingo penises”, for your free sample today*
(*may attract shipping costs of many thousands of dollars)
Two words: Catholic. Schoolgirls.
Have they thrown away their mascara?
The troll can keep his stuff.
Well, y’all seem raptured. bbl
.
You liberals scoff because political correctness has blinded you to the truth. Whenever a mulitracial/multicultural society has existed it has been a disastor to all who live within it. Look no farther South Africa since the end of apartied. Under apartied, South Africa was the most powerful and wealthiest Nation in SubSaharan Africa. Its economy and standard of living was more comparable to that of Europe and the United States than that of the rest of Africa.
But with the fall of Apartied and the ascention of Nelson Mandella’s terrorist regime South Africa now has one of the highest homicide rates in the world. Where as previously its violent crime rates were again much lower comparable to those of 1950s America and Europe. Its once prosperous agrarian society also suffered and its economy is now in ruins. South Africa is now safely considered a third world nation by most standards. And an abyssmal one at that. Black on White crime is at a record high which the black controlled government turns a blind eye towards and in some cases actively encourages.
This is what the left wishes for America with their “glamorization” of black culture and a massive government supported increase in third world immigration, both “legal” and illegal. Why do you think our federal government turns a blind eye to the invasion going on across our southern border?
Accidential or deliberate and systematic government policy? I believe the evidence speaks for itself.
I believe the evidence speaks for itself that I am 14 years old and almost out of fourth grade.
Done fixxored that, I did.
The evidence may speak, but it can’t spell.
Ethnopatriot makes it a policy
To suck dicks through bathroom wallicys
Though his paste-posts are bore-y
His holes are all glory
But his dick is sadly so smallicy
Whale,
O man, that is an instant classic!!!
You liberals scoff because political correctness has blinded you to the truth.
It’s good to hear that Jesus has become politically correct.
Damn. I wish I hadn’t left the keys to the blog in my other sockpuppet…
So…since the Rapture prophecy says that it will be a rolling Rapture, and since I’m no longer on the West coast, I’m trusting our Left Coast brethren to monitor the eleven o’clock news out there for bulletins about earthquakes in Fiji
I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc.
A funny use of scare quotes: “immigration, both ‘legal’ and illegal.” What shall we make of this? Is legal immigration really illegal? In what sense? Is there any legal immigration? Is illegal immigration referred to as legal?… No, the author is inept, as with “glamorization.”
I don’t have an essentialist view of race or culture, so looking to South Africa or anywhere else fails to confirm that change or mixing make matters worse. Supposed characteristics of this group or that have only illusory power to explain what the world’s coming to. Focusing on these characteristics and their imagined interactions can only obscure matters, however seductive a practice it might be for little minds.
I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc.
PROOF that white peeples is intelligenter!
looking to South Africa or anywhere else fails
Particularly since I’ve heard that the BRIC countries are about to be expanded to the BRICS, to include, yes…South Africa among the world’s fastest-growing economies.
Yeah, them blackamoors cain’t self-govern for shit.
Hey hey hey El M.! I got started with a mediumish largish cooler which worked just fine though it was a bit of a pain to get the right temp to start. A Flintstones type strip steak, plenty big for the two of us, could go about 6 hours before temp falling off. I’m building my own now, home-brewed temp controller board (PIC μ, an SCR, and a probe), water pump from the Homo Depot lawn and garden section.
Love hitting it with my propane torch just prior to serving, to Maillard it up.
Oops – couple immersion coffee heater thangs.
We have one Kiwi – ONE ONLY thank you Snail Joust and FY other antipodeans – who has promised to let us know when to start the repenting. Truth be told, if it’s the gawd of the bible doing it, I’d rather stay here; that guy is a total dick.
Could somebody sum up the thread for me?
Were there euphemisms?
Oops – couple immersion coffee heater thangs.
Ledernacken had a song titled Tauchsieder.
We have one Kiwi – ONE ONLY thank you Snail Joust and FY other antipodeans
Alison is from Ozzystoryollya, if I remember rightly.
“Alison is from Ozzystoryollya, if I remember rightly.”
Yet another reason to despise the hobbitlanders.
Mein cherman ist ganz staubig.
I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc
i don’t know about all youse, but sunday morning i will awake feeling pretty dreadful cos i ‘apartied’ after the rapturing…
I think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc
pee, peehad, poop, penis, raptor jesus, white people r awesome and black and brown people are dumb and el m made some kick ass ribs…
and oh, yeah…there were euphemisms…
damn…i’m anonymous!!!
damn…i’m anonymous!!!
You’re better off that way, if he knew who you were and where you lived, a certain Dragon King would be climbing through your window at 4AM looking for a booty call.
You’re better off that way, if he knew who you were and where you lived, a certain Dragon King would be climbing through your window at 4AM looking for a booty call.
well, i am somebody’s mother so i can see where the attraction lies…
looking for a booty call
oh, wait…
You liberals can scoff all you want, but liberals are directly responsible for
No, it was you southern confederate dickhead crackers who lost the fucking Civil War & started this nation on the road to swarthy decline. Stop blaming liberals for your abject failure, & take some of that responsibility you honkies handle so well, unlike the darkies.
Loooooo-ser!!
think E.P. wrote this last one himself. “Disastor,” “apartied,” “abyssmal,” etc.
PROOF that white peeples is intelligenter!
What are you, some kind of social scientician???
waiting for a new thread is almost as tedious as awaiting the rapture…
awaiting the rapture
Love hitting it with my propane torch just prior to serving, to Maillard it up.
Ducks were last thread, Poopy
Rising in the sky
Heeding the call
Raptures make for crappy euphemisms
paul molitor just said that harmon killebrew’s greatest wish was for people to be nice to each other…can’t we all just get along for the killer?!?
I have to admit, the thought of a rolling Rapture appeals to me. I like an organized Armageddon. The others are too messy.
Heeding the call
Raptures make for crappy euphemisms
nah…heeding the call and awaiting the rapture are full of win!
can’t we all just get along for the killer?!?
*polite golf clap*
Very nicely played, madam!
Martini?
the thought of a rolling Rapture appeals to me.
oh, they are appealing all right…girls are lucky that way…
I’m watching the Giro d”italia on the TeeVee, and the best euphemism I can come up with is cranking the pedals
Martini?
thank you sir…p’raps we can meet up after the rapture for a dry one…
Macho Man Randy Savage died today. That would be juicing the wrestler.
cranking the pedals
ouch…
thank you sir…p’raps we can meet up after the rapture for a dry one…
If hellfire and brimstone break out, that may be all we can have. But I’m up for a dry one
Macho Man Randy Savage died today. That would be juicing the wrestler.
or snapping into the slim jim…
or snapping into the slim jim…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! YEA!
You mean the location for the great final scene that tied all the story threads together? I thought that was a terrific production-design reproduction! (The scene was actually filmed in Fort Smith, as I recall…)
Pood forn:
Stouffer’s® Sautés FOR TWO™ Steak Gorgonzola Prime Rib Steak and Penne Pasta with Roasted Red Peppers and Sun-Dried Tomatoes tossed in a Creamy Alfredo Gorgonzola Sauce.
13 mins. heating & then I shoved the entire 24 oz. (680g) in my maw.
By the way, I could have nuked it, but went all gourmet & actually sautéd it in a pan, because the pkg. indicated that was “recommended.”
“Farewell, Christians — don’t let the gates of paradise hit you on the ass on your way out.”
http://thephoenix.com/boston/news/120935-bliss-of-rapture/#ixzz1Mwkz3MzF
Could somebody sum up the thread for me?
Were there euphemisms?
Hiya spear! Well we’ve had Jihadi Pissicles … discussions of the relative merits of whiskey brands…”D-KW’s mom’ (accompanied by clever verse from multiple peeples)…mutual support from Sadlies quitting smoking … an amusing (though stupid) Real Troll … and lots of Rapturing.
You know, the usual stuff.
(Summing up the thread….)
O man, that is an instant classic!!!
Aw, shucks. Props go out to tigris for leading the way in properly dealing with the trool.
Macho Man Randy Savage died today. That would be juicing the wrestler.
I never knew he was so religious. Witnesses to his “rapturing” stated that all that remained was a rhinestone studded cowboy hat and a pair of novelty sunglasses.
By the way, I could have nuked it, but went all gourmet & actually sautéd it in a pan, because the pkg. indicated that was “recommended.”
Whoa, man, you’ve gone all Broadway on us!
I simmered the bayjaysus out of a bunch of chicken gizzards, and have been eating gizzards and rice… note to self, buy gandules. I plan on foraging for a metric fuckton of stinging nettles over the next few days, so I’ll be eating nettles all next week. They are especially good creamed, but I think I’ll try making nettle gnocchi and nettle colcannon as well. Nettles to me are what coconuts are to this guy.
Larfed muchly, bbfk!
Also, Solidarity.
Nuking the steak
Heating the beef.
According to Sam Smith’s “Progressive Review” website, Australia has seen NO RAPTURE as was predicted by Harold “Family Radio” Camping. By this point the Rapture should have vaporized Christians at Midway or Guam, possibly any of Camping’s shortwave listeners in Eastern Siberia, but no dice.
Expect to see Harry in an old-folks home on Monday.
The banh mi was very good. Shatteringly crisp crust on the baguette, grilled lemon grass chicken and a nice complement of veggies. At the little Viet French bakery I went to, Dien Bien Phu JOKING!, they had a hot case with little pasty looking things I had not had before. Um, say that word ‘pasty’ as a Commonwealthrr would, k? Golden crisp phyllo-like dough with a Viet style meatball – DAMN! I’m going back for more.
Tonight, grilled mahi mahi tacos. Marinate fish in orange, lime, cilantro, ancho chili, jalapeño, whatever else I toss in there. Grill, serve in flour tortillas with shredded cabbage and chipotle lime crema and fresh mango/cuke salsa. Homemade frijoles refritos with queso fresco and home made tortilla chips. Composed salad of shredded carrot, shredded lettuce and diced tomato drizzled w/ great olive otl and lemon juice, salt and pepper. The tequila ischeap crap but the Margs are made with fresh limes and Cointreau. I would have made flan but I’m a lazy fuck and besides I HAD TO go for a ride this afternoon. I think there’s some ice cream and I know there’s berries.
God I love pigeon peas. The one place that used to carry them stopped, so I haven’t had them for ages. I was even hoping to germinate a couple last November for this summer’s garden but no luck. Hey, have you ever sauteed dandelion buds? If not, I think you might like them.
And fun link, Miss A., thanks!
what coconuts are to this guy
Excellent synopsis from the up-loader, too. I wondered how long Yo’ Semite Sam had been “on the Island.” (Helps w/ motivation.)
“SADLY, NO!”
Speaking of CAPITALIZING white:
Can someone explain why memeorandum links to semi-literate tripe like the above? (Also liberal. Are you libs an entirely different race?
Pigeon peesicles?
)
Too many conflicting stories on when the non-events won’t happen.
1800 local time,per the moneyed loon who started it, which some media mugwump interpreted to mean it would occur time zone by time zone. Then another weasel said it would be everywhere the instant 1800 occurred wherever it first occurred.
Uh oh, most recent earthquake was close.
Good-Bye, Cruel World.
What happened to yer sainthood, Looch?
Did St. Trotsky, Pope in Avignon excommunicate you or something?
Thanx to Pup (and the other Sadlies) for the excellent foor pr0n! I only cook sandwiches and nuke stuff, and every so often do something more complex. Like off-the-shelf, no-frills rice.
It’s nice to read about food artistry from actual artists.
…
That frozen yellow substance in a plastic bottle? It’s called a Trucker Bomb, not to be confused with a Road Twinkie.
chipotle lime crema sounds like a beautiful thing.
So what’s it like, Spear?
Not bad, but God (or Big Al, as He insists on being called) is a little overbearing. Personal boundaries, dude.
According to Sam Smith’s “Progressive Review” website, Australia has seen NO RAPTURE as was predicted by Harold “Family Radio” Camping.
The Antipodes gave their fundieloons (Ham, Bananboy Comfort) to the U.S.
I like an organized Armageddon
Here you go.
Spear,
Who else is around?
It’s basically just me, Big Al (of course), Jesus (who just sort of stands in the corner, not talking to anyone), Eugène François Vidocq, Joi Lansing, Horatio Nelson’s right eye, and some guy named Larry (or maybe Gary, I can’t remember).
Pretty dull, so far.
God I love pigeon peas. The one place that used to carry them stopped, so I haven’t had them for ages. I was even hoping to germinate a couple last November for this summer’s garden but no luck.
You should try a Latin American or Caribbean market. Pigeon peas are a staple of Caribbean cuisine, Anglophone and Latino.
Hey, have you ever sauteed dandelion buds? If not, I think you might like them.
Never tried them, only the greens, but it sounds good- squash flowers are really a treat, as are elder-blossoms.
I’ve been Ruptured.
Hmmm… lotta conflicting reports about elder-blossom toxicity… maybe grandmother was trying to kill me.
What happened to yer sainthood, Looch?
The St. moniker is applied when a troll appears, it makes it easier for someone who is totally against all troll-feeding to use a killfile.
When you go around getting all the post-Rapture stuff and moving into your spiffy new digs, please be kind to all the pets and critters and such that have been Left Behind.
Don’t worry, Fenwick, I have it on good authority that all dogs go to heaven.
Stuffed zuchini blossoms are a speiciality de maison.
B^4. Oh. I dint know that. I suppose there are also several schools of thought about how to deal Ignoring Them Utterly … Mocking Them Mercilessly … and so on. What do other Sadlies recommend?
You mean the location for the great final scene that tied all the story threads together? I thought that was a terrific production-design reproduction! (The scene was actually filmed in Fort Smith, as I recall…)
Imma needa cite.
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Depends on the troll and the thread- I am usually enjoying the regulars’ comments to much to be arsed feeding some dumbass troll. Every once in a while, one comes around who needs a beard-tweaking, and every once in a while a Gary Ruppert post comes across that is amusing.
Best Gary Ruppert line ever, “The fact is, fuck you!”
Stuffed zuchini blossoms are a speiciality de maison.
They are an awesome treat.
I have it on good authority that all dogs go to heaven.
Well, maybe in mass-market animations. But it a theologically insupportable proposition, at least in Christianity. (Not kidding, here.) One of the most intriguing essays on the subject is C.S. Lewis’s The Problem of Pain [in animals].
((I durst not venture any further; I try to keep my hiding-out-in-the-hills Xianity out of S,N.))
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073440/locations
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((I durst not venture any further; I try to keep my hiding-out-in-the-hills Xianity out of S,N.))
I, for one, am proud to tell everyone about my membership in the Church of Ledernacken.
Jeff: No citation available.
It’s an obscure S.N joke from months ago: During some conversation about films, the Sadlies spontaneously and collectively decided that all films were made in Arkansas, which is where VS lives.
I have it on good authority that all dogs go to heaven.Well, parts of the dog
B^4: Of course, I also belong to the Church of Baseball. (Blessed be Saint Annie Savoy.) Also I’m an Orthodox Hedonist.
I’m not going to make the cut for the Rapture and I know it. BTW, how far has it worked its way around the planet now?
t’s an obscure S.N joke from months ago: During some conversation about films, the Sadlies spontaneously and collectively decided that all films were made in Arkansas, which is where VS lives.
Oh, Well, I do feel like a n00b interloper, then.
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I think the Rolling Rapture is supposed to start on the west side of the International Date Line at 1 am Eastern Standard Time, and proceed west. So, should hit New Zealand in a couple of hours. Smut can advise us if Kiwi X-ians start to vanish then.
Jeff: S’alright. I only stepped out of lurkerhood about six months ago, so I’m still pretty much a n00b Sadlie, too. (Notice my question to B^4 above?) Arcane references from Truly Veteran Sadlies go right over my head.
(I’ve enjoyed your comments for some time, btw.)
(I’ve enjoyed your comments for some time, btw.)
That had to be some other Jeffraham, unless you’re an Atriot.
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That had to be some other Jeffraham
TinTin perhaps. (Damn, I wish I could find my Double-Secret Identity Roster. I haz a confoozed.)
Oh, Well, I do feel like a n00b interloper, then.
N00b? maybe, interloper? Never!
Well, thanks to all y’all. Now I’m embarrassed, and my palms are sweaty.
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Feline afterlife.
Y’know, I’m half tempted to go raid a Goodwill drop box and strategically place a few sets of clothing here and there looking as if the wearer had been beamed up right out of them. I wonder if you put them in the right spot near a rapturist haunt whether they’d think it had happened and passed them by. Boy, talk about bitter.
Interloping with sweaty palms
@Spearhafoc on twitter….
. Kim Jong-il WTF?
Smut can advise us if Kiwi X-ians start to vanish then.
It’s supposed to happen in 20 minutes, but by then we’ll be out for dinner at the local curry house. Fortunately the chef is Hindu so there is no fear of culinary interruptions.
Ruh Roh 6:01. It’s awful quiet for an apocalypse, not that I have anything to compare it to of course.
One would notice volcanoes and such one would think.
Any shaking? Other than the palsy, I mean?
If New Zild is rockin’
Don’t come knockin’.
Decidedly not rocking, not even the parsely. I don;t know why you’d be interested in that, crazy ‘Mericans
Yeah, you say there’s no apocalypse, AK, but how do we know you’re not just covering up? We all know how devious you Kiwis are. That’s just what you WANT us to think, isn’t it? Well, I’m ON TO YOU!
People who make the effort to snark off the Internet.
“Pointless?” Not by me.
Most recent quake, a 4.8 in the Solomons an hr. ago. Bum-mer! Guess we’re stuck w/ those clowns.
This Yank would rather stalk celery.
Stalking the celery.
Any guesses on how the End-O-the-World predicter explains the non-Rapture to the press (much less his flock)?
Here are some possibilites that occured to me.
(1) An earnest prayer of supplication moved the Lord, who relented in His Infinite Mercy.
(2) Blames Bishop Usher for bad data.
(3) Blames it on the heathen Mayans and infidel Muslims with their confusing, pagan, non-Christian calendars.
(4) The Devil’s work.
He already screwed it up once, in the ’90s, & blamed that a math error due to “forgetting a book of the Bible” or something. (Using McArdle’s calculator?)
That may wash again.
Mrs. Kiwi says that New Zild has been spared because of our awesomeness. Sorry but youse are still going to cop it. Hey, I don’t make the rules.
Fucking rapture, how does that work?
My only regret is that it’s too late now to write a faux-Truth comment about initial denial when the first results trickle in from New Zealand turning into the Great Non-Christian Freak-out of 2011.
Morning, everyone!
What’s shakin’?
My only regret is that it’s too late now to write a faux-Truth comment about initial denial when the first results trickle in from New Zealand turning into the Great Non-Christian Freak-out of 2011.
Do what every other nihilist has done.
Claim a math error, state an alternate date a bit down the road, and now you can “bookmark it”.
Yeah PM big plus for DIY sous-vide. I’ve already got a couple of temp controllers but unless I’m cooking something really big the Yeti (it was a gift) is all I need. While I’d never pay for one of those they really are great coolers. Among the best things I’ve found to sous-vide: lamb pops, T-bones and eggs. (Eggs; 150F for 34 minutes, ice bath, crack and drop in simmering water or stock for 1.5 minutes. They hold their shape and are perfect.)
Armagideon watch: nothing yet. My MIL is still expected at 6pm this afternoon.
Arkansas, which is where VS lives.
I believe she was born there but now stalks appliances in the high sierra and tundra of Virginia.
I believe she was born there but now stalks appliances in the high sierra and tundra of Virginia.
She drives two SUVs?????
150F for 34 minutes
That’s a damned HARD boiled egg…
Clearly he was going to use the urine to form a traditional Muslim ritual pee-knife or ‘kukri’.
I’m up on the 4th floor of the hotel and I haven’t seen anyone come floating up past my window yet.
And I’m on South Carolina – so you’d think there would be a few here.
I don’t think it would come out hard boiled, though
Actor – time is not the factor, max temp is. That’s _minimum_ 34 minutes. That’s the beauty of sous vide – the item is cooked perfectly (except for browning in the case of meats) and it holds for hours. Using beef as an example, one cooks it to 135F and once there, it can be used immediately or leave it in the bath for several hours.
Actor – time is not the factor, max temp is
This is not a pre-rapture cooking method, I would argue.
Nuking, that’s the ticket.
Just a clarification (and I can see why it might be confusing): I was born in South Carolina and raised in SC and Arkansas (mostly AR). I represent the best of America’s Taint!
I currently reside Communist (You know…where all the Black people are) Virginia.
America’s Taint is the panhandle of Florida. Everyone knows this!
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I just now learned that the crazy woman from Fresh Air th other day, the Roswell/Area 51/Mengele/Stalin woman, was previously best known as the “Muslim terrorist dry run plane freak out” woman. Go figure.
Here’s the thing:
The Rupture happened over 2 decades ago but the fundies are still waiting because neither they nor anyone they know was called home.
As it happens, the only ones judged pure enough for Rupture were members of several primitive isolated tribes in the Amazon, New Guinea, Siberia, and other places that the first world is busy destroying. “…but…but…but…THAT’S not FAIR!!!,” you hear the fundies crying out. “THOSE people are HEATHENS – they’ve never even HEARD of Jesus!!” Yeah, maybe so. Yet somehow they knew it was wrong to come barging into YOUR home and trash it…something you couldn’t be bothered to stop doing even after Jesus told you it was wrong, because you were just sure that you were better than them so that made it ok for you to steal their stuff and destroy their homes.
That photoshopped picture of Obama as a witch doctor that you morons loved waving around at your Hoverround conventions? A bunch of guys who looked JUST LIKE THAT were the ones who got raptured.
Enjoy your troubles with Tribbles, idjits. According to your interpretaton of your scripture, you only have to endure another thousand years of Gingriches, Santorums, Palins, Bachmanns and their ilk before you’ll be clean enough to meet Jesus, though I wouldn’t count on it even then.
Enjoy your troubles with Tribbles, idjits.
I thought Trump had dropped out? *boggle*
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150F for 34 minutes
That’s a damned HARD boiled egg…
Really it’s not even coddled yet but the proteins in the white have coagulated enough so that it holds it’s shape when you flash poach it. It’s a great trick and kg’s link above has more detail.
As it happens, the only ones judged pure enough for Rupture were members of several primitive isolated tribes in the Amazon, New Guinea, Siberia, and other places that the first world is busy destroying.
I believe that Mildred Jones of Davenport Iowa also made the cut. She is dearly missed by her family.
“This Yank would rather stalk celery.”
Yanking the stalk.
Too obvious? Improper construction?
Fucking humor, how does that work?
I don’t think it qualifies as euphemism, it is literally accurate.
Jennifer is roughly correct
How long do you cook a Yeti?
As long as it fucking well wants to be cooked.
Is it done yeti?
Coddling the eggs.
Cooking the yeti
I would argue that the male ability and affinity for couch-lying-masturbation is one of the better pieces of evidence for intelligent design.
You’re right I focused on the time and missed the temperature.
Just out of curiousity, for those of us who need to hire a woman to do all the housework, how does one keep the temperature at 150 degrees? I have a gas stove. I’ve never been able to simmer anything for even half that long.