Apr
7

Shorter Dr. Mrs. Ole Perfesser




Posted at 23:35 by Brad

Obama vs. McCain Bumper Stickers

  • Watch me use Barack Obama’s bumper stickers to prove that he’s really just another divisive race-baiter like Al Sharpton who… aw shit, McCain’s doing the same thing. Disregard!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

As an aside, do you think there will ever come a point where any of these guys will become too embarrassed to ever blog again? Do I dare to dream?

102 Comments »

  1. SomeNYGuy said,

    April 7, 2008 at 23:40

    do you think there will ever come a point where any of these guys will become too embarrassed to ever blog again?

    Sadly, no. Utter shamelessness is one of their most salient characteristics.

  2. Jay B. said,

    April 7, 2008 at 23:41

    So McCain wants to get in on the Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss bumper sticker game, eh?

    Well, TWO can play at that game:

    [Incontinent Old Men for Obama]
    [Another Social Security Cripple for Obama]
    [I h8 Whitey]

  3. Marita said,

    April 7, 2008 at 23:41

    Psst…. Brad… I think it’s Barack with one r

  4. Five of Diamonds said,

    April 7, 2008 at 23:44

    She’s just mad they left her identity group off of the bumper sticker list: Escaped Mental Patients for Obama.

  5. Jas said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:02

    And this woman is a psychologist?

    “Why must people categorize themselves like this? I mean, it’s almost like it’s a natural feature of the human brain or something!”

  6. PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:03

    Sort of on topic, perhaps my favorite political bumper sticker of all time appeared in Pa when we were preparing to (finally) ditch the Santorum. Just two words, “Dump Rick” plus ‘06′ or something. But the font and spacing etc were *very* well done. It’s impossible to look at one and NOT read “Dum Prick”

    I still have one around here somewhere….

  7. TomMil said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:07

    I jazzed up the Hispanics and African American’s for McCain buttons but my better judgment prevailed.

  8. PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:07

    dumprick ‘06

  9. OneMan said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:24

    Also, shorter Kraphammer:

    Hillary’s a liar liar pants on fire! And Obama gets a pass from the media. Why doesn’t anybody listen to meeee!

  10. astanhope said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:26

    Check out this photo of her:

    http://instapundit.com/archives2/images/helenselfportsm.jpg

    Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Eliot Spitzer’s flame-for-rent Ms. Dupre?

  11. Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:29

    (I wish I’d had my camera on me but since I am now carrying a wallet instead of a purse, I never have anything–this experiment won’t last long)-

    Mrs. Cyborg Lawyer from the Future still doesn’t have a cell phone w/ a camera? She must be sent to Carousel immediately!

  12. FGFM said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:30

    I was looking for some images of the various bumper sticker put out by the Nixon campaign of ‘72 that appealed to various identity groups and came up with this blast from the past from Althouse. Those darned A-rabs!

  13. You know what time it is! said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:39

  14. Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:39

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  15. FGFM said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:45

    Maybe Dr. Helen could have asked Ann for one of her spare cameras last time they spoke.

    bloggingheads.tv

  16. bET YOU DIDN'T KNOW i GREW UP IN kANSAS... said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:05

    ROCK CHALK JAYHAWKS!

    BEAK ‘EM HAWKS!!!1!

    WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!111111!!

  17. t4toby said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:07

    Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Eliot Spitzer’s flame-for-rent Ms. Dupre?

    Oh, hells no! What, did you find a picture of her right after she got up? That’s like saying Brittney Spears looks like Scarlett Johansson.

  18. Jennifer said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:10

    Oddly enough, there’s no “Total Fucking Morons for McCain” buttons or apparel.

    One would think they’d be in high demand, considering who’s in his base.

  19. t4toby said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:20

    How about Retired People for McCain?

    Angry Old Men for McCain?

    The GET OFF MY LAWN! Association for McCain?

    Complete Know-Nothings for McCain?

    Am I getting anywhere here?

  20. comsympinko said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:23

    “As an aside, do you think there will ever come a point where any of these guys will become too embarrassed to ever blog again?”

    You better hope they continue blogging.

    Without the endless stream of delusional bullshit they spew you’d be out of a job.

  21. Righteous Bubba said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:24

    Job. Heh.

  22. Bumper Sticker Express said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:26

    People Who Presumably Slept Through The Entire Last Eight Fucking Years For A Patently Senile And Phoney Barry Goldwater Skeleton.

    You would need a big car.

  23. t4toby said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:29

    Yeah, how do I sign up for the sweet Moonbat Welfare that the peeps @ Sadly, No! are rollin in?

    SOROS!!!!

  24. Jennifer said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:30

    I really do want a sticker with McCain’s picture that says “You Kids Get Off My Lawn!!!”

  25. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    April 8, 2008 at 1:47

    Grumpier Old Men for McCane.

  26. Argonaut said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:01

    Undertakers for McCain

  27. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:16

    Trollops with Plastered-on Makeup for McCain!

  28. ¡El Gato Negro! said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:17

    “experienced democratic operative” Who Reeks of BullShit-Moose dung for McCain

  29. ¡El Gato Negro! said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:18

    Dog-Barbecuing Jew Counters for McCain

  30. Jeopardude said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:20

    Smarmy Press Corps for McCain

  31. Galactic Dustbin said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:20

    “Suck-Ups For McCain. My Friend, That’s A Lovely Grill Your Car Has”

  32. mikey said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:20

    the various bumper sticker put out by the Nixon campaign of ‘72

    The ultimate one said:

    “Don’t change Dicks in the middle of a screw, Richard Nixon in ‘72″

    And no, dammit, I DON’T have one…

    mikey

  33. gbear said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:22

    ‘Rapture Candidate for McCain”

    The comments below that link make Dr Mrs look like a beacon of rationality.

  34. Smut Clyde said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:24

    Viet Cong for McCain.

  35. PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:29

    Manchurians for McCain

  36. PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:30

    The Undead for McCain

  37. PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:31

    Lobbyists for McCain / Presidents for rent

  38. EnfantTerrible said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:33

    “Vets of the 30-Years War for McCain”

    That would go on the back of an oxcart.

  39. J— said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:35

    Millionaires for McCain

  40. Smut Clyde said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:35

    What’s Middle English for “Vets of the 100-Years War for McCain”?

  41. a different brad said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:36

    Brad, Brad, Brad.
    Megan McArdle has conclusively shown through irrefutable logic that it’s better to get every major issue wrong than right, because then you have mistakes to learn from.
    What’s the use in trying to make the best choice in crucial decisions? Live n learn, unless you die in service in Iraq, of course.

  42. Jay B. said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:36

    Field Marshals for McCain

  43. PeeJ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:37

    And for the multi-faith families,

    Whores of Babylon for McCain
    ———————————–
    Heretics for McCain

  44. Marv "Saul" Albert said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:37

    Boom-shaka-shalom!

  45. Blue Buddha said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:38

    FGFM said,

    April 8, 2008 at 0:30

    I was looking for some images of the various bumper sticker put out by the Nixon campaign of ‘72 that appealed to various identity groups and came up with this blast from the past from Althouse. Those darned A-rabs!

    Let’s see: “Even a smile is charity”, “Nobody is perfect, ask for forgiveness”, “If you want peace, work for justice”, “The most excellent jihad is that for conquest of self”… damned A-rabs indeed!

  46. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:39

    Centenarians for McCain, for a Youthful Tomorrow.

  47. Blue Buddha said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:41

    Beer Warm piss drinkers for McCain

  48. Jennifer said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:44

    McCain pictured in rap-hop gear: “McCain in the Membrane”.

    You know, for the black youth outreach.

  49. SomeNYGuy said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:48

    Dead-Enders for McCain

    War Criminals for McCain

    Giant Fire-Breathing Japanese Movie Monsters for McCain

  50. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:52

    Butler: still stupid after all these years.

  51. Argonaut said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:52

    Damn you PeeJ – I thought of Manchurians in the shower*, and when I came out all clean and intelligent, there you were already.

    * how they got in my shower I’ll never know…

  52. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 8, 2008 at 2:57

    Republicans in the news.

    During four years’ worth of visits to Orange County’s courthouses, the child molester put his tall, thin, thirtysomething frame inside dapper suits, wore conservative haircuts and occasionally propped designer sunglasses on top of his head. His frosty blue eyes emitted an unmistakable air of superiority. Other criminal defendants mistook him for a prosecutor.

    This façade had served the 37-year-old Ladera Ranch man well, helping him get a job as a Washington, D.C., congressional aide to Representative Dana Rohrabacher, win close friendships with political heavyweights such as Orange County Republican Party bosses Scott Baugh and Tom Fuentes—oh, and lure impressionable seventh-, eighth- and ninth-grade boys into sexual relationships.

    IOKIYAR, eh limp?

  53. Patkin said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:00

    White Flag Makers for Obama

    In AMERICA, young man, our flag makers are color blind. So I won’t have you dividing our white or black flag manufacturers for the sake of your disgusting racism.

    You sicken me.

  54. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:00

    You forgot Islamo-Fascist Terrorists for Obama.

    Yes, they would favor the guy who actually promises to go kill their leader. Instead of the lying sack of shit currently in the White House who would never remove the politically useful Osama.

    “No Womyn, and No Negros!” for McCain.

  55. The Von Trapp children said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:05

    When the dog bites,
    When the bee stings,
    When I’m feeling sad,
    I realize I’m not one of Shoelimpy’s things,
    And then I don’t feel so bad.

  56. gbear said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:08

    Every vote for Obama explodes a wingnut head.

  57. g said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:09

    Yes, I’d love it if Condi got out there on the campaign trail and had to answer questions about her performance in her current and previous job.

    Like how well she could protect us against a 9/11 attack.

  58. gbear said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:09

    But Rice is someone that both the left and right can agree sucks. The people talking about her as VP are morons.

  59. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:09

    Did some chickenhawk coward mention rice?

  60. acrannymint said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:10

    I posted this in the Star Parker thread (prefaced by a comment relevant to the thread) so please forgive the OTness of it
    for all of you socal sadly, nosians – I am going to be in Carlsbad, CA at a conference in May and will have some play time. Any recommendations would be appreciated. njmemail(at)verizon.net

  61. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:13

    Actually I read in the news this morning that Condoleeza Rice is being seriously considered for McCain’s VP slot. She is both black and a woman. And there are plenty of women and African Americans who strongly support Mr. McCain. I find your racism disgusting.

    Nah Gah Hap Pen, fuckface. And if you can’t tell the difference between parodying the racism of wingnuts like yourself and displaying actual racism, you’re possibly almost as mentally retarded as your co-”blogger” Courtney Love-style train wreck known as “Annieangel”. Has she gotten clean yet? I hope so. Because her ramblings make Paris Hilton sound informed and eloquent.

  62. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:13

    Bible-thumping End-Timers for the Old-Timer.

  63. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:14

    Every time a Republican votes for McCain, tens of thousands more people die.

  64. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:16

    Every time a Republican votes for McCain, a new Al-Queda Recruitment Poster is Made.

  65. gbear said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:16

    wow, thanks Shoelimpy. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

  66. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:17

    Every time Shoelimpy opens its mouth, a flurpee is made.

  67. Ted said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:23

    If a shoelimpy posts something on its blog, and no one ever reads it, was it ever really posted?

  68. Satan's Dirty Underwear said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:29

    Pedophile. And I vote. Republican.

  69. mikey said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:32

    #

    shoelimpy™ said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:20

    Bradrockets who can’t handle it when Republicans are funnier than him and have to start deleting his posts for Obama

    Dood. No.

    Come back here and look what you did here.

    You oughta be embarrassed. What kind of weak idiot would actually post this? And no, you can’t have it back. It’s out there.

    So much of “shoelimpy” (gad, even the name it chose for itself is embarrassing) is just sad. An angry child picking it’s nose and flinging boogers at a world it cannot understand.

    It doesn’t have an ideology. It just desperately wants someone, anyone, to pay attention to it.

    But sometimes, the tantrum reveals itself for what it is.

    Here, for example. An angry, self referential, dishonest cry for attention.

    What a sad, stupid little creature.

    Go away, little creature. You have filled your pants with an evil smelling load of stupid right there in public again. And you’ll still never learn to participate in an actual political exchange of ideas, because you come to it from a second-grade playground place.

    When you can make Sadly, No! look erudite, you’ve done all you can…

    mikey

  70. billy pilgrim said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:34

    OK, Jennifer, I would pay for a “McCain In The Membrane” bumper sticker.

  71. Ripley said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:48

    The only professional football game I ever attended was Bears v. Packers at (the NEW! and totally not gay-designed or alien looking!!) Soldiers Field, a few years back. That’s beside the point… But on the way into said (NEW! and totally not gay-designed or alien looking!!) stadium, there was a tiny sticker on a pay phone or (not gay or phallic!!) pole that said:

    Drunk Drivers for Bush!

    Bears won. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  72. goat or panic said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:56

    Condi for VP? Wonder how the Focus-on-the-Family-Abstinence-until-Marriage types will handle that?

    Dobson hates McCain enough as it is.

    Sorry, Sadly Limpy, Republicans will not vote for a never-been-married woman to the VP slot. Regardless of how incompetent she is.

  73. Me said,

    April 8, 2008 at 4:11

    It was funny to read all of the commentors before she did her mea culpa update. Variations on “Leave it to a Democrat to exploit identity politics”, etc. Not that we should expect any apologies from them.

  74. Blue Buddha said,

    April 8, 2008 at 4:24

    Ripley said,

    April 8, 2008 at 3:48

    But on the way into said (NEW! and totally not gay-designed or alien looking!!) stadium, there was a tiny sticker on a pay phone or (not gay or phallic!!) pole that said:

    I was getting gas at a station in a suburb of Columbus, OH, back when gas was at the now low, low price of $2.50/gal. Next to the price gauge, someone etched: “Thank a Republican”

  75. Jason said,

    April 8, 2008 at 4:30

    Not to mention the “yeah, but McCain supporters aren’t buying them, so McCain’s not really doing it” defence. Plus they weren’t there a couple of months ago – are the stickers really even there now? Some say they never existed. How do you respond to these allegations of unfair abuse directed towards Senator McCain?

  76. AkaDad said,

    April 8, 2008 at 4:56

    Gooks for McCain

    Trollops for McCain

  77. Mike Meyer said,

    April 8, 2008 at 6:16

    OT: FORCE CONGRESS TO IMPEACH GEORGE BUSH AND DICK CHENEY, call Nancy Pelosi @1-202-225-0100 and DEMAND IMPEACHMENT. DC business hours only, call often, and spread it around. IMPEACHMENT investigations would crush Mccains hopes for the Presidency.

  78. mojo said,

    April 8, 2008 at 6:24

    Depends on McCain

  79. Latchkey Man said,

    April 8, 2008 at 6:31

    Unused Bombs for McCain

  80. Latchkey Man said,

    April 8, 2008 at 6:33

    Homer Simpson’s Father for McCain

    “Matlock!!!!!!”

  81. Steve in CO said,

    April 8, 2008 at 7:33

    Pinching a Loaf for McCain?

    Stealing McCain’s meds 4 a Buzz 08?

    Ugenicsists 4 McCain?

    Los Alamos Contractor who might get laid off for McCain 08?

    44 Old white men in a row please 4 McCain?

    oh, I could go on… but I know, stop…

  82. anon said,

    April 8, 2008 at 7:42

    Meanwhile checkout LGM’s Dave Noon describing Juan Williams as an Uncle Tom. Watch as the professor he cites comes by and tells him he is a divisive dipshit. Is stupidity confined to the right? Sadly, no.

  83. Smut Clyde said,

    April 8, 2008 at 8:08

    Meanwhile checkout LGM’s Dave Noon describing Juan Williams as an Uncle Tom

    I’ve been watching that LGM thread for a few days, and it is indeed full of nutty goodness, with some whackjob called Wow putting the words “Uncle Tom” into the LGM contributor’s mouth, flailing around wildly at other commentors, finding opportunities to complain about feminism, and finally concluding that the commentators are collectively “dehumaniz[ing] others all in the name of your amazing liberal penises.”
    The historian whose work started the whole furore then drops in to ask mildly for “more nuance, less name-calling,” but is left aghast when Wow puts words in his mouth. Fair enough. You don’t know where those words have been.

  84. Crissa said,

    April 8, 2008 at 8:45

    “Future Leaders” AKA “White Rich People”

    Awesome.

  85. No Bloggers Allowed « Terraformed said,

    April 8, 2008 at 13:30

    [...] No Bloggers Allowed Shorter Dr. Mrs. Ole Perfesser [...]

  86. Clifford Kincaid said,

    April 8, 2008 at 14:17

    Kill Whitey and raise the the big red flag of socialism!

    Bitch is the new black but black is the new President!

  87. The Politzanian Citizenry said,

    April 8, 2008 at 14:23

    Dr. Helen–the Emily Latella of the blogosphere.

    .

  88. The dude abides said,

    April 8, 2008 at 14:49

    Given the story the other day about McCain’s temper and outburst toward his wife, how about this: “Cunts for McCain”

  89. jri said,

    April 8, 2008 at 15:43

    Do you people even know what “race-baiting” means?

    “Kill Whitey and raise the the big red flag of socialism!
    Bitch is the new black but black is the new President!” – Clifford Kincaid

    Wait.. I guess you do!

  90. GoatBoy said,

    April 8, 2008 at 16:43

    Yes, Republicans. Please put a black, figure skating, concert pianist, closet lesbian on the ticket. That’ll work out great for you.

  91. aldorossi said,

    April 8, 2008 at 17:45

    Reasonably attractive women who are married to yucky dorks for McCain!

  92. Peter Principle said,

    April 8, 2008 at 17:54

    McCain’s doing the same thing.

    Yeah, but nobody’s using them.

    Now if they sold an “Insane Culture Warriors for McCain” bumpersticker . . .

  93. Parrotlover77 said,

    April 8, 2008 at 18:10

    “Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Isn’t my wife hot?”

    No. Next question?

  94. Athenawise said,

    April 8, 2008 at 18:21

    Yellow-toothed geezers for McCain.

  95. Tone In DC said,

    April 8, 2008 at 18:29

    I am amazed that he called her that in public.

    Bad temper or no, with all those people around you have to bite your tongue. I don’t know if McCaint has PTSD from his POW/tortured years. That might make him, uh…
    Unpredictable.
    Still, I figure she got even, walk-in medicine cabinet or no. In the end, it is her money. That no doubt ends any argument, I figure.

    The Wayne Brady riffs are hilarious, guys.

  96. zzzz said,

    April 8, 2008 at 18:54

    “Drunk Drivers for Bush!”

    i didnt make the one in chicago, but i had the same idea and put them up around the suburbs of philadelphia. mine had a pink republican elephant for the extra clever.

  97. noname said,

    April 8, 2008 at 19:13

    Gee!Hypocrisy from a rethug!Who’d a thunk such a thing?

  98. Padre Mickey said,

    April 8, 2008 at 20:06

    I didn’t see any “Panamanians for McCain” or “Canal Zonians for McCain” stickers on that site.

  99. pablo said,

    April 9, 2008 at 0:00

    Panamaniacs for McCain.

    McCain for MacJobs.

    Dyslexics for McCain. Untied we stand.

    McCain. Live free or Die bold.

  100. Bill Frist said,

    April 9, 2008 at 0:07

    Hunderdth!

  101. Jennifer said,

    April 9, 2008 at 0:14

    I’m a little disappointed that everyone either didn’t get or was totally underwhelmed by the punchline in my 2:44 post, though I appreciate billy pilgrim’s enthusiasm for the bumper sticker idea.

    But, I mean, seriously dudes, black youth outreach?

  102. Duros Hussein 62 said,

    April 9, 2008 at 19:56

    Hey kids! Now you can make your own!

    http://johnmccainisyournewlogo.com/

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