My Weapon Of Warrior Wisdom Is My Fist (Or A Throwing Star)
If you’re like me, you may have been wondering what our brutish friend Warrior has been foked on lately. Turns out he’s been scrawling words of ‘Warrior Wisdom’ on index cards and trying to sell them for $100 a pop. Some samples below:
Always believe? Fuck that pussy shit – AlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieve AlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieve AlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieve AlwaysbelieveAlwaysbelieve MOTHERFUCKAS!
Today’s Warrior Weapon of Wisdom: Have terrible body odor, really bad breath and whack off a lot — and watch the world tremble before your greatness!
Who knew that Aldous Huxley wanted our every cell to be full-blown and swollen large? Brave New World? More like Brave Goo Hurled!
YEAH! ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO MOCK ME ARE GONNA SHUT UP WHEN I’M ALL ROIDED OUT AND HAVE A MULLET AND WEAR RIDICULOUS ZUBAZ PANTS!
ABOVE: The Destrucity is strong with these ones.
We’re not sure what ‘Warrior B.A.D.’ is, but apparently enough of it is required to kick your own ass, so maybe it’s some combination of being double-jointed and having really long legs.
Free will is ‘Man’s NUMBER ONE ENEMY’? Wait, what? It’s been that way since ‘the beginning of time’, you say? Oh, alright then. Carry on. Also, it would be cool if Warrior started adding a Frida Kahlo monobrow when he draws himself in triumphant muscle scribbles.
Finally:
The Warrior’s originalist understanding of the constitution is perfectly understandable.
Leave the schizophrenic artist alone D.A.
Oh for Chist’s sake.
Really?
Looks like the last war he fought was against a bag of Ding-Dongs. And lost.
Free will is ‘Man’s NUMBER ONE ENEMY’?
The fact is, the Heartland Rush fan club is going to have an emergency session to determine whether we need to excommunicate the Warrior. I don’t care how many bags of Cheetos he has brought to meetings, this shall not stand.
Thrist?
Holy shit, I found the beginning of a thread?!
Far out!
Here I thought I was just lonely but I was producing GREATNESS.
Christ’s.
Gorram WP.
Here I thought I was just
lonelyPOOPing but I was producing GREATNESS.Fits’d.
When your only weapon is self belief everything looks like a nail. The self belief that stands the tallest gets pounded down the hardest.
ZUBAZ NATION UBER ALLES!
His GREATNESS is apparent in the picture.
Trouble is, stupid sells well in America, if it’s packaged right…
People…….actually bought them…
Pride and Respect within one’s DESTINY submit only to a show of self-inflicted FORCE!
It all makes sense now.
As I’ve told you before, warriors, you can’t depend on others to motivate you. You have to do the work yourself. And you have to do the work every day — every single day. I do, too. And this is one of the routine things I do to go about it.
If this guy gets a mohawk and starts mumbling “are talkin’ to ME?
are you talkin’ to ME?” best buy one of his inspirations and run.
Dude has been watching too much Doctor Who. (Unlikely but possible.)
And decided the Daleks are the heroes.
Dumbass redneck dipshit. By the way, warrior. Zubaz!? I thought the only acceptable Zubaz looked like a flag pin or battle dress.
People…….actually bought them…
Wing-nut wrestling fans. They’re used to paying big money for outrageous horseshit.
[skips gladly into new thread, looks around, backs away slooooowly]
The “Warrior” just might be able to kick his own ass if he can get off the couch.
Dude has been watching too much Doctor Who. (Unlikely but possible.)
Nonsense. The Doctor refuses to use weapons, and is clearly a liberal. Beyond that, he hangs out with the British, and that is near France. And the show is produced by the BBC, so SOCALIZM.
I just gave up art. Thanks a fucking lot. I’m done.
BTW, the couch guy wearing Zubaz and practicing child cruelty isn’t Warrior – he’s somebody who posted that picture on the Zubaz Nation section of the Zubaz website. Warrior is really still yoked out as far as I know.
Mal,
I bow to your superior logic.
*grumble bitch frumpish winglestanger*
112th Congress = LOLgress?
Nonsense. The Doctor refuses to use weapons, and is clearly a liberal.
Plus, the last two have been kinda…you know…*makes limp-wristed motion*
*grumble bitch frumpish winglestanger*
And I bow to your invocation of Yosimite Sam.
The one with George Washington in warrior makeup convinced me this guy is the real deal!
No lulz, Mat. Yet.
Batshit crazy Shelly Bachmanns Krazy Konstitutional Klasses?
Let the Wild, Wild, World of Wacky Wingnuts kommence!!!
Plus, the last two have been kinda…you know…*makes limp-wristed motion*
I’m picturing the Warrior watching any of the Doctors appearing on Graham Norton Show. The question is, would the Warrior be outraged, a little curious, or both?
“Greatness is not given…It is beaten out of oneself.”
That’s what I told Sister Celestine when she caught me doing my thing in the sacristy back in 1978 but it didn’t calm anyone down any.
In that first picture, I believe Warrior used each and every crayon in the BIG BIG BOX OF CRAYONS. Class, that is how it is done! Warrior gets 5 more minutes of recess today.
Jeez, I’m straight and I’d nail David Tennant in a heartbeat.
Although, being straight, ideally Billie Piper and Lalla Ward would be in the mix.
Don’t make eye contact.
My name is Warrior. I live by a warrior philosophy of life conceived by unique physical life experiences, serious introspection, and many years of enlightened self-study. My Creator endowed me with naturally high testosterone levels, unusual self-discipline, stalwart refusal to compromise right with wrong, and a very low tolerance for hypocrites, liars, enablers, piecemeal practice of principle, emasculated males, political-correctness, and oppressive, anti-freedom caca that doesn’t work in the private backyard of my own individual life. I am a “Being” Created with the ability to judge, so I do. I am a male also inspired by men who have held greater ideals and have done much greater things than any of us who are living today
Maybe too much sharing. I blame a russian gentleman named Smirnoff.
Not Yakov.
I am a male also inspired by men who have held greater ideals and have done much greater things than any of us who are living today
Okay, now I’m sure he would be a little curious about Graham Norton.
I want to find a time machine, go back to my childhood and slap Young BlackBloc in the face for
1) being a pro-wrestling fan
2) actually liking the Ultimate Warrior
Jeez, I’m straight and I’d nail David Tennant in a heartbeat.
Keep your hands off my boyfriend.
Heartland Rush fan club? I guarantee it involves a Canadian rock band.
On Topic: This dude is seriously fucked up.
Aside: am I the only one to think that if we do invent time machines, like all technology it’s going to end up mostly being about PENIS? Like, time travel sexual tourism, weirdo fetishists whose fantasies is to boink their own grandma, this sort of things?
That Warrior screed is straight out of Robert Bly. Didn’t that drumming bullshit die a merciful death 15 years ago?
Aside: am I the only one to think that if we do invent time machines, like all technology it’s going to end up mostly being about PENIS? Like, time travel sexual tourism, weirdo fetishists whose fantasies is to boink their own grandma, this sort of things?
RULE 34 ISREAL!
More surprising deepspiration –
And I am always a little surprised others are surprised that I have. I just don’t think it is a thing to be surprised by — or give praise to. I think it is better that we save ourselves to be surprised, and ashamed, of others who don’t. It’s also just as natural that my philosophy of life —
See, when the guy playing the Undertaker started talking about stealing souls for real during lunch breaks, he was labeled crazy.
On Topic: This dude is seriously fucked up.
Maybe all those fake blows to the head gave him fake brain damage.
Wait. I don’t follow WWE or pro rasslin’ or anything (I can remember seeing fat guys fake rasslin’ on Canadian TeeVee back in the ’60s and while the spectacle is now greater, the core remains the same) so I was uninformed about this Warrior dude.
Now I’m informed (by reading 1/4 of his “who am I” page) and I have to ask: Who the fuck takes these guys seriously? What’s wrong with people?
“Among our many weapons are fear, pretty Zubaz uniforms, a fanatical devotion to the Pope, a fist or a throwing star, and a deeply ingrained sense of masculinity and my father never loved me…”
2) actually liking the Ultimate Warrior
You should be ashamed. A moveset more limited than Hulk Hogan’s, the complete inability to sell, match pacing that made the WWE Main Event style seem like an improvement despite an almost cruiserweight work rate.
Also, considering how much he bought into his own gimmick, I wouldn’t be surprised if he worked stiff too.
Horrible, terrible wrestler.
Jeez, I’m straight and I’d nail David Tennant in a heartbeat.
You saying you think of him while beating greatness out of yourself?
Got off the boat:
Irony is dead, and the Warrior is fucking the corpse.
Tigris,
Black and blue.
3) I lead an active, constructive and fulfilling life. Despite inaccurate rumors, vindictive mischaracterizations [sic], and flagrant defamation claiming otherwise, the reality is I have built an incredibly empowered life on my OWN terms.
Something tells me there are some locker-room incidents waiting to come to light.
I live by a code. A code that says my code is better than your code, and I have been Created to stand in Judgement of just how poorly your code compares to my code. I shall not serve any man, nor bow to any demand of of our so called society; for as long as mom lets me stay with her, I am truly Independent in ways you lesser men cannot even comprehend. To know me is to idolize and envy me, I am sure.
They’re spawning! A fan comments:
As I write on my profile:
“”Some people want me dead…
Some people want me to be failed…
Some people want me to be tortured on their curses…
But if you were born as Warrior, then their curses goes back to their creators… And you are able to beat and kill all the gods and all the demons…
And then nothing ends! Everything evolves …!”
No One’s Son, Jimmy Bloody Rose”
Freewill is “man’s number one enemy” and has been since “the beginning of time” … ? So we’re all destined to have our place in society, and need to fight against any attempt at choosing how to live one’s life, because it’s already been decided?
Sounds to me that what he’s espousing is basically eugenics wrapped up in an idiotic attempt to create a warrior-based philosophy.
Sun Tzu would not be impressed.
for as long as mom lets me stay with her, I am truly Independent in ways you lesser men cannot even comprehend
WIN!
We’re not sure what ‘Warrior B.A.D.’
BELIEF ATTITUDE and DISCIPLINE. The Warrior Code is kind of like a one-time pad except the key is the same document as the text.
Fixxed to replace faux manliness with real facts.
According to the website, he’s actually sold some of them. I’m not sure I believe it.
I also like this bit: “If you like one that has been SOLD, let me know and I would be happy to commission another Original of the same design and quote.”
I don’t think the word “original” (excuse, me “Original”) means what he thinks it means. Or for that matter, “commission.” The artist isn’t the one doing the commissioning, the patron is.
I’ve been blissfully ignorant of rasslin’ and see no reason to change now. HOWEVER, I am thrilled to learn of such things as Zubaz pants. I see that they offer them in a particularly hideous snakeskin pattern. The red and purple snakeskin pattern Zubaz pants will make the PERFECT birthday gift for a friend of mine who’s afraid of even pictures of snakes. (I’m running out of cheap Thomas Kinkaide crap to give him just to make him cry…)
I’ve heard Nyquil can help with your code.
I picture this guy huffing his armpits.
You should be ashamed. A moveset more limited than Hulk Hogan’s, the complete inability to sell, match pacing that made the WWE Main Event style seem like an improvement despite an almost cruiserweight work rate.
Also, considering how much he bought into his own gimmick, I wouldn’t be surprised if he worked stiff too.
Horrible, terrible wrestler.
You really know how to sweet-talk the ladies.
Can you smell what the Warrior is smokin’?
Maybe he means “commit”.
“I am a male also inspired by men who have held greater ideals and have done much greater things than any of us who are living today”
He wants to have sex with dead guys?
Bizarrely Agressively Delusional!
Warriors,come out and plaaa-ayyy!
WARRIORS, COME OUT AND PLAYYY-AAYY!
You really know how to sweet-talk the ladies.
That’s what your mom said.
Uh, am I the only smark in the room?
Smark,smark,smark said the hairlip dog.
A Bastion of Might
Awaits his call – WARRIOR!
Come out and play-ayyyy!
DAMN you snort!!!!
Jimmy Bloody Rose
Did anybody else immediately picture a torn, bleeding asshole here?
Just me? OK.
Can you smell what the Warrior is smokin’?
Okay, I’ll bite: Pole?
Oops, I misread “smell” as “tell”. Mah bad.
WARRIORS, COME OUT AND PLAYYY-AAYY!
He’s dumb enough to party with the Lizzies.
“I would be happy to commission another Original”
I think he is admitting that he outsources his own product. Probably to children in the Mariannas.
children in the Mariannas.
Yay, American made!
SPS.
Small penis syndrome. Probably going way back before he became a bodybuilder. Then the ‘roids were injected, and…
Speaking of sweatshops in American territory in the Pacific, I recently bought this Thomas Frank book for a buddy for Xmas:
http://www.amazon.com/Wrecking-Crew-How-Conservatives-Rule/dp/0805079882
Before I wrapped it, I read the chapter on Saipan. My gawd, if you ever had suspicions that far right “libertarians” were just one notch away from being slavers, check out that chapter. Also, before they even started their “laboratory of liberty” (said with one hand in pocket moving up and down suspiciously), they did the same damned thing in a bantustan in South Africa. Massive deregulation, exploitation, free for all (for capital, not workers), etc etc. Truly creepy assholes.
It’s even creepier how these folks do all sorts of vile shit to their fellow man (and only planet), then step up on a soapbox and bellow, FREEDOM! and pat themselves on the back. (And then whisper “laboratory of liberty” while moving one hand up and down in their pocket suspiciously. Or, if you’re wearing Zubaz pants with no undies, they can just fondle from the outside.)
Ack! I mean, if THEY’RE wearing Zubaz pants. I didn’t want to give you visions of being fondled by these assholes, when YOU are wearing Zubaz pants.
In related news (soft, thin, pants/ rubbing), wikip. says that this wrestler met his first wife in a strip club in Texas.
Or, if you’re wearing Zubaz pants with no undies, they can just fondle from the outside.)
I did not need that mental image. I leave you with this.
I did not need that mental image. I leave you with this.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
T&U, for you, a palate cleanser
Hence, “And decided the Daleks were the heroes.”
I think a hell of a lot of conservatives would be going back in time to entertain themselves in an era when treating women like property was neither illegal nor frowned upon.
Can’t speak for the grandma-boinking, though.
T&U, for you, a palate cleanser
That helped. A little.
Creepy, but not unexpected. After all, it took over a thousand years for the Christian establishment to realize that “Antisemitism for Jesus” was a contradiction in terms. “Exploitation for Freedom” simply follows this old and noble tradition.
Do I have the SHEER FORCE OF WILL to be awesome?
I will not reach the 7th Level of Awesomenicity until I find my JAzzy Copilot.
The gigantoid super-ginormous humungaceous titanically big fat irony is, this clown screams at the world how much “self-knowledge” he has, and exhorts his minions to know themselves…and, uh, he’s a walking case history of self-ignorance, obliviousness, repression, fantastical acting-out, and pyscho-fuckedupitude it would take two years before the couch (three times a week) to reveal and start to deal with.
Especially if that’s really him in the photo. Make it three years.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
For some reason T&U would not be the first person I would expect an Ernest Tubb reference from.
stupid sells well in America
And that’s a good thing because otherwise lots of musicians might have to find real work. See Ernest Tubb.
Actually that’s a pretty good song and I’ve done it a few times meself.
For some reason T&U would not be the first person I would expect an Ernest Tubb reference from.
That wasn’t intentional, but now that you point it out, I wouldn’t expect it, either.
Well, to quote old Bobby Zimmerman ain’t that
“Just Like A Woman”
People…….actually bought them…
i personally am going to wait for his Warrior-inspired zubaz collection…
All the ones marked “sold”? I bought them. Guilty. I know good art when I see it. When I’m making serious benjamins off my Warrior Wisdom collection, you’ll all be sitting around with your thumbs up your asses wondering why you didn’t have the same foresight.
i personally am going to wait for his Warrior-inspired zubaz collection…
O Brave New Pants!
If they develop “Always Believe” Warrior zubaz diapers vs is SO getting some at the baby shower.
Bingo!
I am sorry to say that shortly after DOING AWESOME I had to head down to the clinic. AWESOME YOU WHORE.
A boy. Dudeskull Warrior Slayer.
Sub–LULZ
DKW–only the babydaddy gets to name Little Dudeskull. Wait a minute…
BEAT IT OUT, Substance.
What’s the over-under on this guy wearing frilly panties & a bra under his wrasslin’ duds?
Didn’t that drumming bullshit die a merciful death 15 years ago?
Sadly, no.
Like Teh Warrior, I too live by a very intense & unforgiving secret code: DRINK MOAR OVALTINE!
With his “Warrior B.A.D.” & his overpriced motivational doodles, RoidBoy can join the illustrious ranks of all those other modern-day Warrior Code lovers … you know, clean-cut wholesome role-models like Kamikaze pilots, the Waffen-SS, the Tonton Macoutes & the Khmer Rouge.
All that warrior hokum was dead in the water the day someone invented long-range artillery – & determinism hasn’t been looking too healthy since quantum mechanics schooled us on just how insanely random (& constantly influenced by observation) reality is, either.
Believing that smart & stupid are opposites is the kind of fuckup that conveniently lets the rest of the world know exactly which camp you inhabit. Now, Warrior-san, see if you can snatch this live hand-grenade out of my palm before I
run for coverclose my hand.O Brave New Pants!
That has such pantloads in it!
Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble,
When you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t stand to look in the mirror,
I get better lookin’ each day.
To know me is to love me,
I must be a hell of a man!
Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble,
But I’m doing the best that I can.
Okay … how the hell did we miss this part:
Um … so why is he asking these fine “warriors” to pay $100 for notecards specifically designed to motivate them?
The stupid is strong with these folks …
Oh, and memo to VS: The Mrs wants to know how to get some of that picture booby voodoo that you do so well (the kind that makes a woman’s boobs look bigger on camera than in real life).
🙂
O Brave New Pants!
That has such pantloads in it!
I’ll bet he breaks his staff quite often.
Firstly, tell her it really is voodoo. Then tell her, squish them together or let them squish together naturally and just take them at a certain angle. I swear it’s a freaking optical illusion.
And I promise I won’t discuss boobs again in this thread.
And I promise I won’t discuss boobs again in this thread.
Nothing to add on the Warrior, then?
Well, naturally, all wingnuts and weird wrestlers ARE boobs but are not counted as boobies.
Ultimate Warrior
Rages the moar he hears
From left-wing skeeves.
BELIEF ATTITUDE AND DISCIPLINE. Always Believe.
So what do you do once you’ve beaten all possibility of greatness out of yourself? Besides selling postcards on the internets, that is.
Gel-filled underwire bras are an effective way to have people never look at your face when speaking to you and would probably help with photo magic, too.
Or so I hear, anyway. FROM YOUR MOM.
Any good bra will do wonders, yup.
OK, starting…NOW!
My hairy chest usually breaks the mood, though.
I don’t know about the rest of you fruits, but that’s how I roll.
Beatitudes and discipline?
I don’t know about the rest of you fruits, but that’s how I roll.
If you were a real man, you’d wax your chest.
Beatitudes and discipline?
Bootitudes and dorsal planes?
If there’s no more titz discussion, time for us buttmen to step up.
If there’s no more titz discussion, time for us buttmen to step up.
Butts are in the last thread.
Butts are in the last thread.
I didn’t see ’em. Especially not the plaid skirt shots.
Yawp. Lessee, lotsa comments, may as well scroll to the bottom derp derp derp Oh fuck, it’s boobies. Again. Could we have some hawt buttseks for a change?
We’ve been waiting for you to bring the PENIS.
I bet he’d like to have greatness thrust upon him..
I think of any thread with fewer than 600 comments as a mere hatchling.
gel
HAWT.
The “OOPS” kind of buttsex.
Leave the schizophrenic artist alone D.A.
Schiz or meth? You deride.
“vs is having a boy said”
Right now? Does Mr. Slayer know what you’re doing?
“Rectal Foreign Bodies”
Worst. Band name. Evah
Well, I wasn’t athletic enough to get into real sports and I couldn’t act well enough to get into real acting so I became a pro wrestler. And now I find I’m not artistic enough to produce real art so I got the trifecta goin’.
“vs is having a boy”
Confirmed? Or just indigestion?
Was that R. Bubba d0Ød’s middle initial “F?”
I FELL on that lubed- up FOUR LOKO can!
“vs is having a boy said”
Presumably this is a new discovery (nevermind PupMax, he’s just jealous because he’s not having a boy), as you’ve previously referred to the mewling brat as “she” so: congratulations. Now you’ll have two ungrateful brats with PENISes around the house.
“Rectal Foreign Bodies”
Worst. Band name. Evah
No. That distinction goes to Dick Cheney’s Sponge Bath up-thread.
N_B, that’s why I was (somewhat )scarce todaY
Confirmed. All my dreams of cute girl stuff dashed. He’s healthy though, so yay.
“The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed”
Heh.
WC, thanks. Yup…outnumbered.
Looking at his art, now I know why he always shook the ropes when he wrestled.
He has St Vitus’ Dance.
So, when little Fearless Dragon Slayer grows up, are you going to encourage him to go by F. Dragon, or Fearless D.?
And (the question on everybody’s mind), will you reveal the vacuumslayer persona to him, so he can be embarrassed by all the boob talk once he discovers the Google?
But seriously, congratulations. I can’t wait to see little Fearless in a photomanip, ideally wearing some kind of kicky little hat.
ideally wearing some kind of kicky little hat.
…like a dudeskull.
Good news VS. Healthy is the main thing
Mr Warrior certainly has a different take on life’s rich tapestry. You best believe he barely makes a dollar.
BTW, that photo is not Warrior. Altho his real photo doesn’t look a whole lot better
Looks kinda like the local shlub who failed Gas Pumping 101 at the community college.
BlackBloc: don’t sweat it, I’m still a bit of a wrestling fan and if you were young enough, you can be forgiven for liking the Warrior…nobody outside of the business back then knew what a flaming asshat the guy was…though i do like what the late, great Curt Hennig is alleged to have said: “I just did in that bucket what Warrior does in the ring”
(for context, Hennig was hiding under the ring announce table throughout most of a WCW televised event and was supposed to make a run-in at a key moment in the show…because he had to be under the table for most of the show, he was given a bucket for any bathroom emergencies and a little while before his scheduled appearance he had to take a giant dump, the stench of which nearly sickened the announcers)
Wouldn’t that be Mistra Warrior, AK?
I want to know who the sap is that bought the one with “government” misspelled.
you can be forgiven for liking the Warrior
Except, you know, for the crappy wrestling…
vs is having a boy.
So the little Dustbusterslayer comes with an attachment.
*stumbles into thread late*
That there is Roid Rage Writ Large.
And: VS!
Nice. The healthy part especially.
Now time to do some boy art!*
*Have at it, you preverts.
NEW MATH: $250 thou a year = hard times!
(warning: epic rage trigger)
Poor buggers – they can only afford five thousand per annum for house cleaning!
*sob*
Thanks for the congrats and comments, everyone! It’s kinda making me excited about having a little dude around. I’m gonna dress him SO DAMN COOL. Kicky hats MAY be involved.
And, yes, I think I will have no choice but to make my art more boy-inclusive.
Close, tigris, it’s Livin’ for the City.
“Mistra Know It All” is more appropriate in one way but also miles to good for Mr. Ultimitely Futile
“And, yes, I think I will have no choice but to make my art more boy-inclusive.”
Applause! Applause!
You best believe he barely makes a dollar.
A Stevie Wonder reference from a flightless bird. Well done!
I think a hell of a lot of conservatives would be going back in time to entertain themselves in an era when treating women like property was neither illegal nor frowned upon.
Well, they could always join the Taliban, but they know in their heart of hearts that doughy, spoiled ex-frat boys wouldn’t last too long in the real deal.
Yay VS! Hope Mom and son (sound weird?) are happy healthy kidlets.
Bah! Slow fingers.
You know who else sold handmade postcards? Hitler! No, really, he did, when he was a starving watercolourist.
Warrior? The Ultimate Warrior? He died back in 91.
http://deadspin.com/5506969/dead-wrestler-of-the-week-the-ultimate-warrior
Or so they say….
Oh boy, here we go again. Makeup, tights, big muscles, sweaty guys. Bravado about ones “testosterone”, manly posturing, adoring teen males who think his cartoonish posturing is how a mans man should act in the real world. No talkn’ ’bout gurls, just us guys.
A movie theater doesn’t project as much as the Warrior does.
In my defense, I was 8 years old or so. And that was during the time he was a Face (he was friends with Hulk Hogan and everything!). The subtleties (hah!) of wrestling as an art form were beyond my limited understanding.
Heck, I’ll follow my own thought of train.
If he’s projecting what I think he’s projecting, maybe he could star in The Rode Warrior
Butch enough for ya, N__B?
663rdeth
Whew.
What our warrior needs is a van full of ammonium nitrate.
Warrior? The Ultimate Warrior? He died back in 91.
That was just his brain.
paleotectonics said,
January 5, 2011 at 20:13
That Warrior screed is straight out of Robert Bly.
No it isn’t. Robert Bly would have felt nothing but pity for this clown
Robert Bly used to do poetry readings wearing a kooky mask and get close up in the face of his audience. Not really too far removed from The Ultimate Warrior.
I’ve never watched professional wrestling, but I have a love/hate relationship with the industry…
I love it because women who like professional wrestling tend to dig me.
I hate it because women who like professional wrestling tend to dig me.
Butch enough for ya, N__B?
It’s a manly beast but, being electric it does not throb. I give it a C+, maybe a B-.
It’s a manly beast but, being electric it does not throb.
My manly, throbbing electric beast, let me show you it
S,N is loading slow for me. This is what you get for hiring union hamsters.
Are the hamsters too cold?
Because they should keep moving, & faster, if they don’t want to freeze to death.
MUSH, hammies, MUSH!!
WTF? Did WP barf up my hamsters in a union joke? That was some funny shit, WP. fuck you.
In my defense, I was 8 years old or so.
Well, alright. That unbeatable super wrestler who’s only redeeming quality was being really big and really hyperactive was designed to appeal to an 8-year-old’s mentality. Not unlike his current political stances.
From the Deadspin comment thread (dunesk):
“I’m more interested in the dead lesbian from whom he stole that fabulously teased hair.”
Eh? Did I miss some lesbian fashion shift somewhere along the line? WTF means this?
Dammit, I started to grow my hair out so’s I wouldn’t look so damned manly in my Roadcrafter. Guess I might as well make an appt with the “stylist.”
I hate it because women who like professional wrestling tend to dig me.
Warrior’s biggest match EVAR was at Wrestlemania VI, held here in loverly LEAFS SUCK on April Fool’s Day 1990. In the front row of the audience was Mary Tyler Moore.
Got off the boat. Found no mangoes, nor tigers. Not much to see at all, really.
Just a pervasive scent of armpit – with notes of durian and Aqua Velva.
Disappointing, more than anything, actually.
Jesus must not want me to post tonight. Yet, I defy him.
I just do not know that he has sold any of his “artwork” at all. I demand not only original, vault copies of all receipts, but also unannounced verification visits to the homes of all putative owners of this “artwork.”
Oh, and the Warrior dude clearly never heard of Don Juan Matus.
You should go with Chthulu. His chosen post, and die, first.
T&U, how’s your gimpitude? Haven’t heard much from you lately, not since you voted.
(You did remember to vote, right?)
I may be joining the ranks of the lame soon. Cellulitis on my elbow. May have to go stay overnight for an IV drip, dammit. Ugh. All from a simple fall on the ice a week ago.
Jesus must not want me to post tonight. Yet, I defy him.
Careful. That’s a good way to wind up sailing your ghostly ship all over the seven seas for all of eternity.
“January 6, 2011 at 4:17
You should go with Chthulu.”
Why? He looking for a girlfriend?
…and here’s a fascinating egomaniacal speciman, professor. The ‘warrior philosophy’ seems to be a sophomoric version of Nietsche, or perhaps Hegel, as interpreted by Cliff Notes, and exacerbated by long steroid use.
The solitary existence, basement habitat, grimy bathrobe, frequent applications of Jergen’s, and the diet of Cheetos, Ding-Dongs, and Mountain Dew…all these are classic elements of taxonomic classification.
Yet this one exhibits pretensions to artistic or creative skill. Look at this card, for example: Endless repetition of ‘Always Believe”, somewhat similar to a pretend writer typing the same sentence again over and over and over for hundreds of pages.
My recommendation? Hospitalization and further study at the Institute for the Hopelessly Self-Deluded.
Must-see Daily Show tonight, west coasters! Serious pickin’ on John McCain, to include a felt puppet.
No transmissions on the freq for nearly two hours. It’s gone dark. [jargon for radio silence] We’ll continue do spot monitoring. Have fun. Out.
Spam filter mania!
Also:
Also on Colbert tonight, a good spoof of Glenn Beck & Goldline.
Test
Bilo, do the drip. Don’t fuck with cellulitis. That’s kind of like my motto. One of them. Another is: “If you can’t hide it, decorate it”.
It’s a manly beast but, being electric it does not throb. I give it a C+, maybe a B-.
Ah, but someday it may do 150mph in utter silence. Manly in a stealthy kind of way.
This is better than the one with radiator covering on the sides, anyway: http://www.wired.com/autopia/2009/02/mission-motors/
Why won’t WP eat
memy posts?“Ah, but someday it may do 150mph in utter silence. Manly in a stealthy kind of way.”
Which means you can hit deer in the countryside that much harder?
Someday, in the year 2000, there will a big microwave radar emitter that makes mammals want to jump out of their skin, strapped to the front bumpers of Tesla sports cars. Or the horn will be one of those super-high-decible targeted sound weapons. You know, like the stuff we’ve been using to clear the streets in Iraq. Like Glenn Greenwald pointed out, the unit that deployed this technology, was shipped stateside soon before the 2006? 2008? election? I have a fuzzy memory on that one, that I wasn’t hearing a thing about that from any other source, and I remember being concerned that Glenny G wasn’t fully connecting the dots on how ominous that was. Been trying to find that column of his, can’t right now.
Between Q tips of pepper spray jammed under the eyelids of sit-in college girls, and the new infrasound/high volume sound/microwave weapons, I’m afraid civil disobedience and street protest are over. Not that many people been anything more than passive about the ongoing tragedy.
Speaking of the ongoing tragedy: Detroit. It’s gotten worse?
http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/11/aiyana-stanley-jones-detroit
Long and painful. I’m behind on my Mike Davis books, but I’ve heard it said that this is our future.
“Down here it’s just winners and losers and don’t get caught on the wrong side of that line.”
Bueller?
Bueller?
About to be expected from the man who raped Santa Claus.
Oh yes. You heard that correctly.
FYWP
Warrior raping Santa claus link: Here.
I’d hoped that wasn’t possible.
I’d hoped that wasn’t possible.
I’m on a classical poetry kick this morning, so let me answer that hope with Milton:
Me miserable! which way shall I fly
Infinite wrath and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;
And in the lowest deep a lower deep,
Still threat’ning to devour me, opens wide,
To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven.
First of all, FYWP for eating my comment about the hamsters in unions. It was funny, see, because people in unions are lazy and greedy. Get it? Isn’t that fucking hilarious?
Second, would like a little wingnut in your coffee?
Third, I am eating chocolate cheesecake for breffus and you can’t stop me.
Hammies in unions, especially so.
In utero hamsters are lazy beyond belief.
TELL me about it.
Jesus Christ. Does WP have a tapeworm?
Breaking news : CPAC has been taken over by the Muslim Brotherhood, thanks to the crafty Islamomaniac Grover Norquist.
CPAC has been taken over by the Muslim Brotherhood, thanks to the crafty Islamomaniac Grover Norquist.
I knew his beard was untrustworthy.
…thanks to the crafty Islamomaniac Grover Norquist.
Maybe he caught it from Jane Hamsher.
T&U, how’s your gimpitude? Haven’t heard much from you lately, not since you voted.
Thanks for asking!
And yes, I did vote. Two months ago.
Still a little limpy. I’m going to PT twice a week, where we’re working on building up my muscles again more than anything. (So, like, actual WORKOUTS UGH). I have most of my range of motion back–at least enough to function normally. My calf doesn’t feel quite as noodly anymore.
It’s stiff in the morning and sometimes the scar tissue from my incisions hurts, but that’s to be expected. I’m just glad to be up and walking again, and I’m planning on starting to walk to work next week (provided I can get my lazy ass out of bed on time).
Oh, also, I can *stand* in my reasonably tall (2″-3″) high heels, but I haven’t attempted walking anywhere except across my bedroom. I’m guessing it will be a few months before I can walk in them comfortably enough in them to wear them outside.
Christine O’D ran for office in the wrong country: http://gawker.com/5726365/romanias-government-has-a-witch-problem
I’m guessing it will be a few months before I can walk in them comfortably enough in them to wear them outside.
Just in time for strappy sandal season. Not to worry, you can keep wearing the high heels in the bedroom as much as you want. just don’t forget the webcam.
Pics (of white guys with dashikis over their Brooks Brothers suits) or it didn’t happen.
I’m jealous of women who are good at walking in heels. They always hurt my feet after about 5 minutes.
Confesstion Time: I’ve worn three inch heels on a pair of pumps before. It was pretty easy for me, but that might have something to do with my lack of hips. I did find balancing a bit more difficult when trying to swing my moneymaker as I sashayed.
Uh, totes heterosexually of course.
What, exactly, is your “moneymaker”?
I guess my epic laziness prevents me from being a regular heels-wearer. I can basically only justify wearing them if I can do it sitting (or lying) down.
They always hurt my feet after about 5 minutes.
Honestly, I’ve noticed that my feet look different (in other words, more normal) than they did when I was regularly wearing heels. My toes were starting to smush together.
But I also find heels a lot more comfortable than flats most of the time because I have flat feet and heels take a lot of pressure off my arches.
crafty Islamomaniac Grover Norquist
He must have been subverted by his Mooslim wife.
Besides, real Christians don’t drown babies in bathtubs. They let babies suffer a long life of poverty and squalor before they succumb to accumulated untreated medical conditions.
What, exactly, is your “moneymaker”?
My technical background and expertise with MS Excel. Not easy to shake those while wearing heels.
I can basically only justify wearing them if I can do it sitting (or lying) down.
Rarrr!
Incidentally, I’m also pretty sure that part of the reason I broke my ankle so epically is that I was wearing unsupportive shoes (flats–I have a friend who rides in heels and I tried once and nearly killed myself) and my feet are more prone to turning inward because they’re all weird and shit.
What, exactly, is your “moneymaker”?
My left foot. I put it in, I pull it out. I put it in and shake it all about.
That’s what it’s all about!
Also, T&U, you are tall… I am not. I love the height of heels. Yup, also jealous of tall women…
Ps–I fear we are giving DKW heart palpitations.
Thanks for this insight into female problems, vs and T&U. I was under the (apparent) delusion that heels were something that the male overlords thrust upon the women underlings. Glad to know otherwise.
Ladies, you can palpitate any part of me you want to.
Also, T&U, you are tall… I am not. I love the height of heels. Yup, also jealous of tall women…
That’s why my friend wears heels all the time. She’s actually not short, but she always wanted to be, well, as tall as me.
I’m at least 6 feet tall when I’m wearing my normal, everyday heels. I think it scares some dudes.
I was under the (apparent) delusion that heels were something that the male overlords thrust upon the women underlings.
Well, you know, it’s complicated. And I’m not sure how many women wear heels because they feel like they *have* to and how many wear them because they want to, or where that line is drawn, you know? I just know that I’m femme-y, I like being taller, and I like the way they make my legs look.
Ladies, you can palpitate any part of me you want to.
I’d rather have them palpate mine, but that’s just me.
Also, one of the joys of living in a college town is laughing at the 20-year-olds dressed like streetwalkers teetering around in 4 inch heels because all they wear normally are flip flops and Uggs.
No, I dig heels. I just don’t find them practical.
But, yeah, I love the feeling of being taller. I’m not short…but before I was very pregnant, I wore a pair of platform boots with 5-inch heels. A 6-foot-tall blonde walking into a joint tends to…attract attention. And for me, it’s not about feeling sexy (with boots). I love feeling POWERFUL.
I love feeling POWERFUL.
For a short while, in addition to the possibility of head-butting, you have the opportunity to belly-whop miscreants.
With Dudeskull helping, how can i miss?!!
Today I crapped my pants. Always Believe.
You know who stopped believing? HITLER!! Always Believe.
T&U: How was your ankle broken? You mentioned a scar; sounds nasty.
T&U: How was your ankle broken? You mentioned a scar; sounds nasty.
I was riding my bike (actually, I was pushing off to start riding my bike), and my chain slipped off, so my foot slipped off the pedal and hit the ground with quite a lot of force. I broke all three ankle bones (and then subsequently fell at home, fucking myself up even more) and had to have surgery.
Here are some sweet-ass pictures, if you’re interested.
Here are some sweet-ass pictures
HEY!
There’s not ONE ass, much less a sweet one!
Just one man’s opinion, but:
As a tall man, I don’t notice, anywhere near as much as women think, which woman is short or tall. Everything between 5’0″ and 5’9″ is “down there” from way up here. Nor have I ever thought a taller woman is more attractive than a shorter one, and I’ve not heard any men talk that way (non-fashion designer feygellahs.) Maybe men do it subconciously, though.
I just can’t get over the damage caused to feet. Oh, and I grew up in the 70’s and had to endure the finger-wagging kind of feminism about bad, bad men and how it was all going to change. And then a lot of things changed, thank goodness. Then a minor bunch of backsliding began, on issues like this, and it irketh me.
I think, when it all comes down to it, we’re free to do what we want to do. A lot of women wear bad-for-their-feet shoes but feel they’re not allowed not to, or that they’ll be cast out of their social circle of females, or won’t attract the attention of the kind of men, well, the kind they’re probably better off without. (I’m thinking corporate dickmeisters.) And yeah, your odds of getting/keeping/advancing in the corporate job are reduced. But having that kind of job is a choice, too. And it’s not all that clear cut.
Now, here are some pics of Western, constrained feet, and abodigidal feet:
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/05/07/vibram-five-fingers-shoes/
But why male models?
No one can tell me what to wear. I am oldish and I do what I want, and no one even notices, much less cares. I hate things that hurt my feet. I can’t give my best unless I got room to move. Clodhoppers R me.
I just can’t get over the damage caused to feet. Oh, and I grew up in the 70?s and had to endure the finger-wagging kind of feminism about bad, bad men and how it was all going to change. And then a lot of things changed, thank goodness. Then a minor bunch of backsliding began, on issues like this, and it irketh me.
Oh, sure. I wear them with full awareness of their history and their place in our culture, and the fact that they’re a requirement for some women who wouldn’t normally want to wear them.
It’s just that I *like* them, and I decided a couple of years ago to be done with the whole, “Do I like them because I’m indoctrinated by the patriarchy?” thing–it’s the same thing with makeup and shaving and a whole variety of issues involved with liking the things that I like and being a feminist. It was causing me more grief than it was worth. If I eventually change my mind eventually about these things, it’s fine, but for now I’m going to wear what the fuck I want to wear and do what the fuck I want to do.
T&U: Looks like a nasty and painful injury. When did this happen? I assume the solid white lines in the x-ray are pins. I imagine this has been a long recovery with physical therapy. (I’m curious because I broke an ankle in a tumble down a staircase. It was a clean ankle injury–nothing remotely comparable to yours–but it was first broken bone; it is vivid to me.) In solidarity, here’s an imaginary electronic Anklestrong bracelet.
All the wimmin: I had only a murky awareness of the whole ‘high-heel issue’. I learned something in your comments.
Bilo: As a tall man, I agree with your observations at 18:02. Height doesn’t matter much. Attraction is attractiion. (I happen to prefer short women as partners. Lighter. Also position possibilites.) As for foot damage, well, I think T&U’s comment at 18:34 trumps it.
Slayer: Women in boots do it for me! (I wore them too, for about six years. Brown square-toes with side-straps and rings.
All: I’m busy today. Gotta run. Have fun.
Nobody’s reading this anymore but I’ll say this anyway: back in the long-ago past I worked in a shoe store. Not just any store, but my dad’ store, where he sold good-for-your-feet old lady shoes. I cannot tell you how many women came in with terrible bunions thanks to the pointy-toed heeled shoes they wore for years.
These days you can buy shoes with heels that don’t cram your feet down into the toes and support your arches; you don’t have to wear flats or old lady shoes. T&U, you can get very good insoles (think Superfeet) that will make almost any shoes comfortable.
Take care of your feet, they’re your foundation for the rest of your body.
T&U: Looks like a nasty and painful injury. When did this happen? I assume the solid white lines in the x-ray are pins.
August 28. I was completely non-weight bearing for a little over two months. It sucked.
Aside: am I the only one to think that if we do invent time machines, like all technology it’s going to end up mostly being about PENIS? Like, time travel sexual tourism, weirdo fetishists whose fantasies is to boink their own grandma, this sort of things?
Oh Renaissance girls are hip, I really dig those styles they wear,
And Neanderthal girls with the way they grunt, they knock me out when I’m back there.
The Babylonian farmers daughters really make you feel alright
And the ice age girls with the way they kiss, keep their cavemen warm at night
I wish they all could be ancient Roman, I wish they all could be ancient Roman, I wish they all could be ancient Roman girls!
Interesting getting the dudely perspective on wimmin and shoes. Thanks, guys.
(I happen to prefer short women as partners. Lighter. Also position possibilites.)
You can crush the tall ones down like a trash compactor for the same effect.
At least that’s how I handle that. Plus, you know, standing up sex is a whole lot easier on my hips and back
Oh Renaissance girls are hip, I really dig those styles they wear,
And Neanderthal girls with the way they grunt, they knock me out when I’m back there.
The Babylonian farmers daughters really make you feel alright
And the ice age girls with the way they kiss, keep their cavemen warm at night
I wish they all could be ancient Roman, I wish they all could be ancient Roman, I wish they all could be ancient Roman girls!
The Amalfi coast has the sunshine
And cankles get so tanned
I dig a French maid’s outfit on Fonta Nuova girls
By an olive tree in the sand.