… wondered whether Jonah had “wrestled a bear”

Totes heterosexually of course.

(After you see them in the clip below, I dare you to try to dislodge that image from your mind.)

I recommend a couple screwdrivers. Or, if that fails, an icepick.

Thank God those two never procreated. Whatever came out of it would be 95% bulbous forehead, 3% weak chin, and 2% whatever that stuff was in the jar in Prince of Darkness.

This XKCD seems relevant…

http://xkcd.com/796/

Also, why do they all sound the same? The “I are clever because I know words” over-pronunciation, the Kermit the Frog-with-adenoids vocal tone, the high-pitched nervous tittering. They sounded like this when I went to college too.

It’s like how all American airline pilots sound like Chuck Yeager — is there some specific role model these wonders of nature are drawing from?

and Jonah, buy some friggin shirts that FIT, Yes, you have to go to the “big and Tall” section. Suck it up big guy…

That personal ad is a fucking goldmine of LULZ.

2. If you (a) do not want children or (b) are willing to accept the fact that I will never want children and that therefore if you do, you must be prepared to have only a non-permanent relationship with me, we may be able to build a romantic relationship (no, I do not want to adopt, part-time parent, co-parent, see kids on weekends, or indeed be around kids, whether genetically related or unrelated to me, in any imaginable capacity whatsoever, nor date a women who has kids secreted away somewhere who she promises will “rarely” interact with me).

Translation: He’s not allowed within 2,000 feet of a child, lest he be sent back to prison, where he’ll be passed around like a carton of Marlboros.

I can’t even watch. I know it’s going to be like Sideshow Bob trapped in a garden full of rakes.

Goldberg’s tiny hands stole the show.

.

These folks need to learn that verbosity + vocabulary =/= equal intelligence.

if you can’t stand their voices, watch with the sound off, especially watch her while he talks….

Dear God, but that Todd Seavey needs professional help. This isn’t even funny.

The last time S,N! took on Todd Seavey he came over here and inadvertently admitted to committing tax fraud… Sideshow Bob and a lawn full of rakes is about it.

I flipped past this the other night. I missed these fireworks but did hear Jonah haughtily dismissing Rawls. Some condescending shit about Rawls being brilliant but his philosophical work being a mere rationalization for liberalism. My summation is close to verbatim.

The Hitler Youth is apparently alive and well and not in Brazil.

Todd Sweaney, You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.

Todd Sweaney, You are in more dire need of a blowjob anal rape than any white man in history.

Fixed to more accurately represent fetish.

Attend the tale of Skeevey Todd
His skin was pale and his eye was odd
He tried to ape ways of gentlemen
And never thereafter was bedded again.

Taking the fun out of sex toys

Wow. From his personals ad:

“Are you the sort of person who says ‘yes’ when asked to do something with a fella, regardless of whether you actually want to go out, then simply keeps rescheduling instead of definitively and finally canceling the date or saying no?…

you are, I am afraid, a terrible, selfish fiend of a human being, and I really don’t want you as a friend, let alone a date or girlfriend. Yes, that’s right — you are evil. How does it feel — the evil, I mean? Bet you thought being a Hitler or a Jack the Ripper would feel a lot different than being you. But it doesn’t. You’re living the being-evil experience…

I don’t care if you’ve been declared by numerous glossy magazines to be the most beautiful woman not only of our era but of all time. I don’t care if your intellect is so vastly superior to my own that mere moments of conversation with you would fill me with awe and wonder. You are still, as noted above, an immoral, inconsiderate fiend…

It’s dealing with jerks like you that inspires serial killers and misanthropes, you know. Can you really blame them?”

Methinks Todd’s been strung a long a few times and is UNhappy about it.

No votar, los latinos estúpido

Methinks Todd’s been strung a long a few times and is UNhappy about it.

And methinks the women who strung him along were afraid of what would happen if they said no outright.

Methinks Todd’s been strung a long a few times and is UNhappy about it.

Given how he behaved with this chick on the panel, can you blame anyone?

Damn you, Scribe!

And methinks the women who strung him along were afraid of what would happen if they said no outright.

He probably also has asked out a lot of women who suddenly became lesbians and/or oddly enough, don’t own phones…

Jonah Goldberg’s accelerating decline towards indolence, sloth, dodgy personal hygiene and late night pizza and Pringles binges

Decline? That seems awfully complimentary, ever since Mom got him his jobs and the Los Angeles Times fired Robert Scheer.

These include one from a commenter who has apparently noticed, as have I, the decline of personal hygiene chez Goldberg and who wondered whether Jonah had “wrestled a bear” right before going on camera.

Tintin, it looks more like roseacea. Sadly, it’s not life threatening, like a bear wrestling partner would be.

whether Jonah had “wrestled a bear” Got ate by a bear and shit off a cliff right before going on camera

Fixt for more plausible scenario

Good Lord! (choke). Are Bozell genes interspersed amongst the panelists or is that the result of normal inbreeding?

Oooh, when you try to check the updates at the bottom of his personals ads about Helen, the links are dead.

How old is this guy, fucking 15?

Are Bozell genes interspersed amongst the panelists or is that the result of normal inbreeding?

That’s an insult to The Lawgiver and Orangutans everywhere.

Frankly, I’m shocked that his “defending article” (the last link Tintin posts) doesn’t mention “Sadly, No!” yet. I figured he’d have an alert set up for any time anyone on Teh Gazoogle mentions him.

How old is this guy, fucking 15?

Y’know, that’s like 80 in ostrich years.

Yet another story which took place in Colombia involving army support of right wing death squad narco-paramilitaries and which, had anything like it happened in Venezuela, would result in widespread calling in the US for an embargo and perhaps a bombing campaign.

Members of the army based in eastern Colombia protected and helped “Cuchillo,” one of Colombia’s most wanted paramilitary drug lords, a soldier told newscast Noticias Uno.

According to soldier John Quirama, his army unit used to receive money from Carlos Mario Jimenez, alias “Macaco,” to make sure the paramilitary chief’s drug-related activities in the Vichada department would not be hindered by the army. The payments continued after his demobilization in 2005.

But in May 2007 Cuchillo, who went underground after the demobilization of paramilitary organization AUC, outbid Macaco’s bribe. After that the army units backed Cuchillo, who was trying to take over Macaco’s drug business in the east, the soldier said.

A US-funded military for hire collaborates with drug-trafficking, civilian massacring warlord death squads, and it doesn’t even make the news.

And after all the US-subsidies for an anti-guerrilla war, Andean cocaine trafficking, according to the UN’s office against crime and drugs, to the US accounts for about $73 billion dollars, the vast majority of which comes from Colombia, and for which the State Department and the punditariat blames Venezuela.

You know, there’s really nothing more hilariously pathetic than a conservative man scorned.

Unless it results in a restraining order and/or murder.

Damn you Tintin, the quality of my work product this afternoon is DIRECTLY YOUR FAULT because after watching that, I need to drink very heavily.

I hope you’re happy.

…sheesh, what a table of assholes.

I do especially like the crowd shot early on.

Jonah’s one of those assholes who thinks manliness points lost by the inability to do certain things well–shit that conservatives love to pretend that Bill Buckley did better than Union guys, like changing a tire–can be made up by ostentatiously consuming steak, cigars and scotch. And since he can’t do anything well, he’s got a lot of overconsuming to do.

How old is this guy, fucking 15?

Yes, at least to part about being 15.

Y’know, that’s like 80 in ostrich years.

Tiny Diet Coke spittake!

Thirty Helens agree that this guy is a d-bag.

you are, I am afraid, a terrible, selfish fiend of a human being, and I really don’t want you as a friend, let alone a date or girlfriend. Yes, that’s right — you are evil. How does it feel — the evil, I mean?

What?

This is from a personals ad?

Is this guy related to Bob Owens?

Oooh, when you try to check the updates at the bottom of his personals ads about Helen, the links are dead.

Just a database fuck-up I think. For example:

http://www.toddseavey.com/2008/11/feuding-political-couples.html

This is from a personals ad?

A conservative personals ad.

Apparently, you don’t spend a lot of time on Hannidate, do you?

Is this guy related to Bob Owens?

Same father, different emu.

Boo hoo!

http://www.toddseavey.com/2009/09/helen-rittelmeyer-postscript.html

From Seavey’s morning after post, a threat:

The only manifestation of her philosophy that I revealed in my comments that was not already publicly known was her willingness to engage in cruel personal gamesmanship, as for instance by playing matchmaker for a couple, planning in advance to break them up later by seducing the male, in part to raise and dash the hopes of the female (an accusation that she did not deny in her later comments to Daily Caller, tellingly). That action of hers is horrible enough by any conventional moral standard, including Catholicism, but Helen, if she’s reading this, knows there are countless other examples I could give of the way in which her dark thinking is paralleled by dark behavior. I don’t want or intend to say any more about such examples, though, even though I know I risk being thought by many to be merely griping about an ex for light and transient causes.

I don’t want or intend to show up in the comments over there or someplace else and leave nasty comments about the size of his junk or his sexual ineptitude under the name Helen so as to goad him into revealing more of what he knows about his fellow wingnut, though, even though I know I risk being thought by many to be too chicken to do so.

Just a database fuck-up I think. For example:

I hate to inform our friend here, but just having glasses does not make one a “Hot Librarian Type.”

A conservative personals ad.

Dude’s practically a fucking catch. Just, you know, don’t stand him up, or he’ll make stew out of your dog and feed it to your adorable nephew.

“Got ate by a bear and shit off a cliff right before going on camera”

I believe I am going to be laughing all day over that one. Poor bear.

Speaking of Jonah, he can finally stop pretending he’s walking his dog. All thanks to everyone’s favorite “Pants on the Ground 2K10.”

Same father, different emu.

Actor, you have to stop doing that while I’m drinking.

Nobody self punks conservatives better than Todd Seavey.

I thank the non-gods that I had the presence of mind to never air via the intertrons any of the nasty grievance I had in prior relationships.

I also thank my previous girlfriends for at most mentioning me by vague generalization versus any sort of named gossip.

Somehow we were better informed as to proper decent behavior than nutbag rightists.

Actor, you have to stop doing that while I’m drinking.

Only if you share.

Only if you share.

*passes flask of desk gin*

I hate to inform our friend here, but just having glasses does not make one a “Hot Librarian Type.”

Her Martian forehead’s a bit off-putting.

*passes flask of desk gin*

*sips*

You can’t fool me! This is copier toner!

*gulps*

*passes flask of desk gin*

*sips*

You can’t con me…this is copier toner!

*gulps*

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I believe I am going to be laughing all day over that one. Poor bear.

Me too. Golf clap!

Public service announcement: I early-voted today! If you can, I recommend it highly!

Make sure to vote for the right lizard or the wrong lizard might get in.

I early-voted today! If you can, I recommend it highly!

Don’t forget to vote often, too!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I thought maybe that was on purpose to indicate how many brain cells the copier toner had killed.

Our copier toner is actually powder. I guess you could snort it…

Don’t forget to vote often, too!

Of course – that’s why early voting is so important.

RIP Walt Kelly

I thought maybe that was on purpose to indicate how many brain cells the copier toner had killed.

No. S,N! management has a filter on the word “f00l”. I keep forgetting that

Best comment on Youtube:

I saw “TODD STILL LOVES HELEN” carved on the desk

Maybe they’ve got a filter on the word “actor”.

No. S,N! management has a filter on the word “f00l”. I keep forgetting that

Ah. Weird.

Have we talked about this yet? I don’t remember.

Maybe they’ve got a filter on the word “actor”.

Your absence was keenly noted as well.

T&U, sort of. At the bottom of the last thread, it came up.

just having glasses does not make one a “Hot Librarian Type.”

Now i have a sad.

The two of them twist their mouths rather similarly, and there isn’t any combination of features there that could make an attractive kid, at least not on this planet. They nearly make Jonah look good, and he appears to have stowed all his clothes in a hamper and combed his hair with a broom.

Todd has a distinct resemblance to Confederate Yankmee; both of them look like their skull has gone on strike and is endeavoring to pop itself out of their foreheads.

T&U, sort of. At the bottom of the last thread, it came up.

I’m not even sure why people are surprised, actually.

“I discovered this gem while trolling Ace’s House of Play-Doh and Bacon looking for blogging material.”

AHEM!

They nearly make Jonah look good

Oh, thank god. I thought that too, but was terrified that I had been poisoned or something.

Gee willikers, is this the crème de la crème of young right wing intellectuals?

What a pack of dipshits:

Todd Seavey – Looks like a hammerhead shark and has the creepy and persnickety manner one associates with people who wipe their asses with Q-Tips. He’s Frazier Crane without the warm wit and self-deprecating charm that diffuses his HUGE corncob-up-his-ass haughty whiteboy douchebag schtick.

Helen Rittelmeyer – With all due respect to my feminist sisters out there–plus I honestly HATE to use this term–but this gal is a total cunt. UGH. Why the fuck would any self-respecting and enlightened liberal WANT to engage in ANY kind of banter with this horrible human being and massive pile of malodorous shit?

Jonah Goldberg – His slimy, filthy, slovenly, lazy, and unctuous appearance perfectly matches his filthy, slovenly, lazy, and unctuous intellect. How this fat fucking moron gets paid writing gigs is an insult to all professional writers and public intellectuals worldwide.

Carry on…

The missing link in the Seavey-Owens family tree

Gee willikers, is this the crème de la crème of young right wing intellectuals?

Yup. SASQ

To echo someone else here HOW ARE WE LOSING TO THESE IDIOTS??????

The missing link in the Seavey-Owens family tree

Well, at least you drank all the desk gin.

Well, at least you drank all the desk gin.

I’m all for not dropping a waste.

*hic*

They nearly make Jonah look good

Srsly d00d looks like Eisenhower if they ran him through the Photoshop “pinch” filter.

Thanks, T&U, if we discussed that I must’ve missed it –

O’Donnell actually had no idea such a thing [the establishment clause] was in the Constitution. Isn’t that one of the manuals you have to read before you can apply for this job?

Well, in general, yes, but especially if you’re part of a group whose entire campaign is about “strict interpretation of the Constitution,” “getting back to the way we were,” “Founder intent” and all that.

Seriously, I get how the blatant cognitive dissonance doesn’t matter to the party faithful, but how the fuck do they get so many regular people to actually believe this shit? Is it as simple as “no one’s read the Constitution and they just assume it’s all about Jesus and killing gays”?

“To echo someone else here HOW ARE WE LOSING TO THESE IDIOTS??????”

‘Cuz we’re extremists apparently.

Well, in general, yes, but especially if you’re part of a group whose entire campaign is about “strict interpretation of the Constitution,” “getting back to the way we were,” “Founder intent” and all that.

My favorite trope, and where O’Donnell got mixed up probably, is that the Constitution doesn’t specifically use the words “separation”, “church”, and “state” in the First Amendment, a point fundies raise constantly.

No. It doesn’t and while Jefferson does go into great detail about why not only should the government not establish a state church, the church should stay out of governance, fundies somehow construe this clause to mean that it’s OK for the church to dictate state policy.

Which is pretty circular reasoning, but that you knew already.

I’m rather boggled that these people will end up in leadership positions within 5 years.

They call themselves punks, but they look like debate club semifinalists. They wouldn’t know rebellion if it hit them on the head. They have no concept of their responsibility to their own future, let alone anyone else’s, they congratulate themselves for having a highly intellectualized spat on CSPAN…

…And in 10 years they’ll be engineering the next bankster bailout.

These kids are the people in DC who really scare me.

From the Wonkette link about Witch-tine:

…adding that it raised questions about O’Donnell’s grasp of the Constitution

Shut up. It did no such thing. For shame, grasping the Constitution like that can make you go blind or grow hair on your palms and we all know Witch-tine’s position on that.

For shame, grasping the Constitution like that can make you go blind

Is that why your mom has a chauffeur now?

my favorite new game: mute & pause that vid and just scrub back and forth through it.

I’m calling this episode Jonah and the 3 Gingers.

What the Constitution, four midgets, a goat and DKW’s mom and I do in the privacy of the Burger King parking lot is none of your goddamn business.

Their spawn would look like something the Clampett unit at Warner would have turned out. Maybe with a pinch of pinch filter added.

Among today’s TeaTard conservatives, knowing too much of the actual text of the Constitution and the arguments of its drafters and signers is a bad thing.

Understanding the Constitution by faith and by the Word of those such as Glenn Beck and various paranoid militia types is the accepted way.

my favorite new game: mute & pause that vid and just scrub back and forth through it.

Hell, that was the only way I could watch it. After years of listening to their ilk, I can only get out of the boat in full scuba gear.

The result is an oddly compelling piece of film noir documenting a lover’s quarrel between two dorks. If Douglas Sirk Mia Farrow and Diane Arbus Joyce Maynard ever made a film together, it would look like this:

Fixed for more abject pathos.

…is none of your goddamn business.

Without your pay-per-view receipt or ticket from the… uh wait. I mean YOUR MOM’S THE WHORE!

“Helen’s ostensibly Catholic-conservative philosophy is actually an ironically-veiled, far darker philosophy, a sort of Nietzschean valorization of cruelty for the sake of cruelty that even Nietzsche would not endorse.”

She’s got that alabaster white ginger-kid skin, that weird trisomic face, a deviant heartlessness fueled by the Pope, and she’s got a nice rack?

HOT.

If only she were Irish.

my favorite new game: mute & pause that vid and just scrub back and forth through it.

Actually, the moment Beeblebrox realizes what he’s doing is some damn fine filmmaking. You only see her shadow, but I swear you can see her facial expression, followed by a head====>desk moment.

My favorite trope, and where O’Donnell got mixed up probably, is that the Constitution doesn’t specifically use the words “separation”, “church”, and “state” in the First Amendment, a point fundies raise constantly.

Oh yes. Of course, the phrase “separation of powers,” for instance, doesn’t appear in the Constitution either, despite the fact that the whole document is an ode to the concept –

Say, does “limited government” appear in the Constitution? No? How about “secession?” Not that either? How about “Jesus,” or “Christianity?” Really? Well, color me liberal.

Among today’s TeaTard conservatives, knowing too much of the actual text of the Constitution and the arguments of its drafters and signers is a bad thing.

Understanding the Constitution by faith and by the Word of those such as Glenn Beck and various paranoid militia types is the accepted way.

Ah, yes.

Much like the Bible, you might say.

You know what else isn’t in the Constitution?

Necco Wafers. It’s true.

Know who else separated Church and State?

Sorry, ts;cw (too squicky, couldn’t watch).

OT:

Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come & join the Tea Stasi Party!

Also and too, that man’s face would be cute on a pekinese, but not so much on a human.

Also not in the Constitution,
Power from fossil fuel combustion.

Wow. Gives TMI a whole new level of hellishness. Has anyone actually gone out and read Ms. Ritalynmeyer’s works to confirm whether or not she’s a full-throated* embracer of human suffering as Mr. Skeevy indicates? Because if that’s true, they’re both candidates for the B-Ark and ASAP.

*VBJR

Alaska Republican Senate nominee Joe Miller was asked about illegal immigration at his town hall yesterday, and he said that the country’s first priority should be to secure the border. “If East Germany could, we could,” he said.

Because, you know, people were dying to get into a totalitarian state…

Has anyone actually gone out and read Ms. Ritalynmeyer’s works to confirm whether or not she’s a full-throated* embracer of human suffering as Mr. Skeevy indicates?

I hear she spits.

Speaking of Wonkett, does anyone else here comment over there ever? I’ve noticed commenters over there mentioning teh Sadly on occasion.

I hear she spits.

If you were dating Todd, you would spit as well.

If you were dating Todd, you would spit as well.

I would vomit.

Alaska Republican Senate nominee Joe Miller was asked about illegal immigration at his town hall yesterday, and he said that the country’s first priority should be to secure the border. “If East Germany could, we could,” he said.

Hey, he’s already following the Stasi model of dealing with pesky reporters.

Speaking of Wonkett, does anyone else here comment over there ever?

I used to, but Websense blocks me now with the new-fangled system they have there.

I would vomit.

I don’t think he’s long enough to evoke a gag ref–

Oh.

I don’t think he’s long enough to evoke a gag ref–

His face is enough alone, actually.

His face is enough alone, actually.

If I had a face like that, I’d wear a burqa

Speaking of Wonkette commenters…there are some gooders here. David. Fucking. Shitter.

“Now, obviously, other things there were involved. We have the capacity to, as a great nation, obviously to secure our border. If East Germany could, we could.”

I tells ya, they want a big frickin’ concrete wall with land mines. Ain’t gonna be happy until they get it.

If you were dating Todd, you would spit as well.

…before I ever got near his schlong. Even though I don’t swing that way. Totes het, dontchaknow. But even if I did, the only thing I’d swing around him is a baseball bat.

Also not mentioned in the Constitution: capitalism, communism, socialism, free market, etc.

That kinda leaves it up to us, don’t it?

I lasted 31 seconds. The pimply blond who “went to Yale” and found it easy to argue with liberals …. ug. stupid and ugly.

I tells ya, they want a big frickin’ concrete wall with land mines. Ain’t gonna be happy until they get it.

When (not if) they get the wall with land mines, they will want to add guard towers with shoot-to-kill orders. When they start seeing dead brown kids, then and only then will they be happy.

Speaking of Wonkett, does anyone else here comment over there ever? I’ve noticed commenters over there mentioning teh Sadly on occasion.

I used to years ago, but then they changed it to a “You had to have been a member here for X years, blew a Wonkette admin and/or are all about the butt fucking” registration system.

Turns out I hadn’t been registered there long enough … and I’m not into mansechs. So no commenting by me.

Maybe if I had a few more etchings …

When they start seeing dead brown kids, then and only then will they be happy.

Depends on how many.

Also not mentioned in the Constitution: capitalism, communism, socialism, free market, etc.

Or clowns, capes, cannabis, calla lillies, cavities…

“K” sounds are funny!

Oh, holy fuck. It starts to make sense now.

If you were wondering why, oh why the banks fucked up the trail of ownership on millions of mortgages, wonder no more. It hadn’t actually occurred to me, but then I suppose I just don’t think big enough sometimes.

Why is there a rigorous chain of ownership in the first place? To make sure that somebody, and only one somebody truly owns an expensive asset. So that nobody van go around “selling the Brooklyn Bridge” time and again.

Right?

Oops.

So, I’m thinking that the forgery and even the “lost” paperwork aren’t the meat of the problem. It was bad enough when all the MBSs were worth crap because the mortgages were going toes up. How about when we find out that they’re not even really backed at all, and the whole damned thing was a sham from the start?

I guess the banksters figured that because mortgages are long term, nobody would figure it out for a couple of decades. Cliffotines for the lot of them. Fuck.

Of course, odds are that the motherfuckers that committed the fraud have CDS side bets on the whole thing goes tits up and they’ll make out like banditos again.

I used to years ago, but then they changed it to a “You had to have been a member here for X years, blew a Wonkette admin and/or are all about the butt fucking” registration system.

I’m irritated that my Gawker account works everywhere else except there.

I used to years ago, but then they changed it to a “You had to have been a member here for X years, blew a Wonkette admin and/or are all about the butt fucking” registration system.

Turns out I hadn’t been registered there long enough … and I’m not into mansechs. So no commenting by me.

I didn’t have to give head!

I just volunteered…

Speaking of Wonkette commenters…there are some gooders here.

Many lulz there.

Of course, I got to the bottom and had to click over to Bristol Palin in a gorilla costume. *shudder*

Uh oh. Pimply blond went to Old ELItist? I’m not getting out of the boat. Thunder? Did you know this thing?

So, I’m thinking that the forgery and even the “lost” paperwork aren’t the meat of the problem. It was bad enough when all the MBSs were worth crap because the mortgages were going toes up. How about when we find out that they’re not even really backed at all, and the whole damned thing was a sham from the start?

I thought that came out from the very beginning, that the mortgages were sometimes packaged in overlapping but different instruments so that a bank would get two cash flows in for one mortgage?

I tells ya, they want a big frickin’ concrete wall with land mines. Ain’t gonna be happy until they get it.

Nothing says confident superpower nation like building a big fucking wall and hiding behind it as cowards from every brown-skinned denizen that walks by.

Why is there a rigorous chain of ownership in the first place? To make sure that somebody, and only one somebody truly owns an expensive asset. So that nobody van go around “selling the Brooklyn Bridge” time and again.

I once screwed up with a credit card. Not big money, maybe a hundred bucks. The bank sold that debt to at least six collectors, four of whom I had to settle with. Two of the four had issued warrants against me for failure to pay a lawful debt.

That experience is gonna repeat itself over and over on a much bigger scale. This will end very, very badly.

So, I’m thinking that the forgery and even the “lost” paperwork aren’t the meat of the problem. It was bad enough when all the MBSs were worth crap because the mortgages were going toes up. How about when we find out that they’re not even really backed at all, and the whole damned thing was a sham from the start?

I thought that came out from the very beginning, that the mortgages were sometimes packaged in overlapping but different instruments so that a bank would get two cash flows in for one mortgage?

No shit. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.

a sort of Nietzschean valorization of cruelty for the sake of cruelty

How did this douche manage to misread The Genealogy of Morals so comprehensively? From where did he get such a bizarre distortion of Nietzsche’s views on cruelty?
Rhetorical answer to rhetorical questions: From out of his butt.

No shit. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.

This is why liberals can’t have nice things.

I could so go for that Helen gal. She’s got that She-Wolf of the SS thing going (or is it WW — wingnut welfare). A glass of absinthe, a DVD of Saw IV to set the mood ….

a DVD of Saw IV to set the mood ….

Can I sell you some etchings? They’re cheaper and about as grotesque.

Etchings? On human skin?

No shit. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.

This is why liberals can’t have nice things.

It’s true. I’m far too nice to be rich.

Etchings? On human skin?

That’ll cost extra.

Etchings? On human skin?

That’ll cost extra.

Just make sure to specify that the skin is not to be attached to an actual human, please. Any more obscene tattoos and I’ll be fired.

I could so go for that Helen gal.

I dated a Republican once. It is always a mistake. It is only a matter of time until you are out with friends, and they start talking about how their tax dollars should not go to support people with inferior lifestyles. There’s no way you will leave that conversation with your dignity or morals intact.

Friends don’t let friends date Republicans.

Friends don’t let friends date Republicans.

How about one-night stands?

She mentioned Yale right off the bat. Something like “I used to argue with liberals when I was at Yale -I went there- and it was like throwing rocks… and their answers weren’t interesting or-”

and there I muted it. So she didn’t claim to have been a student at Yale.

I think they’re all trying to imitate Buckley’s manner of speech. Ug.

the word “f00l”

NOT A “WORD.”

It is only a matter of time until you are out with friends, and they start talking about how their tax dollars should not go to support people with inferior lifestyles. There’s no way you will leave that conversation with your dignity or morals intact.

It is at times like this I recall the immortal words my mother used to tell me

“It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full”.

So I ballgag her.

the word “f00l”

NOT A “WORD.”

Yes, but I had to get around the filter and you got it anyway.

It is at times like this I recall the immortal words my mother used to tell me

“It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full”.

So I ballgag her.

Where’s DKW?!??!?!?

Where’s DKW?!??!?!?

You weren’t supposed to notice. Toujours la politesse.

How about one-night stands?

Keep in mind the separation from reality necessary to maintain the wingnut worldview, and ask yourself if you are prepared to deal with that level of potential psychosis.

I really want to add sub-titles to this video.

Headline on MSN.com:

O’Donnell questions separation of church, state

Key-rist, like she’s bringing up some arcane well-thought-out argument about it instead of just being a dumb-ass who had no idea what the Bill of Rights says, never mind the Constitution.

I’m irritated that my Gawker account works everywhere else except there.

Gawker sold Wonkette in 2008, so that’s why.

Keep in mind the separation from reality necessary to maintain the wingnut worldview, and ask yourself if you are prepared to deal with that level of potential psychosis.

Until 5:30 in the morning? Let me think it over.

I always mention Yale right off the bat when I’m on C-span, except in my case its Fresno State.

Friends don’t let friends date Republicans.

How about one-night stands?

Yuck, no. I’m pretty sure conservatism is an STD.

Keep in mind the separation from reality necessary to maintain the wingnut worldview, and ask yourself if you are prepared to deal with that level of potential psychosis.

The fun is when they swing from prude to wanton. The trick is to clear out of her apartment before the pendulum swings back and she starts throwing things or trying to get you to church.

Although, I don’t know, I might hate fuck a hot male conservative. I’d need to upgrade my strap-on first, though.

Frickin’ Joe Wilson.

Now doubting he was dodging mortar rounds is INSULTING TEH TROOPS OMFG!11

I can haz end of election cycle now plz? No can standz moar.

Until 5:30 in the morning? Let me think it over.

I like the cut of your jib, so I’m going to give you a Protip:

There’s always an earlier flight. It doesn’t matter what time you wake up OR even that you’re going to walk home. The airport’s open and you need to make a plane.

Yuck, no. I’m pretty sure conservatism is an STD.

Oh, I forgot about the contagion factor. Which is what I should never, never do!

Thanks for the reminder, T&U.

… and that giant shadow-head behind Skeevy, nodding and bobbing and looking right at him, and then looking away! It’s PRICELESS/

Although, I don’t know, I might hate fuck a hot male conservative. I’d need to upgrade my strap-on first, though.

*waterspit*

I might hate fuck a hot male conservative.

Oh yeah, Tucker Carlson. Muss up that Bundy hairdo and set that bowtie a-spinning. Fap, etc.

Oh yeah, Tucker Carlson. Muss up that Bundy hairdo and set that bowtie a-spinning. Fap, etc.

Much like the Park51 project, that “fap” is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too close to Ground Zero….

Although, I don’t know, I might hate fuck a hot male conservative. I’d need to upgrade my strap-on first, though.

*waterspit*

Is 12 inches too small?

Although, I don’t know, I might hate fuck a hot male conservative. I’d need to upgrade my strap-on first, though.

It seems I’m available. DKW’s mom said I was hot.

I’d need to upgrade my strap-on first, though.

This is the weed-whacker attachment, right?

Is 12 inches too small?

*measuring my forearm*

No.

You did mean “around” right?

“The fun is when they swing from prude to wanton.”

When she screams “Oh God, oh God!” she’s really begging for forgiveness.

This is the weed-whacker attachment, right?

Of course! With optional jackhammer.

I’m pretty sure conservatism is an STD.

There must be some other mechanism for contagion. Just look at those guys!

…maybe reading an unwashed library copy of Atlas Shrugged?

This is the weed-whacker attachment, right?

Of course! With optional jackhammer.

*shudder*

Conservatives have all the fun….*pout*

You did mean “around” right?

Yes. I didn’t buy this industrial-sized pump bottle of lube for nothing, you know.

One of my ex-g/f’s from college later turned full-throated wingnut…

Wait for it…

…and now works at the DMV. Cognitive dissonance, it’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Yes. I didn’t buy this industrial-sized pump bottle of lube for nothing, you know.
“Here’s something to loosen you up. No, not its contents, just the bottle.”

Fucking Republicans. How does that work?

Home to the classic line:

Mind you, I will defend I Fucked Ann Coulter In The Ass

Yes. I didn’t buy this industrial-sized pump bottle of lube for nothing, you know.

Lube: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

“Reading Rand: Discovering the Right to Fail.”

This guy looks like he knows all about the right to fail.

Lube: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

You must be awfully regular.

You must be awfully regular.

You can set your watch.

Previous thread:
justme said,
October 19, 2010 at 19:16

Is being an ignorant fuckwad actually a prerequisite to running for office for these twits?

You may have missed this update:

UPDATE O’Donnell’s campaign manager Matt Moran issued a statement today regarding her misunderstanding of the First Amendment. O’Donnell “was not questioning” separation “as subsequently established by the courts,” Moran said, but was pointing out that “the phrase appears nowhere in the Constitution.” “It was in fact Chris Coons who demonstrated his Constitutional ignorance when he could not name the five freedoms contained in the First Amendment,” he added.

The guy’s name, & “five freedoms” in the First Amendment? What the fuck-tuck-tucking hell?

Also, is the Moran C.O’D.’s Xian-rocker boyfriend w/ whom she allegedly has loud sex? (Per neighbors, look it up.)

One of the examples always quoted by wingnuts of how the feds can never do anything right is the DMV.

Which is always a state, not federal, function. And is typically underfunded in the balanced-budget fashion they approve of.

“It was in fact Chris Coons who demonstrated his Constitutional ignorance when he could not name the five freedoms contained in the First Amendment,” he added.

Religion, speech, press, assembly and…Sneezy?

Also, is the Moran C.O’D.’s Xian-rocker boyfriend w/ whom she allegedly has loud sex? (Per neighbors, look it up.)

That was some guy named Brent

At least she wasn’t masturbating.

“It was in fact Chris Coons who demonstrated his Constitutional ignorance when he could not name the five freedoms contained in the First Amendment,” he added.

Religion, speech, press, assembly and…Sneezy the right be a doosh?

Petition, actually, but FIXED!

“It was in fact Chris Coons who demonstrated his Constitutional ignorance when he could not name the five freedoms contained in the First Amendment,” he added.

Religion, speech, press, assembly and…Sneezy?

Freedom from being questioned by the press (or anyone else, for that matter). Applies to wingnut politicians/candidates only.

Also, is the Moran C.O’D.’s Xian-rocker boyfriend w/ whom she allegedly has loud sex? (Per neighbors, look it up.)

Hasn’t this fucking amateur ever heard of soundproof blankets?

I just use one as a comforter, myself.

You don’t suppose the Republicans of Delaware are suffering a little buyer’s remorse right about now, do you?

Hasn’t this fucking amateur ever heard of soundproof blankets?

Hazards. You’re in the kitchen and the corner gets into the toaster, and then you find out the fire department just stands there waiting for the neighbour’s house to ignite.

You don’t suppose the Republicans of Delaware are suffering a little buyer’s remorse right about now, do you?

ARRRRGH! NEVER! THE LATEST POLLS OF MY DONG SHOW ODONNELL SURGING BY 20 ZILLION POINTS AND SHES GOING TO WIN BY 40 ZILLION POINTS AND RESTORE FAITH FREEDOM LIBERTY CHRSITIAN ARGGHGHGHGH

I prefer not to ask what Substance was doing in the kitchen with a toaster that required a soundproof blanket to muffle the cries of ecstasy.

Republicans of Delaware said,

October 19, 2010 at 22:59

Needs more “BLARGGHH”.

Frozen waffles are SEXY.

Evidence La Palin does her own tweets.

Pennsylvania:makes sense 2 send GOP 2 DC 2 avoid PA economic disaster that will occur under Obama/Pelosi Cap & Tax scheme; workers need Raese.”

Raese, of course, is running for the Senate in West Virginia. Perhapps she was worried about losing the dumbest political figure in the nation title to O’Donnell?

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/10/fail-palin-endorses-raese-in-pennsylvania-hes-from-west-virginia.php?ref=fpa

Needs more “BLARGGHH”.

Also needs more “bookmark it”.

You can set your watch.

If you haven’t lost it

You can set your watch.
If you haven’t lost it

It must be in there somewhere.

Re: that talkingpointsmemo.com link on Palin:

Remember when Dan Quayle seemed like the stupidest person ever to hold public office? How I miss those days…(sighs wistfully)

Frozen waffles are SEXY.

Titillating Truculent.

(May be exciting for Substance as well.)

It must be in there somewhere.

Well, if you can find my keys, we can drive out of here.

Oh, and… Sam Alito, a true twunt’s twunt.

It must be in there somewhere.

Well you can bet I’m not going to try to find it.

And now Seavey seems to be blocking his blog from anyone except ‘invited’ readers. Sure that’s a looooong list.

Titillating Truculent.

Ooooh, Krusteaz. DIRTY.

Remember when Dan Quayle seemed like the stupidest person ever to hold public office? How I miss those days…(sighs wistfully)

Don’t worry. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

Well, if you can find my keys, we can drive out of here.

Any sociologist-types have any insight on how all those prepubescent & adolescent jokes get all over this great nation of ours?

Or got all over it, in the dim days when I was barely pubescent & we had only smoke signalstelephones & the mail? I can’t see 10-yr.olds ‘phoning each other cross-country, or mailing the latest juvenile joke to each other, yet when my family moved some thousand miles when I was 10, the youth knew all those jokes, rhymes, & so on.

Not very likely that “Milk, milk, lemonade/around The Corner (heh!) chocolate’s made” (for example) was disseminated in the national media. Then.

Shorter Moran
Re: Five Freedoms

Coons answered the question accurately but not in the way my eighth grade civics teacher taught me.

I had to Google ‘Five Freedoms’ because I don’t remember it from law school (maybe it was mentioned in passing but I don’t remember) Having said that, I think it is a good way to teach high school students about the 1st Ammendment

Maybe Moran could teach ‘The Five Freedoms’ to Christine so that she won’t get so flustered by simple 1st Am questions next time.

I can’t see 10-yr.olds ‘phoning each other cross-country, or mailing the latest juvenile joke to each other, yet when my family moved some thousand miles when I was 10, the youth knew all those jokes, rhymes, & so on.

I have often wondered the same. I looked up “Great Green Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts” on Wikipedia, and it says it was recorded and distributed in 1959 – in the Smithsonian Folkways Collection, no less! Which would have been about 15 years before I first heard it. But I imagine it was mostly word-of-mouth from kids travelling around; I remember meeting some kids from the next state over one summer and they already knew the song, though their version was a bit different. The distance those things spread really is amazing; I suspect it took years for something like that to get around in the old days, and I imagine that most of the transmission of it is still Internets-unrelated, passing from older kids to younger ones somehow.

Alito and Joe Wilson should get to shout out racial epithets at Obama

Why, of course, ’cause Dems were so rude to the last guy.

They were, weren’t they?

Why, of course, ’cause Dems were so rude to the last guy.

I heard that one anonymous guy even submitted an ad to an online contest that compared Bush to Hitler! It was quickly removed and condemned by congress but still . . . republicans or teabaggers would never stoop so low in their criticism of the POTUS amirite?

Shoot. Seavey’s blog is “open to invited users only.”

Therefore conservatives are right because liberals were mean too.

Of course, liberal rudeness consists of criticizing with facts and reason. Whereas conservative criticism consists of insults and factless allegations. But they’re still equal because of CLINTON’S PENIS.

A better punchline is now miss DMV has to forever serve (and work with!) the blackity black blacks she detested even when we dated. Yup, from racist to wingnut. Talk about baby steps.

And no, I didn’t know until we went to a public park and a black family was too near us for her, ahem, “comfort”. Love flew out the door quickly after Everyone’s Favorite Racial Epithet was spoken. Sauntered, anyway.

That woman is a total asshole. She whines because if she argues with “liberals” they get ANGRY, which is bad and fruitless, but then exalts the manly aggressiveness of wingnuts, which is… good and fruity, I guess? What point is she trying to make?

What a fucking twat.

Godz, the image of the two of them… cojoining… gah, now I have to take a sharpened spork to my visual cortex. Thanks, Tinitn.

The Five Free Dumb Wingnut Arguments
by gocart mozart

1. I know you are but what am I?
2. You’re a liberal elitist elitist and also elitist.
3. Look over there! Is that a jackalope?
4. Political Correctness (fart) political correctness
5. Uhm, but what about Clinton’s PENIS! What about that?

Where’s DKW?!??!?!?

Having sex with actor’s mom.

The Five Freedoms of the First Amendment

1. Tagging
2. Turntabalism
3. Rockin’ the mike
4. ???
5. PROFIT!

How did this douche manage to misread The Genealogy of Morals so comprehensively? From where did he get such a bizarre distortion of Nietzsche’s views on cruelty?
Rhetorical answer to rhetorical questions: From out of his butt.

If you want a picture of the future, it’s an inappropriate metaphor for totalitarianism coming out of a human face that looks like somebody stamped it with a boot, forever.

Of course, I got to the bottom and had to click over to Bristol Palin in a gorilla costume. *shudder*

This is yet another occasion which puzzles me as to whether or not this truly happened or was some nonsensical moment from a dream or a Mexican Univision comedy show or whatever, but it just seems that it could not be reality.

An extremely mean and cranky Republican riding on a fictional reputation of political honor and moderation chooses in his Presidential campaign an idiot governor about whom he knows next to nothing, and she proves to be among the most catty, uninformed, corrupt nincompoops who ever came close to high office, and yet gains countless fans who believe she put all the libruls in their place.

The idiot lady mocks all the ‘socialism’ of the Democrats from a state which earns the most federal subsidies of any in the Union, handing out checks to its citizens who then rage against the oppressive federales.

The idiot lady bears a child with a mental disability and instantly any comment vaguely directed in her personal direction becomes a vile attempt to mock retarded kids.

Her daughter bears a child out of wedlock and then both she and her mother become holy icons of family values. This goes on to yield an entire circus of family revelations and mini-scandals, including the unmarried father of the now sainted daughter’s child appearing naked in a national magazine.

The idiot corrupt governor lady then quits her governorship and claims that she’s doing so because she can do more good for the people of Alaska out of office than within, something which amazingly enough is true in the sense that Alaska will be better off without her in the governor’s office.

The sainted daughter who bore a child out of wedlock then appears on a TV show promoting abstinence, and then is invited to a TV show in which celebrities dance. She is reportedly terrible, and most recently actually dressed up with her partner in gorilla costumes, and the sainted daughter (who bore a child out of wedlock) of the idiot governor who quit halfway in after ruining the Old Man’s run for office actually danced on national TV in a gorilla costume.

This is fucking hallucinogenic.

El Cid said,
October 20, 2010 at 0:27

Sarah Palin = teflon personified, as far as her base is concerned. It’s the single biggest personality cult in American politics in my lifetime (please – don’t even think about comparing “Obamania” to it).

My Five Freedoms

Air Guitar
Bikini Contests
Coal Mining
DoubleDown (TM) Freedom-Flavor Sandwich
Evangelism

There’s something funny about Libertarians and conservatives having it out on a publicly funded television channel.

An extremely mean and cranky Republican riding on a fictional reputation of political honor and moderation chooses in his Presidential campaign an idiot governor about whom he knows next to nothing

El Cid missed out the part where the mean cranky Republican loser, having broken his own personal records for EPIC FAIL, then becomes a regular guest on TV shows where he is invited to share opinions that the electorate has decisively rejected. Also appearing on these shows is his 25-year old daughter, who has no more experience or qualifications in national or international policy than anyone else, but she agrees with her father so she is invited anyway. However, when the daughter queries the electability of some candidates, Republican supporters decide that she is unqualified to be a pundit, citing as evidence the size of her breasts.

Argh!!!!!! Scary People inna Video. This should have been a Halloween special. *Shudder*

There’s something funny about Libertarians and conservatives having it out on a publicly funded television channel dissing public transportation while boasting about the ruggedly individualist cars they drive on federal-maintained highways.

There’s something funny about Libertarians and conservatives having it out on a publicly funded television channel whining about welfare bums in the inner city when their states have been on the federal welfare roll for the last seventy years.

There’s something funny about Libertarians and conservatives having it out on a publicly funded television channel mostly coming from a middle class created by twenty years of New Dealing.

And so on, and so forth…

Xecky: Yeah, forgot the summer trip to relatives, cousins, whatever. Or the extended summer stay w/ relatives because your parents are tired of you, or whatever.

“Oooh, Cousin Pottymouth is coming this summer, he always has some good ones.”

What a festering load of suck that was. Honest to God. Did that dude have his hand under the table jerking himself to match his intellectual wankery?

Jeezul, Todd looks a lot like Cornfederate Yankme.

Has anyone ever seen them together?

Weird conservative lady: “Arguing with a liberal is…not very interesting or fruitful.”

Interesting concept, that – one deliberately initiates arguments with others for a certain goal, or “fruit”? What “fruit” would that be, anyway?

Having an argument shouldn’t be a goal in itself; arguments come through differences over a common effort toward a goal.

This seems to be a peculiar conservative concept – manifested by many of our local trolls – that there’s some kind of trophy or prize you get for being an asshole to someone else.

El Cid said,

October 20, 2010 at 0:27

That comment was the best ever. I read it three times.

As for Bouffant’s question about the ubiquity of kids’ jokes, I think they spread so widely because kids are so motivated to be the first to tell a joke to their various social crowds. As I remember things a good new joke was like currency to a kid who liked to make others laugh. Maybe no real social benefit accrued from being the first to tell a joke but I remember thinking it was important. I used to spend my summers in Ireland as a kid and used to look forward to introducing new material gathered during the school year to my cousins and would come back with some in return. Now I see my son doing the same thing with goofs on the Barney theme song and such as when he gets together with his cousins. They’re too young to share any material with him but when they get older he’ll start returning from family get togethers with the primo Manhattan and Westchester shit to distribute to his friends at recess. Hopefully when he grows up he’ll publicly analyze his youthful attempts to make others laugh. That will be a hit, I’m sure.

Having an argument shouldn’t be a goal in itself

On some level, it seems like it should. Since the one thing I know for sure is that neither I nor anyone else is right about everything, disagreeing with people and listening to what they have to say is healthy intellectual exercise. Of course, my idea of “argument” isn’t quite what this person has in mind. More thinking, more talking and less shreiking about the war medals or communist ties of the person in front of me.

I in no way endorse Seavey’s petty and immature attempt to shame and embarrass Rittelmeyer publicly. That’s just in poor taste. At the same time, I have difficulty seeing Rittelmeyer “seducing away” anyone if she’s as mean-spirited as she comes across. “Character-building?” Really?

Did Bristol Palin really dance in a gorilla suit? Or am I high.

It’s a trap!

Did Bristol Palin really dance in a gorilla suit? Or am I high.

could be both.

Added irony by my recent viewing of a performance of Cabaret.

El Cid: Yes. Sometimes we tend to lose sight of the fact that the Republicans actually thought it would be a good idea to put this pinhead next in the line of succession to the Presidency, behind a 78-year-old man with a bad heart.

Oooh. Yikes. Regarding the bizarre Bristol gorilla suit – A commenter on Wonkette reminds us:

If You Could See Her Through My Eyes from “Cabaret.”

Damn you Zombie!! You beat me to it.

Hasn’t this fucking amateur ever heard of soundproof blankets?

Or ball gags?

This seems to be a peculiar conservative concept – manifested by many of our local trolls – that there’s some kind of trophy or prize you get for being an asshole to someone else.

That’s because they confuse meanness with strength. It’s the Keyser Söze approach to debate – just say what you think what the other person is unwilling to say, and you win.

In a previous life, I used to work at a conservative newspaper and many (though not all) of the staffers there subscribed to this view.

Actually, a bit of “six degrees” type irony about that whole association, since Jennifer Grey, who’s another DWTS contender, is Joel Grey’s daughter.

It must be in there somewhere.

Someday, I look forward to meeting Smut Clyde.

I will, of course, be accompanied by a full battalion of lawyers and several angry badgers, just to keep things on the safe side.

OMFG! She is a witch!

I was just scanning through this Hackward Kurtz transcript because there’s a bit in it about the Deadspin guy who broke Favre’s PENIS – when I saw this part near the beginning, immediately after showing the SNL parody of the “I’m you.” ad.

KURTZ: (INAUDIBLE) I sense that you are frustrated. (INAUDIBLE)?
MARTIN: (INAUDIBLE).
HOLMES: (INAUDIBLE). KURTZ: (INAUDIBLE).
MARTIN: (INAUDIBLE).
HOLMES: (INAUDIBLE).
KURTZ: (INAUDIBLE).
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WOLF BLITZER, CNN ANCHOR: (INAUDIBLE)?
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL (R), DELAWARE SENATE CANDIDATE: (INAUDIBLE).
BLITZER: (INAUDIBLE)?
O’DONNELL: (INAUDIBLE).
BLITZER: (INAUDIBLE)?
O’DONNELL: (INAUDIBLE).
(END VIDEO CLIP)
HOLMES: (INAUDIBLE).
FRANK: (INAUDIBLE).
KURTZ: (INAUDIBLE).
MARTIN: (INAUDIBLE).
KURTZ: (INAUDIBLE).
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Sweet IPU! Protect me from Witch-tine O’Donnell and her voice-stealing dark magickes.

meeting Smut Clyde.

I will, of course, be accompanied by a full battalion of lawyers and several angry badgers, just to keep things on the safe side.

Just bring some Red Ties from Drop Zone Security w/. (Fluffy handcuffs optional.)

Also, I’d bet the voice transcription robot at CNN is effed up (along w/ everything & everybody else there.

)

.

Speaking of robots, I don’t appreciate it when one tells me to “slow down.”

Slow down, you move too fast
Got to make the comment last.

Son of a *bitch*. Got out of the boat. I *hate* you, Tintin.

Speaking of robots, I don’t appreciate it when one tells me to “slow down.”
M Bouffant prefers robots that tell him “Faster! Faster! Yes, like that!”

Uh oh — Bristol Palin’s on the loose!

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – A 300-pound chimpanzee that broke free from its chains has been captured after briefly wandering around a Kansas City neighborhood and smashing out the window of a police car.

Police Capt. Rich Lockhart tells The Kansas City Star the department got a call about noon Tuesday that a primate was on the loose a few miles from the Kansas City Zoo.

Lockhart says the ape was actually a pet that escaped from its chains. Lockhart says efforts to shoot the animal, named Sueko, with a tranquilizer dart failed.

The chimp climbed on a patrol car and struck the passenger-side window with its fist before running off.

It can be pretty difficult when you work really hard but the judges still score you badly. She should be a better loser, though.

Pet. Chains. Right.

How could Democrats possibly get young people to turn out to vote in mid-term elections?

Weed.

Pet. Chains. Right.

Was the owner a Christian minister? OPEN YOUR MIND, MAN.

Since Todd has put his blog behind an invite wall, we have captured the personal ad from the Google cache and preserved it for posterity. Just click the cached version link next to the original link.

A 300-pound chimpanzee that broke free from its chains has been captured

That’s no chimp. It was actually Jason Bourne.

An astonishing new technology greatly increases the number of lives saved in surgery.

This magic new development? Writing down a list of things to do in surgery and then checking it off to make sure you did it.

With ‘Star Trek’ advances like these, no wonder health care costs keep spiraling up.

If attempting to get a home loan after bankruptcy eat a fatass doughnut, it is helpful to establish credit establish dominance over said doughnut beforehand. This may include getting approved for a secured credit card or obtaining an auto loan inserting the prime rate into the doughnut hole. By doing so, you will increase your odds of getting approved for a reasonable rate mortgage. get some doughnut while getting some.

This magic new development? Writing down a list of things to do in surgery and then checking it off to make sure you did it.

Say, that might be a good technique for remembering all the shit you need to get a grocery store. Domestic engineers. How do they fucking work?

M Bouffant prefers robots that tell him “Faster! Faster! Yes, like that!”

Damn right! The sooner the horror of commingling bodily fluids & hydraulic oil is over, the better.

Coming to terms with the fact that there is no bottom is hard to take.

Don’t vote, Pedro

Say, that might be a good technique for remembering all the shit you need to get a grocery store.

You can’t just up and declare yourself a surgeon. It takes many years of medical school and all kinds of exams and residencies. List-making and list-checking are not for amateurs.

You can’t just up and declare yourself a surgeon.

I can if I start my very own accrediting body!

Don’t vote, Pedro

Not sure how I feel about this. I’m unhappy at the prospect of giving conservatives any advantage in any election, particularly this one. On the other hand, part of me thinks likes the idea of someone, somewhere, finally putting pressure on the Democrats to start acting like liberals again.

Not sure how I feel about this. I’m unhappy at the prospect of giving conservatives any advantage in any election, particularly this one. On the other hand, part of me thinks likes the idea of someone, somewhere, finally putting pressure on the Democrats to start acting like liberals again.

I’d like to see that too. But I’m sure you share my suspicion that this has nothing to do with liberals acting like liberals and merely another pathetic attempt to disenfranchise Hispanics.

Political pressure is best served with turnout and decisive victories, in my opinion.

the horror of commingling bodily fluids & hydraulic oil is over, the better.

Interest. Website. Newsletter.

Well, SOMEONE had to say it, might as well be the Wlking Dead.

or Walking Dead. wevs. YMMV. Fuck actor’s mom.

For an undead guy, you sure seem to be aware of all the internet traditions, Zombie.

putting pressure on the Democrats to start acting like liberals again.

again? what universe are you visiting from?

The walken Dead? That’s not very kind

For an undead guy, you sure seem to be aware of all the internet traditions, Zombie.

Zombizzles IS an internet tradition, mah fren.

Aw you were a vampire, and baby, I’m the walkin’ dead…

Concrete Blonde

Such a silky, gorgeous voice, that one.

you sure seem to be aware of all the internet traditions, Zombie

The Internets are dead too.

Of course, I got to the bottom and had to click over to Bristol Palin in a gorilla costume.

Hot Voodoo?

Since Mr Seavey has locked down his blog, I present the google cache of the 2007 blog entry, by Mr Seavey, in which he shares his personal ad with the world.

http://bit.ly/agBJWA

Includes bonus updates on the entry till fall 2009. I was delighted to see he repeatedly told people to read his later entries, post-personal ad angst, about his bombshell philosopher girlfriend Helen.

Enjoy. (Apologies if it is already linked in comments above.)

[Tintin adds: I already added a permanent link to the cached version which I’ve uploaded here to Sadly, No! See above.]

OK, fine. A teaser from http://bit.ly/agBJWA

Update fall 2009: OK, Helen’s back — really truly last update ever, come what may.

Fall 2009? Last Update Fail!

😀

I can if I start my very own accrediting body!

Amalgamated Medical Organization, here we come!

Everyone, please come down to earth. And explain all those buttons on her sweater/blouse. WHat the hell?

I still maintain that the operative portion of that personal ad was the following:

Do you cry sometimes without knowing why, or without being able to explain why “in words”?

…and that the explicative for it is the number of times, from a variety of women, that Todd has heard weeping coming from the other side of the bed.

I laughed when I visited my mother (a good dancer and an ardent fan of that terrible show) today and she told me about Bristol and the gorilla suit. As my mom put it, “She didn’t dance any different”.

The Internets are dead too.

As are the Yankees.

((SOB))

LEAVE. BRISTOL. ALONE!!!

LEAVE. BRISTOL. ALONE!!!

Yes, as in ignore her forever.

Though I would like to see BP & Meghan McCain in a Girls Gone Wild breast-size competition.

We could call it a Knockers-off.

I kill myself, though now I s’pose I’ll get some grief for an idiotic comment like that. On a “humor” blog. (Or is that “tumor?”)

Do you cry sometimes without knowing why, or without being able to explain why “in words”?

Evidently an explanation for crying is not acceptable if delivered in “interpretative dance”.
A sad, I has it.

I have to admit I get embarrassed I’m the same species as the people in that video. It’s so weird. It’s like watching a bad movie where just know the characters are real and yet, they are.

. I’m unhappy at the prospect of giving conservatives any advantage in any election, particularly this one. On the other hand, part of me thinks likes the idea of someone, somewhere, finally putting pressure on the Democrats to start acting like liberals again.

I’m not sure who “the Democrats” you speak of are. Are they the same as “The Left” (WAAOAIT:Norbizness)? You seem to be speaking about a group of people capable of rational action, or with some sort of interest in acting in the interests of their base, so I’m a little unclear.

Dude, those clueless gibbering fucks will keep being clueless gibbering fucks the entire way out to the security-guard escorted trip out the back door of the Congressional offices with their office supplies and shit so some teabagger can rub their balls all over the Senatorial desk and any pages in the vicinity &c.

“The Democrats” are, as a hazy rhetorical construction, lazy as fuck, cowardly, and clueless. But they are not people who spend every day plotting the destruction of everything you think is neat about democracy like their opponents are. Try to keep that “on the other hand” as you’re jerking off to Blue Dog revenge porn — at least they are our clueless gibbering fucks.

“Throwing out people who agree with us but suck at what they do and replacing them with Teabaggers — you know, the bottom 1% dumbest most racist violent fucks that somehow couldn’t make their way up through the standard Republican party apparatus until a Negro got elected president and even mainstream Republicans were suddenly not stupid or reflexively violent or xenophobic enough — because that’ll teach the DLC a lesson” is a pretty fucking shitty way to go about things.

Pardon the french. But seriously, treating Democratic congresspeople like they’re capable of learning from anything is ridiculous.

Voting them out would be great! The correct time to vote them out is in the primary.

In the final elections, you need to choose the lesser of two evils, like you and all grownups have to do with all sorts of non-political decisions every single fucking day.

…the number of times, from a variety of women, that Todd has heard weeping coming from the other side of the bed bathroom door.

Fixx0r’d for moar realisticism.

Blue Dog Revenge Porn was good
Blue Dog Revenge Porn: Return of the Melancon was better
Blue Dog Revenge Porn: the liebermanning was best

Pardon the french. But seriously, treating Democratic congresspeople like they’re capable of learning from anything is ridiculous.

Sadly, this era’s convincing me that you’re correct. And sure, a blind monkey would do a better job than any Republican currently running.

Would be nice though if, as you pointed out, we could clean house at the primary a little next time we get the chance.

Nothing anyone could possibly say would convince me that Todd Seavey wasn’t “cooked up” by a team of technicians at ILM.

Todd Seavey – Looks like a hammerhead shark and has the creepy and persnickety manner one associates with people who wipe their asses with Q-Tips. He’s Frazier Crane without the warm wit and self-deprecating charm that diffuses his HUGE corncob-up-his-ass haughty whiteboy douchebag schtick.

In other words, he’s Kelsey Grammer.

The unspeakable in full rant against the unbearable.

You could use the thick scum smug self-importance sloughing off Darling! Helen! to plug the holes in the Titanic. Who’s only assets appear to be her sweater-puppies. And these are the YOUNG CONSERVATIVES!?!?!?!?

They each look like they just molted.

Jeebus, I kilt the thread.

Nah, these things live forever, or will until the Internet dies w/ all of humanity in a sad whimper.

Skipping right to the end rather than reading the 297 comments…..but has anyone else pointed out that Helen (assuming she was the blond, not the hawt redhead) has the oddest shaped head I have ever seen.

and no VPR jokes….

but has anyone else pointed out that Helen (assuming she was the blond, not the hawt redhead) has the oddest shaped head I have ever seen

Her father was a Chaschman.

Suggested DNC ad:

15-20 seconds of the above video {A braver soul than I will have to decide which 20 seconds} with a voice over:

“These people also believe Nuclear Weapons aren’t used often enough.
The face of the “new” GOP. Don’t forget to Vote November 2nd.”

These people also believe Nuclear Weapons aren’t used often enough.

Well, they all have a Pope’s Children vibe, so there’s your explanation.

Wow, I think I stunned the thread with my supergeekery.

WAKE UP, THREAD!!!

Sorry, sleepy time for me.

For me, it’s “no sleep ’til Brooklyn November.

Nothing anyone could possibly say would convince me that Todd Seavey wasn’t “cooked up” by a team of technicians at ILM.
The guys at ILM are professionals who take pride in their work. If they were asked to create a conservative, they would create one who was more lifelike.

Sleepy doesn’t even begin to describe it.

To make matters worse, I have that infernal “History of the Soviet Union With Tetris Melody” music video stuck in my head for what’s looking to be the rest of the day.

“In other words, he’s Kelsey Grammer.”

*guffaw*

”

Wow, I think I stunned the thread with my supergeekery.”

Nah. tsam was here; the thread sensed that.

Hey, no fair! Seavey’s blog is “members only”!

Why am I being deprived of my god-given right to point and laugh?

Hey, no fair! Seavey’s blog is “members only”!
scroll back up the thread for my comments last night. They provide a link to the Google cache of the blog.

Member’s only? I’m in! I have the proper jacket!

I’m unhappy at the prospect of giving conservatives any advantage in any election, particularly this one. On the other hand, part of me thinks likes the idea of someone, somewhere, finally putting pressure on the Democrats to start acting like liberals again.

Go read my blog today, Chris.

We can do both: win the Congress AND put pressure on the incumbents.

Look, turnout is going to be woefully light this year. A lot of people are disgusted and sitting it out. That means the hungrier we are, the more votes we can produce, the more likely it is we can steal a few of those seats from the brink of disaster.

VOTE sir! Dammit!

/ John Adams

The government stands in the way of berry-picking robots for all.

A lot of people are disgusted and sitting it out. That means the hungrier we are, the more votes we can produce, the more likely it is we can steal a few of those seats from the brink of disaster.

Damn straight! I’ve been politely encouraging people to go early-vote. There’s a handy polling station just a couple buildings over!!! Democracy FTW, everyone!

The government stands in the way of berry-picking robots for all.

Unlike undocumented workers, farmers would have to provide healthcare for the robots, including preventive care like lubing and cleaning.

lubing robots?
do you have a newsletter, or perhaps a website?

not for me, I want to pass the info along to Glenn Reynolds.

lubing robots?
do you have a newsletter, or perhaps a website?

As a matter of fact, I do!

77south said,

October 20, 2010 at 14:47

Yeah, no, the cache link is just for the personal ad, I was feeling brave and wanted to climb out of the boat.

Also, too, in re the peeps encouraging Nevada Hispanics to not vote — apparently they’re funded by Swift Boat Liars.

This magic new development? Writing down a list of things to do in surgery and then checking it off to make sure you did it.

Having worked with doctors for four years, I have no guilt in saying that these people are not normal people. Especially surgeons.

My boss works in quality improvement a lot, and the ideas that they discuss sometimes as revolutionary crack my fucking shit up. It’s so cute when they try to be people!

VOTE sir! Dammit!

Trust me, I’m voting.

It’s unfortunate that in the District of Columbia, that vote doesn’t matter much. Wish I could still list Florida as residency, it actually mattered there.

has anyone else pointed out that Helen (assuming she was the blond, not the hawt redhead) has the oddest shaped head I have ever seen.

We were cracking ostrich jokes about Seavey and somewhere along the ways, the word “trisomic” was bandied about.

It’s unfortunate that in the District of Columbia, that vote doesn’t matter much.

That’s why the follow up….remind these asshats who brung them to the dance (e.g. liberals)… is so vital.

Not sure how I feel about this. I’m unhappy at the prospect of giving conservatives any advantage in any election, particularly this one. On the other hand, part of me thinks likes the idea of someone, somewhere, finally putting pressure on the Democrats to start acting like liberals again.

Ideas, newsletter etc. but we think this kind of logic can be expanded upon and we have notes:

1. Appoint Hans von Spakovsky to head up Federal Election Commission.
2.????
3. Glorious workers’ paradise is born!

I’ll be sure to vote. I trust that everyone here will be more than happy to remind me.

Oh, my: from the “Don’t Vote, Pedro” link:

The Democratic Party became home decades ago to every socialist, communist, fascist and Marxist residing in the U.S. and unless one has a debilitating lack of common sense, no one votes for a democrat EVER.

It is the Washington Times, though, so I guess you gotta expect that.

I’ve already early-voted. Huzzah!

Having said that, I’m re-connecting with my natural sense of crushing pessimism. I’ve tried to tell myself it might not be so bad, but it’ll be better if I just let the crushing pessimism prepare me for the inevitable…

The Democratic Party became home decades ago to every socialist, communist, fascist and Marxist residing in the U.S. and unless one has a debilitating lack of common sense, no one votes for a democrat EVER.

Harry Truman – “If you want to live like a Republican, vote Democratic.”

Nuff said.

I’ve already early-voted. Huzzah!

Now get five friends to vote. Do that every day until the election and you’ll account for nearly a hundred votes for the Democrats of your choice.

Then write those asshats and remind them regularly next time around, you can yank those votes out from under them.

Fasces Faces of the Teabaggers: “Look! Look! We’re not racists! Black people can be theocratic too!”

“Si quieres vivir como un republicano, votar por los demócratas”

For the Latino-speaking you need to talk to…

It is the Washington Times, though, so I guess you gotta expect that.

It’s heartening to me that at least locally, that paper’s readers get owned in every election. (Unless they live in northern Virginia, or have another home in a state where it counts more that they use as their primary address).

It’s heartening to me that at least locally, that paper’s readers get owned in every election.

I sort of figure the WashTimes is to DC what the Wall Street Journal is to NYC. It doesn’t reflect the local sentiment, but it gives a mantle of authority and respectability to folks outside the region, and that is actually the bigger audience.

Fasces Faces of the Teabaggers: “Look! Look! We’re not racists! Black people can be theocratic too!”

Thin enough for anorexia.

1) Yes, we know that many blacks are very socially conservative. So why don’t you stop blaming them for the Reichstag fire everything that goes wrong in America? You might actually get more than 10% of the vote.

2) Was it like this in the sixties too? I mean, did the segregationists run out and say “Look! We’re not racist! There’s mics and dagos who agree with us too!”

It’s always been known that there are black people who hate Latinos, Muslims and gays as much as any white Southerner (and Latinos, Muslims or gays who feel the same way about black people). The fact that some of them are bigoted enough to vote teabagger despite community pressures doesn’t prove that you’re not racists. It simply proves that bigots exist everywhere – and that those who vote on their bigotry all flock to the GOP.

I sort of figure the WashTimes is to DC what the Wall Street Journal is to NYC. It doesn’t reflect the local sentiment, but it gives a mantle of authority and respectability to folks outside the region, and that is actually the bigger audience.

Plus you gotta factor in the five or ten percent elite that needs to counterbalance the opinions of the smelly, unruly mob all around them.

The Washington Times is the Rev. Moon’s personal paper. Which means that, compared to it, Fox news is pretty fair and balanced. I rank that paper slightly below bazooka bubble gum wrappers in terms of credibility.

The WSJ, prior to the Murdoch acquisition anyway, had a respectable news organization separated from the op-ed shenanigans. The Washington Times has never had that.

‘2) Was it like this in the sixties too? I mean, did the segregationists run out and say “Look! We’re not racist! There’s mics and dagos who agree with us too!”’

No. The segregationists were proud of their racism then. No “political correctness” to stifle their right to free speech.

As someone on some blog wrote earlier this year, the WashTimes has a circulation of about 65,000 in a metro area of several million. Why it is taken seriously explains much of Villager “wisdom.”

The Washington Times is the Rev. Moon’s personal paper. Which means that, compared to it, Fox news is pretty fair and balanced. I rank that paper slightly below bazooka bubble gum wrappers in terms of credibility.

Oh, I didn’t mean to say that it HAS respectability. I meant that it LOOKS like it has it.

I mean, look! New York Times…Washington Post….Washington Times. See? It’s an amalgam of the names, so it MUST be reputable!

The WSJ, prior to the Murdoch acquisition anyway, had a respectable news organization separated from the op-ed shenanigans.

Their news reporting is still….well, OK. It doesn’t seem to have been too influenced by Murdoch. Their business reporting, apart from where it’s clear Murdoch has stepped in (e.g. China) is still pretty good.

Their news reporting is still….well, OK. It doesn’t seem to have been too influenced by Murdoch. Their business reporting, apart from where it’s clear Murdoch has stepped in (e.g. China) is still pretty good.

Possibly true. OTOH, some people (like my version of evil coworker) only buy it for the op-ed section, which is where all the shit really shines through.

Also since I don’t read it and don’t keep track of the Murdoch Empire too closely… what’s he saying about China? Why does it matter to him?

Actually, now that I have discovered teh gazoogle, the WashTimes self reports circulation of 37,000, on par with the likes of a paper in, say, Odessa, Texas.

what’s he saying about China? Why does it matter to him?

Up until April of this year, he owned China’s main satellite TV provider. I think his wife is from Shanghai, as well. He was also working with the Chinese censors on things ranging from TV programming to Internet access. He really wanted to corner the media market there.

Up until April of this year, he owned China’s main satellite TV provider. I think his wife is from Shanghai, as well. He was also working with the Chinese censors on things ranging from TV programming to Internet access. He really wanted to corner the media market there.

As a James Bond fan, that amuses me.

Ever seen “Tomorrow Never Dies,” where the plot’s about a media baron starting a war to gain exclusive broadcasting rights in China?

Ever seen “Tomorrow Never Dies,” where the plot’s about a media baron starting a war to gain exclusive broadcasting rights in China?

Yup. Jonathan Pryce plays Elliot Carver, a media mogul who tries to drum up the Spanish American War World War III by phonying up stories about imminent attacks and such.

But, you know, no relation to real life…

Back on topic, I went digging on wikipedia;

In 1993, Murdoch acquired Star TV, a Hong Kong company founded by Richard Li for $1 billion (Souchou, 2000:28), and subsequently set up offices for it throughout Asia. It is one of the biggest satellite TV networks in Asia. However, the deal did not work out as Murdoch had planned, because the Chinese government placed restrictions on it that prevented it from reaching most of China. It was around this time that Murdoch met his third wife Wendi Deng.

I suppose the Chinese regime didn’t want a foreign corporate empire in every citizen’s home, especially one as powerful and as prone to flexing its political muscle as NewsCorp?

I almost never have anything nice to say about the CCP, but in this case…

But, you know, no relation to real life…

They claimed he was based on Robert Maxwell, but everyone else saw it as a Murdoch satire.

The Bond movies don’t go too deep into political commentary (now the books, on the other hand…) but they often throw it in there even though the heart of the film remains mindless (and awesome) action.

I think the Bond novels and the earlier movies were made in a time when there was a real enemy, not a shadowy bunch of miscreant criminals giving themselves airs of “international terror” and being patronized by the fright-mongerers here, thus reinforcing their paranoid delusions of grandeur.

So what political message was available resonated with the viewing public: Commies bad, NATO good.

And things blew up and chicks bared skin. Can’t beat that combo!

The Mayan calendar said we’d all be dead in 2 years. So I asked for a second opinion. It gave us another hundred.

The Mayan calendar said we’d all be dead in 2 years. So I asked for a second opinion. It gave us another hundred.

Oh, thank god. Gives me more time to stock up on canned food.

And things blew up and chicks bared skin. Can’t beat that combo!

Still Hollywood’s winning formula. I like!

The Mayan calendar said we’d all be dead in 2 years. So I asked for a second opinion. It gave us another hundred.

I saw that. I love that that only came out now, on the verge of “armageddon,” when people have been anticipating it for so long.

To remain in the entertainment industry, though, the X-files promised us an alien invasion in 2012. Still waiting on that movie.

Oh, thank god. Gives me more time to stock up on canned food.

And the Rapturists a convenient excuse when they’re still here on 1/1/2013.

Well, at least my credit card will expire, even if I don’t…

ZOMBIE!

And the Rapturists a convenient excuse when they’re still here on 1/1/2013.

Dude, that’s the Mayan calendar = heathens!

The real rapture as predicted in the Bible won’t happen until 1,000 2008 every time a new Pope is selected umm… lemme ask my pastor, OK?

Dude, that’s the Mayan calendar = heathens!

Did…did you JUST call All-American actor John Cusack an illegal Messican??????

Ever seen “Tomorrow Never Dies,”

Michelle Yeoh and a handcuffed-motorcycle-helicopter chase. Also Professor Inga Bergstrom.

So, I’m thinking that the forgery and even the “lost” paperwork aren’t the meat of the problem. It was bad enough when all the MBSs were worth crap because the mortgages were going toes up. How about when we find out that they’re not even really backed at all, and the whole damned thing was a sham from the start?

I guess now we know what these Rand-holes really meant when they said they admired and wanted to be “The Producers” in society.

Did…did you JUST call All-American actor John Cusack an illegal Messican??????

Yes!

No!

Perhaps!

Pastor! Little help?

Umm, he was an illegal Messican, but then he got saved!

Take that!

Oh, and I dreamed the next teabagger anti-Obama outrage: Iodine is poison and Obama is ramming it down America’s throat by forcing salt makers to iodize. Bookmark it.

Umm, he was an illegal Messican, but then he got saved!

Oh. Well. Carry on, then…

Cuz, you know…he was in an Amurican film about Amurica falling apart in 2012…he even flew an Amurican plane. He’s an all-American actor, nothing socialist about him!

Michelle Yeoh and a handcuffed-motorcycle-helicopter chase. Also Professor Inga Bergstrom.

Gotta go with Michelle Yeoh, personally.

he even flew an Amurican plane.

“Russian components, American components, all made in Taiwan!”

“Russian components, American components, all made in Taiwan!”

*HARUMPH*

Well, um, but the company was Amurican!

Good for you, Professor Hill!

Is Mrs Thomas now a Doubting Thomas about her husband?

You could tell that Remington Steele’s time as Bond was about at an end by the chase sequence progression.
Goldeneye – tank-car-train
Tomorrow Never Dies – the aforementioned helicopter-mototrcycle whilst handcuffed
World is Not Enough – paratrooping machingun snowmobiles
Die Another Day – rocket sled vs. orbital death beam.

And at that point they needed to reboot. SRSLY, rocket sled vs. orbital death beam? WTF?!?

Interestingly enough the first Daniel Craig movie (Casino Royale) has a memorable chase sequence too. A footchase.

Good for you, Professor Hill!

It seems so fucking random. Does anyone know why she did this all of the sudden?

In other devastating H’wood news, might as well stop looking forward to Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel. In an interview he sed that Cameron had set a new bar with Avatar so Scott now has to top it. *sigh*

Does anyone know why she did this all of the sudden?

Mrs. Thomas is an unforgiving bitch who’s carried a grudge the whole time. Also, she’s a nasty bitch.

In other devastating H’wood news, might as well stop looking forward to Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel. In an interview he sed that Cameron had set a new bar with Avatar so Scott now has to top it. *sigh*

What the FUCK?

I’ve never seen an “Alien” movie, but no, you do NOT need to top Avatar. Enough movies did that before Avatar was even out…

It seems so fucking random. Does anyone know why she did this all of the sudden?
At 7 AM on a Saturday? I mean how catty do you have to be during normal business hours to be this catty at 7 AM on Suaturday?

Who do we have to thank for Jimmy McMillan? As with all things, Ronald Reagan.

I’ve never seen an “Alien” movie, but no, you do NOT need to top Avatar.
You may want to rephrase that. Or are you really saying that he doesn’t need to make a better movie than Avatar?

Mrs. Thomas is an unforgiving bitch who’s carried a grudge the whole time. Also, she’s a nasty bitch.

But but EXTENDING AN OLIVE BRANCH!

Mrs. Thomas is an unforgiving bitch who’s carried a grudge the whole time. Also, she’s a nasty bitch.

Twenty years!

She must have a lot of ulcers.

HAHAHAHAHA WE R IN UR SKOOLZ TAKIN OVER UR TEEM SPORTS

In Burke, one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian, Brown said.

At 7 AM on a Saturday? I mean how catty do you have to be during normal business hours to be this catty at 7 AM on Suaturday?

The timing of the call indicates the culmination of a an angry drunk’s all night bender or a deliberate effort to call at a time when she knew Hill wouldn’t answer the phone because she didn’t have the guts to actually talk to her. Or both. I bet she disabled caller ID just in case Hill was in the office for some reason.

In Burke, one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian, Brown said.

I’ll bet the name of that Christian girl is Mumble Mutter.

Ginny, teh 9th step, UR DOING IT RONG!!!!

In Burke, one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian, Brown said.

Even if this were true, where in the Constitution are Christians guaranteed that public schools ensure that they will always be in the majority (even granting the dubious assumption that Christian = heterosexual)?

Seriously, do Christians need explicit affirmative action now?

In Burke, one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian, Brown said.

If only all conservatives could react to the outside world that way.

Even if this were true, where in the Constitution are Christians guaranteed that public schools ensure that they will always be in the majority (even granting the dubious assumption that Christian = heterosexual)?

I suspect that the vast majority of the team (if not all) consider themselves Christian.

In Burke, one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian, Brown said.
Or they all claimed to be lesbian to keep the moralistic scold from bothering them.

Come on. It’s hard to keep your mind on the game with all that lesbianing going on.

Also, that was the National Conference on Christian Apologetics. If only they would realize how much they have to apologize for.

Come on. It’s hard to keep your mind on the game with all that lesbianing going on.

I gotta start going to more of my local high school softball games!

Perhaps she quit in anticipation of the embarrassment she’d suffer if she couldn’t help but stick out her tongue while in the shower.

Perhaps she quit in anticipation of the embarrassment

When the notoriously-bad-at-softball lesbians LOST AGAIN.

In Burke, one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian, Brown said.

Elena Kagan is still in high school?

Perhaps she quit in anticipation of the embarrassment she’d suffer if she couldn’t help but stick out her tongue while in the golden shower.

FICCSED!

Does anyone know why she did this all of the sudden?

My guess?

She found hubby’s pube on a Coke can.

Which wasn’t hers.

In other words, if Joey’s convinced he’s Jane, then he can use the girls’ locker room and restroom, Brown summarized.

Maybe Joey can play on the girl’s softball team, too, and save them from the scourge of lesbosportifascism.

Seriously, WTF does he want? You’d think he’d be thrilled a person with male equipment who prefers males is out of the boy’s locker room. And what does he want done about the softball team? It’s not like the school mandated a lesbian only team. I don’t know what sort of response they’re fishing for with the “oh noes Christian chick had to quit because LESBOS” tidbit, but mine was “so fucking what?”

In other words, if Joey’s convinced he’s Jane, then he can use the girls’ locker room and restroom, Brown summarized.

Just curious.

Do Joey’s parents object? Would they prefer Joey get his ass whipped daily by the jocks in the boy’s room, or be amongst people who might be slightly more accepting of him, or at least not violent in their objections?

How could Democrats possibly get young people to turn out to vote in mid-term elections?
Weed.

Eric Holder is really not helping right now.

…Brown, a Jewish believer in Jesus, lamented.

Um, Mr. Brown? You might want to address your own religious confusion before you go after others’ alleged gender confusion.

…Brown, a Jewish believer in Jesus, lamented.
Anyone want to join the local chapter of Lutherans for Krishna? I hear they’re recruiting.

2 John 1:7 Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist.

I am the WALRUS antichrist!

Come on. It’s hard to keep your mind on the game with all that lesbianing going on.

Scoff if you will, but I don’t like it when people wear plaid and Birkenstocks and drive Subarus right in front of me. And don’t get me started on the Home Depot talk…

Oh, and btw, I liked “Avatar.” All the hyperbolic disdain for the film seems a little…pearl-clutchy to me.

Um, Mr. Brown? You might want to address your own religious confusion

He can ask God himself who is now appearing in Switzerland.

We call it Homo Depot dear. Get with the program already!

I am the WALRUS antichrist!

Funny, you don’t look like Johnny Lydon…

We call it Homo Depot dear. Get with the program already!

We always called it “Deep Homo” in my family. (Keeping in mind that I was raised in possibly the most un-homophobic family on the planet. All in good, silly fun.)

We call it Homo Depot dear.

More saving, more doing?

Michelle Yeoh and a handcuffed-motorcycle-helicopter chase. Also Professor Inga Bergstrom.

Gotta go with Michelle Yeoh, personally.

I’ll have one of each, Garçon.

He can ask God himself who is now appearing in Switzerland.

It *is* God!

But but EXTENDING AN OLIVE BRANCH!

I don’t think “beating with” counts as “extending.”

We call it Homo Depot dear. Get with the program already!

And its main competitor is … Down-Lowe’s?

Oh, and btw, I liked “Avatar.” All the hyperbolic disdain for the film seems a little…pearl-clutchy to me.

Maybe I’ve just seen so many sci-fi movies I got jaded when this one came around. I didn’t really dislike it; I was glad I saw it, I just didn’t think it was worth the hype.

In context; the only thing that made Avatar really stand out was the special effects, in my mind. While I haven’t seen Alien yet, I understand it’s mostly a suspense/horror flick, so I don’t see how having ordinary, pre-Avatar SFX would detract from the new one they were planning.

Also, from the “Headlines That Didn’t Read The Article” department.

Wall Street Bailout Returns 8.2% Profit Beating Treasury Bonds

The conclusion?

According to Prins’s tally, the money plowed into the financial system to prop it up peaked at $19.4 trillion. Banks have benefited from that cash, which helped keep prices of mortgage securities, house prices and other assets overvalued, Prins said in an interview. Even though some of the support has been withdrawn, part of it will likely be lost, such as the hundreds of billions of dollars put into Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, she said.

“These are all indirect subsidies the banks got,” Prins said. “So the TARP gains touted by the Treasury are only true if you ignore all the other costs.”

*sigh*

I don’t think “beating with” counts as “extending.”

It’s never a good idea to short-arm a beating. You could injure your rotator cuff.

Oh, and I dreamed the next teabagger anti-Obama outrage: Iodine is poison and Obama is ramming it down America’s throat by forcing salt makers to iodize. Bookmark it.

I miss seeing goiters.

I miss seeing goiters.
Go to a tea party rally.

While I haven’t seen Alien yet, I understand it’s mostly a suspense/horror flick, so I don’t see how having ordinary, pre-Avatar SFX would detract from the new one they were planning.

Exactly. It’s like putting Matrix-style effects on A Space Odyssey or some shit.

…Brown, a Jewish believer in Jesus, lamented.
There used to be a shorter word for this, starting with C and ending with -ian.

one Christian girl quit her high school softball team because she was the only non-lesbian
She assumed that the non-christian girls were lesbians because they weren’t in a different boy’s bed each night.

Exactly. It’s like putting Matrix-style effects on A Space Odyssey or some shit.

Or remaking the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Or remaking the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Oh, for FUCK’S SAKE.

Oh, for FUCK’S SAKE

You’re tolerant. I almost tore my hair out, until I remembered I lost it all.

The Mayan calendar said we’d all be dead in 2 years. So I asked for a second opinion. It gave us another hundred.

fucking subcontractors can never meet a due date. It’ll probably be over budget too.

Or remaking the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Aw shit. They shouldn’t do that. Have you seen what Tim Curry and Meatloaf look like these days?

Go to a tea party rally.

I’d rather visit a rotting corpse. Repeatedly.

fucking subcontractors can never meet a due date. It’ll probably be over budget too.

Well, they already undercut on the quality of materials used…

You’re tolerant. I almost tore my hair out, until I remembered I lost it all.

It took me a long time to grow this shit out. I’m not going to ruin it because there’s more evidence that creativity and originality are dead.

I’d rather visit a rotting corpse. Repeatedly.

ZRM is listed on Hannidate.

It took me a long time to grow this shit out.

Photos please.

And if you could manage to get your tits in the same pic…

Or remaking the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Disneyfied RHPS?

METEORS, GODDAMNIT. NOW.

The Mayan calendar said we’d all be dead in 2 years. So I asked for a second opinion.

So did I. It told me, “In your case, you’re better off.”

The Mayan calendar said we’d all be dead in 2 years.

Instead of a mercifully swift apocalypse, we get this suffocating, drawn-out death via global warming. The 100 year date might even be right.

ZRM is listed on Hannidate.

scurrilous lies.

scurrilous lies

I never had sex with that squirrel….

I never had sex with that squirrel….

Too fast for you, huh?

the only thing that made Avatar really stand out was the special effects, in my mind.

Mine too. But godDAMN, those were some special effects.

Agreed that other movies are not now required to push that hard – it was insanely expensive to do and we don’t need the movie industry even more hit-driven by having to make back billion dollar budgets.

He was not aware of all Internet traditions

I never had sex with that squirrel….

Too fast for you, huh?

Damn squirrel. My cat goes on a diet.

Aw shit. They shouldn’t do that. Have you seen what Tim Curry and Meatloaf look like these days?

Frank N Furter will wear a lace-up muumuu and trawler-net stockings.

Frank N Furter will wear a lace-up muumuu and trawler-net stockings.

I’m waiting with……an…..

(wait for it)

…ticipation

Mine too. But godDAMN, those were some special effects.

Right. Dumb movie, happy to see it. I’m not at all worried about Ridley Scott trying to one-up Avatar: he can make a decent movie now and then and when they suck their redemption is usually a sense of style. It’s not like he ever shied away from using what resources he could.

*making mental note to add Predators to Netflix queue, to try to figure out why the fuck Adrien Brody agreed to be in it*

*making mental note to add Predators to Netflix queue, to try to figure out why the fuck Adrien Brody agreed to be in it*

It seems like Brody is in everything these days, none of which looks very worthwhile. I realize that The Pianist is a hard role to follow, but yeesh, he doesn’t seem like he’s even trying.

It seems like Brody is in everything these days, none of which looks very worthwhile.

He’s steadily ratcheted down since Pianist, but the idea of him as an action hero?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….no.

Iodine is poison and Obama is ramming it down America’s throat by forcing salt makers to iodize.

I hunted around the health-nut fringes of the intertubes and found a couple of all-caps shouty people who believe that iodine is part of the CONSPIRACY to POISON US ALL.*

At the moment, though, the accepted conspiracy is that we’re not getting enough iodine, and if you take enough Lugol’s Solution then it will kill the pathogens in your body and drive out all the toxins [warning: you may feel sick for a while as the bromine and and other toxins are being expelled]. Also, the doctors and Big Pharma know this but they want to keep us iodine-deficient and developing all those cancers than iodine would prevent.

Thinking about it, this actually explains why Obama is so keen to take away your salt cellar.
————————–
* Also, “they started putting [iodine] in salt because it is a treatment for all the residual radiation from nuclear testing that is now in the atmosphere as of the 40’s or 50’s.”

Also too, colloidal silver!

I hunted around the health-nut fringes of the intertubes and found a couple of all-caps shouty people who believe that iodine is part of the CONSPIRACY to POISON US ALL.

I wonder how much HFCS, trans fats, polysorbate, potassium benzoate and other wonderful food additives/components these people consume to fuel their anti-iodine outrage?

Hard to tell, but this shouty person is equally concerned about the rest of the consumer environment, including the growth hormones in baby food.

Also, “they started putting [iodine] in salt because it is a treatment for all the residual radiation from nuclear testing that is now in the atmosphere as of the 40?s or 50?s.”

::blink::

Um, Morton’s has been around since 1924. So you mean to tell me that, proactively, the government forced Morton’s to inoculate the population, many of whom wouldn’t be around in 1950?

The same Hoover administration who wouldn’t lift a finger to try to prevent the Great Depression?

Since we’ve gone Ho’wood in here, this isn’t enitrely OT: Gotta love
Elvira

At the moment, though, the accepted conspiracy is that we’re not getting enough iodine, and if you take enough Lugol’s Solution then it will kill the pathogens in your body and drive out all the toxins [warning: you may feel sick for a while as the bromine and and other toxins are being expelled].

Sounds like Kinoki foot pads….

Gotta love Elvira

From your keyboard to God’s ear.

Rowr!

The same Hoover administration who wouldn’t lift a finger to try to prevent the Great Depression?

Hoover was a socialist!

Gee…here’s a shock:

However, effective August 1, 2007, the DEA now regulates Lugol’s solution (and, in fact, all iodine solutions containing greater than 2.2% iodine) as a List I precursor because it may potentially be used in the illicit production of methamphetamine.[12]

So the same barefoot toothless asshats who are whining about its limitation…they wouldn’t be the same folks making thousands using it to conjure up meth, would they?

So the same barefoot toothless asshats who are whining about its limitation…they wouldn’t be the same folks making thousands using it to conjure up meth, would they?

I believe dealing meth is one of the most common ways for skinhead gangs to finance themselves.

Not that I’d ever associate right wing conspiracy theorists with racism. Dear me, no! I’m just saying it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Those sissy Frenchies have spine enough to fight for their benefits.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11591346

At the moment, though, the accepted conspiracy is that we’re not getting enough iodine

Well, a) dream and b) teabaggers, so having even a nodding acquaintance with reality would’ve been pure chance. Interestingly enough, though, the first NPR story I heard after waking was about Ed Markey and radioactive iodine.

Those sissy Frenchies have spine enough to fight for their benefits.

And that’s just over a two year deferral of pension benefits! TWO. YEARS!

Like all countries, France has its drawbacks.

Its strong populist tradition and the level of organization and activism of its working class (via unions that are one of the most powerful parts of the political landscape) are not among them. I really wish we had that kind of thing here today.

And sure, sometimes they go too far or get it wrong too. But in the words of Victor Hugo, “if the balance must weigh unevenly, let it be on the side of the people. They’ve been suffering longer.”

“if the balance must weigh unevenly, let it be on the side of the people. They’ve been suffering longer.”

Certainly, they fight as if they have.

Could you imagine, if the age to receive SocSec was raised here from 65 to 67, the outcry?

Why, I bet you could barely hear that pin drop!

Gotta love Elvira

Gawd, she has to be almost as old as DKW’s mom. Hey wait….

Has anybody ever seen them in the same room?

Could you imagine, if the age to receive SocSec was raised here from 65 to 67, the outcry?

All we’ve been through, nobody’s made a peep.

Until, of course, President Blackula Blackenstein got elected.

On a more depressing note:

“You liberial scumbags should be hung by the neck in public ! We are on to your voter fraud. Keep it up you MOTHER FUCKERS and you will soon be put down for a long dirt nap! Your nothing but a bunch of white guilt ridden assholes, NIGGERS and greasy mexican spics! The WAR is comming and we are going to dispose of each and every one of you while we take OUR (White) nation back.”

Yep, no racism in the Tea Party. I heard Democrats were the Real Racists ™

I see you’re all into fraud. Why do you want to change Texas? You want it to be like a third-world nation? Texas is great – and you want to change it into a third world state.

Sir, I have been to El Paso.

“i hope everyone of you American hating A-holes are thrown in prison for cheating our country and trying to assure socialism…”

Assure socialism of what? Red is its power color? Its ass doesn’t look fat in these jeans?

“hung by the neck in public ! We are on to your voter fraud. ”

Hanged. Hanged. Jeesh. At least spell your threats of murder correctly.

The Tea Party represents the will of the vast majority of the American people.

Liberals, belittle them at your own expense.

Liberals, belittle them at your own expense.

They’ve already belittled themselves to about 30% of the population.

“already belittled themselves to about 30% of the population.”

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! You think so, don’t you fuckface?

Keep thinking that come election day. It will only make our victory and the leftwing establishment’s shock that much more worth it.

Hanged. Hanged.

I’ll take “hung”. A sentimental favourite.

Your nothing but a bunch of white guilt ridden assholes

Our nothing are white guilt-ridden assholes?

*yawn*

Does anybody else smell something slightly putrid?

Yep, no racism in the Tea Party. I heard Democrats were the Real Racists ™

Its findings cite that members of groups such as the Council of Conservative Citizens, which opposes all efforts to “mix the races of mankind,” have become involved in tea party chapters, and that posters on the online white nationalist Web site Stormfront.org have written of “inflitrating” tea party events.

From the Poop of Wash., where, apparently, “Its findings cite that …” is considered English.

I’m posting from my mom’s basement. Even my WoW guild won’t talk to me any more. But with a handle like Minister of War, I’m bound to get laid soon.

Bookmark it, libs!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! You think so, don’t you fuckface?

No, actually, I think 3% is generous.

…Piefilter.

Putrid parody troll, yes. Not slightly, either.

The WAR is comming and we are going to dispose of each and every one of you while we take OUR (White) nation back

I see someone’s been fapping to the Turner Diaries.

Somebody didn’t get his nappy-nap this afternoon. Somebody give MoW his binky and his pacifier.

The Council of Conservative Citizens is America’s number 1 conservative activist organization. Their support to the Tea Party movement is greatly welcomed. Of course the Tea Party has some so-called “respectable conservatives” who bend over backwards to avoid being called racist. But 75% of the American population is white, so we have not much to worry about.

Besides, the blacks, block vote over 90% for Democrats every election, so it’s not like we are going to win many of them over anyway.

Its findings cite that members of groups such as the Council of Conservative Citizens […] have become involved in tea party chapters

Why am I so not surprised?

And yet they’re not the KKK, nope nosirree nuh-huh no way.

Totally off topic, but I’m highly amused by NFL players complaining foots-ball (“It’s a violent game!”) is being sissified because trying to break an opponent’s neck may be penalized.

Sir, I have been to El Paso.

And Laredo too, also.

“You liberial scumbags should be hung by the neck in public ! We are on to your voter fraud. Keep it up you MOTHER FUCKERS and you will soon be put down for a long dirt nap! Your nothing but a bunch of white guilt ridden assholes, NIGGERS and greasy mexican spics! The WAR is comming and we are going to dispose of each and every one of you while we take OUR (White) nation back.”

Though I personally would have worded this differently, I agree with the premise that liberals are a made up of selfhating whites, welfare sucking blacks and illegal mexican scum. Real Americans would not fall hook line and sinker for the leftwing’s agenda which was pulled from the pages of the Communist Manifesto.

Yep, no racism in the Tea Party. I heard Democrats were the Real Racists ™

Their justification for any racists in the teabagger community is that they’re liberal plants out to discredit them. Since this is America, that half-assed excuse for an excuse actually flies with a lot of people.

““i hope everyone of you American hating A-holes are thrown in prison …”

pfft. Ask us how we feel about Velveeta – then you’ll find out what hate is.

I see you’re all into fraud. Why do you want to change Texas? You want it to be like a third-world nation? Texas is great – and you want to change it into a third world state.

To the rest of the world, the South already is a third world state. One that’s freely chosen to be that way, unlike many others.

Harris County, where the King Street Patriots is reportedly part of a broad GOP effort to recruit poll-watchers.

Stay classy, GOP. Mind the fleas when you get out of bed.

The South is a bastion of Traditional America. A place where the old values still flow through the veins of the citizenry. To condemn or otherwise belittle the South is to be anti-American and anti-White.

You effette leftists snobs are gonna be waking up to a new (or should I say Old) America come election day.

The South is a bastion of Traditional America backward yokels. A place where the old values bathtub gin still flows through the veins of the citizenry crackers. To condemn or otherwise belittle the South fail to acknowledge these facts is to be anti-American and anti-White intellectual.

Really, too easy. Somebody else could probably make it funnier.

Ask us how we feel about Velveeta – then you’ll find out what hate is.

Do not include this commie in your Velveeta®-hate, H8R.

It melts soooo nicely.

No tbathtub gin. That’s what them city slickers drink. Real WHITE ‘Murkans drink ‘shine!

You effette leftists snobs are gonna be waking up to a new (or should I say Old) America come election day.

I’m askeert, Pa!

Nobody listens to the Velveeta anger round here.

Do not include this commie in your Velveeta®-hate, H8R.

It melts soooo nicely.

Plus, it’s literally the basis for Kraft Foods Inc. J.L. Kraft got the whole ball rolling when he perfected processed cheese in a double boiler in his kitchen. Which he then left for his wife to clean up. (I made that last part up.)

Mad Libs!

The South is a bastion of ______ _______(adjective, noun). A place where the old __________ (noun) still ____(verb) through the ________(noun, body part) of the __________(noun). To _______(verb) or otherwise _______(verb) the South is to be _________(adjective) and _________(adjective).

Shorter Warner Todd Hudson:

Thank your lucky stars this nation is wealthy enought to foster Nazi costume-wearing freaks:

http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/huston/101020

For that matter, England also has thousands of reenactors of the American Civil War who fly over here to participate in our Civil War events as well as holding their own in Europe and Britain. The same is true in Germany, Russia, France and several other European nations.

I’m pretty certain, though, that WWII re-enactments would raise an eyebrow or two in today’s Germany.

Make that shorter Warner Todd Huston.

Here is an excellent article by the good people at the American Voice. The BNP is right on. We need a rightwing party like them here in the States.

“The British National Party has warned patriots worldwide not to be taken in by comments made by German Chancellor Angela Merkel about the failure of multiculturalism in Germany, saying that it is actually a call for even greater integration of Third World immigrants.

“Ms. Merkel’s remarks, made to a meeting of her Christian Democrats Union (CDU) party, were widely misinterpreted by the controlled media as some type of ‘anti-immigration’ outburst,” the BNP said in an article on its website.

“In reality, it is nothing of the sort. Ms. Merkel’s comments are actually a call for even greater integration of immigrants from the Third World, not less,” the BNP article continued.

Upon closer inspection of Ms. Merkel’s remarks, it can be seen that the BNP is correct.

According to an AFP report from Berlin, Ms. Merkel called on “the country’s immigrants to learn German and adopt Christian values.”

The AFP report continued: “Multikulti, the concept that we are now living side by side and are happy about it, does not work, Merkel told a meeting of younger members of her conservative Christian Democratic Union (CDU) party at Potsdam near Berlin.

“‘This approach has failed, totally,’ she said, adding that immigrants should integrate and adopt Germany’s culture and values. ‘Subsidising immigrants’ isn’t sufficient; Germany has the right to ‘make demands’ on them, she added, such as mastering the language of Goethe and abandoning practices such as forced marriages.”

The BNP correctly analyzed her remarks as meaning that she had “in essence endorsed the ‘become like us and do not form separate societies’ philosophy.”

“This belief, that Third World immigrants can “become” German (or British) simply by learning the language and not forming separate cultural ghettoes inside European countries, is, of course, as much of a disaster as the multicultural approach, and just as deadly,” the BNP article continued.

“Both approaches fail to account for the reality that all ethnicities are linked to a specific people, and cannot be ‘transplanted’ like clothes or language by checking through an airport terminal.

“It is, for example, the uniqueness of the British people, their originating population, and their ancestry going back tens of thousands of years, which make the people” of Britain unique, the BNP continued.

“In the same way, it is the ancestry, heritage, and history of the German people which make them unique. Any attempts to deny this uniqueness by pretending that Third World immigrants can ‘become’ British or German just by learning a language and dressing in a bowler hat or lederhosen, is nonsense, born out of ignorance or maliciousness.”

The BNP went on to explain the concept in a novel way:

“- Would an African who learned Mandarin and dressed in Oriental clothes become Chinese?

– Would an Englishman who learned Ngaanyatjarra and who dressed in animal skins become an Australian Aborigine?

– Would a Chinese person who learned Yoruba and dressed in African garb become a Nigerian?

– Would an African who learned Iroquoian and dressed in deerskin and wore a feather hat become a North American Indian?

“The answer to all these questions is a resounding no, and only an idiot would even contemplate otherwise.

“Yet, the very same people who would deride any of the concepts outlined above, would have the rest of the world believe that Africans, Asians, Chinese, and all manner of Third Worlders can suddenly ‘become’ European simply by learning the language and dressing like Europeans.

“It is this civic nationalist ideology, also known as ‘cultural nationalism,’ which is far more insidious and dangerous to the existence of the native people of Europe than even the obviously failed ‘multiculturalism’ to which Ms. Merkel referred,” the BNP said.

“Multiculturalism, and its twin ideology of “cultural nationalism” ignores the demographic reality of a higher Third world immigrant birth rate. This will inevitably lead to the overwhelming and destruction of the native peoples of Europe, irrelevant of the language and dress of the conquerors.”

It is thus premature for patriots to presume that Ms. Merkel’s remarks are some type of return to the preservation of Germany for the Germans. They are not.

What Ms. Merkel and her colleagues actually want is for immigrants to be absorbed even more closely and not to form racial ghettoes in German cities. Ms. Merkel seeks nothing less than the genetic dissolution of the German people, and is just another false “conservative.”

I’ve had both Velveeta and 1970s-era government cheese. Velveeta is way worse. I wouldn’t feed Velveeta to MoW.

Okay, I would, but I really am a godless commie.

Man, if only the badger piescript worked in Chrome.

Dear Cthulhu below, I hate copy-pasta trolls. Granted, it ups the percentage of correctly spelled words, but other than that, it is quite tiresome.

WC, I LOVE Mad Libs.

The South is a bastion of poopy giraffes. A place where the old fart still fucks through the balloon anus of the potato masher. To flub or otherwise fart the South is to be chunky and creamy.

Velveeta®: What’s not to like?

(Exception granted for Poopy Max. Unless that’s why he hates the Wonder Cheese Product.)

I wouldn’t feed Velveeta to MoW.

Maybe not, but I’d be willing to use it for lube for the anal rape machine I’m imagining just for him. Not to lube him, no, there’s sand for that, but to lube the actual machine.

Well if a German chancellor insists on Germaness, what could possibly go wrong?

PM and others of the gay-American persuasion, no harm intended.

I’m pretty certain, though, that WWII re-enactments would raise an eyebrow or two in today’s Germany.

That’s because the Germans actually have a sense of shame and remorse about what happened under the old fruitcake. I’ve never been exactly sure why. Not that it’s not warranted, but because it’s so rare, when you compare it to the “yes but!” “technically!” “we are a great nation and we have nothing to be ashamed of!” responses you get in America and elsewhere when discussing past war crimes.

Some argue that it’s because the Allied occupation brainwashed them to feel guilty, but the Allies occupied Japan too and there’s not nearly the same kind of remorse about the war there. Some, of course, argue that it’s because Germans are civilized whities while the Japanese are savage and remorseless – but then there’s the lack of embarassment for past crimes (Indian genocide, colonization, etc) from every other civilized whitie nation. And the Germans aren’t exceptional politically; if Merkel’s latest comment was any indication, far right nativism still holds water there just like everywhere else.

Nevertheless, the fact is that the Germans have a guilt complex when it comes to their past crimes that’s close to unique in the modern world. I’d like to know why, because there’s a lot of countries where I’d like to replicate it.

The BNP is right on. We need a rightwing party like them here in the States.

We do. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NSDAP

Crap. I meant –

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_Party_movement

Nevertheless, the fact is that the Germans have a guilt complex when it comes to their past crimes that’s close to unique in the modern world. I’d like to know why, because there’s a lot of countries where I’d like to replicate it.

A shame complex would be a good starting point.

If a white Euro learned to speak Iriquois & wore a breechclout, would that make him an American? I think not.

If someone from somewhere else immigrated to the United Snakes, passed the test, became a citizen & swore allegiance to the nation & Constitution, does that make them an American?

Yup.

Um, Morton’s has been around since 1924. So you mean to tell me that, proactively, the government forced Morton’s to inoculate the population, many of whom wouldn’t be around in 1950?

The same Hoover administration who wouldn’t lift a finger to try to prevent the Great Depression?

Coolidge. Who was even worse.

Assuming we’re still talking 1924.

Well, their past crimes that’sare close to unique in the modern world.

Certainly the (Germanic) organization & efficiency of those crimes were almost unique.

2 B clear, I don’t hate Velveeta. I hate that it’s foisted off as food.

For that matter, England also has thousands of reenactors of the American Civil War who fly over here to participate in our Civil War events as well as holding their own in Europe and Britain. The same is true in Germany, Russia, France and several other European nations.

Does anyone believe this for a minute? I can imagine some Limeys (possibly) going for it, but if WTH really believes there are Russkies busily reënacting the War Between The States … well, he’s a fucking moron from the git-go, so no real surprise.

None of those countries have their own wars to do over?

To me, it’s melty stuff to put on food-like products.

Glenn Beck: Evolution Is ‘Ridiculous — I Haven’t Seen A Half-Monkey, Half-Person Yet’

I have. It’s on FOXNews every weekday day at 1400 PT, 1700 East Coast Elitist Time.

Certainly the (Germanic) organization & efficiency of those crimes were almost unique.

Sure. But all of them were either remakes or logical extensions of things that had happened before and would happen again.

Extermination of entire peoples wasn’t unique. Racial stratification of society and occupied countries wasn’t unique. Wars of aggression weren’t unique. Totalitarian governments weren’t unique. Other countries have been guilty of that too, and yet none of them developed the kind of culture that the Germans have with regards to Hitler’s legacy.

If you have half a monkey and half a person all it takes is duct tape.

More Crystal Catheter Schadenfreude. Sorry about the DC link, but nagonna look for the AP story elsewhere.

If you have half a monkey and half a person all it takes is duct tape.

Be sure the parts are correctly aligned w/ each other.

Be sure the parts are correctly aligned w/ each other.

I think it’s more important to have half of one and half of the other. Otherwise it’s not a true half-man-half-monkey. It might be a little more monkey or a little more man, and you don’t want that. A small pocket knife will remove overage.

cf. Goldberg Unit.
http://themedandvariations.blogspot.com/2009/08/jonah-goldberg-is-one-of-leading-minds.html

(NSFW if you work somewhere where a micropenis dyed Cheeto orange is an issue)

Re: half-man, half-monkey, be aware that the man part is larger, so align critical structures first.

You’re all going at it the wrong way. Think vertically, not horizontally.

Well, if you get, say, a mandrill and a really small man it should work out fine.

Half a man is no mandrill at all.

Flag desecration: IOKIYAR.

Seavey really needs to get together with this woman

Her father was a Chaschman.

How’d I miss this?

I am ashame’d.

If you use a mandrill be sure to lube it properly with Velveeta.

If you have half a monkey and half a person all it takes is duct tape.

Duct tape won’t cut it (so to speak), what with all the blood and bits of viscera dripping around. What you want is BearBond to support all your man/monkey taping needs.

Wouldn’t Gorilla Glue be more appropriate?

Wouldn’t Gorilla Glue be more appropriate?

I’d say you’re half right.

Think vertically, not horizontally.

I was. Or am. Man on one side, “Monkey” on the other. Ape, really.

Glennbeck says he’s never seen a half-monkey half-human?

Wasn’t he paying attention at his Teabagger rally the other week?

Does anyone believe this for a minute? I can imagine some Limeys (possibly) going for it, but if WTH really believes there are Russkies busily reënacting the War Between The States … well, he’s a fucking moron from the git-go, so no real surprise.

There is a fascination in many European countries with both the US Civil War and the ‘Wild West’ wars against the Indians. This makes for interesting re-enactors stories.

Here is an example of an re-enactors group in Italy who focus on the American Civil War.

Here are some Russian re-enactors of various Native American peoples. (Scroll for photos.)

These too are things, in this world.

A mandrill is already nearly half man. And slightly more than half drill.

As a former Georgian and current Mass resident, if we wanted to do anything to the south it would be to make it more like the blue states, eg higher standards of living, better education, being a non-hypocritical and productive part of the country instead of getting tons in federal subsidies while puling about welfare, etc.

…if we wanted to do anything to the south it would be to make it more like the blue states…

You can lead a horse to water…

I’m looking right at YOU, Georgia.

I do remember Krauts & their Western fast-draw clubs in the ’60s or ’70s. Keep forgetting Yankee cultural/cinema/tee vee hegemony.

And I’d forgotten this item, which I “covered” myself. That’s fully committed reënacting.

You can lead a whore to culture, but …

actor212 said,

October 19, 2010 at 19:46

That’s an insult to The Lawgiver and Orangutans everywhere.

Librarians rule, Ook! – Terry Pratchett

There’s Go-rilla Tape, too.

Here is an example of an re-enactors group in Italy who focus on the American Civil War.

Canning (voice over): Miss Rita Fairbanks – you organized this reconstruction of the Battle of Pearl Harbour – why?
Rita: Well we’ve always been extremely interested in modern drama … we were of course the first Townswomen’s Guild to perform ‘Camp On Blood Island’, and last year we did our extremely popular re-enactment of ‘Nazi War Atrocities’. So this year we thought we would like to do something in a lighter vein…
Canning: So you chose the Battle of Pearl Harbour?
Rita: Yes, that’s right, we did.
Canning: Well I can see you’re all ready to go. So I’ll just wish you good luck in your latest venture.
Rita: Thank you very much, young man.

She retreats, and joins the other ladies who meanwhile separate into two opposing sides facing each other.

Canning (reverential voice over): Ladies and gentlemen, the World of History is proud to present the premiere of the Batley Townswomen’s Guild’s re-enactment of ‘The Battle of Pearl Harbour’.

And tonight at the Old Entomologist we will be re-enacting the 1282 Sicilian Vespers. Beer will be involved.

the Old Entomologist

That’s where you have the Diet of Worms, right?

I’m not dead yet!

Gurlfriend you been dragged through the mud. Shaddap and die already, you’re ruining my thang.

English re-enactors on racism in re-enactments.

Contrary to popular belief, the Civil War was not about slavery. Atleast not in the beginning. To the South the war was fought to preserve the Jeffersonian principle of state’s rights and to oppose the expanison of federal power. To the North, the war was fought, initially, to preserve the Union by any means necessary and to increase the power of the federal government at the expense of the states.

The Declaration of Independence itself established the legality of succession. The Confederacy was following in the footsteps of General Washington and his Continental army in waging a war to preserve the liberty that their forebearers had fought so hard to obtain and to resist the unconstitutional expansion of federal power at the expense of the states.

I’ve been grading papers all evening, catching budding plagiar-artists left and right. This MoW piker is just phoning it in. My freshman comp students would weep at the ineptitude.

About 53,000 results (0.09 seconds)

waging a war to preserve the liberty that their forebearers had fought so hard to obtain

I don’t think ‘forebearers’ is a word. You could probably use ‘forbearers’ if you’re talking about people who refused to be provoked into conflict, but how could they fight hard if they avoided fighting? Is this some kind of zen thing? Or did you mean to write ‘floor buffers’? Or fussballers? Four boogers? Furburgers? Foreskinners?

The Civil War was not about states’ rights. Though no one will discuss it now, it was really about the right of Southern states to hookworm, pellagra, mud roads, and illiteracy.

An offensive urban society was encroaching upon these Southern honors, and there truly would be no way to fight back. The South risked everything to avoid being overwhelmed with nutrients or drainage systems, and dedicated itself to keeping up its beloved, traditional way of dying from dysentary.

To this day the South battles back, achieving levels of obesity, heart disease, drug addiction, and general impoverishment well beyond the ability of oppressive federal intervention to destroy!

To this day the South battles back, achieving levels of obesity, heart disease, drug addiction, and general impoverishment well beyond the ability of oppressive federal intervention to destroy!

In Kentucky, they call this phenomenon “Doubling Down.”

Howcome the video stops just when the catfish is about to explain what she feels is “out of bounds” in a world where men should fight more frequently to promote (wtf?) politeness? I was actually curious to hear her answer.

Though no one will discuss it now, it was really about the right of Southern states to hookworm, pellagra, mud roads, and illiteracy.

Funny, those eeeevil Messicans could have saved them from pellagra:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nixtamalization

Minister of War said,
October 20, 2010 at 23:38
“You liberial scumbags should be hung by the neck in public ! We are on to your voter fraud. Keep it up you MOTHER FUCKERS and you will soon be put down for a long dirt nap! Your nothing but a bunch of white guilt ridden assholes, NIGGERS and greasy mexican spics! The WAR is comming and we are going to dispose of each and every one of you while we take OUR (White) nation back.”

Bring it, cunt. YOU will be the first to die, by my hand.

Back on topic, the individuals in the video all look like they were models for Mervyn Peake illustrations:

http://www.mervynpeake.org/novelist.html

Sorry about the “ugly” links- using a different computer without all my “href” documents for cut-and-paste work.

Ha, talking all tough n stuff on the interwebz makes me tickly in my tiny tiny pee pee.

Slow down–you fucking slow down, asshole. FYWP and the ministar of whore you rode in on.

YOU will be the first to die, by my hand.

Use your foot, instead- it will be funnier.

Use your foot, instead- it will be funnier.

You shall die, by my foot…nah, that doesn’t sound like a badass proclamation from a gladiator movie, which I frequently watch while seeing a grown man naked and spending time in a Turkish prison.

Although the foot would be easier. The tone of the letter indicates that Mr. Minister (not the 80’s band recently referenced by the worst band evar) is about 4’9″ with an enormous hydro head. I would squish him like a cockroach.

How many forbearer skins are required to cast a shawl? And wasn’t there Velveeta on Amber Pawlik’s “pizza,” or was that Miracle Whip?

the individuals in the video all look like they were models for Mervyn Peake illustrations:

Shirley this one is more to the point.

HAHAHAHA–Facebook funny…

One of my daughter’s friends responding to a comment made by her father on one of her pictures from the Homecoming dance:

Gawd father must you go all weird on my facebook?

I had to wipe the tears from my hysterical laughter away to write this post.

I don’t mind a parasite troll. I object to a cut-rate one.

Seavey should get together with this woman.

Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey is too much of a high-quality woman to approve of his creepazoid dramawhoring shennanigans!

Tsam, have you no shame, or boundaries?

As you may have guessed, I have encountered some “mentally special” women over the years and am keen to avoid a repeat performance.
So what he’s saying is that the developmentally disabled chicks he’s hit on were either smart enough/repulsed enough to immediately rebuff him?

So what he’s saying is that the developmentally disabled chicks he’s hit on were either smart enough/repulsed enough to immediately rebuff him?

I could see this creep telling the bagger at the supermarket, “Put the summer sausage in the bag reeeeaaalllll ssssslllloooowwww.”

I could see this creep telling the bagger at the supermarket, “Put the summer sausage in the bag reeeeaaalllll ssssslllloooowwww.”

EWWWW!

Minister of War said,
October 21, 2010 at 4:06

As obscene as that sounds, they’re entirely sincere. To them, the Civil War was about states’ rights; the rights of certain states to retain ownership of property. What other rights could be at stake? The black people’s rights? They’re not people, they’re property. And that’s so obvious a fact that none of the Yankees could possibly be motivated by anything other than a desire to screw the good Southern Christian white man.

You shall die, by my foot…nah, that doesn’t sound like a badass proclamation from a gladiator movie, which I frequently watch while seeing a grown man naked and spending time in a Turkish prison.

I giggled.

We need a rightwing party like them here in the States.

It’ll make rounding them up and shooting them easier. I concur.

To them, the Civil War was about states’ rights; the rights of certain states to retain ownership of property.

And yet these are the same people who don’t give two shits about the massive banking fraud that has made questionable who owns the title on huge numbers of properties.

Sorry I missed this.. I gotta say, that was just awesome. Everything should be done to continue that freakshow, including sock puppetting comments at their respective blogs.

Todd Seavey! Wow! I knew this guy a million-years ago. He was a friend of a friend. The funny part was I watched this clip the other day where he was identified as a random wingnut and I didn’t know it was him.

The one thing I remember about him was his explanation for why he became a hardcore libertarian. It was that growing up, his parents didn’t discipline the pets well enough.

growing up, his parents didn’t discipline the pets well enough.

Well that makes sense.

…if you have spina bifida.

It was that growing up, his parents didn’t discipline the pets well enough.

It sounds like they should have thrown him the random beatings, not his cat.

Who else would pay to see that chick try to seduce another woman’s guy out from under her?

…the leftwing’s agenda which was pulled from the pages of the Communist Manifesto.

Do you know what ELSE was pulled from the pages? VPR.

Pere Ubu said, …Until, of course, President Blackula Blackenstein of Blackhaven, Blackington got elected.

fiquis’t

“Reading Rand: Discovering the Right to Fail.”

This sounds reasonable. He’s read the deranged débutante’s dribblings once again and suddenly realized that conservatism is fucked. Or does he mean Fail is his, God-given and inalienable? Either way, I think you’re being too hard on him.

“Real Americans would not fall hook line and sinker for the leftwing’s agenda which was pulled from the pages of the Communist Manifesto.”
That‘s where I left my agenda. Thanks, fascist dude. Do you know which pages? I mean have you ever actually read it?
http://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1848/communist-manifesto/
Is it kind of like Nostradamus where it predicts stuff liberals will do that just happened? I really want to know if you think.

As creepy as Todd is, he comes off looking good next to Helen Wheels.