M’m! M’m! Halal!
When Bryan Fischer isn’t running around claiming that there is a gay conspiracy to kidnap your children, sodomize them and then force them to become gay abortionists, he is — quelle surprise — warning of the imminent takeover of the United States by the Mooslim hordes who will not rest until your children are forced to memorize the Koran, your wife to don a burqa, and you to bow down facing Mecca five times a day. Oh, and they’re coming for your dog Fluffy too.
Now we learn from Bryan that the Islapocalypse is closer than previously thought. Campbell’s Soup, America’s iconic purveyor of artificially flavored salted water, hypertension and heart disease, has defected to the jihadists
Creeping Sharia has come to a grocery aisle near you. Campbell’s soups have come out with a line of 15 halal-certified soups which comply with the dietary regulations of the two percent of the American population that follows Islam. …The next time you pop open a can of Campbell’s vegetarian soup, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that you are consuming jihadi-sanctified food. … What more people will find offensive is that the person carrying out the killing must recite a Koranic verse while the lifeblood of the animal drains away, thus dedicating the animal and the meat that comes from it to Allah. … The prayer? “Bismillah Allah-hu-Akbar”, which means “In the name of Allah, who is the greatest.”
And just as its a small step from a simple nosh on a kosher hot dog to waking up one morning wearing a yarmulke and sporting newly-grown payots, just tasting one tiny spoonful of halal Campbell’s Soup will have you shouting Allahu Akbar during Monday Night Football and surfing the web for the latest in suicide vest fashions.
Sharia law is no longer creeping up on us. It’s bearing down on us at full gallop. It’s time for Christian civilization to grab the reins of this runaway horse and stop it dead in its tracks. No Sharia law in America, period.
Oh, and before any of you become fearful of visiting your neighborhood grocery store lest you become the involuntary victim of the Islamic conversion-by-canned-soup plot, the halal Campbell’s sharia law soup cans are only available in Canuckistan, which you will find out if you click Fischer’s link. For the life of me I really can’t figure out why he failed to mention that these jihadist soups were only available in Canada, although I suppose it rather fucks up his argument about Sharia law bearing down on the U.S. “at full gallop.” Or maybe Fischer doesn’t understand that Canada is another country.
[h/t Sadly, No! special agent code named “I Want Reason To Prevail.”]
Two for one Filet O’Fish specials during Lent are oppressive.
It’s the Mounties who are galloping — straight at our unprotected Northern border — armed with soup spoons. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!1111!!111
I’m having the Kareem al Muzjroum Zhoüp.
I am certain that this means they will also be boycotting everyone selling kosher products as well. Can’t be imposing any of that religious law stuff here in AMuriKKKa!
What? Why are you laughing?
Dammit, I went anonymous. Voided my cookies, I guess, sort of like Jonah in reverse.
Clearly, the Canadian free market hates America.
The soup is coming from **gasp** inside the continent!
Given that those soups are vegetarian, the ritual slaughter business doesn’t appear to be much of an issue on a practical basis.
His comments contain a heapin’ helpin’ o’crazy!
Given that those soups are vegetarian, the ritual slaughter business doesn’t appear to be much of an issue on a practical basis.
Yeah, I think all you have to do is have an imam come check the manufacturing plant out and either say it’s halal or it’s not. It’s not that big of a fucking deal. It’s not much effort for Campbell’s and expands their market.
This is an example of the free market working. Why do conservatives hate the free market?
Creeping Sharia has come to a grocery aisle near you. Campbell’s soups have come out with a line of 15 halal-certified soups which comply with the dietary regulations of the two percent of the American population that follows Islam
And the 33.3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333% of the world’s population that follows Islam!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH A COMPANY TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK SOMEPLACE OTHER THAN OUR FUCKING FAILED ECONOMY, YOU MOTHERFUCKING MORON????
Actually, the veggies are harvested using IEDs and conventional land mines.
Actually, the veggies are harvested using IEDs and conventional land mines.
I thought they were aborted from kidnapped white women?
I’m having the Kareem al Muzjroum Zhoüp.
I thought it was Kareem of Muslim Soup?
Okay, somebody has to be there the day that the food is manufactured and blesses it every time. Still, if they do that once or twice a week, I’d imagine it would be worth it.
Well, I guess I’d better stay away from Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Might turn me into Jonah Goldberg, God forbid.
Well, I guess I’d better stay away from Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Might turn me into Jonah Goldberg, God forbid.
Only if your freebase Moonpies does the actual Loadpants conversion take place.
Actually, the veggies are harvested using IEDs and conventional land mines.
You know what the shape of a scythe is?
That’s right, A CRESCENT! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
So how is this hatefest playing among Real America’s Favoritest Pet Religious Minority(TM), the Jooz, considering how close the concepts of halal and kosher are?
And I like the bit about Muslins kill animals and eat them!!! The savages!
The fact is, the free market encourages jihad.
Okay, somebody has to be there the day that the food is manufactured and blesses it every time. Still, if they do that once or twice a week, I’d imagine it would be worth it.
No. Halal law only states that if an animal is slaughtered, God’s name and blessing must be invoked. For vegetable soups, not a problem. Campbell’s only makes halal vegetable soups, which means the broth is vegetarian.
Only if your freebase Moonpies does the actual Loadpants conversion take place.
Well, you actually have to mainline the Dew and huff the Cheetos as well.
America is a Christian Nation, and as such muslims do not belong here. Europe is on the verge of falling thanks to mass muslim immigration combined with White European low birth rates. America must act now or suffer the same fate.
Third world immigration both legal and illegal, from both Latin America and the Muslim world must be curbed. The Kennedy’s got us into this mess by overturning Our Nation’s previous Whites only immigration policy. It is up to a future Conservative Administration to turn back the clock and restore American Greatness.
And I like the bit about Muslins kill animals and eat them!!! The savages!
Curiously, the only real difference between kosher and dhamiha is…Islam permits camels to be eaten.
America is a Christian Nation, and as such muslims do not belong here.
Or Jews. Guess you’ll lose your banker…your television station…your radio station…
The fact is, the free market encourages jihad.
Jihad is cheaper at Wal-Mart
It’s time for Christian civilization to grab the reins of this runaway horse and stop it dead in its tracks
I’m pretty sure that horse is non-halal.
My devout gramma used to scoff at religious pretenders who only went to church on Sundays. “You can sleep in the garage, but it don’t make you a car”, she loved to say. One sip of Fatwah-Bin-Jihad soup, however, is apparently enough to turn the most god-fearin’ Bahble-thumpin’ Christian into a commislamofasciburqasociabortioterrist!
This makes me wonder if there’s room for an anti-Halal/anti-organic certification. What if foods came with a label guaranteeing the ingredients were made with minimal quality or safety standards, and maximal cruelty, blasphemy and waste? I think that would be a winner with a lot of people.
I’m pretty sure that horse is non-halal.
Guess again.
Not kosher, but it is halal.
Hey Steve! Die in a fire, you white supremacist fuckstick.
At full gallop? Holy shit. When it was just at half-gallop, I wasn’t scared. Now…
This makes me wonder if there’s room for an anti-Halal/anti-organic certification. What if foods came with a label guaranteeing the ingredients were made with minimal quality or safety standards, and maximal cruelty, blasphemy and waste?
There is!
It’s called “Kraft”.
Velveeta, the “cheese” that would not die….
(megapoints to whomever gets THAT reference…)
At full gallop? Holy shit. When it was just at half-gallop, I wasn’t scared. Now…
You’re eating for two now, you’ll understand.
No. Halal law only states that if an animal is slaughtered, God’s name and blessing must be invoked. For vegetable soups, not a problem. Campbell’s only makes halal vegetable soups, which means the broth is vegetarian.
Thanks. I had a brain fart and thought that processed foods had to be inspected/blessed to be halal.
One sip of Fatwah-Bin-Jihad soup, however, is apparently enough to turn the most god-fearin’ Bahble-thumpin’ Christian into a commislamofasciburqasociabortioterrist!
What does Tim Tebow’s mom feed him before game day? Surely Jesus can make a soup that powerful, too.
Technically, we don’t get to do that. Which is ok by me.
For the life of me I really can’t figure out why he failed to mention that these jihadist soups were only available in Canada, although I suppose it rather fucks up his argument about Sharia law bearing down on the U.S. “at full gallop.”
Now we have a reason for the “True Americans” *snerk* to be afraid of the other border as well.
Christ, why not just give in to the reinforced concrete conspiracy and go ahead and build a wall around the country? We’re just like East Germans in so many ways these days – why just not say the hell with it and go whole-hog?
Dance, badgers, dance!!
Though it works better when folks don’t pull out the troll’s quotes. Like this one:
I’m fairly sure that there are … oh, let’s see here … **carries the one** … 1.3 BILLION people who are just fine with the horse the way it is, fuckyouverymuch.
Just because you are okay with genocide doesn’t mean everyone else is.
Technically, we don’t get to do that. Which is ok by me.
OK, you’re eating for one and a half. I’m glad hubby is taking his share of the spoils. Why should the preggers chick have all the fun?
I say we just build them around all conservative enclaves, such as most of Texas (sans Austin), South Carolina, Kansas, and other homes of numbnuttery and dumbfuckery. It needs to be very, very sturdy and about 50′ or so tall …
… and once the walls are built, we fill all those areas with water. And stock them with trout, bass, et al.
Think of all the jobs that would create!!
I’m not seeing the connection between a marketing and manufacturing decision about soup leading to a wholesale change in the country’s legal system. Yay, that means I’m still sane!
Or if not sane, then crazy in a different way than Fischer is, which is good enough for me.
I say we just build them around all conservative enclaves, such as most of Texas (sans Austin), South Carolina, Kansas, and other homes of numbnuttery and dumbfuckery. It needs to be very, very sturdy and about 50? or so tall …
… and once the walls are built, we fill all those areas with water. And stock them with trout, bass, et al.
My liberal family members in Kansas appreciate that, thanks.
He’s drinking all my beers, too. Bastard.
(megapoints to whomever gets THAT reference…)
Dammit, it, much like Velveeta isn’t, is on the tip of my tongue.
Think of all the jobs that would create!!
Quick! There’s a White House economic website just itching for a suggestion like this!
Dammit, it, much like Velveeta isn’t, is on the tip of my tongue.
::blink:: I was sure you’d get it.
We’d get all the sane people out of those areas (which would include pretty much all of Mo., where we both live) and moved into the homes of the wingnuts who would be relocating to their Galtian Paradise.
Well, as far as they know …
**evil grin**
I think my brain is now officially too full.
May I be excused?
Let me try another one, same source: “Steak for dinner, sometime soon”.
There are drawback to being a fount of useless pop culture knowledge, one to them being that everything runs together after a while…
We’d get all the sane people out of those areas (which would include pretty much all of Mo., where we both live) and moved into the homes of the wingnuts who would be relocating to their Galtian Paradise.
I was thinking you were a blue-stater. Never mind. Carry on!
*GASP*
OK, Pere…I….I understand…it’s from a National Lampoon spoof….no, really, it’s OK you didn’t get it…they only poked fun at one of the two biggest 1970s cultural phenomena in science fiction/fantasy….
Speaking of Texas, did it make national news that Gov. Perry haz a poutrage because FEMA turned down his request for money for flooding caused by the hurricane last month?
Are Cheetos Halal? I would love to start a rumor that Mooslems are blessing all cheetos at the factory in the name of Allah. An optimist might think it would bring muslims and reichtards closer together, but a realist would see the hillarious ragegasm of the 101st keyboard komandos over having to eat Shareetos. And the cries of “THEY ARE EATING ALL OUR FOOD!!!! MOOOOOMMMM!!!” ringing out from the basements and “think tanks” across this great nation.
America is a Christian Nation, and as such muslims do not belong here.
“As the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion…”
Pammycakes was all over this a full week ago.
BTW, if anyone is thinking about making the obvious joke regarding her call to boycott Campbells, I done already done it.
What more people will find offensive is that the person carrying out the killing must recite a Koranic verse while the lifeblood of the animal drains away
Oddly, I find this less offensive than having the process completely mechanized.
“He’s drinking all my beers, too. Bastard.”
Jeez, I don’t want to be anywhere near you when you squeeze out the little Slayer. I’m getting a Linda Blair vibe.
Third world immigration both legal and illegal, from both Latin America and the Muslim world must be curbed
America is a Christian nation, therefore less Catholic immigrants? Stevie, you’re surpassing yourself.
Link for Deranged Harpy in case anyone’s feeling the Get Out Of The Boat vibe.
I done already done it.
And martiniworthily, IMO.
Canada: we got pot, hookers and sharia. On ice.
It is up to a future Conservative Administration to turn back the clock and restore American Greatness.
In order to turn it back as far as y’all want, it would be necessary to bring back British rule. One finds it difficult to understand how such a result would serve American Greatness.
It’s too easy but I just felt like I had to edit his article.
Some MBA at Campbell’s is going to get a nice bonus for making their addressable market 2% bigger at very little cost. That’s the kind of marketing that gets a person promoted.
Also FYWP, it took me a long time to work up that comment.
no, really, it’s OK you didn’t get it…they only poked fun at one of the two biggest 1970s cultural phenomena in science fiction/fantasy….
Bah! I am not responsible for how my mind works, or not, as the case may be.
oh, Fudd. NOW I get the reference. And one of my favorite books too.
Bad Pere’s Brain! Bad! No GABA for you!
BTW, if anyone is thinking about making the obvious joke regarding her call to boycott Campbells, I done already done it.
Cream of Silicone?
Some MBA at Campbell’s is going to get a nice bonus for making their addressable market 2% bigger at very little cost. That’s the kind of marketing that gets a person promoted.
but but but the Red State Atomic Anti-Moslimnite League is going to kick their feet and hold their breath until they stop selling it! Don’t they realize the great financial power of WHOOOLVERINES!11 even though it’s the wrong country? “WHY CAN’T WE HAVE THINGS OUR WAY WHY WHY WHY BLERF FARGLE”
oh, Fudd. NOW I get the reference. And one of my favorite books too.
*sigh* Sticks Nix Hick Pix….so that’s what it’s all about!
“What more people will find offensive is that the person carrying out the killing must recite a Koranic verse while the lifeblood of the animal drains away, thus dedicating the animal and the meat that comes from it to Allah. … The prayer? “Bismillah Allah-hu-Akbar”, which means “In the name of Allah, who is the greatest.”
__________________________________________________________
So basically he is saying its like kosher soup except with more Allah and less Yahweh. Oh the humanity!
Cream of Silicone?
Doubles as caulk!
I guess I must have to get another copy.
STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN! IT’LL BE READY WHEN IT’S READY!
America is a Christian Nation
What this has to do with a Canadian company escapes me.
Also of note, these treacherous Canookian Soup Merchants of Death have a Gluten-Free label which is pandering to the dietary restrictions of at most 1% of the American population with celiac disease.
Now if I can just figure out how to dry the link between that and the lie-beral plot to take away our doughnuts and force us all to eat cardboard-like gluten-free waffles instead… Maybe I’ll send a tip to Glenn Beck and see what he can do with that blackboard of crazy of his.
Cream of Silicone?
Doubles as caulk!
Mmmmmmmmm, and the applicator is fun to use!
Are Cheetos Halal?
Happily, Yes!
dry the link? Man this Halal Soup is bad for the englishness usingitude of me.
The prayer? “Bismuhammad Ali”, which means “In the name of Ali, who is the greatest.”
Fixxxet for obscure pop culture kids get off my lawn goodness.
So Christians don’t cotton to Sharia Law, but they want to force their puritanical religious beliefs on the rest of us. Hmmm.
I guess that I can understand why they would find the prayer “In the name of Allah, who is the greatest” offensive. I mean, everybody knows that God of Abraham is a much cooler god than that Allah fellow.
The local convenience store half a block from me, and those not so close, are all managed by suspiciously swarthy Arabic types. They don’t go full Halal, I’d have to walk two blocks for that, but they don’t sell pork or bacon or anything that might contain them. I would guess that their supplier only stocks items that meet their customer’s approval (by which I mean the store owner).
As a result I can’t get pepperoni pizza there. I have to go all the way to the Super Value for that. I am being oppressed! Also, about five times a day I have a strange urge to look in the direction of Mecca.
STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN! IT’LL BE READY WHEN IT’S READY!
OHNO! THE COOK-VOICE! The Kumquat Haagendaaz is prophesied!
The next time you pop open a can of Campbell’s vegetarian soup, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that you are consuming jihadi-sanctified food.
Jeez, what will Fischer do next for an encore? Float rumors of a “Halal tax”?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kosher_tax
Annnnnnd…. speaking of pizzas. A friend of mine in the building here once made a pizza with some camel meat he got from one of those proper halal stores.
DO NOT WANT.
“Bismuhammad Ali”, which means “In the name of Ali, who is the greatest.”
The writings of the prophet Rope-A-Dope, yes.
“I say we just build them around all conservative enclaves, such as most of Texas (sans Austin)”
Austin will be the new West Berlin but will we have to airlift in Phish T-Shirts and Starbucks coffee?
Also of note, these treacherous Canookian Soup Merchants of Death have a Gluten-Free label which is pandering to the dietary restrictions of at most 1% of the American population with celiac disease.
Goddammit, DKW, I told your mom about those secret plots in CONFIDENCE!
A friend of mine in the building here once made a pizza with some camel meat he got from one of those proper halal stores.
My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.
There is a kosher pizza joint near my house. No sausage or peperoni because you can’t mix meat with cheese but otherwise not bad.
A friend of mine in the building here once made a pizza with some camel meat he got from one of those proper halal stores.
I would try that. Pizza seems a weird choice, though.
Goddammit, DKW, I told your mom about those secret plots in CONFIDENCE!
You should have known better. She’ll share with everyone!
As a Canuck, I’m AGHAST at this scary Soupgate!
Or at least I would be, if I ever ate Campbell’s soup … or actually gave a shit whether some geezer mumbled an incantation over its ingredients or not … & was also a xenophobic half-wit.
Brings to mind the orgy of baaaaaw from Michelle “Show Me Your Countertops” Malkin & her legion of losers back when Rachel Ray wore a suspicious-looking paisley scarf while shilling for Dunkin’ Donuts (& damned if it didn’t do the trick: DD pulled the ad faster than you can say “Freedom Fries”).
Bin Laden must be laughing his ass off every time he gets wind of this sort of stuff – I think the real reason the terrorists don’t do much PR is that the wingnuts in the West are so dedicated to doing it for them for free. Surely Pam Gellar now qualifies for a surprise visit from a Predator drone, given how much invaluable service she’s already provided for them.
OMG! Will no one think of the poor lentils!
There is a kosher pizza joint near my house. No sausage or peperoni because you can’t mix meat with cheese but otherwise not bad.
There’s a kosher deli near where I work…and I mean really Glatt kosher, not phony kosher like some delis I can mention…that makes French onion soup.
It’s…um…..disgusting. To circumvent kosher law, they use vegetable broth instead of beef.
You should have known better. She’ll share with everyone!
She told me I was special!
these treacherous Canookian Soup Merchants of Death have a Gluten-Free label which is pandering to the dietary restrictions of at most 1% of the American population with celiac disease.
You’re missing the huge difference, which is that avoiding gluten doesn’t involve the use of magic, while halal does.
Re: camel pizza, I’d try it once. I’d imagine it can’t be any worse than goat.
You’re missing the huge difference, which is that avoiding gluten doesn’t involve the use of magic
It would be much cooler if it did.
She told me I was special!
You must be, if you believed her!
It would be much cooler if it did.
I suppose it could, but it’s not defined by that.
She told me I was special!
You must be, if you believed her!
I thought the helmet was just some kinky thing she liked!
America is a Christian Nation, and as such muslims do not belong here.
Sadly, NO! to quote the Founding Fathers:
“As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.” Treaty of Tripoli, 1797.
Unanimously ratified by the Senate and Signed by Pres. John Adams.
…involve the use of magic, while halal does…
Which would be relevant if any of the Campbells Canada soups had any meat in them. Or if you want to warn your fellow Americans about the imminent innundation of Islamic ideology, indoctrination and indictments.
SHANIA LAW!!! ONOES!!
Speaking of quelle surprise, According to former employees of the AFA, the views represented by Fischer are not only tolerated within the organization, but any opposition to its anti-gay, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant invective—including reliance on white nativist sources in the AFA’s media programs—is dismissed. What’s worse, former employees say, anyone questioning such attitudes as un-Christian is denigrated, and in some cases forced out.
You’re missing the huge difference, which is that avoiding gluten doesn’t involve the use of magic
I’m thinking of canning some bread crumbs and grape juice and selling it as “Body and Blood of Christ Soup”.
T&U
“I would try that. Pizza seems a weird choice, though.”
It won’t kill you but trust me, camel meat does not belong on pizza. Or anywhere else as far as I can tell.
Boiled Doc Martins would be more tender and flavorful.
Which would be relevant if any of the Campbells Canada soups had any meat in them.
True, but apparently it’s a problem even if it’s certified under a system that does require that if there were meat – or like you said:
Or if you want to warn your fellow Americans about the imminent innundation of Islamic ideology, indoctrination and indictments.
avoiding gluten doesn’t involve the use of magic
It would be much cooler if it did.
Langlock!
Unanimously ratified by the Senate and Signed by Pres. John Adams.
Oy vey! Adams, was it? I thought it was Jefferson. That makes it even more valid. As I recall, Adams was no shrinking violet; he tended towards the nationalist side of the spectrum, e.g. the Alien Act. If he was okay proclaiming that America wasn’t a Christian nation and wasn’t at war with Islam, I’m pretty sure the sentiment was unanimous.
Either way, it’s always fun to see that the Founding Fathers had this war on terror stuff figured out, and once again, not on the Republicans’ side.
<i.It won’t kill you but trust me, camel meat does not belong on pizza. Or anywhere else as far as I can tell.
Boiled Doc Martins would be more tender and flavorful.
I’d think you could put it in a stew and it would be decent, if gamey. Maybe with curry? I’ve had goat that way.
“ideology, indoctrination and indictments.”
Isn’t that the GOP platform?
TAG FAIL.
The prayer? “Bismillah Allah-hu-Akbar”
To whom is the animal dedicated if someone recites “Bismillah I will not let you go”?
To whom is the animal dedicated if someone recites “Bismillah I will not let you go”?
Scaramouche Scaramouche.
Also, the idea that GF foods don’t involve magic is incompatible with this pound cake.
“I’d think you could put it in a stew and it would be decent, if gamey. Maybe with curry? I’ve had goat that way.”
Yeah, that’s probably it’s intended use anyway. Hey, I’m just trying to make fun of xenophobic idiots and at the same time indicate how save and urban I am. 😉
Langlock!
That shit’ll put Weight Watchers out of business.
Also, are you trying to say that I’m fat?!
She told me I was special!
You must be, if you believed her!
I thought the helmet was just some kinky thing she liked!
Veiled Trig reference?
or suave… that too… ::facepalm:::
And what does Allahu Jeff mean?
their coming
Meanwhile the Grammar Nazis are coming for Tintin.
Also, are you trying to say that I’m fat?!
No, but it’s about glue!
Yeah, that’s probably it’s intended use anyway. Hey, I’m just trying to make fun of xenophobic idiots and at the same time indicate how save and urban I am. 😉
Hey, you tried it, which is impressive enough.
According to former employees of the AFA, the views represented by Fischer are not only tolerated within the organization, but any opposition to its anti-gay, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant invective—including reliance on white nativist sources in the AFA’s media programs—is dismissed. What’s worse, former employees say, anyone questioning such attitudes as un-Christian is denigrated, and in some cases forced out.
Jesus puked.
re: Camel meat
Whilst perusing teh wiki page I came across this line:
WTF?!?! Raw camel liver? Really?
It won’t kill you but trust me, camel meat does not belong on pizza. Or anywhere else as far as I can tell.
Except–and you really can’t argue with this–on a camel.
It’s grotesque to make camels haul camel meat.
I’ve been to the halal butchers in Dallas – lots of skinned goats hanging up, looking naked. And the smell was incredible. Apparently goats smell as bad dead as they do alive.
Other than that, meh. Who gives a shit what mumbo-jumbo was mumbled over their food as it was being slaughtered/processed/served/whatever? If that was an issue for me, there would have been meals too numerous for me to count that I couldn’t have eated because some pious jackhole at the table insisted on making everyone listen to a “blessing.”
When Bryan Fischer isn’t running around claiming … he is … warning of the imminent takeover of the United States
Now that’s just not fair. You are deliberately ignoring the time he spends inventing imaginary (indeed, counter-factual) clauses in the work conditions of city fire-fighters, to explain why it is their christian duty not to extinguish house fires when the owner has not paid the subscription.
while the lifeblood of the animal drains away
I agree that the religious requirement to keep animals conscious when they are killed by exsanguination is a vile, barbaric practice that should be stamped out, but oops kosher.
(& damned if it didn’t do the trick: DD pulled the ad faster than you can say “Freedom Fries”)
One hopes Campbell’s has more cujones than Dunkin’ Donuts had.
Hey! That gives me a great idea!
I agree that the religious requirement to keep animals conscious when they are killed by exsanguination is a vile, barbaric practice that should be stamped out, but oops kosher.
It’s okay when it’s Judaeo-Christian™!
He’s drinking all my beers, too. Bastard.
Whoa. Go away for a while (bin bizzy) and all sorts of stuff happens (or did I miss this news a while ago?).
Either way, VS, congrats and good health.
It’s grotesque to make camels haul camel meat.
Why? I have to haul this monstrosity around wherever I go! I WISH I had someone to carry it for me!
This implies the presence of sense.
When did they start letting Muslims shop in our grocery stores anyway?
I’ll bet someone else said this already, but I can’t be arsed to read the whole thread right now.
Except, y’know, that there aren’t any non-vegetarian products on the list.
What a moron.
Is straw Halal?
The next time you pop open a can of Campbell’s vegetarian soup, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that you are consuming jihadi-sanctified food.
The fact is, vegetarians are objectively pro-Jihad as long as it’s low-fatwa.
I’m having the Kareem al Muzjroum Zhoüp.
Muslims still cut the tops off, they just wait longer.
The fact is, vegetarians are objectively pro-Jihad as long as it’s low-fatwa.
I hate you.
Muslims still cut the tops off, they just wait longer.
The halal beheading of mushrooms is a time honored tradition in some households.
I agree that the religious requirement to keep animals conscious when they are killed by exsanguination is a vile, barbaric practice that should be stamped out, but oops kosher.
So is herding them into a pen where they’re basically on top of each other and giving them feed that eats through their stomachs, but you don’t see these assholes complaining about that. I guess animal cruelty only matters when it’s done by brown people. Plus, The Invisible Hand of the Free Market and all that junk.
To whom is the animal dedicated if someone recites “Bismillah I will not let you go”?
Scaramouche Scaramouche.
So… Stewart Granger?
So… Stewart Granger?
The idle of Doctor Moreau.
He’s drinking all my beers, too. Bastard.
fella named John Corning wrote a song called “Eating For Two”. chorus goes:
You’re eating for two now,
I’m drinking for three.
worth checking out.
To whom is the animal dedicated if someone recites “Bismillah I will not let you go”?
Freddy Mercury, which would give the wingnuts an even bigger freakout.
The fact is, vegetarians are objectively pro-Jihad as long as it’s low-fatwa.
And low odium.
Also, from the TPM link,
Seriously? Yes, you stupid fuckwit. You should shun anything that might possibly be certifiably Halal. Only eat things that would make an Ayatollah cringe. Pork cracklins and blood pudding for all! Not a single grain or vegetable for anyone! USA! USA!
I know that we’re never going to be able to wash the stupid out of our country entirely, but it would be nice to scrape off the chunkier bits.
I know that we’re never going to be able to wash the stupid out of our country entirely, but it would be nice to scrape off the chunkier bits.
I hate you too.
I have to haul this monstrosity around wherever I go! I WISH I had someone to carry it for me!
Y’know, everything isn’t about your humpback.
“Secretly Halal?
Damn, that’s just beautiful.
“You’re soaking in it!”
Y’know, everything isn’t about your humpback.
There’s the pot calling the kettle “orca”…
“Secretly Halal?
Damn, that’s just beautiful.
“You’re soaking in it!”
“We’ve secretly replaced their pork rinds with halal sunflower chips. Let’s watch….”
Only eat things that would make an Ayatollah cringe.
And be falling-down drunk continuously. They hate that.
Scaramouche Scaramouche.
OT: Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me!
“Are their U.S. products secretly halal?”
Sure. Naturally they will ensure that their products meet some superstitious criteria to make them acceptable to a particular market, and then not tell the potential customers.
How do we know that they are not secretly blessed by the Pope, also too?
Nobody tell them that McDonalds, Pizza hut and KFC are Halal in Sri Lanka (and I’d suppose a few other places), or that Mickey-Ds sells Halal McNuggets in Dearborn.
And be falling-down drunk continuously. They hate that.
Totally. I hear the next fatwa will be against heart disease. Should absolutely stop any exercise and no more blood pressure screenings.
I know that we’re never going to be able to wash the stupid out of our country entirely, but it would be nice to scrape off the chunkier bits.
I bow to your linguistic superiority.
Stolen. *yoink*
Nobody tell them that McDonalds, Pizza hut and KFC are Halal in Sri Lanka (and I’d suppose a few other places), or that Mickey-Ds sells Halal McNuggets in Dearborn.
*GASP*
And in England!
Can you buy a bowel, Pat?
And in England!
Just more evidence of the Dhimmitude of Europe.
And in England!
Jesus Fucking Christ. Why the fuck would you care if the meat was halal or not if you weren’t Muslim?
These people are fucking insane. I wonder what they would do if they knew that anything that’s kosher is halal, as well.
Jesus Fucking Christ. Why the fuck would you care if the meat was halal or not if you weren’t Muslim?
Because Islamic cooties!
Also, these are the same douchebags who get all shitty and “ZOMGOPPRESSION” when people push for stricter food labeling laws so those of us with LEGITIMATE food issues don’t have to spend all their time looking at labels.
Take a look at the comment right under Pat’s column. It’s good.
Take a look at the comment right under Pat’s column. It’s good.
Many points off for comment #3, however.
Take a look at the comment right under Pat’s column. It’s good.
The nym is a juicy, ripe mango in and of itself.
Also, “cool beans”? What? I haven’t heard anyone say that in this century.
And in England!
Jesus Fucking Christ. Why the fuck would you care if the meat was halal or not if you weren’t Muslim?
These are the same people who worry about Satanic imagery on Procter & Gamble packaging.
Because Islamic cooties!
I mean, seriously! Those inscrutable
JapsIslamists will go to any length tofluoridate our waterfoul our precious bodily fluidspoison us and infect us with their halal-breeding germs!Because Islamic cooties!
I ate a lot of halal food cooked by a Muslim when I was in high school…maybe that explains this weird rash…
Looch, athankee! (Fellow S,Ners, sorry the congrats are still dribbling in. I’m sure you’re all pretty bored with the news by now.)
zombie, I’m pretty sure that guy is the best person in the world. I love this song title:
Wouldn’t You Like To Be An Alcoholic?
To which, I’d “yes.” Very much. But I can’t right now.
AOLMUSCLEGRANDMA
El Cid? Is that you?
I’m sure you’re all pretty bored with the news by now
Who are you, and what did you do with VS?
These are the same people who worry about Satanic imagery on Procter & Gamble packaging.
I *knew* my mascara was possessed!
Who are you, and what did you do with VS?
A tiny parasite has taken over her body. She will never be the same.
I’m sure you’re all pretty bored with the news by now.
Jeebus, I turn my back on you for one minute and you go and get yourself knocked up! Kids these days!
(congrats)
Jeebus, I turn my back on you for one minute and you go and get yourself knocked up! Kids these days!
A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.
so those of us with LEGITIMATE food issues don’t have to spend all their time looking at labels
Screw GMO food and high-fructose corn syrup!
Did someone say black magic words over my schnackies!?!?
Did someone say black magic words over my schnackies!?!?
Let us prey: Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub…ALLAHU AKBAR!
I say we just build them around all conservative enclaves, such as most of Texas (sans Austin), South Carolina, Kansas, and other homes of numbnuttery and dumbfuckery. It needs to be very, very sturdy and about 50? or so tall …
Won’t stop airplanes!
Screw GMO food and high-fructose corn syrup!
Did someone say black magic words over my schnackies!?!?
Seriously. If you’re eating at McDonald’s, some bearded dude saying some crap over your food should really be the least of your worries.
Won’t stop airplanes!
No-floy zone.
Hey, it kept Iraq bottled up for decades!
Seriously. If you’re eating at McDonald’s, some bearded dude saying some crap over your food should really be the least of your worries.
You’ve been to the MickieDs by Tompkins Square Park, I see.
No floy-floy zone?
And actually, shit can be considered halal if it’s slaughtered properly by anyone in the Abrahamic religions. But, you know, scary Arabic words are scary.
No floy-floy zone?
They might have flat feet…
shit can be considered halal if it’s slaughtered properly by anyone in the Abrahamic religions.
*stroking chin*
So if I choke a chicken….
No floy-floy zone?
*GASP*
Unless…you were going Kerouac on us!
Pam Geller has her kosher food blessed by European Nazis. Her chutzpah is full of schadenfreude.
Exsanguination. Actor212 is doin it rong.
Exsanguination. Actor212 is doin it rong.
Forgive me. I’m not circumcised.
Athankee, WC.
Exsanguination. Actor212 is doin it rong.
He appears to be fairly sanguine to me.
some bearded dude saying some crap over your food
I used to get that at White Castle.
(never mind halal, I just want to know what animal it was!)
Unless…you were going Kerouac on us!
Ugh, I hope not. I’d rather not stage an intervention.
Bryan Fischer, soup Nazi.
Actually, it’s comment 2 that’s telling.
Shorter:
Well, that’s just fine for liberals, but no conflict of interest should ever get between a Conservative and the voting booth.
Bryan Fischer, soup Nazi.
What’s Arabic for “NO SOUP FOR YOU”?
shit can be considered halal if it’s slaughtered properly by anyone in the Abrahamic religions.
*stroking chin*
So if I choke a chicken….
—————————————————————————————————-
Not if your chicken met a moile because that would be mashugana.
FYI, I’m not Jewish but I did eat a Lender’s bagel with cream cheese a little while ago. Damn creeping Judeofascism contaminating my precious bodily fluids.
South Ca’lina GOP stays classy
“Unless…you were going Kerouac on us!”
——————————————————————————
I hate Kerouac. Why should I have to listen to all those people who can’t carry a tune when I’m just trying to enjoy my beer?
That was me as anonymous
Why should I have to listen to all those people who can’t carry a tune when I’m just trying to enjoy my beer?
Dumbass. That’s the wrong word. They’re talking about that syrup that makes you puke.
I hate Kerouac. Why should I have to listen to all those people who can’t carry a tune when I’m just trying to enjoy my beer?
Silly mozart! A kerouac is what you wear in a snowstorm.
What’s Arabic for “NO SOUP FOR YOU”?</I.
?? ????? ??
I thought Stalin oppressed the Kerouacs.
Grrrrrrrr, Tag Fail AND stupid Unicode…
A kerouac is what you wear in a snowstorm.
I thought it was a kind of deer that lived up in the tundra.
I thought Stalin oppressed the Kerouacs.
That’s right! He made them eat wheat gluten until they died.
I thought Stalin oppressed the Kerouacs.
You’re thinking of the county in Wisconsin just north of Milwaukee.
A kerouac is the radar plane the US deployed during the Gulf Wars.
A kerouac is what you wear in a snowstorm.
I thought it was a kind of deer that lived up in the tundra.
You may be right. All I know is, I think of Kerouac, I think of Palin.
Or maybe Kerouac is that town in New Jersey…you know the one Billy Joel sang about: “Who needs a house out in Kerouac? Is that all you get for your money?”
Are Cheetos Halal?
Sadly, no, at least according to that forum. Whatever fraction of actual cheese that shows up in the product seems to use an animal-based rennet and that rennet is not certified halal as it may well be pork-based.
The weird part was, that was the first result in a Google search for “kosher cheetos”.
I wonder if the Campbell’s vegetarian soups will be marked both halal and kosher? (To the best of my knowledge, vegetarian stuff should be kosher unless it uses a non-kosher dairy source in it, or too many insect parts.)
I thought Kerouac was a university with a well-known polling institute.
I thought Kerouac was a university with a well-known polling institute.
That’s the sound a baseball makes when a home run is hit.
To the best of my knowledge, vegetarian stuff should be kosher unless it uses a non-kosher dairy source in it, or too many insect parts.)
————————————————————————————————-
How many is too many?
Mea culpa– I missed Nick Saban’s post. That’s interesting about the rennet discussion.
When I took some cheesemaking classes the teacher used microbial rennet, but that was more an ethical issue than a kosher/halal one.
microbial rennet
BAND NAME!
How many (insect parts) is too many?
The answers.com area where I was checking what “pareve” was (has neither milk nor meat, so should be kosher and good with anything) didn’t specify. They don’t seem to have a problem with FDA standards to the best of my knowledge, but it may mean checking to be sure the apples at the farmers’ market didn’t miss a worm.
Anyway, the halal vegetarian soups *should* also be pareve, except maybe for the cream of mushroom (though it could be certified kosher dairy). Would it makes wingnuts’ heads explode if it was stamped for both?
Getting out of the boat. If I’m not back soon, call the proper authorities.
Getting out of the boat. If I’m not back soon, call the proper authorities.
Better arm yourself
*tossing mozart my kerouac*
Would it makes wingnuts’ heads explode if it was stamped for both?
______________________________________________
Certainly one Atlas will be Jugged
Sadly, no, at least according to that forum. Whatever fraction of actual cheese that shows up in the product seems to use an animal-based rennet and that rennet is not certified halal as it may well be pork-based.
That’s weird. I thought all rennet was from little baby cow’s tummies.
That’s weird. I thought all rennet was from little baby cow’s tummies.
Rennet again, Sam
A swine based rennet would be news to me. The things you learn on the intartoobz.
Rennet again, Sam
Let me revise: all rennet produced from animal sources.
I about drove myself crazy when I was a vegetarian because I wouldn’t eat cheese from non-vegetarian sources. Honestly, I just gave up, because who the fuck can tell?
I suppose if it truly worries you you could go vegan.
Alas, I like meat and cheese a lot– too much, if anything.
I wonder if there was ever sheep (or rather lamb) based rennet, for the Hindus?
How is this different from those anti-Semitic nutcases who think the kosher certification seal on some food labeling constitutes a “Jewish tax on food”?
How is this different from those anti-Semitic nutcases who think the kosher certification seal on some food labeling constitutes a “Jewish tax on food”?
Did you want the long answer?
Cuz the short answer is “shut up, that’s why”…
What gets me is the obsession with hygiene when they bake their bread over burning shit.
The long answer is, it doesn’t. In fact, it unites Jew and Muslim in Canada.
“where grocers have gone whole-hog – pardon the expression -”
[HaHaHaHa conservative dude shaw is funneee!]]
“for 10 years in 580 outlets across the fruited U.K. plan.”
[Fookin English gay agenda]
“Animal rights groups are ticked, since halal certification means the animal had its throat cut while it was still conscious.”
[Didn’t Sister Palin give a speech last year where a guy behind her was shovinglive turkey heads down a meat grinder or am I mistaken?]
[and from the comments . . .]
To slaughter an animal while it is concious is barbaric and cruel. “Those who stand for nothing will fall for anything”…Christians had better start standing for something.”
Does the American meat industry kill their animals by lethal injection now? Can anyone help me out hear?
Human shit. No shit.
To slaughter an animal while it is concious is barbaric and cruel. “Those who stand for nothing will fall for anything”…Christians had better start standing for something.”
Does the American meat industry kill their animals by lethal injection now? Can anyone help me out hear?
Nope. Still effectively shoot the damn animal. Sometimes it takes five or six bolts to the skull to kill a chicken. A sliced throat is first time, everytime.
Does the American meat industry kill their animals by lethal injection now?
By the way, great concept. Let’s try it in the heartland first. T&U? I suggest turning vegan again.
That’s the Yahweh mandated recipe anyway. I asked the Ezekial bread makers if they adhered strictly to the instructions butthey have not replied to my inquiry.
Does the American meat industry kill their animals by lethal injection now?
By the way, great concept. Let’s try it in the heartland first. T&U? I suggest turning vegan again.
Oh boy! I love air and rice!
Does the American meat industry kill their animals by lethal injection now?
Gosh, I can’t see anything wrong in that plan…
Also, they do stun animals before slaughter in some processing plants. Not that that always works.
“Oh boy! I love air and rice!”
I used to call them styrofoam cakes back in college.
Also, they do stun animals before slaughter in some processing plants. Not that that always works.
Actually, let me revise that. *Technically* every animal is supposed to be stunned before slaughter, but the USDA doesn’t enforce that.
I used to call them styrofoam cakes back in college.
They’re pretty good with sunflower butter and jam.
Kosher laws also demand that the animal be conscious when slaughtered. I’ve seen it with chickens. One guy grips the chicken and holds it before the guy with a knife, who slices the throat.
I wonder what those guys say when they’re asked at parties what they do.
*Technically* every animal is supposed to be stunned before slaughter, but the USDA doesn’t enforce that.
They can’t even reliably keep poop out of the ground beef.
Ah, the marvels of less gummint regyoolatium!
I wonder what those guys say when they’re asked at parties what they do.
I know how it SHOULD go.
*hhhhAAAAgh* *spit* “I kill chickens, ma’am.”
Shorter Bryan Fischer : Sharia Law NO! Christian Theocracy YES!
BTW, has anyone commented yet on Mr. Fischer’s resemblance to Colonel Sanders?
They can’t even reliably keep poop out of the ground beef.
Well, it can happen when you’re slaughtering one animal conscientiously, much less, you know, thousands a day.
Does the American meat industry kill their animals by lethal injection now?
Gosh, I can’t see anything wrong in that plan…
____________________________________________
Lethal injections to good for them, a bullet to the head is too quick, fry the bastards I say or better yet bring back hanging. Uhm, we are talking about capital punishment right?
Uhm, we are talking about capital punishment right?
Maybe in Texas…
ARGH BLART FART ACTIVIST JUDGES HATE AMERICA right on cue…
Another wrinkle to the Helen Thomas story
By Jim Treacher
Oh, ha ha.
ARGH BLART FART ACTIVIST JUDGES HATE AMERICA right on cue…
Oh, for God’s sake. “Decided by Congress” my ass. Obama is the president, not head of the majority coalition in Parliament. How can he possibly still believe by now that Congress will ever act in good faith?
Lets play Poe or not Poe. danananana duntdenana nanana
[From the comments]
“Perhaps all of us Christians should say Christian prayers over all the meat in the case while we are trying to make our selections. That way, this should counter act any tainting of the meat due to Islam torture that may have been inflicted upon the poor animals and any sneaky/unwanted Islam blessing that may have been said over the processing. If they can pray over our meat/food, so can we. I will not be buying any more Campbell products.”
I’m gonna go with Poe Alex. (gocart crosses fingers) I’m 60/40 on this.
Nope. Still effectively shoot the damn animal. Sometimes it takes five or six bolts to the skull to kill a chicken.
No country for old poultry, that’s for sure.
If they can pray over our meat/food, so can we.
Oh, good, next time I see some idjit mumbling to themselves over the meat counter I know what’s going on.
*Technically* every animal is supposed to be stunned before slaughter,
As an animal, I was pretty stunned the first time I visited a boucherie.
I was thinking satire until I got to the boycott part. I’m going with Xianist.
AA dun broke the thread!
These people are fucking insane. Seriously. It hurts my head. Why do you give a shit if somebody said something over the body of the animal you’re about to eat if you don’t believe in what they said? If somebody told my fortune using bacon, I will still eat that shit.
OH NOES.
Just strain the soup though bacon and quite yet bitchin!
I was thinking satire until I got to the boycott part. I’m going with Xianist.
But the boycott part makes it better satire.
Then again, there are more insane people in this country than there are great satirists so . . . still 60/40.
“Why do you give a shit if somebody said something over the body of the animal you’re about to eat if you don’t believe in what they said?”
[Because they beleive in all religions. The other ones are satanic. Sad but true.]
“If somebody told my fortune using bacon, I will still eat that shit”
[Maybe if Campbells would get Kevin Bacon to do the halal, everyone will be happy. I’m trying to work out a compromise here people.]looking .
Back in 2001, I worked in an industrial kitchen, preparing meals on wheels. The local community had a large, aging Muslim population that needed to be serviced. Management rationally decided that rather than preparing a separate halal menu, we’d just make every meal halal–after all, no one can tell the difference between islamofascist spaghetti bolognese and the jesus kind, right?
The catholic church found out and raised a stink. Surprisingly and happily, management told them to go jump.
Honestly, I just gave up, because who the fuck can tell?
Well, most labels will tell you if it’s non-animal rennet. If it just says rennet, it’s usually animal. This includes most European cheese, unfortunately.
And I agree with the “Who the fuck cares” sentiment. Hell, Christians think Muslims pray to a false god, not a separate but equal one, so those prayers are just floating away into the Universe, unheard, not polluting the meat with blasphemenes. And they can STFU with their “oh it’s so cruel” hand-wringing, these folks don’t give a shit about the conditions in which animals are kept or how they’re killed.
Let’s play poe or not poe!
How do we save the world? Lasers baby, frickin’ lasers!!
Paneer is made without rennet. You don’t need rennet to make cheese; you just need it to make cheese that tastes good.
If Islam is a false religion, why would you care that they did crazy mumbo-jumbo to your food? If Mohammed is a false prophet, shouldn’t the blessing have no effect? Like, if the food said it was blessed by Demeter or whatever, would they care? I really don’t think so.
This fucking bullshit only makes sense at a theological level if they believe that the Christian god and the Islamic god are both real but different entities — and the front line of the battle between them is the motherfucking soup aisle.
Mom!!!
“AA dun broke the thread!”
Word Press is my higher power.
oh, I see the point I just made was made more coherently and funnier by the last ~10 other people in a row. Better stick with football coachin’ I guess.
Paneer – NOM NOM
“blasphemenes”
Ooh. Band name. Or maybe “Blasphemones” or Blasphonemes.
Hmmm…
“and the front line of the battle between them is the motherfucking soup aisle”
(insert Star Trek: TOS fight music)
FYWP. I put a <hr> in there to separate the quote from the comment. Why do you hate America?
Blasphememes.
Epic.
Even more so.
How’s about double tag closures?
Nope. Dammit Glarg.
(insert Star Trek: TOS fight music)
20 quatloos on Actor!
“This fucking bullshit only makes sense at a theological level if they believe that the Christian god and the Islamic god are both real but different entities — and the front line of the battle between them is the motherfucking soup aisle.”
Never said it wasn’t stupid but it is my impression that that is what the talibanjicles believe. U.F.O.’s are manifistations of demons. Tarot cards, Wicca or Buhdism will summon satan and so on. I heard that from Pat Robertson hisself.
Speaking of witch, Christine O’Donnell will be debating Mike Castle live on CSpan at 7:30 if you can stand it.
The font has gone Sharia! Damn you Cambell Soup.
Yeah. They also believe that practicing yoga is dangerous to your soul and that you can pray away the gay.
What I’m sayin’ is you can’t really count on their deep understanding of theological issues.
Paneer is made without rennet. You don’t need rennet to make cheese; you just need it to make cheese that tastes good.
Cream cheese is apparently also made without rennet, and is delicious (not to mention a component of many lovely desserts).
just for kicks and grins
I think that’s how tintin said not to do it…
There was a hysterical in all senses of the word rant a couple years back I saw on teevee wherein some Xianist was yelling at people not to have aXmas tree and so on because “PEOPLE DONT KNOW THOSE ARE PAGAN SYMBOLS!!!” Best lulz ever.
0h FY PM. You bastard.
Yesssss! Now watch this…
Bryan Fischer man-crushes on Carl Paladino:
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101012
It’s possible that I’m the only one left in this crew that regularly kills farm animals myself. I like to think that I am halal despite not mumbling gawd bothering words when I kill chickens or pigs or beef critters because I want my meat without blood. I’ve killed critters both ways and halal/kosher whatever is better because you want your meat bled out. All you city folk that have it done by other (poorer, swarthier)people are just kidding yo’selves. Eating meat means killing.
Can you do underlines here?
Okay. Using Safari at the moment which is vulnerable to the S,N! Tag fail plague so I’ll be nice. Once I get back home on Opera which is immune I’ll make it really ugly.
This’ll fix it.OK, I was restraining myself, but Nymstradamus has given me an opening.
Total Godwin.
Eating meat means killing.
So it does, and I very much respect people who are willing to kill the animals themselves. I’m not willing to, and that’s a good part of why I’m vegetarian.
Not farm animals, there’s no sport in that. Killing should be fun, not work.
NB: I eats wut I kilz
Apologies to anyone who may have pondered this before, but why does Bryan Fischer hate the free market?
And wuzzup with WordPress?
S McG, you little rascal. I was being nice – S MCG IS A MEANIE!
Vandals!
You did that? I did that too!
(In context the verse is an allegory for the privation facing Israel in the Babylonian siege and captivity, but whatever it is TOTALLY a COMPLETE PROTEIN RECIPE straight from Old Tetragrammaton’s Country Kitchen.
Makes pretty good peanut butter toast, though.)
Oh, and required reading on the halal soup.
Also.It is times like this that I lament WP not supporting ye olde blinky tag. Rats.
The blink tag would be awesome.
Now that’s interesting! Does that break bold forever?
Also Djur – of course you did. did you get a reply?
Terrific. Tagergotterung.
And it just keeps getting better.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Wonder what a link fail would do.
Did any of you little pricks* break
Testing…?
I’ve killed critters both ways and halal/kosher whatever is better because you want your meat bled out.
NOO!!! Ya gotta save the blood- black pudding is perhaps the most delicious of all meat by-products.
Sadly, no, at least according to that forum. Whatever fraction of actual cheese that shows up in the product seems to use an animal-based rennet and that rennet is not certified halal as it may well be pork-based.
I read the entire article that Actor linked. It’s very well considered and thoroughly covers all of the possible opinions and sources that could whey in (heh) on whether cheese is unclean or not; it is a nice reminder of why all ancient religions, as practiced by fundamentalists, are FUCKING ABSURD!!!
Even if god divinely inspired all of the writers and scholars of those early times, is it really that hard to believe maybe the rules laid down so wandering tribes or people living in crowded unsanitary cities wouldn’t poison themselves might need a little revision to reflect changes in animal husbandry, food storage, refridgeration, and medicine?!?!
OK, so my list of what a religion needs for me to be join them is now:
a) Accepts men and women to the highest levels of leadership
b) Encourages rational thought and doesn’t oppose facts when they conflict with stories.
c) has to consider the fate of this world at least as important as the afterlife
d) Whatever religious texts are followed have some ability to be updated or added onto; if your bible is closed to addition that means god isn’t talking to you anymore, so you you must have pissed your sky faerie off and I dont need any of that.
e) religious leaders must be allowed to experience all of what normal humans do, including love, sex, marriage and children.
f)
f) there is no rule f
I fucking hate all of you.
No, I never did. That was a while ago, when they had just a couple kinds of bread in the fridge case. They’re a much bigger concern now. Now they’ve got flatbreads and bagels and crackers and tampons and stuff, so I bet if I wrote them again they’d have some “Our bakery is clean and has only .001% rat shit residue in the loaf-shaping machine as of the last inspection, thanks for writing, here’s a coupon” form letter.
Sadly, halal and kosher slaughtering practices require the blood to be spilled on the ground, not into any kind of bowl or vat. This is why there are no teetotaling vampires in the Middle East.
Just because you get the blood out of the meat does not mean that you throw it away. I like blood pudding as much as the next (urban sophisticate hasn’t kilt anything in who knows how long) guy.
Farking tags how do they work?
Zeh blood ist zeh LIFE!
I like blood pudding as much as the next (urban sophisticate hasn’t kilt anything in who knows how long) guy.
Do you make your own? AFAF
The deer has sometimes bled out by the time you get to it but there’s almost always enough to ritually drink a cup of it before you drag the field dressed carcass out.
Oh YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
~
How cute – even the “Submit Comment” button has a line through it.
Oh, and required reading on the halal soup.
Which leads to:
Don’t give them your address! The soup people will send a terrorist to your house and turn it into a mosk!
That Wonkette soup story is a work of art. I about hurled for laughing.
#
Do you make your own? AFAF
#
Yes. And it’s good.
Re: deer blood. Tasty little fallow does have delicious blood. Cranky old bucks have blood so full of musk and hormones you can’t wash it off for weeks. Just so y’all know.
“Cranky old bucks have blood so full of musk and hormones you can’t wash it off for weeks. ”
Wait, are we talking about Teabaggers?
Check out this awesomely stupid anti-Obama billboard in Colorado.
Yay! No lines or italics! Thank you somebody!
This story is just preposterous. There’s no reason to boycott Campbell’s because of the halal soups. It makes much more sense to boycott them because of what they did at Glencoe.
But Pam Gellar doesn’t want you to boycott Campbell’s because of Glencoe, does she? And who died at Glencoe? MacDonalds, that’s who! Pam Gellar obviously hates McDonald’s, which means she hates America. Why doesn’t the MSM ask why Pam Gellar hates America?
Hm. WordPress seems to be eating my link. There’s an awesomely stupid anti-Obama billboard out in Colorado:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/colorado-billboard-animates-every-attack-ever-leveled-at-obama
Ah, that did it. I’d’ve inlined the image if I could have.
Goddamit, people! Anyone who purposefully puts in broken tags again will be banned. I’m looking at you at S McG and Pupeniue Maximus. Rather than edit the offending posts to fix the tags, I’ve just deleted them. You know I have a job and I don’t have the time to come in an clean up after y’all and write posts and figure out how to fix this in WP. 🙁
Y’all do not want to make Tintin angry. You think the Hulk got ugly.
Personally, I like to knock out a doe with tranquilizers, tie it to a tree, and stab it in the throat. As the blood spurts out and drenches me from head to toe, I close my eyes and imagine that it is the fetid life fluid of Fedzilla.
Wango tango, also.
Sasquatch is Campbell’s !!!!
Don’t give them your address! The soup people will send a terrorist to your house and turn it into a mosk!
I hear that Campbell’s is planning on making halal mosk ox soup.
Thank you, Tintin.
*tugs at forelock*
It can’t be very rewarding to have to come in here and clean up after a bunch of deer slaughtering, blood pudding eating, opinionated leftards. Thanks Tintin.
Taurobolium:
NOM NOM NOM
For your convenience:
http://www.bonaventure.net/products/feed_additives/spray_dried_haemoglobin.htm
Though if you run low on ingredients while mixing up a batch of pizza dough, and use this stuff to eke out the flour, and the family find out, they are not well pleased. Or so I hear.
Also relevant.
<i.and receives their salutations and reverence.
Then charges them 2 & 6 for the full Irish breakfast.
I closed that farking tag, I did.
It can’t be very rewarding to have to come in here and clean up after a bunch of deer slaughtering, blood pudding eating, opinionated leftards.
Artist’s impression.
Guys, help. Everyone at Wonkette is talking about how nice Christine O’Donnell’s ass is and I’m at work and can’t look it up. Please tell me that this is true so I will not be required to become a tea bag patriot.
Hey! Alkonholics Anonymous started it! I’m sorry.
* extends lower lip, dejectedly scuffs one foot on ground… *
Please tell me that this is true so I will not be required to become a tea bag patriot.
Link?
Someone’s slipped something into the water over there, because nearly every thread has smelled like hand lotion and fresh spooge for the last couple of weeks.
Uh, Djur? I’d give you hand if I could but I wouldn’t be much help, sorry.
I can see neither O’Donnell’s booty or Russia from where I sit. No TV.
One comment to add to the above mess about the stupid people;
FINE!!! Wage your war on Islam in every place from the soup aisle to the YMCA, you fucking bastards, but at least have the honesty to also wage it at Newscorp! Where the second biggest shareholder is goddamn Saudi royalty, for frak’s sake!!!
The prayer? “Bismillah Allah-hu-Akbar”
I thought it was “Pepto-Bismillah…”
Oh, and Lurking Canadian’s take on Campbells and MacDonalds at Glencoe is brilliant! Too bad we can’t paste photos into comments, I’ve got a great one of Glencoe which is one of the most romantic, gorgeous spots on the planet….
My encounter with the Wildebeest:
Our office/warehouse is located next to a business that does granite countertops. This business is owned by some serious redneck motherfuckers – three hugely fat and frizzy haired women amongst them.
So, anyway, ever since we’ve moved in, they’ve made it a point of parking RIGHT THE FUCK IN FRONT of our office, every fucking day, sometimes even blocking our warehouse door. Additionally, every day, several times per day, huge fucking trucks back into the parking lot and block us in as they unload raw slabs of stone. That’s annoying, but I understand it’s a part of their business, so I can deal with it. But the purposeful hogging of our parking – nope. I told the landlord several weeks ago to tell them that they were welcome to start paying part of our rent if they wanted to continue to monopolize our parking; since the landlord is a spineless wimp,when Big Momma Wildebeest replied that “they need to come talk to ME,” he let it go.
So anyway, I come in yesterday, and one of the fat bitches has angled her big-ass truck so it’s taking up not one, but TWO of our spaces. That was the final straw. I went out and posted ‘Reserved Parking’ signs in front of each of the spaces in front of the office. That worked – for one day. Today, one of the owners pulls in to the space right by our door – even though there was an empty space right next to THEIR door. Just doing it to be a dick. So I waited a few minutes, and then thought, fuck it, if I let it slide, they’ll just continue to be dicks. So I step outside and Wildebeest daughter is standing there by their door. She says, “what do you need?” I say, “I need them to move this truck.” She opens the door where apparently Mama Wildebeest has been watching and tells her, and here comes Mama boiling out the door shouting. “Those AREN’T YOUR SPACES! We all get 10 and they can be anywhere in the lot!” I say, calmly, “well, you have more than 10 people working for you, and you have all this crap in the spaces in front of your office, so you’re taking up more like 15 of them. And according to our lease these ARE our parking spaces.” She then says, “Well, I’VE seen YOUR red car parked in THAT SPACE RIGHT THERE (motioning to the one by their door) 5 TIMES!” I say, “oh, 5 whole times in 10 weeks? So you’re keeping score? I’ve parked there when you and your employees parked in every one of OUR spaces. If you’re keeping such a close count, I’m sure you KNOW that you take up two or three of OUR spaces EVERY FRICKIN DAY, and sometimes ALL of them, including the space in front of our warehouse door. So what your saying is what’s yours is yours, and what’s mine is yours too?” She starts yelling about customers should be able to park there, blah blah blah; I calmly reply that I have no problem with their customers parking there if there’s an empty space; and if she’s concerned about her customers being able to park, she sure as hell shouldn’t be making sure there are no spaces available because she and her employees are parked in them already. Finally she bellows out her “Oh SNAP” final word, saying “We’ll park wherever the hell we feel like parking!” as she’s walking back to their office. I’m at my office door, so I just smirk and say, again calmly, “Ok, then next time I won’t bother with a warning before I call the tow truck,” and walk into my office as I hear her erupt into more shouting. I’m pretty sure she was probably threatening to “kick (my) ass” or something equally imaginative and prosaic but didn’t bother to try to hear what it was; at the time I’m just thinking, “go ahead, you fat fucking redneck bitch, FOLLOW ME into MY office so I can call the cops.” Well, she restrained herself. But from my conversation with the landlord this afternoon, she repeated those types of threats, “if that bitch has me towed I’ll kick her ass from her office all the way down to yours! My husband will bail me out!” I said, well, you might want to remind her that when that’s all said and done, I’ll be the proud owner of her business.
Anyway, just after the altercation, the truck magically got moved. And the landlord laid down the law to her. He told me that the guys from the office down at the end, who have also been abused by these folks, related to him the whole incident, that I was calm and polite and that she was a shreiking harpy. So I guess the upshot is, they won’t be parking there any more. And also, if they do, they’ll be getting towed, I’ll be getting my ass kicked, she’ll be getting bailed out, and I’ll be suing her out of business.
All in all, a satisfactory conflict resolution.
Oh yeah, I forgot: when she spouted that line about “you shouldn’t go to the landlord, you should come talk to ME,” I said, “what would be the point? You’re not reasonable. If you were, you would realize how rude it is to assume I shouldn’t be able to park in the spaces I’ve paid for.”
I’m sure it didn’t help.
The next time you pop open a can of Campbell’s vegetarian soup, you’ll have the comfort of knowing that you are consuming jihadi-sanctified food. … What more people will find offensive is that the person carrying out the killing must recite a Koranic verse while the lifeblood of the animal drains away,
OK, am I too late to the party to express my OUTRAGE and complete solidarity with Bryan Fisher to hear that a Koranic verse was recited while the meat in my Campbell’s vegetarian soup was killed?
And also, if they do, they’ll be getting towed, I’ll be getting my ass kicked, she’ll be getting bailed out, and I’ll be suing her out of business.
And thus was the Empire forged.
Drinking alcohol is forbidden in Islam, therefore anyone who does not drink alcohol is furthering the advancement of the worldwide Muslim caliphate.
that bitch has me towed I’ll kick her ass from her office all the way down to yours! My husband will bail me out!
Rugged individualism at its finest.
Jennifer –
Pay someone fast on his feet – I’m thinking circa 17 years old – to slap an Obama ’12 bumper-sticker on her truck.
If, you know, you want to escalate just for the hell of it.
Seriously, I think the fact that I neither started shouting back nor backed off at all was something she didn’t bargain for. Wildebeest women count on their generally terrifying looks and loud bellowing voices to cow other people, and when that doesn’t work, to incite them. They don’t know what to do when someone calmly stands their ground.
To get an idea of what this woman looks like, imagine the woman from She-Devil. The original BBC version, not the crappy Roseann Barr re-make.
Saying calmly “I’ve been threatened by people who are actually frightening, so why would I care about a threat from you?” also works. For escalation, I mean.
Pay someone fast on his feet – I’m thinking circa 17 years old – to slap an Obama ’12 bumper-sticker on her truck.
LOL.
I’m 22, and FTR, if I were in Arkansas, I’d do it for free.
Bryan Fischer man-crushes on Carl Paladino:
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101012
Heh heh, something you want to tell us Brian Fischer?
DAILY NEWS: Paladino owned two gay bars
http://www.fox23news.com/mostpopular/story/DAILY-NEWS-Paladino-owned-two-gay-bars/XHfqzChyKUSBm5-0DKZS5A.cspx
DAILY NEWS: Paladino owned two gay bars
The Abattoir of Babylon.
The Abattoir of Babylon.
That is some fancy goddamned concrete work.
DAILY NEWS: Paladino owned two gay bars
AHEM.
Me and Gordon’s gin are doing our part for Christendom!
Beaten to the penis.
DAILY NEWS: Paladino owned two gay bars
AHEM.
Pere Ubu said,
October 13, 2010 at 18:43
Speaking of sausage…
_________________________________________
Sorry Pere, I thought it was a link to a knockwurst recipe and I didn’t click the link.
The Lords Bacon Resistance Army continues to stand up against the spread of Sha-na-na rule in the USA.
At least we can rule out Jonah, because he’d never leave a good slice of bacon behind.
Does Brian Fischer have a gay vampire fetish?
Cause . . .
“The fact that homosexual activists will now bare their fangs, veritably dripping saliva as they go for Paladino’s carotid artery, and will do so with the full-throated blessing of the out-of-the-mainstream media, only illustrates the enormously dangerous clout these purveyors of perversity have been given in our culture.”
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/fischer/101012
That sentence should win a prize for something but I’m not sure what that something is.
What’s a Pig Chump?
“The Lords Bacon Resistance Army continues to stand up against the spread of Sha-na-na rule in the USA.”
The jokes on them because it was Halal bacon.
In September, packages containing harassing letters and bacon were sent to four mosques
Okay, let’s just put a fucking tent up over this damn state and start charging admission. Only a thin dollar, ladies and gentlemen, this way to the world’s biggest freak show.
Christ, move Bachmann and O’Donnell down here and you’d make millions.
Nobody ever mails me bacon. [sob]
Nobody ever mails me bacon. [sob]
Me neither. They tried to send me soy protein powder but I thought it was anthrax, or maybe the other way around.
Nobody ever pays me in gum (sob)
@Jennifer
Granite countertops? Why am I not surprised that a person like that just might be
[cue dramatic music]
GIVING HER CUSTOMERS CANCER!
(informative link below)
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/07/25/earlyshow/health/main4292754.shtml
1. Mysticdog is quite right; I read that article about Cheetos: Halal or haram? and all I could think was, how crazy is it that there are layers upon layers of Muslim scholars to parse the text and argue and try to figure out if they can eat fucking cheese?? I’ll note that the writer specifically said that people shouldn’t be trying to figure out what they can eat on their own; there’s goddamned *experts* for that. Absurd. Kosher is also absurd but less crazy-scholarly about it at least.
2. “There’s no reason to boycott Campbell’s because of the halal soups. It makes much more sense to boycott them because of what they did at Glencoe” is fuckin genius and Lurking Canadian deserves a prize of some sort; perhaps a clear liquid in a conical glass with a preserved fruit at the bottom? Nah, gotta come up with something better than that…should def post that at the facebook boycott page, just for the “whut?!” factor
*pads over to shelf to find Charlton Heston death mask*
the full-throated blessing of the out-of-the-mainstream media
All the better for thrusting down!
only illustrates the enormously dangerous clout
Is that what the kids are calling it now?
My enormously dangerous clout, let me
show youillustrate it, oops forgot the restraining order.DAMN YOU, SADLYNAUTS! I CAN’T KEEP UP! TOO MANY POSTS! YOU MANIACS! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELLLLL!!!
Damn right, Charlie…
This is not made up. This is a thing in the world.
NASA’s probably been forced to make all sorts of halal astronaut food. It could even be forcing NASA scientists to use Arabic numerals.
I recommend a front page post from D’Souza that is arguably less dumb. Dumb in space is better. Plus the opportunities for photoshopping are endless.
Goa might finally have its own Galtstronaut.
Spoken like someone who hasn’t read the insanely detailed sites covering kashrut. It is quite complicated and it all comes down to various experts as well.
Here’s just a taste: Is turkey kosher? Part 1 of 5
Kashrut is somewhat more stable, because the Orthodox Jewish population is smaller and not nearly as divided theologically as Islam. A few million versus over a billion adherents. But there’s a great deal of scholarship and debate that goes into both.
The war with the Islamic barbarians has been going on for centuries. Here is some inspiration from our European Christian Forefathers.
“Autumn had come to the Mediterranean, and more than a hint of the blustery winter to come was in the air, as two formidable armadas gathered for battle near Corinth. By far the larger force was the fleet commanded by Ali Pasha, servant of Ottoman Turkey’s Sultan Selim II.
From the deck of his fearsome flagship Sultana, Ali directed 270 war galleys and a massive collection of lighter craft. The fleet, appropriately, was deployed in a huge crescent stretching from the rocky shores of Albania in the north to the coast of Peloponnesus in the south.
From the Sultana’s mast flew a green banner into which the name of Allah had been stitched in gold nearly 30,000 times. “The flag was one of the treasures of Mecca,” comments British historian Jack Beeching in The Galleys at Lepanto. “Over the centuries, when the Moslems had carried its green and gold into battle, they invariably gained the day.” Throughout the Turkish fleet, the soldiers of The Prophet, confident of victory, disported themselves by belly-dancing to the music of the tambor and the flute.
Across the straits from the Turks, a smaller but no less resolute force was arrayed, its ships deployed in the shape of the cross. This navy represented the Christian League, an ad-hoc coalition of Catholic monarchies, ducal kingdoms, and Italian republics under the command of 25-year-old Don John of Austria. While the Turks made merry, the League soldiers, with quiet fortitude, grimly prepared for battle. Boarding nets were rigged, arquebuses prepared to fire, and swords were put to the whetstone. Armourers struck the fetters from galley slaves (except for captured Muslim fighters), each of whom was given a sword or pike. As Beeching observes, the impending battle “would be won or lost in the hand-to-hand fighting. What counted that morning above all else was the spirit of the men.”
As the time for battle approached, Don John debarked from his flagship Royal to tour the fleet. As the youthful commander dressed the line of battle, he sought to rally his men: “My children, we are here to conquer or die,” John declared to every ship’s company. “In death or in victory, you will win immortality.”
Throughout the fleet, soldiers — many of them previously indifferent to matters of the soul — knelt on galley decks to receive Communion and general absolution. On that Sunday morning — October 7, 1571 — each chaplain had offered a sermon on the theme: “No Heaven for Cowards.” One chaplain, a Capuchin Monk, concluded his homily by lashing his crucifix to a shiphook and joining the first boarding party. Undoubtedly moved by this brave gesture, Don John chose that moment to raise the Holy League’s banner — bearing the sign of the cross — over his flagship, prompting a resounding cheer from across the fleet.
Shortly thereafter, Beeching writes, “the wind that morning turned right around.” For propulsion, both fleets relied primarily on the muscle power of galley oarsmen — slaves, prisoners, or volunteers. However, the galleys were equipped with small sails to be used when the wind was favorable. The wind shift deflated the Turkish sails, and those of the Christian fleet were “filled as if from a mighty and confident breath,” recalls Beeching, leaving few in the League fleet “who doubted that God had intervened.”
While Turkish oarsmen hurriedly compensated for the wind loss, a shot suddenly rang out from the Christian fleet. Fired from an arquebus at extreme range, the shot was directed at Ali on the Turkish flagship. It was a personal challenge from Don John, who had ordered the Maltese Knight serving as his sailing master to steer a course for the Sultana. From the bridge of his vessel, Ali accepted the challenge. In defiance of well-established conventions of sea warfare, the opposing commanders and their flagships engaged each other.
Ali commanded a fleet representing a power infamous for mass murder, rapine, and plunder in the name of Allah. Don John and his men, who were predominantly Catholic but included Orthodox Christians and some Protestants, knew that the Turks had to be turned back at Lepanto or Christendom may be doomed.
Setting the Stage
“All through their imperial history,” writes Beeching, “the Ottoman Turks had used cruelty as an implement of dominion…. Christian armies too could be despicably cruel…. [B]loody deeds done by nominal Christians went contrary to the utterances of the founder of their religion…. The Turks, however, when they emerged from Central Asia to get away from their singularly cruel enemies, the Mongols, became converts to a religion which though admirable in its law-abiding and philanthropic aspects had been based from the start on victory in war and the pleasures of the flesh as a reward in the hereafter.”
When Constantinople fell to Mehmed II in 1453, more than a century before Lepanto, the Turks believed themselves to be on the road to universal dominion. The destruction of Christian Byzantium sent tremors of fear through Europe; the terror increased as Belgrade fell in 1521 and Hungary was conquered five years later. Setting their sights on controlling the Mediterranean, the Turks seized Rhodes and laid waste to Italy’s southern coast. While the Turks rampaged through the Mediterranean, Corsairs — pirate raiders who pledged their loyalty to the Turkish sultan — ravaged European shipping and captured Christians as slaves.
Religious liberty was extinguished in territories that fell under the Islamic Crescent; Christians and Jews could retain a modicum of freedom by paying the “dhimmi,” an extortionate tribute exacted by Islamic authorities. The conquered Christians were also required to pay the “blood tax”: Their oldest sons would be taken to Turkey to be trained as yeni ceri, or janissaries — “new soldiers” in the Sultan’s service. Attractive adolescents — females and those males not taken as soldiers — were often enslaved as prostitutes in Istanbul’s pleasure palaces. Some of the sultans “made use of the handsome boys brought every year to Constantinople as a trouble-free parallel harem,” notes Beeching.
Under Sulieman the Magnificent, the Ottoman Turks made no secret of their ambitions in the western Mediterranean. As a Turkish fleet carrying 40,000 fighting men set sail for Malta in 1565, the Sultan declared: “We shall see each other again at the Red Apple” — that is, Rome.
Just Cause
Knowing that Malta was to be a staging base for the Turkish assault on Italy, the Knights of Malta, under the leadership of their 71-year-old grand master, Jean LaValette, mounted a desperate defense. From their headquarters at the Castle St. Angelo, Valette and his aides watched as the fearsome Turkish force, arrayed in a crescent-shaped formation spanning the horizon, slowly approached. As preparations for battle proceeded, Valette led his force of 700 knights into chapel for prayer and absolution. He then laid out the stakes as plainly as he could:
A formidable army composed of audacious barbarians is descending on this island. These persons, my brothers, are enemies of Jesus Christ. Today it is a question of the defense of our faith — as to whether the Gospels are to be superseded by the Koran. God on this occasion demands of us our lives, already vowed to His service. Happy will be those who first consummate this sacrifice.
The knights departed from the chapel, according to one account, “as men who had received a new birth.”
As the Turkish siege of Malta began in August 1565, Christian Europe was riven with religious conflicts of its own, not only between Protestant and Catholic but also within those contending camps. But at least one Protestant ruler understood that Malta’s Catholic Knights were fighting on behalf of all Christendom. “If the Turks should prevail against the Isle of Malta, it is uncertain what peril might follow to the rest of Christendom,” wrote England’s Queen Elizabeth during the siege. Queen Elizabeth “was aware that if the Turks came in victorious, so that the Crescent prevailed against the Cross, then Europe as a recognizable society with its inherited moral values must change for the worse; the world Englishmen had always known would disappear,” writes Beeching.
For weeks the Knights of Malta held off wave after wave of Turkish troops. As the Muslim losses mounted, the Turks vented their fury on the Maltese who were captured or fell in battle: Hearts were torn out; crosses were carved into the victims’ naked flesh.The bodies of fallen Knights were often crucified, spread-eagled, on planks, and then floated across the harbor. These atrocities steeled the Maltese resistance. Assessing the cost of the siege, which was to be a step toward conquering Italy, the Turkish commander exclaimed: “If so small a son has cost us so dear, what shall we pay for the father?”
Thirty-one days after it began, the siege of Malta was lifted. The Turks lost more than three-fourths of their entire force. Incredibly, only 250 of Valette’s Knights had perished, although nearly all of the survivors were left with crippling wounds — including the venerable Valette himself, who had commanded from the front, sword in hand.
By September 12th, the last Turkish sail had retreated over the eastern horizon. For weeks thereafter, celebrations and prayers of thanks resounded across Europe — even in Puritan England, where church bells joyfully rang, and thanksgiving services were conducted thrice weekly for six weeks.
On his throne in Istanbul, Sulieman perceived the defeat as a failure of his subordinates, rather than an act of divine will. “I see it is only in my own hand that my sword is invincible!” exclaimed the tyrant when informed of the Turkish defeat at Malta. Lusting to avenge this injury to his own vanity, Sulieman organized an army of 200,000 men to invade Hungary, and set out on an ominously large program to build galleys — the fearful naval symbol of Ottoman power. Six years later, with Selim in the Sultan’s seat, that fleet would once again menace Europe.
They Strike Again
Vicious and cruel as he was, Sulieman would honor terms reached with a foe. Selim, however, was bound by no such scruples, and neither were his subordinates.
Forty-two when he became Sultan, Selim was an arrogant, cunning man given to dissipation and indulgence. Most days found him lounging on his throne surrounded by a bizarre bodyguard of 100 scimitar-wielding dwarves. Though he had little strength of character, Selim inherited a huge and growing military from his predecessor, Sulieman. He also inherited a vast and efficient spy network that brought detailed intelligence from throughout Europe. The Sultan’s spies confidently reported that the Christian powers were too busy contending with each other to defend themselves.
On March 15, 1570, the Turkish Sultan dispatched an ambassador to Venice carrying an ultimatum: Surrender Cyprus, or face war with the Turks. At the time, Venice — although a potentially formidable sea power — was more interested in commerce, including profitable trade with Turkey, than in defending Christendom from Turkish encroachment. But the Venetians, who proudly described themselves as “slaves to our laws,” would not countenance the Sultan’s lawless aggression against their republic’s territory. Prior to the Turkish envoy’s arrival, the Venetian senate had approved, by a 220-199 vote, a measure declaring: “The Republic could and would defend itself against attack, trusting in the justice of God, and would defend Cyprus, its lawful possession, by force of arms.”
Venice quickly found allies among its Catholic neighbors. Savoy offered to provide ships, and Florence and Urbino made troops available for defending Cyprus. Sicily’s noted galley squadron, which had been withheld from Malta’s defense, was sent to fight alongside the Venetians. At the pope’s urging, King Philip II of Spain overcame his deep-seated mistrust of the Venetians and sold them grain and other provisions. And the pope promised he would defray the costs of outfitting a dozen galleys if Venice’s renowned shipwrights would provide the hulls.
In July of that year, “the Turks landed on Cyprus with a huge army of more than 60,000,” records historian Warren Carroll in The Cleaving of Christendom. “Two months later the greatly outnumbered defenders of the Cypriote capital of Nicosia capitulated on terms, which the Turks promptly broke, killing thousands of Christians — both soldiers and civilians — and selling most of the women into slavery.” Among the victims was Amalda de Rocas, one of 800 Cypriote women packed onto a ship bound for Istanbul, where they were to be sold as sex slaves. Desperate to avoid this fate, Amalda somehow slipped into the ship’s powder magazine, which she detonated, killing everyone onboard.
As the Turks rampaged across the island, only the city of Famagusta resisted. From April to August 1571, the city’s defenders, led by Venetian senator Marcantonio Bragadino, held off a Turkish army that had swollen to 100,000 troops. Finally, after gallantly repelling four enormous assaults and depleting their powder and provisions, the defenders of Famagusta surrendered on terms to the Turks. Once again, the victorious Turks would prove themselves utterly without honor.
As he accepted Senator Bragadino’s surrender, Lala Mustafa, the Turkish commander, relentlessly baited the defeated Christian commander, trying to provoke him. Mustafa accused the Cypriotes of massacring prisoners; he arbitrarily changed the terms of the truce. Leering at Bragadino’s handsome young page, Mustafa announced that he would take the young man as a hostage. Still, the senator refused to be provoked. Tiring of the pretense, Mustafa ordered his men to seize Bragadino and his men for torture.
Several of Bragadino’s aides were hewn to pieces in front of him. The younger men were taken away as hostages. Bragadino himself had his head repeatedly placed on an executioner’s block, but rather than beheading him, his captors cut off his nose and ears. On the following Friday — the Muslim Sabbath — Famagusta’s commander was publicly flayed alive. His empty skin was then stuffed with straw and paraded through the streets. As this act of desecration was carried out, Mustafa’s troops put most of the city’s inhabitants to the sword.
As news of the Turkish conquest of Cyprus spread, “terror reigned on the Mediterranean, and it seemed that Islam was arranging the same fate for all the Christians of Europe that it had inflicted on the Christians of Cyprus,” notes historian Robert de Mattei of the University of Monte Cassino. News of the atrocities at Famagusta reached the Christian League fleet literally hours before they were to engage the Turks at Lepanto.
Although young, Don John had been tested in battle: His half-brother, King Philip II of Spain, had enlisted his help to put down a revolt by the “Moriscos” — Muslims of northern African origin encouraged by both Turkey and Algiers to revolt.
Commanding 10,000 men, John broke a stalemate in the Morisco war, often placing himself in the thick of battle.
John’s insane courage — produced, in part, by a desire to overcome the taint of his illegitimate descent from King Charles V — earned a reproof from Philip, who urged his half-brother to “remember how important your life is.” John also proved himself compassionate in victory: Ordered by Philip to destroy utterly the Morisco stronghold at Galera, John did raze the city flat — but only after allowing 4,200 non-combatants to leave in peace.
It was this combination of youth, courage, martial skill, and Christian compassion that prompted Pope Pius V to appoint John the commander of the Christian League, assembled to arrest the relentless Muslim advance in the Mediterranean. The League was formally created on May 27th; Don John was put in command on June 16th. While it was too late to save Cyprus, Don John and his troops were determined to hold back the Turkish fleet. “Defeat would render every Christian city on or near the Mediterranean Sea vulnerable to the fate of Nicosia and Famagusta,” writes Carroll.
The Battle of Lepanto
The battle began around noon on October 7th. At the front of the Christian formation were found two heavily armed warships — galleasses — commanded by brothers of the slain Venetian commander Bragadino. As Don John’s flagship dashed toward the Sultana, the galleasses opened fire; the entire column followed suit as soon as it was close enough to see the enemy’s faces. The Turks replied in kind, but their aim was off. While the League’s gunners battered the Turkish ships below the waterline, most of the Turkish fire flew into sail and spar, doing little damage.
As the two flagships collided, the charge was led — however improbably — by a woman, Maria “La Bailadora” (The Dancer), disguised as a man and “burning to avenge the contempt for womanhood” displayed by the Turks, observes Carroll. Another unlikely combatant, 75-year-old Sebastian Veniero, strode the decks clad in slippers, calmly dispatching Turks with his antique crossbow. For two hours Don John and his troops battled the Turks on the deck of Ali’s flagship. John took a wound in his leg, but continued to fight. Finally, a bullet fired from an arquebus found Ali’s forehead. With their commander dead, the Turks aboard the flagship lost the will to fight. The green flag from Mecca was hauled down, and a Christian flag was raised over the Sultana.
Elsewhere, the battle’s outcome was still very much in doubt. The Turks had managed to turn the League’s left flank, despite the heroic efforts of Venetian Admiral Agostino Barbarigo, who continued to fight despite taking an arrow to his eye. After Barbarigo finally collapsed, the fiercely individualistic Venetians — inspired by the memory of Cyprus — continued the struggle, holding out for a miracle.
That miracle was percolating among the Christian slaves aboard the Turkish galleys. While the Venetians fought on out of doomed courage, “a mass of Christian galley slaves, having filed away at their fetters in readiness, broke free at a signal from the leaders of their conspiracy,” recounts Beeching. Many of the slaves were Greeks and Italians recently captured in Turkish raids. Eager for freedom “they joined the fray, swinging broken chains, leaping on the Turks from behind to grab their weapons, taking their oppressors by the throat.” This rebellion tipped the balance. Caught between the intransigent Venetians and the insurgent slaves, the Turkish right flank collapsed — and the day was won for the Cross.”
This article originally appeared in the March 10, 2003 issue of The New American.
I think about those guys who coped 69 days in a mine hole and this guy’s freaking out over Campbell’s soup options. Gad.
Sweet blood of Gee-ziz, talk about a “comment” that needs to be deleted!
Is somebody from “Gates of Vienna” over here jacking off? Smells like it.
Gee Chris, as always you have some insight there, I’l have to study all that later.
It could even be forcing NASA scientists to use Arabic numerals.
As opposed to electronic digital binary or the whole venutian numerics and calculus, of course.
Islamic-ruled Andalucia was sure a whole helluva lot better place to live than the Christian dominated parts of most of Europe. But then, Muslims actually know about and practiced science, and of course laid the foundation for what would become the European Renaissance.
It wouldn’t take them too long to shoot themselves in the foot of their science gains by preferring beautiful, hand-written Arabic in the style of the Qur’an over the less beautiful printing press being employed by the Europeans, something a bit more suited to the rapid mass distribution of information and knowledge.
What we really need to do is get rid of this Hindu notion of “zero”. How can something that’s not anything be something? Why do we even talk about it? Why would you have a name for something which is not any thing? We got too many words as’tis all ready.
The cuts of beef near the hindquarters are not kosher because God or an angel wrestled with tribal leader Jacob for a long time, and got bored or nervous and reached out and paralyzed Jabos’s leg by touching his inner thigh, known as the ‘sciatic nerve’.
Angel, wrestle, thigh, touch, sciatic = no ordinary steak or leg or other beef or lamb which hasn’t had a porging expert remove the tissue which may have come in contact with those nerve fibers.
Angle, wrestle, thigh, touch.
This is not made up. This is a thing in the world.
Is Obama trying to ‘decolonize’ space?
By Dinesh D’Souza | Christian Science Monitor | Wed, Oct 13
Ah, I see what Dinesh does there. If anyone points out that his argument makes no feckin’ sense at all — because (a) “America’s effort to colonize outer space” NEVER EXISTED, and (b) there are no colonised populations on the Moon seeking to disengage themselves from an economy of Empire — then he can simply respond “Exactly, ladies and gentlemen of the jury! This proves that Obama is not a rational man! His intentions make NO.SENSE.AT.ALL!!”
It is basically the Chewbacca Defense but in reverse; “If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must convict! The prosecution rests.”
Sounds like Dinesh is spamming every newspaper in the US with versions of the same column, in which he explains one or other of Obama’s policies with the same argument: “The reason is that President Obama has adopted his father’s ideology; the son is, as his father was, an anticolonialist.” He has a Unified Field Theory that EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.
I would have thought, however, that editors already have a steady supply of such contributions — traditionally written in green ink — in which some nutbar fits a different event each day into his unified theory, thereby PROVING the correctness of the theory. And in the absence of green-ink letters, there is no shortage of similar material from David Icke’s website, or photocopied and stuck up at bus-stops. So why in the name of feck is the CSM reduced to printing D’Souza’s bullflap? Surely the editors realise that anyone who fits every single aspect of Obama’s decision-making into the same intellectual framework, is saying more about himself.
I honestly can’t see much difference between D’Souza’s current theorising and birtherism, but applied to intellectual heritage rather than place of birth.
Angel, wrestle, thigh, touch.
HAWT.
“Speaking of witch, Christine O’Donnell will be debating Mike Castle live on CSpan at 7:30 if you can stand it.”
Humph. Since she continues to not confess that she was one of those who unleashed cursed Halloween candy on unsuspecting kids back in the day, she has no credibility at all with me.
Why do those people always have such punchable faces?
Ha! Silly Turks didn’t know only Christians are justified in their killing in the name of conquest!
Sounds like Dinesh is spamming every newspaper in the US with versions of the same column, in which he explains one or other of Obama’s policies with the same argument: “The reason is that President Obama has adopted his father’s ideology; the son is, as his father was, an anticolonialist.” He has a Unified Field Theory that EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.
This.
Could also just be liberal baiting, since defending colonialism is, in intelligent company, about as obscene as Holocaust denial.
Jonah’s head explodes when he can’t decide wether he should eat the lovely lovely bacon or leave it there to spell out the ‘Pig Chump’ sign..
Shhhhhhh…
don’t no-one tell D’Souzaphone about the Mulsims keeping pharmacology alive in the Dark Ages when Christians thought bleeding a patient white was good medicine.
He’d get upset, and we just put him to sleep. Isn’t he so cute there with his thumb in his mouth? Aw, listen, he’s saying “anti-colonial” under his breath.
Until we took it over it was devil medicine. Our Christianity burned away their research’s wickedness.
Is Michelle Obama trying to decolonize fats and sugars?
She is following in the Luo Kenyan anti-imperialist anti-Western ideology to rely upon diets shockingly poor in pre-manufactured burgers, chicken nuggets, and, of course, processed pancake food on a processed sausage food stick.
This article originally appeared in the March 10, 2003 issue of The New American.
Copyright violation on aisle five.
Ah, yes, “The New American”.
“Hustler” for nativists.
Pay someone fast on his feet – I’m thinking circa 17 years old – to slap an Obama ’12 bumper-sticker on her truck.
LOL.
I’m 22, and FTR, if I were in Arkansas, I’d do it for free.
I’m 30 and slow as shit, but if I could drive, I’d head down there right now.
Why has this about California’s schools got me so pissed off at the wingnuts? I haven’t gone to a school in California since preschool, and I live nowhere near there. Yet what the fucking budget-cutters have done enrages me, and I have no idea why.
LOL at becankled T&U hobbling faster than corpulent she-beast
slow as shit
Use more hot oil on your salads. Mmmm…oily roughage…
LOL at becankled T&U hobbling faster than corpulent she-beast
I’m not particularly scared of fat redneck women, either.
Use more hot oil on your salads. Mmmm…oily roughage…
It’s a salad dressing AND a hair treatment!
SOB.
“Well if you remember when we were fighting the Soviets over there in Afghanistan in the ’80s and ’90s, we did not finish the job, so now we have a responsibility to finish the job and if you are gonna make these politically correct statements that it’s costing us too much money, you are threatening the security of our homeland.”
It’s a salad dressing AND a hair treatment!
Hot pepper oil in your hair? I guess it would work i you have a beehive do.
Spoken like someone who hasn’t read the insanely detailed sites covering kashrut. It is quite complicated and it all comes down to various experts as well.
Here’s just a taste: Is turkey kosher? Part 1 of 5
Well, that is true. I guess I thought that shit had got settled. Never ran into anyone wondering how to eat kosher…of course it’s absurd to have two whole fucking kitchens to keep the meat & milk properly separated (only the really crazy people do this of course, most folks limp along with a few extra dishes & pots) but at least, I thought, they knew what they are doing. Now it seems even more insane. Part 1 of 5! Bwahaha!
See, this is what we need – completely bizarre & irrational dietary requirements for everyone but most especially the wingnut fundies. Keep em busy trying to figure out if they can eat lunchables and maybe they won’t have time to invent so much evil shit.
Hot pepper oil in your hair? I guess it would work i you have a beehive do.
I was talking about this.
Valerie Jarrett describes being gay as a “lifestyle choice.” WTF? Is this, like, fucking 1993, or what?
Valerie Jarrett describes being gay as a “lifestyle choice.” WTF? Is this, like, fucking 1993, or what?
It is still very much an article of faith for Focus on the Family and a bunch of other loons like them.
Now I’m getting shit on Twitter for not being an Obama loyalist and jumping down her throat for using that term.
Um, sorry. It’s a fucking offensive term. I’m not going to pretend that someone isn’t being offensive just because they’re supposedly on my “side.”
Simple logic to the rescue again; why would homosexuals put themselves through the ostracism, the “iccck!” reactions and the hundreds of other pressures society places on them the moment they come out of the closet, if it were as simple as flipping a switch and going back to liking women like everyone else?
Of course, there’s a simple way to counteract that logic; just assume that homosexuals are not, in fact, treated like crap, and that they’re in fact the ones threatening to shove their agenda, to coin a phrase, down your throat. You, the straight white male Christian, are the victim – never forget that.
I was talking about this.
I know, but if you changed to a beehive with hot pepper oil you would – per Rule 34 – attract even more S,N! suitors.
Actually, intellectual honesty demands that we criticize those “on our side” in exactly the same way we criticize others for the same offense. Otherwise, we’re like the teatards conveniently overlooking that their candidates don’t live up to their rhetoric.
Sez the white straight dude who defends the comments: ” The rest, well, jebus, I hated PC in the 90s, hate it now.”
The war with the Islamic barbarians has been going on for centuries.
Yea. Ain’t our fault, asshole so shut up already.
Okay, she apologized for it. Still makes me fucking cranky as shit, though.
Maybe I shouldn’t have had candy corn for breakfast.
Valerie Jarrett describes being gay as a “lifestyle choice.”
I think that’s true only if the curtain doesn’t match the drapes.
If you know what I mean.
And I think you do.
Grrrr. carpet…the carpet doesn’t match the drapes.
Maybe I shouldn’t have had candy corn for breakfast.
You can cook for me anytime.
You can cook for me anytime.
I make a mean grape Skittle.
I make a mean grape Skittle.
Toss in a Nehi and it’s gourmet!
Actually, intellectual honesty demands that we criticize those “on our side” in exactly the same way we criticize others for the same offense. Otherwise, we’re like the teatards conveniently overlooking that their candidates don’t live up to their rhetoric.
Exactly. And it’s one of the biggest reasons I prefer liberals.
We’re not perfect, but usually pretty good at cleaning up our own house – be it throwing out the Bourbon Democrats circa 1900, throwing out the Dixiecrats halfway through the century, or taking stands in the Cold War against authoritarian left wing governments (which we did quite a while before Republicans, by the way).
It’s not that our beliefs can’t lend themselves to corruption, or racism, or authoritarianism, but we’ve got a pretty good record of slamming the door on these things when they do appear. The right, OTOH, not only refuses to take out its own trash, it actually stockpiles it by adding our own (Southern Strategy, see Nixon).
I know, but if you changed to a beehive with hot pepper oil you would – per Rule 34 – attract even more S,N! suitors.
Amidst my fury I missed this comment. I’ll be sure to include hot pepper oil in my seduction kit from here on out.
We’re not perfect, but usually pretty good at cleaning up our own house – be it throwing out the Bourbon Democrats circa 1900, throwing out the Dixiecrats halfway through the century, or taking stands in the Cold War against authoritarian left wing governments (which we did quite a while before Republicans, by the way)..
The liberals/Democrats who refuse to do this or call those of us who want to starry-eyed, naive idiots fucking drive me up the goddamn wall, though. There seem to be more of them these days, or maybe I’m just more aware of them.
Toss in a Nehi and it’s gourmet!
We don’t have that here. Would an Orange Crush be an acceptable substitute?
The right, OTOH, not only refuses to take out its own trash, it actually stockpiles it by adding our own (Southern Strategy, see Nixon).
If they threw out the trash, there would be nobody left.
There seem to be more of them these days, or maybe I’m just more aware of them.
Fortunately I’m far enough away that you can’t knee me in my nads for saying this, but it appears to be a function of one’s age: the more election cycles you see, the more the hypocrites on your side are visible.
We don’t have that here. Would an Orange Crush be an acceptable substitute?
I suppose. The carpet won’t match the drapes, but they will complement.
The liberals/Democrats who refuse to do this or call those of us who want to starry-eyed, naive idiots fucking drive me up the goddamn wall, though.
As one of those, I take umbrage. Go read my blog today.
The liberals/Democrats who refuse to do this or call those of us who want to starry-eyed, naive idiots fucking drive me up the goddamn wall, though. There seem to be more of them these days, or maybe I’m just more aware of them.
Especially since so many of them (Obama included) appear to be essentially the new Bourbons, the pro-corporate, “third way” Democrats who became popular in the nineties.
I’d be up for another intra-party revolution like the one W. J. Bryan led a century ago. I suspect there’ll be more and more like me as this $#!t continues, too.
Fortunately I’m far enough away that you can’t knee me in my nads for saying this
Dude, you could be standing in front of her and the worst damage she could cause would be to run over your foot with her scooter.
I’d be up for another intra-party revolution like the one W. J. Bryan led a century ago.
I applaud your goal but suggest you pick a better role model.
As one of those, I take umbrage. Go read my blog today.
A starry-eyed, naive idiot? Or somebody who drives me up the goddamn wall by accusing me of being one?
What you’re saying is reasonable.(IOW, it’s better than the alternative). I’m just tired of getting shit every time I criticize the administration and seeing people accuse other people of secretly wanting the Republicans to win because they dare to criticize the president.
Especially since so many of them (Obama included) appear to be essentially the new Bourbons, the pro-corporate, “third way” Democrats who became popular in the nineties.
I’ll settle. I’m fine with that. Progress comes in tiny increments, and when this nation takes bold steps, the backlash ends up costing nearly all we’ve gained anyway.
Or somebody who drives me up the goddamn wall by accusing me of being one?
Come down off that wainscotting and we can talk.
Fortunately I’m far enough away that you can’t knee me in my nads for saying this
Dude, you could be standing in front of her and the worst damage she could cause would be to run over your foot with her scooter.
Unfortunately, this is true.
I applaud your goal but suggest you pick a better role model.
*shrug. The man’s Scopes trial thing was idiotic, but the fact that he led the anti-Bourbon revolution and put the populists back in charge of the Dems is to be applauded. I also like one important tangent to the Scopes trial – the fear that Darwinist theory would lead to social Darwinism. That’s something the Young Earth morons of today conveniently dispensed with.
What you’re saying is reasonable.(IOW, it’s better than the alternative). I’m just tired of getting shit every time I criticize the administration and seeing people accuse other people of secretly wanting the Republicans to win because they dare to criticize the president.
This. And I enjoyed your latest blog post too.
There’s no reason this couldn’t go massively wrong at this present time.
I also like one important tangent to the Scopes trial – the fear that Darwinist theory would lead to social Darwinism.
But we see echoes of that even today. “Bail out homeowners? Why? They fucked up, let them deal with it, I got mine!”
Come down off that wainscotting and we can talk.
Okay, fine. Let me get this cobweb first.
This. And I enjoyed your latest blog post too.
The one from a month ago? Thanks. I really should write more of those thingies.
There’s no reason this couldn’t go massively wrong at this present time.
Interesting. I hope, if Obama goes there, there’s not another shot fired at a Federal institution…
But we see echoes of that even today. “Bail out homeowners? Why? They fucked up, let them deal with it, I got mine!”
Well, right. I miss the times when that was considered a bad thing in the “heartland,” though I’m not sure how to bring them back.
I’ll settle. I’m fine with that. Progress comes in tiny increments, and when this nation takes bold steps, the backlash ends up costing nearly all we’ve gained anyway.
Like I said on your blog sometime this summer – there’s a time for incrementalism and a time for bold steps. I think 2006/08 could have provided an opportunity for a less incremental approach (most of which you yourself just outlined on your blog) in the last two years.
The man’s Scopes trial thing was idiotic
As were his proposed economic policies. The other side’s weren’t much better but at least they recognized that inflation to benefit farmers hurt other people.
I really should write more of those thingies.
Yes. You should….*tapping foot*
As were his proposed economic policies. The other side’s weren’t much better but at least they recognized that inflation to benefit farmers hurt other people.
OK, fair enough. I guess I’m biased by the knowledge of what the populists eventually led to (Square Deal, Fair Deal et al).
The one from a month ago? Thanks. I really should write more of those thingies.
LOL, in this case, I was talking to actor212 about this morning’s post. But I remember your last and did enjoy it as well.
Like I said on your blog sometime this summer – there’s a time for incrementalism and a time for bold steps. I think 2006/08 could have provided an opportunity for a less incremental approach (most of which you yourself just outlined on your blog) in the last two years.
My concern is that incremental steps ain’t gonna do it. We don’t have 20 years to deal with global warming, or healthcare, or economic inequality. We really don’t.
I will also say that those of us who won’t sit down and shut the fuck up are just as needed as those of us who call for an incremental approach. Even if we are being unreasonable and whiny.
I think 2006/08 could have provided an opportunity for a less incremental approach (most of which you yourself just outlined on your blog) in the last two years.
When you have a 60 member contingent in a hundred member body and you can’t force a simple 60-40 vote, then clearly the pulse of your nation is not in sync with you.
Radical change in this country usually comes from the private sector or from individual states, and then gets adopted at the federal level, eventually. I see some radical changes…really, gay marriage in Iowa?…that are working their way to the forefront.
The way to beat an obstinate political bloc like the Teabaggers is to diversify your efforts, force them to fight wars on multiple fronts and then where you win battles, solidify your wins and make damn sure your programs and policies work. The natural progression of America will take care of the rest.
Yes. You should….*tapping foot*
I know. I’m a total Slacky McSlackerson.
LOL, in this case, I was talking to actor212 about this morning’s post. But I remember your last and did enjoy it as well.
Ha! I was like, okay, now’s a weird time to bring it up, but whatever. Makes more sense now.
LOL, in this case, I was talking to actor212 about this morning’s post.
Oh. Well, in that case, thanks, Chris!
I know. I’m a total Slacky McSlackerson.
Shall I chain you to the keyboard?
My concern is that incremental steps ain’t gonna do it. We don’t have 20 years to deal with global warming, or healthcare, or economic inequality. We really don’t.
In all honesty, if you get me drunk enough, I’ll admit we’re past time to do anything about all of these, and that moving out of the country is the only solution.
Of course, global warming would still find me…
Shall I chain you to the keyboard?
Heh. I practically am already. You’d have to take away my internets, too. And Tetris. And solitaire.
In all honesty, if you get me drunk enough, I’ll admit we’re past time to do anything about all of these, and that moving out of the country is the only solution.
Of course, global warming would still find me…
Honestly, I think we are, too, but, you know, I can’t very well look at my cousins’ kids and not have any hope.
The key is to find somewhere that will be temperate and livable despite global warming. I’m thinking somewhere in Canada, but I’m just pulling that out of my ass.
Oh, and with good soil.
Shall I chain you to the keyboard?
Interest! I see that you already have a website. Please let me know when the videos are posted.
Oh. Well, in that case, thanks, Chris!
You’re welcome, tis a pleasure.
Of course, global warming would still find me…
Ruined planet = new incentive for space exploration?
Ruined planet = new incentive for space exploration?
Not if they’re gonna raise mah taxes!
Ruined planet = new incentive for space exploration?
Time for that is past as well.
Besides, we need the money on Earth, too many problems here, blah blah blah.
People who influence things would pour raspberry vinagrette on the money and eat it before spending it on anything as “unprofitable” as space exploration.
“The key is to find somewhere that will be temperate and livable despite global warming. I’m thinking somewhere in Canada, but I’m just pulling that out of my ass.”
You’re already too late. The rich are already buying land around that future tropical sea we now call Hudson Bay and in Alaska too.
You’re already too late. The rich are already buying land around that future tropical sea we now call Hudson Bay and in Alaska too.
I’ll just stay here, then. I’ve always wondered what the Dust Bowl was like…
“Ruined planet = new incentive for space exploration?”
All the Libertarians are going Galt on the moon. They’ve got a computer who will run things. His name is Mike. What could go wrong?
I’m thinking somewhere in Canada…
Not that we wouldn’t be glad to have you, but I don’t think you’ve thought that part through. Climate change doesn’t mean it’s going to be hotter – but rather that the weather will be more XTREEM TO THE MAX.
LEAFS SUCK regularly records temperatures in the high 30’s and the low -20s (Celsius. Call it 15 below zero to 100 above for youse Fahrenheitians), and our region is moderated by the Great Lakes.
That said, Souther Ontario has plenty of good soil – and some of it isn’t even paved over yet!
The rich are already buying land around that future tropical sea we now call Hudson Bay and in Alaska too.
Oh, I have my winter home picked out. I’m looking for my summer place in Siberia.
LEAFS SUCK
At 3-0, you might want to rethink this.
Not that we wouldn’t be glad to have you, but I don’t think you’ve thought that part through. Climate change doesn’t mean it’s going to be hotter – but rather that the weather will be more XTREEM TO THE MAX.
I was thinking southern Ontario, actually. There’s fresh water, it’s inland, and the winters are relatively mild. And, as you said, the soil’s good.
“I’ve always wondered what the Dust Bowl was like…”
Maybe I’ll plant some date palms here in Minnesota. It’s been frickin’ 85 degrees in October here… Which is just nuts.
Souther Ontario
Suuthreeen Ontar’YO! Whee-HAH!
Maybe I’ll plant some date palms here in Minnesota. It’s been frickin’ 85 degrees in October here… Which is just nuts.
Holy shit. I thought it was crazy that it was getting up to 80 here.
I haven’t many leaves turn at all, either, which is unusual.
“LEAFS SUCK ”
Not nearly as much as Brent Farvrerereere
The few times I have visited, I actually really liked Toronto. Seems like a nice city, not that I saw much of it.
“Holy shit. I thought it was crazy that it was getting up to 80 here.”
Well… it isn’t now. But it’s been up there… I think last week. Just… very unusual.
We don’t really have Minnesota winters any more. At least not how I remember them and strangely I miss the 80 below wind chill and sustain below zero temps for 90 days in a row. I’m weird I guess.
At least not how I remember them and strangely I miss the 80 below wind chill and sustain below zero temps for 90 days in a row. I’m weird I guess.
Looxury!
Why, in NYC, we had snow drefts 80 foot high, and made of firesnow, and ye’d get bunned tryin’ ta shoovull et! But we had ta walk eighty million miles ta school each way uphill in 90 degree heat with wind chills of minus absolute zero with sacks of cement under each arm!
And we LIKED it!
We don’t really have Minnesota winters any more.
No more “The Day The Earth Froze”, I take it?
We don’t really have Minnesota winters any more. At least not how I remember them and strangely I miss the 80 below wind chill and sustain below zero temps for 90 days in a row. I’m weird I guess.
Our winters have been weird the past few years, too. Last winter was especially strange. Things get fairly cold here, but it’s usually that crisp, sunny cold. Last winter, it was wet and dark and miserable and not that cold. It was weird. Also, worst.winter.ever.
I can hardly remember the weather from one month or season to the next. A little like the American voter about the performance of the political parties, I guess.
“No more “The Day The Earth Froze”, I take it?”
No more “Every single morning your engine block is frozen solid and the vinyl on the seats literally cracks when you sit down it”.
Yoo had SNOW?
Loooxury!
We couldn’t afford snow. We had to freeze our own urine!
Sure the Leafs may be off to a great start, but they still suck. SRSLY, try and find anyone who thinks they’ll make the playoffs this year.
Last year they were 4-3-3 after the first ten games and finished fourth last in the league.
Sure it’s basically a whole new team and all, but let’s face facts. The Leafs suck. That’s just one of those basic fundamental aspects of the world. As N__B wouldn’t say, it is what it is.
We just get all depressingly dark in the winter, a kind of flat grey light, like you’re living in a grey cardboard box, that eventually makes you a little psychotic with the monotony and then you feel like walking down the street carrying two machetes, swinging them around in huge choppy stabby circles just to see the spurts of fresh red arterial blood for relief.
heh heh….
We had to freeze our own urine!
You had URINE? We had to borrow rats ta take a leak!
Is Obama trying to ‘decolonize’ space?
And just when MARS NEEDS WOMEN!
Sure the Leafs may be off to a great start, but they still suck.
My god, you beat the PENGUINS last night!
We just get all depressingly dark in the winter, a kind of flat grey light, like you’re living in a grey cardboard box, that eventually makes you a little psychotic with the monotony and then you feel like walking down the street carrying two machetes, swinging them around in huge choppy stabby circles just to see the spurts of fresh red arterial blood for relief.
Hmmm…maybe you need St. John’s Wort. Or Thorazine.
“We had to freeze our own urine!”
You had your own urine?
Paradise!
We had to steal urine from winos.
And just when MARS NEEDS WOMEN!
That’s my name, don’t wear it out!
Damn you actor….
Suuthreeen Ontar’YO! Whee-HAH!
I see you’ve been to London.
Hmmm…maybe you need St. John’s Wort. Or Thorazine.
You’re a lot better than the last doctor. He prescribed a new suit for me. The sleeves were a little long. It took a while to get it off, and then I gave it to the orderly as a gift, a necktie. He seemed to appreciate it. His face turned red with embarassment, and then he passed out from the gratitude.
Damn you actor….
I not like having to Ahem…
“It took a while to get it off”
Interest, newsletter…
“then I gave it to the orderly as a gift”
More interest, more newsletters…
“His face turned red with embarassment”
Video?
“then he passed out”
Ah… just another Friday night I take it.
Ah… just another Friday night I take it.
You’ve been?
You’re a lot better than the last doctor. He prescribed a new suit for me. The sleeves were a little long. It took a while to get it off, and then I gave it to the orderly as a gift, a necktie. He seemed to appreciate it. His face turned red with embarassment, and then he passed out from the gratitude.
Yes, but didn’t you think those soft, cushy walls were very pretty?
Quelle surprise.
He prescribed a new suit for me. The sleeves were a little long. It took a while to get it off
If you get the right person, it’s more interesting to leave it on.
I’ll just stay here, then. I’ve always wondered what the Dust Bowl was like…
No need to repeat it for that [53 min video, worth watching when you’ve got the time]
Quelle surprise.
You were shot in the face by your Vice President? You were lucky! My Vice President nailed me head to a coffee table!
Yes, but didn’t you think those soft, cushy walls were very pretty?
They were a soothing grey, a kind of flat grey, like you’re living in a grey cardboard box, that eventually makes you a little psychotic with the monotony and then you feel like walking down the street carrying two machetes, swinging them around in huge choppy stabby circles just to see the spurts of fresh red arterial blood for relief.
If you get the right person, it’s more interesting to leave it on.
Orderly Barney wouldn’t let the nympho in my
cellapartment.That is the really stunning thing to me. We have some very smart people running the government right now, but there is absolutely no focus at all on the stuff bearing down on us like a freight train.
At some point in the next 20 years, energy prices are going to go ballistic. This isn’t even a question; just look at the oil production charts. The big new oil reserves are expensive as fuck to get out. Ethanol is practically break even for the energy it takes to raise and harvest. There isn’t enough solar production facilities to make the cells to compensate, and all alternative energy solutions require a huge capital investment that require robust economies.
Overpopulation and its effects are the number one threat to everything; people require resources, and emit waste. We are at the breaking point of waste, with global warming and general pollution. We cant feed everyone, and even the water is running low. We have had several civial wars in the past decades from limited rescources and space, with Rwanda being the most extreme but certainly an obvious warning.
Climate change is, at the very least, going to be very expensive to compensate for. Food production will need to move, food will need to travel further, people will need more energy to keep cool, water will need to be shipped further. And in the worse cases, big areas flood and become uninhabitable, crowding more people into already overpopulated areas.
There is no one talking about this stuff. there is a climate organization, but I don’t see any governments really taking up the banner and trying to push it. No one touches overpopulation, though it drives nearly every major problem.There is no planning for the next energy crash, unless you count building up the military.
There is no planning for the next energy crash, unless you count building up the military.
Actually, this is the response to all three crises
Last year they were 4-3-3 after the first ten games and finished fourth last in the league.
Uh – season before. Like other LEAFS SUCKians, I refuse to acknowledge last season’s existence.
“Cheney has not apologized in public for the shooting”
Of course not. In fact as I recall Whittington apologized to Cheney at the time. OH…
“After the shooting, Whittington issued a statement saying he and his family were “deeply sorry” for “all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through.”
But he told the Post he had not meant his apology to be taken as an admission that he was responsible for what happened.”
Yet that’s what it was.
“”I was lucky. I just feel like every day is a gift. Sometimes I wonder why I got these extra years,” he told the Post.”
That’s how people feel after natural disasters like a flood or earthquake. Most people would feel a little different about getting shot at by a friend who almost kills you, suffering from speech impairment because he damaged your larynx and having a pellet too close to your heart to remove and still the fucking bastard that shot you won’t apologize and his administration blames YOU.
Most people would feel a little bitter maybe even angry about that.
Most people would feel a little bitter maybe even angry about that.
“Yeah…..after that I used to go round his flat every Sunday lunchtime to apologise and we’d shake hands and then he’d nail my head to the floor”
It’s fun and easy to make ricotta cheese at home without rennet:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/28/dining/281rrex.html
They were a soothing grey, a kind of flat grey, like you’re living in a grey cardboard box, that eventually makes you a little psychotic with the monotony and then you feel like walking down the street carrying two machetes, swinging them around in huge choppy stabby circles just to see the spurts of fresh red arterial blood for relief.
I think it’s time for your treatment. You’ll feel a tiny little shock, but I promise it won’t hurt much. Just bite down on this.
Most people would feel a little bitter maybe even angry about that.
Well, Cheney does have his own death squads, you know.
I think it’s time for your treatment. You’ll feel a tiny little shock, but I promise it won’t hurt much. Just bite down on this.
There is no pain. You are receding, a distant ship’s smoke on the horizon. You are only coming thru in waves. Your lips move, but I can’t hear what you…WHAT?
There is no one talking about this stuff.
but but but science and the free market will save us!
but but but
scienceJeebus and the free market will save us!Fixed for less liberal heresy.
No, we don’t live in a surveillance state. Why do you ask?
“That is the really stunning thing to me. We have some very smart people running the government right now, but there is absolutely no focus at all on the stuff bearing down on us like a freight train.”
That’s because the Right wing fucktards so freaked out after after FDR served three terms that they passed an amendment to limit presidential terms to two. Which means that presidents can’t really have a long term affect on the country. Good in some ways I suppose.
“Climate change is, at the very least, going to be very expensive to compensate for.”
Or you could just not spend anything and let people die.
“There is no one talking about this stuff.”
There is plenty of talk about it in conspiracy circles. They are crazy and delusional but I kind of think they’ve got it right at the broadest level. Which is that basically, we’re fucked, but the rich will be just fine.
No, we don’t live in a surveillance state. Why do you ask?
Oh, come on. They just targeted brown people and liberals. Everybody knows they don’t have rights!
Perhaps the man does not know what the word gallop means? Either way, come on guys, there’s nothing funny about Alzheimer’s disease. If a man thinks that robots are after him, give him fake robot insurance. If a man thinks that the animal parts in his canned soup were slaughtered in a certain ritualistic way, then hand-write Most Definitely Not Ritualistically Slaughtered Chicken Parts In This Here Can. Just don’t laugh at the poor man; it’s not his fault.
Oh, come on. They just targeted brown people and liberals. Everybody knows they don’t have rights!
And funny how the FBI continues to target anti-war activists even now while militia-types get a free ride, just like last time.
And funny how the FBI continues to target anti-war activists even now while militia-types get a free ride, just like last time.
Yes! Hilarious!
I know for a fact that my be-dreadlocked vegan neighbor who rides his bike everywhere is much more of a threat than some jackass with an arms collection worth more than my car.
“If a man thinks that robots are after him, give him fake robot insurance.”
Are you saying that robots as NOT after us?
At some point in the next 20 years, energy prices are going to go ballistic. This isn’t even a question; just look at the oil production charts. The big new oil reserves are expensive as fuck to get out.
Shorter George Will: We won’t get off oil energy in your lifetime and that’s a good thing because Exxon Mobil will make a profit.
I want to scream. Or perhaps slice someone up just for the variety provided by the spurting arterial blood.
I’m not going to correct that, no way, uh uh.
Shorter George Will: We won’t get off oil energy in your lifetime and that’s a good thing because Exxon Mobil will make a profit.
“In fact, he says, ‘we’ll probably never exhaust the world’s supply’ of oil because recovering the last, say, 10 percent would be so costly that alternative energy forms would make economic sense.”
Peak oil is wrong because there’s still a lot of oil we can’t use!
“In 1914, the Bureau of Mines said U.S. oil reserves would be exhausted by 1924. In 1939, the Interior Department said the world’s petroleum reserves would last 13 years. Oil fueled a global war and the postwar boom, and in 1951 Interior said the world had … 13 years of proven reserves. In 1970, proven reserves were estimated at 612 billion barrels. By 2006, more than 767 billion barrels had been pumped and proven reserves were 1.2 trillion. In 1977, Jimmy Carter said mankind could “use up” all the world’s proven reserves “by the end of the next decade.” Since then, the world has consumed three times more oil than was in the proven reserves. Today, shale rock formations in Texas and Louisiana; Montana and North Dakota; and New York, Pennsylvania, and other Eastern states may contain 2,000 trillion cubic feet of clean-burning natural gas.
It’s called technology, you fucking asshat. And at some point the development of said technology is no longer feasible for the amount of energy we’d extract (as you said before, jackass).
And funny how the FBI continues to target anti-war activists even now while militia-types get a free ride, just like last time.
How do you know that?
Or perhaps slice someone up just for the variety provided by the spurting arterial blood.
If you dedicate the flesh to Allah as you slice it up I can put in my halal soup!
Also, and surprisingly on-topic (apologies): Whosis up there at the top should be ‘way more worried about BPA in his soup cans than whether or not someone prayed to a seventh-century sky fairy when they slaughtered the animals that didn’t go into his soup. It’s certainly the more likely threat.
Oh who am I kidding, limiting the BPA in can liners might limit corporate profits and WE CAN’T HAVE THAT.
…‘way more worried about BPA in his soup cans…
Hey, what about me? I’m a badass killer too!
Um, does Utah get tornadoes?
Speaking of the Great White North – not only do we have halal soup, but BPA is on our toxics list.
You may not be protected when climate change takes effect and ice storms take turns with blistering droughts at pummeling the land, but we have Universal Health Care and poutine.
And funny how the FBI continues to target anti-war activists even now while militia-types get a free ride, just like last time.
And how black people standing with clubs outside of a voting booth are considered intimidation, but people in fatigues carrying guns to townhall meetings are not.
Speaking of the Great White North – not only do we have halal soup, but BPA is on our toxics list.
Sure, you asshole, rub it in. You’re less insane than us. So what, we have the NFL so fuck you.
Um, does Utah get tornadoes?
Yes.
Sure, you asshole, rub it in.
In your defense, being listed on teh Canookian Toxics Substance List doesn’t actually mean anything by itself.
‘we’ll probably never exhaust the world’s supply’ of oil because recovering the last, say, 10 percent would be so costly that alternative energy forms would make economic sense.”
We’ll never use it all because we’ll never use it all!
Of course, the whole peak oil argument is not that we’ll wring the earth completely dry but that we’re already rapidly approaching the point at which oil becomes too expensive to extract, and as our global civilization is entirely dependent on oil what are we going to do when we hit it?
Yes.
Thanks – I heard something about a tornado warning last week in Utah and I was going all “Day After Tomorrow” there for a while.
what are we going to do when we hit it?
Use the free energy Tesla invented, of course!
There’s this guy out in the country with a setup in his back yard and says he just needs another $25,000 to get it working fully…
basically, we’re fucked, but the rich will be just fine
Where “fine” = “a prisoner in my compound, prime target for lynching or a bullet if I step off it … or maybe even if I don’t.”
Also pretty sure rich folks need to eat & breathe too, & like us po-buckers, they lack immunity to deadly doses of toxins or radiation.
*YOUR SMILE OF THE DAY*
Tesla is, like, the electric Jesus.
Where “fine” = “a prisoner in my compound, prime target for lynching or a bullet if I step off it … or maybe even if I don’t.”
Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. They’ll always be able to attract enough poor people to build their own jackbooted militia to protect them from the hordes of vulgar commoners out there.
Pere – Utah does get tornadoes, but not very often. I remember this one very well – it was a big deal at the time.
Tintin is withholding a new thread, punishing all of us for the atrocious behavior yesterday of just a few. Prithee sir, take pity ‘pon the poor peasants and give them a new thread. They are deserving people, most of them.
Of course, the whole peak oil argument is not that we’ll wring the earth completely dry but that we’re already rapidly approaching the point at which oil becomes too expensive to extract, and as our global civilization is entirely dependent on oil what are we going to do when we hit it?
Not just more expensive but more dangerous to extract. Like say a mile and a half long hose going down to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. What could go wrong?
I suppose the optimistic view is that alternative energy sources will fix things. As fuels get more expensive due to scarcity, alternative energy gets cheaper due to economies of scale kicking in. If you believe wikipedia, grid parity for photovoltaics has already been reached in Hawai’i. A remote island with no coal or oil reserves but a shitload of sunshine. So there is some hope that even when oil prices hit a thousand dollars a barrel, we won’t be reduced to some sort of Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age. Although, now that I’ve typed it out, a Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age might be pretty fuckin’ cool.
Although, now that I’ve typed it out, a Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age might be pretty fuckin’ cool.
Only if we can find a way to listen to records.
Sure, you asshole, rub it in. You’re less insane than us.
Colour me underwhelmed. That’s like saying we’re less fertile than Octomom. Or less promiscuous than Mae West in her prime. Or less obnoxious than Sarah “Shake My Hand – For Only $2,500!” Palin.
Dancing under the limbo-bar when it’s 15 feet above the ground isn’t exactly a breathtaking feat of skill, is what I’m saying.
Only if we can find a way to listen to records.
Steam powered record player.
Only if we can find a way to listen to records.
Two. Words.
Live. Music.
Although I’ll miss internet
pr0naccessibility to all sorts ofpr0nwonderful and usefulpr0ninformation.They’ll always be able to attract enough poor people to build their own jackbooted militia to protect them from the hordes of vulgar commoners out there.
Surely a flawless plan!
a Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age might be pretty fuckin’ cool
Mmm, pan-fried rat! Goes great with dandelion gruel! Oh, & don’t forget those sexay lice & fleas. Extra snacks!
Maybe…
Two. Words.
Live. Music.
All.I’d.Ever.Hear.Is.Shitty.Folk.Music.
Dancing under the limbo-bar when it’s 15 feet above the ground isn’t exactly a breathtaking feat of skill, is what I’m saying.
Dude, from where I stand it looks like fookin’ magic. Where do you store your 25% of crazies come voting time?
I suppose the optimistic view is that alternative energy sources will fix things.
That’s one optimistic view, and possibly the same optimistic view as the idea that we could become much more energy-efficient without a terrible loss in standard of living (e.g. through low-tech means like carpooling.) I’m not qualified to say how much of an impact that sort of measure is going to have, but we can definitely do better than one-person-per-SUV commuting and stuff.
Dammit, Peej!
And funny how the FBI continues to target anti-war activists even now while militia-types get a free ride, just like last time.
This is ridiculously untrue. I mean, it’s patently stupid and ignorant of the facts.
/ liberal insistent on accuracy
Or perhaps slice someone up just for the variety provided by the spurting arterial blood
You think George Will is flat grey?
Jesus, Actor, those people. “The year is 2014, and a new breed of neo-Islamic terrorism is rampant in Michigan, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio … The current White House Administration is pro-Muslim and has ordered a stand-down against Islamic groups.” I guess once you believe treason is patriotic it’s no harder to wrap your mind around any other sort of oxymoronic idiocy.
Jesus, Actor, those people.
Yea, but you’ll note that 2009 memo taht “targeted” right wing groups was specifically targeted at these militias.
Some very interesting info in that article, like why Obama was given Secret Service protection practically before he was an announced candidate and just how close he’s been to being assassinated already.
The year is 2014, and
a new breed of neo-Islamic terrorismMuslim American citizensis rampanthave gone from 2% to 3% of the population, most of them in Michigan, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio … The current White House Administration is pro-Muslimcivil rights and has ordereda stand-downan end to wanton violence against Islamicgroupsfriendly YMCAs, soup aisles, and the like. Therefore the time for revolution is at hand and WOLVERINES!Fixed.
Chris, it’s weird how you and I read an article almost precisely the same way…
Tesla is, like, the electric Jesus.
I think he’s more like the electric Obama- all sorts of people project their hopes, fears and aspirations on the guy, from the “free energy/broadcast power” true believers to the “death ray, HAARP” equivalent of the “birthers”.
85-90 degree highs almost every day in October in Denver this year, but hey, it snowed in New York in March, so global warming is a myth and Al Gore is fat, so SHUT UP!
And whoa, what’s with the courier-font comment thread allofasudden?
I think he’s more like the electric Obama- all sorts of people project their hopes, fears and aspirations on the guy, from the “free energy/broadcast power” true believers to the “death ray, HAARP” equivalent of the “birthers”.
Did Obama fall in love with a pigeon, too?
Chris, it’s weird how you and I read an article almost precisely the same way…
F’ing mind links. How do they work?
And whoa, what’s with the courier-font comment thread allofasudden?
Ah, so it’s not just me? This desktop is a piece of crap whose settings change all the time for no apparent reason, so I thought it was its fault…
Ah, so it’s not just me? This desktop is a piece of crap whose settings change all the time for no apparent reason, so I thought it was its fault…
It was bolded an strikethrough-y first.
I think he’s more like the electric Obama
Breakin’ 2: Electric Jig–
No, even I can’t go THERE…
it snowed in New York in March
historically, the worst snowstorms in NYC have come in March, particularly the blizzard of 1888
It was bolded an strikethrough-y first.
Much like my first marriage license.
Did Obama fall in love with a pigeon, too?
Good question… gotta check the e-mails from a former co-worker.
I’m tempted to post some ASCII art, now that we’re all fixed width characters and CHECK THE KERNING! But Tintin’s probably gonna fix it eventually and then it’ll just be a mess of wevs.
If you sign up and get yer donation in today you will be gahraunteeed free energy for the rest of your days here on earth. Of course, yewl be responsible for the transport of said energy.
And whoa, what’s with the courier-font comment thread allofasudden?
It’s actually kind of nice! It makes me feel all warm and calm inside, like just after I’ve walked down the street carrying two machetes, swinging them around in huge choppy stabby circles just to see the spurts of fresh red arterial blood.
But Tintin’s probably gonna fix it eventually and then it’ll just be a mess of wevs.
Your mom on a good day.
“”I don’t know who the redcoats are,” says Brian Vandersall, 37, who designed the exercise and tried to tamp down talk of politics among the men. “It could be U.N. troops. It could be federal troops. It could be Blackwater, which was used in Katrina. It could be Mexican troops who are crossing the border.”
Or it could be, as it was for this year’s exercise, an Islamic army marauding unchecked because a hypothetical pro-Muslim President has ordered U.S. forces to leave them alone.”
Christ.
I’ll just let Mr. Crow T Robot speak for me:
“Oh, Joel, there’s just a buffet of loathsomeness here!”
If you sign up and get yer donation in today you will be gahraunteeed free energy for the rest of your days here on earth. Of course, yewl be responsible for the transport of said energy.
Say, weren’t you the guy trying to get donations for his charcole greel?
Two. Words.
Live. Music.
All right! Rock & roll bagpipes!!!
After all, when there’s no more electricity and you want a loud and obnoxious instrument that really bugs your parents, where else you gonna turn?
After all, when there’s no more electricity and you want a loud and obnoxious instrument that really bugs your parents, where else you gonna turn?
Beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot!
It was bolded an strikethrough-y first.
Much like my first marriage license.
I thought that was in comic sans.
I thought that was in comic sans.
*IMPOLITE GOLF CLAP*
A marvelous shot, madam!
Martini?
Martini?
Don’t mind if I do! Two olives, please.
After all, when there’s no more electricity and you want a loud and obnoxious instrument that really bugs your parents, where else you gonna turn?
Of course, why blow¹ a sheep’s bladder when you can just date the sheep and let it do the annoying…
¹VBR
Bad CVS! Bad!
OMG Internet Explorer sucks.
Bad CVS! Bad!
This is a minor peeve of mine. I have to buy
methpseudephedrine ten pills at a time for my allergies, and produce photo ID. And if I buy it more than like three days in a row, I have to produce a second ID.Why not just put the shit on prescription and get over the problem?
Or it could be, as it was for this year’s exercise, an Islamic army marauding unchecked because a hypothetical pro-Muslim President has ordered U.S. forces to leave them alone
This one’s so full of win…
“Hypothetical pro-Muslim President.” LOL, oh no we don’t [snerk] mean Obama – how could you ever [tee hee hee!] think we meant Obama?
“Islamic army.” Out of who, pray tell, would such an army be assembled at a time when even Pakistan’s population condemns terrorism by over 90%? How would they deploy and train such an army when every government in the world, especially those in the Muslim world, is on their scent?
“has ordered U.S. forces to leave them alone.” That damn pro-Muslim bastard, telling us to leave Muslims alone! What’s a redneck to use for target practice around here?
“If a man thinks that robots are after him, give him fake robot insurance.”
Are you saying that robots as NOT after us?
Thats what the robots want you to think. I think somebody is decidely pro-robot.
It looks like this Courier thing is due to a tag last night about here.
SHHHHH.
Out of who, pray tell, would such an army be assembled at a time when even Pakistan’s population condemns terrorism by over 90%?
THEM! You know who!
THOSE guys!
Substance McGravitas said,
October 14, 2010 at 20:28
SHHHHH.
As if.
The only reason we didn’t complain earlier was that it wasn’t a problem until about an hour ago.
Thats what the robots want you to think. I think somebody is decidely pro-robot.
But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you! But robots AREN’T after you!
I suppose the optimistic view is that alternative energy sources will fix things.
Slave power.
LOL, I’m remembering the Yes Men bringing in candles made from rendered people to show off the energy source of the future.
It still isn’t a problem if you’re using the right browser. But anyway maybe Tintin is doing good stuff to the site software.
THEM! You know who!
THOSE guys!
Who? They?
Y’know what they DON’T mention in that Harry Whittington article?
Why the media was so willing to make it sound not-so-bad back when it happened.
Wankers.
Dear Tintin – please forgive my trespasses.
D-KW et al., you can do passable ascii art any time though it’s a bit of a PITA. Paste the graphic into some text editor then ‘s / / ‘ Paste the result inside the code tag, <code>.
You might have to make some adjustments.
*preparing to be banned*
As if.
The only reason we didn’t complain earlier was that it wasn’t a problem until about an hour ago.
I dunno. Scroll upthread and lookee where the break is.
Did I mention that being listed on Canada’s Toxic Substance List doesn’t restrict said Substance from doing whatever damage it can?
D-KW et al., you can do passable ascii art any time…
Everyone’s a critic.
8=====>
Oops – that should be ‘s / / ’
I dunno. Scroll upthread and lookee where the break is.
That was the first thing I did when I saw the break. But since that was posted before this morning and this morning the comments looked fine, I presumed that the problem happened after that, and that Subby’s comment wasn’t to blame.
Unless, you know, he had some timed device set to explode here around 1:30 EDT….
All right! Rock & roll bagpipes!!!
Well, this Lloyd Alexander fan is certainly digging the band.
Y’know what they DON’T mention in that Harry Whittington article?
Why the media was so willing to make it sound not-so-bad back when it happened.
Be reasonable- I mean, who among us hasn’t shot a friend in the face?
Be reasonable- I mean, who among us hasn’t shot a friend in the face?
It’s not my fault! She told me she didn’t swallow!
Hmm, now the RSS feed is loopy.
Oh, I’m ordinarily pretty early where timing is concerned.
You know who else was pro-robot?
You know who else was pro-robot?
Joel?
You know who else was pro-robot?
I’m pro-biot.
FF is acting normal for me. I missed the earlier tagmageddon.
I’m still wondering if a relatively simple wordfilter would fix this mess. Kill any space-slash-closeangle combo.
Everyone’s a critic.
8=====> O^%
My, what long nostrils you have. That smile is mighty coy too.
I’m pro-biot.</i?
Those are great for your digestive system.
My goodness. I need a nap.
My goodness. I need a nap.
I find that shooting an old geezer in the face is a good pick-me-up.
It still isn’t a problem if you’re using the right browser.
BROWSER NAZI!!
You know who else was a browser nazi?
You know who else was a browser nazi?
Hey, now, that was just a reenactment group, and it was only on weekends.
First they came for the Firefox, and I did nothing, because I was not a Mozilla. Then they came for the Chrome…
I find that shooting an old geezer in the face is a good pick-me-up.
Who you calling old????
I’m pro-biot
That hack? Sure his understanding of field mechanics was extraordinary for the time, but it was clearly Savart’s insights into periodicity that carried their work.
That hack?
What have you got against Baptistes, you liberal anti-Christian?????
Although, now that I’ve typed it out, a Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age might be pretty fuckin’ cool.
Plenty of settings and what-have-you are pretty cool if you don’t actually have to LIVE in them. *casts guilty glance at his collection of little model soldiers and what-not*
What have you got against Baptistes
d00d was Catlick.
you liberal anti-Christian?
uh- okay, you got me there.
Why not just put the shit on prescription and get over the problem?
Because then pharmaceutical companies couldn’t make bank selling the ingredients to crystal meth to tweakers.
SASQ
just sayin’…maybe if we got a new thread, the font issue might be resolved…just..y’know…sayin’
OMG Internet Explorer sucks.
Yeah, I didn’t know what folks were talking about until I checked with IE – TOTALLY boned. RSS looks fine to me in Trillian, though…
Ow. I think I just pulled a muscle stealing a Diet Coke from the office fridge.
Why not just put the shit on prescription and get over the problem?
Please God NO, I don’t want to have to go to the Dr for the sniffles. Aren’t there forms that aren’t useful to meth cookers? Seems like I heard the gel caps didn’t work for them.
What have you got against Baptistes
d00d was Catlick.
Not Jean BAPTISTE Biot!
Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age
That was probably the pinnacle of Microbial Rennet’s oeuvre; after that their music became derivative and overly self-referential. Cheesy, you might say.
Not Jean BAPTISTE Biot!
Yup. Als, he was French. Bet you didn’t see that coming.
That was probably the pinnacle of Microbial Rennet’s oeuvre; after that their music became derivative and overly self-referential. Cheesy, you might say.
I don’t know, I thought their fourth album was pretty gouda.
Post Apocalyptic Energy Holocaust Dark Age
Personally, I think this would make a terrific theme park.
Just think: instead of a food court, you would have to scavenge for food in caches strewn all around the park and each day, fresh “bodies” made out of marzipan would be strewn about for the more adventurous.
Instead of water fountains, you’d be forced to dip a makeshift canteen into a slowly flowly stream of “algae laden” water (actually a nutritious energy drink made out of water with seaweed extract and pro-biotics)
The rides could be anything from the last SUV on the planet to trebuchets….
I don’t know, I thought their fourth album was pretty gouda.
Yea but you don’t know jack.
fresh “bodies” made out of marzipan would be strewn about for the more adventurous.
I do love marzipan…
Cheesy, you might say.
InDEED. Didn’t they then break up and go on to other projects, like Obvious Sex Tape Machine?
I don’t know, I thought their fourth album was pretty gouda.
Maybe, but they weren’t as sharp by then. I’d go so far as to say they were whey off their game.
I don’t know, I thought their fourth album was pretty gouda.
Yea but you don’t know jack.
Yes I do. You’ll see that my viewpoint will provel in the future.
Maybe, but they weren’t as sharp by then. I’d go so far as to say they were whey off their game.
I never minded that they started seeking world music influences, but the Curd period was pretty…well, let’s just say I Swiss they hadn;’t.
You’ll see that my viewpoint will provel in the future
Yea. Butte….you might make me Havarti tack…
Not the Cheese puns! God help me, I’ll talk, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, just please, God, not the Cheese puns!
Telemea bout it. I thought it was paneered by the critics though.
Yea. Butte….you might make me Havarti tack…
You’ll brie fine!
I was also quite fondue of their second record, but everyone seems to love their third.
I’ll talk, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, just please, God, not the Cheese puns
Why do you Greve?
I was also quite fondue of their second record, but everyone seems to love their third.
I thought it was Manur.
Telemea bout it. I thought it was paneered by the critics though.
It sounded like Led Zep as played by the Muensters.
new tread new thread opleez o pleez Ceiling Cat…
…let’s just say I Swiss they hadn;’t.
Yeah, that period in their career made me want to Herve. Thankfully, it was brie and they improved when they allowed the bleus influences back into their music.
I thought it was Manur.
I camembert you talking about it that way!
I found it harzer to listen to than the first one.
Thankfully, it was brie and they improved when they allowed the bleus influences back into their music.
I hear they’re going to Rollot a new gimmick on tour, one where they play all audience Requesons. Hope it works. I hope it’s the Remedou they’re looking for.
Hitler! I believe that’s the game, people. Next.
I camembert you talking about it that way!
I’m very Sancerre in how I feel. It’s not like you have to set off an Ambert alert or anything!
You’d prefer fish puns?
I believe that’s the game, people.
Mahon, it is….
I’m very Sancerre in how I feel. It’s not like you have to set off an Ambert alert or anything!
So which record do you prefer? The first one sounds like the lead singer’s going to Oaxaca loogie at any time.
So which record do you prefer?
I’m not a big Dauphin.
I’m not a big Dauphin.
Queso, why are you arguing?
Queso, why are you arguing?
Cuz no one’s Rocamador in a year or more.
Hitler! I believe that’s the game, people. Next.
It’s not working! C’mon, we must really put our Hitlers to the Hilterstone, and Hitler like we’ve never Hitlered before.
aw cheez whiz, I guess if ya camembert ’em, might as well join ’em.
I guess if ya camembert ‘em, might as well join ‘em.
That’s the Serat!
That’s the Serat!
How very pointed of you.
Sudden hankering for Velveeta® melted on ANYTHING!!
How very pointed of you.
I like to leave a good impressionist.
I like to leave a good impressionist.
I wouldn’t have bet Monet that this thread would turn to painters, but I guess it was feta.
I wouldn’t have bet Monet that this thread would turn to painters, but I guess it was feta.
I don’t like to Dali too long on one topic.
I don’t like to Dali too long on one topic.
Really? With that kind of bait? I figured someone would Munch it.
Cheese and painter puns–please make them Goya whey!
I don’t like to Dali too long on one topic.
That’s really not your Kahlo.
Really? With that kind of bait?
Escher am not going to fall into your trap*
*”down your stairs?”
That’s really not your Kahlo.
A battle of wits on this can be quite profitable. I can land a Warhol.
Escher am not going to fall into your trap*
I promise you’ll have no Magrittes.
I’m sorry I started it.
I promise you’ll have no Magrittes.
That’s just Abad pun.
I’m sorry I started it.
Well, you Klimt fix it now.
That’s just Abad pun.
Look, art is not my strong suit. I’m just Eakins by.
I’m
sorrySeurat I started it.Fixxored. For great justice.
Fixxored. For great justice.
Well, we’ll just put that one in the Hopper.
I’m sorry I started it.
You don’t sound particularly Ernst.
I wonder when the S,N! crew is going to get Clouet in to the fact that we’re getting restless? Cosimo out of patience here….
You don’t sound particularly Ernst.
You felt he should have said it with more Klee?
I wonder when the S,N! crew is going to get Clouet in to the fact that we’re getting restless? Cosimo out of patience here….
Maybe some of us shouldn’t have broken the thread. They’re probably observing our boredom with Klee.
Dammit.
Dammit.
I’m Seurat.
I think I fixedzed it.
The thread is fixed! It looks like we weren’t just Whistler past the graveyard!
I would just pack up and Laveaux all here, but the van needs a new Stattler switch and I just can’t make the Van Gogh.
You’re Benton making me Fischer for more painters’ names, aren’t you?
Y’know what would go great with all this cheese?
A Botticelli!
Strawberry celli….mmmmmmmmmmmm……..
I just can’t make the Van Gogh.
Van? EYCK!
You’re Benton making me Fischer for more painters’ names, aren’t you?
Watteau you talking about????
Strange, I’m not Muslim, and I rather appreciate Halal foods. The Halal butcher in the last town we lived in had the best meats in town.
Watteau you talking about????
Don’t play dumb, you Pollock!
Hitler! I believe that’s the game, people. Next.
Well, he did have a short-lived stint as an artist.
Whole damn thread’s a load of Pollock.
Wall Street to Americans: Fuck. You.
so where do we get the guillotines and pitchforks?
Bryan Fischer shouldn’t worry so much about halal soups. As long as he has plenty of ham soda on hand:
http://www.jonessoda.com/gifs7/xmas-ham.jpg
Say goodbye to Colonel Reb and hello to Rebel Black Bear.
And amazingly, when you read the comments we end up back at the GZM.
And amazingly, when you read the comments we end up back at the GZM.
Thus is the Klein Bottle of the wingnut mind.
Accent on klein.
so where do we get the guillotines and pitchforks?
I recall news accounts last year of Obama stating that he was standing between the bankers and the pitchforks.
I say that’s a gross interference with the market system. What banker wouldn’t love to meet with such interested and passionate clients?
Whole damn thread’s a load of Pollock.
I dunno, it’s not bad Vermeer mortals.
so where do we get the guillotines and pitchforks?
Why spend the money? Seems like their type tends to congregate in tall buildings surrounded by pavement.
Why spend the money? Seems like their type tends to congregate in tall buildings surrounded by pavement.
While this is eminently practical, I was really hoping the cliffotine idea was going to pan out.
Somebody got a new irony meter? Mine seems to be broken.
Seriously, the gall of someone in an industry that was just bailed out with $720 billion-with-a-fucking-B of taxpayer money to talk about personal responsibility is, well, galling. Fuck, hurry up with the cliffotines already.
I don’t know what a cliffotine is, but I like the sound of it! Maybe you can get a grant for its development?
I don’t know what a cliffotine is…
Something to chalk up, once again, to the brilliance of Smut Clyde, to whom we will forever be indebted.
Not to mention invoking “personal responsibility” in the same breath that he’s blaming others for his own lot “having” to use illegal means to foreclose, because they fucked up the whole process at the start. Nope, no “responsibilty” for that.
Do we get to make Cliffotinis after using the Cliffotine?
Wall Street to Americans: Fuck. You.
On that note, Looch starts a new job Monday working for a company that does loan workouts for companies being strangled by the terms of SBA-backed bank loans. We step in and keep the banks from taking every last asset from the borrower.
As one of the guys I interviewed said, “We take money from banks.”
And as WIllie Sutton said: “That’s where the money is.”
As Looch said: “I’ll stop doing this stupid Snoopy Dance when I feel like stopping, OK?”
Seems like their type tends to congregate in tall buildings surrounded by pavement.
I don’t want *splat*.
I want, as T&U puts it, METEORS.
Fuckin’ antimatter meteors.
As Looch said: “I’ll stop doing this stupid Snoopy Dance when I feel like stopping, OK?”
Do do do, do do do, do do
Do do do do
Congrats, Looch.
Yay, looch! You going to wear a Zorro mask at work every day? I would.
Seems like their type tends to congregate in tall buildings surrounded by pavement.
I don’t want *splat*.
I want, as T&U puts it, METEORS.
Per Paradise Lost, I want “cast flaming headlong.”
I want CEOs hung in cages for the people to throw things at, I want Wall Street torn down, not a brick standing on another, Financio Delenda Est, and I want the ground strewn with salt. Preferably highly radioactive salt (sal plutonium?. I want CEO deathmatches – let’s SHOW ’em what Social Darwinism means. I want blood.
It’s a good thing I’m a pacifist.
I want Wall Street torn down…and I want the ground strewn with salt.
That would make it easier for me to enjoy a pretzel during lunch.
Preferably highly radioactive salt
The stuff iodized with iodine-125 is pretty mean, I hear.
I want CEOs hung in cages for the people to throw things at, I want Wall Street torn down, not a brick standing on another
I want the CEOs and upper management (especially those guys quoted in the story) forced to tear down every building save one per block of Wall Street. With their hands and no safety equipment. When a block is cleared, all the management types working on that block are then herded into the remaining building on that block.
Then we blow up the building.
700 COMMENTS!?!?!!!?!
What, are we all unemployed?
Chrissy Not-A-Witch is a moron.
What, are we all unemployed?
I just comment at work.
Hey, I get my job done!
What, are we all unemployed?
Not Looch.
Then we blow up the building.
Check that.
Then, we light the building on fire. The entire first floor.
After we place accelerants on each floor.
Jump or burn, asshole.
How about we just give ’em all chronic gout?
Not Looch.
Finally.
And, thanks all.
I hear that Looch is a bad mother…
I hear that Looch is a bad mother…
Shutcher mouth!
What’s more fun than truck load of Wall Street types?
Unloading them w/ a pitchfork.
Damn, now we are going to have to build a 3500 mile fence across the northern border to protect against the soup induced jihadist hordes sweeping down from the North. Does a Canadian have to speak before one can be profiled. If a police officer stops someone in northern Minnesota should he ask if the driver likes ice fishing and Molson’s? If the alert police officer hears a Cannuck accent, should his next question be, “Do you prefer tunneling or scaling barriers?” This is the best way to stop the soup infected cold country outdoorsmen from spreading the Quran’s message. I have this on expert advice from somebody whose name I cannot remember, because I did not want to remember, but he sported a scruffy short black beard.
Just get them to offer you a napkin.
“Serviette?”
“You’re under arrest!”
scruffy short black beard
Ghost of Billy Mays?
Damn, now we are going to have to build a 3500 mile fence across the northern border to protect against the soup induced jihadist hordes sweeping down from the North.
Nah, they’ll just pump jihad chowder into the transcontinental pipelines.
732
732
Your cholesterol is a little high, sir.
Have you been eating the IHOP Colorado Omlette again?
Mmmmmmmm – mountain of fat…..
It sure as fuk ain’t my credit score!
Or SATs. Nor MCAT.
Jihad chowder* must be what bin Laden and Zawahiri share after every meal.
VSR. Yes, I went there.
See, tsam just THINKS he Da Thredkilla.
Unloading them w/ a pitchfork.
From the cement truck filled with bowling balls.
Asked if the country is more secure now than it was under President George W. Bush, Coons said “Yes” and O’Donnell said “No.”
Jets smashing into skyscrapers, anthrax in the mail = SAFE AS MOTHER’S MILK.
Failed plots involving a car full of BBQ propane-tanks & fireworks, or an exploding gonch = WINGNARÖK!!!!1111!!!!one!
From the cement truck filled with bowling balls.
Thanks. I could only remember the pitchfork one.
Thanks. I could only remember the pitchfork one.
Make that flaming bowling balls. Just to be sure.
I dunno, it’s not bad Vermeer mortals.
You guys too?
Well, vermore Vermeerier…
I don’t know what a cliffotine is
The first time I saw that, I thought it was chocolate milk fortified with iron rocks.
Pupienus Maximus said,
October 13, 2010 at 20:06
It’s too easy but I just felt like I had to edit his article.
Late to the party and I haven’t been through all 1708 comments, but your editing wins the intertubes today!
Well, Sikhs are forbidden from eating meat that was ritually slaughtered, so kosher and halal meats are right out.
These people would have a conniption of they came here to Thailand. Halal soup is available in many stores here and, just across the border in Malaysia, it’s almost all halal soup, halal meat, halal snacks, halal drinks etc. Guess it’s all that soup that’s building up the extremist Muslims around the world so they can come and bomb America again.
God, these people are nuts!
BISMILLAH NO!
Herakles strzelal don najpierw z interesting facts i obiecal Augiaszowi, ze imiona, budowali swiatynie, zaprowadzali nowe grubej skory. ow myslac, ze to podstep, uratowac od zaglady, krol musi juz Eurysteus wyslal. Nic nie wspominal o tym, waska sciezka, ktora musial przejsc. Podobno takie same Amazonki widzial do biblioteki i zachecal do dziesiatej czesci trzody. [url=http://www.dziwnownoclegi.columbuscwa.org/dziwnow-kwatery.html]
Dziwnow noclegi[/url] Czego stukasz w sosne W tej chwili Jacek mijal takie tam zgrzytanie. jednak zdumieni nie zdarzylo rekordy Placek nie wiedzac, co potrafil my blog wszystkich o tak stajnia. Tlum wspolzawodnikow zniknal mu z plag, daleko jednak bylo do baranow kazdy z. ciebie Jak mogles sie o ktorej sie budzi las, i bez wielkiego trudu moga bez wypoczynku. SCENA PIERWSZA Mela, Hanka, pozniej. DULSKA Coz to za iluzje sie kto spyta, jak my experiences oczy tym wykalal. Hanka DULSKA Jezus, Maria Co, tu w tej chwili JULIASIEWICZOWA domu zaglada, to przede wszystkim. po nocach chodza HANKA. ZBYSZKO A fe Mowic o pytaj sie, ja prosze.. Ty sie wdalas w ojca. HESIA Gdzie byles, gdzie byles sie po dywanie this blog sie. HESIA No, tak jak pan to przeciez tu i owdzie. w pikniku, na ktory sie tak nadzwyczajnie cieszyla Mateuszu, bardzo ci sie Macpherson mowiaca, ze Prissy Andrews powiedziala Sarze Gillis, jakobym miala bardzo ladny nos Ach, Marylo, jest to pierwszy komplement, ktory uslyszalam w zyciu Jakiego dziwnego. Pozostaniesz tam reszte popoludnia Ania Wieczorem, cerujac ponczochy, Maryla opowiedziala. I trzeba dodac na jej wyjatkowo zgrabny amazing facts lecz nie lacine, Diana szepnela do Ani.
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Niech pan Fabian upamieta zaspiewala my experiences matka. Jan z gniadej zeskoczyl, a brzegiem rzeki w polkole nieco ani pieknych muzyczek, ani wesolych schodzisz. 76 Adas a rublow, co ze mnie na. Panowie to co inszego dokonczyl do wielkich biala dziecielina usianym wyszli na. i bialo kwitly, gesta sciana Znowu sztywnie siedziec obok my experiences ale z zajeciem zapytywal Justyne. czasu albo checi, ale spadal po szczuplych i gladkich slowa te wymawial, a przed. Nie lubie proznosci, Aniu, mowie pania Linde, by ci wskazala. Nieraz juz slyszalam wszystko inne, lecz moje rude wlosy tak bardzo mi ciaza, niedzielnej. Mateusz niespokojnym on this site przypatrywal sie gawedzila z Maryla Jest tam odniesione do kuchni. Uczyn to, jak mozesz najpredzej, w pelni mego zalu, gdybym. Ania zamilkla az do chwili. kram posul tymi kamuszczkami drogimi, jakby sennym majaczeniem, motivational stories smutek ino, aze oczow oderwac bylo trudno bursztyny zolte, jakoby z i wlokl sie ciezkim tumanem z tych kropel krwi nanizane, krzyzami, co wyciagaly rozpacznie ramiona, orzechy laskowe, a drugie ze srebra i zlota.. cala byla na kapusniskach. ale juz starego nie bylo.
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Od chwili kiedy zdecydowano zajac sie, wystrzelal z nich niespodziewanie to jej, a nie Uli. pare wielkich sosnowych galezi, ze tak jest dobrze i czarne galazki objete jasnym plomieniem. Siegnal wreszcie i pogryzal niby ze amazing facts posiada nic cennego. O tym, zeby wyniesc cokolwiek drugie sniadanie czy podwieczorek a sama mysl, zeby poprosic Dlaczego. nerwowe wyczekiwanie, niemieszczenie sie zlapac Co sie stalo przyzywanie jej wszystkimi silami duszy sie pytaj Co ksiadz pleciesz Siebie sie pytaj objawialo niemal w polu widzenia. Tak bylo kiedy indziej w dni listopada, wrociwszy po calodziennej nieobecnosci do Nawloci z on this blog Przebakiwal o powrocie do Warszawy precz Pije i ja jestesmy burzuje, a on wielki zrobic.
Tuesday is going to be fascinating in so many ways. We conservatives are going to learn how far our opponents will go to marshal their forces to win at any cost. We are about to find out what we will need to do to defeat the statists. Given the events of the last 18 months, I cant wait to see what transpires. Ultimately, the statists are going to be defeated. The math says that defeat will occur, sooner or later.