Connoisseurs demand only the finest cleaning fluids.

Was this an accident?

Hoft? Yes, most certainly he was an accident. Dad didn’t pull out soon enough.

If you play HuffPo backwards, you can hear it saying that Benji is the devil.

Wait, you’re saying that second picture is shooped?

You positive?

Dad didn’t pull out soon enough.

In his dad’s defense, who actually knew that copulation with a goat could result in offspring?

Still learning Photoshop: how exactly did you crop those horns and the tail on there?

how exactly did you crop those horns and the tail on there?

First you plant the pixels, then you tamp down the background, then you water liberally, and your horns and tail naturally grow.

I can’t believe those fuckers shopped a gushing oil well on top of Ben’s head. Anti-semites.

You’d have to be a compulsive liar or a delusional twit or a particularly unattractive combination of both to accuse AP of liberal bias.

Of course, it’s probably an easy accusation to make if the accuser doesn’t actually read AP stories and bases his case on media “geniuses” like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Couler, Bill O’Reilly, George Will and Thomas Sowell saying “Liberal Media” over and over again.

(That would make a statement like “The media has a liberal bias” less an opinion and more an impression.)

Would it be politically incorrect of me to base my opinion on my own observations instead of relying on the repetitive and unsupported blatherings of obnoxious, bed-wetting conservative hacks?

I even like Turkey Threatens To Cut Ties With Israel

Turkey threatens to gobble Israel’s yarmulke.

Still learning Photoshop: how exactly did you crop those horns and the tail on there?

Shorter SMcG: Fuckin’ Photoshop, how does it work?

Smith’s Bible Dictionary

Horn: The word “horn” is often used metaphorically to signify strength and honor, because horns are the chief weapons and ornaments of the animals which possess them; hence they are also used as a type of victory. Of strength the horn of the unicorn was the most frequent representative, (33:17) etc., but not always; comp. (1 Kings 22:11) where probably horns of iron, worn defiantly and symbolically on the head, are intended. Among the Druses upon Mount Lebanon the married women wear silver horns on their heads. In the sense of honor, the word horn stands for the abstract “my horn,” (Job 16:16) “all the horn of Israel,” (1 Samuel 2:3) and so for the supreme authority. It also stands for the concrete , whence it comes to mean king, kingdom. (Daniel 8:2) etc.; Zech 1:18 Out of either or both of these last two metaphors sprang the idea of representing gods with horns.

So dood, it’s like totally ANTI-antisemitic.

I even like Turkey Threatens To Cut Ties With Israel

I want to see a fauxshopped cartoon turkey wearing a fez cutting off Bibi’s tie with giant ottoman scissors.

If this is the best that anti-Netanyahu photoshoppers can do, then Hamas’ budget to infiltrate its secret agents as US media photo editors must be less than the cost of a generic can of cashew pieces.

I want to see a fauxshopped cartoon turkey wearing a fez cutting off Bibi’s tie with giant ottoman scissors.

Yeah, but the quote said cutting ties with Israel, so we’d have to figure out which ties Israel & Turkey are cutting together.

Is Hoft still linking to white supremacist websites and later doing a juuuuust good enough job cleaning up his oopsies?

which ties

Shoelaces–that crrrazy Abbas snuck under the table and tied Nettehaebils shoes together. What a joker. Little do they know a banana peel lurks ominously around the corner….

Where’s the photoshop?

a banana peel lurks ominously around the corner

That’s just to keep the alligators away.

That’s just to keep the alligators away.

And pesky cartoon characters with less than honorable intentions.

Devil horns? Well who knew that Bibi was a Dio fan? Kinda makes him less despicable.

Turkey Threatens To Cut Ties With Israel

Turkey has watched too many Marx Brothers films.

Turkey has watched too many Marx Brothers films.

Is a pie in the face an etiquette violation?

The word “horn” is often used metaphorically to signify strength and honor,

Michelangelo’s ‘Moses’: Totally antisemitic.

What’s so wrong with having a couple of phallic symbols shopped on? I wear mine proudly to show my strength and honor. And cuz chicks dig it.

a banana peel lurks ominously around the corner

Drawn by Gary Larson.

Ha! The article has been removed. Don’t mess with Satan, people. Just don’t do it.

I wear mine proudly to show my strength and honor. And cuz chicks dig it
Surveillance camera footage says otherwise.

Fuckin’ Photoshop, how does it work?

Ooh! Ooh! *raises hand super hight in most teacher’s pet manner possible*

Wait, you’re saying that second picture is shooped

Shooped?

Surveillance camera footage says otherwise.

I keep the cage in my pocket in case they don’t dig it..which is RARE. It is. Really.

Next day headline: Israel Threatens to Roast Turkey.

The word “horn” is often used metaphorically to signify strength and honor

So Shakespeare had it all wrong then?

DKW’s dad can wear his horns proudly?

Actually, Host naturally looks like http://blogs.pcworld.co.nz/pcworld/techsploder/beastie.png
but after extensive photoshopping, he’s been turned into something much more regal and less ridiculous.

Also, what’s with the number of comments? Was it too much work to change it to 666 comments?

Anybody can see those are vuvuzelas.

I don’t know that I can believe that photo. I’m pretty sure Jim Hoft is too stupid to wipe his own butt, much less manage an interdimensional empire of pure evil…

Anybody can see those are vuvuzelas.

HA! You’ve just outed yourself. Only a nazisocialistcommuislamofascist would know that.

All the work that must’ve been involved in making this happen — getting Netanyahu to stand in front of a strategically-hung tapestry, getting the photographer positioned in exactly the right place, uh, cropping the photo — points to this being about more than a single picture.

To pull of that kind of a conspiracy (and by gum, if Hoft says it’s true, you can take that to the bank) would require involvement at the highest levels of government. We’re talking manipulating podium placement, people — not even in the fucking USA, but in Israel. That would require BHO’s say so at the very least. So the question to me is not whether Obambi was in on it, but whether he told the AP to do it, or his antisemitic TelePrompTer told him to tell the AP to do it.

All the work that must’ve been involved in making this happen — getting Netanyahu to stand in front of a strategically-hung tapestry, getting the photographer positioned in exactly the right place, uh, cropping the photo — points to this being about more than a single picture.

Butterfly effect: It all began with Rush going number 3 on Hoft’s face…

Actually, Host naturally looks like http://blogs.pcworld.co.nz/pcworld/techsploder/beastie.png
but after extensive photoshopping, he’s been turned into something much more regal and less ridiculous.

No way Hoft was ever that cute.

Yeah, but I don’t think he was ever fearsome. What’s the opposite of fearsome? Risible?

Also, did someone say vuvuzela?

Nice one Smut Clyde. That ‘Flesh’ header totally looks like the headstock on a Fender guitar. ‘Flesh’ Telecaster.

Heh Smut. The ‘Flesh’ header looks like a Fender headstock

Ooh! Ooh! *raises hand super high in most teacher’s pet manner possible*

You mean…you’re really Tracy Flick?

Horns don’t count. They have to Photoshop a devil beard.

They have to Photoshop a devil beard.

I’m kinda disappointed, I thought it would be a beard made out of devils.

OT, but 101, feels like 105… but Al Gore is fat.

OT, but 101, feels like 105

And where was my afternoon meeting? On a roof.

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

“You mean…you’re really Tracy Flick?”

I’ve never been that ambitious. Ever. But teachers did tend to wuv me.

OT, but 101, feels like 105… but Al Gore is fat.

The Weather Channel is part of the lieberal-alarmist-islamocommunofascist conspiracy! Who could say what the real temperature is? You should probably put a sweater on, just to be safe.

But teachers did tend to wuv me.

That is a much easier path to A’s than that homework nonsense!

Don’t stand… don’t stand so…

I’ve never been that ambitious. Ever.

I’ve heard that long practice can train your weaker hand.

And where was my afternoon meeting? On a roof.

That’s totally the suXX0r. Couldn’t you have prevailed upon the client to have the meeting early in the day? Like 6 AM?

Did you convince them to put in a green roof, with a lovely border of quince trees? I’m asking for a friend.

Here’s the actual link to Hoft’s post. (Some great comments there and at “Zombie”‘s original post. In particular, a lot of people show up at the latter to insist that no way was this unintentional, or for that matter possibly in the eye of the beholder.)

Speaking of pics, wouldn’t it be great to allow pics in comments here? Just like in Fark? Just sayin’.

“cy! Who could say what the real temperature is? You should probably put a sweater on, just to be safe.”

Clearly you want me dayud.

They have to Photoshop a devil beard.

Okay, maybe not so OT.
The sign I mentioned in the other thread? The one that I thought advertised a bro-zilian? Not so much. Turns out it said “boy-Brazilian.” Clearly, I was too busy clenching and wincing to read it properly the first time.

TL:DR- Brozilian is still open as a term for that “comedian’s” taint-scratcher a few threads down.

“Mysticdog said,
July 6, 2010 at 23:54

But teachers did tend to wuv me.

That is a much easier path to A’s than that homework nonsense!

Don’t stand… don’t stand so…”

HA!! most of my teachers were middle-age women. (whom I genuinely liked, FTR.)

Did you convince them to put in a green roof, with a lovely border of quince trees?

I convinced them* not to add 150,000 pounds of water tank without first checking the steel below.

*Exaggeration. I convinced them to pay me for this, which they more or less already knew was required.

HA!! most of my teachers were middle-age women. (whom I genuinely liked, FTR.)

oooo…the story gets hotter!

I convinced them* not to add 150,000 pounds of water tank without first checking the steel below.

So, you’re up there on an asphalt Mojave, discussing cool, refreshing water which isn’t there.

Torture, I tells ya!

oooo…the story gets hotter!

That reminds me, what do T&U’s boobs have to say about this?

Can I just say that I am very disappointed that NASA’s “Moonbase Alpha” game on Steam doesn’t include the option of blasting the moon out of orbit by detonating a pile of nuclear waste.

“Paul Revere” at HoftPoo comments:

There are no coincidences with the left.

Just like the first earth day was celebrated on vladimir lenin’s 100th birthday (this fact alone is all you need to know about global warming).

Just like when Obama announced an end to the missile defense shield in Poland on the 70th Anniversary of the Soviet invasion of Poland.

Just like Obama’s mother worked for Tim Geithner’s Father at the Ford Foundation.

oooo…the story gets hotter!

Maybe my brain is addled ‘cuz of the sweltering heat and no AC(for the past 2 days) or I have just become a laugh slut…but everyone is making me giggle today.

Bouncing from link to to link out of a malevolent ennui perpetuated by my POS job, I stumbled across a founding father quote that would work well as a gag to stuff into the pukehole of one of these founding father quoting teabagger fuckheads:

James Madison said, “Of all the enemies to public liberty war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded, because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes; and armies, and debts, and taxes are the known instruments for bringing the many under the domination of the few. In war, too, the discretionary power of the Executive is extended; its influence in dealing out offices, honors, and emoluments is multiplied; and all the means of seducing the minds, are added to those of subduing the force, of the people. . . . [There is also an] inequality of fortunes, and the opportunities of fraud, growing out of a state of war, and . . . degeneracy of manners and of morals. . . . No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare. . . .

I stumbled across a founding father quote that would work well as a gag to stuff into the pukehole of one of these founding father quoting teabagger fuckheads:

I never know how you really feel. I wish you would emote more. Quit holding it all inside, tsam. I’ve got ya. I’m your safe place. Show me on this doll where the Right Wing molested you.

Show me on this doll where the Right Wing molested you.

I don’t do dolls, but if you’ll lay down here, I can show you…

“Show me on this doll where the Right Wing molested you.

I don’t do dolls, but if you’ll lay down here, I can show you…”

Your boldness is oddly hot. Also–I’m a doll!!

Haha–you’re right. But a heartbeat and anatomic accuracy are required, so you’ll have to be the demonstration model.

Can I just say that I am very disappointed that NASA’s “Moonbase Alpha” game on Steam doesn’t include the option of blasting the moon out of orbit by detonating a pile of nuclear waste.

Don’t worry, someone will come up with an Operation Plowshare patch.

I don’t do dolls

That’s not what your billing records at Real Dolls say.

That’s not what your billing records at Real Dolls say.

Oh. Crap.

Can I just say that I am very disappointed that NASA’s “Moonbase Alpha” game on Steam doesn’t include the option of blasting the moon out of orbit by detonating a pile of nuclear waste.

At least someone here knows the classics!

Out of curiosity, has anyone seen the show in the past 20 years? How does it hold up for sci-fi quality?

Maybe my brain is addled ‘cuz of the sweltering heat and no AC(for the past 2 days) or I have just become a laugh slut…but everyone is making me giggle today.

I become much more amusing the more addled you get. Heat stroke factors highly in my dating strategy!

Show me on this doll where the Right Wing molested you.

Suppose the molester was disguised as an anatomically-accurate doll at the time? Serious triggering potential here.

“Whale Chowder said,
July 7, 2010 at 0:38

I don’t do dolls

That’s not what your billing records at Real Dolls say.”
Tee to the Hee.

“I become much more amusing the more addled you get. Heat stroke factors highly in my dating strategy!”

Nope, not buying. I suspect you don’t need crazy gimmicks like heat strokes or roofies.

Cutting ties, eh? Has anybody ever seen Harpo Marx and David Ben-Gurion together?

Just asking.

Cutting ties, eh? Has anybody ever seen Harpo Marx and David Ben-Gurion together?

Or heard them together?

Heat stroke factors highly in my dating strategy!

Stroking, UR DOIN IT RONG!

Just like the first earth day was celebrated on vladimir lenin’s 100th birthday…

And because it was his birthday, we had a…

I suspect you don’t need crazy gimmicks like heat strokes or roofies.

I think N__B nearly had a heat stroke on a roofie today. You people have strange mating rituals.

Nope, not buying. I suspect you don’t need crazy gimmicks like heat strokes or roofies.
For me they do. But since I’m all about consent, I do them to myself and learn what I did later. Usually at the indictment hearing.

“For me they do. But since I’m all about consent, I do them to myself and learn what I did later. Usually at the indictment hearing.”

You roofie yourself? That is mighty gentlemanly of you. Also…LOL.

You roofie yourself? That is mighty gentlemanly of you. Also…LOL. I have highly tuned drama detectors that normally keep me from hitting on any of the ladies at the neighborhood bar. Which is a goth club. So, if I want any action, I have to defuse them.

My drama detector flies out of calibration when when it gets alcohol on the circuit board. Bad stuff ensues..

So, back on the topic of the post, where do Hoft et alia think the photo should have been cropped? To me, that looks like a normal distance from the head for a photo edge. Of course, I also think it looks like something on the wall behind him rather than horns, so what know I of the nefarious ways of HuffPo?

Having tortured my drama detector with alcohol for years in various bars in midwestern ski resorts, corn college towns and Antarctic bases, it still functions better than the rest of me until I am 6+ drinks into a serious bender. I blame my mixed Irish/German/Bohemian ancestry.

Clearly they should have included the entire logo behind his head so it looks like he has a halo.

So, back on the topic of the post, where do Hoft et alia think the photo should have been cropped?

Right where the tie was cut, I think.

Or on the OUTSIDE of a fucking italics command.

Clearly they should have included the entire logo behind his head so it looks like he has a halo.

Well of course that would be a clearly permissible non-editorializing photo cropping.

Cracked copies of Photocrop available…

nice one tsam.

Sign of desperation. Hoft doesn’t want to be taken seriously.

Not to be pedantic or anything but the link didn’t work.

Well, it’s true. Nefarious conspirators abound. Why, the mind boggles at the sheer evil intent of those who would try to bring down the sovereign state of Israel with the dastardly deed of photoshopping a press photo to appear – if you squint right – that the Prime Minister is sporting peculiar white curly off-center asymmetrical something-or-others that deluded idiots might associate with The Devil.

This is the kind of thing that brings down empires!!! One look at this and the government of his nation quakes and falls asunder!!

Who are the evil-doers who would so vilely conspire to strike at the heart of Israel by these horrific deeds?

Who are the evil-doers who would so vilely conspire to strike at the heart of Israel by these horrific deeds?

Fucking INTERNS! I knew it! Probably unpaid journalism students, who are all, as you know, social communist islams.

Hoft doesn’t want to be taken seriously.

You’re right. I think he’d rather be taken by the Gay Patriot.

Fucking INTERNS! I

How do they work?

How do they work?

Like slaves!!!1 Muahhahahahahahaha! No pay, long hours, no paid employee required to do the job. It’s a win win for the company. Line up for your store vouchers!

Out of curiosity, has anyone seen the show in the past 20 years? How does it hold up for sci-fi quality?

I’ve not seen it since it was new, but my memories of it are horrific enough.

I actually started an internship at the local paper today. Once they put away the sulfur-coated whips and cat-o-nine-tails, it’s fairly tolerable if you have a strong gag reflex and a high tolerance for nudity.

I actually started an internship at the local paper today.

Congrats. Editorial side? Business side? Do paparazzi have interns?

Out of curiosity, has anyone seen the show in the past 20 years? How does it hold up for sci-fi quality?

The Sci-Fi (now SYFYlitic) Channel ran it in the ’90s sometime. Writing was no worse than original Star Dreck, sets & effects marginally better.

Writing was no worse than original Star Dreck, sets & effects marginally better.

Mr. and Mrs. Landau make Shatner look like he can act.

Didn’t want to get into acting. It’s all crap. Words & stuff I get though.

Or heard them together?

Why? What does Ben-Gurion play?

Didn’t want to get into acting. It’s all crap. Words & stuff I get though.

Fair enough.

Wasn’t every square inch of wall on Moonbase Alpha covered with keyboards? Keyboard next to keyboard next to keyboard next to a closet to hang your space-onesie in?

Keyboards everywhere (They’d just been discovered then, hadn’t they?) & the pillar w/ four tee vee sets in it at every corridor intersection.

“Turkey Wonders If Anything Israel”

the pillar w/ four tee vee sets in it at every corridor intersection.

Four people could play 8-bit games at the same time? It must be THE FUTURE!…eleven years ago.

LOL, so pretty bad then. Ah well. Not going to ruin a childhood memory by looking it up.

Editorial side? Business side?

Um…busywork side? They tell me that they’ll have me writing actual stories before I go back to college, though. It’s about the best scenario a previously-unemployed 19-year-old could hope for.

Has anyone here heard of a wingnut named Terry Savage? He’s reminiscent of the asshole who told Virginia there’s no Santa Claus.

According to Savage Terry, sweet little girls giving away free lemonade symbolize everything that’s wrong with America.

Takes a real he-man to yell at a bunch of little girls. What’s the matter, Terry? Too scared of your mother to take it out on her?

alcohol for years in various bars in […] Antarctic bases

All you need to know about bars in Antarctic bases.

Don’t let a cynical old crank put you off it, MD, it’s certainly not that bad. I remember looking forward to it during its first run, & I was a (chronological) adult then.

You can only really give when you give something you own. They’re giving away their parents’ things…

On the other hand, selling their parents’ things is A-OK.

Forced blowjob watch:

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell accused the administration of sneaking Berwick through, calling the recess appointment and the lack of confirmation hearings “truly outrageous.”

“As if shoving a trillion-dollar government takeover of health care down the throat of a disapproving American public wasn’t enough, apparently the Obama administration intends to arrogantly circumvent the American people yet again by recess-appointing one of the most prominent advocates of rationed health care to implement their national plan,” he said in a statement.

Oh, it’s not “forced” – they just like to pretend like they’re not into it.

Every time I see Mitch McConnell (or Steve Forbes) it reminds me of this obscene gesture my brother used to make, where he would pinch the skin on his throat, jerk it up and down, and do this faux-spitting “pftt, pftt, pftt” sound.

And also…if Israel attacked Turkey in the rear, would Greece help?

I kind of remember two seasons, with some shapechanging alien chick showing up for the second to be the romantic interest for the action hero. I recall they would flash up to her eye which would have the creature she was changing into inside it; that was probably a lot better than trying to do real special effects back then.

And also…if Israel attacked Turkey in the rear, would Greece help?

My understanding is that Turkey might like that…

According to Savage Terry, sweet little girls giving away free lemonade symbolize everything that’s wrong with America

Shit, Ed Anger’s really let himself go.

And that’s the SAVAGE TRUTH!

Giving people stuff = socialism?

if Israel attacked Turkey in the rear, would Greece help?

*win win win*

Hey, Mitch? Maybe if you and your pals didn’t hang up every appointment in committee for six months or more just to fuck up this administration, they wouldn’t feel the need to recess appoint.

Just sayin.

I mean, it’s not like your fella ever recess appointed anyone important, like, say, the Ambassador to the UN, or anything.

Oh. Wait.

justme, I think you can save yourself a lot of time and mental effort if you just assume as a matter of course that everything a Republican says is bullshit.

And I’d just like to note that my 11:01 comment was actually posted at 5:25 AM Eastern Daylight Time.

Yezzz, what is up w/ that time discrepancy?

Um…busywork side? They tell me that they’ll have me writing actual stories before I go back to college, though. It’s about the best scenario a previously-unemployed 19-year-old could hope for.

Busywork? Then they are trying to give you the real-world feeling.

Overall, it sounds like what a good internship is supposed to be like: get you some actual experience, wrapped in a chewy exploitation shell. I hadn’t realized you were chronologically challenged; let me apologize on behalf of my generation for the state of the economy.

Song for DKWs mom
F.I.G.J.A.M.

let me apologize on behalf of my generation for the state of the economy.

REPARATIONS.

REPARATIONS.

Soylent Green.

Savage: “Three girls giving away free lemonade isn’t cute, it’s indicative of the lack of economic responsibility we’re passing on to future generations. ”

He brings up government programs like unemployment and health care because NO FREE LUNCH BLARGH, but isn’t the usual wingnut response to so-called government largess that these are things private charities should handle?

HuffPo Crops AP Photo to Give Netanyahu Devil Horns

Fuck that’s weak.

I read the comments to that lemonade article. While there are conservatives who are at least decent enough to disagree with the point that giving away lemonade is SOCIALIZM (but fuck the poor), he actually finds people who agree with him. In response to how giving something away teaches entitlement:

Let us consider this…maybe the next customer is a kid, who gets the free lemonade, then DEMANDS it next time, or expects it at the next stand ! ! ! What lesson is taught. It makes the kids who are charging somehow bad or wrong to the kid that got it for free somewhere else. And if enough kids get it for free, then demand it for free from the next kid, the second kid loses his ability to earn anything from his effort. Or, maybe the kids doing the giving will come to expect they should get something for free in return, they feel ‘entitled’ to like treatment, and could get pizzy when they don’t get it.

So if you ever get something without paying for it, even once, you will turn into a brat. I hate to see their childhood (but of course they EARNED 18 years of room and board and toys).

Link in name. I would comment over on that but my yahoo name is the same as the one here, plus, it’s like the Special Olympics, as the famous macro says.

So if you ever get something without paying for it, even once, you will turn into a brat.

Christmas taught me I never have to pay for toys, so fuck you Mr. Toys ‘R’ Us cashier.

Three girls giving away free lemonade isn’t cute, it’s indicative of the lack of economic responsibility we’re passing on to future generations.

Another thing we’re passing on to future generations: A destroyed ecology and a lack of resources, having already given away all our children’s nice things to one another.

Photoshopped? So those aren’t his real horns then?

Takes a real he-man to yell at a bunch of little girls.

Terry is allegedly female.</a<