3
Chuck Chuck Bo Buck, Banana Fana Fo . . . .
Grosconnard and First Pundit of Gateway
The amateur detectives and kerning squads of the wingnut blogosphere have been embarrassing themselves lately with the newly-released White House visitor list, apparently unaware that different people can have the same names. Nobody, of course, jumps to a foolish conclusion faster and with more invigorating elan than Jim Hoft, aka the Gateway Pundit, who is convinced that one of the visitors to the White House is Angela Davis, an open member of the Communist Party USA and close buddy of Fidel Castro. This is further proof, of course, that Obama is a Communist parading around as a Democrat just so that he can hoist the hammer and sickle over the White House and force all American children to work on collectivist goat cheese farms.
Now, of course, it’s just plain stupid for people to imagine that the William Ayers on the White House list is, you know, the “ghost writer” for the illiterate President. Everyone knows that Obama is smart enough to make sure that his real confabs with Ayers are top, toppity, top-top secret, are conducted in disguise (usually with fake moustaches, dishdashas, and Ray-Bans), and aren’t conducted in the Oval Office but instead in the basement of a suburban safe house. But the Angela Davis mistake is, well, just flat-out, mouth-slobbering, nose-picking-in-public stupid. Both people named “Angela Davis” on the White House list have different middle initials than Angela Y. Davis, the person that Hoft was thinking about, although in Hoft’s case the word “thinking” is merely a metaphorical representation of the random synapse firing that causes Hoft to wake up with a start from time to time from continual bouts of narcolepsy.
Hoft links to an obscure wingnut blog that was pushing the Angela Davis story apparently unaware that the blog was later shamed into acknowledging its mistake and came up with one of the more novel fail recovery arguments ever. The list, you see, was larded with common and easily mistaken names as a crude practical joke designed to trap conservative bloggers into saying something stupid. Yowser. That’s like blaming the bottle of vodka for a DWI . . . and really meaning it.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
November 3, 2009 at 9:13
I guess we can all be grateful that Bill Ayers wasn’t named “John Smith.”
noen said,
November 3, 2009 at 9:36
Loverly shade of lipstick he’s got there too.
Mike said,
November 3, 2009 at 9:41
Even by the epically low standards of the modern Right, Gateway is a joke.
Honestly, this sad lot of anti-intellectuals are starting to make me nostalgic for the heyday of Gingrich and co; douchebag or not, at least Newt could string an idea together without bleeding to death through his nose.
noen said,
November 3, 2009 at 9:45
“When, oh when, will the Democratic Party finally come to their senses and demand that this man resign from office?”
Indeed, it is…. a mystery…. wrapped around an enigma surrounded by a delicious taco.
noen said,
November 3, 2009 at 9:58
I love this — “ive seen nothing to show that the rest of the names are not matches to the people we think they are.” Yes, and I expect they never will.
Smut Clyde said,
November 3, 2009 at 10:33
An echidna taco? Not for me thank you; I’m having platypus calzone.
dit said,
November 3, 2009 at 10:41
The names don’t belong to who we thought, but Obama surely would prefer that they did — and isn’t that just as bad?
In fact, EVEN WORSE.
El Cid said,
November 3, 2009 at 10:47
Wait — so he didn’t really meet at the White House with the Thomas Jefferson who wrote the Declaration of Independence, but some other guy named “Tom Jefferson”? Yeah. Right. I think that’s pretty unlikely that there would be two people with such a name.
Jay Are Eff said,
November 3, 2009 at 11:27
Oh, Jesus. Alicublog led me to this place:
http://jonjayray.blogspot.com/
The main is standard wingnut fair. The column on the left is… proof of Poe’s law.
Smut Clyde said,
November 3, 2009 at 11:33
The reason why those false positives are on the list — causing Gunner Hoft to step back on his own kumara* — is that someone specifically asked “Have people with the following names visited the White House during the period of interest?”
Now you might think that this makes Hoft’s excuse look even more responsibility-shifting and stupid. But who asked, eh? Can we rule out the possibility that it was a ringer from the Obama administration, posing these patsy questions in the express intention that the answers would “trap conservative bloggers into saying something stupid?” I thought not.
The redeeming aspect of this is that at least the villains in charge of the White House are actually competent for a change, coming up with genuinely Machievellian schemes, the way that villains are supposed to.
* Nolite Regredire in Kumarum Vestrum.
Obama's Secret Police said,
November 3, 2009 at 11:36
snicker
jon said,
November 3, 2009 at 12:00
I have a question: can anyone who visits the White House write anything on the visitor logs, or is it done by staff? I ask this as someone who has used… different names from my own while visiting historic sites and such in the past. I still have Mr. Art Vandelay’s Safeway savings card, for instance. I forgot who I registered for at Basha’s supermarket. But I haven’t been Aragorn deNumenor ever since the movies came out, as it’s just not that funny anymore and now I’m from the Southwest rather than a traveler from the North.
stackozone said,
November 3, 2009 at 12:14
Names also NOT found on the White House Guest List:
Capt. Jeffery T. Spaulding
Rufus T. Firefly
Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff
Otis B. Driftwood
Hugo Z. Hackenbush
Explain THAT libs!!
Grace Nearing said,
November 3, 2009 at 12:59
It is not that it is not true.
A truly brilliant non-correction correction that demands readers supply the forever absent follow-up clause, it’s just that I can’t prove it.
stryx said,
November 3, 2009 at 14:16
So if someone, say a muscular bald manwhore/fake journalist with a fake name and a nice cut unit, gets waved in to the White House by order of the President would that name show up on the list?
Steerpike said,
November 3, 2009 at 14:19
Other “visitors” to the WH”
Ben Dover
Anita Bohn
Holden McGroin
Buster Hymen
Hugh Jass
Dixie Normous
Angie O’Plasty
Sarah Bellum
Heywood Jablomie
Connie Lingus
Chuck Waggon
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 14:21
lol obama derangement syndrome in spades!@ they get rlly looney when they criticize him liek this.
still i remember our side doing the same kinda thing with lists from both gwb and ghwb and looking 4 proof of male prostitutes, children kidnapped by satanic ritual abuse circles in the 80s, and whatever else. hell i think the nyt even ran a thing about so called “gay hookers in gwb’s guest lists.” peeps r nuts all over, is the lesson 2 b learned, in point of fact.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 3, 2009 at 14:23
That’s a totally hypothetical question, right stryx?
~
Jennifer said,
November 3, 2009 at 14:38
Steerpike –
Harry P. Ness
Juan Hugh Jorgan
Oliver Closehoff
Also.
LittlePig said,
November 3, 2009 at 14:57
Whoa, +1 to Jennifer for the more obscure visitors. Oliver Closehoff is rarely seen (except for the intarwebs, of course).
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:05
LittlePig… so sorry to hear that your ehmmm… li’l piglet… rarely gets to interact with naked Jennifers. that’s a crime, it is.
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:07
Also on the list, noted Chicago racketeers in the construction industry:
Lane Closure
Virg Dropov
a different mikey said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:19
While there was a time when I would have blamed the vodka for a DUI now I think of George Jones, who, when he had plowed his Cadillac into some civilian’s front lawn and an empty pint of vodka slid out from underneath the drivers seat said:
“A pint. That’s not drinking.”
So now I blame The Possum.
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:21
because piglets of all stripes should run free and frolick in the fluffy fields of feminine friends.
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:23
“I’d rather have a bottle in’fron’a'me, than a fron’al-lobotomy”.
– Tom Waits, best badass ever.
Ted the Slacker said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:24
Mooslims not yet invited:
Mustapha Vanc
Sheikh Ya-Buti
Ali Monichek
LittlePig said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:26
Since the big news stories in my formative years were the body counts in the Five O’Clock follies and a break-in at a D.C. hotel, my frolicking days are pretty well done.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:28
or, as mojo nixon once sang “beer’s not drinking”
Harry “Snapper” Organs
Zap Rowsdower
Chunk Manmeat
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:29
Ted, I believe Frank Z coined the definitive spelling on that second one:
Sheik Yerbouti
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:30
I think I’m heading towards being drunk somewhat later.
Shit. it’s only half past 2 in the afternoon here. It’s amazing to think back thirteen years or so and how much it disturbed me how my country was moving to the right. Then I got into following american politics/history/journalism and I was forced to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the ever unfolding tapestry of downright -wrongness-.
Jacob Singer said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:30
“Hey, the White House knew we were knee-jerk reactionary cheeseheads when they posted that list! It’s not our fault!”
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:32
LilliputianPiggy. TAKE THE BLUE PILL!!!
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:33
LilliPutianPiggy! TAKE THE BLUE PILL!
Citizen_X said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:42
our side doing the same kinda thing with lists from both gwb and ghwb and looking 4 proof of male prostitutes
Sigh. Jeff Fucking Gannon.
Can we get a new troll? This one’s not even trying. I mean , come on, in a down market like this? You ought to get someone who’ll actually earn their minimum wage.
Arakasi said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:46
Come on people, you are missing the big story here. Isn’t the fact that list contains no mention of Osama bin Laden just a little suspicious? I mean, it’s obvious that bin Laden would use a pseudonym when signing in, so the fact that his real name doesn’t show up on the list is almost proof that he was actually there.
I demand impeachment.
Centrifugal Left-Over Grill said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:47
Death to america! Death to israel!
Centrifugal Left-Over Grill said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:48
Death to li’l-debbie-deathcakes! MY THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHS!
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:48
Jeff Gannon was a male prostitute (on a first name basis with Duh-bbya) posing as a correspondent? All this time I thought it was David Gregory.
Looch said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:50
Mooslims not yet invited:
Ah Bin Farteen
Hous Bin Farteen (Uncle)
Yousef Herod Ahpyer Pouphir
Azhit M’drarzh
and…
M’balz Iz Harieh
(h/t SNL De Niro DHS skit)*
*Spelling accuracy limited by memory
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:53
Nosfer-Blart-Two.
Gregory has more hair and is more into the Cheney-fellatin’ than the Bush-wackin’. That’s pretty much the difference.
Davis said,
November 3, 2009 at 15:58
The real idiocy is that the WH log includes everyone who visits there. The log asks for the “Visitee” and in Ayres’s case it was Visitors Office, not POTUS. What, he can’t even take a tour of the place?
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:04
Of COURSE not, Davis! Why…WhyWHYWHY hehehe-he-he he… HE MIGHT EXHALE DURING HIS VISIT…. and thus spread the spore of… of… GAAHH… of anti-umpirelism which would ruin baseball-cap-italism!
mark f said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:07
I had to see the real Angela Davis give a talk. It was tedious.
Jennifer said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:11
Even funnier: most people under the age of 50 have no fucking idea who Angela Davis is.
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:12
ya jeff gannon was of whom i was thinking. total nonstory that some far leftists tried 2 whip up into some kind of big deal. they even tried 2 say he was some kid abducted years earlier liek in the 80s called johnny gosch and was secretly put in a snuff film by hunter thomopson ROFL
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:12
mark f.
Huhh?
With a life like hers?
I’d guess it might be many things, but… tedious? really?
DBR said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:15
Jeff Gannon was on the “log.”
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:17
Wait, WHICH Angela Davis are we talking about?
Oh, and P.S.:
Thanks , Cement-Leadhead-gurrrl for admitting that you were always a Goldwater-groupie.
Center Left Trrrrrrrrrll said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:19
ya lol snarf snarf ROFL I 4got 2 b n caracter an tel ya bout how I partyed down with Pia Zadora last nite…she sez soshulizm is totes like gag me with a fork lol
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:19
me = AuH20 groupie? orly?
whatevs.
Steerpike said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:22
Ya, Jeff Gannon, total nonstory lol. Male prostitute with no credentials whatsoevs get press pass 2 ask imho softball questions like “how are you going to work with people (Democrats) who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?” ya, no story there. rofl
FUCK to the OFF to the TROLL
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:24
“ya jeff gannon was of whom i was thinking. total nonstory that some far leftists tried 2 whip up into some kind of big deal. they even tried 2 say he was some kid abducted years earlier liek in the 80s called johnny gosch and was secretly put in a snuff film by hunter thomopson ROFL”
Damnit, you sniffin’ slut!
How many times have I told you:
YOU DO NOT USE THE HALLUCINOGENIC SNAILS AS TAMPONS!
They may dissolve in the yeasty paste of your slimy crotch,
but they’ll only leave you with a terminal case of poison insta-bortion womb.
ESPECIALLY when you mix it with the RANCID dickcheese overflowing from the UNWASHED COCKS you only ever get out of, hell… not boredom, not even pity… just out of the sheer NOVELTY of fuckin’ a retarted muppet.
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:27
Male prostitute with no credentials whatsoevs
u always have something against queer guys or just when it suits ur purposes? is it like how u can call palin a “slut”? if we r going 2 b taken seriously as a movement we have 2 b internally consistent about our sense of right&wrong.
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:28
Damnit, you sniffin’ slut!
How many times have I told you:
YOU DO NOT USE THE HALLUCINOGENIC SNAILS AS TAMPONS!
They may dissolve in the yeasty paste of your slimy crotch,
but they’ll only leave you with a terminal case of poison insta-bortion womb.
ESPECIALLY when you mix it with the RANCID dickcheese overflowing from the UNWASHED COCKS you only ever get out of, hell… not boredom, not even pity… just out of the sheer NOVELTY of fuckin’ a retarted muppet.
orly
yawn
*marblecake*
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:32
And don’t forget that this is only the partial list. Who knows what names are still being hidden…
Amanda Huginkiss
M. T. Soot
Telly Prompter
Stalin McHitler
E. Norm Muscock
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:35
#
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:27
Male prostitute with no credentials whatsoevs
u always have something against queer guys or just when it suits ur purposes? is it like how u can call palin a “slut”? if we r going 2 b taken seriously as a movement we have 2 b internally consistent about our sense of right&wrong.”
Hmmm. yes. Being gay automatically made Gannon a credible journalist, just as being a woman made Palin a credible VP.
Maybe most of us care more about actual qualifications instead of sexuality.
DADT is moronic and an insult to everyone but the dangerously sexually repressed and depraved.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:40
Eleanor Iselin
Mr. Wonderful said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:40
Can I PLEASE get some luv for Phil McCracken?
HMDK said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:41
“orly?”
REALLY?
That, in the end, is your li’l bitty cumrag you’ll try to hide your limp snailtrail behind?
A 4chan catchphrase?
J Neo Marvin said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:43
“orly?”
REALLY?
Orly Taitz is CRG?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:46
Patrick Fitzgerald
Gerald Fitzpatrick
Scott said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:46
Surely, the White House has had I.P. Freely and Hoo Flung Doo over to visit, right? They always make the guest lists…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:49
And don’t look now but 365 to 368
Soros! Dun, dun, dun!
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:50
CLGrrl, Just because Jeff Gannon and David Gregory are male prostitutes doesn’t necessarily mean that they are homosexuals. They could be merchantile heteros, or bisexuals, or trisexuals (they’ll try anything.) or quadrasexuals (they’ll do anything to anybody, for a quarter.). Your insistence that its a nonstory (in bizarre detail, unheard-of) is belied by Bush’s first-name relationship with them during news conferences and gaps in the WH visitors log for JG’s presence.
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:50
“telly prompter” rofl. even tho i do think the whole “obama uses a teleprompter” thing is waaaay overblown, i do like that one, ipof.
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:53
Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. On the other hand, the death of romance requires only cellphones.
PS: also feminism killed romance and society.
PPS: get off my lawn
PPPS: BROOOOOOOOCE!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 16:59
I’d buy an iPof, but Apple overprices EVERYTHING.
In Point of Fact, Gannon/Guckert was not only a male prostitute (not ad hominem if it’s you know, ACCURATE), but he was using a nom de teabag, an alias, which should have kept him out of the press room unless someone was opening the doors for him. Who, who, WHO who could that someone have been? Scotty? Karl? Dubya?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:01
Shorter David Brooks:
Why won’t anybody sleep with me?
gocart mozart said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:03
“Yowser. That’s like blaming the bottle of vodka for a DWI . . . and really meaning it.”
Blaming a bottle of vodka is just silly, but the bottle of scotch made me do it I swear.
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:07
An example of ‘accumulated wisdom of the community’ would be the justice of the peace who wouldn’t marry interracial couples.
D.N. Nation said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:07
Some ass had FOX X-TREME NEWZ on in the gym last night, and they were covering this. Their graphic was what you’d expect…pictures of Jerm Wright and Bill Ayers with the caption “haven’t visited WH yet.”
Additionally, Gateway remains the dumbest wingnut blogger I’ve come across.
Center Left Grrrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:08
KJ FIUG T OJKK??? OFI J LLZZERS ;)
Looch said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:11
Jeff Gannon:
“Jeff Gannon… had previously worked as a $200-an-hour gay prostitute who advertised himself on a series of websites with names such as hotmilitary stud.com.”
Shoo.
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:11
David Brooks wants the sexual marketplace to be heavily regulated. Invisible hands are inadequate.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:12
Maybe you guys didn’t hear. SOROS! Dun. dun. DUN!
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:15
Jeff Gannon… had previously worked as a $200-an-hour gay prostitute
again y is the gay part so effing important? just say he was a prostitute. end of story, in point of fact.
g said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:20
pictures of Jerm Wright and Bill Ayers with the caption “haven’t visited WH yet.”
You know who else hasn’t visited the White House yet? Hitler, that’s who!
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:22
What about Soros? My viewscreen is on the fritz and I haven’t gotten my daily marching orders.
gocart mozart said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:23
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
“again y is the gay part so effing important? just say he was a prostitute. end of story, in point of fact.”
Fine. How about “male prostitute who was having sex with Scott McClellan and received special privileges in return.” Is that politically correct enough for you?
gocart mozart said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:26
Breaking News!
John Brown, convicted slave rebellion “terrorist” visited the White House eleventy times.
Looch said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:26
again y is the gay part so effing important?
Ya see those funny little things at the beginning of the sentence and then again at the end? Those are called “quotation marks.” (see, there they are!)
They indicate that the sentence came from somewhere, in this case a published article. Jeff Gannon obtains one of the most sought-after press credentials in the world, despite the fact he has no journalistic training, no experience and no association with a credible news outlet. He asks excruciatingly friendly and biased questions to the President of the United States all while he is peddling his ass online at $200 an hour. I think that’s kinda odd.
Looch said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:29
How about “male prostitute who was having sex with Scott McClellan and received special privileges in return.” Is that politically correct enough for you?
Or this.
Gary Ruppert said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:32
The fact is, momentum is on conservatives’ side. We are going to sweep elections today and the Jeff Dunham Show is a huge success. You libs are screwed.
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:35
Heh. Jeff Dunham. Nothing enrages libs more than he!
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:38
Mike Adams is exceedingly bitter that his students do not find him engaging enough to pay attention to.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:38
What about Soros?
He visited the White House!!!one1!
Even more ominious, on his last visit he arrived at 4:17:04 PM, March 24, 2009 – and he hasn’t left!
tigrismus said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:40
“When, oh when, will the Democratic Party finally come to their senses and demand that this man resign from office?”
When he actually commits an impeachable offense? Offer to impeach for real crimes has no actual cash value, is non-transferable, and is not valid for Republican presidents.
“ive seen nothing to show that the rest of the names are not matches to the people we think they are.”
….
…It is not that it is not true.
A truly brilliant non-correction correction that demands readers supply the forever absent follow-up clause, it’s just that I can’t prove it.
“What does it say about Obama that we believed this was true?” is central to their points.
N__B said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:44
Shorter David Brooks:
Why won’t anybody sleep with me?
OOOH! Teacher! Call on me! I know this one!
tigrismus said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:46
again y is the gay part so effing important?
Because they’re Republicans? If you hear about a priest boffing a parishioner’s wife, do you moan about the priest part not being important? I.e. it’s about the hypocrisy, too.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:47
Also, what about Sean/Shan/Shawn Carter? Obviously someone with the last name Carter was visiting the White House, but trying to obfuscate their identity with a made-up first name. It has top be Jimmy Carter! And that explains why the economy is slumping!
Ah HA!
Brandi said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:48
Can we get a new troll?
Why? Over and over again this site shows that it’ll feed any troll that bats its watery yellow eyes and extends a warty claw its way.
It’s sort of like crazy cat ladies, but the smell’s worse and more pervasive.
N__B said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:48
Also, what about Sean/Shan/Shawn Carter? Obviously someone with the last name Carter was visiting the White House, but trying to obfuscate their identity with a made-up first name. It has top be Jimmy Carter!
Wouldn’t he be Seamus Carter?
Tintin said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:48
I’m gay and as the author of the post hereby grant everyone permission to call Jeff Gannon a “gay prostitute.” End of story.
Joe Max said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:49
“Surrounded by a thin, thin 16 millimeter shell – and inside, it’s delicious!”
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:50
That guy who wrote “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” visited the White House, probably to deliver his latest sermon “God Damn America.”
Joe Max said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:53
Actually, it was, “I’d rather have a beer bottle in front o’ me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.”
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
November 3, 2009 at 17:57
Who was Jeff Gannon POURING THE PORK TO at the White House?
Remember that GWB was president of his fraternity (heh!!!) at Dartmouth (heh heh !!!).
And while he was there, he would BRAND THE ASSES of underclassmen, and when questioned by the newspaper said it was no big deal.
And when GWB was at Yale, he was part of Skull & Bones, which WRESTLES NAKED and also requires pledges MASTURBATE TO AN AUDIENCE.
Did our 44th President masturbate to an audience, wrestle naked, brand asses (perhaps having his own ass branded), and belong to a fraternity at Dartmouth, and have a personal relationship with a male prostitute with unusually lenient visiting privileges at the White House? The facts are pointing, troll!
Looch said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:00
End of story.
IPOF?
Larkspur said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:04
In the olden days, when I was a youngster, we fed not the trolls, nor did we ply them with delicious mead or ale. Nay: we kept the good stuff for ourselves.
“Ayers”: A surname (common: 1 in 5882 families; popularity rank in the U.S.: #677)
“William”: Name: A male given name (very common: 1 in 40 males; popularity rank in the U.S.: #5) *
See, it would be suspicious if someone named William Ayers did not visit the White House. Obviously, that would indicate a cover-up.
* Rhymezone
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:07
Why? Over and over again this site shows that it’ll feed any troll that bats its watery yellow eyes and extends a warty claw its way.
Including the ones who only show up to whine about troll-feeding.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:08
OOOH! Teacher! Call on me! I know this one!
Can you limit yourself to a single answer this time, Mr. N____B?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:09
Who was Jeff Gannon POURING THE PORK TO at the White House?
We should start a pool.
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:11
That text-graying-out thingy is pretty cool.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:14
And also, #33 and #34 on that log? John Cornyn and Kent Conrad. Not too suspicious at first, but… They shared teh same BADGE NUMBER!!one11! What does it mean? Obviously they are BOTH ONE GUY!
AHA! I mean, have you ever seen Cornyn and Conrad in the same room together? It’s all a deadly plot!!11!one!
Ted the Slacker said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:18
OT, but from the vault of unintentional humor:
No-one could have predicted tea-baggers would be so mocked
N__B said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:21
OOOH! Teacher! Call on me! I know this one!
Can you limit yourself to a single answer this time, Mr. N____B?
The answer is: lack of PENIS!
Where’s my gold star?
Jacob Singer said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:23
I imagine Brandi surfing the web all day, going from blog to blog to chastize people about their troll interactions.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:28
OT, but from the vault of unintentional humor:
No-one could have predicted tea-baggers would be so mocked
That’s great, Ted. Liberals are truly subtle geniuses, managing to get the right wing to fervently adopt just exactly the term we want to mock.
I bet we all have cats, too; and big leather swivel chairs.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:29
The answer is: lack of PENIS!
Mr. __B, you neglect the use of the digits, as well as the tongue. Lack of PENIS does not prevent one from being an ardent and successful lover.
No gold star for you today, young man.
owlbear1 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:29
Factual piece of evidence: The Republican candidate for NY-23 is no longer in the race.
Factual piece of evidence: That district has elected Republicans for decades if not since the Civil War.
Factual piece of evidence: The former Republican candidate has endorsed the current Democrat running for the seat.
Somehow all of that translates into proof Republicans are making a comeback.
Lucky for Goppers heart-rate and respiration don’t take any conscious effort and defecation has a gravity assist.
Larkspur said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:31
Hey. Leave Brandi aloooone. I made a comment about troll-feeding as well. I don’t feel particularly upset about it (the troll-feeding), what with the KILL option. I wasn’t chastising nobody about nothing. But if you really want me to, I’ll chastise you from now till last Tuesday.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:32
I imagine Brandi surfing the web all day, going from blog to blog to chastize people about their troll interactions.
I admit that a parody concern troll, eliciting responses from blog commenters by complaining about blog commenters responding to trolls, is a subtle performance.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:33
No-one could have predicted tea-baggers would be so mocked
I’m with zrm, great link. I wonder why sixth graders are talking about tea-bagging? Perhaps they were discussing tax policy and the state of health care in the country. Perhaps they play Halo. Either way, it certainly is all Norbizness’ fault.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:33
The list, you see, was larded with common and easily mistaken names as a crude practical joke designed to trap conservative bloggers into saying something stupid. Yowser. That’s like blaming the bottle of vodka for a DWI . . . and really meaning it.
My Sveda loves me!
tigrismus said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:33
Lack of PENIS does not prevent one from being an ardent and successful lover.
And just how would you know that, Mr. Zomb… nevermind.
Steerpike said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:33
News item: The next protest campaign will kick off in the heartland of Ohio. An old-fashioned steam-engine will pull out of Cleveland’s Union Station next month with a trainload of angry taxpayers on a cross-country tour to demonstrate in distressed rust-belt towns across the midwest.
All aboard the CLEVELAND STEAMER!!
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:35
Why are Grill’s comments coming out in grayscale?
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:36
No one could foresee sixth-grade boys joking about sexual terms.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:36
Lack of PENIS does not prevent one from being an ardent and successful lover.
1.5 million lesbians can’t be wrong!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:36
In other news, boys in grade school laughed out loud when one of them said FART. I blame teh Leftsists.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:37
It’s sort of like crazy cat ladies, but the smell’s worse and more pervasive.
Hey, don’t blame US for your synesthesia!
Larkspur said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:38
Oh no, zombie rotten mcd, we’re back to that riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, with that hideous soft chewy center. (Remember that Larson cartoon about what an igloo looks like to a polar bear?)
tigrismus said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:39
It’s nice that the left can mainstream a disgusting pornographic term with
no repercussions.
I KNOW! Can you believe when the left suggested to the right that they call themselves teabaggers, and they totally did?!!
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:41
Oh no, zombie rotten mcd, we’re back to that riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, with that hideous soft chewy center.
..urronded by a thin, thin, thin 16 millimeter shell. And inside? It’s delicious! That’s Arnie’s Whole beef Halves!
Larkspur said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:41
If those sixth-graders were being properly home-schooled, they wouldn’t know nothin’ ’bout teabagging. And they wouldn’t be able to read about it, either.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:43
If those sixth-graders were being properly home-schooled, they wouldn’t know nothin’ ’bout teabagging.
‘Scept that it’s kept in th’ fambly…
Center Left Grrrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:46
u r all obsessed with people being effing gay, not like me and my lesbian friends
Jacob Singer said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:51
Our long national nightmare is over!
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:53
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
So this is it, this is the moment when the conservative bowel movements begin. Its comeback to haunt us. This is the day when the voters look at the Socialist cabal running the country from Washington and shout “MORE! PLEASE!” This is the day when the Republican Party shows the wisdom of purging RINOs and nominating true conservatives like in NY-23, thus handing the country on a silver platter to a progressive hegemony that will last a hundred years.
This is our day, our moment when we the Democrats begin to run the country according to the principles of Washington and Jefferson, not Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand.
FIXED!
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:54
Troofie is the Tokyo Rose of the Republican Party. The Lord Haw Haw. The Pravda of Pussilanimous Pudwhustles. The Ayatollah of Codswallop. The Pinochet of Pinched Anuses.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:57
This is the day when conservatives …. maintain their hold on an upper New York district, that has been held by Republicans for decades?
That’s not a turning tide, that’s the same old stopped-up flow.
And what do you have against the Firesign Theater?
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:58
Troofie is the Joseph Goebells of Knob Gobbling. The Catcher to Mark Foley’s Pitcher. The Bullhorn To The Ineffectual. The Snidely Whiplash to the Huckleberry Hound of the GOP (yes, I know, mixed cartoon venues…sue me). The Footsy Pajama to the Republican Bassinet. The Ass Face of the Moose head on the Wall.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:58
Troofus is back flirting with actor.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 18:59
This is the day when conservatives …. maintain their hold on an upper New York district, that has been held by Republicans for decades?
I didn’t want to point that out, zrm.
Center Left Grrrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:00
judgment day, y won’t u return my calls?
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:01
Troofus is the silicone implant on the Breast of conservatism
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:01
Troofie’s the “Pfft” in Snap Crackle Pop.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:02
I saw that guy from NY-23 on Colbert last night. He could barely talk to Glenn Fuh-Beck. Total deer in the headlights look, in the friendliest venue he’s ever gonna get.
Yeah, he’s gonna be a BIG success in government. And I wonder how the other Republicans are going to feel about working with him, given the things he’s been saying about the leadership?
One termer. At best. Bookmark it, Troofus!
Hah. Might as well give Tommy Thompson the call up from the bullpen for 2012, because that might be tha last guy standing.
laym said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:02
any other lib who wants to sack up can, too
Can’t you buy a fella a beer and some food first, ya cheapskate?
Fuck Dembfuck Day said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:02
Uh, Dumbfuck Day,
The Republican Party didn’t purge any RINOs. Their candidate ran away, like Sarah Palin. If elected, Hoffman will govern like Jefferson — Jefferson Davis — with Glenn Beck’s knob in his gob.
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:02
Who was Jeff Gannon POURING THE PORK TO at the White House?
Remember that GWB was president of his fraternity (heh!!!) at Dartmouth (heh heh !!!).
And while he was there, he would BRAND THE ASSES of underclassmen, and when questioned by the newspaper said it was no big deal.
gwb never attended dartmouth, einstein. he went 2 yale.
lurk moar.
Judgment Day's Mom said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:03
Don’t take it personally, Center Left Grrrrrl. Our boy has never related easily to women. If only he spent less time on that silly Dungeons and Dragons…
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:04
Troofie is the Old Milwaukee of the beer aisle.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:04
Troofy is the anal wart on the fat gasbag of Republicanism.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:05
Troofie is the Lima Bean flavor in the Starburst pack
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:06
Troofie is the U-turn on a one way street.
OneMan said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:07
“So this is it…” blah blah blah.
Yep, this is the day when Obama’s approval ratings dip into the low 50% range.
This is the day when only 65% of Americans are in favor of a public option to healthcare.
This is the day when the Republicans discover that all the tea partying and Glenn Beck bawwwing and Rush party leading has amounted to…a fizzle.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:11
Troofie is the deer tick in the vast forest of knowledge.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:11
Troofie is the ignor- in the -anus of the Republican party.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:12
Troofie’s been right less often than a clock that loses one minute every year.
Sir Ellis P. Worthington III, Esq. said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:12
My town is all set to elect a republican as dogcatcher. This is clearly a rejection of the Obama communiss agenda and the beginning of the end for the Democrat party.
laym said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:13
I predict that annoying commenters will continue to make annoying comments, with no sense of shame or history whatsoever.
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:16
“Actawh”?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:16
I’m not sure I understand how the whole purge thing is supposed to work. Is the GOP setting new record lows for party ID and record highs for disapproval because it’s too moderate? Really?
What happened to teh Boosh Boogeyman? I thought the only reason for the ’06 amd ’08 blowouts was because everyone hated Chimpy McFlightsuit. I suppose it’s my poor memory that’s skewing my view, but I don’t think people hated Bush because he was too moderate.
I guess it’s that whole faith thing they have. Faith in “conservatism”, which can not fail, but can only be failed. And the only way “conservatism” can be failed, is by not being “conservative” enough. So of course the answer to the mass exodus from the GOP is banishment of anyone left that might leave later.
Sir Ellis P. Worthington III, Esq. said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:17
Though, if Troofie’s predictions do come true, the sheer amount of ejaculate that gets lodged in his keyboard should at least prevent him from strutting around here for a couple-few days. So, we got that going for us….
Ted the Slacker said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:18
I’m not sure I understand how the whole purge thing is supposed to work.
You assume it’s been thought through.
Sir Ellis P. Worthington III, Esq. said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:19
The conservative brand is stronger than ever.
Tee hee. So precious.
tigrismus said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:21
Hoffman? He’s great, I loved Kater Murr! And the short stories are fabulous, too!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:22
Okay then. One argument says that the purge of moderates from the GOP is the key to mainstream electoral success because lots of folks self-identify as conservatives (and apparently vote for Barack “The Islamic Shock” Hussain Obama as well as other Democrats). The other argument is that tea-baggers are fucking tools. I’m going to have to go with TtS on this one.
laym said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:22
Luckily, Hoffman will have Tedisco to help him get settled in his Congressional offices … oh, wait.
Center Left Grrrrrl said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:24
Judgment Day has spelled “Judgment” wrong. More like Judgement [sic] Day. loliocpterz
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:31
Those were the days, yeah.
N__B said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:32
Lack of PENIS does not prevent one from being an ardent and successful lover.
It does David Brooks, who lacks the imagination and opposable thumbs necessary for non-penile forms of sexual athletics.
Henry Lytton said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:33
I am the very model of a modern major-General.
Ted the Slacker said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:41
The other argument is that tea-baggers are fucking tools.
Well indeed, anyone who thinks that Dick Armey and Sarah Palin and other shitbag grifters are fighting for them is probably getting his IQ measured on the Richter scale.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:47
Well, before moving on to hte next thread to yak about purges, I just want to say that I made my predictions well before Teh GOS. Ten hours and seven minutes to be precise.
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 20:06
Rusty Shackleford said,
November 3, 2009 at 19:16
“Actawh”?
I imagine Troofie is channeling his inner Daffy Duck, and hear him say this.
OK. So not so inner…
Parrotlover77 said,
November 3, 2009 at 20:15
I require photographic evidence of this before I make my decision. About 46 seconds worth should do.
tequilamemnon said,
November 3, 2009 at 20:21
digusting is this?
Davis I should note also defended a cult leader Jim Jones, and she’s an obvious hypocrite when it comes to demanding the end of the prisoner-industrial-complex here in the USA, but had no problem to give speaking engagements to obvious totalitarian societies of Soviet-controlled East Germany and support Communist Cuba.
Hypocrite? I’m sure she is.
Turing test fail. This is artificially gennerated.
Substance McGravitas said,
November 3, 2009 at 20:39
It’s still possible to avoid being a hypocrite while saying “the US incarceration rate is too high” and clinking glasses with dictators.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_pri_per_cap-crime-prisoners-per-capita
dadanarchist said,
November 3, 2009 at 20:53
This makes me want to change my name to Assata Shakur and donate enough money to the DNC just so we could see the wingnuts attempt to explain how she might have possibly visited the White House.
Joe Max said,
November 3, 2009 at 21:26
(Offer not good after curfew in sectors R or N.)
actor212 said,
November 3, 2009 at 21:45
Thirsty?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 22:24
Not that anybody cares:
Ten hours and seven minutes to be precise.
CA-10. Garamendi 53 – Harmer 40 – Others 7 (mostly DeSaulnier)
Jennifer said,
November 3, 2009 at 22:36
“Judgement” is not a misspelling.
The “judgment” abortion only came about because some smartass decided he should “Americanize” certain spellings. “Judgment” is not only a stupid way to spell it, it’s phonetically wrong. There’s a reason to put an “e” at the end of “judge” – it’s your cue as to the sound of the “g”. Phonetically, the retarded “judgment” spelling, sounded out, results in “judd – GUH – ment”, not “judd-je-ment” as we all know it is actually, you know, pronounced.
Think I’m wrong? Ok. “Lug” and “luge”. “Hug” and “huge”. “Gag” and “gage”. “Rag” and “rage”.
Letters, like words, have meanings – in this case, to tell you how the word is pronounced. So, aside from “judgement” being the MORE correct spelling, it’s also an accepted variant to the retarded American “simplification” of the spelling. It’s not “incorrect”.
Then again, I wouldn’t expect a douchebag troll to get that.
Doctorb said,
November 3, 2009 at 22:41
Remember when they found out that a guy named Ahmad Hikmat Shakir Azzawi was in al-Qaeda and a guy named Hikmat Shakir Ahmad who was in Saddam’s Fedayeen? And there was this massive outpouring of HA WE TOLD YOU, LOOK, THEY ARE PRACTICALLY THE SAME THING!
And also Saddam Hussein had a secretary named Ali, and Muhammad Ali once met a guy named Hussein. COINCIDENCE, OR PSYCHIC PHENOMENON?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
November 3, 2009 at 22:44
Not that anybody cares:
Did I really call for a write-in to get up to 7%? Okay, let me try that again:
CA-10. Garamendi 56 – Harmer 42 – Others 2
Obama's Secret Police2 said,
November 4, 2009 at 7:05
Longer list:
I.P. Freely
Seymour Butz
Al K. Seltzer
Amanda Lay
Richard Cranium
Mike Hunt
Neil and Bob
Conspiracy is afoot. Get Beck on the horn NOW!
Jay Are Eff said,
November 4, 2009 at 7:29
Is theresome reason I can’t see Troofles’ comments?
Jay Are Eff said,
November 4, 2009 at 7:34
That was ALMOST the best mispelling ever.
GreddJudd said,
November 5, 2009 at 14:50
The deal is. I could care less about the communist visitors to the White House. I could care less about Republicans or Democrats. Thing is its nice to see a little justice here. Iraq chopping up a people who did absolutely nothing too you. All, the while you walked around like the big stupid asses you are. Pretending nothing is wrong.
Know what your still doing it. You think its all gone. Well guess what sparky. It’s not. Rocky the squirrel could run a government better than you people. Your self – righteousness is nothing but a inverted, perverted bum puking in lower Manhattan.
Everything is a discussion. Nothing but talk. Heres one for you. Time to try on the clothes you made everyone else wear. See how it fits. I’m not smiling. I’m laughing.
jgmurphy said,
November 9, 2009 at 7:20
Somehow, the Angela Davis tale reminds me of the time my Daddy had explained to me how Castro was a very bad man and how we had to fight Communism because all the Commies did was drag people into prisons and make everyone wear the same colors; and the very next day I was in the car with my mother and we passed a furniture store that had a big sign, “Castro Convertibles.” I was incensed that this terrible man was allowed to sell his couches in America.
Of course, I was five at the time. What’s their excuse?