A War on Two Fronts

Hmmm…

While we were busy pummelling the Editors with Stryper, Styx, Wesley Willis, Dio and Billy Ray Cyrus, it seems that Atrios launched a direct assault on our shores. And quite a formidable attack it was- there is almost nothing more painful than watching the ’85 Bears performing the “Super Bowl Shuffle.”

Note how I said “almost.”

Yes, that’s John Bolton’s barely-less-evil twin brother Michael. What’s that, Atrios? You want more? OK. How about THE FULL FIVE MINUTE VERSION OF “LET THE EAGLE SOAR!!!!!!”


Gavin adds: Sneak attack by the Liberal Avenger. Apparently he thinks ‘Ca Plane Pour Moi’ is annoying. Cha. Pff. Tt. Kh. Take this:

Although Taco’s ‘Putting on the Ritz’ has drained our shields, and we’re now taking shots to the hull… Gavin out.


I expect total surrender by this afternoon.

UPDATE: Ask

ok, you might have a winner…

unless someone gets Colin Powell singing YMCA.


…and ye shall receive.

 

Comments: 41

 
 
 

Three independent sources have sent me the texts of e-mails from the “Townhouse” list indicating that Markos “Kos” Moulitsas has ordered his blogofascist minions to coordinate a campaign to distract the Netroots® with ’80s videos.

(I’ll check my sources as soon as someone important enough questions the authenticity of these e-mails.)

 
 

Aaaaaaaarghhhhh! Collateral damages are HEAVY as Brad launches the Bolton/Ashcroft VMDs.

I was so hoping to wake up to a new dawn with fewer shitty videos…

 
 

How dare you post “Let the Eagle Soar”. Don’t you know if enough people click on it , it will bring the apocalypse? Can’t we please at least wait till after the midterms in Nov. before we make a decision on that?

 
 

Can’t we please at least wait till after the midterms in Nov. before we make a decision on that?

Sorry, but “Let the Eagle Soar” is a big hit with the Sadly, No! base. It’s a great way to rally the troops.

 
 

Argg… three more shots at ya wit Primus, GWAR, and Eddie Murphy singing

AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS!

 
 

Mark- in a smaller conflict, those would be impressive weapons. But c’mon, I just dropped JOHN ASHCROFT singing THE FULL FIVE MINUTE VERSION of his magnum opus “Let the Eagle Soar.”

 
 

I’d only ever seen a brief clip of “Let the Eagle Soar.” That’s amazing. It’s like a parody of bad lounge singer, complete with cheesy voice theatrics and dopey hand gestures.

I’m sorry. That wins. Hands down. I don’t think “Armi ja Danni” were even taking themselves a tenth that seriously, and…well…that was the Attorney General of the United States of America!

…!!!

 
 

…!!!

 
 

Is “Let The Eagle Soar” availabe somewhere on .mp3 or on iTunes?

It fails the pain test and jumps straight to hysterical.

On the other hand, while this makes me nostalgic, I’m sure it will induce seizures in others – and since it’s from the 70s it falls outside the kill-zone.

 
 

Argg… the Liberal Avenger is shooting at ye too…

 
 

I confess! I confess!

Dammit, I mean I surrender! Have mercy.

I just come here for the Yoshida, Pammy and Malkin pics.
Oh, and Christian manga and Prussian Blue.
And all that other crap you guys throw at us.

Now stop hitting me with lame videos or I’ll slap you with my cock!

 
 

ok, you might have a winner…

unless someone gets Colin Powell singing YMCA. 🙂

 
 

And lest we forget, Ashcroft lost to a dead guy. A.dead.guy. Oh the cobaggery!

 
 

And he runs scared from bare boobies.

 
 

Heh, I bow to the master. 🙂

 
 

I think we need to adopt a bloggers’ version of Mutually Assured Destruction.

 
 

[…] Really, really annoying videos? […]

 
 

I must sadly report that Atrios’s volley with the infamous “USA” video is the bunker-busting Mother of All Bombs and that it is doubtful that any of the other combattants have any choice now other than absolute surrender. I was rooting for Brad but I’m afraid that even he can’t respond to the WMD just used by Atrios.

 
 

Might I offer a couple videos to help in the war? How about stunning with Pop Muzik and then using the scud missle of Bush singing Imagine?

 
 

[…] So, who can post the most annoying music videos in recorded human history – Bradrocket? Atrios? The Editors? […]

 
 

I see The Editors just pulled out Pia Zadora. I say strike back with Samantha Fox.

 
 

My god, this is like watching WWI replay itself, with all of the secret alliances finally being made public.

Atrios had a backroom agreement with The Editors? The Liberal Avenger is playing both ends against the middle in proper Ottoman fashion? What next – some sort of blatant propaganda ploy to draw a totally uninvolved party like Andrew Sullivan into this right near the end? A peace treaty that requires S,N! to say nice things about Michelle Malkin once a week, so that all the regular S,N! readers will complain for years about the vicious stab in the back from Brad, who’s obviously part of the wicked Atrios/Kos/liberal blogger elite agenda?

All I can say is that whatever Manhattan Project of video evilness y’all are working on – please, don’t do it. Think of the children. Think of the kittens. There must be peace – peace in our time. Stop the madness.

 
 

I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but since the carnage is getting out of hand, I feel honor-bound to deliver to you the ultimate weapon: the astrology songs of Harvey Sid Fisher.

It’s a deadly dozen, with a single song more powerful than everything here combined. Please promise me you’ll use them solely for the forces of good, and not evil.

 
 

*sob* Oh God… the horror. This is why diplomacy matters.

 
 

[…] I'm a little unclear on who started it. But Atrios, Sadly No and The Poor Man are dropping music video bombs. […]

 
 

The Liberal Avenger is playing both ends against the middle in proper Ottoman fashion?

My ears are burning!

No, really. I lit a Q-tip to look inside.

 
 

the astrology songs of Harvey Sid Fisher.

The horror! The horror!

 
 

Harvey Sid Fisher:

Day 1: Exposure
Day 3: Infection
Day 8: Epidemic
Day 20: Evacuation
Day 28: Devastation

 
 

I’d forgotten how bad those Harvey Sid Fisher songs really were. Check out the Leo one. I’m pretty sure the video, with sassy feline sensibility and its interpretive dancer in a lion outfit, was the inspiration for “Cats.”

And such great lyrics: “I’m a lovin’ Leo lion, a winner without fail, I’m a lovin’ Leo lion, from my mane down to my tail! A flare for fashion, affairs of passion, sometimes in secret and shame! I need more sex than most, it’s not a secret or boast, and if you love me you’ll do the same!”

Sweet Zombie Jesus, I feel like Oppenheimer for unleashing this horror on the world.

 
 

Gemini: “One twin wants to plan the war, the other one will march; one twin likes to make the love, the other likes to watch.”

I want to stop, but I can’t. It’s like a sore tooth I can’t stop touching.

 
 

Michael Bolton . . . I celebrate his entire catalog.

 
 

Sheesh…..there’s a lyric in the “Aquarius” song that says

“For I am in love with you, manatee”.

And with that, something inside me broke, and it will never again be fixed.

 
 

[…] A vast war has been waged between three brutal forces. The severity of their violence has shocked all, but it is now that I must announce that The Baltimore Group has been the first victim of their unrelenting onslaught. Austin is missing, presumed dead, and my eyes and ears bleed from this sonic assault. With humility and hope that my actions will bring peace through the required introspection that the attackers must feel when learning of civilian casualties, I hereby surrender and respectfully ask that this war move to a different part of the internets. […]

 
 

I forwarded the Pisces one to my wife, and — no kidding — her computer speakers blew out when the song started.

It’s the computer version of falling on a hand grenade to save your comrades.

 
 

War is hell!

 
 

mark, you seem to be missing the point – posting BAD songs/videos. pop musik is a work of art. some would even call it a work of seminal genius.

sadly no should ally itself with china and end this thing once and for all.

 
 

Hey! I like GWAR! But, honest to goddess, this shit has got to stop.

I haven’t even made it as far as Atrios in my bookmarks, and I’m already taking meds.

I thought it was bad over at The Editors’ but WTF? Brad, Gavin, take a breath, have a beer, pace yourselves!

Thanks to whoever posted that me my mine whatever video (I am incapable of turning back at this point to see who it was), it was like a cleansing sorbet for my eyes.

 
 

John Bolton? Wasn’t that the guy in Office Space? Oooohh, wait, this is the “no-talent ass-clown” Michael Bolton.

 
 

All I can say is that whatever Manhattan Project of video evilness y’all are working on – please, don’t do it.

Not “Manhattan Project.” Manhattan Transfer.

 
 

[…] We are only just beginning to recover after the massive devastation. Initially I have to admit I thought we could survive unscathed, having built up a strong missile defense system through years of extensive research. We watched in awe as attack after vicious attack struck home, arogantly believing that we would be spared from the devestation. However, without the patented “Joe and the Bots” shield in place, our defenses quickly crumbled. […]

 
 

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