Jul
8

A War on Two Fronts




Posted at 16:31 by Brad

Hmmm…

While we were busy pummelling the Editors with Stryper, Styx, Wesley Willis, Dio and Billy Ray Cyrus, it seems that Atrios launched a direct assault on our shores. And quite a formidable attack it was- there is almost nothing more painful than watching the ’85 Bears performing the “Super Bowl Shuffle.”

Note how I said “almost.”

Yes, that’s John Bolton’s barely-less-evil twin brother Michael. What’s that, Atrios? You want more? OK. How about THE FULL FIVE MINUTE VERSION OF “LET THE EAGLE SOAR!!!!!!”


Gavin adds: Sneak attack by the Liberal Avenger. Apparently he thinks ‘Ca Plane Pour Moi’ is annoying. Cha. Pff. Tt. Kh. Take this:

Although Taco’s ‘Putting on the Ritz’ has drained our shields, and we’re now taking shots to the hull… Gavin out.


I expect total surrender by this afternoon.

UPDATE: Ask


ok, you might have a winner…

unless someone gets Colin Powell singing YMCA.


…and ye shall receive.

41 Comments »

  1. Jay Znegerle said,

    July 8, 2006 at 16:55

    Three independent sources have sent me the texts of e-mails from the “Townhouse” list indicating that Markos “Kos” Moulitsas has ordered his blogofascist minions to coordinate a campaign to distract the Netroots® with ’80s videos.

    (I’ll check my sources as soon as someone important enough questions the authenticity of these e-mails.)

  2. Marsupial said,

    July 8, 2006 at 16:55

    Aaaaaaaarghhhhh! Collateral damages are HEAVY as Brad launches the Bolton/Ashcroft VMDs.

    I was so hoping to wake up to a new dawn with fewer shitty videos…

  3. Oaktown Girl said,

    July 8, 2006 at 16:57

    How dare you post “Let the Eagle Soar”. Don’t you know if enough people click on it , it will bring the apocalypse? Can’t we please at least wait till after the midterms in Nov. before we make a decision on that?

  4. Brad R. said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:00

    Can’t we please at least wait till after the midterms in Nov. before we make a decision on that?

    Sorry, but “Let the Eagle Soar” is a big hit with the Sadly, No! base. It’s a great way to rally the troops.

  5. Mark said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:07

    Argg… three more shots at ya wit Primus, GWAR, and Eddie Murphy singing

    AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS!

  6. Brad R. said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:10

    Mark- in a smaller conflict, those would be impressive weapons. But c’mon, I just dropped JOHN ASHCROFT singing THE FULL FIVE MINUTE VERSION of his magnum opus “Let the Eagle Soar.”

  7. Mal de mer said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:14

    I’d only ever seen a brief clip of “Let the Eagle Soar.” That’s amazing. It’s like a parody of bad lounge singer, complete with cheesy voice theatrics and dopey hand gestures.

    I’m sorry. That wins. Hands down. I don’t think “Armi ja Danni” were even taking themselves a tenth that seriously, and…well…that was the Attorney General of the United States of America!

    …!!!

  8. Mal de mer said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:15

    …!!!

  9. Jim C. said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:19

    Is “Let The Eagle Soar” availabe somewhere on .mp3 or on iTunes?

    It fails the pain test and jumps straight to hysterical.

    On the other hand, while this makes me nostalgic, I’m sure it will induce seizures in others – and since it’s from the 70s it falls outside the kill-zone.

  10. Mark said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:22

    Argg… the Liberal Avenger is shooting at ye too…

  11. Richard 23 said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:23

    I confess! I confess!

    Dammit, I mean I surrender! Have mercy.

    I just come here for the Yoshida, Pammy and Malkin pics.
    Oh, and Christian manga and Prussian Blue.
    And all that other crap you guys throw at us.

    Now stop hitting me with lame videos or I’ll slap you with my cock!

  12. Mark said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:24

    ok, you might have a winner…

    unless someone gets Colin Powell singing YMCA. :)

  13. Richard 23 said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:25

    And lest we forget, Ashcroft lost to a dead guy. A.dead.guy. Oh the cobaggery!

  14. John M. Burt said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:31

    And he runs scared from bare boobies.

  15. Mark said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:31

    Heh, I bow to the master. :)

  16. Otto Man said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:45

    I think we need to adopt a bloggers’ version of Mutually Assured Destruction.

  17. The Poor Man Institute » Hey guys! said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:53

    [...] Really, really annoying videos? [...]

  18. Clif said,

    July 8, 2006 at 17:54

    I must sadly report that Atrios’s volley with the infamous “USA” video is the bunker-busting Mother of All Bombs and that it is doubtful that any of the other combattants have any choice now other than absolute surrender. I was rooting for Brad but I’m afraid that even he can’t respond to the WMD just used by Atrios.

  19. Mark said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:04

    Might I offer a couple videos to help in the war? How about stunning with Pop Muzik and then using the scud missle of Bush singing Imagine?

  20. Mark said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:10

    One last one… Freedom Fighters.

  21. Balloon Juice said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:35

    [...] So, who can post the most annoying music videos in recorded human history – Bradrocket? Atrios? The Editors? [...]

  22. J— said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:35

    I see The Editors just pulled out Pia Zadora. I say strike back with Samantha Fox.

  23. Jillian said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:42

    My god, this is like watching WWI replay itself, with all of the secret alliances finally being made public.

    Atrios had a backroom agreement with The Editors? The Liberal Avenger is playing both ends against the middle in proper Ottoman fashion? What next – some sort of blatant propaganda ploy to draw a totally uninvolved party like Andrew Sullivan into this right near the end? A peace treaty that requires S,N! to say nice things about Michelle Malkin once a week, so that all the regular S,N! readers will complain for years about the vicious stab in the back from Brad, who’s obviously part of the wicked Atrios/Kos/liberal blogger elite agenda?

    All I can say is that whatever Manhattan Project of video evilness y’all are working on – please, don’t do it. Think of the children. Think of the kittens. There must be peace – peace in our time. Stop the madness.

  24. Otto Man said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:44

    I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but since the carnage is getting out of hand, I feel honor-bound to deliver to you the ultimate weapon: the astrology songs of Harvey Sid Fisher.

    It’s a deadly dozen, with a single song more powerful than everything here combined. Please promise me you’ll use them solely for the forces of good, and not evil.

  25. islmfaoscist said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:48

    *sob* Oh God… the horror. This is why diplomacy matters.

  26. Bloated Plutocrats » Blog Archive » The YouTube War of aught six said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:50

    [...] I'm a little unclear on who started it. But Atrios, Sadly No and The Poor Man are dropping music video bombs. [...]

  27. Otto Man said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:52

    The Liberal Avenger is playing both ends against the middle in proper Ottoman fashion?

    My ears are burning!

    No, really. I lit a Q-tip to look inside.

  28. Marc said,

    July 8, 2006 at 18:54

    the astrology songs of Harvey Sid Fisher.

    The horror! The horror!

  29. dtestd said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:01

    Harvey Sid Fisher:

    Day 1: Exposure
    Day 3: Infection
    Day 8: Epidemic
    Day 20: Evacuation
    Day 28: Devastation

  30. Otto Man said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:04

    I’d forgotten how bad those Harvey Sid Fisher songs really were. Check out the Leo one. I’m pretty sure the video, with sassy feline sensibility and its interpretive dancer in a lion outfit, was the inspiration for “Cats.”

    And such great lyrics: “I’m a lovin’ Leo lion, a winner without fail, I’m a lovin’ Leo lion, from my mane down to my tail! A flare for fashion, affairs of passion, sometimes in secret and shame! I need more sex than most, it’s not a secret or boast, and if you love me you’ll do the same!”

    Sweet Zombie Jesus, I feel like Oppenheimer for unleashing this horror on the world.

  31. Otto Man said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:08

    Gemini: “One twin wants to plan the war, the other one will march; one twin likes to make the love, the other likes to watch.”

    I want to stop, but I can’t. It’s like a sore tooth I can’t stop touching.

  32. lawtalkinguy said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:13

    Michael Bolton . . . I celebrate his entire catalog.

  33. Jillian said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:18

    Sheesh…..there’s a lyric in the “Aquarius” song that says

    “For I am in love with you, manatee”.

    And with that, something inside me broke, and it will never again be fixed.

  34. Emboldened » Blog Archive » We surrender said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:28

    [...] A vast war has been waged between three brutal forces. The severity of their violence has shocked all, but it is now that I must announce that The Baltimore Group has been the first victim of their unrelenting onslaught. Austin is missing, presumed dead, and my eyes and ears bleed from this sonic assault. With humility and hope that my actions will bring peace through the required introspection that the attackers must feel when learning of civilian casualties, I hereby surrender and respectfully ask that this war move to a different part of the internets. [...]

  35. Otto Man said,

    July 8, 2006 at 19:28

    I forwarded the Pisces one to my wife, and — no kidding — her computer speakers blew out when the song started.

    It’s the computer version of falling on a hand grenade to save your comrades.

  36. Enslaved said,

    July 8, 2006 at 20:35

    War is hell!

  37. ron said,

    July 8, 2006 at 21:35

    mark, you seem to be missing the point – posting BAD songs/videos. pop musik is a work of art. some would even call it a work of seminal genius.

    sadly no should ally itself with china and end this thing once and for all.

  38. Gentlewoman said,

    July 8, 2006 at 23:14

    Hey! I like GWAR! But, honest to goddess, this shit has got to stop.

    I haven’t even made it as far as Atrios in my bookmarks, and I’m already taking meds.

    I thought it was bad over at The Editors’ but WTF? Brad, Gavin, take a breath, have a beer, pace yourselves!

    Thanks to whoever posted that me my mine whatever video (I am incapable of turning back at this point to see who it was), it was like a cleansing sorbet for my eyes.

  39. progprog said,

    July 9, 2006 at 14:37

    John Bolton? Wasn’t that the guy in Office Space? Oooohh, wait, this is the “no-talent ass-clown” Michael Bolton.

  40. Marq said,

    July 9, 2006 at 21:48

    All I can say is that whatever Manhattan Project of video evilness y’all are working on – please, don’t do it.

    Not “Manhattan Project.” Manhattan Transfer.

  41. Feeblemind » The horror… the horror… said,

    July 13, 2006 at 22:40

    [...] We are only just beginning to recover after the massive devastation. Initially I have to admit I thought we could survive unscathed, having built up a strong missile defense system through years of extensive research. We watched in awe as attack after vicious attack struck home, arogantly believing that we would be spared from the devestation. However, without the patented “Joe and the Bots” shield in place, our defenses quickly crumbled. [...]

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