“Marie’s column is the spleevingest schpledunklest thing I’ve ever read.� “Marie’s gwartoltonic column makes me want to transpistonograph myself.� “EEEEEEEEE, RAORAGH LARFANI GHONOUSH LEFANDLE Marie Jon’ TWARWILLIGEROSO!!!�

Did you work for MAD magazine before coming to SN, Brad?

I wish. That’d mean I’d be getting paid for some of this shit 😉

non-Christians will find no solace in the windmill of their minds of disbelief.

As a Christian, I hope I can discover comforting in the waterwheel of my intestines of denial.

Sweet zombie Jesus. The only way that column makes sense is if she composed it with the help of a bottle of White Zinfandel and the new Townhall.com Mad Libs series.

I found a whole peanut in my stool once.

Is this woman considered a seriuos writer? I was born and raised in Catholic Ireland (abortion is illegal here) and I dont think I’ve ever heard such nonsense. Its 2006 FFS.

Im just curiuos about how much of a fringe figure she is.

I went and looked at their pictures of the “Ark” and what they describe as looking like wood looks a lot like iron-rich pelitic schist (basically metamorphosed layered sediments). Of course I’m a geologist that studies these same rocks so I’m probably prejudiced.

Im just curiuos about how much of a fringe figure she is.

She’s out there, but people who think like Marie are what I’d call a significant minority in this country- maybe 20%. For a long time they stayed out of politics, but they came aboard with Reagan and have stayed right through with Dubya.

So this means that Marie doesn’t believe any of the seven or eight earlier discoveries of the Ark are genuine? Wow, it’s a miracle!

God, I hope it’s true. Ever since the Shroud of Turin was revealed to be a fraud, the destruction of my faith has pushed me towards Satanism. It’s not all that bad, but I I’m running out of stray neighbourhood kittens to sacrifice.

Ah, what the hell. I think I’ll just start worshipping the Goddess Marie; Afterall, I am, like all reality, only a reflection of Her will.

The ACLU ilk

“Ilk” has officially jumped the shark. And set a new height record.

I can’t imagine what it could be if it is not the Ark

You really need to exercise that imagination, Dr. Science, it’s become shrivelled and frail through disuse.

dinosaurs were painted in a crude fashion on the walls of the caverns

MJ’ would paint far less crude wooly mammothosaurs, red deerosaurs, horsosaurs, buffalosaurs…

All our B.A.S.E. are belong to Marie Jon’Benet!

I thnk you guys are very lucky to have the Founding Fathers that you had. Imagine if your constitution began like Ireland’s….

“In the Name of the Most Holy Trinity, from Whom is all authority and to Whom, as our final end, all actions both of men and States must be referred,
We, the people of Éire,
Humbly acknowledging all our obligations to our Divine Lord, Jesus Christ, Who sustained our fathers through centuries of trial,
Gratefully remembering their heroic and unremitting struggle to regain the rightful independence of our Nation….”

I think by now the US of A would make Suadi Arabia look like a liberal utopia.

Yeah. You know, when an author ends her first name with an apostrophe, and makes an (inadvertent?) shout out to Dusty Springfield fans, and neither is the silliest thing in the essay, you’re in the presence of genius.

Im just curiuos about how much of a fringe figure she is.

Well, she seems to be smoking the same memetic $#17 that Kent Hovind is….

MJ’ would paint far less crude wooly mammothosaurs, red deerosaurs, horsosaurs, buffalosaurs…

Bonus: She wouldn’t have to fingerpaint the wooly mammothosaurs, red deerosaurs, horsosaurs, buffalosaurs, etc.

Save Marie’s column as the new benchmark against which all others will be compared. This one is 10 Maries.

I think by now the US of A would make Suadi Arabia look like a liberal utopia.

A few more generations of conservatives like Marie Jon’Benet in charge, and Saudi Arabia WILL look like a liberal utopia.

“Well, she seems to be smoking the same memetic $#17 that Kent Hovind is….”

LOL, that site is unreal. “Defeat Darwin Month”, golden!!!

“A few more generations of conservatives like Marie Jon’Benet in charge, and Saudi Arabia WILL look like a liberal utopia.”

I thnk you guys will be alright. I used to think “God, thoose yanks are so dumb” when I read stuff like this, but now the depth of stupidity of the minority just proves how intellegnt the rest of you must be. Otherwise I’m pretty sure ye would have starved to death by now.

“They are the ones that are thick as thieves…”

Every time I think I have a real ability to mimic the writing style of these dodos, something like this appears and I have to scourge myself with a lash made of old, unused dot matrix printer ribbons, and then sit quietly and contemplate my sins.

“…from American’s arena of public thought.” Note, here–and ignoring the brain-damaged typo–the essentially arbitrary arrangement of key words. This woman’s mind is like a refrigerator door covered with those little single-word tiles for making random poetry. On which are also proudly displayed wonderful fingerpaintings by her neice, who is four!

“Other national parks, such as Zion in Utah, also point to Noah’s plight.”

The dependable pomposity and proud, nostril-flaring tone-deafness of wingnut writing: where would we be without it? Surely in a poorer American arena of thought, in public, thick as thieves and pointing to our own plight. That’s where.

they came aboard with Reagan and have stayed right through with Dubya

Civil rights split the major denominations. Nixon, the “counterculture”, and television brought the backwoods fundies out of the woods and into the Glorious Light of Commerce. Prior to that fundies were very suspicious of money. I had an uncle who had a regional sales route through Kentucky and Tennessee in the late 60s-early 70s. He kept a fifteen-year-old junker on hand to drive his territory, and said he only made the mistake of wearing a tie once.

But by and large, it’s race, and the only reason it seems to have sprung up with Reagan is that it was electorially supressed for a time by Watergate. Marie (and ilk) are second-generationers raised with this shit.

Wow. Just wow. I have seen lunacy before but this sort of crazed rantings, devoid of any logical thought, would put a schizophrenic in a high security mental institution.

First up, even if you wish to discount pretty much every fundamental scientific basis of the universe and declare the universe 10,000 years old, the story of Noah takes place in Genesis, which would make the ark at least 8000 years old. Nothing “wooden” would survive that long, unless it was petrified and if it was petrified, an almighty “how” comes rushing to my head.

Second of all, the Story of Noah makes no sense whatsoever literally. If Noah were to have gathered one male and one female of every animal, considering that there are millions of species on this planet (and billions of insects), that’s a lot of animals, a lot of food for those animals and a lot of animal droppings to be compressed into a boat that’s 450 feet long and 75 feet wide. This is in fact one of the reasons Darwin started thinking about evolution, because he couldn’t explain how a single boat could have contained all the multitudes of creatures he saw in the Galapagos, let alone the world.

Thirdly, we all know that the Ark is being stored in a government warehouse somewhere, in order to keep it out the hands of the Nazis and perhaps the Islamexicommunards.

Wow. The next time I go to the barber I’m telling him, “Give me Stryper hair!”

Many of my erstwhile West Oakland neighbors made similar discoveries with the help of BASE.

This makes Randroid Pam seem sane … how can she pack so much crap into one column?

“the true story of Noah to a happy ending.”

is it only me? really? i mean, all those creatures on a boat, needing to procreate, having perhaps the all-time simultaneous orgasm…

now that is the fucking happy ending to end them all.

also, can one be thick as thieves without anyone else in the room? a question the counsel of elders could have spent many a year considering once upon a time.

God’s rainbow of promises brings the true story of Noah to a happy ending.

The human race was obliterated, but lo! there was much rejoicing, because me and my cousins were spared, and we snagged a few jugs of wine bobbing in the flood..

Oh, and now we don’t have to fear another flood killing everyone. Next time it’ll be fire and brimstone raining from the heavens.
Huzzah!

Other national parks, such as Zion in Utah, also point to Noah’s plight.

Umm, which ones would that be, Marie Jon’? Big Bend National Park? Theodore Rooseveldt National Park? The Everglades? Katmai? Haleakala? The Cuyahoga Valley? I’m pretty sure Noah’s Plight was not to take a years vacation to tour the American National Park System. Not with ALL his freakin pets! Hell, I’m pretty sure even s.z. would leave MOST of the animals at home for a vacation like that.

And Doghouse, it’s generally accepted that while the civil rights movement began to politicize the American evangelical community, it was the abortion rights movement leading up to Roe that created the symbiotic relationship between evangelical christians and the republican party.

Just Sayin

mikey

Out of sheer curiosity, is Marie Catholic?

The tricky part about finding the Ark of the Covenent is getting Marie past all the snakes.

Out of sheer curiosity, is Marie Catholic?

No way. That’s pure 100% American Evangelical Christianity at work.

“Institute members hiked for seven hours in the mountains northwest of Tehran, climbing 13,000 feet before making the apparent discovery…‘It wasn’t impressive at first,’ Cornuke said. ‘Certainly didn’t think it to be Noah’s Ark. But when we got close, we were amazed.”

Sure. Because archeologists are always stumbling upon intact finds upon the surface of the earth, and they always know exactly what they’ve found the minute they see it.

No need to excavate or perform any technical analysis on what you find; you see it and Presto! You know you’ve found Noah’s Ark!

Hike for 7 hours up to 13,000 feet, just happen to stumble directly on an intact Noah’s Ark, announce your discovery. This sounds exactly like the plot of a B movie I’ve seen once.

Hmm. Can anyone climb 13,000 feet in seven hours? I hike in the Santa Monica mountains a lot, and it takes me about 3 hours to do a 4 mile round trip on well-maintained fire roads. And that’s with a bottle of water and a fanny pack, not a backpack full of, you know, archeology tools.

“dinosaurs were painted in a crude fashion on the walls of the caverns. These specific findings also unlocked truth cornering the biblical story of Noah.”

Umm…how can you get away with citing specific findings without citing, er, specific findings? Which cave paintings? What exactly about them supports the story of Noah’s ark? And what’s with this gratuitous labeling of cave paintings as “crude?” Frankly, the Lascaux paintings are incredible in their artistic grace and beauty.

“The Grand Canyon holds the key to knowledge of a great flood” — well, the Canyon certainly indicates the power of water to shape the earth, but what is this “knowledge” it proves?

And what exactly is “Noah’s plight?” Although feeding and watering all those animals would be rather a challenge.

“The La Brea Tar Pits In Southern California is another outstanding validity of the “Great I Am.” All these exhibits attest to the flood ordained by God.”

GAH!!! The Tar Pits ARE….oh wait. She’s saying that the Pits = validity. Her sentance is too stupid for me to even criticize the grammar.

I wonder if she’s actually visited the Tar Pits. A couple of plastic mammoths standing in an oily swamp doesn’t reveal much to me about God, but maybe that’s just me. I’m a little unclear how animals – mammals, NOT dinosaurs, in the case of the Tar Pits – preserved in oil deposits close to the earth’s surface say much of anything about God that the rest of the natural world doesn’t already say. And how do preserved mammals’ bodies in oil say anything about flooding?

I almost spit out my coffee reading “striping.”

And just because I am a lazy slut and have nothing else to do on this fine morning, I just visited the George R. Page Museum’s site. The mammals preserved in the La Brea Tar Pits date from about 25,000 years ago.

Noah’s ark is thought to have happened 8,000 years ago, as someone said above. What is the connection between mammoth bones and something that may have happened 16,000 years after they were sucked into the tar?

There were no cave paintings of dinosaurs. Everyone knows the dinosaurs became extinct thousands of years earlier. Well, everyone except Marie, I guess.

also, can one be thick as thieves without anyone else in the room?

It depends how thick the thieves are. Naive persons might suggest taking a guided tour of the White House (home of some of the world’s thickest thieves), diving into a deserted mop cupboard, and rereading a Marie Jon’ column ten times in a row. On the other hand you may want to practise first with thieves who aren’t quite that thick, to avoid the inevitable frustration of failed thickness in the face of that thicket of thickness where both thickness and failure lie thickest. Or something like that.

There were no cave paintings of dinosaurs.

That’s because them dinosaurs done gone licked ’em off.

I bet the B.A.S.E scienticians find tyrannosaur teeth marks on the ark timbers, which will prove that Noah used dino- labor to build his boat.

Can’t you imagine a big, scary lizard chomping gopher-wood cross-beams to size, then shrugging his tiny shoulders and saying “Eh, it’s a living”?

Those B.A.S.E. guys have been wanking around there specifically looking for Noah’s Ark. If they didn’t find something-anything-they could pass off to the credulous as the Ark, their funding would vanish. PZ (I think) had a link to an article about these loons a while back.

I picture this poor Marie Jon’ (why the apostrophe? does anyone know? is it just a typo?) being instructed to keep a journal by her therapist. You know, to help her with self-esteem or something, and then, the whole thing just sort of snowballed.

Some guy who hoped to get her into bed was forced to first read the journal, and told her it was wonderful. So she sent a writing sample and a photo to some editor, who also hoped to get her into bed, and agreed to give her a column.

Now, here is Marie, still no doubt a virgin, sharing her ‘wisdom’ with the world.

I can explain the phenomenon that is Marie Jon’ in no other way. Because, if she were a good Christian married woman looking after her children the way Gawd intended, she would STFU already.

Yeah, a big scary liz- oh wait, I don’t have to imagine. Disney/Muppetlabs done did it for me. “Franny, I’m HOOOOOME!” “Once a tree-pusher, always a tree-pusher.” See, this is why *I’m* saved – I watched the “Dinosaurs!” documentary. With MJ, of course.

http://www.wyattmuseum.com/

Ron Wyatt already found Noah’s Ark, Sodom & Gomorrah, the place that the Jews crossed the Red Sea, Ark of the Covenant, and learned how the egyptians built the pyramids. Actually, you should probably look at this just for a laugh. He took pictures of the Ark of the Covenant but they are fuzzy. Why you ask? Because God doesn’t think it is time for humankind to see the Ark. Wow.

you can hear these wackjobs on the radio here in DC every day. Yep, it’s scary that there are people driving around and holding jobs and voting that take this seriously…

Hello you guys,

It has always amazed me the viciousness at which you go after people. Take a Bible lesson and be still. “You are found in the balance wanting.” That is not a good place to be . God died so that you would have life abundantly. I bring good news, you do nothing but gripe and complain amongst yourselves.

I hardly see a great deal of intelligence and wisdom by those on your web blog who identify themselves as Jews, Muslims and other people of faith.
Real godly people of faith do not put down others and gossip. They are uplifting and wholesome. That certainly is not the taste of vocabulary one reads on Sadly No. That says much about the class of individuals who participate in a community
of naysaying, anti- American nonsense people. Take the “good news” about God and be joyful.

Marie Jon’

By the way, your blog gets very little traffic. I know because people within the community of information looked at your low statistics. Still your behavior over the Internet is “totally Sad.” You picked the correct name for such a blog.

Noah’s ark has been found again and again and again.

Let’s just grant for one moment that this B.A.S.E. team actually went up that mountain and actually found a man-made structure high on a mountain made out of wood.

Their perspective was that they couldn’t think of any other thing which would be built at 13,000 feet.

If it were me, and I were high up on a mountain, and found what appeared to be an ancient structure made out of wood, I’d think it was a house or castle or fortress or observatory or imperial decor. Something like that.

I don’t think I would say, well, it’s wood, and it’s high on a mountain, so it *obviously* can be nothing other than a giant magic boat written about in a religious book by a tribe of people far away.

Shorter Marie Jon’:
If this group of amazingly unobjective “scientists” say that this wood-like structure is Noah’s Ark, that offers irrefutable proof that God will smite your homo asses.

And if that last comment is actually from her and not just snark — wow. We truly have been touched by an angel.

Sorry,

Hello good grief, 🙂

I am about my Father’s business. You lose nothing in believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. His gift is free to all, His burden is light. Even those who do not think they deserve that free gift of salvation, you do.

Have a wonderful Sabbath Day– Lord’s Day. Go pick out one on my website. Start today to become enlightened , not a tight tush smart mouth.

There are tons of over the Internet Bible studies that are the best and are all free. Two of such have a Bible teacher assigned to you as you take a simple course. They write to you and return your questions answered.

Here is the website and all that you will need. http://www.DrawingClose.org/ Sir, you do not intimidate me with your words.

I’m a professional nurse and I also teach God’s word to all people. Muslims, non -believers, gays and everyone in between. There is room for you in God’s kingdom. Let’s get you going in the RIGHT direction. I don’t give a fig what you are politically.

Thanks,
Marie Jon’

###
Hey sister, tongaroo@gmail.com

You need to wake up and smell the coffee…your “god” does not exist,
and if he did he’d smite a pea-brained idiot such as you.

So…what color is the sky in your little world Marie?

New Evidence Suggests Noah’s Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs

CREATION SCIENCE BREAKING NEWS
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0605/flyingdinos.html

For years, Creation Scientists have disputed how Noah was able to quickly collect millions of indigenous animals from remote, inaccessible regions of the world for a 40-day ride in his ark. New evidence from an archeological find in China supports the long held Christian belief that Noah’s sons rode giant flying dinosaurs to transport duck billed platypuses from Australia, and penguins and polar bears from the Antarctic, to name a few. “Those must have been some mighty big flying dinosaurs,” says Pastor Deacon Fred. “Imagine the look on Noah’s face when his sons flew in for a landing with a pair of Hippos strapped to the back of one of them things! Glory to God!”

“The Lord is just amazing,” says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards. “Whenever Atheist scientists make a new find, they think it will hack away at our Christian beliefs. They must get pretty peeved at how sneaky our Lord is, because whenever they unearth something, it only provides more support for the historical accuracy of the Holy Bible And these flying dinosaurs they keep finding are no exception!”

Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been impossible for Noah’s sons to travel to the four corners of the earth to areas that were previously inaccessible on foot. “Noah and his sons had to collect two of every single creature on the face of the planet,” he says. “We’re talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed it to what Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory. That’s where God snaps his fingers and just makes it so.” Edwards points out that Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact that Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark “in the selfsame day” (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory. In the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate that Noah’s sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn, load them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around the world to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North Pole…

The Ark of The Covenant might possibly be found.

I don’t think so. It’s still being looked at by top men.

Top. Men.

Dear Marie,

I very much enjoyed your article on the possible discovery of Noah’s Ark this morning. As one of Dr. Cornuke’s team on the trip to Iran a few weeks ago, as well as a constitutional attorney discussing representation with the school sued by the ACLU this week for displaying the portrait of Christ, I have a special interest in the subject of your article.

I first want to thank you for your thoughtful insights as to the timing of this possible discovery. We, too, have considered it in precisely this context, namely the prospect of giving the unregenerate some physical evidence of the truth of Scripture before Judgment Day. To my knowledge, you are the first writer to pick up on that theme.

My other reason for writing is to respond to your speculation that the Ark of the Covenant may soon be discovered. As a matter of fact, I encourage you to contact Dr. Cornuke about that, too — he believes he has already found it (in Ethiopia). I have copied Bob on this e-mail for that reason.

Bob actually leads tour groups to Ethiopia every year, and allows them to join in the extraordinary annual celebration in which the town of Axum turns out en masse, carrying miniature replicas of the Ark and bowing before it and worshipping God. Although I have not yet experienced it first hand, it is a remarkable phenomenon, and has been recorded by the History Discovery Channel.

At any rate, thank you for your article and your efforts to advance the Kingdom. May the Lord of Truth guide you and draw you near to Him.

Blessings,

Chief Counsel
AFA Center for Law & Policy

“You are found in the balance wanting.�

You are not the judge to make that determination, but I’ve got one for you, too: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

The ACLU ilk? That’s pretty strong language. Lowering the tone of the discourse, mutter mutter mutter, dehumanising rhetoric, mumble mumble, demonising mutter mutter.

It amazes me that she can go on to complain that “It has always amazed me the viciousness at which you go after people”, having already stooped to the depths of invective by using words like —

— Oops, I thought she said ‘elk’.

“Marie’s column is the spleevingest schpledunklest thing I’ve ever read.� “Marie’s gwartoltonic column makes me want to transpistonograph myself.� “EEEEEEEEE, RAORAGH LARFANI GHONOUSH LEFANDLE Marie Jon’ TWARWILLIGEROSO!!!�

Sounds to me like Brad R. is channelling the spirit of Dr. Suess.

“…in the mountains northwest of Tehran…”

If the Iranians had a sense of humor, they could have some serious fun with this — just haul an old boat up there, partially cover it up, and bury a copy of the Quran in the remains.

But, sadly, their religious nuts are as humorless as ours.

Real godly people of faith do not put down others and gossip. They are uplifting and wholesome. That certainly is not the taste of vocabulary one reads on Sadly No. That says much about the class of individuals who participate in a community of naysaying, anti- American nonsense people. Take the “good news� about God and be joyful.

It’s true, Marie Jon’. Sadly, No! readers suck and are not worthy to sniff your sweater. They’re nothing but a bunch of neanderthals. Neanderthals, I tell you!

Marie came back! *sniff* Thanks, Marie, this is just what I wanted for my birthday!

Why do you guys bother writing about this person? Does she have a large readership or something?

Why do you guys bother writing about this person? Does she have a large readership or something?

Because she’s hot, and completely insane. Does that answer your question?

I am about my Father’s business.

Sheesh! Marie – Jesus was a boy! And choose your words with care – the rest of the flock might think you’re a false prophet or something.

Because she’s hot, and completely insane.

I just took a look at your blog and I understand why you’d be attracted to her. Do you find insanity attractive as well?

Apparently – are you also attacted to Ann Coulter?

Ann’s not really into white guys…

How about Laura Ingraham then? Careful there – I hear she’s no walk in the park.

Having read Yoshida’s screed right before Marie’s babblings, I have to give Marie props for at least having the germ of a decent human being inside. If she had not been brainwashed with the silliness of Biblical literalism, she might have turned out pretty well. Yoshida? Not so much.

Having read Yoshida’s screed right before Marie’s babblings, I have to give Marie props for at least having the germ of a decent human being inside. If she had not been brainwashed with the silliness of Biblical literalism, she might have turned out pretty well. Yoshida? Not so much.

Careful what you say about Yoshida or he’ll use his +6 Sword of Smiting to deplete your hit points.

You had Marie Jon’ posting here, and you didn’t ask the critical questions:

1) What the hell is the apostrophe for? Really.
2) Why the Dusty Springfield reference? Was it inadvertent? Or were you flashing gang signs to fans of sixties album-oriented adult contemporary?

As for the Ark: Well, yeah, the legend is that it got smuggled off to Ethiopia, where it’s kept in a mud brick temple accessible to only one Coptic priest per generation. And, he ain’t talking or letting anybody see it. So much for objective standards of proof.

There are no cave paintings of dinosaurs. There are cave paintings of mammoths, but human predation was probably a key to the extinction of that species.

The Grand Canyon and Zion and other canyons of the American southwest are newer than the rivers through which they course–they cross mountain ranges. They cut through the mountains as the mountains rose around them. This has been understood since the last half of the 19th century.

Wow. Sorry about the mangled English.

“Canyons are newer than the rivers that course through them and the mountain ranges they penetrate.”

Jesus fucking Christ!

As for the Ark: Well, yeah, the legend is that it got smuggled off to Ethiopia, where it’s kept in a mud brick temple accessible to only one Coptic priest per generation. And, he ain’t talking or letting anybody see it. So much for objective standards of proof.

Sadly, No! The Ark is in a warehouse in Washington D.C., where it was taken in the early 1940s after it melted a bunch of Nazis’ faces off. This was depicted in a 1981 documentary, “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

Wait, which Ark are we talking about again?

Wow! All this and a Stryper pic?

I need to stop by Sadly, No! more often!

God died so that you would have life abundantly.

Wait a minute… so Marie Jon’ says that God is dead? I can’t believe I’m somehow finding myself in simultaneous agreement with Nietzche and Marie Jon’. Actually, I’m just feeling icky that I’m apparently in agreement with MJ’.

With the whole Ark of the Covenant thing, having been raised Jewish I’m perpetually amused by how these fundamentalist Christian nutjobs talk about it, like there’s something special inside. It’s symbolic, morons. It’s supposed to be a dwelling place for God, but God is everywhere (there’s a strong current of pantheism in Jewish theology), so it’s a symbol that is supposed to be empty so that it holds nothing but God. Besides, I don’t get why Christians care about the Ark of the Covenant at all — the covenant was with the Hebrew people, not the goyim, and according to Paul the old covenant was superceded by the new one. It’s a little scary that someone can take a belief system so seriously and so extremely without even bothering to understand or think about it.

Oh, and Gentlewoman, I think the Marie Jon’ is short for her full name, “Marie Jon’ (that’s how she spells it).”

quibit — I think that qualifies as a big-time smackdown of Marie Jon’.

Sadly, No!: Where one can find references to both Nietzche and fetish hentai pr0n on the same day.

And Dusty Springfield’s “The Windmills of Your Mind” Kobie! It’s the trifecta!

And, I meant Ark of the Covenant, above. That ark. You know, if God was choosing peoples, you think that he’d choose one with fewer homonyms.

you think that he’d choose one with fewer homonyms

Homonyms? I’ve never touched another man!

Oh, homonyms.

Woody’s working his chops again–Friedrich Nietzsche’s Diet Book.

“No philosopher came close to solving the problem of guilt and weight until Descartes divided mind and body in two, so that the body could gorge itself while the mind thought, Who cares, it’s not me.”

“‘I can’t imagine what it could be if it is not the Ark,’ said Arch Bonnema of the Bible Archaeology Search and Exploration (B.A.S.E) Institute, a Christian archeology organization dedicated to looking for biblical artifacts.”

There’s an subjective statement if I ever heard one.

I like the Creation Tips page she linked. Apparently that’s the kind of critical thinking the site designers want to instill in children.

I suppose if you brought up the similarities between the old testament flood story and stories from other cultures in the region, and the archaeological evidence that the Mediteranian basin was dry and inhabitted at some point her head might explode. The unflinching denial that the flood story is a myth based on a limited-scale natural distaster would be too much for what passes as her central cortex.

USA Today Satellite sleuth closes in on Noah’s Ark mystery

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/space/2006-03-09-noahs-ark_x.htm

Here is your USA Today article on the Ark.
Love In Christ,
Marie Jon’

[…] Real Christians aren’t in a “war” with anybody. Charity and compassion for sinners is the true sign of a man or woman of faith, not some earthly victory. An almighty god probably needs no earthly help from vituperative fools. Turn the other cheek ring a bell, Marie? If not, Sadly No has one to smack on your kisser: “What we’re really in the midst of is a war between idiots and everybody else.” […]

MJ’, I’ve got a theological question for you, regarding the Ark and Noah’s Plight.

Do you think keeping the T. Rexes from eating the Brontosauri was a bigger problem for Noah than keeping the Brontosauri from stepping on all the other animals, or maybe the trickiest part was keeping the ship afloat with all those dinosaurs on board?

If you’d take the trouble to read Creation Tips, you’d learn that the dinosaurs were shrunk down to a small size, small enough to maybe stow away in a clay pot or something similar. So you see, problem solved.

I can only assume that they were perhaps absentmindedly left abourd the ark when it finally rested on Mt Ararat.

Marie Jon’ (why the apostrophe? does anyone know? is it just a typo?)

The Martian Manhunter was her dad.

a

Well, thanks, Kobie, but I think the real smackdown is Bradrocket’s post. I’m just trying to make sure she stays down. (Which doesn’t seem to be working. Oh well, it’s free entertainment.)

Brian,
Of course, God somehow managed to do worse than English in terms of homonyms for His chosen people; Hebrew is written without any vowels, so a ridiculous number of words look alike but mean something completely different (and don’t even sound similar). I figure MJ’ is talking about all this OT stuff, so she must be referring to the Hebrew God, after all.

EdsAppliance, I’m partial to the string theory diet myself. After all, isn’t it great when you can lost those extra 20 pounds in under a femtosecond?

And Seb or Brad or someone, can you please, please make some form of Kobie’s comment one of your taglines at the top of the page? It’s just too perfect.

“If the Iranians had a sense of humor, they could have some serious fun with this — just haul an old boat up there, partially cover it up, and bury a copy of the Quran in the remains.”

How about thowing up a counterfeit arc in the trail of a receding glacier–Kilamanjaro comes to mind.

We discussed the question of Marie Jo’s curious faith a couple of years ago – I remember saying that somewhere in the archives was a paste-in of an item where she says her parents were Catholic, but no one else could find it, and in the end the consensus was that I had hallucinated it.

Her email address displays worrying signs of numerological superstition:
MarieItsYou23@aol.com

sorry typo – ” JON’ ”

she’s not hot, she’s just cute, there’s a difference.

“I thnk you guys will be alright. I used to think “God, thoose yanks are so dumbâ€? when I read stuff like this, but now the depth of stupidity of the minority just proves how intellegnt the rest of you must be. Otherwise I’m pretty sure ye would have starved to death by now. ”

Wow, that is the nicest thing I’ve ever heard said to an American. Thanks.

– Kobie said,Sadly, No! The Ark is in a warehouse in Washington D.C., where it was taken in the early 1940s after it melted a bunch of Nazis’ faces off. This was depicted in a 1981 documentary, “Raiders of the Lost Ark.â€?
– July 2, 2006 at 3:39

The “Raiders of the Lost Ark” had a very, very important theological lesson which all of us would do well to learn from.

The movie takes place during WWII, and does indeed involve Nazis and the Ark of the Covenant. It should be recalled that the “Covenant” in “Ark of the Covenant” has to do with God’s promise to His people, the Jewish peoples.

According to the movie, there is no mention that God has intervened at all to stop Nazis from exterminating 6 million of His Chosen people.

However, when the Nazis attempt to manipulate the Ark of the Covenant, it comes alive with God’s power and destroys them.

Lesson?

It’s okay to kill as many of God’s chosen people as you like, or at least, you’ll be allowed to carry out your genocide.

But don’t mess with any of God’s Stuff. He’ll kill you with magic. He’s very particular about His Stuff.

The community of information?.

Is this community that has A New York Law Firm on retainer? If so I’ll refrain from any more wisecracks.

It’s okay to kill as many of God’s chosen people as you like, or at least, you’ll be allowed to carry out your genocide.

But don’t mess with any of God’s Stuff. He’ll kill you with magic. He’s very particular about His Stuff.

So… God is just Psycho (Francis) from Stripes?

Reality is just a place for God’s stuff.

“God’s rainbow of promises brings the true story of Noah to a happy ending.”

That sounds kinda gay.

Wow. Just wow. I missed her visit. Sob.

So many mangled sentances, so little time.

I do like the theory that Noah rode on flying dinosaurs.

I am privy to a body of work, passed down to my from childhood, taught to me at my father’s knee, of human and dinosaur interaction. Humans domesticated dinosaurs to toil for them, as we did cattle and horses in earlier times. There are drawings that indicate humans used dinosaurs to delve the earth in primitive quarries. Pterodactyls were trained to emit their strange cries to mark the hours of the day. Humans rode on the backs of giant brontosaurs as an early mode of mass transport. Indeed, some smaller dinosaurs were even kept as much-loved household pets.

You can read about this cherished body of knowledge here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Flintstones

Reading Marie Jon’s comment here I have to wonder – is English a second language for her?

It’s “koala” not “koal bear” you godless heathan. There is a special place in the pit for you and yours.

Can you feel the burn?

It’s “koala” not “koala bear” you godless heathan. There is a special place in the pit for you and yours.

Can you feel the burn?

I don’t think I should have shaved my balls yesterday.

Of course she gets to be an authoritarian bitch while gaining social approval for doing so. I just met a nurse that I could go for.

Pinhead.

WHA???? She’s a “professional nurse” (what, as opposed to an amatuer one?) Well, this IS a revelation.

Hey, aren’t those wacky gals over at ‘And Rightly So!” nurses too? WTF?!!!

Please remind me to NEVER check into one of their hospitals, ‘kay?

The column was a classic — it had ACLU ilk, besides themselves, and thick as thieves. With bonus points for that bit about windmill of their minds of disbelief. What prevented it from being a perfect car-crash of mangled semantics was the absence of any reference to liberal cohorts. I look forward to seeing cohorts in the next column.

That is all.

Oh, well. At least she doesn’t seemingly think that women who don’t fresh-squeeze their hubby’s morning OJ are whores, unlike *some*people I could mention.

Damn. I did it again. I gotta stop using italics.

Oh, yeah–100, bitchez!

Hello Everyone,
I’d just like to comment on this sick, deranged, bible pushing (she has no clue) physco; if no one minds, that is!
First, one of the reasons we have so many sick bitches in this world is because Noah didn’t check to make sure he hadn’t any stowaways i.e. MJ. Second, does anyone know how many marriages this lunatic has managed to break-up, with her lucivious acts carried out over the net and phone. Third, lets get back to the marriage thing, i know the answer; MINE lol. Fourth,by the way, Happy 4th of July all. Its nice to know we have Great Americans who care enough about our country to read this; GO GREAT USA.! And last but not least i’d like to comment to G, trust me she knows english, and she knows how to use it speaking in the right context (if u know what i mean).

Actually, an even bigger nautical problem for Noah than the tons of dino doodies he had to singlehandedly shovel overboard every day, or the danger of a brontosaur inadvertently shifting its weight and sinking the whole fragrant mess, was the poor design of the ark itself.
In all the pictures I’ve ever seen, it had no sails, rudder, or steering oars, and thus was at the mercy of wind and wave; at the first strong breeze, it would have broached to (turned sideways to the direction of the waves), foundered and capsized. You can’t tell a man to build a huge wallowing tub of a vessel, cram every goddamn critter that creeps, crawls, hops and flies into it from keel to gunwales, and then expect him to bob about for weeks on end with no means of steering.
Apparently God was no nautical engineer.

She says: “Noah, as instructed by The Lord, took two of each living species onto the Ark prior to the flood. The animals boarded willingly. Many were in ‘their infant stages of growth.'”

I guess she never actually read the biblical account:

“Then the Lord said to Noah, “Come into the ark, you and all your household, because I have seen that you are righteous before Me in this generation. You shall take with you seven each of every clean animal, a male and his female; two each of animals that are unclean, a male and his female; also seven each of birds of the air, male and female, to keep the species alive on the face of all the earth. For after seven more days I will cause it to rain on the earth forty days and forty nights, and I will destroy from the face of the earth all living things that I have made.” And Noah did according to all that the Lord commanded him.” Genesis 7:1-5, emphasis mine

Now my only question is, were dinosaurs clean or unclean?

Cleanup on aisle 5…

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[…] Jon’: bombshell Christianist, circulator of dolchstosslegende, and my co-star and former lover* = Anya Amasova, Agent Triple X […]

Good site. Thank you:-)

Good site. Thanks.

Cool site. Thank you!!!

Good site. Thank you!!!

Cool site. Thank you.

Good site. Thank you!

Now this is one lousy, time wasting article. Please find another profession as this is clearly not your calling in life, not even close.

Marie looks like she might have a real nice ass. Anybody have any pictures?

No?

How about Nancy Pfotenhauer?

I love scoffers!