Oh Yeah, Media Matters? Well, Have Some of This

All right, Media Matters, I admit it. A clip and transcript of a wingnut who cites War Nerd, volunteers to give up everyone’s civil liberties, and accuses the press of stabbing us in the back, is pretty fucking impressive. It’s almost as good as your clip and transcript the other day of Bill O’Reilly’s most hilariously explosive batshittery since he shattered poor C-SPAN’s fragile mics with a bellowing “Shuuuuuuuut upp!” directed at a stunned Al Franken. So yeah, Media Matters: big props.

But don’t let it go to your head. What you accomplish in your fancy New York[1] DC offices (no doubt while snacking on the foie gras with which George Soros keeps the vending machines stuffed), with your billion-dollar bankroll, and media-insider connections — Hah! All that, and you can barely keep up with what we at S,N! regularly accomplish with a little snark and around-the-clock manning of the finest set of string and cans!!!

So sure, you have Glenn Beck. Well, we have Adam Yoshida. You have “Libertarian” Neal Boortz. Ahh, but we have self-described “classical liberal” Jeff Goldstein. (And does Boortz threaten to slap people with his cock? Disadvantage: Media Matters!) You have Laura Ingraham? We have Marie Jon’, who’s ten times hotter and at least three times as goofy.*

What’s that you say? Oh. You… have…. Ann Coulter? Oh, that’s quite impressive. Oh, we might have to concede defeat. Oh, yes Ann Coulter: the most extreme wingnut bimbot for sure….



..To the Media, I have one thing to say… Do anything that supports the enemy during an actual war.. and you are a murderer. You have on your hands the death of every soldier. And I really and firmly believe this; I don’t think this nonsense about dissent being patriotic is fooling anybody. The idea that America should withdrawl from Iraq is worse than appeasement. It’s a shameful pretense. Clearly we’re superior physically, so what are we saying? Are we saying that we’re morally corrupt? Iraq was an enemy! Whether we like it or not, they were an enemy… 15 years of sanctions and fly-overs and supporting suicide bombers and paying of Pali terrorists and Abu Nidal and Osama and Saddam and training to hijack airplanes at Salman Pak…I mean stop it already…. What broke in the Media? — and it’s important, it’s a very important discussion we’re having because even the dissident.. the the the dissident.. the highest visible dissident in Iran, Ganji, who I support — I support anybody who is gonna help unseat that Islamic regime, even though I dont agree with him: he’s a big believer in Kant. And I can’t [??] and I dont have a vlog long enough to tell you why Kant is a complete nutter. Epistem– failure. But he said, “whoever controls the media wins the war.” And that’s a fact.

When and where we lost the media is beside the point; I can just tell you they’re the enemy and they’re as dangerous as — there’s all kinds; the enemy has many tentacles. Um, for example, you ever watch network news? You have to. And look what happened to Fox. Now, if it’s not breaking news, Fox — and you can’t watch anybody else, you can’t watch CNN or the Alphabits because, let’s be honest, they’re jihadi organs, they’re total tools, total — so Fox, six percent of Fox was bought by the Saudis and ever since then, between breaking news, it’s car chases and missing blondes… you never hear the words, “Islamic jihad,” you never hear the word “Muslim,” never.

I mean, I understand that Ruppert Murdoch called Ailes when those French riots were going on and told him to stop using the word “Muslim” — and they did. Look, they’re buying pieces of America’s soul. Shreds and Shreds until one day you’re gonna wake up and it’s Eurabia — excuse me, Amerabia.

They bought into Georgetown, they bought into Harvard: they’re buying up institutions left and right. And you – you don’t see this, but it’s up to you to tell your friends, lovers, husbands, wives [etc] that they have got to start tuning into the ‘net for news…

We don’t have a party on the Left — let’s get serious, you have a vocal bunch of clowns. They’ve changed their talking points: it’s not “culture of corruption” anymore [unintelligible].. it was about the Democrats: [mocking voice] “Hey baby, I’m hungry. Get in – get into the icebox and get me some ninety-thousand dollars would ya baby?” I mean, what was that about? Umm, no. They are the party of “no.”

Let’s drill in ANWAR. -“No!” Let’s, uh, nuclear energy – “No!” Offshore drilling – “No!” More – “No!” Save our lives – “No!” Everything’s “no!”

Except Homeland Security. Which I don’t even believe in that Department. That was a knee-jerk reaction, because Clinton — so [if] Clinton recommended it, you know you — you can’t find your ass with both hands. Umm, Clinton – Clinton recommended it. Homeland Security is pork. Everybody wants the pork. [Mocking voice] New York is crying “ooh you cut us from 20 million -” [vlog ends]

Still there, Media Matters? Then let’s recapitulate. Ms. Atlas is accusing the media of murder, of stabbing the soldiers in the back. She lies about Iraq and Saddam’s ties to Bin Laden. Then she gets more blunt about the media — it is the enemy, a jihadi organ, and even Ruppert Murdoch can’t be trusted anymore! Not even Ann Coulter is as paranoid. The Arabs are buying up America!

Now let me elaborate on a few things. Her remarks on Homeland Security come from a desire not to guard against terror here, but to kill as many Muslims/Arabs as possible there. For a paranoid, she doesn’t care much about security; it’s war that rocks her world.

When she mocked the Cash-in-the-Refrigerator scandal — well, I won’t explain it. Just watch and listen. I was waiting on her to say something about “fried chicken” or “collard greens,” but she just stopped herself. Still, it’s obvious what she meant.

Her incoherent digression on Kant — what the fuck was all that about? I think I can explain. Ms Atlas is, of course, a Randroid. And Chief Mechanic of the Randroid fleet, since the death of Ayn Rand, is Leonard Peikoff, who has long programmed his transistored and dioded followers to believe that the root blame for the Holocaust rests squarely on Immanuel Kant. Yeah, he’s crazy.

So how do you like that shit, Media Matters?! Experts in the art of wingnut presentation, my ass! You are but dabblers. Dilettantes!

*One reason we are consistently able to out-wingnut Media Matters is because we have an utter disregard for ethical journalism. However, in the interest of parity, this reporter has decided to come clean and admit to a brief if torrid affair with said wingnut. S,N! regrets not disclosing this potential conflict of interest sooner.

1 – Atrios discloses the true location of Media Matters‘ offices. Oh Media Matters, you clever wingnut hunters! Moving closer to the prey’s habitat – yet another unfair advantage!


Comments: 46


Media Matters’ offices are in DC, not NY.


Except Homeland Security. Which I don’t even believe in that Department. That was a knee-jerk reaction, because Clinton — so [if] Clinton recommended it, you know you — you can’t find your ass with both hands. Umm, Clinton – Clinton recommended it. Homeland Security is pork. Everybody wants the pork. [Mocking voice] New York is crying “ooh you cut us from 20 million -â€? [vlog ends]

But I thought the Dept. of Homeland Security was the ONLY THING KEEPING US SAFE and that’s why we have to surrender all our freedoms to it, PRAISE BUSH! Or something.

Hell, I can’t keep the delusions straight anymore.


Dr. Black, the long tentacles of George Soros and the Vast MSM Conspiracy know the bounds of no single metropolis.

LA Confidential Pantload

Sounds like Atlas is ready for a big ol’ Klonopin-‘n-paste smoothie.


I can see a horrid misinterpetation of Nietzche (especially considering he didn’t put together the Will to Power) but Kant, how does that even approach sanity? ( The niezcthean slip is obvioulsy the whole :”Aryans are the uber-mensch spiel” which is inherently flawed in its self-identification of the Uber-mensch– hell even if you want to go with the Naxi’s whole “we had the power thus we were the Ubermensch” spiel their eventual loss kinda undermines it). I’m not even touching her actual arguments (which with there Jihadist everywhere crap, come so fucking close to the pre-Kristalnacht paranoia of the Nazi’s) I mean whydoesn’t she just name her next post “The Eternal Muslim” and be done with it.


Speaking of lunatics seen this?


“As Hitchens retreated, someone remarked to him, “So your glorious war has turned out to be a total disaster, hasn’t it?”

“It is glorious,” the sodden scrivener blared, “and it is my war because it needed Paul Wolfowitz and myself to go and convince the President to go to war.”

As mourners digested this megalomanic outburst, Hitchens continued, “And we are going to kill every Al Qaida terrist and Baathist in the country and that’s a good thing. They need to be killed and we will kill them.”


Are these people real?


“…the enemy has many tentacle.”

Good god, almighty… this needs to be on a t-shirt!


No, they’re the cast of a reality TV show that wasn’t supposed to go more than one season, until Osama’s homies did this totally wicked mad-lib and the ratings went through the Twin Towers.

Bush was kinda pissed since the homies stepped all over what was supposed to be *his* Big Moment – dressing up like a King Kommando and putting the boot to an inflatable Saddam Hussein – but Cheney, in a brilliant bit of improv scene stealing, rescued the Boy King’s status as star of the show when he came up with Operation Iraqi Subplot.

As we all know, that was the Subplot That Ate the Series. Not since Martin Sheen stole West Wing totally away from Rob Lowe has there been a program piracy quite like it. The ratings rose like a mushroom cloud over the production office, and newbie baby fascists came out from under the kitchen cabinets and up from the sewage pipes almost faster than open casting could keep up with them.

You gotta love it, all these kids whose finest moment until now had been making fun of cerebral palsy cases in schoolyards were suddenly STARS: manning the blogicades, playing D&D for realsie in the halls of power, setting legislative agendas, and collecting MSM fanboys and fangirls faster than you can say “objectively pro-terrorist surrender monkey!”

The show’s ratings have suffered of late as our TV Nation gets bored with the same old-same old. But the kids aren’t worried. They know they’ll always have a place to shine in “Bush’s America: Facsism for Dummies,” and they’ll never have to go back to recreational paste eating or remedial toilet training again!


I got your enemy tentacle right here!


I applaud Atlas antics. Parody unhinged. She’s so good she’s convinced herself she makes sense. Good hair does wonders.


Atlas is kinda like that viral video of the dog growling at it’s own leg, when he’s trying munch on a bone.


Every time I watch that woman on video I fully expect an ending ala “Scanners”. Batshit insane doesn’t even approach what’s wrong with her…


I know I have no chance with Brad or Gavin, but could I, a humble Sadly, No! viewer bear your children, Mr. Moonbat? Because YOU ROCK!

I love you and your breathless technique that keeps me refreshing Sadly, No!

I am no Marie Jon’, and even though I don’t have the allure of an apostrophe in my name nor any wingnutty credentionals, I can spot an Amber Powlik “Kill Your Man Reciepe” from two miles away!

Did you ever think that blogofascism would bring you your very own stalker? Take that, Townhallhouse!


From the start of the vlog:

“So, let’s get to it. New Testament. Not my book.”

That to me is Atlas Shrugs in a nutshell. She’s all Leviticus all the time.


Atrios probably cashed a 20G check for that classic line. And just had the world’s largest Caterpillar Roll. Sigh. I wish I were Atrioni.


Sorry to distract from the hilarious Pamela-bashing, but I love this bit from the inferior wingnut hunters’ transcript of O’Reilly. In the process of saying (OK, shouting) that it’s “bullshit” that he has been a cheerleader for the Bush administration, he says this: “I’ve said when we’ve made mistakes — we, the United States government.” No cheerleading at all there, Bill.


Sporkey, they’ve been refusing me for over a year now. It was tragic, but I’ve since moved on and am now the official blog stalker over at Doghouse Riley’s place.
Take that, Sadly, No!

As to Miss Atlas, America’s soul resides in its inclination to xenophobia? I always kind of suspected that was the case, but I really, really hoped otherwise.


Pamela thinks the MSM murderers, so she relies on modern day Nazi Party, the BNP for news.


Hmm . . . the Kant thing. I was a philosophy major, but, shamefully, barely remember poor Immanuel. Doesn’t he use, as part of his “no lie can be justified” argument, the example of a policeman (or some such) coming to one’s door while one is hiding someone unjustly persecuted by said policeman? If my (gin addled) memory serves, Kant argues that even in this extreme instance, it is still not ok to lie (one can make all sorts of other less-than-helpful replies, however). Could this be the source of Randroid fury?

Yes, I know I could go seefor myself what Peikoff’s argument is, but my life will be longer and happier if I avoid directly looking at that shit. You, Sadly, No!, are my toilet-paper-tube-with-a-pinhole-thingy through which I might gaze upon the total eclipse of wingnutteria.


Immanuel Kant peed in her Wheaties.


No, no, she hates Kant because of his arguments about synthetic epistles- epistime– he sucks, ok? And he’s a traitor to the American way of life.

Chris Moorehead

I started reading Kant solely because the Randoids can’t stand him. I figured that, with this ringing endorsement, his work had to be of some value.

Uh oh… I almost wandered into Kaye Grogan comma territory in that last sentence.


I was impressed by the fine ear for dialogue demonstrated by the William Jefferson scene. And I’ve had bet the farm that she didn’t realize most black folk still had iceboxes. Tour de force, baby.


As a first time viewer, I’m thinking a little less coffee and a little more rehearsal next time, Ms. Shrugs. Honestly, I’m out of breath trying to keep up with the insanity.
Just “no”, ok?
*heavy sigh*


Oh yeah — and of course Randroids would really fucking hate the Categorical Imperative.

Spalpeen Hammer

Pamela Grant Swank? Media Murderers Global?


If Ayn Rand’s actually gotten people to read Kant, she has done at least one good thing. Oh, and Chris, you aren’t anywhere near Kaye Grogan territory with your comma use because your comma use was appropriate.


I think she’s a…what’s the medical term I’m looking for? Oh, yeah batshit loon.


Is “Ruppert” Murdoch a cousin of Gary Ruppert?


Thers said,
June 28, 2006 at 15:42

Immanuel Kant peed in her Wheaties.

Ahem – that’s because….

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable…

Oh, and I see that you didn’t even bring the big guns out. Kaye Grogan got a brief mention in one of the comments, and Pastor Swank hasn’t even been thought about until just now. Now there’s some batshit insane Reich wingnut for you.

My only wish was that Page would have asked him if he got his news from the Paris buisiness Review. Or if Page could have asked him when he’s going to talk to David Brock at Media Matters – you know, about all the unfounded allegations that Bill tosses out about them on his show. Especially if he could have done that right after Bill referred to others as cowards because they wouldn’t come on his show.


Pyjamas Media must be so proud of Pamela!


[…] Courtesy of Sonic in comments, Alexander Cockburn’s latest Hitchens gossip: The recent memorial for long-term New York Review co-editor Barbara Epstein, sadly felled by cancer on June 15, was disfigured by an unseemly outbursts from Christopher Hitchens. There was a list of invitees for the private ceremony and C. Hitchens — a sometime NYT contributor ­ was not on the list. He implored to be admitted, and some misguidedly decent soul gave him the green light. […]


“The enemy has many tentacle.”

Methinks she has seen the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and lo!, she is afraid.

And she looks like Joel Grey in a fright wig.


Wow. Just…wow. Has anyone ever tried to get this poor woman some help? This was just amazing to me. Is it possible that anyone could look at this video of herself, and imagine that she had done a good job??? That she wanted anyone else to watch this? Where’s Bill Frist when you really need him?

Chris Moorehead

I know that neither E.B. White nor Lynne Truss would object to this particular use of commas, but Kaye has spooked me so much that I now question any and all punctuation marks.

I wonder what these esteemed grammarians would say about Marie Jon”s apostrophe?


Wow. I didn’t expect Miss Pamela to sound so much like Rhoda Morgenstern. I kept expecting Mary Tyler Moore to knock over the camera or something.

I know I’m being really superficial, and I just hate myself for it (::bites knuckle::), but let’s get to it. The nose job? Not good.


Hell, somebody had a pic up of Atlas Wept in a tank-top or some such sleevless blouse, and you could tell she’s had a sorry-ass boob job, too. Too high and too close to her arms. It looked like shite. Plus, she wears makeup like a 10 year old Mafia Princess who got into mama’s Avon bag. She does lots of tricks to make herself look younger than she is with cosmetics, and they just ain’t working. Using ligher, pinker foundation makes her look like somebody bitch-slapped Mother Teresa’s corpse (as it does with any woman trying to lacquer over the age lines).

And that’s just the start of what’s wrong with the package there…


If you go to the “click here for all Atlas vlogs” link on the top right, you can get to a page where you can play half a dozen of these at once, all on top of each other. It’s like being in hell, tormented by harpies.

I recommend the experience highly; I am stronger for having endured it.

Herr Doktor Bimler

That which fails to kill me, only gives me a filthy hangover the next day.


Not to put too fine a point on it, she’s NOT even a good Randroid at ALL.

Her Zionism (what’s beyond “rabid” – bitten by hydrophobic hellhounds ?) and general racial and religious fixations were exactly what Ayn Rand hated.

then again, once Ayn bounced nathaniel for no longer bouncing her, i think the bloom was off the rose – what did Colbert say, the last third is backwash? Leonard Pleikoff, you’re no Nathaniel Branden. But even Leonard, neocon Randite poseur that he is, is no Pammy. I almost wish Ayn hadn’t died. It’d be … pleasant to have them both on a talk show.


Yes, I know I’m late to the party, but this was just too good to pass up.

Oh dear. I do see a creature has lost its party hat. A tragedy follows.

“Boo-hoo! I have no hat!!!!It was stolen by the evil IslamoMediaEuroKantLeftyFrenchHarvardDemoClintonHumpButtFaggotFascists! Tehy must be killed to avenge my honor blargblarg!!! Porkmeat is a good fruit cocktail!!1 I sleep with one evry nite!

Oh, wait, the creature’s hat did just fall off. Hey creature your hat is fine! Ohno she is too dumb to hear me.


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