It’s those birds’ own faults for failing to evacuate. Why should my tax dollars go to rescue birds too lazy to rescue themselves? Let Sean Penn take care of it.

Let Sean Penn take care of it.

But he just quit his job with the Obama Islamofacsists!

The only thing Obama did wrong was to listen to Republicans about anything, ever.

The idea that the same Republicans who pressured him into consenting to more offshore drilling, are now the ones attempting to blame him for this spill, makes me all stabby.

Hey fuckhammers, if you’re so concerned about the environment all of a sudden, then why not get your lardy asses down here and help us clean up this mess? Oh that’s right–you don’t really give a shit. You’re just making political hay out of the ruination of my home.

Please die.

I’m so very, very confused on so many levels. Soooooooo…quick government intervention on problems involving private companies is wrong, except when Obama supposedly doesn’t do it?

I also suppose it would be fruitless* to point out that BP fucking lied for several days about the extent of the problem.

Oh, and when I said Powerline was probably the ugliest blog on the interwebs, I forgot about Colonel Mustard’s blog. It’s all like 1977 up in that bitch.

*VBR

I also suppose it would be fruitless*….
*VBR

I disconcur. That’s a veiled lack-of-breast reference.

That’s a veiled lack-of-breast reference.

It was actually supposed to be a dual-veiled reference (boobs and balls). Nevertheless, I should revise: *VLOBR

If ACORN hadn’t forced Barney Frank to sell gas to the minorities and illegals, this never would have happened.

Balls are not fruit. They’re “stones” or “cast iron” or (rarely) “potatoes.”

You’ll never get your Patriarchy Badge from the Girl Scouts at this rate.

It’s not false equivalence!

1). It’s a bad thing.
2). It’s happening in the Gulf of Mexico.
3). Obama is a big poopy doodoohead.

Thus, exactly the same as Katrina.

It’s not false equivalence!

It’s a dessert wax and a floor topping.

Balls are not fruit. They’re “stones” or “cast iron” or (rarely) “potatoes.”

What about “nuts”? Nuts are fruit, ergo, balls are fruit.

You’ll never get your Patriarchy Badge from the Girl Scouts at this rate.

I have about ten responses to this, but they are all very, very wrongful.

So no way do B.P. and Halliburton get blamed.

It’s just like the financial meltdown…all the fault of the liberals and the poors, people!
~

Ugh. Billyboy has a very unique opinion on Goldman Sachs:

“This is not about Goldman Sachs’ conduct or the law. This is about whipping up populist emotions in the run-up to the 2010 elections and crushing one of the few private-sector entities still willing to defy the administration.”

Is that a joke? I can understand his suspicions over the timing of the investigation, but “defy the administration”? It seems he’s suggesting that fraud is now a legitimate way of expressing freedom, or something like that. I guess this countries greatest patriots are illegal immigrants, with their heroic defiance of the government.

Forgive me, I’m very ti

There were a lot of reports of seabirds looting and threatening white residents.

And here I was trying to interpret fruitless=VBR, finally coming* up with “veiled barrenwomb reference.”

OK, maybe that should be VBWR.

*VOR

It’s those birds’ own faults for failing to evacuate. Why should my tax dollars go to rescue birds too lazy to rescue themselves? Let Sean Penn take care of it.

It’s clearly a failure of animal citizenship.

So no way do B.P. and Halliburton get blamed.

BP and Halliburton are uncontrollable natural forces created by marked temperature differences between the sea surface and the upper atmosphere.

This oil spill was the result of too much government interference and regulation, because SHUT UP.

Perhaps if the President could praise BP for doing nothing, or appoint someone to do “A heck of a job” not cleaning up, then the comparisons would be apt. But seriously, do Conservatives really believe that “President Bush’s Katrina’ means a bad thing happened on his term, and is not about his unique lack of response, of caring, of taking responsibility? Do they not notice he exploited the opportunity to change Louisiana’s and New Orleans’ demographics, rebuilding white areas and driving large numbers of blacks permanently out of the State? What exactly is the fucking analogy they’re going for?

And another Ivy League reputation bites the dust. Are there any ‘reputable’ universities left who managed to keep tenure away from the loons in the law school? We need to call in Poirot to investigate The Case of the Missing Intelligence, Morality and Empathy. I was going to say Missing Branes, but we have our own man on that case.

BTW, N__B, do you remember Carson’s Karnak? One of his best was the envelope to which the answer was, “Eisenhower, Nixon and Johnson.” The secret question inside the envelope was, “Name two presidents and a floor wax.”

OT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you like smart, juvenile, and slightly surreal comedy, (and I know you do, or you wouldn’t be here), then CHECK OUT THIS FUCKING PODCAST.

I am currently listening to a joke involving Thomas Kincaid and lesbians…I may or may not be obsessed.

Jesus. I just read his Blogger profile. Anyone who feels the need to put out that much information in a blogger profile needs serious help.

Barack H. Obama doesn’t care about pelicans!

Yeah, not a real comparison. these jokers will have a point if the oil is shut off in a week or two, but right now it appears that people are taking what action they need to.

If this was Bush, he’d still be allowing fishing and we’d all be dying of toxic shock in a few months.

Do they not notice he exploited the opportunity to change Louisiana’s and New Orleans’ demographics, rebuilding white areas and driving large numbers of blacks permanently out of the State?

Once the oil reaches the beaches and starts covering everything, including the people, the demographics may start shifting back to pre-Katrina.

but “defy the administration”? It seems he’s suggesting that fraud is now a legitimate way of expressing freedom,

And retroactive in time, too, since isn’t Goldman Sachs being charged for fraud they committed in the run up to the 2008 crash? Pretty prescient of them.

Balls are not fruit.

Kiwis.

If Obama had reacted quickly and let’s say prevented the oil spill from worsening that would have made not a whit of difference. Obama would have been criticized for over reacting and being a silly moonbat.

When political opposition doesn’t come from a principled stance on the issues but is just a childish poop flinging temper tantrum it’s a total waste of your energy to triangulate with people like that. Triangulation assumes that you opponent is honest and… you know, an adult.

It still boggles my mind why Dems try to negotiate with them.

Well, i’m sure that the Bush/Cheney administration would have stepped down hard on BP oil….right?

This one is a real Cognitive Dissonance Challenge, but I believe they’re up to it.

Their slogan is “Drill baby drill”, and they normally have nothing but contempt for the environment. Plus, oil companies are totally awesome, so leave them alone. And keep government out of everything ever. And anyway, it’s not as bad as it looks, because little old Mankind isn’t capable of doing serious harm to the planet, and Al Gore is fat.

Except that…whoa, this is a catastrophe of catastrophe proportions! And it’s all Obama’s fault for being insufficiently concerned with the environment. Think of all the baby birds.

Okay, I lied, that wasn’t a challenge at all.

See, this is what I try to tell my wingnut aquaintences. This country did not come with ready-made government regulations. In fact the regs are almost always behind the times. Regulations only come when corporations do so much damage as to make the regulations imperitive. Always after the damage has been done. Then, if the government actually gets effective regulations in place and enforces them, you will have everything run smoothly and no more damage is done. If the regs are effective they are soon forgotten about by the general population and often later, under pressure from corporate lobbyists, relaxed or removed. So if regulation is effective and there are no disasters we have the wingnuts screaming about big government interference and infringement of freedom (obviuosly if things are running so smoothly there’s no need for silly regulations) and when those regulations are relaxed or not strong enough in the first place they scream about goverment incompetence.

Well, i’m sure that the Bush/Cheney administration would have stepped down hard on BP oil….right?

Wouldn’t you know it, Cheney’s actually responsible for eliminating the requirement that offshore oil wells have a cap in place, that automatically seals the well if there’s this sort of disaster.

And we all know how well that deregulation is improving the Gulf’s economy.

Nuts are fruit

See? This is why girls drive funny.

It’s a breast capable of destroying an entire state: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/01/virginia-seal-breast-picture_n_559673.html

Obama’s Katrina?
Uh HUH.

Get back to me when Obama yucks it up with a fancy-ass guitar while the Coast Guard gathers thousands of dolphins, shorebirds & fish into the Superdome & CNN starts filming Mutual Of Omaha’s Lord Of The Flies.

Your comment will be visible after approval.

roflcopter.gif !

Another Jim: Is that the thing they require on European drill rigs? The thing that could have stopped this thing right away?

Cheney should rot in the lowest corner of hell.

The thing that could have stopped this thing right away?

Depending on what caused the explosion, it might not have worked…but if it’s not present, it definitely won’t work.

Because Kerry voted for the war in Iraq Obama endorsed offshore oil drilling, Republicans won’t be able to attack him on national security energy.

Einstein had a saying about doing the same thing over and over again with the same (lack of) results.

Wouldn’t you know it, Cheney’s actually responsible for eliminating the requirement that offshore oil wells have a cap in place, that automatically seals the well if there’s this sort of disaster.

Huge. This cannot be broadcast enough.

Here’s an A.P. link.

Note the GOP-lovin’ A.P. avoids mentioning Bush and Cheney, while stating this:

The industry argued against the acoustic systems. A 2001 report from the International Association of Drilling Contractors said “significant doubts remain in regard to the ability of this type of system to provide a reliable emergency back-up control system during an actual well flowing incident.”

By 2003, U.S. regulators decided remote-controlled safeguards needed more study. A report commissioned by the Minerals Management Service said “acoustic systems are not recommended because they tend to be very costly.”

~

Crooks and Liars:

Papantonio: Thank Dick Cheney and His Meetings With Oil Industry Execs for Lack of Safeguards on Oil Rigs
~

I normally get off the boat. But I just can’t do it this time. I’ve had a shitty day.

BP last year:

“We believe industry’s current safety and environmental statistics demonstrate that the voluntary programs . . . have been and continue to be very successful.”

BP today:

“Uh, hey, anyone have a clue how to shut off an oil leak a mile underwater? We, ah, misplaced our copy of the plans and if you could just email them to us, that’d be hot. And, yeah, some engineers with experience would be great, too.”

“Dear fuckhammers, if you’re so concerned about the environment all of a sudden, then why not get your lardy asses down here and help us clean up this mess? Oh that’s right–you don’t really give a shit. You’re just making political hay out of the ruination of my home.

Please die.

Hatefully Yours,
Unt Lick”

Best letter ever.

I normally get off the boat. But I just can’t do it this time. I’ve had a shitty day.

You’re not missing much; it’s one of those sites with a horrible layout that’ll make your eyes bleed, and Jacobson is getting pWn’t in the comments.

“and Jacobson is getting pWn’t in the comments.”

Well, that’s something! Usually the comments are worse than the columns. (Yes, I often subject myself to those too.)

“acoustic systems are not recommended because they tend to be very costly.”

Indeed, about a tenth of one percent of the cost of the rig, which itself is worth an order of magnitude or two less than the value of the oil pumped out of the well.

So, yah. some vanishingly small percentage of the venture is far too much to spend to avoid destroying the Gulf, not to mention a significant portion of LA’s tourism industry, fishing, public health, etc.

Thanks, Dick.

At least now we know some of what went on in those super secret energy meetings that were the first thing on the menu for the Bush boys.

I don’t suppose it’s surprising to hear this sort of dreck from the Not So Mighty Wurlitzer. They know where the blame really lies, and feel the need to get out in front and divert it asap. Yep, a thoroughly-fucked-at-every-turn response to a massive natural disaster that gave days of warning is just the same as giving a private company a chance to clean up their own mess when it seemed small enough to do so. Exactly.

Oh, yeah. I nearly forgot.

Drill baby, drill.

DrSpill baby, drspill.

Get back to me when Obama yucks it up with a fancy-ass guitar

Well, Bono was at the White House yesterday – I’m sure there’re pictures. The insinuation is already making the rounds, so, yeah, that’s covered in this fantasy. You got the Gulf and the celeb, all that’s left is a flyover of sumpin’. And a birthday cake.

As long as we’re making shady analogies, couldn’t this be Obama’s 9/11? A sudden disaster, the possibility (but not the certainty) of which was foreseen for some time. An environmental impact that was initially underestimated. And a stark reminder of the urgency of carrying out an agenda the administration wanted passed anyway.

So why isn’t the right rallying behind President Obama, our Commander in Chief in this War on Oil Spills? Why do they hate America?

Via Wonkette, Jonah “The Whale” Goldberg haz a sad: those mean ol’ environmentalists might use an epic disaster to argue that we shouldn’t be drilling for oil off our coasts anymore.

(Bonus stupid: he channels Christopher Reeve from Superman IV and trots out the “statistically, offshore drilling is still safer than transporting oil in tanker ships” line.)

One guy in the comments is saying how the oil spill won’t be that big of a deal, because that part of the Gulf coast is dreary and stupid anyway, so the fish will just swim away to someplace better, and it’s a darn good thing it didn’t happen near Florida beaches, because then we’d have a problem.

It’s possible he was being sarcastic. I can’t tell any more.

ill, baby, ill

Why isn’t Sarah Palin, the Energy Expert, bringing her expertise to bear on the situation? Isn’t she going to help muster efforts to contain the spill? Are Willow and Bristol going to come down and do photo-ops cleaning birds? Will Todd charter a boat and help deploy containment booms in the water?

You’d think with all of Sarah’s expertise in the Oil Bidness and her $12 million dollars, she could do something other than post remarks on her Facebook page saying, “This is bad, but it’s not as bad as what we went through with the Exxon Valdez.”

It’s a breast capable of destroying an entire state: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/01/virginia-seal-breast-picture_n_559673.html

Boobies are things of enormous power, as Robert Jordan knew.

Moobs, not so much.

those mean ol’ environmentalists

I think Rush speculated that it was caused by eco-terrorists blowing up the rig.

Bleahhhh.

Jonah “The Whale” Goldberg haz a sad

OT, but related: Kevin Drum says “This is almost Palinesque in its aggressive defense of ignorance.”

I want to tell him not to bother, as it’s basically like “debating” a retarded raccoon, but I do find it very amusing.

Truculent–

Hilarious. Of course I immed. thought, Ah. Firesign Theatre descendents. Or words to that effect.
The scene with the country and/or western singer and Andrew Lloyd Webber made tears of mirth course down my leathery cheeks. Thx!

Nuts are fruit

See? This is why girls drive funny.

Oh, please. You know I destroyed your argument, so now you’re resorting to sexist attacks. Also, too, what tig said.

Moobs, not so much.

They have the power to make me lose my lunch. Does that count?

“It’s a breast capable of destroying an entire state: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/01/virginia-seal-breast-picture_n_559673.html
”

COOOOOOOCH!!!!

The idea that the same Republicans who pressured him into consenting to more offshore drilling, are now the ones attempting to blame him for this spill, makes me all stabby.

I was originally of the opinion that Obama was engaging in some serious political jujutsu when he came out in favor of drilling off the Eastern Seaboard- thinking that this would shut up GOP congresscritters from places like North and South Carolina which have communities based on a beach-tourism ecomony. FSM, I hope I was right…

The scene with the country and/or western singer and Andrew Lloyd Webber made tears of mirth course down my leathery cheeks.

OMFG I know! I about died. That’s Paul F. Tompkins, who has done his ALW impression in a couple of other places. I think last month’s was better overall (seriously, you should check that out, too), but that bit was one of the funniest ever.

It’s a breast capable of destroying an entire state: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/01/virginia-seal-breast-picture_n_559673.html

Good thing, Virginia narrowly missed being devastated by a boobquake.

Oh, also, re: that podcast. There are some fucking great weird, meta versions of FDR’s fireside chats that they do as a regular bit. HILARIOUS.

It’s a breast capable of destroying an entire state: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/01/virginia-seal-breast-picture_n_559673.html

Good to know that Missouri isn’t the only state that has produced an insane, boob-obsessed attorney general.

As long as we’re making shady analogies, couldn’t this be Obama’s 9/11?

Speaking of false equivalencies.

That Jonah bit was great- he’s so goddamn lazy that he’d rather cut-and-paste a takedown of his work than to knuckle under and write.

That Jonah bit was great- he’s so goddamn lazy that he’d rather cut-and-paste a takedown of his work than to knuckle under and write.

Right?! It was like, “Here’s all the mean stuff he said about me, and here is what I wrote, and it’s obviously right, so duh!” I doubt Drum will actually respond…it’s really not worth his time, even though it would probably only take 10 minutes.

I also loved the opener on Drum’s column: “Via Jonathan Chait — who owes me big time for making me read this…”

Ah, I guess that’s what was meant by “shady analogies.” Sorry. It’s early here. Well, it’s not, but I slept late. Ok, back to bed.

“Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 1, 2010 at 20:16

That Jonah bit was great- he’s so goddamn lazy that he’d rather cut-and-paste a takedown of his work than to knuckle under and write.”

Well. YOU try writing when you’re shoveling donuts into your face with one hand and masturbating to pictures of Michelle Malkin with other.

Well. YOU try writing when you’re shoveling donuts into your face with one hand and masturbating to pictures of Michelle Malkin with other.

OHO! I just happen to have a gravity-fed donut hopper above my computer, for hands-free gorging.

WOLVERINES!!!!

HAMSTERS!!!!!!!!!!

Stormfront? Vdare? Nope- Gateway Pundit

Richard BaggNo Gravatar
May 1st, 2010 | 9:52 am | #14

everyone knows most black people don’t eat “Skrimps”. So if for instance this oil threatened a chicken farm or a popeyes chicken Obama would have been on it. Obama hates white people.

Breitbart to the white courtesy phone.

HAMSTERS!!!!!!!!!!

Powered by some faggy renewable energy? A real man would have a gas-powered generator for that. In a basement. With no ventilation.

OT, but related…

Good grief. Yeah, the banksters did learn something, Jonah; they learned not to have any of their own skin in the bubble game the next time around. In fact, they’ve already figured out how to do that in derivatives 2.0. Which would make the disincentive to have another mortgage meltdown… what, exactly?

That man deserves a visit from an entire zoo’s worth of junk-punching beasts.

Which would make the disincentive to have another mortgage meltdown… what, exactly?

But…but…Crystal Pepsi! (Which I still have a palette of in my basement).

Let’s just hope the oil spill doesn’t cause any of the wildlife to morph into human-animal hybrids, because then the option of moving off to Arizona would be entirely out of the question.

Yeah, the banksters did learn something, Jonah; they learned not to have any of their own skin in the bubble game the next time around.

One only tends to learn from one’s mistakes if one suffers the repercussions of said mistakes. If one can externalize one’s losses, and evade all penalties, what incentive does one have to avoid fuckups?

Hell, Dubya’s career trajectory was the perfect example of this principle at work.

Well. YOU try writing when you’re….

That weird “HYUUUUURRK!” noise was my lunch making a break for freedom.

“statistically, offshore drilling is still safer than transporting oil in tanker ships”

So why improve either, right? Except we’d never get enough oil off our own shores unless we also super drastically reduced our consumption, there’s just not enough there, so those rusty tankers will continue to list their way into our waters no matter how much drilling we do, making his statement utterly pointless. And holy shit, T&U, that crisis column is jaw-droppingly dumb.

But…but…Crystal Pepsi!

I actually liked Crystal Pepsi. And New Coke. And Surge, too.

Apparently, if I like it, they discontinue it. (See also: Firefly.)

Apparently, if I like it, they discontinue it. (See also: Firefly.)

Lawn darts… damn nanny staters!

I actually liked Crystal Pepsi. And New Coke. And Surge, too.

Awww Surge was the SHIT. Better than Mountain Dew, anyway. I liked Crystal Pepsi, too, but I was also 12, so pretty much any sugar-water was enjoyable to me. Don’t remember New Coke.

See also: Firefly.

Well, that’s what you get for liking anything related to Joss Whedon outside the Buffy franchise.

I have a whole theory about “New Coke”, and I’m pretty sure it’s the right one.

“New Coke” was intended solely to clear “original” Coke off the shelves so the switch to 100% HFCS wouldn’t be immediately obvious to the consumer. So they stopped making “original” Coke for 6 or 8 months, then re-introduced the HFCS version as “classic” Coke.

They’d started using HFCS in the late 70s, I think, but were still using some sugar. Also this was back when they still had some local bottling plants, so it’s possible that some were still using all sugar.

Lawn darts were awesome! And nobody’s skull got pierced.

And Surge was some damn good stuff.

And Jonah is an idiot of unusual size.

Lawn darts… damn nanny staters!

I had a set of those as a kid–and considering my brother’s temper, it’s a minor miracle I survived to adulthood.

Awww Surge was the SHIT. Better than Mountain Dew, anyway. I liked Crystal Pepsi, too, but I was also 12, so pretty much any sugar-water was enjoyable to me. Don’t remember New Coke.

I have this love/hate relationship with Mountain Dew: it’s got stupidly large amounts of caffeine, which is good, but it also bothers my stomach. Surge didn’t, so it was great for all-night gaming binges or waking up for another 13-hour Xmas shift. New Coke was basically Coke, but sweeter. Supposedly they made it to compete with Pepsi, which tastes less sweet than Coke to me–perhaps I have defective taste buds or something.

Well, that’s what you get for liking anything related to Joss Whedon outside the Buffy franchise.

Speaking of which, he’s apparently involved with the upcoming Avengers movie, which means we should probably start a pool on who gets brutally killed.

“That weird “HYUUUUURRK!” noise was my lunch making a break for freedom.”

YOU’RE WELCOME.

I had a set of those as a kid–and considering my brother’s temper, it’s a minor miracle I survived to adulthood.

I’, glad those didn’t exist when my brothers were old enough to hate each other…though I always wanted to be an only child…

I have this love/hate relationship with Mountain Dew: it’s got stupidly large amounts of caffeine, which is good, but it also bothers my stomach.

Plus, it tastes like shit, ESPECIALLY the diet. I’m just glad Red Bull exists now–I just pretend it’s medicine

Speaking of which, he’s apparently involved with the upcoming Avengers movie, which means we should probably start a pool on who gets brutally killed.

I guess it depends on what iteration they use. It will probably be all fucked up and muddled *cough* X-Men *cough*, which makes me glad I never read the book. But I hope they kill off Captain America, because 1) ugh, and 2) wingnut FREAKOUT.

Ew. Sorry for the typos. Trying to navigate the internet with wet fingernails. Femmegeek FAIL.

Well, this is all very well and good, but it obviously pales in comparison to the FACTUALITY that is the National Enquirer stating that Obama is having omfg! an AFFAIRyesitissotrueit’sinthenationalenquirer. As this important newsbit was retooted by the ever stunningly erudite Matt Drudge, it would be obviously unpatriotic to question it’s truthiness. Also, OMFG! IT’S PROBABLY WITH SOME WHITE GIRL, TOO!

Behold

Isn’t it funny how they’re criticizing Obama for having listened to them?

“Well, this is all very well and good, but it obviously pales in comparison to the FACTUALITY that is the National Enquirer stating that Obama is having omfg! an AFFAIRyesitissotrueit’sinthenationalenquirer. As this important newsbit was retooted by the ever stunningly erudite Matt Drudge, it would be obviously unpatriotic to question it’s truthiness. Also, OMFG! IT’S PROBABLY WITH SOME WHITE GIRL, TOO!”

FUX will pick this up soon, and repeat it until it “forces” the MSM to report it too. Just wait.

If I get out of the boat, I’m going for the most rotten mango:

There’s a disagreement about whether the bill will do that [lead to more bailouts] or not, but there’s a general consensus that more bailouts would be bad.

In other words, why determine what the bill will actually do when it’s easier to just make up shit.

Native born English speaker Dale Hest done got his truck stole.

“According to most folks, the guy that took the truck was probably that Jensen boy, which’d figure, on account of he spent time in juvie for stealing cartons of cigarettes down to the Huck’s and then selling them to other schoolkids, and he only got out ’cause they couldn’t by law keep him no more.”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/pickup-truck-stoled,17337/

Obama ignored the oil leak for 15 days. Now he will make another one of his strawdog demons out of Big Oil in one more lame attempt to come off as environmentally concerned.

Throw his tinpot dictator wannbe ass out in 2012

WHERE ARE ALL THE ANTI-WAR PROTESTS??? WE’RE STILL IN IRAQ AND WE HAVE SENT APPROX 80,000 MORE TROOPS TO AFGANISTAN. WERE EARLIER PROTESTS ACTUALLY JUST POLITICAL? DID THE PROTESTERS NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT THE WAR, BUT INSTEAD JUST WANTED TO PROTEST BUSH? WHAT A SHAME!?

Boy are they puking this one out lately. Apparently unable to tell the difference between, “A Time-line is an admission of FAILURE” and, “The time-line calls for withdrawal by the end August of 2011″, they believe they are being witty? Profound? Clever?

Bricks?
Tools?
Shit-for-brains ignorant?
SOP GOPpers?

Hey Sparky, I thought leaving Iraq meant losing the WARONTERRA? It meant giving Terrorists access to all of Saddam’s WMDs? (Whenever it is that they may happen to show up). Where are the massive protests calling for escalation and more troops to protect America?

Why are Republicans throwing Tea Parties instead?

Afghanistan protests are happening, but with your tongue so far up Rush’s ass and in your current eye-to-eye embrace of his cysts, you’re just not seeing or hearing about them.

You should ask Limpy about it when he let’s go of your tongue.

If he was a tinpot dictator wouldn’t he put the Big Oil executives in front of a firing squad right next to the Big Bank CEO’s? The voices in your head are contradicting each other.

SHUT UP liberal usa haters and anticapitalism, the FREE market will solve the problem like all others and stop about the banks already, you should not enterfear in the laws of nature, the strong survive, the weak are consumed, the lazy will by destried.

Speaking of Tea-Baggers, why aren’t they out there pushing for financial regulation reform instead of applauding AZ for shitting on the 14th ammendment? I thought they hated Wall Street elites and loved the Constitution or is that the other way around.

Hey “Teaparty Passion For USA”, learn to write proper English or move back to your home country of Outer Dumbistan.

Yes. Obama should have totally pole-vaulted over the denials and soft-pedaling by BP et. al. and flown directly to the Gulf, immersing himself a mile beneath the surface and plugging the blowout with his Mighty Kenyan Cock of Muslimonazi Fascism.

Mighty Kenyan Cock of Muslimonazi Fascism.

Veiled Teabag reference?

gocart mozart said,

Speaking of Tea-Baggers, why aren’t they out there pushing for financial regulation reform instead of applauding AZ for shitting on the 14th ammendment? I thought they hated Wall Street elites and loved the Constitution or is that the other way around.

The Constitution is highly fungible, except for about half of the Second Amendment.

Humpty-Dumpty wrote it, you know.

The Administration’s response was superb. What a pity that the best description of the response outside transcripts of White House press meeting transcripts is on the Transocean website.

http://www.deepwaterhorizonresponse.com/go/doc/2931/535355/

There is little that could be done initially to solve the problem, as the fact that all concerned are still struggling to deal with it illustrates. It was the responsibility of BP to contain the problem. The administration is doing a good job of helping and keeping pressure on BP to use ALL their resources to fix this as best they can.

“you should not enterfear in the laws of nature”

Yes, one should always exit fear. Well, gotta go to the FREE market and pick up a pint of milk and some eggs. I am making pancakes and although its a little out of the way, you can’t beat the prices.

The fact is, once again the liberals have it all wrong, regulations caused this mess, if only the free market had been allowed to purveil it would never have hapened or been cleaned up by now. The goverment always makes this worse.

“Humpty-Dumpty wrote it, you know.”

Its the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party! Now it all makes sense.

The fact is, the blacks in New Orleans were shiftless and violent when faced with the hurricane. They stayed home and waited for big daddy goverment to send busses to pic them up. When big daddy didnt come, they raped and looted and shot up the place, well here in the Heartland that doesnt happen when their is floods, we get together and solve problems better than the goverment and epsecialy the blacks, who it is proof are not very inteligent and bred for violence and trength only no self control.

I loved this response to a stupid reporter’s question

Q Secretary Napolitano, you come, of course, from Arizona, a landlocked state. I’m curious — I’m sure you’ve never dealt with anything like this before in your tenure as governor of Arizona — has this been a steep learning curve for you as Homeland Security Secretary?

SECRETARY NAPOLITANO: In terms of the terminology and the technology, yes. In terms of managing an incident that involves multiple federal agencies and the intersect with state and locals, we’ve already been through several of those in my tenure as Homeland Security Secretary.

Gary, you’ll never make it as an English teacher in AZ. What was your original languge at birth? It should say it on your long form birth certificate or did you “misplace” it?

The fact is, the blacks in New Orleans were shiftless and violent when faced with the hurricane.

Parody or not, that isn’t fucking funny.

So, to whomever you are.. GO FUCK YOURSELF!

owlbear1 said,
“So, to whomever you are.. GO FUCK YOURSELF”

Seconded.

Classic GOPper…

…on the new lapel pins Cuccinelli recently handed out to his staff, Virtus’ bosom is covered by an armored breastplate.

When the new design came up at a staff meeting, workers in attendance said Cuccinelli joked that it converts a risqué image into a PG one.

This person has already made their own life a living hell.
Pointing out to him how stupid and frightened he is, just seems mean.

And fuck you again “Gary”…

Mighty Kenyan Cock of Muslimonazi Fascism.

Fuckin’ win.

OK so this thread, as usual, is so fucking good. I mean you guys are the funniest and most literate commenters on any blog, bar none. And Tintin I fucking LOVE the French anyway but you take the gateau baby–here’s hoping you publish a coffee table book of yr p-shops in time for Xmas–yes i would buy it for real.

/suckup mode

OK so about the post, Katrina and the oil rig explosion would be equivalent only if we could have been predicted the explosion days in advance and failed to act like chimpy mcslacker, or if the levees that got toppled in the hurricane had been owned by BP and maintained by Halliburton and they had lied about how bad the damage was. And then there’s this line from Professor Dickheads’s thing:

Because it would be wrong to blame a President for a disaster the President did not cause, or a failure to predict when the disaster would take place, or a slower than idyllic response.

Man, for a professor (or whatever) at Cornell to make such a stupid mistake in word choice–do ya think he mighta meant “ideal” here unless he was saying the response should have been pastoral and serene? What a fucking maroon.

Is that the thing they require on European drill rigs? The thing that could have stopped this thing right away?

S. cerevisiae, yep.

There aren’t enough cursewords for the sheer ignorant sociopathic douchebaggery of Cheney, Bush & co. I’m sure we are going to continue to come across more landmines they planted, for years to come.

I like being sucked up to. Continue!

Ruppert needs to keep the cork on the fork.

Fuck those fucking fucktards of fuck.

vacuumslayer said,
May 2, 2010 at 2:08

I like being sucked up to.

Yeah checked out yr website–I guess a beautiful manipulative witch would like being sucked up to! (I don’t even know what that means so don’t read anything into it! 🙂 And girl very cool art BTW.

Fuck those fucking fucktards of fuck.

Most surreal and eloquent comment I heard all day. Also too, idyllic and shit.

Chimp, non-snarky sincere thanks…and welcome 🙂

Chimp, non-snarky sincere thanks…and welcome 🙂

Thanks baby, nice meeting you. Oh i would throw out my website as well but it’s slightly obscene so that wouldn’t do! 😉 I will definitely look for yr comments tho girl in tha future.

Thanks chimpevil, its a combination of cheap lager and good nuggets.

As an OT observation; cheap beer and good nuggets can be much more interesting than good beer and schwag.

I think that while this situation is obviously not the same as Katrina in the way that the right has been presenting it Obama has been given way too many free passes by supposed leftists on his environmental policy, here is a quote from the O man himself concerning offshore drilling:

“Ultimately, we need to move beyond the tired debates of the left and the right, between business leaders and environmentalists, between those who would claim drilling is a cure all and those who would claim it has no place. Because this issue is just too important to allow our progress to languish while we fight the same old battles over and over again.”

see how he claims to be rising above ‘environmentalists’ and ‘business leaders’ in order to create the super smart non-partisan ‘drill baby drill’ policy which just happens to be exactly what those same business leaders want. The only difference I see between Obama and Bush is that Obama is willing to play pretend, Bush gave vigorous handjobs to rich fucks, but Obama acts like he’s stabbing the capitalist class while he quietly jerks them off with his other hand.

side note: I got the Obama quote from an article by Louis Proyect on The Unrepentant Marxist, a very thoughtful blog which is well worth reading if you are looking for a decent leftist critique of Obama and other centrist assholes.

The article in question:
http://louisproyect.wordpress.com/2010/05/01/obamas-katrina/

The fact is, America is in trouble because we no longer have racial purity, Rome went downhill when all the race mixing happened, same thing.

BTW, for those who don’t remember, BP was also neck-deep involved in setting up the conditions that led directly to the Exxon-Valdeez disaster.

There aren’t enough cursewords for the sheer ignorant sociopathic douchebaggery of Cheney, Bush & co. I’m sure we are going to continue to come across more landmines they planted, for years to come.

And as each explodes in the years to come, the GOPpers will hail it, “as yet another proof of government failure”, while safely compartmentalizing away the fact it was Republican politicians who had eagerly built the landmines and it was they who were celebrating as the triggers were set.

<i.You know I destroyed your argument, so now you’re resorting to sexist attacks.

I had an argument? That’s news to me. I thought I was making stupid jokes.

Whoops. Five mojito tag fail.

OMFG! IT’S PROBABLY WITH SOME WHITE GIRL, TOO!

Once you go white, it’s time to indict?

Well, gotta go to the FREE market and pick up a pint of milk and some eggs.

Heh. Back in the 80s, Hornby Island had a FREE STORE (although I didn’t actually go in) … hmm, I wonder …

Interwebs Powers: ACTIVATE!

Yep, still going strong.

girl very cool art BTW

Agreed … & to think, it only took me a year or so to boldly leap into action to see it …

Wouldn’t you know it, Cheney’s actually responsible for eliminating the requirement that offshore oil wells have a cap in place, that automatically seals the well if there’s this sort of disaster.

LEEEAAVEEE DICKY ALOOOOOOONE!!!!!!

Hm.

Knowing Whedon, he’ll probably wind up killing the Wasp.

Couldn’t they shoot the oil slick with their legally concealed handguns?

I thought that was pretty much the solution to any given problem?

pew! pew!

Now it’s god’s responsibility.

The POTUS called Michael Steele “Notorious G.O.P.” tonight. I thought maybe he was cribbing from the Sadly No! archives but alas, close but no cigar although perhaps I overlooked it.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/25870.html

TOP TWENTY RAP NAMES FOR MICHAEL STEELE

Token Loc
King Ad-Hoc
Kanye Deep South Only
Rythem Method Man
Galt ‘n Peppa.
The Vainglorious P.I.G.
Mos Tone Def
Iced Tea Suh
Filibusta Rhymes
Notorious B.I.G.W.A.N.K.E.R.
Ice T-Bag
Vanilla Ice (heh)
Ol’ Dirty Golfing Partner
Run Dumb M. Steele
Chucka Conjob
TuPAC
Flat Tax Slim
Birfer Rhymes
K-StreetRS-One
MC G.O.P. Pants

The fact is, America is in trouble because we no longer have racial purity,

Are you the bozo I’ve been toying with on Alternet? There’s some tosspot of major proportions wanking on about ‘purebreds’ and ‘mongrels’, and how whiteys make civilisation while darkies make, dunno, violence (but not with guns, ‘cos only decent white folks have guns. Or something. It’s a little disjointed, his argument).

Rome went downhill when all the race mixing happened, same thing.

Matey, Rome went downhill because of (a) the drinking water running through lead pipes, and (b) ferocious incest. After a few generations of the aristocracy procreating with their sisters, the ‘master Roman race’ were pretty much a bunch of barking mad chinless wonders trying to mate with the pipes, combining both problems at one stroke.*

*Not at all veiled penis reference.

I agree with George up there, our man Obie has been far too lax with the pinstripes and my feeling is ….OMG! ITS BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS ON IFC!

anyway as I was saying

I really doubt that Obama or any other figure head we put in power has any power at all, Congress is controlled by the corporate lobbies and the administration has been bought and sold.

The oil drilling decision falls along that line and really was no surprise.

Should blow up in Obie’s face but it won’t, the public is far more forgiving and forgetful, they just keep getting bolder each administration regardless of party. I think we’re fooling ourselves.

Anyway back to old cinema and vodka.

“The POTUS called Michael Steele “Notorious G.O.P.” tonight.”

NO WAY!! GET OUT! That’s fuckin beautiful.

Crap, it’s old. There’s t-shirts from May 09. Sigh.

Always behind the curve, me.

Well, I hope Obama gets out of the Correspondent’s dinner and in front of the cameras quick, otherwise they’re going to endlessly show a split screen with him joking on one side and a shut-down Times Square on the other.

Wonder if it’s a right-winger bomb? Seems like they screwed up – Al Q’s track record has been pretty poor, what with the Underpants Bombs, but this seems stupid enough to be a right winger.

Ok, WordPress hates me.

I agree with George. We’re doomed, it doesn’t matter what party, the administration has been bought and sold. Obama acts like he’s got a gun to his head forcing him to make these decisions and like a man with a gun to his head he seems to be saying between the lines, “I really don’t want to do this but in the interest of cooperation…”

And anyway, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is on IFC and the vodka is waiting.

So bye anyway.

Are you the bozo I’ve been toying with on Alternet?

He might be, but those views are unfortunately common.

ZEN-NOH Longnose Sucker Ketchup
Wholesaler’s Early Porgy Salsa
Nestle S.A.’s Morwong Enchilada
Creighton O’Connor’s Lentil Paprikash
VINCI Conscientious Okapi Coffee
Tyree’s Pert Mole Sherbet
Marybelle Kenna’s Copperhead Macaroni
Prakfootpath Jinge’s Mayfly Sauce
A. P. Moller – Maersk’s Bigeye Sprinkles
European Aeronautic Defence and Space Company EADS N.V.’s Intriguing Hare Miso
The Boeing Company Swampfish Loaf

Now that’s some spicy sushi!

Marathon Oil Corporation Almond Ice
Adena Eura’s Cowfish Paprikash
Basically’s Fettuccine Pie
Time Warner Inc.’s Wensleydale Hummus
Conrad’s Squarehead Catfish Gazpacho
Commander Cassidy Emmy’s Low Raven Primavera
Nissan Motor Co., Ltd. Zucchini Stew
Countess Artificialness-Subtasks’s Silver Fox Sprinkles
Syreeta’s Zesty Blackchin Sauerkraut
Eni S.p.A.’s Florida Panther Hamantaschen
Daimler AG’s Torpedo Ball

Matey, Rome went downhill because of (a) the drinking water running through lead pipes, and (b) ferocious incest. After a few generations of the aristocracy procreating with their sisters, the ‘master Roman race’ were pretty much a bunch of barking mad chinless wonders trying to mate with the pipes, combining both problems at one stroke.*

Don’t forget all those blond, blue-eyed illegal aliens coming over the northern border.

Varus, where are my motherfuckin’ eagles???

Don’t forget all those blond, blue-eyed illegal aliens coming over the northern border.

Fuckin’ lebensraum.

How does it work?

First, you buy Poland a few drinks, to cloud its judgment.

Does Greenpoint count?

Substance McGravitas said,
May 2, 2010 at 5:52

The JanusNode rap name generator is not yet ready for primetime.

Matey, Rome went downhill because of…

… lewd, all-night canola oil parties with highly trained mastiffs, nimble Vestal Virgins, and leather-clad Praetorian Guards. This degenerate behavior led to a lack of moral fiber, and lack of fiber in turn led to paralyzing constipation, leaving the Romans defenseless against shit-flinging barbarians.

The fact is, America is in trouble because we no longer have racial purity, Rome went downhill when all the race mixing happened, same thing.

Yep. The minute all those white boys showed up on boats, the whole continent started going to hell.

“The fact is, America is in trouble because we no longer have racial purity.”
TELL me about it.

Hey, you know how every now and then someone here suggests that we should turn a social issue into a military one? Like, “recruit everyone into the army so we all get Vet benefits”, that sort of thing? IT’S HAPPENING FOR REAL.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8655651.stm

“No longer”?

Man, people have been fucking other races on this continent for so long the Spaniards had to make up dozens of new words just to describe their kids. That particular cat was out of the bag faster than Columbus could get his dick wet in some Hispaniola cooch. And that’s just for this continent!

You never had racial purity, here or back in Ye Olde Lands. Your most dear and sainted Anglo-Saxon grandmother took it up the ass from a Mongol. Your greatest of great grandparents sucked off an armada of Berbers. The Aryan Nation is the product of the rhythm method failing with folk from the Punjab.

Humanity is just one big orgy, and even now, there’s someone coming on the face of new and exciting races.

there’s someone coming on the face of new and exciting races.
Is this covered (VBR) by Rule 34, or its corollary?

there’s someone coming on the face of new and exciting races.

I, uh, got a little… uh… excited.

Let market forces handle the problem. When John Bolton was on Bill Maher, he said that whether oil platforms or coal mines, shit happens and people just need to get used to these being dangerous industries as if safety practices played no part.

Please! Drill baby drill is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.

Is this covered (VBR) by Rule 34, or its corollary?

Sure, why not.

When John Bolton was on Bill Maher, he said that whether oil platforms or coal mines, shit happens and people just need to get used to these being dangerous industries as if safety practices played no part.

Stupid peons should have chosen their parents more wisely!

Stupid peons should have chosen their parents more wisely!

By the time I got to the head of the line, all the rich ones were taken.

OT …

Don’t miss this chance to own your very own bankrupt Moonie rag. It costs only $35 million a year to maintain and comes complete with its own snakes.

Don’t miss this chance to own your very own bankrupt Moonie rag. It costs only $35 million a year to maintain and comes complete with its own snakes.

But, but they are Free Market advocates- they CANNOT FAIL!!!

It’s, like, axiomatic, and shit.

and comes complete with its own snakes.

AKA: Washington Times management.

Long past time for the WT to fold. They made Fox News look legitimate. And long past time for somebody to shut down Sun Myung Moon’s various criminal enterprises across the country.

Why do I never trust the shorter?

and comes complete with its own snakes.
– – – – – – – – – –
AKA: Washington Times management.

Now that’s a slur against honest, hard-working reptiles everywhere.

Seriously though, I have seen many stump-humpingly weird things happen in American politics in my lifetime, but I cannot think of anything more bizarre than Sun Myung Moon becoming a major player in Washington. How will America survive without his guidance?

So, evidently, there was some sort of failed half-assed car bomb attempt in Times Square last night involving fireworks and propane tanks. Anyone seen Guncounter Gomer lately?

I think Obama caused the spill himself so’s all them white folk swimmin’ in the ocean will come out lookin’ like TAR BABIES!!!!!

He knows his folk won’t end up like thatty thar because they cain’t swim.

You-Tube gold: DRILL, BABY, DRILL!!

Seriously, not to be missed.

The decline of the Roman Empire was interestingly contemporaneous with the rise of Christianity.

How will America survive without his guidance?

Is Nancy Reagan’s astrologer still around?

Don’t miss this chance to own your very own bankrupt Moonie rag.

Ha!

Current and former Times officials said one suitor has been the paper’s former executive editor, John Solomon, who resigned in November 2009. Soon thereafter, they said, Solomon organized a group of investors to purchase the Times or launch a new multimedia outlet called The Washington Guardian.

Ha ha! A better idea is The Washington Post Also.

you should not enterfear in the laws of nature, the strong survive, the weak are consumed, the lazy will by destried.

And the lousy spellers will be drawn and quartered, after which the pieces will be arrested and used in burritos.

Matey, Rome went downhill because of…

Christianity. It went quite well for about four hundred years and then they adopted Christianity and things went downhill from there. Almost as if the Kraken had been released on them.

The fact is, no matter how hard (VPR) “Gary” tries to avoid it he is still only one letter away from being “Gay”.

“The finances are so tight that the newspaper hasn’t paid some of its bills or tended to basic maintenance issues — such as hiring an exterminator to deal with mice and snakes sneaking into the building…”

Rats jumping onto a sinking ship? Perfect winger-world action.

As Media Matters informs us, everything is “Obama’s Katrina”. Your pizza took more than 30 minutes? Heckuva job, Barry!

Shorter dumbuck wingnut:

We don’t know what big governments is, but we know it when we see it. The beauty of America is that consistency in ideology is frowned upon. Wolverines!