Skids of the Black Hole*
If you’re like me, the last thing you want to be confronted with over coffee and a bowl of Kaboom is Erick Erickson padding through the kitchen with a case of Morning Briefs.
Especially when the set, ‘briefs,’ intersects on any non-zero particular with the set, ‘soiling.’
Erick “Racing Stripe” Erickson, RedState:
Ed Feulner Makes the Left Soil Its Collectivist Self
It’s amazing, in a strict sense of the word1, how casually Erick and other such type specimens of Wingnuttius spp have begun to blend the concepts of ‘is’ and ‘ought’ in their writing, and evidently in their thinking, where present. He writes:
Behind the subscriber firewall at the Wall Street Journal, Ed Feulner and Michael Needham2 just launched a major assault against the left that has many on the left soiling their collectivist selves today.
And yet, it’s plainly apparent to those of us on the left who are boogieing through these past few days with a hey-nonny-nonny and a hot-cha-cha, that are today walking on sunshine or tripping on moonshine as the case may be, equipped as the case may be with a song on our face and a smile in our heart, that Erickson is expressing a deeper reality than the merely objective one in which we exist autonomously of Erickson. What he means is:
[The Heritage Foundation] launched a major assault against the left that has me go blaaar-haaar-haaar! waving a flaming Gadsden flag atop a pile of gay and Muslim skulls, and this is all happening in my mind, plus Eagle Publishing told me to go wide with this Heritage press release, and they don’t mean maybe, and I’m thinking…oh hey, what’s that, a bowl of Kaboom? ‘Scuse me, squeezin’ through, gettin’ pants from the dryer…to go blaaar-haaar-haaar! with an Atchisson AA-12 in each metal tentacle of my Gadsden-flag Doc Ock suit, climbing up on Solsbury Hill and being like, [boom-boom-boom] “Son, grab your things, I’ve come to take you home,” moo-hoo-ha-ha, and that would certainly have many on the left soiling their collectivist selves.3
Exhibits of the is-ought are easy to find and collect these days, and another found and collected was a RedState diary by our long-lost Snark & Boobs pal Lori Ziganto from the first of this month, entitled or rather enboobled, and if so then additionally ensnarkled, “David Letterman Finally Exposes the Truth About Tea Partiers: His Excellent Interview with Pam Stout, President of Sandpoint, Idaho Tea Party.” And sure enough, I seem to be finishing the formatting on the quotey title-thing right about…
Schmori Schmiganto, SchmedSchmate:
Schmavid Schmetterman Schmeinally Exschmoses the Schmuth About Schmee Schmartiers
His Schmexcellent Schminterview with Schmam Schmout, Schmesident of Schmand-schmoint, Schmida-schmo Schmee Schmarty
Turn off assimilated-Ashkenazi sarcasm mode, and sure enough, I seem to be finishing the formatting on the quotey title-thing right about…
Lori Ziganto, RedState:
David Letterman Finally Exposes the Truth About Tea Partiers
His Excellent Interview with Pam Stout, President of Sandpoint, Idaho Tea Party
A canny4 observer of the right might detect a familiar radiation emitting from this title, most signally from the phrase, ‘exposes the truth.’ It is a beacon of cluons — the quantum unit, as the photon is the quantum unit of the phenomenon of light, of incredulity.
It delivers the formidable energy of about 2 iJ, or incre-Joules per second, or an equivalent number of Watts-now. Here’s how it reads on the Watt-Fommeter, or WtF:
David Letterman Finally Exposes Watt, now? the Truth About Watt, now? Pam Stout, President of Watt, now?
The point being, and as we see with the hashed-together quotes below, it was:
A very fair and enlightening interview, showing the real face of the Tea Party to many viewers who may have only been believing the lamestream media spin (Racists! Cuckoo pants! Violent Haters!)
[Allahpundit, Hot Air:] Whatever the reason, this ends up being one of the most efficient (if possibly inadvertent) debunkings of tea-party craziness to ever hit big media.
Yup. Whatever the motives, the end result is marvelous. She could be your Mom, your Grandma, your neighbor down the road. Sure takes the wind out of the racist, crazy, angry, spitting and epithet hurling narrative, doesn’t it?
Implicit is that if you put a nice old lady on the TV, it doesn’t just look good for your movement on the TV, but it makes critiques of your past behavior be discredited, making that behavior unhappen and be always a lie the whole time.
This is magic that never fails to impress me, because when I lie I eventually find it annoying to keep up, and overall a burden; and am in any case of a temperament that deals comfortably with truth in a loose, Rashomon sense, but that prizes facts, and finds bad faith ultimately mysterious as a policy — like a commitment to smell funny, or to cheat at yoga.
Yet there are people out there — and apparently lots of them — who can lie like a tatami mat; like a fat old savanna-blown Felidae, recumbent as well as in wait, as well as in Winter. There are rare individuals, often like skunks noticed widely, whose métier comprises the Pullman-rhythmed whopper-dopper of the Chicago sales drummer or the rap of the New York bunco — his austerity of speech, his delivery like a plank slapping water — alternating or combining this with the languid tobacco-spitting and jimmie-whittling art form of the Southern porch scoundrel, thereby attaining a syncretism of American oskafagus, a sort of Mason-Dixon lying. There are people, and apparently lots of them, who can lie like Manet’s Olympia singing the chorus of “The Boxer.”
And this is the magic trick: When their conscience if any comes around swinging its lantern, carrying its dire abacus under its arm, they just lie to it that that they didn’t lie. And their conscience is like, “Oh-kay. I’m just passin’ through. Whatcha got there, a bowl of Kaboom?”
Although sometimes at that point their conscience is like, “Hey, wait a second. Did you just lie to me?”
“No,” they say. “I just said I didn’t lie. How could that be a lie?”
And their conscience is like, “Oh, it could be a lie if you didn’t lie. It could be one then.”
And it walks away like, “Jesus, I dunno. One of these days, I tell ya. OKAY, I’LL BE WATCHING YOU, PAL. Christ in a Messerschmitt,5 this freakin’ place is starting to get to me.”
That’s apparently how they do it.
As it happens, and relatedly, the spitting and epithet-hurling that Ziganto mentions refers to the Tea Toddler gantlet outside the Capitol building that was walked by Representatives John Lewis (D-Blax0r), Emanuel Cleaver (D-Blax0r), and Barney Frank (D-Fagg0rt), and others. The account that Lewis gave of the incident was ‘debunked’ by the Teepsters when somebody produced a 23-second video clip in which a general racket of noise and chanting6 makes it impossible to distinguish any epithets that might have been hurled during the very end of Lewis’s reportedly five-minute encounter there, as he moved past those specific Tee Ballers at that specific location.6.5
Right, sure, logical fallacy, yadda-yadda. But you don’t get it, see. The video alone wasn’t proof enough, so that’s why the liberals were soiling themselves when the nice old lady went on the TV and never spat or said ‘nigger,’ debunking the air and wind out of their lamestream Cuckoo Pants smears.
Ziganto’s ‘real face’ of Tea Ballery isn’t real in the sense that objective things are — in the sense in which James Boswell was confounded by Berkeley’s immaterialist theories of the nonexistence of existence, and Samuel Johnson kicked a rock and said, “I refute it thus!” It’s not what is actually evident at Tea Parties, should one attend some of these and analyze in good faith the impressions gained through sense data. Here is — and then so long to Ziganto and thanks for all the TP, I guess — her description of a real 9/12 rally, as opposed to the imperfect less-than-real ones that exist in life, where you find all the fiftyish white guys and gals with no rhythm and sub-Wrangler jeanwear, standing around with signs about imaginary tax increases and imaginary Federal firearms seizures. And this includes rhythmless white people of all races, by the way, as well as the ubiquitous Ben Hancock, that generic Colonial-garbed Founder sometimes present in dozens of simultaneous iterations.
We now return to the Erick Erickson post already in progress:
The sleeping giant that is the Heritage Foundation has woken up.
I guess it’s not a sleeping giant anymore then, is it? That sounds like an awake giant then, doesn’t it? Hello, Erick? Hello, Erick? If something is afoot, and something else is too, are somethings afeet? If a door is ajar, is the door jamb a jam jar? Hello, Erick?
Feulner is the President of the Heritage Foundation and Needham is CEO of Heritage Action for America.
Hi-ho, Needham here, head of HAA. Glad to meetum, take a seatum. Seriously: worst acronymy since Filth: The Mary Whitehouse Story had Whitehouse, postwar Britain’s most notorious decency crusader, heading a group called Clean Up National Television.
For a few years, the right sat on the sidelines while groups like Center for American Progress and other leftwing agitation and noise machines set up 501(c)(4) groups tied into 501(c)(3) groups. The tax code was murky at best and the left took risks while the right sat it out. Many a right-of-center lawyer advised caution while the left damned the torpedoes and went full speed ahead.
Consequently, most major advocacy groups on the 501(c)4) books with a concurrent (c)(3) are leftwing.
(c)(0)
J
c
The catch is that a (c)(3) can do no political advocacy, just education. But a (c)(3) gets tax deductible contributions. A (c)(4) does not get tax deductible contributions, but it can do much more aggressive advocacy in the political arena. Tying the two together so you get both the brains of the (c)(3) fueled by charitable contributions and the muscle of the (c)(4) fueled by relatively anonymous non-deductible…
(x)(x)
J
—
…In fact, one of the key points the left has used to attack Heritage is some of Heritage’s ideas that were incorporated into Obamacare — the danger of a think tank thinking outside pre-approved political party talking points.
More like the danger of a think tank tanking outside pre-approved whatsis. And in Heritage’s case, it’s a kind of danger like if you carry a cannonball up to the roof of a low, flat building like a 7-11 and hold it over the parking lot at about waist height, as people walk by and cars pull in and out of parking spaces — a danger that once you let go of it, a cannonball may drop into the parking lot.
Well, Heritage is today announcing it is creating a 501(c)(4) advocacy group. The reason the left is so fearful and Media Matters and the gang are furiously scribbling their crayons into nubs of wax is because Heritage is so established across the nation.
And may we note, crayons ascrawl, that the previous advocacy dodge by the Heritage folks was a little thing called Townhall.com.
As Feulner and Needham note:
Heritage Action will have the ability to create this pressure. There are 110 congressional districts in America with over 1,500 Heritage supporters apiece. Two-thirds of congressional districts in this country have over 1,000 Heritage members each. Now they will have an advocacy organization that can press Congress on their behalf.
So the subscription list for Kiwanis Magazine will buy you an iron-fisted juggernaut7 of howling, white-hot destiny to use for good or evil, is what you’re saying.
The closest the left has is unions. But union members are largely forced against their will or coerced to join. With Heritage, all those supporters in each congressional district are there by chioce.
‘By chioce’ isn’t quite by choice, but not totally by chaos either. It’s between the two, like when something happens by chance or rather by chimps.
It’s like when something weird but not completely random happens, and I’ve been meaning to bring this up: Last week I saw that the candy Rubus spp. berries were disappearing, but only the red ones. Entropy and natural shrinkage8 were ruled out nearly summarily, and I thought to myself, “Here’s a fine puzzle.” Was there a ripening process by which the black ones turned red, or vice versa, and maybe fell out of the bowl thereby to turn German, or Germinate?
Chimps — that’s one of the main things I didn’t think when I went to turn on the standing lamp with feet and hair on it, and saw that it was a chimpanzee standing erect with a lampshade on his head, or actually not even, because the lampshade was on the floor next to him, and it wasn’t even a lampshade but a rubber chimp mask with a light bulb stuck in the mouth. “Who was that supposed to fool?” I asked him. His arms expressed the universal I-don’t-know sign.
I knew then that it would pay to notice things more, or notice more things, or whichever had the greater amount of noticing energy, thingwise. I intended to try both.
Myron’s Discobolus — I didn’t remember having one of those. It seemed normal-looking, as opposed to hairy with feet. But it had feet, so to be certain I turned to the seven-foot-tall man in a long, tan overcoat who was standing next to me reading an upside-down newspaper. I said, “Hey, does it…” and just like that, the overcoat flew open and two chimps inside threw a half-eaten apple and some kiwi rinds at me. Then he closed the overcoat and just stood there, like ‘What?’
The Discobolus put the dinner plate it was holding onto the mantelpiece, dismounted the podium which was actually a crouched-over chimp with a sheet draped over it, and knuckle-walked whitely out of the room, leaving flour tracks on the floor. On a hunch, I looked inside a large wooden crate marked ‘chimps’ and it was filled with exactly those.
The next day I looked in the bowl with the candy x-berries, and there were only a few red, or ‘rasp’ ones left, but a whole huge ton of black or ‘black’ ones. “I really think it was the chimps,” I said to myself. “I just can’t see this happening totally randomly.” And myself grinned and waggled its straw boater hat, and I realized the mirror I was looking into while talking to myself was an unstrung badminton racket, such as one might accumulate from furious and unsportsmanlike badminton, or worseminton, and behind or rather in front of it was a face I quickly understood not to be my own.
“It was the chimps, Stossel. It was the chimps from the start, wasn’t it?”
“Sometimes the simple solution is the solution, wakka-wakka,” John Stossel said. “Red tape, gimme a break!” he added for clarity. He was at this moment standing over the bowl of Fruchtbonbons, picking stars of red Himbeeren out of the sea of black Brombeeren, as his moustache waggled with the chewing of something. I suspected then that it was probably one of the red candies.
“There really isn’t that much difference in the flavor,” I said. “The red and the black — they’re pretty similar.”
Stossel didn’t answer, eliminating ‘the fat’ from the things that he might be chewing.
“I imagined it was the chimps,” I said, “Expressing some greater value that red berry-like foods have in their environment, relative to black ones. Antioxidants.” Stossel looked up as I continued. “Lookalike species of black berries with harmful properties. Why just the red ones, is what I wanted to know.”
“Harmful properties.” Stossel said. “I landed on Boardwalk with a hotel on it once. I said ‘Hey pal, I just slipped and fell on your boardwalk, and now you owe me a million dollars. It’s negligence,’ I said. He said, ‘If I’m negligent, I guess I’ll neglect to give you your million dollars.’ Ha. Oh, we laughed. Boardwalk with a hotel dings you for two thousand bucks. Talk about harmful properties!”
“Why just the red ones, Stossel?”
“Everybody wants something for nothing. I mean, gimme a break!”
With Heritage, all those supporters in each congressional district are thereby chimps.
Okay, we tweaked that a bit.
And that makes the Heritage Foundation now a very dangerous beast.
Above: 2005 version more faithful to Proulx story, featured Ledger, Gyllenhaal
* Title cf.
1 ‘Amazing’ is to the sublime disorientation caused by a maze as ‘enwatersliding’ or ’emballpitting’ might be to, in the one case, the sublime slidation of going down what is in most cases more accurately a Fiberglas slide with some water running down it, and in the second case to the uncanny fear of injury briefly experienced before jumping into a ball pit, and usually pleasantly allayed upon landing in it — provided that one did not at that time encounter an anvil, bear trap, or false bottom dumping out into a dungeon sub-basement, as a ball pit might prove to have been harboring.
2 Accepting that a destiny in life is something that many men never find, or having found never rise to meet, this man Needham’s destiny is to assume a central rôle in a three-partner law firm, such as between attorneys named Dewey and Wye.
3 “I utterly refuse,” someone at Democratic Underground is saying, holding up a diorama with cast-lead archers, “to soil my collectivist elves!”
4 Whatever that word actually means.
5 After the fall of the Third Reich, Willy Messerschmitt’s brilliant career was never quite the same. Ferdinand Porsche: somewhat different story.
6 This is similar to “Human,” a new 45-second video of my feet on the coffee table that takes the wind out of the walking, hopping, skipping, jumping narrative that Dancer has sought to pin on me.
6.5 Update: The first video to appear of the two now in circulation was a 48-second one of similar description.
7 Whatever that word actually means.
8 I.e., the phenomenon observed in the interaction between seawater and the male externals — a cause of much underestimation in locker rooms worldwide and throughout time, and variously known as Poseidons Rache to the German or Gerwoman, Ocean’s 3 1/2 to the speaker of English or Scotsman, and by the French as la Maladie Anglaise.
Does that third one down on the Morning Briefing read “Republicans need Diana Ross for a chance at the Senate”?
Wow, man.
How long does it take you to kick out one of these things?
Great flow. Great stuff.
Shorter Eriq Ibn-Eriq:
Every day of defeat: A prelude to victory!
I am very concerned about some of the language in this piece. I am afraid younger writers will pick up on making references to obscure Greek statues we were never even tested on at boarding school and adding footnotes to their posts. This is the kind of excess that is going to hurt readership and be detrimental to efforts to attract new revenue streams. I’d also like to preemptively object to the next time a writer wants to make fun of Wall Street, David Brooks, or Thomas Friedman. Let’s keep it clean.
Obscure Greek statues haunt my dreams.
I just love to sit back and let Gavin’s flow of words wash over me, man. It’s like, spring!
Samuel Johnson kicked a rock and said, “I refute it thus!”
Is that why he’s such a Bad Motherfucker?
I’m unsure how that lady showing upon Letterman possibly being my grandma is supposed to make me not think she’s a racist crazy. Cause seriously, old people, in my experience, are racist as fuck. Against the Japs, the Chinese, the French, the Italians, the Germans, the Russians, the Hispanics, the African-Americans, the homosexuals, Southerners (and I would imagine Northerners)…
Sometimes it’s a kind of hapless racism, a patriotic xenophobia created in the days back when, having now since curdled into prejudices about “those people”. Other times, it’s honest hate devoid of reason.
Now, I’m not saying your grandma’s a Nazi. All I’m saying is that enough people’s grandmas are Nazis to spoil the whole age bracket.
Okay, the wingnuts’ incessant use of oral-rape imagery to describe the passage of legislation was creepy enough, but when they start referencing their coprophilia fetishism, it’s just plain disturbing.
No good can come of this.
“House Republicans Decry Obama’s “Ass-To-Mouth” of Financial Reform.”
132,000 in the in-box? Slow down.
I just love to sit back and let Gavin’s flow of words wash over me, man. It’s like, spring!
I know, its the kind of stuff that makes you feel smarter after you read it. Its fulfilling like a good Lamb Madras .
Trotsky, you are right, and it tends to be the sweet old grannies that are the worst. God rest her soul, but my maternal grannie absolutely hated Catholics, to the extent that she referred to them as ‘those people’. Pakistani’s and other from the sub-continent were only just slightly down the pecking order. We didn’t dare tell her there was some Indian Catholics……
Didn’t Erk-spawnofErk delete his most absurd and hateful twitterings not so long ago?
Well, sorry Erk. Not so much.
HERITERINES!!!!11 WOLVITAGE!!!! Fuck yeah!
Jesus Murphy, Gavin, I’ve only just regained control of my brain, and I think I’ve just blown a circuit.
From the last thread:
My favorite is “Please keep this door closed during meetings so bats do not come into the building.” WTF?
I’m currently working in a glorious building that’s a historic tram barn next to the Botanic Gardens, and it houses the state herbarium and vaults. Which means that every single frigging door is hermetically sealed and plastered with huge warning signs to “Please close door promptly and keep out the Herbarium Beetle“. I have mental images of that scene from The Mummy, where darkness falls and a massive rustling marks the demise of the villain (ish) – I pick up my feet smartly because I don’t want to be knocked down and devoured by a rustling tide of hungry chitin.
That’s a nice counterpoint to the news that two days ago someone spotted a brown snake (only the second most venomous reptile in the world) on the path between the office and the car park. I thought all I had to worry about was overwork and my brain exploding, but now it seems I need to be alert for death coming from the ground. Seems rather unfair, given that the office is at one corner of the city.
Still, at least there are no land-based sharks. That would be the final indignity. For sharks, I’d have to be near home (I live 5 minutes walk from a tranquil beach with white sand and turquoise water. Anyone fancy holidaying in Oz? I’ve got a spare mattress, if you don’t mind all the deadly wildlife).
I’m currently working in a glorious building that’s a historic tram barn next to the Botanic Gardens, and it houses the state herbarium
Obviously a very advanced society to have that indoors. In California, they just grow the pot in state parks.
So, is the collective soiling on a time delay because it’s not here yet and now I’m scared to go to bed. And what sort of quantities are we talking about here, buckets? wheelbarrows? I mean the details are important in such cases.Unless it is all in Eldrichsonn’s head.
SOILING GREEN IS PEOPLE! after several hours traveling through the intestines.
Obviously a very advanced society to have that indoors. In California, they just grow the pot in state parks.
I once lived with a guy who grew his own in the back yard. He tended it lovingly, spending hours outside with a beer picking grubs off the plants, tweaking dead leaves, checking the soil moisture, and generally showering them with love. He was rewarded with a crop of 10 lavishly flowering female plants that practically dripped THC (the pots were sticky with it), and that grew so tall and thick that they had to be tied over in an arch because they were visible from the main road. He’d then spend the rest of the year after harvest (which time gave us a house spread with sheets of newspaper on which the buds dried) happily smoking himself stupid.
Those were the glory days, when we had a decriminalisation law that meant that up to 10 plants were considered ‘for own use’, and thus attracted only a fine, not a criminal charge. Still, the daze of one’s yoof were always superior, weren’t they?
All I know is this: so far….no poo here.
BTW, what’s with the bizarre page-stretching-ness? I feel like I’m in an iMax cinema, and I have an urge to throw up on the people in front of me and then fall over the edge.
He was rewarded with a crop of 10 lavishly flowering female plants that practically dripped THC
Never mind the manbearpig, the gene-splicers have a new goal to aim at: mjchick.
BTW, what’s with the bizarre page-stretching-ness?
I’m not getting it.
Oh, thanks, N__B – you mean the page is fine and I’m just seeing it stretchy? Eeeewwww, that’s not ear wax running out of my ears, it’s brain!
Oh, thanks, N__B – you mean the page is fine and I’m just seeing it stretchy?
It may also be related to our respective screen resolutions, different browsers, or my week-long insomnia.
It’s stretchy at my house too,also. And dammit, I got sidetracked at the MicroCar Museum for two hours. Fascinating!
Wait, now I’m s’posed to be scared of the baggers ’cause the HF is gonna back ’em monetarily? News flash: I was scared shitless of ’em before, ’cause they’re FUCKING INSANE.
the danger of a think tank thinking outside pre-approved political party talking points.
Hey! He’s stealing ideas from us liberal fascists! Well I guess sometimes you have to steal ideas from outside the box in order to control the thinking that goes on within the box. Let’s call it the Paradox of Erickenides.
I love the right wing’s image of unions (the phrase “union thug” having become almost as common as “Muslim filth,” “racist black” or “liberal elitist.”) For the record, I’ve never met a union member who’d joined his/her union by anything other than choice.
The funny thing is, it’s like they take every abuse ever committed by big businesses and trusts and project it onto the unions. When exploring politics on the web for the first time eons ago, one of my first clues that the right wing wasn’t completely right in the head was an honest and sincere conservative explaining to me that the strike-breaking thuggery of the XIXth century trusts was justified because when you were surrounded by union thugs like those poor and helpless robber barons were, you just don’t have a choice.
Say what you want about Confederate apologists, even they never try to claim slavery was just a response to NAACP oppression…
It should be borne in mind that this is a sufficient conservative argument response to any argument they do not like.
There is a completely expected lack of historical knowledge of companies hiring private thugs and armies to beat and shoot the shit out of workers and the dainty conservative imagination thus prefers to envision Adam Smith and his magic elves happily turning out nails at his tree-house factory when 10 foot wart-covered union workers break in and smash everything with their Captain Caveman style clubs.
I need to remember not to read these long posts before I have my normal gallon of coffee.
Private thugs and armies, or occasionally the U.S. government’s own troops and policemen following orders issued by politicians bought and paid for by the trusts, if memory serves.
But of course, when workers start a union to represent them, that’s thuggery of the highest order.
Apropos of the news of the last two weeks: Pinkertons v. Molly Maquires.
The great soiling of the collectivist left has begun.
Shorter Gavin M.
I like Kaboom cereal without the nuts
Come on, Gav. It’s Friday. It’s been a long week. Give us a break.
The great soiling of the collectivist left has begun.
Hackshually that’s a volcano in Iceland you hear. No poop, just the rumblings of a giant ash-hole.
Full text of the article here
I wonder why Irked Irksome doesn’t pony up for a subscription then share the article? Too cheap? Too big a dick? Does CNN know the trainwreck a-coming?
Lowe’s has some great deals on soil, and, not-so-strangely enough, it’s Bagged!
BTW, what’s with the bizarre page-stretching-ness?
I think it’s because the text of the post…*AHEM*….rolled to a point below the sidebar. No doubt the commenting section has some weird relative positioning algorithm.
Hackshually that’s a volcano in Iceland you hear. No poop, just the rumblings of a giant
ashice-hole.Fixed for climate-control.
BTW, what’s with the bizarre page-stretching-ness?
Huh. Didn’t happen to me at home (Firefox 3.6 on OS10.5) but it is happening at the office (Safari 4 on OS10.6).
I need to remember not to read these long posts before I have my normal gallon of coffee.
Agreed. I read the post, but it still seems like I just got here.
Does CNN know the trainwreck a-coming?
Is the media still lamestream/liberal when Irksome IrkEmAll is part of it? How does that work?
How does that work?
House chigger.
House chigger.
Can’t they just fumigate? Or are they afraid of a scandal?
“I utterly refuse,” someone at Democratic Underground is saying, holding up a diorama with cast-lead archers, “to soil my collectivist elves!”
I want to thank ewe fo lettin me soil mize elves, agin.
Leftists are the soilers of collective pantloads.
Can’t they just fumigate? Or are they afraid of a scandal?
No no, I was thinking of the random hoop right wingers will have to jump thru when you point out that the MSM can’t be that liberal if Irky Irksome is a member.
They’ll call him a house chigger. A gadfly. A watchdog.
A gadfly. A watchdog.
Ohh, I see. So, as per usual, they have a sound answer for everything non-reality based. It’s a joy to behold.
By the way, in case you thought the Teabaggers were getting a free pass by the people of the country, think again.
So, as per usual, they have a sound answer for everything non-reality based. It’s a joy to behold.
The appropriate retort should be, “So you’re saying Irksome is a token? That he’s a meaningless blogger and is only there for comic relief?”
That ought to boil up some blood.
From CNN link:
Not mentioning the obscene gesture he made with his two hands, a foot and a York’s Peppermint Patty.
Ray March, one of the drivers, told me that a semi-truck driver tried to run his bus off the road.
That’s fair enough, I wouldn’t want a tea-bagger anywhere near my trucknutz.
I notice that little old lady didn’t ask for any Motherfucking Iced Tea either.
Finally Erick has uncovered the truth. When I showed up at my academic institution, I was immediately bound, gagged, blindfolded and transported to the shadowy headquarters of the AAUP. My blindfold was ripped off and my eyes slowly adjusted to the light, revealing the abominable Steward standing before me. And this is what she said:
“In exchange for the entirety of your Freedom and Liberty, we will enslave you. Your dues, STOLEN from you and your hypothetical children to pay for union thug flagburning colored people abortions, COULD have gone to pay for a few extra cups of that gay coffee we all like. But no. We, the nefarious Amerikkkan Association of University Professors, will FORCE you to work under much better conditions than a non-union shop. Under the guise of collectively bargaining to protect workers against pay and benefit cuts, we will slowly leech you of your freedom, draining you of your life force like so much fluoridated water.”
So I am now a husk of my former self–a husk with job security, always-available legal representation, mentoring, and economic advice and assistance. It’s a wonder that I have been able to survive.
Clean
Up
National
Television
Hilarious. It must be a humbling feeling to find out, only too late, that your supercleveringenius name is really an acronym for the thing you fear and despise most. Or you find that it means dipping your nutbag into….
It is definitely a clear sign that you need some competent assistance. If only one could find a competent person who can stop laughing long enough to provide assistance…
Two-thirds of congressional districts in this country have over 1,000 Heritage members each.
From wikipedia: “There are 435 congressional districts in the United States House of Representatives, with each one representing approximately 600,000 people.”
So…..1000 Heritage members….carry the one….. whoops! Heritage FAIL!!!!
Who the fuck is Ed Feulner, what the fuck did he say (and how am I supposed to know or care if it is behind a fucking paywall), and why would I care?
The pooch sat on one of the leather bench sofas along the window for most of the trip. It was a nice spot, considering that our Boston to Washington trip, expected to take about 7 hours, actually took more than 10 hours. Multiple bathroom breaks and food stops had prolonged the trip.
I thought old people carried Depends with them?
I’m sorry, I love S,N! but this article is almost unreadable. Snark layered on snark with pointless gibberish tossed in.
One of us is having a bad day, maybe its me but to me it looks like you tried too hard.
That’s DOCTOR Ed Feulner…who was executive assistant (secretary?) to Congressman Phil “I’m not drunk, I just drink all the time” Crane (who, with his brothers David and Dan, were called the “Kennedys of the right” and not because they were as principled in serving their constituents).
Oh, and a side note: Dan Crane was caught up in the first Congressional pedophilia scandal in 1983.
Hm. Religious right. Catholic priests. What is it about patriarchal types that they feel OK about feeling up little boys?
One of us is having a bad day, maybe its me but to me it looks like you tried too hard.
Someone has to make up for Irk not trying at all.
Wait, so, some press release I’ll never read by a couple of Heritage douchebags I’ve never heard of– <that's why shat myself? I’d already blamed it on too many muscle relaxers and a questionable vindaloo.
questionable vindaloo
BAND NAME!
Or you ran that thru Subby’s nymmachine.
Lowe’s has some great deals on soil, and, not-so-strangely enough, it’s Bagged!
Humus be kidding me!
Look, SOMEone had to say it…
I don’t like the fucking language in this fucking thread.
Actor,
What kind of scandal does it take to remove people from office. Or does a “heartfelt” Sorry press conference mend all woulds… that were inflicted on others.
What kind of scandal does it take to remove people from office.
Well, Dan BEVER (I kid you not) Crane, DDS (again, no joke) was censured by the House after he acknowledged the “accuracy of the charges” but never apologized. He was defeated for re-election, tho.
Whisper sweet “fuck mes” in my ear, Rahm.
Snark layered on snark with pointless gibberish tossed in.
It’s a feature, not a bug, sweetie-pie. Gavin’s surrealist pun pinatas are a big part of what keeps me coming back. Make a POOP joke or move the fuck on.
Who needs elections when you have signs?
On a more personal note, I was a part of an angry mob once. Just once. We were protesting this monster1 who was brought to life by this an evil genius2 who claimed he “just wanted to help.”
1 Obamacare/The Modern Prometheus
2 Obama/Dr Frankenstein
FYWP1
1 because this superscript nonsense doesn’t work for me
Make a POOP joke or move the fuck on.
Veiled diarrhea reference.
I don’t think it’s that hard¹
1 Superscripting, I mean
move the fuck on
What are “Names Moveon.org considered but decided no”, Alex?
I’ll take Nyms for $600.
I don’t think it’s that hard¹
It’s not…did you use or what? didn’t work for me..twice. Gavin got me hooked!
alt+0185, if you’re playing in Windoze
“What are “Names Moveon.org considered but decided no”, Alex?”
HA!!!
“I don’t think it’s that hard¹”
that’s what she said.
Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™ is not applicable to this post.
BTW, does anyone know where I get rich text editor for my browser? I can’t seem to find one. There were some for the older versions of Firefox, but I cannot find anything these days.
Say what you want about Confederate apologists, even they never try to claim slavery was just a response to NAACP oppression…
Today’s submission from Walter Williams….
alt+0185, if you’re playing in Windoze
Gracias, signor.
vacuumslayer, you mean this?
http://www.mozilla.org/editor/midasdemo/securityprefs.html
BTW,
² = alt+0178
³ = alt+0179
Don’t ask me why they skipped back for those.
So, another think tanker has hit the rocks and is spewing hundreds of thousands of barrels of entitlement and ignorance all over the seashore and coating the wildlife with toxic sludge? When will we wake up and start mandating double hulls for think tanks? think of the wildlife people!
does anyone know where I get rich text editor
The MSW in the back of the New York Review of Books are usually pretty well off.
think tanks
Or we could mandate that for a think tank to exist, it must demonstrate that it is, in fact, capable of thinking. Scheming and lying =/= thinking.
“The MSW in the back of the New York Review of Books are usually pretty well off.”
That made me LOL. Yup, I just LOLed.
Sorry slayer, I meant this: http://kb.mozillazine.org/Rich_text_editing
Hello… The SEC goes Taibbi on Goldman
Esteev, it could be that I’m functionally retarded, but that’s a little above my pay grade.
Could “Going Taibbi” be a good band name?
Could “Going Taibbi” be a good band name?
Yes, but they’d have to play “Turning Japanese”.
Off topic but anyone watching the NHL playoffs? It’s the only things keeping me sane and on the edge of my seat!
So, some teabagger is ecstatic because, just as they have been able to produce a black person, a Hispanic person, etc. to “refute” the allegations that they’re just a bunch of bitter old honkies, they were able to produce a sane person to go on Letterman? That’s the deal? Sheesh.
they were able to produce a sane person to go on Letterman?
Not only “produced” but, “paid”.
I hate to think of the perversions of science involved in producing a teabagger.
Sweet Justice!
Well, I know the density of this style makes it hard to follow straight down the page, but a lot of work goes into having all the little parts mate together. It’s by no means formally lax or unconsidered art, although it may be unsuccessful art in the last event.
A lot of it depends not on catching the references (it’s clear that Kaboom is a flagrant old breakfast cereal , and who cares about the details) but on catching the allusions and flavors — the O. Henry and Twain cadences in the Mason-Dixon paragraph, for instance. Or, I’d mention Charles Portis, but that’s another of those references that would only need explaining.
Since I guess I just did mention Portis, he wrote True Grit, meaning not the screenplay but the novel, and among other things the novel, Norwood, and most specifically in this instance, a memoir, probably online in its entirety somewhere, called “Combinations of Jacksons.”
Off topic but anyone watching the NHL playoffs?
Yea, but half-heartedly. Last night’s Canadiens-Capitals game was pretty good.
Since I guess I just did mention Portis, he wrote True Grit
I’m aware of his work.
My brane — it hurtzzz1!!111
I really shouldn’t read one of Gavin’s intense entries until at least 2 pm.
All I know is that anything by Ericson Son of Erick and/or Clown Hall probably involved a total lack of logic, thought, facts, introspection, interest, or grasp of basic sentence structure and/or definitions.
So I’ll just leave it at that for now and be satisfied with my non-soiled pants.
(Although if anyone has anything worth soiling them with—or, rather, “with which to soil them”—I have much interest in any newsletter or website you may currently have.)
they were able to produce a sane person to go on Letterman?
Unnoticed in all the brewing is the fact that Letterman took her apart, limb by limb, without once making fun of her.
OK, once. Maybe. A little.
Uh, who reads Gav’s pieces “straight down the page”? In between the ROFL and **shoots coffee out nose**… ur doin it rong if you can read it like it’s on a kindle etc.
POOP
I’m aware of his work.
Well, I’ll raise you Branch Cabell, then.
Last night’s Canadiens-Capitals game was pretty good
Uh… Canucks/Kings was one of the best games I’ve seen in years! Jon Quick is, uh, quick.
Well, I’ll raise you Branch Cabell, then
That’s JAMES Branch Cabell to you, sir.
Oh, and standard Windows character maps for those wanting to know how to do superscript and other stuff, can be found:
* right here
* and right here (note: the “alt + XXX is the 2nd column from the right).
Hope that helps some folks …
OT: Guard your orifices!
Your orifeces, too.
Toothy new T. rex saws into eyes, rectums … and so on.
HOLY CANDIRU, BATMAN!
Canucks/Kings was one of the best games I’ve seen in years!
Shit, I’m lucky I stayed up for the OT of the Caps game…
MORNING – IT HAZ BRKEN. SRSLY. LIEK THE FIRST MRON.
anyway, I come in to work this morning to find the Teabaggers on the front page of our local fishwrap – evidently Gov. Sex-Machine Sandford has woken up to the possibilities of reimaging himself with the wingnuts and has hopped on board the Teabag Failboat.
As seems has The State, with a headline along the lines of “TEA PARTY PROTESTORS WANT FRUGALITY, ACCOUNTABILITY”, as if all the calls for violent revolution and Hitlerbama pictures and dark mutterings of treason were just a tiny minority and all they really want is better government – not pointing out that they could well have called for “frugality and accountability” from the previous misAdministraion, arguably the most unfrugal and unaccountable of modern times (but oh no, it has NOTHING to do with the President being a you-know-what, nosirree!).
I haven’t read the article itself yet, but I think I can get a blog post out of it and the letter in the local free weekly by a College Republican who wants to keep himself safe by carrying guns on campus. Much lulz.
But can a breakfast cereal truly be flagrant?
That’s JAMES Branch Cabell to you, sir.
It’s terrible because it doesn’t scan! Since ‘Cabell’ rhymes not with ‘the knell,’ but with ‘babble’ — which I didn’t know until recently — ‘James Branch Cabell’ is metrically identical to ‘Hey, diddle, diddle,’ and/or ‘The cat and the fiddle.’ Who could live with that?
He changed it at some point, truncating the ‘James’ and leaving ‘Branch Cabell’ as a dignified succession of two strong stresses with a weak one falling off the back edge (IIRC).
Here we are, gifted with not only an Adolescents reference, but three, count ’em, three Skids videos, and an ingrate like me can only ask, “What? No Working for the Yankee Dollar?
although it may be unsuccessful art in the last event
It is decidedly not unsuccessful. When a text and a head collide, it is not always the text that makes the thud. Just saying, terry2 may want to up his/her game a bit.
BTW, someone probly said it already, but isn’t launching a massive assault from behind a pay firewall kind of like, um, I dunno, fighting a war from your mom’s basement?
And we know Ewick & Co. would NEVER be that stupid.
Doesn’t matter how sane and reasonable a person sounds on Letterman, the bottom line is the mob is still reacting to non-existent facts, which either makes them stupid, uninformed, or motivated by something other than what they claim.
Death panels? There are none.
Birth certificate? It was produced and certified.
Notion that universal health care takes away your doctor choice, costs more to maintain that private health care, and reduces a country to poverty? Disproven by every single democracy that’s ever implemented it, as they’d know if they ever bothered to open a book not certified by Fox and PJTV.
Belief that universal health care takes away your freedom and leads to communism? Also disproven by every single democracy that’s maintained both a working health care system and a democratic process (often more democratic than our own) for sixty years at least.
Terrified belief that taxes are going up because the government’s spending itself into oblivion? Taxes went down all around the board since Obama’s election, because the single biggest piece of the stimulus package was TAX CUTS, not pork spending.
Belief that the United States is creating a deficit so huge no one will ever be able to pay it back? The deficit accumulated from New Deal and World War Two expenditures was much greater, and was cut down in very short order (and not by cutting welfare spending, which actually went up in the 1950s).
Belief that Obama is an unprecedentedly left-wing extremist who’s finally going to turn us into communist zombies? With the exception of Bill Clinton, every single Democratic president since Woodrow Wilson has been to the left of Obama.
I’m sure there are plenty of people at those Tea Parties who are very sincere in believing several or all of the above fears. I’m sure plenty of them are perfectly nice people, and I’ll even bet there’s a few of them who aren’t racist. That doesn’t change the fact that all of their beliefs are laid on a foundation of bullshit, that they’re chasing red herrings and shooting at shadows, and that even an elementary bit of education would change that if they weren’t so determined on preserving their right to be told only what they want to hear. So, sure, maybe you can produce a “sane” guy – the movement is still deranged, and all these “sane” people are still following completely deranged ideas.
I’m ashamed to admit that I have to go through these posts slowly, and digest the material slowly. It’s difficult reading, but so incredibly worth it!
It would make my year to have some wingnut take on the task of attempting to pick one of these apart. That would be comedy writing itself!
Since ‘Cabell’ rhymes not with ‘the knell,’ but with ‘babble’ — which I didn’t know until recently — ‘James Branch Cabell’ is metrically identical to ‘Hey, diddle, diddle,’
The man was biographized by Hugh Walpole! Now, if you really want a tongue twister say “Cabbel by Walpole” three times fast!
Of course, this is an author who pronounces “Poictesme” pwa-tem so clearly he’s not playing with a full deck anyway.
Everyone else pronounces it Pwocktezmee, as in “Open, says me”
“sub-Wrangler jeanwear”
Lolzers.
Hey, has anybody here listened to the first half of This American Life from last week? I just did, and if you haven’t, you should. Like, now.
So, sure, maybe you can produce a “sane” guy
Sane in demeanor and tone only. William F. Buckley was an exquisitely polite man (at least to the extent that I could stomach listening to him), yet a shameless corporate sockpuppet. The ones that appear sane, and manage to give the appearance that their dogma is based on fact and critical thought are, by far, the most dangerous ones. At least to this point we’ve been lucky enough to have teabaggers that don’t even try to hide that they’re stupid scaredy cats.
Unless it’s common knowledge that hedge funds were deliberately buying shitty CDOs and taking out credit default swaps on them in order to make money…which I suppose is possible.
Unless it’s common knowledge that hedge funds were deliberately buying shitty CDOs and taking out credit default swaps on them in order to make money
*looking at managed portfolio of hedge funds*
It’s possible.
Sorry, but if I’m going to shit my pants in fear it will be over something a hell of a lot scarier than the fucking Heritage Foundation.
As for the Stanley Cup playoffs I have been looking for a team to cheer for since my beloved Wild are several years away from a run. (thanks a lot D.R.!) I think the Blackhawks could make a run this year, but I am always leery of the flying wheel getting hot. Blackhawks/Capitals could be an awesome finals.
Sorry, but if I’m going to shit my pants in fear it will be over something a hell of a lot scarier than the fucking Heritage Foundation.
I’m pretty sure I saw a zombie sitting at the bus stop on the way to work. I didn’t actually shit, but there will be laundry issues.
So, is it possible to hotlink within the post to the footnotes? Not complaining (really, shine the fuck on, you crazy diamond), but it would help my poor wee femme brain follow along.
It’s possible.
Ugh. NO ONE COULD HAVE FORESEEN!!!!111!eleventy! is such a fucking outright, transparent lie. I fucking foresaw, motherfuckers, and I had negative net worth and no investments at the time.
Blackhawks/Capitals could be an awesome finals
Considering that likely means a Penguins/Caps and Hawks/Sharks semis, it might end up anticlimactic
it would help my poor wee femme brain follow along.
If you removed your brain’s hobble skirt you would (a) be able to think faster and (b) make some new friends.
This is the year the Senators go all the way. Just sayin.
Well maybe not, but that is what I tell myself every year when the playoffs roll around.
Ugh. NO ONE COULD HAVE FORESEEN!!!!111!eleventy! is such a fucking outright, transparent lie. I fucking foresaw, motherfuckers, and I had negative net worth and no investments at the time.
I don’t know why they keep up this line of bullshit. It was CLEAR back in the 90’s when artificial wealth was credit cards. Then it was mortgages, then they had mountains of bad debt to play around with and test the limits of the Greater Fool theory. Bush tried an early bailout, trying to hand the Social Security fund over to Wall Street, then everything fell apart.
Everyone knew that the artificial wealth bubble would break eventually–at least everyone who wasn’t a complete moron.
If you removed your brain’s hobble skirt you would (a) be able to think faster and (b) make some new friends.
I know, but she seems to like it. Something about repurposing the master’s tools or some shit.
Oh, and I was lying when I implied that I don’t have negative net worth now, unless you exclude student loans from that calculation…
If you removed your brain’s hobble skirt you would […] (b) make some new friends.
I’m Actor212 and I endorse this message.
Well maybe not, but that is what I tell myself every year when the playoffs roll around.
Best thing about being a Rangers fan is never having to deal with the pain of being knocked out in the early rounds.
Oh, and I was lying when I implied that I don’t have negative net worth now, unless you exclude student loans from that calculation…
So basically, you’re asking us to take out credit defaults to hedge your net worth…
You think the Sharks can avoid their usual early exit?
The Swedish communists are now stealing peoples’ body heat to use to heat their socialist train stations. This is un-Constitutional.
Given that the Thornton line won a gold medal, I think they’re probably eager to bring that to the playoffs, so yes.
S cerevisiae, as an Isles fan, I too am years away from watching playoff hockey in my town. And, like you, I too predicted a Cap/Hawks finale!
Although, the Halak looks like he is in top form right now but, the Caps have too much offense.
<You think the Sharks can avoid their usual early exit?
No, and the above message at 18:19 was from me.
Best thing about being a Rangers fan is never having to deal with the pain of being knocked out in the early rounds.
That final game vs the Flyers was intense. But, all I think about is if Gaborik was an Islander, we’d be the seventh seed LOL!
Unless it’s common knowledge that hedge funds were deliberately buying shitty CDOs and taking out credit default swaps on them in order to make money
Inside job.
FYWP. Also.
all I think about is if Gaborik was an Islander, we’d be the seventh seed
I keep watching these out-of-market games, and realize that if the Rangers hadn’t signed Jagr and hadn’t made those foolish trades they’ve made over the past five years, we’d probably be the one seed.
Tom Poti, Dominic Moore, Paul Mara, Mike Knuble…and that was just one game last night! Don’t get me started on the Phoenix Coyotes and how we practically GAVE them the fourth seed in the West!
Grrr, FYWP!
all I think about is if Gaborik was an Islander, we’d be the seventh seed
I watched one game and saw four former Rangers in the playoffs! If we held back on all the bad trades we’ve made in the past five years, we’d be the one seed!
And don’t get me started on how we practically gave the Coyotes the fourth seed in the West!
Given that the Thornton line won a gold medal, I think they’re probably eager to bring that to the playoffs, so yes.
Good point. They had better make a run this year or their fans will be howling for blood. I know I would be.
Gabby is great when healthy, but he needs to fix his glass groin. I am sure there are places in NYC that can cure this.
This is un-Constitutional
Lots of things are unconstitutional if one has never read the document.
On a similar note, for some reason I was listening to Alan Comles last night and in between begging people to call the show, he had a few teabaggins calling in regarding Article 1 Section 8 of the US Constitution. Colmes must have read the passage 20 times but it was difficult to hear over the cross-talk. Anyways, out of the 9 callers that he took 8 asked a question, was refuted and then started rants about “blacks”. I kid you not. After they were told what Art. 1 Sec 8 says when you read it, they started to complain about “blacks living on the dole” and “blacks not working hard enough.” It was appalling. But there was one funny moment when one caller said, “they [blacks] don’t work hard and Obama is going to pay them for it” and Colmes shot back with “You’re just shootin’ from the hip tonight, huh?”
An associate of mine is huge into Kung Fu. He tells me at the Shaolin temple in China they teach a technique called “iron crotch”. Perhaps the monks might be of assistance.
f we held back on all the bad trades we’ve made in the past five years
Don’t get me started on bad trades. If Mike Milbury was never born the Islanders would have won four more Cups already!
They [Sharks] had better make a run this year or their fans will be howling for blood. I know I would be.
The got booed like crazy when they lost game one the other night. They aren’t tough enough. Thorton, for such a big guy, shies away from contact more than… help, I got nothing.
Gabby is great when healthy, but he needs to fix his glass groin. I am sure there are places in NYC that can cure this.
Nope, Mr 911 took care of that.
The man was biographized by Hugh Walpole! Now, if you really want a tongue twister say “Cabbel by Walpole” three times fast!
Oh, that’s that tequila that Sammy Hagar makes. It gets you lit & stretchy.
Oh!
I’m sorry for contributing something (god forbid) related to the above post. Didn’t realize this was FREAKY HOCKEY FRIDAY here on KSAD, home of the all you can stuff $5 humorless dildo plate.
Oh, that’s that tequila that Sammy Hagar makes. It gets you lit & stretchy.
I’ll never see the Internets the same way as i did prior to visiting S,N!
And “talk about obscure fantasy authors Day”.
I’ve read most of The Worm Oroborous several times. That’s the best I can do.
You know who else was un-Constitutional?
Ed Feulner and Michael Needham2 just launched a major assault against the left that has many on the left soiling their collectivist selves today.
What, they started marketing Pabst Blue Ex-lax to hipsters?
I’ve read most of The Worm Oroborous several times. That’s the best I can do.
Piker! Did you at least get to ****SPOILER ALERT**** Brandoch Daha’s battle with the mantichora?
Oh, and how is Marathon going for you?
So basically, you’re asking us to take out credit defaults to hedge your net worth…
I’m offended that you have such little faith in my future earnings.
But yeah, that would probably be a good investment…
Speaking of band names…this is just another opportunity to point out that back in the day, Chrissie Hynde wanted to start a band called Mike Hunt’s Honourable Discharge.
Yes, but Chrissy is one of the coolest people to ever live and she can get away with that shit.
Holy fuck, FYWP.
So basically, you’re asking us to take out credit defaults to hedge your net worth…
I’m offended that you have so little faith in my future earnings.
But it probably wouldn’t be a bad investment…
BTW, I just found out my brother-in-law was laid off. His wife stays at home and they have a 10-month-old. At least their cars are paid off, I guess.
Something about repurposing the master’s tools or some shit.
Veiled blow-job reference.
FYWP times 3.
Anyway, I was saying that taking out credit default swaps against my future earnings isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
And I just found out my brother-in-law was laid off yesterday. He as a 10-month-old and my sister-in-law stays at home. At least their cars are paid off???
Veiled blow-job reference.
Sounds uncomfortable. Too warm.
It’s the “Thrill of the Lie” . Kind of like the humor of “Pissing off a Lib” but with an even stronger delusion of superiority.
Erickson, Goldberg, Limbaugh, Beck, et al are addicted to the thrill they get from lying and “Getting away with it” (i.e. – being believed)
And from their statements we know Erickson, Goldberg, Limbaugh, Beck, et al, understand that “Libs” know they are lying so there can be no thrill from “getting away with it” in that corner.
So what are they “getting away with” by “pissing off Libs”?
Selling a con job to their conservative followers. (i.e. – teh Shills)
An associate of mine is huge into Kung Fu. He tells me at the Shaolin temple in China they teach a technique called “iron crotch”.
It appears what constitutes the crotch may be a bit loose, at least for public performances.
She could be your Mom, your Grandma, your neighbor down the road.
My mother cried when she found out I had a black boyfriend in HS, my grandmother apparently was physically incapable of saying “black people” instead of “niggers,” and my neighbors were crazy people who were never seen out of doors, so sure, why not.
For a few years, the right sat on the sidelines while groups like Center for American Progress and other leftwing agitation and noise machines set up 501(c)(4) groups tied into 501(c)(3) groups. The tax code was murky at best and the left took risks while the right sat it out. Many a right-of-center lawyer advised caution while the left damned the torpedoes and went full speed ahead.
Leftist organizations like the NRA, the American Conservative Union, Council for National Policy, Citizens Against Government Waste, etc etc. Abramoff used this tactic, and many think playing this soft money system is how the Repubs won back the senate in 2002 and a large part of how they defeated Kerry.
And may we note, crayons ascrawl, that the previous advocacy dodge by the Heritage folks was a little thing called Townhall.com.
Wait, so we’re soiling ourselves in fear because they’re repeating the booty-shaking-in-your-face TOTAL VICTORY WIN that is Townhall.com, America’s Second Shittiest Website™? Um, OK.
I am afraid younger writers will pick up on making references to obscure Greek statues
That statue is actually pretty well lit.
Ray March, one of the drivers, told me that a semi-truck driver tried to run his bus off the road.
People who can only half-drive should never be given licenses in the first place!
Oh, and I totally forgot–yesterday was my BIL’s birthday!!! You just got laid off from one of the few functioning industries in this country. Happy birthday, motherfucker!
Anyway, I was saying that taking out credit default swaps against my future earnings isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
Create a corporation called Truculent, Unreliable, and Company, Inc., with you as CEO and Mr. T&U as secretary/treasurer. Write a compelling biz plan (my suggestion: tapping a huge unserved market by providing entertainment to the masses through distribution of “web-pages” pre-printed on cheap “paper”), get v.c. funding, pay yourself CEO and CFO level salaries, then go bankrupt as a company.
Sounds uncomfortable. Too warm.
It depends on who’s wearing the veil.
Create a corporation called Truculent, Unreliable, and Company, Inc., with you as CEO and Mr. T&U as secretary/treasurer. Write a compelling biz plan (my suggestion: tapping a huge unserved market by providing entertainment to the masses through distribution of “web-pages” pre-printed on cheap “paper”), get v.c. funding, pay yourself CEO and CFO level salaries, then go bankrupt as a company.
GENIUS!
It cracked me up, because that This American Life episode compared what these assholes were doing to The Producers. Which is basically what you just outlined.
Stossel:
Why that is simply shocking and terrible and where’s my passport?
Create a corporation called Truculent, Unreliable, and Company, Inc., with you as CEO and Mr. T&U as secretary/treasurer. Write a compelling biz plan (my suggestion: tapping a huge unserved market by providing entertainment to the masses through distribution of “web-pages” pre-printed on cheap “paper”), get v.c. funding, pay yourself CEO and CFO level salaries, then go bankrupt as a company.
I so wish I had the guts and emptiness to pull something like this off (Double veiled reference there). I can just imagine it’s gooey reward sitting in my bank account.
Ad catchphrase: Reliably truculent!
Good line, I’m going to use it…
FTR, the explanation I’ve heard for Article 1 Section 8 from conservatives is that even though “providing for the general welfare” was specifically mentioned as a power of Congress (and it’s hard to imagine a more literal way to provide for the general welfare than to, you know, have a welfare state for all), the government doesn’t have the right to do anything towards that end unless it’s something SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED IN THE REST OF THAT ARTICLE (i.e. providing post offices and post roads are fine, but Social Security and Medicare, not being specifically “enumerated” in the article, are illegitimate).
Why has no court ever ruled this way? Probably because conservative justices realize that establishing that as the new way to read the Constitution would create a precedent that would allow for the disbanding of the U.S. Air Force, the CIA, the FBI and all those other military, intelligence and law-enforcement agencies never mentioned in the Constitution.
As someone who has a decades-old & deep-seated hatred for the mass-media that burns hotter than a million suns, I just gotta say … the phrase “lamestream media” really roasts my nuts, & not in a good way.
The moment I first heard that moronic pun slither from the black abyss of Sarah “If You Want Some Honey, Then Show Me The Money” Palin’s slimy piehole, I knew it was just too butt-fugly not to endure. Not even the savory irony of Wasilla Peron herself being a hot-ticket icon of said “lamestream media” can mitigate the sheer blazing idiocy of that phrase.
Doesn’t look very lame to me, lady.
An associate of mine is huge into Kung Fu. He tells me at the Shaolin temple in China they teach a technique called “iron crotch”.
It’s a counter to the “monkey snatches the plums” maneuver.
Paul Krugman addressed this a while ago and determined that while America as a country was more productive than France, that was entirely due to French workers getting more time off – on an hourly basis, French workers were actually slightly more productive than American ones. Makes sense. Being better rested and not having to freak out quite as much over things like paying for your health care, your kids’ education, your kids’ health care et al all at once, probably does make one a more productive worker, and I can’t but imagine that spending decent amounts of time with your family is good for morale.
So no, France does not have as big as
penisGDP as America – on the other hand, it has a working economy, with people who don’t have to live on Wall Street to be treated decently by the economy (and the higher unemployment rate is made up for by the fact that unemployed people are not, in fact, in as precarious a situation as they are in the States – loss of a job doesn’t get compounded by loss of health care or housing). I’d call that a bargain.It’s a counter to the “monkey snatches the plums” maneuver.
When does the weasel go in the garden?
When does the weasel go in the garden?
Not before you’re married, young man!
As someone who has a decades-old & deep-seated hatred for the mass-media that burns hotter than a million suns
Trollblog!
Hey, carry on all you crazy cats… got some errands to run before I go out drinking in the Bronx.
If you removed your brain’s hobble skirt you would (a) be able to think faster and (b) make some new friends.
It’s like zombie interest. Websites and a newsletter would be subscribed by zombies, and possibly others. Relevant, is all.
BUT ONLY after updating the billing software.
got some errands to run before I go out drinking in the Bronx.
It’s a lifestyle.
PENIS reference from N__Bs orifice link.
BUT ONLY after updating the billing software.
Not updating. Dumping the over-complex bug-riddled crap I was using for something simpler and better written. (See, I can complement software guys, when they deserve it.)
So the team artificially inflated the barnacles’ genitalia with seawater using a custom-made penis pump built out of tubes and hypodermic syringes.
Who hasn’t done that on a dare?
I am sure there are places in NYC that can cure this.
I’ve tried, believe me, I’ve tried.
Thorton, for such a big guy, shies away from contact more than… help, I got nothing.
Barry Beck
FREAKY HOCKEY FRIDAY
Great band, by the way. Sang “Fuck The Zamboni”.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100416/ap_on_bi_ge/us_stimulus_nuclear_jobs
Good for a laugh. The George Wallace South despises and voted against “That One” by a very wide margin, but admits it’s benefiting from what he’s doing. Huh.
I am afraid younger writers will pick up on making references to obscure Greek statues
That statue is actually pretty well lit.
BRILLIANT!!
Being better rested and not having to freak out quite as much over things like paying for your health care, your kids’ education, your kids’ health care et al all at once, probably does make one a more productive worker
You really do hate America, dontcha Chris?
Barry Beck
SHOOT THE PUCK, BARRY!
I go out drinking in the Bronx
There’s bars in the Bronx????
So no, France does not have as big as
penisGDP as America – on the other hand, it has a working economy, with people who don’t have to live on Wall Street to be treated decently by the economy (and the higher unemployment rate is made up for by the fact that unemployed people are not, in fact, in as precarious a situation as they are in the States – loss of a job doesn’t get compounded by loss of health care or housing).but but but we got –
aw, shit, I forgot they have nukes too. Nope, I got nothing.
(Marathon is cheesy FPS goodness! Haven’t got to frog-blast anything yet though – still orienting myself. And accidentally wiping a 120Gb hard disk clean and shiny new over the weekend didn’t frickin’ help.)
SHOOT THE PUCK, BARRY!
*moment of silence for The Big Whistle’s moment of glory*
but but but we got –
higher per capita rates of obesity?
Wikipedia:
Hong Kong hockey?
Wasn’t that a Saturday morning cartoon?
Beck was Neanderthal Ranger, Messier was Cro Magnon Ranger. I’m still waiting for Iron-Age Ranger.
And wouldn’t his name be Bally Beck?
moment of silence for The Big Whistle’s moment of glory’
I love what Chadwick said of Gene Orr:
“That guy handles the puck, like a cow handles a gun.”
Iron-Age Ranger
HAH!
The only smelting at the Garden is when the toilets overflow.
Of course, this is an author who pronounces “Poictesme” pwa-tem so clearly he’s not playing with a full deck anyway. Everyone else pronounces it Pwocktezmee, as in “Open, says me”
Bill Gaines got potrzebie off the Polish section of a multilingual instruction sheet from an aspirin bottle purchased on the lower East side. It’s actually pronounced something like poCHEByeh except when it’s potraZEEbee in MAD and rhymes with Nitgedieget.
501 ( c)(3) vs 501 ( c)(4) is nothing new for the right- James Dobson was doing it years ago. Whenever he wanted to tell you specifically how to vote he’d say that particular program was sponsored by Focus on the Family Action – the ( c)(4) – and not Focus on the Family, the ( c)(3). Hope they used separate staples and depreciated wear and tear on the microphone.
And a tip of the Hatlo Hat to Pere Ubu and B^4 for The Worm Orobourous. Suck. On. This. Tolkien!
Hong Kong hockey?
Wasn’t that a Saturday morning cartoon?
Phooey!
Gene Orr:
“That guy handles the puck, like a cow handles a gun.”
And it’s so cool the way that psychiatrist guy made him able to change reality by dreaming about it.
“That guy handles the puck, like a cow handles a gun.”
While I like Sam Rosen and Joe Micheletti (but miss JD big time), there was never an announce pair like Jim Gordon and Bill Chadwick. Marv Albert came close, especially when he wore a bra and panties, but you could tell he’d rather be doing a Knicks game.
My favorite Chadwickisms:
“He couldn’t put the puck in the ocean if he was standing at the end of a dock” (that would describe the past four years’ teams, by the way)
“He skates like a cat in a marble hallway”
And his classic comment when he flew to Hawaii and was met at the airport, he said on camera: “They came to the airport and gave us leis” to which Gordon had to point out “Careful, Bill, microphones don’t come with erasers”
So having a sane-looking reasonable middle-aged lady person appear on TV counteracts the crazy that is Vctoria Jackson and Jon Voigt? How does that work, exactly?
BTW, hubby and I are convinced Victoria Jackson is doing performance art. I think she’s goofing on the teabaggers. Seriously. It’s so over-the-top. She’s like a caricature.
While I like Sam Rosen
Ugh, Rosen is the biggest homer in the world.
“He skates like a cat in a marble hallway” is hilarious.
Also, on moving to Cutchoge, Long Island: “You know how far out on Long Island, I am? When I turn to my left, I see Portugal.”
the crazy that is Vctoria Jackson
*sigh*
I read her words the other day. Yep, you guys are right. She’s batshit.
*sigh*
Just tell me Lisa Edelstein and Anne Dudek aren’t teabaggers. (Well, you know, at least in the bad way…)
“You know how far out on Long Island, I am? When I turn to my left, I see Portugal.”
The reason it’s called Suffolk County?
it’s Suffolking far out there.
BTW, hubby and I are convinced Victoria Jackson is doing performance art. I think she’s goofing on the teabaggers. Seriously. It’s so over-the-top. She’s like a caricature.
I wish but I’m afraid it isn’t true. She found Jesus but lost her senses.
BTW, hubby and I are convinced Victoria Jackson is doing performance art.
I dunno…she’s always seemed kind of, um, “unstable” to me.
The reason it’s called Suffolk County?
it’s Suffolking far out there.
*SNERK!*
ooh, I like that one.
Pere,
With respect to Lisa Edelstein, I’d say she’s probably a liberal, but I could be wrong.
Just tell me Lisa Edelstein and Anne Dudek aren’t teabaggers.
Prior to House, Edelstein was best known for two guest performances: the mystery wrapped in an enigma who slept with George Costanza, and a not-yet-operated-on transexual on Ally McBeal. Every time the camera caresses her ass on House, I find myself wondering if she’s had her penis removed yet.
BTW, hubby and I are convinced Victoria Jackson is doing performance art. I think she’s goofing on the teabaggers. Seriously. It’s so over-the-top. She’s like a caricature.
I wish but I’m afraid it isn’t true. She found Jesus but lost her senses.
The price of admission for this cult is your sanity.
She could be insane, she could be unstable.
But something about the way she acts makes me suspicious. I tell you what, if she’s performing, I will have a whole new level or respect for her shtick.
Edelstein was best known for two guest performances: the mystery wrapped in an enigma who slept with George Costanza, and a not-yet-operated-on transexual on Ally McBeal
You TOTALLY forgot her role as Rob Lowe’s hooker girlfriend on West Wing!
And you call yourself a LIBERAL?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
I’d kinda prefer it if she just ate food with wrestlers or something.
You TOTALLY forgot her role as Rob Lowe’s hooker girlfriend on West Wing!
And you call yourself a LIBERAL?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
That was the most over-rated show since Twin Peaks. I saw maybe four or five halves of episodes.
It’s one reason why Americans are nearly 40% more productive than the French
If memory serves(THAT’S RIGHT, I WENT THERE) GDP per person per hour in the US is almost exactly the same as that of France(I actually looked it up on the BLS website, bite me)… OH NOES! And Norway kicks our ass no matter how you slice it, and I hear they have some of that sweet sweet socialism, too. Plus their trolls don’t have pornstachios.
and why the French unemployment rate is so high (it never went below 7.7 over the last two decades, and most years it was at 9 or 10 percent.
France’s rate is 10.1%; in the US, U3 is 9.7%, U6 is 16.9%. SACRE SOCIALISME!
Also, guess what? According to the page he fucking linked himself, the French system is an insurance plan financed by employees and employers just like here. It’s also not a max of 58% of your actual salary when you left, but of a “daily reference wage” based on the last 12 months and with a hard cap based of 4x France’s Social Security ceiling.
She was always a Christian as far as I know.
That was the most over-rated show since Twin Peaks. I saw maybe four or five halves of episodes.
Aside from that insufferable piece of shit, House.
I showed her recent clip on Fox to a friend of mine. His reaction was similar. He couldn’t believe she was serious and thought she had to be acting.
Me, I’m not so sure. I don’t think she’s ever been that good. It is pretty tough to think she could actually mean the shit she says, though.
That was the most over-rated show since Twin Peaks. I saw maybe four or five halves of episodes.
Aside from that insufferable piece of shit, House.
You are both officially on the Moveon.org shit list.
Plus their trolls don’t have pornstachios
The truth behind their incorrigible lameness.
She was always a Christian as far as I know.
According to her bio:
She also was super cute…in 1983.
You are both officially on the Moveon.org shit list.
OMG NO! I take it all back. I worship Da Hizzle in all of his contrived, phony lamadociousness.
tigris, you are clearly unfair to Stossel, what with your “facts” and “data” and “information” and “research” and all the rest of that lefty bullshit.
Everybody knows social democracies are hellholes that hold their productive classes in concentration camps. Where do you think they make all the cheese, HMMMM?
I worship Da Hizzle in all of his contrived, phony lamadociousness.
Next time you’ll think twice about insulting my god.
not in Mormonism…
But I thought she totes luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuved Glenn Beck and wanted to have all his babies.
Also, I need a bendy straw for my Diet Coke.
With respect to Lisa Edelstein, I’d say she’s probably a liberal, but I could be wrong.
And she has rescue doggies!
*swoon*
@Lurking Canadian
Give Me a Break!©
And she has rescue doggies!
And shows them frequently, if a Google Image Search is any indication.
Oh. Doggies. Not puppies. Mea culpa.
Next time you’ll think twice about insulting my god.
I am your god. I am a jealous god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me!
A number representing productivity is more important to me than whether or not I can afford a can of tuna and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
not in Mormonism…
But I thought she totes luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuved Glenn Beck and wanted to have all his babies.
Glennbeck is a Mormon?
WELP, that explains a lot.
OT but amusing; the one time I attended a Christian fundamentalist church for some time (with my freshman year roommate), it was one of those very gung-ho missionary churches that was all about converting people – but, in the church itself, I don’t think I ever met anyone who was born anything other than a Christian. Saw quite a few people converting from another church to theirs, but I never met a single person who could honestly claim the church had “led him to Jesus.” Their missionary shit doesn’t seem to be nearly as successful as they claim it to be.
(To be fair, their pastor did once tell us a story about how he’d converted the chief of the Saudi secret police, so that’s one Muslim down if we’re to believe him… which I don’t, however, chiefly because Christians are still getting arrested, beaten or killed by said secret police).
Glennbeck is a Mormon?
Ayup. A convert, too, I think. Which makes it worse.
He’s really into that one crazy dude who wrote that one book? I can’t be arsed to remember who it is at this point in time…
Everybody knows social democracies are hellholes that hold their productive classes in concentration camps. Where do you think they make all the cheese, HMMMM?
So they make the cheese in class? Class at camp? And if I eat a cheese called “crottin,” do I really want to hear more about its “production?”
“I showed her recent clip on Fox to a friend of mine. His reaction was similar. He couldn’t believe she was serious and thought she had to be acting.”
The one of her singing? ‘Cuz that made me suspicious. Because to me the song sounded like ironic hipster snark to me.
He’s really into that one crazy dude who wrote that one book? I can’t be arsed to remember who it is at this point in time…
Yeah–Glenn Beck was his name.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me!
Sloppy seconds = God no likey.
Glennbeck is a Mormon?
Isn’t it obvious? I mean, come ON, the guy’s gotta have an IQ lower than my waist size and…
Oh, MorMon! Well, yes. His wife forced him to convert.
“Aside from that insufferable piece of shit, House.”
I loathe all medical dramas. And not just because I’m a hypochondriac.
I am your god. I am a jealous god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me!
He walks with a cane, so he’s actually behind me.
A number representing productivity is more important to me than whether or not I can afford a can of tuna and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Now that they’ve moved operations to the state of Georgia to avoid US minimum wage rules everyone can afford tuna!
“Because to me the song sounded like ironic hipster snark to me.”
I guess I didn’t have to say ‘to me’ twice.
Yeah–Glenn Beck was his name.
Heh. Okay, the guy that’s second on his list of people he’s into…Cleon Skousen.
“He’s really into that one crazy dude who wrote that one book? ”
You’ll have to be more specific.
STOP MAKING FUN OF LISA EDELSTEIN
you are ragging on the future Ma Ubu, as soon as I can figure out how to win her heart, preferably through a devious plan involving adorable doggies and an unfortunate yoga-related accident.
I am your god. I am a jealous god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me!
I do have a triune God, of course: House is the Father, Perry Cox from Scrubs is the Son, and Sherlock Holmes is the Holy Spirit.
Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. I worship at their feetses.
as soon as I can figure out how to win her heart
Her boyfriend’s a Finn. Winning her heart is the easy part, but don’t try to take her body. We Finns are tough bastards.
Cleon Skousen.
Yikes. Beck is even headlined in his wiki entry. Good lookin’ fella, on the other hand.
Holy sweet fucking Cthuga on a fireproof stick, that Skousen is one squirrely fucker.
Skousen used Birch Society magazines as source and reference material,[3] and was pictured on the cover of its magazine, American Interest. Although he was never officially a member of the organization, he was a member of its speakers’ bureau and lectured at John Birch Society events throughout the United States for many years. A 1962 FBI memo described Skousen as affiliating with an “extreme right-wing” group which was promoting “anticommunisum for obvious financial purposes”[6] Skousen authored a pamphlet titled The Communist Attack on the John Birch Society, characterizing criticism of the Society as incipient communism.
AND he, as required for all Church elders, looked about 10,000 years old. (it’s a requirement, really!)
I guess I didn’t have to say ‘to me’ twice.
Ironic.
Perry Cox from Scrubs is the Son
Dr. Cox is the top of my triumvirate. I fall short of the glory, however. Every time I try to unleash one of those masterful rants, I either start laughing or forget the words. Hence my interweb snarking habit. There’s no backspace button on my pukehole. At least I can’t find one.
The whole idea behind* Moronism is preposterous. Native Americans = Israelites, Jesus = American…
Actually, it’s perfect for Glenn Beck and his Padded Room Dwellers.
I guess I didn’t have to say ‘to me’ twice.
**brokeass Austro-English**
It’s NOT a to me!
that Skousen is one squirrely fucker.
In-fucking-deed. Now you know where Beck gets it.
BTW, the library needs to have the outlets on top of their tables labeled: “PLUG YOUR COMPUTER IN HERE, FUCKTARD” so that idiots like me don’t spend a minute scrabbling around in a dress trying to to find an outlet under the table.
Apparently I’m posting comments too quic…D’OH!
I prefer the Janitor, personally, though Perry’s a close second.
Winning her heart is the easy part, but don’t try to take her body. We Finns are tough bastards.
OH FUCK I’M COMPETING AGAINST SOMEONE WHO EATS ROTTEN HERRING WILLINGLY.
god I’m so fucked.
Every time I try to unleash one of those masterful rants, I either start laughing or forget the words
Keep pedalling that Big Wheel, Sally, and one day you’ll make the little girl X Games.
“Ironic.”
Well, I AM a hipster. *
*not really
BTW, the library needs to have the outlets on top of their tables labeled: “PLUG YOUR COMPUTER IN HERE, FUCKTARD” so that idiots like me don’t spend a minute scrabbling around in a dress trying to to find an outlet under the table.
Secret plot revealed.
idiots like me don’t spend a minute scrabbling around in a dress
And yet you somehow think this is a fault on their part?
Well, I AM a hipster.
I’ve seen your picture. Close enough.
Well, I AM a hipster. *
Borowitz Report: Fun Game – everytime you see a hipster, picture them in 20 years. You will laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh.
Secret plot revealed.
What, for me to flash 20 second-graders accidentally? Because I think that’s what happened.
I prefer the Janitor, personally, though Perry’s a close second.
Until I discovered House, It was Cox-Janitor-Kelso.
Then I converted to the True Church Of Our Lady Of Wiseasses.
I wish I was insane like Beck and his minions. Then I wouldn’t have to spend all that money on mushrooms and meth.
Hey, have the comments finally caught up to the original post in terms of wordiness?
I keep it with your letter.
idiots like me don’t spend a minute scrabbling around in a dress
And yet you somehow think this is a fault on their part?
Well, EXCUSE the hell out of ME for having such low expectations of my public library.
god I’m so fucked.
I think you need to work on your verbs. Future tense is needed here.
Well, EXCUSE the hell out of ME for having such low expectations of my pub
lic library.FIXED!
I’ve seen your picture.
I keep it with your letter.
That will come back to you.
And what brought Sherlock Holmes into the church, if I may ask?
You have got to be fucking kidding me
“Average citizen”. Yes, that’s what they are.
“I’ve seen your picture.”
Stalker alert!
(I kid…actor and I are officially fwiends on Facebook as of this morn.)
And what brought Sherlock Holmes into the church, if I may ask?
You mean besides his condescending attitude towards Watson, Lestrade and just about everyone else except Irene Adler?
Why…nothing. Why do you ask?
Stalker alert!
I thought taking out a TRO in advance was a bit harsh, but I accept the terms it demands.
You have got to be fucking kidding me
“Average citizen”. Yes, that’s what they are.
Also, “Real Americans” who “want their country back.” Also, too.
“I thought taking out a TRO in advance was a bit harsh, but I accept the terms it demands.”
LULZ! Very reasonable and sporting of you.
And what brought Sherlock Holmes into the church, if I may ask?
Besides, it was a natural. Didn’t you notice House’s apartment number?
From the “average citizen” shit,
COMMUNISTS!!!!!!!
HOLY CANDIRU, BATMAN!
I have my doubts that the candiru really does what it’s rumored to, given that the one documented instance of a fish being surgically removed has the patient insisting that he was taking a leak in the Amazon when the fish jumped out of the river and swam up the urine stream, against the flow, and into his urethra, which would require this little fish to not only be amazingly strong but also have astounding accuracy. I think it’s much more likely that the guy got drunk and thought that maybe it would be fun to have the little fishy wiggling around inside his johnson.
Also, WRT Victoria Jackson–she just isn’t that good. She was painfully out of her league in the SNL cast that she was in. Once, the writers gave her a bit in which she pulled off a blonde wig to reveal her “real” brunette hair and started talking all serious-like about how she just couldn’t keep up the bimbo act any more; if she had nailed it, it would have been one of the great mind-fuck moments of SNL, on a par with Garry Shandling hosting the show and repeatedly breaking the fourth wall during the opening sketch, with Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman pretending to panic and being furious with him. She didn’t nail it.
and there’s conservo-drool all over its pillow.
I have my doubts that the candiru really does what it’s rumored to, given that the one documented instance of a fish being surgically removed has the patient insisting that he was taking a leak in the Amazon when the fish jumped out of the river and swam up the urine stream, against the flow, and into his urethra, which would require this little fish to not only be amazingly strong but also have astounding accuracy.
It’s a terrorist fish! Of COURSE it can do what we all imagine it can do with limited resources even tho it would be totally out of its element and trying to fight natural law!
We’re fighting for our lives here!
Eric Erikson making me soil myself, not so much. The Skids, however, that’s the shit. In a good way. And go Preds. Which is central to my point.
And what brought Sherlock Holmes into the church, if I may ask?
You mean besides his condescending attitude towards Watson, Lestrade and just about everyone else except Irene Adler?
Oh. I need to apologize to my friend whom I mock for having an obsession with House, because now I realize that Sherlock Holmes is the EXACT SAME CHARACTER. I’m such a hypocrite.
I realize that Sherlock Holmes is the EXACT SAME CHARACTER
Actually, yes. It is.
Also, WRT Victoria Jackson–she just isn’t that good. She was painfully out of her league in the SNL cast that she was in.
Completely agreed 100%. I’ve never been a fan.
Hey, some journalist on MSNBC named CATHY AREU just lambasted Sarah Palin. Called her “Larry the Cable Guy without the intelligence or class.” I wish there were clip up yet.
“and there’s conservo-drool all over its pillow.”
That’s
not
drool
CATHY AREU
Hey, she’s a babe!
Ouch
But if feels so good.
Also, “Real Americans” who “want their country back.” Also, too.
There’s nothing average going on there. In fact I would call them “special”, if it weren’t such an insult to disabled kids.
I realize that Sherlock Holmes is the EXACT SAME CHARACTER
Actually, yes. It is.
It’s fucking obvious, down to the drug addiction. I’m embarrassed I didn’t notice this before. I hardly ever watch the show (sober), but still!
I still maintain Jan Hooks is one of SNL’s best and most underrated cast members.
Transcript of Areu comment
I suspect it’s up on YouTube somewhere. This was actually from last night, it appears.
Hey, some journalist on MSNBC named CATHY AREU just lambasted Sarah Palin. Called her “Larry the Cable Guy without the intelligence or class.” I wish there were clip up yet.
Whoa–that is fucking awesome. I now worship this goddess. Cox, you’re out.
I now worship this goddess. Cox, you’re out.
heh–all manner of veiled business going on there…
I hardly ever watch the show (sober), but still!
What hooked me on the show was the one episode I saw in reruns was one where Wilson talks about one of his ex-girlfriends and mentioned her name:
Irene Adler. I had to watch. I’m too big a Sherlockian.
Still from the same article,
Isn’t that touching? These are the same people who think the First Amendment establishes Christianity as the state religion, the Second Amendment has nothing to do with the security of a free state, the Fourth and Fifth Amendments protect waterboarding and warrantless wiretapping, the Seventh Amendment doesn’t apply to people they don’t want it to apply to, the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth and Sixteenth Amendments never happened and what they propose is therefore unconstitutional, and nowhere in the Constitution is the federal government empowered to promote the general welfare.
As you can well imagine, those people are very, very concerned about constitutional issues.
Y’know, that Larry the Cable guy comparison is great on a couple of levels, including the fact that he’s not actually working class and never has been and makes most of his money duping working class people.
The sleeping giant that is the Heritage Foundation has woken up.
and there’s conservo-drool all over its pillow.
Sleeping giantess had already left on her walk of shame. Right now she’s showering in a bleach solution.
Right now she’s showering in a bleach solution.
Minus the arm she chewed off to get away.
Athankee, actor.
Yeah, that lady’s all right with me.
Sleeping giantess had already left on her walk of shame. Right now she’s showering in a bleach solution.
Poor sleeping giantess. One too many shark tank-sized tequila shots.
Found the Areu video:
Areu Palin Larry the Cable Guy
”
Y’know, that Larry the Cable guy comparison is great on a couple of levels, including the fact that he’s not actually working class and never has been and makes most of his money duping working class people.”
He’s also not Southern. He’s from Nebraska. You know, where the biggest telemarketing hub in the country is because most of the people who live there have non-regional accents.
I’ve noticed this is-ought confusion on the right for a long time, starting in the old days of Rush “the way things ought to be” Limbaugh, back when he was actually funny and not strung out on hillbilly heroin and the youth of the Dominican Republic. It’s also a strong, underlying fallacy of the “Intelligent Design” crowd (how does intelligent design explain such unintelligent aspects of creation as arse hair and wingnuts?)
Call me anti-Catholic if you must but I blame Thomas Aquinas and his “realism” and “natural law” for the conflation of moral and empirical that is at the heart of the is-ought confusion on the right.
Native Americans = Israelites
I KNEW there was a reason I liked bagels so much!
He’s also not Southern. He’s from Nebraska.
Oh, that “accent” sounds like the Universal Redneck Accent to me, which can spring up anywhere. I’ve heard Midwesterners talk like that. But he doesn’t. And he’s a douchebag.
S. cerevisiae,
My wife is Jewish (as am I): unlike me, my wife has Native American ancestry. Maybe you are an inlaw of mine?
My wife is Jewish (as am I): unlike me, my wife has Native American ancestry.
There’s a joke in here, crying to be let out.
Could be. I’m Ojibwe from MN.
And I love smoked fish as well (isn’t that what lox is?)
Pardon my ignorance, but delis are few and far between up here and would not even be worthy of the name in any decent city.
OFFS. I just ran across an essay arguing that wikis are Maoist. This hurts my head.
Oh and Sarah=Larry the Cable Guy is perfect. I wish I had thought of it.
OFFS. I just ran across an essay arguing that wikis are Maoist. This hurts my head.
Which is weird, cuz the founder is an advocate of Ayn Rand
My wife is Jewish (as am I): unlike me, my wife has Native American ancestry.
finish of old joke:
“…and that’s why I have the horrible luck to be totally impotent in bed with men – which is driving me insane – unless they’re Native American Jews.
But thank you for listening, Mr. – ?”
“Mr. Hymie Running-Bear, ma’am.”
And I love smoked fish as well (isn’t that what lox is?)
Well, it’s cured salmon that can be smoked, but isn’t necessarily. So, yeah, kind of. 🙂
I just ran across an essay arguing that wikis are Maoist.
Collectivist, mayyyybe, but Maoist?
WTF?
I tried smoking salmon once and ruined my pipe.
That was a big part of the entertainment value of Wales/Marsden. Like bananas? How about these bananas?
I impatiently await the flurry of wingnut columns which thank Ms. Areu for the compliment, and the subsequent explanation for why Larry the Cable Guy is more like a Real American than any of those darn looney libs.
With perhaps a little free advertising for the phuktard (on a stick) Jeff Dunham.
cured salmon
Cured? Why was it sick?
Which is weird, cuz the founder is an advocate of Ayn Rand
Don’t ask me to explain. The absolute hatred that a lot of academics and librarians have towards Wikipedia drives me fucking nuts.
Besides which,this guy is my favorite corporate toolbag Randite.
It’s fucking obvious, down to the drug addiction. I’m embarrassed I didn’t notice this before. I hardly ever watch the show (sober), but still!
I’m not sure it’s that obvious. Holmes never needed anybody else to help him solve the case, and he also doesn’t spend 80% of the time dead wrong.
Holmes, to make the obvious point, never thought it was lupus.
cured salmon
Cured? Why was it sick?
Don’t know, but it’s not lupus.
That was a big part of the entertainment value of Wales/Marsden. Like bananas? How about these bananas?
Wales makes my sex history look practically ascetic.
Collectivist, mayyyybe, but Maoist?
I don’t know. I’m not going to read it. It’s behind a subscription wall, otherwise I’d post it here.
Curiously, there is actual A Maoist Wiki
Don’t know, but it’s not lupus.
On the very last show, right after the death of the patient, they’ll discover that it was finally Lupus.
Cured? Why was it sick?
Pulmonary edema.
Are they basing that “Maoist wiki” nonsense on Jared Lanier?
Excuse me, JARON Lanier
Dr. Foreman: You stash your drugs in a lupus textbook?
Dr. House: It’s never lupus.
— Finding Judas (season 3, episode 9)
Are they basing that “Maoist wiki” nonsense on Jared Lanier?
Yeah, and now that I look at it (dammit, I wasn’t going to), it’s essentially the same argument as he made in an essay called, of course, “Digital Maoism.”
And now I remember talking about him in one of my classes and getting kind of pissy with another student because she was being dumb about his arguments on a variety of levels.
sooooooooooooo… um, Jaron Lanier is a Maoist?
???
. .
[
p
Well obviously the wiki experiment is a failure. I mean, who uses the Wikipedia?
I mean, who uses the Wikipedia?
Conservapedia is your friend.
OMG! Wikis really ARE Maoist!
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Conservapedia#Wiki:_the_Communist_Manifesto
sooooooooooooo… um, Jaron Lanier is a Maoist?
No, he’s a white dude with dreads who laments the collectivisation of knowledge and uses the term “Maoism” very sloppily.
For those who give a shit, the wiki comparisons here are quite helpful:
http://www.wikimatrix.org/
http://www.wikimatrix.org/
A wiki wiki?
Why, where are the mermaids?
I mean, seriously. You can’t complain about how the misuse of social media and group-generated knowledge is making us dumb when you use “Maoist” as a shorthand for collectivism in general.
And I WILL NOT get off his lawn!
“Maoist” as a shorthand for collectivism in general
Perhaps the interviewer misunderstood him. Maybe he said “mayo”.
From the link:
Mr Patterson, who founded Cerner in 1979, attributed his blunt management style to growing up on a farm in Oklahoma. He told the New York Times: “You can take the boy off the farm, but you can’t take the farm out of the boy.”
Veiled bull-wang buttplug reference?
when you use “Maoist” as a shorthand for collectivism in general
I gain many lulz from the fact that Libertarians have such a concern for all forms of Communism, while knowing – through some crazy-ass “divide by zero” type effect – not only nothing about it but actually managing to know NEGATIVE about it.
Veiled bull-wang buttplug reference?
That would explain A LOT.
Here is a libertarian called Roderick Long.
Kaus has not said whether he was involved or not.
PeeJ,
That story doesn’t tell the half of it.
MICE?!?!?!?
By the way, bestiality was only outlawed in Washington state in 2005 after a horse died.
OMFG what the fuck is wrong with people? Jesus.
Washington’s an interesting state.
Subby, did you note this:
As a left libertarian myself, I’m intrigued to see what his theories are now.
Washington’s an interesting state.
Nope. I know what’s at that link, and I ain’t clicking it.
I’ve thought up a name for the Heritage Foundation’s new c(4) org:
Tactics Winning United National Tea-partier Success
What say you?
odd that a guy in NYC knows so much about the bestiality farm in the corner of Washington state. About as far from NYC as one can get in this country. I’m not saying anything, I’m just sayin.
Washington’s an interesting state.
The trouble with reading news accounts…as opposed to a factual site like Wikipedia…is that you have to infer a lot when things get gruesome.
I assumed the horse died because the Statesman said “a fatality in a horse sexing occurrence,” which sort of makes you think the horse died, being the passive partner (or catcher).
So, um, ewwwwwww?
Nope. I know what’s at that link, and I ain’t clicking it.
You’re lucky.
I clicked.
YIK.
odd that a guy in NYC knows so much about the bestiality farm in the corner of Washington state.
Apparently not enough. I got the event ass-backwards.
How about:
Taking
America
Into a
New
Tomorrow
?
I know better than to click.
MICE?!?!?!?
For when you can’t find a hamster, I suppose.
Think “habitrailing.”
Tactics Winning United National Tea-partier Success
Make it a co-party with Democratic Urban Mega-Businessmen and you’ve got a deal.
They can be proud D.U.M.B./T.W.U.N.T.S.!
You’re lucky.
I clicked.
YIK
The worst part? I think there’s video of it floating around somewhere…*shiver*
The horse was called Kenneth and was an engineer at Boeing.
I did, and I saw that he was at the Mises institute and a Rand journal editor and figured he was too kooky to bother with. Seems to write lucidly enough in the shorter entries.
I got the event ass-backwards.
So did Mr. Pinyan.
*snurrf snurrf snurrf*
Dude, I just got back from the Earth Mother Collective Pre-Earth-Day Compost Giveaway, and my VW van is loaded up with hemp bags filled with primo soil. They had an amazing concert too, with Joan Baez opening for Rage Against the Machine featuring Pete Seeger, who performed “This Machine Kills Fascists in the Name”, it was super great. But I gotta tell you, Ed Feulner had no role in the whole thing — that’s what was remarkable about the Pre-Earth-Day Compost Giveaway and Bake Sale, man, it organized itself.
dammit confused him with Woody Guthrie; song would have been something like “Surrounding and Forcing to Surrender in the Name” or whatever screw it
This is supposed to be a pretty good documentary about the death but I haven’t seen it myself.
That horse thing is pretty much the most disturbing thing I’ve ever heard about besides this thing involving two dudes and consensual cannibalism. You can look up that shit on your own, but I don’t recommend it.
odd that a guy in NYC knows so much about the bestiality farm in the corner of Washington state. About as far from NYC as one can get in this country.
Brendan Behan said something along the lines of NYC being the place in the world where you were least likely to be bit by a wild pig. HOW DID HE KNOW?
this thing involving two dudes and consensual cannibalism.
Zombi-curious?
Orly news:
Clearly the judge is corrupt.
Orly news
If only there were real-life RSS.
Zombi-curious?
Heh. All those zombie stereotypes and co-opting of zombie identity must be frustrating for real zombies. Not to mention getting romantically involved with breathers who are just “experimenting” and go running back to live people once things get serious.
Zombi-curious?
Depending on preparation, maybe barbecurious.
From the Wikipedia entry on Pinyan:
His security clearance would have been fine if he’d taken up with a red-blooded, freedom-loving mustang instead of an Islamofascist Arabian.
the deceased, concerned about… the effect on his security clearance
Now, I don’t condone non-consensual horse-fucking, but really? Wanting to do a horse makes you untrustworthy?
A federal judge has dismissed a Washington lawsuit by “birther” activist Orly Taitz challenging President Barack Obama’s citizenship.
Do you think newpapers are starting to keep an article saying that on file, like they do with celebrity obituaries?
’cause this shiznit’s gettin’ predictubobble.
Also, that was funny.
I think there’s video of it floating around somewhere
LALALALALALA I can’t hear you happy place happy place
Oh come on, if you see someone about to get hit in the crotch YOU KNOW you want to see the follow-through.
barbecurious
Stealing this, and re-using it until the heat-death of the universe.
Things Mr. Goatse appears better prepared for than a Boeing engineer:
Yes, there is video and I have seen it. I did not see the whole thing, could not have watched the whole thing, believe it is physically and psychically impossible for a human to watch the whole thing. .
Christ, what an asshole…extended: http://www.robertsinclair.net/comic/asshole.html
Yes, there is video and I have seen it. I did not see the whole thing, could not have watched the whole thing, believe it is physically and psychically impossible for a human to watch the whole thing. .
Again, WTF is wrong with people? I mean, nobody stopped and thought a) “This is probably dangerous,” and b) “What the FUCK is wrong with us? We should get therapy!”?
Wanting to do a horse makes you untrustworthy?
They’re worried about Hotta Mare-y.
Therapy works wonders, especially on sexual desires you want to get rid of.
Therapy works wonders, especially on sexual desires you want to get rid of.
Yeah, I mean, look at all those priests who got therapy for pedophilia…
N__B, do we need to fire up the wayback machine?
N__B, do we need to fire up the wayback machine?
Probably. I haven’t slept for about two weeks and I’m running on one cylinder.
7 Whatever that word actually means
Back when I was home-brewing, I used to make a ‘Juggernaut’ stout, where the picture on the label was an astronaut hoisting a jug.
This should not be confused with my “Stalin Stout” (a purge in every pint!).
Wanting to do a horse makes you untrustworthy?
Serious answer for a sec: makes you subject to blackmail (blackmare?). Back in the day when I had a security clearance they made sure to point out how it was a bad idea to be doing drugs or cheating on your spouse etc. for just that reason.
OK, carry on with the horses-and-Washington jokes.
OK, carry on with the horses-and-Washington jokes.
What color was the white horse George Washington fucked?
Scotsman walks into his bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says, “Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.”
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, “If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, Not a cow.”
The guy replies, “If you weren’t such a presumptuous bitch, You’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”
this thing involving two dudes and consensual cannibalism.
Christianity?
Serious answer for a sec: makes you subject to blackmail (blackmare?). Back in the day when I had a security clearance they made sure to point out how it was a bad idea to be doing drugs or cheating on your spouse etc. for just that reason.
That occurred to me after I posted it. Makes sense.
Should I be scared because some “by my bootstraps” millionaire complains about his taxes without acknowledging the day-in-and-out assistance of the Government; Federal, State, County and City all assist Small Businesses in dozens of ways.
Don’t tell ME, I know. I have friends who’ve worked for the SBA a long time. Her/His main criticism? The Gov helps Big Business too much (BB sets up fake ‘small’ businesses to take advantage of Government aid. Often these ‘small’ businesses are fronted by minority women. Truth.)
It would take 180 mg. of Ritalin for me to read this post. My loss. Was it Gavin that wrote that brilliantly funny description of the economic collapse of the South? I’d read it again, but it would take 120 mg. to pin myself down for a search right now.
http://www.mydesert.com/article/20100415/NEWS01/4150306/Tea-Party-headliner-Orly-Taitz-cancels
“According to The Los Angeles Times, organizers of a similar Tea Party rally being held today in Pleasanton rescinded their invitation to Taitz after “getting calls from candidates like crazy” and she became “too controversial.”
“She has some amazing ideas for California, other than the birther thing people have labeled her with. If people would recall, people were championing her. Then the liberals came in and labeled her.”
GODDAMNED Laberalfascists and their fascist labeling tacticts.
Oh come on, if you see someone about to get hit in the crotch YOU KNOW you want to see the follow-through.
Subby McGangstah is the target audience for “Ow My Balls!”
Probably. I haven’t slept for about two weeks and I’m running on one cylinder.
Alcohol/ drugs/ dildo joke to be made at N__B’s expense.
If I had to run on one cylinder, I do it like this.
Orly Taitz was doing so well, and people liked her so much, before it became inescapably obvious that she was one thorazine away from IMPEACH OBAMA TWELVE GALAXIES GUILTIED TO A ZEGNATRONIC ROCKET SOCIETY. I blame the liberals, or more accurately, “facts” (which have a well-documented liberal bias).
If I had to run on one cylinder, I do it like this.
Hm, I was thinking more of this.
I realize that Sherlock Holmes is the EXACT SAME CHARACTER
Here at Maison d’Etre, the Doktorling is the main fan of House (and Holmes). I asked her what was so appealing about drug-addled smart-arse know-it-alls, but she would only say that she was “working through her electoral issues”, which frankly made no sense at all.
When Obama nukes Iran, or gives Israel the OK for it, the wingnuts will come out and say Obama’s a big pussy who should have nuked a few more million dark skinned folks.
You’ll respond by saying no, Obama’s not a big pussy. He’s a really smart man with a good heart in a tough situation, and gosh darn it, he had no choice. Did the best he could.
In the end there will be another few million dead, but you won’t have to feel bad about it. The feel bad time will come for you when the other right wing party is in power again.
If you really want to make yourself cum, you’ll have to post harder and faster about how superior you are to everyone else.
Brendan Behan said something along the lines of NYC being the place in the world where you were least likely to be bit by a wild pig. HOW DID HE KNOW?
Clearly, he’s never picked up a hooker on Third Avenue in Brooklyn.
I asked her what was so appealing about drug-addled smart-arse know-it-alls
My ex was the person who first recommended the show to me, and I asked her practically the same question.
She just smiled at me…