May
19

Ideas To Save The Republican Party




Posted at 21:42 by Gavin M.

‘Snarkandboobs,’ RedState:
Pry my Burger and Fries Out of My Cold Dead Hands

  • Indeed, the FDA sending a letter to a cereal manufacturer1 is the Kristallnacht of a total clampdown on all human activity by Nazi buzzsaw robots with boiling lava cannons,2 but I got one that’ll really steam people’s corndogs: The average life expectancy in America is too high, blar-har-har.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

 

Notes:

1 Cf.

2 Cf.

This week’s General Mills™ Conservative Spirit Award goes to Edward Dalere or D. Alereed at Free Republic:

To: Ultra Sonic 007

Does anyone ever read those stupid lables on food?

103 posted on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 1:16:40 PM by dalereed

District Attorney LeReed may pick up his award by calling our acting compliance officer, Ms. Aïda Bolladix, at extension 1337.

264 Comments »

  1. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:46

    At the risk of being totally sexist, I have better meat for her mouth.

  2. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:48

    I don’t want to click until someone assures the the content is nut free.

  3. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:49

    RB,

    It ain’t.

    Really. And as a bonus, it’s, like, totally written in, like, some bizarre, OHMIGAWD!, mix of Valleyspeak and Millenial.

    Fer sherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

  4. Woodrowfan said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:50

    To answer the freeper, yes, I do. I check fat and sodium content. And no, I’m NOT a vegetarian, but i do watch what i eat.

    Freepers really ARE total narcissists aren’t they? If they don’t do it, they assume that no one else does either…

  5. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:51

    Today is Write Like Shit Day! Join me, want you?

  6. fish said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:58

    Must be a whole lotta boobs to counterbalance the fact that there isn’t a whole lotta snark.

  7. tigrismus said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:59

    Jesus, who names themselves Snarkboobs? “VALIDATE MEEEEEE!” Next step: drunken crying bikini vlogging.

  8. tenshun said,

    May 19, 2009 at 21:59

    RB: Breitblart is busy bothering some orphans and widows today, so you’re gonna be short-handed.

  9. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:00

    Next step: drunken crying bikini vlogging

    Pam Atlass is vlogging again?

  10. D.N. Nation said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:07

    Does anyone ever read those stupid lables on food?

    Um, yes? Like millions of Americans do?

  11. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:08

    Now, Snarky(NotPerky)Boobs makes one decent point worth discussing:

    If people retire at 65 (or 62, as she seems to think, but I digress…) and collect Social Security, *and* life expectancy continues to climb alarmingly rapidly (thanks in no small part to those of us who, you know, DON’T eat transfats) then there is added strain on the Social Security system, particularly if there’s a significant nexus of rightwing boobs like Snarky here who live to 85, chewing HoHos (hey, she said it, not me!).

    So there’s good sound medical reason for raising the retirement age, which has the added bonus of allowing people to accumulate more money in their private retirement funds so they won’t have to rely so heavily on SSI or Medicare when they do retire.

  12. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:09

    Average life expectancy in America is too high, blar-har-har.

    I believe there is a way to volunteer to help solve this problem. Moreover, the sooner the remedy is put to use the greater the effect on the statistics.

  13. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:10

    Average life expectancy in America is too high, blar-har-har.

    I believe there is a way to volunteer to help solve this problem.

    Hey! And she can do it in a way that serves her country, too! She can volunteer for Iraq!

  14. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:14

    Next step: drunken crying bikini vlogging

    Pam Atlass is vlogging again?

    Okay, go and steal my comment, you bastidge. Just see if I invite you along when I go Galt.

  15. HTML Mencken said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:15

    SOMEBODY needs a giant sammich!

  16. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:17

    This post, and a headline on MSNBC.com:

    Mega-shrew shot venom through red teeth

    Coincidence? I think not.

  17. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:17

    SOMEBODY needs a giant sammich!

    It’d probably be tastier than the others too, god damn her.

  18. Michael G said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:21

    Indeed, the FDA sending a letter to a cereal manufacturer1 is the Kristallnacht of a total clampdown on all human activity by Nazi buzzsaw robots with boiling lava cannons

    I would totally play that video game! Do I get to operate said robots, or do I play a Freeper defending General Mills from them?

  19. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:27

    First they came for the Cheerios, but I eat Wheaties so I said nothing. . . . and so on.

  20. That Girl said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:32

    Just more evidence that Republicans have no business making policy.

    Also, I’m trying to figure out her style. Is it supposed to be ironic? Funny? Because she sounds like my high school aged cousin. Except less mature.

  21. Matt T. said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:35

    Jesus, who names themselves Snarkboobs?

    Great leaping cast-iron skillets, that’s her actual handle. I thought y’all were just being assholes about a second-rate Pam Atlas.*

    * And she’s fourth rate.

  22. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:38

    Also, I’m trying to figure out her style.

    Think “Victoria Jackson” only with less credibility.

  23. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:39

    I think her point is that the Food and Drug Administration has no business regulating food and drugs or something. What next, The EPA enforcing environmental laws? That’s crazy talk!

  24. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:40

    SOMEBODY needs a giant sammich!

    Just make sure she’s holding it in a lascivious manner.

    Is this a new fetish? Dare I google “giant sammich pr0n?

  25. Michael G said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:41

    Who will defend these multibillion dollar corporation? Who will look out for General Mills? For the hedge funds?

    Lobbyists you say? Huh. Yeah, I guess they will look out for their respective industries.

  26. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:42

    Is this a new fetish? Dare I google “giant sammich pr0n?

    There are no new fetishes, at least not for long. See Rule 34.

  27. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:46

    There are no new fetishes, at least not for long. See Rule 34.

    I suspected this. A few months ago, a friend of mine opined that Chewbacca was the perfect man (great hair, in touch with his feelings, handy). I told her that there had to be Wookie fetishists out there. To her dismay, she looked it up. I had warned her, but she didn’t believe me.

    Now, back on topic, does snarknboobs realize what her greasy prescription would do to the GOP demographically?

  28. Till said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:47

    Is this a new fetish? Dare I google “giant sammich pr0n?

    Hot man-on-sammich action was featured on The Daily Show just a few weeks ago. It’s practically mainstream by now.

  29. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:47

    Snarkboobs make that “Awooga!” sound when you squeeze them.

    I had to check the spelling of awooga. If only George Will spent half the time researching his columns as I do researching my snark . . . something, something.
    look a citation even.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=awooga&defid=627268

  30. tigrismus said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:48

    Giant sammich for tauntsandteats: Monte Cristo.

  31. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:53

    Snarkboobs make that “Awooga!” sound when you squeeze them.

    Somehow, I imagine they’re more the “whoopee cushion” type…

  32. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:58

    Dare I google “giant sammich pr0n?
    Is this a new fetish? Judges?

    http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/omnivore/2009/03/10/sandwich-porn/
    http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/scanner/archive/tags/sandwich+porn/default.aspx

  33. OneMadClown said,

    May 19, 2009 at 22:59

    Can’t click through at work, as the filters consider RedState a hate site or some such…so, the gist of the wingnut argument is that we shouldn’t allow the government to put a stop to false advertising re: food?

    In that case, I wonder if Snarkboobs would be interested in trying new Sadly, Sammich! brand microwave sandwiches. Each 18 inch, 6 lb. Sadly, Sammich! brand microwave sandwich is jam-packed with Spam, slab bacon, fatback, Funyuns, Cheez Whiz, French’s Yellow Mustard, Miracle Whip, Crisco, and mini-Snickers bars, all gently cradled in our Mrs. Butterworth’s-impregnated white bread roll, then dipped in beef tallow and fried golden brown and sprinkled with Lucky Charms. Our studies show that a diet rich in Sadly, Sammich!’s will lower your cholesterol by 40-80 points, increase lean muscle, burn unsightly ass fat, make your boobs bigger, provide natural male enhancement, kill bad breath germs, convince your boss you deserve that promotion, prevent unwanted pregnancy, promote wanted pregnancy, and make Jesus like you more.

  34. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:01

    Always spelled it “Ah-Oo-Gah” myself.

  35. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:01

    Site search for Amber Pawlik is in order. Stole some of her work for JanusNode.

  36. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:03

    OneMadClown:

    I’ll take two to go. Could I get Best Foods in place of Miracle whip, though? It’s got twicw the fat!

  37. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:04

    Each 18 inch, 6 lb. Sadly, Sammich! brand microwave sandwich is jam-packed with Spam, slab bacon, fatback, Funyuns, Cheez Whiz, French’s Yellow Mustard, Miracle Whip, Crisco, and mini-Snickers bars, all gently cradled in our Mrs. Butterworth’s-impregnated white bread roll, then dipped in beef tallow and fried golden brown and sprinkled with Lucky Charms.

    I could hear my arteries slamming shut like the doors at Cheynne Mountain just from reading that.

  38. OneMadClown said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:05

    Certainly, Your Holiness. For the Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge, we could even do a nice lard & garlic schmear.

  39. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:07

    It just hit me: did she actually make the case for deep-fried Coke?

    OhmyfuckingGod, what is WRONG with these people????

  40. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:08

    Certainly, Your Holiness. For the Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge, we could even do a nice lard & garlic schmear.

    Heavy on the 30 weight!

  41. fish said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:10

    I believe there is a way to volunteer to help solve this problem.

    OH MY GOD!!! SOLYENT GREEN IS SNARKANDBOOBS!!!!

  42. OneMadClown said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:10

    I could hear my arteries slamming shut like the doors at Cheynne Mountain just from reading that.

    Our Sadly, Sammich!’s are Wholesome and Hearty for Hardy Heartland Heroes, I assure you. Our studies* prove it.

    *Conducted by Dr. Gary Ruppert, of the Hardy Heartland Hero Institute and Funyun Research Center.

  43. Major Kong said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:12

    Always spelled it “Ah-Oo-Gah” myself.

    Since I have a mind full of worthless trivia – that’s the sound of a Ford Model T horn.

  44. tigrismus said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:12

    Digsanddugs? Mocksandmammilla? Chaffsandchest? Ribsandracks?

  45. Tommmcatt said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:15

    Perhaps Republicans would do better in polls if they tracked opinions per square inch instead of per person.

  46. actor212 said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:16

    Digsanddugs? Mocksandmammilla? Chaffsandchest? Ribsandracks?

    Or we could call a spade a spade: TitsAndAss.

  47. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:18

    [Homer Simpson] Mmmmm…Lard and Garlic! [/Homer Simpson]

  48. g said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:18

    What? Is it the jack-booted tyranny of the food pyramid? Will we be forced to eat legumes and cruciferous vegetables (Brussel sprouts) at gunpoint?

  49. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:19

    Dr. Gary Ruppert, of the Hardy Heartland Hero Institute and Funyun Research Center

    Is that the same Dr. Ruppert who was in the news the other day as what the EMTs in the trauma center called “the only case we’ve ever seen of a man being strangled to death by his own blood vessels”?

  50. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:19

    cruciferous vegetables

    Jesus food?

  51. cowalker said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:22

    Or try some of Unhealthy Choice’s Microwaveable Frozen Pot Pies for Discriminating Wingnuts. Cheetos swimming in a rich gravy of lard packaged in plastic bowls under a layer of heat-conducting aluminum topped with many colorful layers of paper. But don’t expect to read any of that information on a stupid label.

  52. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:24

    Truth is stranger than fiction.

  53. eidos said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:34

    Speaking of right wing boobs, I dare you to check out today’s Day by Day cartoon.

  54. tigrismus said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:40

    I don’t know which is worse, Amber’s “recipes” or Muir’s “comic.” Both are assaults on all that is good, pure, and sane in this world.

  55. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:41

    Speaking of right wing boobs, I dare you to check out today’s Day by Day cartoon.

    Nu-huh, nu-huh, nawp naw gonna, nope, you cain’t make me you cain’t make me (said in a Goofy-type voice)

  56. Djur said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:43

    That sandwich recipe reminds me of the Good Morning Burger (search for it within the page! also: “farm-fresh honey”).

  57. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:45

    They can have my steak tartare, greasy lard, high-fructose corn syrup, artificial flavors & colors & other American food groups when they Roto-Rooter them out of my cold, dead arteries.

  58. gocart mozart said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:45

    Oh-mieffengod its wingnutiporn for people who like a little cartoon nudity with their right-wing propaganda. Tis true, their IS a fetish for everything.

    http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/

  59. SomeNYGuy said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:46

    Ribsandracks?

    That ain’t wingnut; that’s barbecue.

  60. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:50

    I think her point is that the Food and Drug Administration has no business regulating food and drugs or something. What next, The EPA enforcing environmental laws? That’s crazy talk!

    It’s a slippery slope to FEMA managing emergencies.

  61. I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:51

    It’s got to the point where I can’t even understand the shorters anymore.

  62. M. Bouffant said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:52

    Speaking of Boob-American bloggers w/ ideas to save the Party.

    And yes, boys, we know you’d “hit it,” but in this case “it” might whack you back, so just shut up, that’s why!!

  63. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:52

    Oh-mieffengod its wingnutiporn for people who like a little cartoon nudity with their right-wing propaganda

    You’re just picking up on this fact?

    It’s “Apartment 3-G meets Mallard Fillmore”. And all the crazy wild times that implies.

  64. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 19, 2009 at 23:56

    K-Lo dreamed an idea for a movie review in the middle of the night, woke up, and scribbled it on the back of a Three Musketeers wrapper. Then in the morning, instead of looking at it and saying “what the fuck is this?”, she published it.

  65. Djur said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:00

    Pere Ubu: Uh, are you implying that Apartment 3-G is some sort of erotic fleshpot? Mary Worth gets nasty more often than those ladies.

    No, Day By Day is modern Judge Parker meets Mallard Fillmore.

  66. HTML Mencken said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:01

    K-Lo wouldn’t tear up so many heels waddling from cathedral to cathedral if she’d lay off the giant sammiches.

    I know, I know. But everyone was thinking it! Besides, replace “cathedral” with “tent revivals,” “heels” with “flip-flops,” and “K-Lo” with “Gary Ruppert,” and the statement remains the… well, the gospel truth.

  67. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:07

    Uh, are you implying that Apartment 3-G is some sort of erotic fleshpot?

    I dunno, Teh Maggee could come by my place any day (if she didn’t mind the occasional cry of “MORE ZIPPERS, MULE!”)

    No, Day By Day is modern Judge Parker meets Mallard Fillmore.

    I’m just trying to imagine Judge Parker with worse art, and yep, Muir’s pretty much all that, as the kids say.

  68. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:08

    K-Lo dreamed an idea for a movie review in the middle of the night, woke up, and scribbled it on the back of a Three Musketeers wrapper. Then in the morning, instead of looking at it and saying “what the fuck is this?”, she published it.

    “Like flaming globes, Zigmond! Like flaming globes!”

  69. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:12

    Sammich recipe needs more black pudding. I refuse to buy any takeaway fastfoods that do not offer ‘deep-fried scab’ among the list of optional ingredients.

  70. gocart mozart said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:19

    Conservative with political/sexual obsessions of course are nothing new.

    http://www.skepticfiles.org/xhate/homo1000.htm

  71. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:20

    Insisting food be EDIBLE? elitists. You make me sick.

    But I agree with Clyde. Black pud doesn’t get enough love. Stick it in a bap with a runny fried egg, Add a sausage or two, slather in brown sauce. Any burger van or greasy spoon that can’t do that for you isn’t worth a damn.

  72. tigrismus said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:21

    Some style-focused women choose to teeter precariously in every European city, cobbles or no. Of course, most European women don’t have to buy heels fashioned by Paul Bunyan.

  73. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:35

    Stick [black pudding] in a bap with a runny fried egg, Add a sausage or two, slather in brown sauce.

    Add the chili sauce, coffee and beer, and you have “Diet secrets of Northern Europe”.
    In other news, I’ve just had the results back from some blood tests, and apparently my LDL-cholesterol level is so low as to be barely perceptible. I credit this to my healthy life-style.

  74. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:42

    the damage Rome will do to Jimmy Choos – well, or Nine West.

    Or in K-Lo’s case, those cute lime green Crocs.

  75. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:45

    From the comments over there: “Again, this just illustrates the point that Hollywood’s “international citizens” know little about the real world. “

    Hollywood fantasy movie makers are unrealistic – but it’s only because they’re LIE-bruls!! Not because Christian Louboutin is paying up product placement bucks.

  76. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 0:56

    According to the FDA, Cheerios claim to “lower your cholesterol by 4% over 6 weeks” cannot be backed up by scientific studies and therefore is misleading consumers.

    um, WTF?

    THAT’S what SnotnBurps is all worked up about? OMFG the FDA sent a notice to the cereal people and NOW IT’S ARMAGEDDON!!!

    oy. Overreact much, there, chippie?

  77. tigrismus said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:04

    The FDA cracking down on false advertising means soon Americans won’t be allowed to eat batter-dipped, deep fat fried sticks of butter and THAT’S JUST WRONG.

  78. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:04

    So it isn’t even about nutrition, it is a simple case of false advertising?

    I suppose the mere idea of being forced to support your claims with evidence is enough to frighten a right wing pundit.

  79. pedestrian said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:08

    I’m more worried about the damage that K-Lo’s heels did to Rome.

  80. El Cid said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:11

    Cheerios are the Grape Nuts of librul fatcysm.

  81. gocart mozart said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:17

    “I suppose the mere idea of being forced to support your claims with evidence is enough to frighten a right wing pundit.”

    Evidence to wingnuts is like sunlight to vampires. So yes, they see it as a death threat and rightly so because a wingnut cannot long survive in the presence of evidence.

  82. tigrismus said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:20

    Well, “false advertising” was me oversimplifying. Specifically the FDA is accusing General Mills of marketing Cheerios as a drug and making unauthorized health claims.

  83. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:20

    The librul food police have been destroying America’s freedom since they forced the makers of Moxie to drop the assertions that their product prevented softening of the brain and loss of manhood.

    I also applaud the championing of black pudding I see on this site. I am chagrined that it’s almost impossible to find sanguinoccio here in the states, but I can easily get morcilla, and kishka, as well as a trad Irish black pudding.

  84. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:27

    They went too far when they banned making cough syrup entirely out of gin, opium, and sugar.

    Bring back the patent tonics! Hey, its an affordable healthcare solution.

  85. El Cid said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:29

    A classic SnarkandBoobs post:

    To President Bush, With Love

    There is much about the spectacle today that made me angry, disgusted, embarrassed, sometimes amused but I can’t even wrap my brain (or what passes for some semblance of a brain) around it all right now. I, instead, can only focus on the depth of my gratitude to President George W. Bush.

    I wish I could have been there to bid him farewell as he boarded Air Force One for the last time. Since I could not, I have to make do with my own personal tribute in words.

    Dear Sir…..you never wavered. You never balked. In the face of circumstances far beyond any that any other man holding your office has ever faced……you stood firm. In the face of constant criticism, vitriolic criticism a lot of the time from the very same people who are now in the throes of frenzied, mindless euphoria over a man who has no real accomplishments of which to speak, you still remained ever vigilant.

    I may not have agreed with you always…..you may, in fact, have been wrong sometimes; History will be the judge of that. But of one thing I am most certain….You always, always did what you thought was right for our Country. And you kept us safe. For over 7 years, you and your steadfast protection has kept our soil free from attack.

    There’s always that fucking gimme for the first year, like “I kept the roads safe from my drunk driving except for that first year where I took out the minivan of nuns and crippled kids but only because I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

  86. El Cid said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:31

    That was from January 20th, 2009 by the way, when the government was stolen from the TruAmerican People and handed to the Kenyan usurper with no birth certificate who immediately surrendered to Osama bin Laden and San Francisco.

  87. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:37

    “Snark and Manboobs” could be the handle of just about any male wingnut.

  88. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:41

    In the face of constant criticism, vitriolic criticism

    Thank goodness there isn’t any of THAT around now.

    frenzied, mindless euphoria over a man who has no real accomplishments of which to speak

    microseconds separate the pot from the kettle.

  89. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:45

    God, is there nothing the GOP can do right?

    Obama card expires January 2012

    they can’t even do jokes right.

  90. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:51

    Obama card expires January 2012

    Sounds like a veiled threat. Maybe the CIA should waterboard every registered Republican in the country to ascertain the nature of the plot to terminate President Obama’s term.

  91. Marco said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:54

    From the party who wants to keep militia groups guarding the border between Kraft Foods and the rest of the nation over their President using Grey Poupon.

    These people… yikes.

    Busty Sinclair, or whatever her name may be, is completely wrong, as is to be expected of course. We want them to keep enjoying their guns and hoagies as much as humanly possible as long as they point both away from the rest of America.

    It’s like that whole “Sarah Palin scares liberals to death” fantasy they still hold on to. Let’s keep letting them believe it’s true.

    Yes, we want to take your fatty foods away so you better super-size everything from now till election day 2012.

  92. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:54

    the FDA is accusing General Mills of marketing Cheerios as a drug

    Well, keyyy-rist, eating a breakfast with Cheerios is not exactly a dose of Lipitor™(atorvastatin calcium), but is indeed a lot better for you from a cholesterol perspective than the Grand Slam Breakfast at Denny’s every fucking morning.

    So Genital Mills (ouch!) oversells the point, the FDA steps in to tap them on the shoulder and suggest that maaaaayyyybe they’re exaggerating a bit, and Snot’n'Booze goes all ballistic ’cause the EVIL FEDS are gonna take away her right to mainline Durham’s Pure Leaf Lard or something.

  93. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 1:54

    God, is there nothing the GOP can do right? Obama card expires January 2012

    Happens on our side too – on this very site I was yelled at by an irate drunk because I claimed Clinton’s presidency had extended a few weeks into the 21st century. Drunk said I was an idiot for thinking the 21st century started in 2000.

    I think the edge the pubbies have is they can do stupidity sober.

  94. M. Bouffant said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:03

    Xecky, that’s the old “centuries start in ’01, not ’00, cause there was no Yr. Zero” or some crap. Technically, he may have been right.

    There’s no disputing they should have put 2013 on their stupid card. Political “professionals,” at that. (Though I’d bet they had to have a home-schooled intern do the graphics work.)

  95. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:09

    Technically, he may have been right.

    He was totally right that the 21st century didn’t start in 2000. He was just wrong in thinking I’d said that.

  96. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:10

    (Clinton’s term ended 1/20/01)

  97. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:15

    OT, but hilarious. These people are advertising on the Urban Dictionary site.

  98. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:17

    they should have put 2013 on their stupid card

    A Stupid card? I have one of those. It gets me a discount when I buy the local newspaper.

  99. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:21

    Well, hrrumph hrumm, the “expiration date January 2012″ can’t possibly be as big a gaffe as “57 states” or “FDR and television.”

    Seeing as how the GOP gag had to be graphic-designed, copy-written, proofread and approved, while Obama and Biden were just speaking off the cuff…..

  100. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:24

    But is this what you really want?

    Why, no I don’t really want to be gay-married. But if someone else would enjoy it, feel free.

    What, is their acronym NYMFO?

  101. alec said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:34

    It’s like that whole “Sarah Palin scares liberals to death” fantasy they still hold on to. Let’s keep letting them believe it’s true.

    Movement conservatism is driven by a weird inferiority complex, and one of its primary sacraments is pissing off the imaginary liberal in your head. Even by imaginary-liberal standards Palin is pretty thin gruel – an odious thief, a stupid, vacuous woman who pretends to be an actor in Fargo because she thinks you’re too dense to get her otherwise, and one of that most loathsome and unsympathetic species of media scene creature which owes its career to but obsesses over slights from a gossipy, superficial media.

    I think part of it is the promotion of self-promoting jackasses like Limbaugh from shit-stirring idiot to big man on campus; to bring up the last national embarassment to the State of Maryland again, Spiro Agnew was at least a decent hatchet-man even if the primary motivation in keeping him around was Fnar-Har Look At The Straw Hippie Cry. Palin is the intersection of a Republican elite cohort that has fully internalized Strauss, a Republican apparatchiky cohort that considers public office and Prom Court identical pursuits, and a Republican base trained to wait for the Klan to go mainstream before committing to anything.

  102. henry lewis said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:37

    Maybe I could sow some confusion over at Redstate by telling them the reason we’re living longer is from all the preservatives.

  103. g said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:39

    a Republican apparatchiky cohort that considers public office and Prom Court identical pursuits

    Just the revelation that Palin thought to become allies with Hillary shows the depth of her understanding and devotion to public policy.

  104. jim said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:40

    Obama card expires January 2012

    Web marketing consultant: $2,000
    Graphic design firm: $600
    Prepaid banner space for 3 months: $1,200
    Fucking up the punchline: Priceless

  105. Dr. Merkwuerdigichliebe said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:47

    Ze party can be saved quite nicely iff ve merely relocate to ze lard mines. Zere ve can replenish our arterial fortifications. ‘

  106. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    May 20, 2009 at 2:59

    OT – Looks like Chris Muir is getting ready to show some nipple and pubic hair.

    A-OOO-Ga!

  107. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:03

    henry lewis said,
    May 20, 2009 at 2:37

    Maybe I could sow some confusion over at Redstate by telling them the reason we’re living longer is from all the preservatives.

    You think you’re kidding, but starting in 1949, when BHA and BHT were first put in bread, stomach cancer fell by 50% within a few years. People always tell this story as if lung cancer suddenly doubled to take over the number-one spot, but that’s not what happened at all.

  108. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:11

    Am I the only one who didn’t know there are flocks of wild parrots all over the country? Los Angeles, San Francisco, many cities in Florida, even cold places like Chicago, New York, and Connecticut. Like, seriously.

    (Read that first line in a Monty Python voice.)

  109. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:22

    flocks of wild parrots

    One of the most beautiful movies you may ever see (or Netflix DVD’s, whichever comes first) is the Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill.

    It’ll make ya cry. It’s a loverly film.

  110. St. Bina, Queen of Sheba said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:37

    Yes, Repug bitches, by all means, feast yourselves to death on deep-fried everything (including Coke). If you people want to dig your own graves in a tub-o-lard, you can be my guest. You’ll be proving that Darwin was right, among other neat incidental things. Eat your fatty shit till you die–hopefully before you get a chance to reproduce! Evolution is wonderful!

  111. Sir Windblown Dentist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:48

    People, people, people. They’re Pro-Life, not Pro-Quality-of-Life. Just wanted to clear that up.

  112. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:49

    Rightwingsnarkle – that’s how I learned about the flocks of wild parrots. Slow day at work – thank god for Netflix instant view.

  113. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:54

    But, did you cry, Jennifer? Did you cry?

  114. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2009 at 3:59

    No, I didn’t cry.

    But it was a really cool movie.

  115. Major Kong said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:03

    In the face of circumstances far beyond any that any other man holding your office has ever faced……you stood firm.

    All that FDR feller had to deal with was Hitler and the Great Depression. And don’t get me started on that Lincoln fella.

  116. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:12

    Moreover, neither FDR nor Lincoln had inspirational posters from the Secretary of Defense arriving on their desk every morning to bolster their resolve.

  117. M. Bouffant said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:18

    Yeah, seriously. I’ve seen them in Los Angeles, all flocking together & so on.

  118. SomeNYGuy said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:22

    Yeah, seriously. I’ve seen them in Los Angeles, all flocking together & so on.

    If you spot Tippi Hedren nearby, give her my regards. Then run like hell.

  119. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:26

    I’ve not seen any wild parrots around these parts.

    But there are a pair of scissor-tail flycatchers who hang out around the office.

    And a few years ago, there was a roadrunner who frequented the front yards on my block.

    And then there was the time I saw the ivory-billed woodpecker. Really. But that was a long time ago.

  120. Sir Windblown Dentist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:29

    And FDR and Lincoln did some pretty hardcore decidering.

    Neither looked particularly chimpy either. X-)

  121. El Cid said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:58

    The National Confederate Republican Party of Real Americans of Dixie continues its march toward relevance.

    Even as he called for a unified front, Steele was fending off efforts to strip him of some control over RNC operations from a small band of internal critics who say he is mismanaging the organization. He also was opposing a resolution — whose final wording hadn’t yet been set but was expected for a vote Wednesday — in which Republicans would rename the Democratic Party as a “Nationalist Socialist Democrat” party.

    Steele and others said the party should focus its efforts elsewhere.

    “I think it’s stupid,” Florida GOP Chairman James Greer said of the name resolution. “These are trying times. We need to be serious.”

  122. El Cid said,

    May 20, 2009 at 4:59

    Sorry. Link.

  123. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:00

    Columbus, Ohio is not a fine place to be view wild parrots.

    But we’ve got plenty of robins!

  124. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:03

    in which Republicans would rename the Democratic Party as a “Nationalist Socialist Democrat” party

    Wait- are they going to pretend the DEMS are the “Nationalists” of the government? ‘Cause I dunno, kissing up to assholes like the Minutemen seems to be more of a GOP thing.

  125. alec said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:08

    Last I heard it was ‘Socialist Democrat Party’. Nice to see they’ve added Nazi in there – that’s how you can tell they’re serious about freedom.

  126. El Cid said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:10

    Last I heard it was ‘Socialist Democrat Party’. Nice to see they’ve added Nazi in there – that’s how you can tell they’re serious about freedom.

    Yes, but the moderate sellouts apparently refused to include references to Islamism, homosexualitate, and atheosis.

  127. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:10

    in which Republicans would rename the Democratic Party as a “Nationalist Socialist Democrat” party

    The only way I can imagine this makes sense is the goopers plan to take advantage of the the aftermath hilarity and claim victory.

    See! We made you laff!

    Of course, this has not been working so well for them, lately.

  128. Anonymous said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:42

    Snarkboobs make that “Awooga!” sound when you squeeze them.

    They were in the J.C.Whitney catalog.

  129. papa zita said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:43

    Snarkboobs make that “Awooga!” sound when you squeeze them.

    They were in the J.C. Whitney catalog, page 394.

  130. Another kiwi said,

    May 20, 2009 at 5:58

    I must know!!!!! Has anyone ever tried Deep fried Coke syrup?? It must violate the laws of nature on about eleventy levels

  131. Another kiwi said,

    May 20, 2009 at 6:03

    Could it be possibly leavened a little by using Diet-coke syrup?

  132. jet said,

    May 20, 2009 at 6:26

    Parrots all over San Gabriel Valley — Pasadena, Arcadia, etc.

    An *immense* flock used to frequent a tree in my backyard a few years back. The noise was so loud that passing cars would stop to see what the hell was going on.

    They were GREAT. Will check out that movie as soon as possible.

    http://www.natureali.org/parrot_project/suburban_jungles.htm

  133. Lesley said,

    May 20, 2009 at 6:40

    On the other hand, arugula has no rights.

  134. OneMan said,

    May 20, 2009 at 6:43

    “the damage Rome will do to Jimmy Choos”

    She must’ve named her feet Romulus and Remus.

  135. stackozone said,

    May 20, 2009 at 7:27

    One of the factors (besides the oh so tiresome lack of socialized medicine excuse) given……we are lazy and fat, allegedly.

    I dunno if anyone’s been looking at whiny-nut photos recently (what a hobby), but they’re either cadaverous-thin, or Jabba-the-Hutt Humongous Gelatinous Blobs.

    And I like the required shit dump taken on preventive care as supplied by universal public health care. ‘Cuz that wouldn’t do anything to prevent dying of treatable diseases at a young age. It’s like the right wing wants to outlaw all auto-repair shops, because MTV has “Pimp My Ride”.

    As long as we are number one!!, I guess everything’s fine.

    Suck on THAT, Cyprus!!

  136. justme said,

    May 20, 2009 at 8:10

    “Snark and Manboobs” could be the handle of just about any male wingnut.

    Well, if you forget the snark part, anyways.

    Maybe I could sow some confusion over at Redstate by telling them the reason we’re living longer is from all the preservatives.

    Oooh, oooh! I know! We can get Amity Shlaes to write a book on it!

    Also, I think I saw a bunch of them parrots flying around the Presidio last weekend. It was a birdy kind of weekend. I saw shitloads of pelicans at the beach as well. Poor badgers.

    Oh, and as long as we’re on Aida Bolladix…
    Dear entire chorus of “Pelosi knew so it doesn’t matter that we ordered torture and murder.”: Start chewing.

    Oh, noez! Teh CIA? Lie? What has the country come to?

    SEA PENIS

  137. Bony Baloney said,

    May 20, 2009 at 8:26

    If you wanna go on a diet, go get the FDA regulations regarding whatever packaged food you feel an urge to eat. Read the whole thing, pausing only to vomit. Then realize that the FDA is understaffed and underfunded and pretty much everyone has spent so long cutting corners in the race for profits that there ARE no corners, just gentle curves, and no safety railing, just a gentle 45-degree slope padded with consumer-spectators to prevent damage to Great Big Corporations that lose traction and slide off the track. The FDA regulations for human food are laughable magic-unicorn pixie dust PIPE DREAMS.

    Shorter:
    1. Never eat animal protein out of a can. Just don’t.
    2. Never eat chicken, period. “Fecal soup” is such a mot juste that it’s graduated from PETA pamphlets and is becoming an industry term, despite stern prohibitions from the pencil-pushing suits.
    3. Kosher turkey anus is a very slightly sought-after delicacy at five-star restaurants. Mostly, it goes into low-fat kosher frankfurters, the ones “that don’t have gross stuff in them.” They have a cool hydraulic gun, it rocks, zzzzzzipp, plop, zzzzzipp, plop, hours of fun at minimum wage.
    4. The stuff you’ve heard about permissible levels of rat droppings and insect parts? Oh yes indeed.

  138. alec said,

    May 20, 2009 at 11:15

    bony baloney: One of the most popular foods in America is, when unadulterated, what bacteria shit when bathed in the larval nectar of a six-stomached ruminant. The human experience is pretty disgusting, and while I certainly agree that the FDA has an underwhelming mandate and is too poorly funded and subject to regulatory captivity to even fulfill it, finding a whole cockroach in your Wheaties would, on the balance, make them less filthy and horrifying.

    And in re. fatty-fatty pantload-tatties: unlike right-wing gasbags (or only partially like them), the primary cause of obesity in America is the steady decline of American savings and real wages against everyday goods inflation, the decay of the expectation of reasonable working hours, the universalization of high-distance suburbs and supermarkets, and the corporate capture of education; each produces a general trend in which eating is conditional, with the overall profile moving from eating a little too much and not particularly well all the time (which will make you fat and sick but not insanely obese) to eating decently for a half week out of every fortnight and spending the rest alternately starving and staving off hunger pangs with high-caloric emergency food.

    If I had to finger any given factor, it’d be the predominant modulus in American eating shifting to siege-style supermarket shopping, in which one buys fruits and vegetables, bread, and other perishables as often as durable-as-hardtack frozen goods and snacks. Your apples rot after three days and you’ve then got a choice between Pringles and starving.

    The upshot is that every American without the means to shop frequently – everyone who has had to lie awake at night worrying about paying the bills, everyone who has had hostile exchanges with creditors and everyone in the vast majority of Americans for whom the Bush-era boom just looked like another long slump – has been locked into a binge-starve cycle, which is one of the more efficient ways of rapidly gaining weight there is. It’s also something that children seem particularly succeptible to.

    We get told that it’s about people not choosing to eat healthy, our addiction to McDonalds, our laziness or car addiction, but it isn’t about any individual choice at all, except the many, many individuals post-Reagan who chose to stake company profits on squeezing their workers dry. American cuisine as of 2000-2009 is no less unhealthy or heavy than modern French cuisine or American cuisine in the 1940s through 1970s. The only variable in the equation that seems to predict anything is the average working family now being expected to drive an hour to a megamarket and buy no less than enough food to last a fortnight, sometimes as much as a couple of months.

    Pantload, of course, has Mommy’s money, so either he’s got some kind of glandular condition or he just completely lacks the self-discipline not to constantly stuff his face with Cheez-Fritos. But our current teenage fatland has nothing to do with our feeble will and the compelling call to do the Dew.

    Oh, noez! Teh CIA? Lie? What has the country come to?

    My favorite part of this entire sordid saga is confirmation that, however little the FBI might have cared about basic civil liberties, they were actually interested in keeping America safe and gathering intelligence on al Qaeda. The CIA motivation was always a mixture of Juche-style extraction of false confessions (someone had to find a way to justify waging war against a crippled basket-case which had been under sanctions for a decade, obviously, or the Likud lobby would have been aaangwy) and simple fascist sadism.

    Normal rapport-based interrogation got us the identity and role of KSM. Torture caused the person who gave us that information to clam up, and later drove him completely insane. But the CIA could give two shits about American lives being in danger – they’re just there to scare up figleaves for their corporate masters. Think about the kind of Mormon missionary who comes back from the ass-end of the world more rather than less provincial and with just enough of the local language to pretend not to know a prostitute and you’ve got the average CIA operative; their higher-ups are just Pentagon lifers and are every bit as wholesome as Rummy.

    I still think that Obama’s continued willingness to leave Bush’s military-industrial nerve center intact is an exercise in folly. Gates isn’t a flashy, Odierno-style Bush lapdog, but he’s still intent on forcing the debate to remain within the neocons’ parameters and sabotaging the White House if they push back.

  139. Ted the Slacker said,

    May 20, 2009 at 11:50

    Heh, if I may try some snark and boos…

    What sort of REAL AMURKIN thinks clutching a German sammich and French side order is PATRIOTIC?

  140. alec said,

    May 20, 2009 at 12:40

    What sort of REAL AMURKIN thinks clutching a German sammich and French side order is PATRIOTIC?

    Not just any kind of French, either – Belgian.

    They know what they did.

  141. Johnny Pez said,

    May 20, 2009 at 12:45

    All Obama has to do is publicly come out against suicide and his problems (and America’s) will be over before you know it.

  142. RvB said,

    May 20, 2009 at 13:23

    Thanks Alec, for that eloquent rage. You’re absolutely right.
    The original post seems to me an example of “he jests at scars who never felt a wound.” If the poster had known someone who suffered from a heart attack, a stroke or cancer of the colon from the crap diet poor and overworked people have no choice but to eat, I doubt they’d be so flippant about an early death. Unfortunately, it’s not always as fast a death as you’d think when you’re 20 and ignorant.
    Re: the parrots. They’re cherry-headed conures, the documentary is fantastic and it talks about the decline of San Francisco from a place that welcomed outcasts, to the monocultural hipster ghetto it is today. Incidentally, these birds seem to be able to survive in cities because they have food sources; it’s astonishing to think of them overwintering in Chicago, but they’re smart birds and know where to find enough stuff to eat to keep going.

  143. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:35

    Lieutenant Zenobia Derick’s Fresh Baboon Pasta

    All you do is get baboon and put baking powder and baking powder on top of it before pastaing it. That – putting those seasonings on top – is the secret. French the meat, then put it on top of some halosaur foot. Put joyous fresh milk (at all grocery stores, make sure to get this joyous fresh milk too) over top of it. Put it in the microwave for 210 seconds. You can add to it whatever you want. Some people put a layer of Romano on it and just eat it like that. I chop up bocconcini, grape and Port Salut cheese and put them on top, as well as dodo whisker. WARNING: You will never be able to order eery baboon at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won’t measure up to the ones you can make at home.

  144. TortureIsUnAmerican said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:38

    The new plank of the Republican Party: shorter life expectancy. I smell a winner!

  145. TheFool said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:41

    First they came for the cheerios…

  146. TheFool said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:44

    Deep-fried Coke?

    Is that what the kids are calling crack these days?

  147. TortureIsUnAmerican said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:48

    “Wouldn’t such “bad” things help to cull the herd and lessen the drain on social security and health care?”
    -snarkandboobs

    “If they are going to die, then they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”
    -escrooge

  148. TheFool said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:48

    @Bubba:

    Well that’s a great recipe if you don’t mind eating baboon dick and baboon ass pasta — which for you, Bubba, may be a plus. Personally, I like to clean and butcher the baboon before pastification.

    Pasta man vibration, yeah!

  149. Bony Baloney said,

    May 20, 2009 at 15:50

    Mormon missionaries being sent back to their exact same stomping grounds, once they finish up at the Y and cold-bust some indoctrination at the Shop, is way up there in the top 20 Central American open secrets countdown. When the Organization of American States sends an open request to the State Department to knock that shit off, it’s too late to lie low and keep as quiet as possible — best bet is to really knock it off for a generation or two and let people forget. Doesn’t seem to be happening yet. Telling the OAS to pound sand is an especially good way to kickstart an intelligence-sharing program among our Spanish-speaking neighbors, even if the intelligence has nothing to do with Commie infiltrators and they decline to share it with us. Politics is hard!

    I’ve spent too long wandering the Path of biochem exactly 180 degrees away from basic research to get nauseated at metabolic processes, plain language descriptions of the everyday, or death in general. I still remember the last time I blew beets on the clock; I was recovering from ‘flu and had a belly full of skunked homebrew, and opened the wrong door while inhaling instead of exhaling. Talk about bells ringing and banners snapping in the breeze, except instead of “Mission Accomplished” they read “You Suck.”

  150. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:00

    We can joke around about our appalling “health care” (denial) system all we like, but it’s the one issue where we need to be ready to hit the streets and raise a huge stink at a moment’s notice when the Democrats unveil their plan to sell us out on it once again.

    There are rumblings and rumors that our fine public servants are trying to “compromise” with the private insurers by getting rid of the public health insurance option. What this means for all of us is that 1) we will continue to pay 30% more for health insurance so CEOs can pocket multi-million paychecks and 2) we will continue to be bankrupted by relatively minor health issues.

    Forcing everyone into private health insurance, with private insurance for the low-income being subsidized by the government so it’s affordable, is not reform; it’s health insurance industry welfare – welfare that we’re going to pay at a 30% markup. Not acceptable.

    I can forgive a lot of the other cave-ins that have happened and will happen, for the simple reason that no one else would have done things any differently – do we really believe that president Hillary Clinton or John McCain would be pushing for torture prosecutions? But this one is non-negotiable. Sticking a band-aid over it in the form of subsidized private for-profit health insurance is worse than doing nothing at all. It won’t stop the ongoing abuse of the insured by their insurers. It won’t contain costs. It won’t stop the ridiculous restrictions on job mobility a lot of us face. We’ll just be paying more for the same shit sandwich, so that everyone gets a chance to take a bite of it.

  151. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:20

    Los Angeles, San Francisco, many cities in Florida, even cold places like Chicago, New York, and Connecticut.

    Yup. Some of them are actually rather large birds, like macaws. Here in the city, they tend to gravitate at the Jamaica Wildlife Refuge, but there are some smaller flocks holed up in warehouses and in the cracks and crevices of older buildings.

  152. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:27

    To my mind, one of the worst aspects of US heathcare, is that people are still dragging their feet over reform, when it is the perfect way to start fixing the economy.

    Let’s say the government builds a genuine single payer system. In the short term, this means big government investment in educating new doctors, building new hospitals, all kinds of economically stimulating spending. In the long term, it means saving about 5% of the GDP compared with the old system. Removing employer provided healthcare adds extra flexibility to the labour market, making the economy more resilient against future problems.

    Given all the knock-on effects of poor healthcare provision, I reckon for every dollar made by the insurance and pharmaceutical industries, they take two or more dollars out of the economy.

    If improving peoples lives isn’t a good enough reason for reform, is economics a good enough reason?

  153. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:27

    There’s a flock of seagulls parrots in Fairfield (CT) that are supposedly descendants of escapees from a circus decades ago.

  154. shortstop said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:28

    I’d really like to see a photo of District Attorney Le Reed. My guess is that a panoramic camera will be needed.

  155. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:30

    In the short term, this means big government investment in educating new doctors, building new hospitals, all kinds of economically stimulating spending.

    …and shorter tee times for the rest of us on Wednesdays!

  156. Bony Baloney said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:41

    Somebody’s moms is going to check out because of the health insurance mantra — “delay, deny and hope they die” — and he’s gonna stay the hell off the Internet and figure out the three executives most directly responsible using old shareholder reports and outdated phone books, and because you can’t intercept signal intelligence from light falling on dead trees, the first warning anyone will get is when the first exec’s skull pops like a zit in public, possibly in front of witnesses. Then the new orphan will go on to target #2, and unless intercepted (good luck), target #3. With any luck he’ll pull the pin and see what’s next, but what’s to stop him wrapping his gear in chicken wire, throwing it into a major river, and starting over with investment bankers?

    The FBI, like a kung-fu action hero, implicitly relies on its enemies lining up to get their asses kicked one at a time. One banker-hunter in each of the top 25 most populous states would bring what remains of civil society to a halt, and then all those scarce and expensive small-arms shells would see some use, one way or another. Why are people so afraid of North Koreans when all it takes is ten million middle class kamikazes, speaking English, largely pale-skinned, with no criminal record, no distinguishing features, no history of violence, and no prospect of any future at all, to throw a crowbar into the faltering machinery of American day-to-day life?

    Ideally for the country as a whole, any theoretical insurrectionist cadre would stutter their every pronouncement with Twitter, Facebook, IRC, PGP, pseudorandom one-time pads and SMS. But they might not cooperate. Worse, there might be no They, just a bunch of hers and hims. I admire the balls of our elected leaders, who apparently assume that porn-saturated fatsos will never spontaneously fuck up what’s left of society. In other news, the stock market rose 1.234% today — I’m just guessing here, but the odds are with me.

  157. Ted the Slacker said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:43

    “This week’s General Mills™ Conservative Spirit Award…”

    Amen. Present the DA with a “change is being delivered in a teabag” bumpersticker.

    http://www.eschatonblog.com/2009/05/holy-crap_19.html

  158. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:43

    Completely off topic, but over at rebuildtheparty.com, it appears the movement to draft Horsly (heh) is about to vault into 5th place. It just needs a few votes. If you have problems voting, check your cookies and make sure there are none from rebuildtheparty.

  159. thesebastiancat said,

    May 20, 2009 at 16:55

    Titties and Beer.

    That is all.

  160. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:00

    Wait a minute, my last comment WASN’T off topic, since the heading on this thread is “ideas to save the repig party”.

    I was under the impression it was the parrots & recipes thread.

  161. henry lewis said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:06

    On-topic is the new off-topic.

  162. Willy said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:21

    Titties and Beer.

    That is all.

    Don’t forget Frank’s “Going Galt” classic, Montana

  163. les said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:31

    our acting compliance officer, Ms. Aïda Bolladix

    Is someone listening to “Car Talk?”

  164. Jennifer said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:45

    I thought our acting compliance officer was Ms. Aida Baggadix.

  165. Parrotlover77 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:47

    So there’s good sound medical reason for raising the retirement age, which has the added bonus of allowing people to accumulate more money in their private retirement funds so they won’t have to rely so heavily on SSI or Medicare when they do retire.

    Awesome idea! I, for one, am tired of all those oldies complaining out there who have put only a meer in 45 years working. I mean if you wanted to retired at 65 and enjoy a little life before you are wheel-chair bound and pissing your pants regularly, you should have gotten rich! I mean, duh! You old social security mooching dummies!

  166. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 17:50

    There is an enormous flock of vultures living in DC.

  167. OneMan said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:02

    “I thought our acting compliance officer was Ms. Aida Baggadix.”

    That’s her maiden name.

  168. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:05

    More piceless nonsense from Michael Steele. Hey! This is even on topic!

    Shorter: We will not look back, only forward. Because that’s what Reagan would want us to do.”

    Today we are declaring an end to the era of Republicans looking backward,” he announced. [...]The era of Republican navel gazing is over. We have turned the corner on regret, recrimination, self-pity and self-doubt. Now is the hour to focus all of our energies on winning the future.
    [...]
    For me the Republican Party owes its moorings to Edmund Burke, William F. Buckley and Ronald Reagan, [...] Ronald Reagan always insisted that our party must move aggressively to seize the moment, [...] In the best spirit of President Reagan, it’s time to saddle up and ride.

    Also, FY with a carnivorous parrot, WP.

  169. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:07

    Ronald Reagan was off the hizzoo, fo shizzoo

  170. goodness me said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:08

    Sadly No droolz:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AmCC_IeCiw

  171. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:08

    you should have gotten rich! I mean, duh! You old social security mooching dummies!

    All those seniors sitting around residential facilities, slapping their heads – “Dammit, ‘get rich’! WHY didn’t I THINK of that! D’oh!”

    and the guy across the room – “Get pitch? Well, I haven’t played baseball in years, but I suppose I could…”

  172. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:16

    Y’all should really check out the video linked at 18:08. Troofy’s blather is actually funny when you can see the clown it’s coming out of.

  173. henry lewis said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:17

    Sadly No droolz:

    One minute and forty-four seconds of “I like pie!”

  174. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:18

    I thought our acting compliance officer was Ms. Aida Baggadix.

    Does SAG know I have to report to a compliance officer????

  175. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:31

    Shorter Steele:

    If endless, blatant contradictions are good enough for the Bible, they’re good enough for repigs.

  176. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 18:43

    I envisioned our “compliance officer” more as wearing a PVC catsuit and carrying a whip.

    What? What?

  177. D.N. Nation said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:04

    Sadly No droolz:

    Wow, booger, it’s been a while.

    The whole smiling-as-you-swim-toward-the-polar-bear story would carry more weight if Ace hadn’t admitted he thinks Sarah Palin is the greatest conservative leader in America today. But as he did, blart.

  178. Ted the Slacker said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:07

    I envisioned our “compliance officer” more as wearing a PVC catsuit and carrying a whip.

    I had never imagined the disemvoweller was into S&M. But it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  179. Erik W. said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:18

    Ideas To Save The Republican Party

    Maybe they’ll have to destroy the village in order to save it…

  180. jim said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:25

    “Ideas To Save The Republican Party”

    Triage? Chemotherapy? Open heart massage? An iron lung? Neural implants? PENIS enlargement surgery?

    Not sure if any of it’s even worth it … after eight years of a delusional actor with early-stage Alzheimer’s & another eight years of a megalomanic coked-out alcoholic as leaders & role-models, the GOP is just too diseased to be anything other than a political dead-weight (see the “Republican Road To Recovery” budget for, er, “details”) – & you remember what Ma & Pa did when Ole Yeller got too sick & too dangerous to keep around the farm, don’t you?

  181. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:34

    & you remember what Ma & Pa did when Ole Yeller got too sick & too dangerous to keep around the farm, don’t you?

    They re-branded him as Dog the Bounty Hunter, right?

  182. cur said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:53

    Has anyone seen the RightLeftCenter comic strip before.

    Good stuff. Classic conservative humor.

    http://comicstripclub.com/?p=75&cpage=1#comment-372

  183. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:54

    after eight years of a delusional actor with early-stage Alzheimer’s

    I was President?

  184. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:55

    Good stuff. Classic conservative humor.

    Oxymoran, you mean.

  185. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 19:57

    Oxymoran, you mean

    Which reminds me, I need to send my maid out to Denny’s for more oxymoran…

  186. cur said,

    May 20, 2009 at 20:00

    actor212, exactly.

    If day by day doesn’t give em wood, that RLC comic strip will.

  187. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:01

    eight years of a delusional actor with early-stage Alzheimer’s

    Now, be fair.

    It was about 3 years of early-stage and 5 years of complete dementia.

  188. tigrismus said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:20

    Has anyone seen the RightLeftCenter comic strip before.

    The one at the head of the page is pretty damn awful, but the comment one linked was apparently someone at Something Awful parodying the strip.

  189. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:24

    In about 15 minutes, this thread will be one day old.

    O frabjous day!

  190. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:25

    The one in the comment thread has the bonus of a misspelling. Or are misspellings required for “conservative humor?”

  191. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:28

    Or are misspellings required for “conservative humor?”

    Get a lief, moran!

  192. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:43

    24 hours. No wonder it’s so quiet. This thing needs life support.

  193. Candy said,

    May 20, 2009 at 21:56

    I tried to watch Troofy’s little video, but the monotone voice put me to sleep.

    Finally! I’ve found Troofy’s purpose in life. He’s a sedative.

    Give him a sedagive.

    Sedagive?

  194. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:08

    I was under the impression it was the parrots & recipes thread.

    Parrot recipes? Mikey must know a few.

  195. OneMan said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:10

    Sedagive than to receive?

    From now on, whenever Troofie uses yet another nym to spew its vitriol here, I’ll read it in that same monotone voice. Then I’ll put it into the killfile along with all the others.

  196. OneMan said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:13

    I could parrot recipies but you could find ‘em just as easily in the original cookbooks.

  197. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:13

    Man, this place is dead. Lolcats here I come!

  198. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:34

    Umm, POOP?

  199. Ken Lowery said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:38

    Pardon the pun, but thanks for giving me food for thought re: grocery buying habits, alec. I buy every two weeks as well, though partly it’s out of necessity. My meager paycheck is out the door so fast I have to buy when I can or I may not be able to buy at ALL.

    Which, I suppose, proves your point.

  200. commie atheist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 22:59

    I see the snark. Where are the boobs?

  201. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:02

    I see the snark. Where are the boobs?

    Commenting at her website.

  202. commie atheist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:02

    Look how kids in Slovenia (Europe) learn about poop from this picture book.

    I’m sorry, but Everyone Poops is still the canonical work in this field.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Poops

  203. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:05

    Everything comes down to Poop

  204. M. Bouffant said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:07

    We’ve so poisoned ourselves that cannibalism isn’t even an option any more. What a species!!

  205. commie atheist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:11

    They were first going to call it “The Poop Chute,” but they changed their minds in the nick of time:

    http://www.thepoopdeckrestaurants.com/

  206. kingubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:15

    This thread is so old it was a toll-taker on the Bering Land Bridge.

  207. M. Bouffant said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:16

    Everything’s made out of shit & we’re all dying.

    Get out of that one.

  208. commie atheist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:17

    We’ve so poisoned ourselves that cannibalism isn’t even an option any more.

    I’m in favor of cannabinoidism.

    And I am not posting too quickly.

  209. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:17

    Okay, fine. I’ll take it to the next level. Why Do Echidnas Have Four-Headed Penises?

    Which, by the way, is what WP should get FY’ed with.

  210. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:21

    Oh, thankgod, the great mysteries of life continue to be solved in our modern world of the future:

    British court rules yes, Pringles are in fact chips

    Whee!

  211. commie atheist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:22

    Why Do Echidnas Have Four-Headed Penises?

    To get to the other side?

    Wait, I know – For the proverbial bag of dicks?

  212. actor212 said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:23

    Why Do Echidnas Have Four-Headed Penises?

    I don’t get invited to any of the cool parties…

  213. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:24

    Los Angeles, San Francisco, many cities in Florida, even cold places like Chicago, New York, and Connecticut.

    Bird nerd gotta chirp- the parrots in the Northeast and Chicago tend to be Green Monk or Quaker Parakeets Myiopsitta monachus. Urban legend here in the NY metro area has it that a crate of them fell off a loading dock at Idlewild (now known as JFK) Airport back in the 60′s. The birds are native to the southern “cone” of South America, and can be exposed to temperatures as low as 20F. in their own native home. They also have huge communal nests, so they can huddle for warmth. There are large colonies near Greenwood Cemetery, Brooklyn College, and the stadium in Pelham Bay Park (these are the ones that amuse us at the feeder at Big Bad Bald Bastard’s Bronx ancestral manse). Recently, a group has established a colony at the end of City Island (I call it Bronxtucket) by Johnny’s Reef (a bastion of deep-fried goodness).

    Now, here’s the heartbreaker… North America was home to the Carolina Parakeet, which ranged into the Ohio and Hudson valleys, and ranged as far north as Ontario. Did Homo sapiens refrain from killing off these jaunty little creatures (although honeybees competed with them for nesting space)? Sadly, no.

    So, now that I have bored you all to tears, can I say that I say a male wood duck today, or would that bore you further?

  214. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:24

    Hey Jennifer, thanks for your impassioned plea about health care. Want you to know know I’m going to print it out and, next time I take a nice big dump, I’m going to wipe my ass with it. We don’t have the time to deal with non-issues like gay rights, or health care, or war crime prosecution, or the environment, because we have a country to run goddamnit. We can’t do anything right now with our majority in Congress because there’s nothing more important than getting an even bigger majority in Congress during the next election cycle. If anybody out there doesn’t like what I have to say, let me just suggest you not try to use your brakes on your way home.

    What I’m saying is, all those other issues you say you don’t really care about because nobody else would’ve done anything any different–yeah, go ahead and throw your sacred cow in that pile, too. Nobody is doing anything about this, either. Welcome to the Center Left.

    Thanks.

    Hope

  215. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:31

    On the topic of birds and penes.

    PENIS!

  216. SomeNYGuy said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:31

    I call fake Rahm. Not a swear-word in the whole comment. Also, it was obviously typed with ten whole fingers.

  217. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:32

    Rahm Emmanuel said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:24

    I know someone else who has four penises – and they’re not his own, either.

  218. SomeNYGuy said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:33

    Now I understand why there’s no new thread. WordPress must be telling our hosts they’re posting too quickly.

    FYWP.

  219. tigrismus said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:37

    Why Do Echidnas Have Four-Headed Penises

    He presents his fork, she prefers to spoon;
    A monotrematic way to spend an afternoon.

  220. Another kiwi said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:51

    You will never be able to order eery baboon at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won’t measure up to the ones you can make at home.

    That is Notcho what this is about.

    I like the Cheesey Hash Browns recipe.
    Ingredients: Hash browns
    Cheese
    Mix and grill.

  221. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:51

    Why Do Echidnas Have Four-Headed Penises

    Man, the details they leave out in Sonic the Hedgehog could fill a book.

    But the echidna’s condition is better than having a penised forehead, I guess.

  222. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:52

    Cats, apparently, are smart enough to learn English (of a sort), but not quite smart enough to learn to spell or capitalize correctly. To their credit, though, they’ve come a long way since those dark days of “I hate Mondays.”

  223. PeeJ said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:53

    Head for penis is too obvious even to be mentioned.

  224. commie atheist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:56

    Cats, apparently, are smart enough to learn English (of a sort), but not quite smart enough to learn to spell or capitalize correctly. To their credit, though, they’ve come a long way since those dark days of “I hate Mondays.”

    Except for this one:
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ujk9GTedwW8/SR09Um-Lf8I/AAAAAAAAOS4/ePB3SSPFh54/s400/crazy-kitten-with-gun.jpg

  225. islmfaoscist said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:57

    Ideas to Save The Republican Party:

    At their gloomy sages did I bid them laugh, and whoever had sat admonishing as a black scarecrow on the tree of life.

    On their great grave-highway did I seat myself, and even beside the carrion and vultures–and I laughed at all their bygone and its mellow decaying glory.

    Verily, like penitential preachers and fools did I cry wrath and shame on all their greatness and smallness. Oh, that their best is so very small! Oh, that their worst is so very small! Thus did I laugh.

    Thus did my wise longing, born in the mountains, cry and laugh in me; a wild wisdom, verily!–my great pinion-rustling longing.

    And oft did it carry me off and up and away and in the midst of laughter; then flew I quivering like an arrow with sun-intoxicated rapture:

    O my brethren, am I then cruel? But I say: What falleth, that shall one also push!

    Thus Spake Zarathustra

  226. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:58

    To their credit, though, they’ve come a long way since those dark days of “I hate Mondays.”

    Not to mention “Hang In There”

  227. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2009 at 23:58

    Now, one of the engineers working on the machine used to manufacture Pringles was Gene Wolfe, who, in his speculative fiction novella Seven American Nights, wrote this about cannibalsism and food safety:

    In the last century, when the famine gripped their country and the irreversible damage done to the chromosomal structures of the people had already become apparent, some few turned to the eating of human flesh. No doubt the corpses of the famine supplied their food at first; and no doubt those who ate of them congratulated themselves that by so doing they had escaped the effects of the enzymes that were then still used to bring slaughter animals to maturity in a matter of months. What they failed to realize was that the bodies of the human beings they ate had accumulated far more of these unnatural substances than were ever found in the flesh of the short-lived cattle.

    On my way to total nerdgasm…

  228. islmfaoscist said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:03

    Spicy Guacamole Pringles are made out of people! They’re made out of PEOPLE!

  229. PeeJ said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:25

    Can’t let this one slip by. Totally SFW child PENIS.

  230. g said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:33

    Dear God in Heaven, the thread that would not die.

  231. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:37

    Dear God in Heaven, the thread that would not die.

    Maybe we should force feed it bacon cheeseburgers.

  232. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:38

    Except for this one:
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ujk9GTedwW8/SR09Um-Lf8I/AAAAAAAAOS4/ePB3SSPFh54/s400/crazy-kitten-with-gun.jpg

    If only cats were allowed to conceal their claws, one of them could have dealt with the shooter.

  233. PeeJ said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:49

    Can’t let this one slip by. Totally SFW child PENIS.

    FYFYFYFYFYWP

  234. PeeJ said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:54

    Dear God in Heaven, the thread that would not die.

    That reminds me of something….

  235. Pere Ubu said,

    May 21, 2009 at 0:57

    Totally SFW child PENIS.

    That mother looks entirely too happy about what she’s doing.

    “Hey! Look! He pooped! Wheee! See the colors?”

    yeah, I’m fairly sure someone’s been running to the shelter of Mother’s Lil’ Helper.

  236. Pere Ubu said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:02

    Oooh, someone’s taking his Oxycodone™(oxycontin HCL) and going home:

    I am resigning as the titular head of the Republican Party,” Limbaugh said. “Clearly I am not the titular head of the Republican Party

    Clearly not. He’s the dickular head of the GOP. Big difference.

  237. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:04

    So, Rush is- how you say- “Going Galt”.

  238. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:11

    Oh double bing-bang hell, how could I have missed it?

    Clearly I am not the titular head of the Republican Party

    That honor belongs to “snark and boobs”.

  239. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:13

    one of the engineers working on the machine used to manufacture Pringles was Gene Wolfe
    BBBB, did you see this at the bottom of the author-database page you linked to?

    Copyright ©2009 Soylent Communications

  240. Pere Ubu said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:16

    Soylent people! It’s GREEN!

  241. OneMan said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:17

    “Gene Wolfe…Soylent Communications”

    Soylent Gene?

  242. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:18

    BBBB, did you see this at the bottom of the author-database page you linked to?

    SC, I cannot lie… I did not. I was too busy typing out that passage from Seven American Nights to scroll down. I don’t believe in karma (being an utter apatheist), but I am ecstatic that I hit upon just the right linkie to substantiate the Wolfe/Pringles connection.

  243. PeeJ said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:18

    Clearly not. He’s the dickular head of the GOP. Big difference.

    There’s something about Rush and dickular that brings this to mind.

  244. Bookmark This, Punk Bitches said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:24

    Ok folks, bookmark that link Troofus gave you earlier; It’s a gold mine of revelations! From it we learn the following;

    He declares himself as 40 years old. And we know he never leaves his house, resorts to infantile trolling of Sadly No continuously, and even copies SNs! use of monotone crappy video to try and parody them and engage in playground obsessional taunting against Gavin… Don’t you wish you led the same sort of life as this moral and intellectual colossus, eh?! “My Achievements, Aged 40… Managed to hopefully annoy a liberal today!”

    And! The dumb sod didn’t bother, or was too incompetent to hide his YouTube activity. His favourites in particular are most amusing… “The Problem With Women”, eh? Gosh, what a white knight he is, I hope he comes riding to my easily confused and emotional self sometime soon!

    I believe the correct spelling is; “Aha-ha-ha-ha!”

  245. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:31

    I am resigning as the titular head of the Republican Party,” Limbaugh said.

    If only ‘titular’ looked more like ‘title’, to increase the chance of nimrods realising that it means the opposite of what they think it means.

  246. tigrismus said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:38

    I am resigning as the titular head of the Republican Party,” Limbaugh said. “Clearly I am not the titular head of the Republican Party”

    That honor belongs to “snark and boobs”.

    I bet Rush’s “smirk and moobs” overshadow her “snark and boobs.”</nimrod>

  247. PeeJ said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:41

    Ohh, now I get it. I watched that Twoofus video earlier but I did not realize the source. The first time, I thought Gavin had made it. It’s actually funny when viewed from that perspective.

    Now that I know the poop, troofiie’s obsession with Gavin is more than wierd, it’s fucking insane. Stalker territory, even.

  248. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:42

    BTW, tig, your “echdna” couplet was great… reminiscent of the work of the Digital Cuttlefish.

  249. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2009 at 1:45

    For correct use of ‘titular’, see Roy Edroso.

  250. Sprinkle On The Zesty Goodness said,

    May 21, 2009 at 4:10

    “Obvy” instead of “obvious.” I think I’ve found the new “anyhoo.”

  251. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2009 at 4:32

    your “echdna” couplet was great

    I too insist on Echt-DNA. None of the cheap Chinese imports with uracil substituted for the thymine.

  252. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 21, 2009 at 4:49

    I’m sorry to see that the riff-raff have discovered xtranormal now.

  253. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2009 at 17:34

    Why Do Echidnas Have Four-Headed Penises
    Everytime you walk by?

    Just like me, they need to pee
    More than once….

  254. unapologetic pirate of Dr. BLTunes said,

    May 21, 2009 at 19:52

    Three recent developments indicate that Republicans don’t need to be saved:

    1. The resounding lack of support for the Obama Gitmo plan by both parties.

    2. Nancy Pelosi

    3. The fact that in a recent poll, Dr BLT (who has written and recorded songs like Right-wingers Need Love Too), the clear underdog, is winning by a comfortable margin over the winner of American Idol, Kris Allen, and the once-presumed also-ran, Adam Lambert.

    Oh, BTW, did I mention Nancy Pelosi?

  255. unapologetic pirate of Dr. BLTunes said,

    May 21, 2009 at 19:53

    The link to the poll? I thought you’d never ask:

    http://www.topix.net/forum/topstories/TVAB4DCKG1G1DPKMV

  256. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 21, 2009 at 20:01

    Three recent developments indicate that Republicans don’t need to be saved

    Good call: I’d let ‘em drown too.

  257. unapologetic pirate of Dr. BLTunes said,

    May 21, 2009 at 20:12

    Waterboarding is a bit harsh, but in terms of it’s persuasive power, it beats sitting around, holding hands with terrorists, and singing John Denver songs like this one:

    Leavin’ on a Jet Plane
    Dr BLT rap cover
    http://www.drblt.net/music/jetp.mp3

  258. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 21, 2009 at 20:40

    Yes, torture is better than holding hands and singing songs.

  259. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2009 at 21:05

    Waterboarding is a bit harsh, but in terms of it’s persuasive power, it beats sitting around, holding hands with terrorists, and singing John Denver songs

    Asshole, that IS torture!

  260. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2009 at 21:05

    3. The fact that in a recent poll, Dr BLT (who has written and recorded songs like Right-wingers Need Love Too), the clear underdog, is winning by a comfortable margin over the winner of American Idol, Kris Allen, and the once-presumed also-ran, Adam Lambert.

    Thus proving that diarrhea floats faster than turds.

  261. unapologetic pirate of Dr. BLTunes said,

    May 21, 2009 at 21:30

    One person’s torture is another person’s truth serum. One person’s diarrhea is another person’s dessert.

  262. actor212 said,

    May 21, 2009 at 21:33

    One person’s torture is another person’s truth serum. One person’s diarrhea is another person’s dessert.

    Did you want coffee to go with that?

  263. unapologetic pirate of Dr. BLTunes said,

    May 21, 2009 at 21:34

    No, I take that statement back. That was just the coffee talking. I had a little too much of that this morning.

  264. Chuck U. Farley said,

    May 24, 2009 at 20:00

    It doesn’t matter if the Republican Party is saved or not.

    These parties’ only purpose is to distract you from self-interest.

    They are Coke and Pepsi. Do not spend your life on the Internet defending Pepsi from Coke.

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