Central To His Point, As They Say
Posted on March 21st, 2010 by Tintin
ABOVE: Jay “I Am A Teabagger Too” Nordlinger
Shorter Jay Nordlinger, America’s Shittiest Website™
Racism Today
- The fact that health care protestors called a black man “nigger” rather than lynching him is proof that our country is no longer racist.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Mangoes? Why yes, I’d lurv me some sweet mangoes.
“We’re a good nation, among the least racist on earth . . .”
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!
Racism Today? That’s where J-Nord’s writing now?
Them must be some mighty fine mangos.
I’m no believer in Peak Wingnut, but it seems to me you pass a certain threshold when you’ve got Republican congressmen and more-or-less mainstream pundits saying, “Mm-mmmm! Loves me some of that old-fashioned racism!”
As they say, always trust the shorter.
He looks like Karl Rove’s not-much-younger brother.
Eric Cuntor (R- John Boehner’s ass) is condemning the incident, presumably because he’s got enough of a survival instinct to know how people who scream “nigger” and “faggot” tend to feel about Jews.
Hmm, I gather then that calling teabaggers a bunch of ballsucking morons is proof of tolerance.
we must combat the creeping influence of the nordlings
I hardly KNOW ‘er!
Not the time to get all meta Substance. Feel the power of the force young padwan.
If you point out that a particular group of people who are publicly acting in a racist manner are, in fact, acting in a racist manner, it means you hate America and are attempting to defame all America as racist, mainly because the people who are acting racist count as = All America and you = Not America.
And I think, y’know there’s people that have every right to say what they want. If they want to smear someone they can do it.
He looks like Karl Rove’s not-much-younger brother.
Sure does! I thought that was Turdblossom himself.
Glad my computer doesn’t have smell-o-vision!
With apologies to our gracious hosts, and with true regret
Sadly, No!
Google has not caught on.
…and, over at freeperville, they are FREEPING OUT!!!1!1!!
The outcome of any vote by Congress on health care is irrelevant since Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution does not specifically grant Congress the power to regulate health care! Therefore the so called legislation on its face is Unconstitutional! The people are not bound to comply with an Unconstitutional act of Congress! This is a power regulated to the states per the 10th Amendment!
It is the reason why Idaho and Virginia have passed legislation blocking federal health care from being illegally imposed on the citizens of those states by reasserting their 10th Amendment rights and 34 other states considering similar legislation!
—
What is outrageous is the fact that I, as a hard working, law abiding taxpayer has NO voice, NO representation.
After having spent just 10 hours in a county jail through no fault of my own learned early on to play by the rules and avoid such places again at all costs. Now, the federal government is going to force me into being a criminal and enemy of the state.
I WILL NOT PLAY THEIR F-ING GAME ANY LONGER. “F” THEM!!!
They WILL NOT receive not one more dime from me. No more taxes, no penalty fines, nothing!
To use their own freaking drug induced motto from the sixties “I’m tuned in and now I’m dropping out”.
—
Will the “American Sheeple” remember in November or will they(we) go back to sleep?
Most Americans will never wake up! Now that we are almost totally transformed and we can call us a communists Nation, the lame idiots should just calibrate. Fools. I’m so ashamed of America I’m ready to leave the Country.
—
I will never invest another nickel in the United States of america. All my money,etc is going ioverseas immediately. The US dollar is going to crash and our country will be in civil war in 5 years. Obamacare just will speed it up. This country is bankrupt.
He looks like Karl Rove’s not-much-younger brother.
He’s got the flesh-colored hair thing down pat.
snorf???
…and, over at freeperville, they are FREEPING OUT!!!1!1!!
The outcome of any vote by Congress on health care is irrelevant since Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution does not specifically grant Congress the power to regulate health care! Therefore the so called legislation on its face is Unconstitutional! The people are not bound to comply with an Unconstitutional act of Congress! This is a power regulated to the states per the 10th Amendment!
It is the reason why Idaho and Virginia have passed legislation blocking federal health care from being illegally imposed on the citizens of those states by reasserting their 10th Amendment rights and 34 other states considering similar legislation!
———————————————————-
What is outrageous is the fact that I, as a hard working, law abiding taxpayer has NO voice, NO representation.
After having spent just 10 hours in a county jail through no fault of my own learned early on to play by the rules and avoid such places again at all costs. Now, the federal government is going to force me into being a criminal and enemy of the state.
I WILL NOT PLAY THEIR F-ING GAME ANY LONGER. “F” THEM!!!
They WILL NOT receive not one more dime from me. No more taxes, no penalty fines, nothing!
To use their own freaking drug induced motto from the sixties “I’m tuned in and now I’m dropping out”.
“America can end racism If we just stopped using the word ‘racist’ and removed it from our dictionaries! It’s only the racists who keep America from doing just that!!”
They WILL NOT receive not one more dime from me. No more taxes, no penalty fines, nothing!
Enjoy your massive penalty fines and your lengthy stay in federal prison, wingnut treasonmonkeys!
What I mean is that Jay’s argument – or Jay’s reader’s argument – is “Open season, no outrage allowed.” And in the case of calling teabaggers ballsucking morons I’m fine with that.
I’ll vote for anyone who says unicorns DO exist.
The banner ad alone was enough to scare me back onto the boat. “Standing athwart Washington liberals yelling ‘stop?'” Moar liek “Straddling Washington conservatives and faking a climax.”
Also, this has probably been pointed out before, but Nordlinger is apparently a ballchinian.
So…because some black congressmen weren’t lynched by an angry mob of white teabaggers, this is an indicator that racism is dead.
I’m not sure I can keep my head from exploding from the idiocy of that conclusion.
I remember a time when men used to beat the crap out of women before they raped them. Now they just slip them a roofie and have sex with them while they’re not conscious. Ergo, rape no longer exists.
To use their own freaking drug induced motto from the sixties “I’m tuned in and now I’m dropping out”.
Jeebus. It really is all about the resentment they felt forty years ago when Mom and Dad wouldn’t let them grow their hair and wear bell bottoms.
Less than ten days ago, the Silvas were convicted of this de minimis action.
Yeah, it’d sure show us if all the freepers stopped paying taxes, got sent to prison, and were banned from voting once they got out. THAT would sure spell the doom of the DemocRAT Party!
He looks like Karl Rove’s not-much-younger brother.
He’s got the flesh-colored hair thing down pat.
Hey, now!
That is perhaps the most accurate shorter you’ve ever produced. Congratulations on mastering the form.
It really is all about the resentment they felt forty years ago when Mom and Dad wouldn’t let them grow their hair and wear bell bottoms.
and when they found that that hippie girl didn’t think Free Love meant what they thought it meant.
No taxes, you say? Feel free to move to sunny, tax-free Somalia. I’m sure the pirates will give you a vote.
Huh. Where’d our health care trolls vanish to?
Oh, and Pammycakes is claiming that Frank has no right to be offended since he’s never denounced the use of the phrase “teabagger”. As long as we’re on this, has any member of the CBC ever denounced Chris Rock’s Hitler-esque allegations of how white people be driving?
Huh. Where’d our health care trolls vanish to?
They’ll be back, soon enough. One afternoon of raging, then they get the new marching orders.
Huh. Where’d our health care trolls vanish to?
Inserting two dildoes up one’s butt, then donning three wetsuits can be time consuming.
BOOKMARK IT LIBS THIS IS HOW THEY WILL GO DOWN…
I suppose if tea baggers called the congressmen darkies and pansies, the patriot jizzgasm of Jay and the commenter would have been off the charts.
Egregious whoring mode on: I have a new album available, should one care to visit lindsaystewart.bandcamp.com and make a purchase that would be swell. And since the best way to celebrate our southern neighbour’s baby steps toward good old fashioned socialized medicine is with a video taking the piss out of right wing loons, well I made this.
2 birds, 1 stoner.
hmm, no embed. oh well… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVBHXb6ozFA
:Egregious whoring mode off.
All people of color listen up: Racism is dead, the white folks said it so its true, now shut up.
Also, as a woman I’ve given up my feminist beliefs ever since men have told me I’m full of shit.
Thank you, have a nice day.
My apologies House of Substance, guess I misunderstood.
BTW, you must have a lot of equity built up in that substantial house of yours. Pity if it went to waste. Put your money to work in these fresh derivatives I got. Guaranteed by the US Treasury! You deserve it.
I’m not racist. I hate everyone equally. But I especially hate ppl who don’t look like me.
Also, as a woman I’ve given up my feminist beliefs ever since men have told me I’m full of shit.
But girls like that. Rush told me so.
No no, perfectly understandable and I laughed when I reread what I wrote.
Meanwhile dipshits like Glenn Reynolds are demanding that the Representatives called nasty names by Teabaggers apologize. I kid you not.
No link for all the normal reasons.
But girls like that. Rush told me so.
He would TOTALLY know.
psa: great video, thanks for the link!
Meanwhile dipshits like Glenn Reynolds are demanding that the Representatives called nasty names by Teabaggers apologize. I kid you not.
I guess the Dem who got spit on should apologize for giving some nut-gobbler dry-mouth?
Meanwhile dipshits like Glenn Reynolds are demanding that the Representatives called nasty names by Teabaggers apologize. I kid you not.
Well, it’s their fault, what with their delusions of grandeur! Their overweening negritude and homosexualism is an affront to all right-thinking ‘Murkins.
Behold, the pinnacle of creation!
more freeperspam
We are now faced with a group of gangsters running the Congress and White House, as vicious and dishonest a group of fascists as has ever been in power in the United States. We conservatives meet them with orderly protests, home-made posters, and phone calls. That’s futile, as we have seen. It seems clear until/unless we realize that only civil disobedience will turn the tide, Mr. obama and his congressional posse will indeed end the United States and turn it into Nigeria North. The declaration of martial law this fall to cancel the election is not far-fetched. Do we have the courage to face it down? We have jobs (unlike the professional union goons and career welfare moms who get unlimited money to assault conservatives) and adult responsibilities (unlike Obama voters who gleefully asserted that Obama would pay all theur bills) and families (unlike Liberals who avoid having children to ‘save the planet’). For fourty years the Liberals have set-up a system in which they can use unlimited tax money to steal and then keep government position in perpetuity. The only way that can be turned is through civil disobedience. Lacking that, we are doomed to become cringing serfs, begging Lady Pelosi and Lord Obama for a doctor’s visit or permission to buy a firearm.
ok, i’ll stop now…
I guess the Dem who got spit on should apologize for giving some nut-gobbler dry-mouth?
The nut gobblers are going to get their heads stuck in their Depends pretty soon.
Beeg schmile!
cheers tigris! thank you.
cheers tigris! thank you.
Watched it as well.
Nice.
(unlike the professional union goons and career welfare moms who get unlimited money to assault conservatives)
Unlimited money… how do I get on the gravy train?
(unlike Obama voters who gleefully asserted that Obama would pay all theur bills)
It had better happen soon, I have some big outstanding theurgy bills.
It is totally racist to take offense at being called n*****, and the most homophobic act in the universe is to complain when you’re called a f*****.
The next time I want a mango, I’m going to the fucking store.
Let the good times roll, bitches! The teabag crew will be really, really riled up now! It’ll be blood in the streets and going Galt workshops and ammo reloading circles and kike, nigger, wetback, faggot and camel jockey open seasons! America, fuck yeah! Whole event should last about, two days. Tops. Dammit
My mango tree has flower buds and yet I still get tempted off the boat. Madness, MADNESS!
I think he meant to write ‘thewer’. You know, the place where all the thit goeth.
The teabag crew will be really, really riled up now! It’ll be blood in the streets and going Galt workshops and ammo reloading circles and kike, nigger, wetback, faggot and camel jockey open seasons! America, fuck yeah!
Nah, the sedentary geezers will all have coronaries due to the stress, and the massive influx of ICU patients will bring down the entire healthcare infrastructure. Checkmate, loony libs!
the most homophobic act in the universe is to complain when you’re called a f*****.
You never hear bundles of sticks complaining about being called faggots, but just you try calling them fascesist.
My mango tree has flower buds and yet I still get tempted off the boat. Madness, MADNESS!
The mango tree’s very pretty and the mangoes look so sweet,
But there’s sharks in the water, and they’re bound to bite your feet.
You never hear bundles of sticks complaining about being called faggots, but just you try calling them fascesist.
Well, those bundles of sticks always seem to have an axe to bind.
MSNBC just showed the teeming crowd of teabaggers – “dozens” of them – trying to arrange their bodies in a formation spelling out “NO”. The only way you could tell they were doing it was because MSNBC highlighted the formation in the footage of it.
Which begs the question – how did MSNBC know they were spelling out “NO” to begin with?
I look forward to reading the rationalisations and blame-shifting when the teabaggers move on to antisemitic epithets.
A) You’ll get me out of the boat when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
B) Didn’t we hear this shit back when Obama took Iowa? Yes. Michelle Squawkin’ declared racism was a dead as her head.
C) I’m surprised none of the usual rejects has dusted off ye goode olde “But those people use the majikal n-word, why can’t we?”
D) Fuck you, I’m not getting out the boat.
‘Cos its a sure bet those whining assholes weren’t trying to spell “YES.”
I believe that Nordlinger has solved many of our most pressing problems in one foul swoop.
Global Warming? pshaw! it ‘s not as bad as it was in the Pre- Cambrian!
Disease? Pish Posh! The Middle ages, now then we had diseases!
Sentiency? Not since GWB as in charge!!
A brave new world, citizens.
trying to arrange their bodies in a formation spelling out “NO”
They got ‘N’ sorted out, then ran out of people and had to adjust the message.
I look forward to reading the rationalisations and blame-shifting when the teabaggers move on to antisemitic epithets.
Well… er… um… thrift has always been seen as a virtue…
I predict the wingnut event horizon is about to occur. If only there was anything for them to freak out about.
I have a source who says Alan Grayson has confirmed that the Democrats have enough votes to shove the President’s massive, glistening package down Troofie’s throat.
This “shorter” is why I love this place so fucking much.
Wouldn’t an easier shorter just have been “Ungrateful Niggers.”
RBoC: You forgot “throbbing.” But I forgive you.
Oh, and this boat could be on fire, being held by terrorists, about to be struck by a tsunami and the lounge act could be carrot top. I would still stay right where I am, on the deck chairs… OF THIS BOAT.
Just to show I’m open-minded, I also called a white guy “nigger” this morning. He just looked at me in this totes post-racial way. It was awesome.
I predict the wingnut event horizon is about to occur. If only there was anything for them to freak out about.
I dunno, I think there’s a assholery asymptote that wingnutude continuously approaches, but never quite hits.
When one teabagger group starts fragging another because of insufficient purity, then I’ll most heartily concur.
AMERICA’S THROAT IS TIRED OF OBAMA SHOVING HIS HUGE PACKAGE DOWN ITS THROAT REPEATEDLY DAY AND NIGHT SHOVING RAMMING SHOVING RAMMING WE ARE NERVOUS
Greater Winguttia is finally approaching release of their long buildup to a massive orgasmic collective spasm of Peak Tantrum — it’s like if you’ve ever seen when a baby squalls so angrily and furiously that he gives himself the hiccups and nearly passes out from oxygen deprivation and is finally left gasping and spluttering, redfaced and disoriented.
Ooooo but it’s so cute, it makes me want to tickle them on their wittle chins and pinch their wittle cheeks!
Greater Winguttia is finally approaching release of their long buildup to a massive orgasmic collective spasm of Peak Tantrum
There’s tea on the streets, it’s up to my ankles
There’s tea on the streets, it’s up to my knee
Do you smell it? Do you smell it in the air? It isn’t a pleasant smell. In fact, it reeks of stale tea, urine, tears, and failure. And it grows stronger. Thankfully it’s raining here in Atlanta, and I hope this fetid brown mixture of pain and defeat vanishes down the gutters soon.
There’s tea on the streets, it’s up to my ankles
There’s tea on the streets, it’s up to my knee
I wanna tell you about Talkback Radio and the Big Bleat.
Do you smell it? Do you smell it in the air?
Is this what Toofie told us to bookmark?
I feel bad for Troofie. We get 2% of what we wanted, and he gets 100% of what he didn’t want. Imagine if we’d gotten universal coverage?
“There’s tea on the streets, it’s up to my ankles
There’s tea on the streets, it’s up to my knee”
I believe you meant to say “down to.”
I believe you meant to say “down to.”
That would better apply to “pee on the streets”.
It was funnier when I misread it as “tea bags” cause nothing is funnier than saggy, geriatric ball sacks.
(unlike Obama voters who gleefully asserted that Obama would pay all theur bills)
Yeah, that’s what I told Comcast, but they cut off my cable anyway. Racist bastards.
Running smooth and slow
like the throaty nonsense
of a oxycontin high
on a teabag afternoon…
I guess that be like de meanin’ of de blues …