Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™

Oh, look! Innit a cute l’il ole blogger?

Is that photo from “People of Walmart”??

Jeez; why didn’t she just dress up like Popsicle Pete and say, “None of you are safe!”.

I’m guessing she’s not (gonna be, anyway) a big Elton John fan.

Maybe she’s Kaye Grogan’s sister-in-law or sumthin, y’all reckon?

“Evolutionism”. Now see, that’s a nice touch. As if the acceptance of basic scientific fact is a way of life, an entire social order. Reminds me of my fights against Trigonometryism back in teh high school.

I’m guessing she’s not (gonna be, anyway) a big Elton John fan.

I’m not sure that’s NOT Elton…

OK, not to be regionalist, but which southern state does she come from??

I figgered it all out! Modern liberalism is an occult-Marxist conspiracy that uses pagan magic it calls “science” to advance a theory called “evolution” in pursuit of its ultimate goal of SIDSing Baby Jesus in His cute lil ol’ manger. We’re done through the lookin glass here, people.

Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

Maybe she’s Kaye Grogan’s sister-in-law or sumthin, y’all reckon?

And they fight over the leopard-skin leotard.

You’re not regionalist, Woodrowfan. You really think a northern person would have hair like that?

Bullshit. I’ve seen people like that in New Jersey.

historian James Webb chronicles the rise of an occult intelligentsia as it emerged out of the Renaissance. Webb sees the Renaissance as a spiritually traumatic time in which the spiritual roots of many people were shaken free of Christianity. As a result, they eagerly embraced the pantheistic /materialistic occult traditions — Hermeticism, Theosophy, Buddhism, esoteric Cabbalism, alchemy, neo-Platonism, and Gnosticism — sweeping into Christendom at that time. His book, “The Occult Underground” was originally called “The Flight from Reason” because Western man had turned back to occultism — the science of magic.

She got a point. I think it was that damn wig wearin’ apple watching fag Isaac Newton what said that things fall ’cause a some damn “invisible” magic force that somehow just reaches out thru nothin’ and makes a apple fall onna ground.

Yeah, I think I’ve that hairdo in Ohio. Certainly in WestByGodVirginia…

Bullshit. I’ve seen people like that in New Jersey.

Yes, but southern Jersey.

I’ve been in a mood for mangoes today.

brb

::checks site::

Oh dear … that is one special kind of stupid. It reads like a book report penned by some stoned-out-of-his gourd high school freshman who can quote others, but doesn’t quite understand what she’s quoting.

I mean, really. She claims that Buddhism is part of some occult tradition, and basically thinks any type of science anywhere is keeping us from progressing.

Seriously.

My fave is at the end — you can scroll all the way down and not miss much:

Under the guiding hands of legions of daydream-believers,

What about homecoming queens?

barbarian true-believers, megalomaniacs, and the outright possessed, the West is falling through a rabbit hole into a dark fantasy realm located on the other side of the Looking Glass — a kingdom of madness, horror, murder, and mayhem run by Red Queens, Mad Hatters and barbarians.

Her example of this? A quote from Robert Weissberg about how the DoJ is daring to follow the Americans with Disabilities Act:

Here is a great example of Mad Hatter syndrome from Robert Weissberg :

The Civil Rights Division encourages qualified applicants with targeted disabilities to apply. Targeted disabilities are deafness, blindness, missing extremities, partial or complete paralysis, convulsive disorder, mental retardation, mental illness, severe distortion of limbs and/or spine. Applicants who meet the qualification requirements and are able to perform the essential functions of the position with or without reasonable accommodation are encouraged to identify targeted disabilities in response to the questions in the Avue application system seeking that information. For additional information for applicants with targeted disabilities, please contact the Civil Rights Division’s Disability Program Manager, Diane Petrie, at (202) 514-3934.

You read correctly: The DOJ is encouraging job applications from the mentally ill, those with convulsive disorders, the mentally retarded (hear that, Rahm Emmanuel!), the blind, the deaf and the immobile to work as government lawyers. Perhaps we should be thankful that the list did not include the transgendered, transsexuals, hermaphrodites, transvestites and those still uncertain. (Justice is Blind but it is now Deaf, Crazy, and Retarded, Too” (Robert Weissberg, http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.5466/pub_detail.asp )

So … following federal law, as well as showing some basic human decency and providing jobs for those who, ya know, need and deserve them, is a sign of the death of already-dead Jesus.

Because if we know one thing about the big JC, it’s how much he absolutely hated people who were sick.

I briefly stepped off the boat and you know what? I’m glad I did — because before I had to get back on the boat lest I drown in those turbid waters, I found this gem:

Like yesterday’s pagans during the declining days of the Greco-Roman civilization, they are today either practical atheists

Does the author not realize that the pagans of Greco-Roman civilization considered “Judeo-Christian” believers to be “practical atheists” because we denied the Greco-Roman pantheon in favor of an invisible and indeed formless Sky-Fairy?

I think this essay may be yet another case of wingnut projection.

What about the internet, Ms. Kimball? No science there? What about hairspray and polyester?

Nymstradamus said …

Well played, sir!

::applause::

And while I’m sure she doesn’t have a hot rod built by anyone, she is complaining about a New World Order, so …

That’s lumpenhair if I am not mistaken.

“Heedless to the warnings of wise men like Daniel Webster, since the turn of the century increasing numbers of Americans have been turning their backs on the rational, personal God, and by extension, on the source of their humanity, and of their unalienable rights. Like yesterday’s pagans during the declining days of the Greco-Roman civilization, they are today either practical atheists aimlessly wandering in a spiritual desert of nihilism or spellbound, are desperately trying to find meaning and purpose from the mesmerizing ideologies that arose out of the heart of Christendom, during the time of the Renaissance.”

What the moneyhungry fuck is this shit all about? Mesmerizing ideologies, Christendom, Renaissance…what? That is a lot of thought fragments crammed into one unintelligible thought there.

Why, this is practically rambling! I hope she’s not a pilot.

I finally put forth the massive effort of googling the html command for italics–let’s see if I can actually handle bookending a string of words…

Whoa. It’s like interweb magic.

DAS, have you read this book? I’m reading it right now. It’s the first time I’ve encountered the fact that the Greeks and Romans considered the monotheists to be atheists. Interesting stuff.

She’s a member of MoveOff. Get it? MoveOff.

OK, not to be regionalist, but which southern state does she come from??

No, no–look at the faaaaabulous wallpaper in the background. Gotta be East Village, Soho maybe. This is a cosmopolitan bitch right here.

No, no–look at the faaaaabulous wallpaper in the background.

She could be in her bathroom. That might be in the Village.

Desert religions. Pfffftttt.

She’s a member of MoveOff.

She should join MooAlong.

His book, “The Occult Underground” was originally called “The Flight from Reason” because Western man had turned back to occultism

UH?

So the Renaissance was all about… let me get this straight – turning from the clear blue light of Catholicism which had kept Europe in the Dark Ages for centuries, shying away at demon-haunted shadows, burning old ladies for being herbalists, and going on the occasional pogrom or Crusade… abandoning all that in favor of secularism and science, which is just occult mysticism because shut up James Webb said so.

Her hair! It burns my eyes!!!!!!

She has read two books, so she’s not from the South.

barbarian true-believers, megalomaniacs, and the outright possessed, the West is falling through a rabbit hole into a dark fantasy realm located on the other side of the Looking Glass — a kingdom of madness, horror, murder, and mayhem run by Red Queens, Mad Hatters and barbarians.

Howy shit. I’m afwaid. I was never afraid of anything until this clever trailer park girl came along and dropped the Alice references. I am now an official convert.

Let’s not forget the the rest of the list: rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

Um…

How would someone in the Renaissance move onto Theosophy, when Mme. Blavatsky wasn’t going to invent the stupid thing until Darwin offended her by suggesting man was just a goddamn animal like everything else on earth.

You can’t just throw whatever fucking occultist mishegoss you want in there, fucker! If I said John Dee was practicing chaos magik, I’d get laughed off the fucking stage!

Goddamn dabblers messing up occultism, pisses me off. Stick to fears of Freemasons like all the other goddamn fucking rubes.

She could be in her bathroom. That might be in the Village.

Bathroom, yes. That might explain that look on her face, as well as the *shitty* writing! BAHH!! I crack myself up …once.

Also, if you want to go with occultist rhetoric mixed with Lewis Carroll, you should really explore the Red King before queens or hatters. Because “we’re all part of his dream, and if we wake him up, we’ll wink out” is a lot more terrifying.

the West is falling through a rabbit hole into a dark fantasy realm located on the other side of the Looking Glass — a kingdom of madness, horror, murder, and mayhem run by Red Queens, Mad Hatters and barbarians.

Alice in Wonderland:Online?

What are the monthly subscription rates?

the Greeks and Romans considered the monotheists to be atheists.
Well, for them it’d just be a minor rounding error.

Karen Armstrong’s interesting, but I’m always suspecting that her own preference for mystical over literal Christianity results in her being rather too ready to see that tendency in history.

Progressive Center Left Grrl Voice of Truth said,

What about the internet, Ms. Kimball? No science there? What about hairspray and polyester?

What do John Waters’ movies have to do with this?

monotheism=atheism+/-rounding error

I love it!

I say we have a moment of silence to honor all the words that died tragic, horrible deaths in the writing of this piece.

Cyndi Lauper has seen better days.

Bullshit. I’ve seen people like that in New Jersey.

Not to mention Upstate New York.

(And Western Pennsylvania/)

HA!!1!!
Come visit Spokane, WA sometime. This girl is Paris runway material compared to some of the shit I’ve seen out here.

How would someone in the Renaissance move onto Theosophy, when Mme. Blavatsky wasn’t going to invent the stupid thing until Darwin offended her by suggesting man was just a goddamn animal like everything else on earth.

It’s all George Bernard Shaw’s fault, because he hadn’t been born yet either and that just proves the point because Mr. Webb said so, nyaaah.

And they fight over the leopard-skin leotard.

Oh god. I DIE.

She has read two books, so she’s not from the South.

Hey now, some of the tinier thugs around here might take offense at that.

And somebody call her town’s water plant, they’re putting too much chlorine in again.

Oops, my last comment should have concluded with “bless her heart.”

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. In her case it’s the knowledge of typing.

the West is falling through a rabbit hole into a dark fantasy realm

thank you, linda, i promise to double check and make sure that there are no snake handlers practising in the proctology department

bless her heart

There’s nothing biblical about an “intelligent Designer.” That’s nothing but a modern projection of technological and engineering concepts back onto ancient myth.

So the core image of Creationism itself is ripped off from godless science.

Hey now, some of the tinier thugs around here might take offense at that.

Hey, I’m a Southerner. We’re allowed to make good-natured fun of ourselves, like the gays and trannies and engineers.

not to be regionalist, but which southern state

Farrago, N.D.

I cannot be the first one to notice this at the end of her hysterical, they-are-all-in-on-it-Rosemary’s-Baby column…

‘Related Essay:

In the Shadow of Leviathan: America’s Arising Fear-Based Society”

What the fuck kind of word is “arising”?

Someone’s mom snacked on paint chips during the pregnancy, didn’t they?

Truly this creature hath caused to arise in me the greatest confusion. For if it truly be said that I am the bastard brat of a Scottish occultist merchant and if, moreover, my coevals and cohorts also descended from occult bloodlines and belonged to secret occult societies; and if it further be true that the express purpose of this “Renew America” collective is to return America to its (to couch it in Aristotelian rather than Platonic terms) first principles, then doth it not follow that the principles to which America doth pretend aspire are indeed those very same occult principles this cur wench doth rail passionately and imprudently against? Quod erat demonstrandum, baby.

Uh, so, by embracing science, the West is turning its back on reason and rationality? Gotcha.

I so wish I could find drugs that good.

OT: I guess war-whoring and column pablum more than pays the bills these days. Behold the digs of the Moustache of Understanding (h/t Balloon Juice):

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlDC/useless_information/fbdc_cribs_nyt_columnist__152514.asp

Western Pennsylvania?

Why the hate, John Cole? Why the hate? I saved all those fawning fan letters you used to send me, when you were for the war, before you were against it.

By the way, my writing does pay well but for the record, I also didn’t forget to remember to marry well. Really, really, really well.

Now let me tell you about this great idea I have for a play….

Quod erat demonstrandum, baby.

Ooooo, you speak French!

She’s got a Kentucky/Tennessee sort of face but the hair is pure Texas. Badly-advised Texas, at that.

The brain, well, Boschian is the only word I’m coming up with here.

Farrago, N.D.

Ooh, that’s good, that is. Negra Modelo?

Let’s not forget the the rest of the list: rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

“You said ‘rape’ twice.”

“I like rape.”

Ooooo, you speak French!

Dear Mr. Pere Ubu, Esquire,

We’ll be the pirate twins again.

Yours in Christ,

Alex

PS–
I hear Monsieur Jefferson harbors but little love in his heart for pirates. Har har.

Wait, I know where she’s posting from … it’s coming from inside the house!

Anyone catch this?

Uh, so, by embracing science, the West is turning its back on reason and rationality? Gotcha.

I so wish I could find drugs that good.

Using drugs could conceivably be seen as a way to embrace science(or at least certain products of science and the lab) and turn one’s back on rationality(at least temporarily).

no snake handlers practising in the proctology department

Interest!

Website? Newsletter?

Using drugs could conceivably be seen as a way to embrace science(or at least certain products of science and the lab) and turn one’s back on rationality(at least temporarily).

Well, the second works for Arnold Alkon

The boogeyman lives in her closet.

T4T–404 error at linky, so I’m gonna go with no, didn’t catch.

The extreme wordiness, the intellectual archness of this…word processing is interesting. I thought these people were supposed to be all Heartlandy and pragmatic and Gary Cooperish: what’s with the hyper-edjumacated tone here? What’s up with the fancy-pantsy homo references to the *Renaissance*? I thought only those ileets who think they are soooo much better than the rest of us, with their faggy college degrees and uneconomic thinking-type activities, even know what a Renaissance is, much less use all those 25-cent words.

Bastet is confused.

The fact is, liberals are really stupid.

Try again?

Well, anyway…

Thanks, Steer.

Aw, Gary, you forgot to mention how fat we are. Also: ugly. Also too: unemployed.

Gary! You’ve become a liberal!

You’re not regionalist, Woodrowfan. You really think a northern person would have hair like that?

weighing in a bit late here. but having spent 10 years in baltimore, the greatest city in america that reads, i’d say her hair is sort of north-jersey-come-mormon, her wallpaper’s definitely hampden, and it’s the shark-eyed deadpan stare that says Red State to me. if that’s regionalist please call me on it

“Webb’s main point is that since the Renaissance, a powerfully influential occult community existing at the highest levels of society has been both the intelligentsia and the real powers behind what has been variously called the Progressive Underground”

Aleister Crowley was a progressive? Do what thou wilt Obama.

and f*ck you with a rusty drain pipe word press.

“If we and our posterity…live always in the fear of God and shall respect His Commandments…we may have the highest hopes of the future fortunes of our country…. But if we…neglect religious instruction and authority; violate the rules of eternal justice, trifle with the injunctions of morality, and recklessly destroy the constitution which holds us together, no man can tell how sudden a catastrophe may overwhelm us and bury all our glory in profound obscurity.” Daniel Webster, Address to the New York Historical Society, 1852, “http://www.earstohear.net/Separation/warnings.html

Webster was pro slavery too which is also in the bible also.

Wingnuts like to say that our form of government comes from the bible notwithstanding that all societies mentioned in the bible are a monarchy including especially the “Kingdom of God.”

Lets start and declare victory with the case of 1st Am v. 1st Commandment. How do they reconcile “You shall have no other Gods before me” with “Freedom of relegion shall not be abridged?”

It also took 1800 or so years for this New Testament to produce a “Democracy”. Not very effecient for somebody so omnipotent and omniscient as God don’t you think. Oh, I forget, they don’t think.

Anyone want to wade further outside the boat and find out who this Saint Webb referred to by L-Kimb was, in the annals of wingnutty historians? Is he a David Barton, a Cleon Skousen, or a full-on Texe Marrs?

“Webb’s main point is that since the Renaissance, a powerfully influential occult community existing at the highest levels of society has been both the intelligentsia and the real powers behind what has been variously called the Progressive Underground”

First of all, a Progressive Underground has existed since the Renaissance? Second, I guess the “powerfully influential occult community existing at the highest levels of society [that was] both the intelligentsia and the real powers” before the Renaissance was the church? Maybe if they hadn’t failed so blatantly her team would still be in charge, impeding progress in all fields and telling us we were going to Hell if we didn’t love it. Go go team Progr-Und!

The Bible is very pro-slavery, pro-rape and pro-awholebunchofheinousshitthatnoself-respectingG_dwouldeverassociate themselveswith…

Also, G_d.

Penis?

It also took 1800 or so years for this New Testament to produce a “Democracy”

The founding fathers TOTALLY stole the idea from them heathen Athenians and the Roman Republic.

Fucking pagans and their democracy shite.

Anyone want to wade further outside the boat and find out who this Saint Webb referred to by L-Kimb was, in the annals of wingnutty historians?

Not sure, but his “Reunion” album with Glen Campbell sure made me see God…

and Alan Keyes wanted to be our linolium salseman from Illinois.

It’s the Trifecta, the Hat-trick, the Big Three. Finishing the job Jonah left two-thirds complete:

Liberals can now be called Communists, Fascists, AND Occultists.

Nicely, done!

Penis?

no thanks, already got one.

Anyone want to wade further outside the boat…

Sweet IPU (blessed be her garish unseeability) – 2,897 words. You could be wading in teh swamps for months.

Webb: link. He sounds legit, which makes me think she’s probably misread him.

I got off the boat. I had my “Creationist Bingo” card, I thought it would be fun, and it was… for a while.

But it kept going and going and going. So much bad writing, and so many lengthy quotes stacked in between. The only thing worse than listening to a boring person or a crazy person is listing to both of them in alternating passages.

When she stated that “there are three other versions of Naturalist evolutionism” without suggesting that there are others, and implying all three are equally common while only explaining one, I started walking back to the boat.

When I saw the header “What Some Scientists are Saying About Naturalistic Evolution”, I started going faster. Quote-mining, a present-tense header over quotes from the from 35-100 years ago…

I never even saw what it was that overtook me… everything just went black.

I had the same experience RodeoBob. Its almost like some paranormal force is guiding us. Very weird.

she must have gone to “low” school.

Maybe we should just except the existance of the Sky Fairy and the mischievious talking snake and water into wine stuff and all partake in the transubstantiated true body and true blood of J. Christ Lord and Savior and leave the mumbo jumbo hocus pocus to the liberal athiest Demoncrats.

If I had the power, I would totally do the whole water to wine thing. Jesus must have been very popular at high school parties.

partake in the transubstantiated true body and true blood of J. Christ Lord and Savior and leave the mumbo jumbo hocus pocus to the liberal athiest Demoncrats.

You misspelled “hoc est corpus.”

Regionist, Schmegionist. She’s an upstanding citizen of the You-nighted States of Waw-Mart. You can find her in all 50 states, in every city, town and village across the land. She’s the one cruising the aisles of the local library with a Sharpie and a list of “dangerous” books. She’s the one who always volunteers to teach Sunday school, and writes anonymous notes to the Synod about questionable things she’s heard the pastor say. She’s the one who goes to every single school board meeting, and sits up front, clutching her Bible. Before the internet, she’s the one who would write indignant letters to the editor of the local paper at least once a week. She’s the neighbor lady who comes home from church every Sunday, and clicks her tongue and shakes her head when she sees that your car hasn’t even left the driveway.

tig, I find your joke funny even though I don’t get it. “Hoc” I am pretty sure means before and “corpus” I know means body. Please explain your joke using good English words like Jesus would. To quote the baby Jesus, “And what the hell am I supposed to do with this frankinsense and myrr?”

“Hoc” means after. I was exactly wrong.

“Hoc est corpus meum” is from the communion, it means “here is my body.” Etymologically, “hocus pocus” is a corruption of it.

“Hoc est corpus meum” is from the communion, it means “here is my body.”

That’s what your mom said last night.

THIS is my body, not here. Hic is here.

Hey, man, there’s a lot of my mom to go around. Bless her heart.

That’s what she said.

Maybe unconsciously I was being witty in a very subtle way in re: hocus pocus? Athiestoliberalism works in mysterious ways.

OT, but can I just say that there is nothing funnier than watching CPAC?

That’s what I figured, GM, I was just playing along.

Just the witty part, not the unconscious part, I should clarify 😉

I dunno. I’m just having trouble understanding the premise.

Let’s see. Science is the occult. This means science is bad. I guess it follows that the occult is bad. But wait! Religion is good. So I guess religion is NOT occult. Ok, got that. But isn’t religion at least CLOSER to occult beliefs than science? Which is to say that religion would be WORSE than science? But the stated premise is that science is WORSE than religion.

Of course, the quantitative values are confusing too. We have three approaches to describing the universe. Religion, The Occult and Science. Science is described as being ineffectual, as is the occult, leaving the default assumption that it is religion that best describes the universe.

But I’ve never met a talking snake, and goddam it, that water just keeps on being water, and my friends just keep on being dead.

Ow ow OUCH. She makes my prefrontal cortex hurt…

mikey

hic haec hoc, people, hic haec hoc

What the fuck kind of word is “arising”?

It’s a clothe couthin of “athwart.”

I was never afraid of anything until this clever trailer park girl came along and dropped the Alice references.

And Linda Kimball is the White Queen who sometimes has believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

I did not get off the boat, nor will I. She actually brings up Blavatsky? What does she have to say about Gurdjieff?

to couch it in Aristotelian rather than Platonic terms

I giggled.

And Steerpike is correct: Whiskey Tango Disease knows no region, state line, nor country of origin. It merely is.

No, Linda, The Compleat Enchanter is _not_ a history book.

Holy Mackinaw Joe, she’s a prolix little thing though, isn’t she?

Linda is a team member of Grassfire, New Media Alliance, and MoveOff.

Venerable academic powerhouses one & all, I’m sure.

Alternate Shorter = the fact that a few early scientists (not to mention some of the loonier modernists & futurists, who were also socialists, ooga-booga!) dabbled in occultism means that ALL science is just another version of stabbing virgins on altars & chanting naked at the moon – because correlation totally equals causation.

Also, Christianity is the true source of goodness & rationality, so no hard feelings about the Dark Ages, the Inquisition or the Crusades, okay? Those must’ve been scientist-subversives disguised as clerics set on undermining the Mother Church’s cute-kittens-for-all doctrine.

I…I thought that MoveOff thing was a joke.

Man, it must be depressing to be a wingnut. No imagination. Hey, Linda, have you titled an article “Change We Can’t Believe In” yet? That never gets old! EVER!

Believing that bad people will burn for all eternity in hell, and that God has a compulsion to destroy the earth at intervals to destroy bad people because them burning in hell for eternity just isn’t punishment enough, makes nihilism look pretty rosy to me.

[religious ooga booga] makes nihilism look pretty rosy to me.

Yes, but you’re just aimlessly wandering in a spiritual desert of nihilism or spellbound, and are desperately trying to find meaning and purpose from mesmerizing ideologies.

MESMER!

But you know what, she was way ahead of her time. She accused the American Left of being child-indoctrinating atheist communists at least a year before Glenn Beck did.

Oh, I bet she’s a ball of fun at Book Club.

Or hell: Transcontinental flight. Seat next to yours.

“Stewardess? Do you have any confiscated box-cutters? Hmm? Yes, I need to kill myself. Of, course, in the aft lavatory? Happily.”

So are you saying she has been both the intelligentsia and the real powers behind what has been variously been called Glenn “crazy eyes” Beck?

Hermeneutics, Hermetics, it’s all the same to me.

I’m just having trouble understanding the premise

you libberuls and your reliance on facts and logic. you’ll never understand wingnuts that way…

if you want to understand linda’s “thinking” here, i suggest contemplating this money paragraph:

Essentiality, animism is the belief that not only is all of nature animated — including both living and non-living things — but that the animating force or spirit conveys power and influence. Western occult-pantheism speaks of animating spirit or soul while materialism speaks of miracle-producing ‘knowing’ energies that in their modern forms, animate and inform what can be viewed as either discarnate entities or ‘force and/or voice ideas’ called memes, genes, dialectical matter, chance, causation, determinism, evolution, and neurons, for example.

reduced to its simplest form, it states that ‘words and concepts i don’t understand might just as well be magic’. note that she supports this conclusion by stating “materialism speaks of miracle-producing “knowing” energies”, in apparant ignorance of the fact that 1) ‘materialism’ is a word found only in marxist theory, not science, and 2) the remainder of that particular assertion is unmitigated, pernicious, hallucinated fabrication exceeding anything even rush limbaugh has ever extracted from his posterior.

and she isn’t nearly halfway through…

At the very bottom of the page:

(See RenewAmerica’s publishing standards.)

RenewAmerica has standards?

IM IN YR DECLARATIONZ, GODWINING YR SIGNITCHERZ

1. Terrorism, by defintion, is making people scared to achieve a political goal.

2. Glenn Beck primarily tries to make people terrified, in order to advance his political agenda.

Ergo, and thusly, Glenn Beck is a terrorist.

Q to the motherfucking E. D.!*

*Flaccid Veiled PENIS reference.

Christianity should have never allowed itself to get so low rent. Sure you gotta put up with the poor, it’s sort of the whole point, but it should never have allowed itself to turn into this pulpit for morons.

As so often, I blame Martin Luther.

Essentiality, animism is the belief that not only is all of nature animated …

Her …, um…., explanation? is right up there with this. Except she’s serious.

She posts on the wingnut wonderland of Freerepublic under the name Lindykim. I’ve been enjoying her for years.

I couldn’t read it all, but she appears to be one step from writing religious screeds usually found tacked on a telephone pole.

Maybe she’s in recovery.

I did not get off the boat, nor will I. She actually brings up Blavatsky? What does she have to say about Gurdjieff?

Shhh! Don’t give her any more ideas.

I think she just dropped the word “Theosophy” into her goulash of occult-isms. I doubt she’d know anything about Blavatsky or Gurdjieff, or the difference between Theosophists, the Golden Dawn and the Loyal Order of the Water Buffaloes. I’m surprised the Bavarian Illuminati weren’t in the mix. Offended, actually, since I’m a card-carrying member.

applicants who meet the qualification requirements and are able to perform the essential functions of the position with or without reasonable accommodation

showing some basic human decency and providing jobs for those who, ya know, need and deserve them

Provinding jobs for people who need, deserve and are qualified for them. Yes, a horrifying concept and something up with which we must not put.

You know, this woman doesn’t know the first thing about science, doesn’t know the difference between the Big Bang, abiogenesis and evolution, and is barking insane to boot, but the part that pisses me off the most is this:

In the broad sense, and as used by the traditional Roman Catholic Church for instance, evolution merely refers to a rational process of development. In this view, after the transcendent rational, personal God created all things ex nihilo and then made man in His image, there commenced a rational process of development guided by Him. It is this process that some people refer to as evolution.

This paragraph is just bullshit. That is NOT the position of the Roman Catholic Church. It took the Church a long time to come around to evolution, but when it did it came (almost) all the way around. The position of the Church is that yes, evolution happened just the way Darwin said it did, except that at some point, God intervened to grant humanity a soul. Nobody’s going to get a PhD in biology for thinking this, but it’s a long way from the madness this woman spouts.

I don’t mind crazy or stupid so much, but lying just plain pisses me off.

As so often, I blame Martin Luther.

Not that I like Luther, who, coincidentally died 464 yrs. ago today (18 Feb) or Lutherans any more than the other delusional ninnies, but Re-Screw America is mostly ++wacky Catholics.

Like yesterday’s pagans during the declining days of the Greco-Roman civilization…

What do you think she’d do if she found out that Christianity was the state religion during that time? Probably not much.

As L. C. points out, bead-rattlers so nuts they don’t even acknowledge their own hierarchy’s teachings.

Like her use of “rational” three times in that three sentence paragraph, too.

“Who wants yesterday’s pagans …”

Smack my ass and call my Sally that’s a long article.

able to perform the essential functions of the position with or without reasonable accommodation

I was going to say that I couldn’t imagine a profoundly retarded person being able to work as a lawyer, even with “reasonable accommodation”, but it’s basically just a set-up for a punchline, isn’t it.

Guys, I thought I should tell you because you all seem relatively intelligent (minus that Alex Hamilton character). Anyway, she’s got it all wrong. I’m the true god, Duh!

Honestly, if the inverse relationship between global temperature and the total amount of worldwide pirates doesn’t make sense to you, Tommy will be come around and hit you in the head with tack hammer because you are a retard (used during satire so AOK!).

May you all be touched by My Noodly Appendage!

“Essentiality, animism is the belief that not only is all of nature animated — including both living and non-living things — but that the animating force or spirit conveys power and influence.”

Welcome to my world Linda.

I mean, that’s what’s up doc.

” was going to say that I couldn’t imagine a profoundly retarded person being able to work as a lawyer, even with “reasonable accommodation”, but it’s basically just a set-up for a punchline, isn’t it.”

Oirly Taits?

Damn that waskilly wabbit.

I dunno. She could well be the re-animated corpse of Susan Alamo.

I don’t remember the Alamo.

hic haec hoc, people, hic haec hoc

Huius huius huius!

No, Linda, The Compleat Enchanter is _not_ a history book.

Great Caesar’s ghost, a DeCamp & Pratt reference?

PeeJ, you’re the snake’s hips, man.

If these people are really so anti-science, why can’t they sign pledges to eschew all the fruits of science, specifically anything that involves the application of the Theory of Evolution? Hey, that penicillin resistant bacteria is evidence of natural selection- therefore, using Cipro mocks God.

Du hexen Hase.

FDWP

Linda de Logorrhea Kimballmoroni y van Assbroke de Locavilla

Oh, I bet she’s a ball of fun at Book Club.

You mean the Book Burning Club!

Du hexen Hase.

Adam, you been hitting the Alamout Black?

Here’s a funny, from the Sandwich itself:

We cannot shy away from thinking about revolution, and we must not swallow our thoughts without voicing them. Without open, frank discussion, with no idea taken “off the table” before ratiocination even begins, we would have no defense against well-thought-out, cleverly articulated radicalism that demands a hundred RPMs, revolutions per minute. Without grabbing the bull by the tail and looking bloody insurrection in the face, nothing will stand between us and the Bill Ayers and Joseph Andrew Stacks of the world.

Regardless of Michael Medved’s frets and fears, we must put on our manly gowns, gird our loins, and pull up our socks. Let’s talk, and stop worrying that pondering revolution and concluding that it’s preposterous in today’s America is going to “destroy the credibility” of… Americanism.

Actually Kim, teh drool is not teh secksie.

NEXT!

Needs more cliches. Should have taken the bull by the horns and pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps and looked one step ahead . . . like a carpenter . . . er building a staircase.

Also, is Joe Stack now a Liberal “elitist” and wasn’t he also that one black guy in “Goodfellows”?

we must put on our manly gowns, gird our loins, and pull up our socks

Not even a miniscule bit ghey.

Linda Kimball said,

Hermeneutics, Hermetics, it’s all the same to me.

You say tomato, I say Torquemada.

Here’s a funny, from the Sandwich itself:

He forgot the twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

“Essentiality, animism is the belief that not only is all of nature animated — including both living and non-living things — but that the animating force or spirit conveys power and influence.”

Transhumanism is the belief that not only will all of nature one day be CGI animated, but that the animating force or spirit will convey immunity to the tedious obligation to develop a social conscience.

For those unaware…

http://savethepublicoption.com/

Go ahead and call it another Lucy-and-the-football moment if you want. Personally, I think this one might actually have something to it, given the number of senators that have agreed to it. 23, I believe, out of 50.

Transhumanism

i’d rather have transhumance

but don’t mind me – i’m tired, and sore becuz somebody punched me in the hermaneutics

and MSVC can bite my unsigned shorts

I know you guys like to look down on religious types but….

You know what, I got nothing. Bitch is nuts.

He is a little better known in UK, particularly Scotland:

“linky!”

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flight-Science-Reason-Professor-Gross/dp/0801856760

fywp, that didnt come out the way I meant it too… but anyway, I go off the boat again for the other link, and got this far;

“For over forty years, the New Left–a collection of Marxists, Stalinists, Trotskyites, Maoists, and anarchist–has been waging a Gramscian style “quiet revolution” for the overthrow of Christianity and America’s Constitution, Rule of Law, sovereignty, and way of life. ”

What about the fucken Menchiviks.. we are never invited to the party.

and, and, does she even know what Gramscian means, for allah’s sake..

its only 10am on Friday morning, and boy do I need a drink…

It never occurred to me that up was down, black was white. Everything I thought that I knew is wrong! That means that there is a God after all! I can even say “you stupid liberals” now.

Oh…and….

I wonder what she looks like “down there.”

and we must not swallow our thoughts

not at all gey, not at all, duckie….

as im the only one here; more teh sandwich;

We see many examples in the world today; their follies and furies allow us to grope for our “general metric of revolution”:

why doesn’t he just come out the closet, and be done with it….

Nice shout out to Dawes Butler!

their follies and furies

I read that as “follies and furries”- makes more sense that way.

their follies and furies

I think he means doilies and furries, B^4

DawsButler said,

BooBew! There’s more than one way to steal a pickinick basket, yayhee!

Jesus, her description of Hegel is hilarious, and she enlists AN Whitehead in her screed? What a dumbass.

Hegel is hilarious

Yea, but Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

That’s not a real picture of a woman, right, HTML? You just photoshopped a blonde hooker wig onto a picture of Eddie Albert, right?

Right?

Oooh, I saw hair like that in Target a couple of weeks ago! I almost took a picture of it, because it’s been at least 5 years since I’ve seen a Bear Claw up close and personal.

She reminds me a little of a “blogger” who stumbled across my friends’ blog post about strap-ons and chided them for being dirty lezzies. We discovered that her blog was about her doll collection, low carb foods, and a 1,000 word essay on her favorite comb.

I attempted to get off the boat to see what all the hub-bub was about with this ‘pig writer. The many snippets of pseudo-philosophy that she dispensed in her column, excerpted here, attracted like a mother to an (old) flame.

I had to jump back in after just getting a toe wet. After her first sentence, even. Since

“…been turning their backs on the rational, personal God,…”

is like the MOA oxymorons, by logical (and Godelian) extension, everything that follows was bilgewater (more boat imagery).

And that bilgewater is the really bad kind! – diesel fuel, tranny oil, 4 month old food scraps from the galley, dead roaches, and leaking asbestos from the ancient cooler you bought at a garage sale to save money on normally-gross boat expenses.

I really don’t know how you guys managed to read any more of that brainless mush. A tip of the hat is due to all of you – thou are braver than I.

We discovered that her blog was about her doll collection, low carb foods, and a 1,000 word essay on her favorite comb.

Clearly, she’s a very clean lezzie….

How collectivism nearly killed the Pilgrims

http://joshfulton.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-lack-of-property-rights-nearly.html

I’m wondering if anybody checked her screed on one of the anti-plagarism websites that teachers use to check if essays their students turn in are just “borrowed”.

It’s like the high school stereotype dumb-jock quarterback turning in error-filled mess that his teacher gives an “A” to just to avoid the migraine that reading it would cause.

What’s with the wallpaper?

I don’t mind crazy or stupid so much, but lying just plain pisses me off.

Yeah, except the idea of lying implies knowledge of the subject matter and speaking of it in an insincere manner. Nothing in this article or that hairstyle indicates that Linda has any clue what she is talking about. Ever. I didn’t make it very far into her article, but I could only imagine her writing this drool and thinking My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

What’s with the wallpaper?

The home for the nervous got a special deal from the local Lowe’s.

this article still does not clear up my confusion on where god came from…

Without grabbing the bull by the tail and looking bloody insurrection in the face

That’s not the face you’re looking at.

nothing will stand between us and the Bill Ayers and Joseph Andrew Stacks of the world.

You’re inciting mass bloody revolutionary action because otherwise there might be…?

Regardless of Michael Medved’s frets and fears, we must put on our manly gowns,

Nothing manlier than a gown, I always think. Make sure it’s tight enough to show off your package.

we must put on our manly gowns,

Nothing manlier than a gown

Tig,

Obviously, she’s read Robert Graves’ “I, Claudius” (by way of Cornelius Tacitus) series, where he describes the Roman ritual of passage wherein a child of thirteen turns fourteen and must put on his “manly gown” (some sources claim this happened as late as seventeen).

Basically, there was a public ceremony where the boy donned the gown, gave a speech, and then got laid and joined the army.

The toga virilis came with many perks, if your father owned property, for example. For one thing, you got a special brocade that indicated you were the son of a senator or noble. For another, you got to duck public service. This was known as the Bushius exemptotum.

No, I figured it was referring to togas, I just wanted to make a joke. Though on second thought I should have referred to his sandwich rather than his package.

Paging Dr. Myers, Dr. P.Z. Myers…

I am absolutely certain now that I read this self-same screed on a Dr. Bronner’s bottle.

In case there hasn’t been enough fun on this thread, I thought I’d submit the following link: Why I’m Not a Conservative, By Selwin Duke, February 19.

Do we really know our right from our left?

There is something G.K. Chesterton called the “degrading slavery” of being a child of your age. It is the inability to think outside the box of time and place — and most people fall victim to it.

I think about this when I hear talk about “liberals” and “conservatives,” “right” and “left.” Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there aren’t differences between the groups those labels describe. I also often use the terms myself, as they do have provisional meaning. But they lack eternal meaning.

I just want to know why these folks keep picking on hermaphrodites? I mean, really!

waaay off topic: tsam — Spokane represent! i.e., at least I’ve got a job here!

And Linda Kimball is the White Queen who sometimes has believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

I thought that was this guy?

Broken link. This guy.