Agnolo Bronzino (prob. Jacopo Pontormo): “Portrait of a
Shitmoat Builder with Her Litter“(c. 1530)(soil on wood)
Oh goodness me. You let Amy Arnold Alkon out of your sight for just a few minutes and the next thing you know she’s up to her usual shit-moat antics again, this time obsessively trolling the Amazon comments thread for her new book Fuck You, You C–t, You’re Rude, a soon-to-be-remaindered how-to paperback currently busting the top of the Amazon charts at #65,682.1 For those who haven’t yet had the time to read Amy’s Arnold’s book, it retells various anecdotes in which Amy Arnold sought revenge on “rude” people, rude being defined as anyone who annoys Amy Arnold and includes just about anyone who isn’t Amy Arnold.
One of Amy’s favored revenge tactics is the Internet outing of anyone who suggests on the Internet that Amy Arnold might not be someone they’d “friend” on Facebook or even want to stand near in a checkout line. Her latest victim was an Amazon commenter nymed BookWorm222 who called Amy’s Arnold’s book “irritating” and “drivel.” Amy justified her own boorish and rude behavior thusly:
Unmasking people who behave badly, like this woman trying to hurt the sales of a book she clearly has not read, is precisely what I’m all about.
Leaving aside how one negative comment could hurt the Amazon sales of a book ranked #65,682, which according to some means a sales volume of around 5 entire books per month, Amy’s clear goal here is to try to intimidate anyone from posting negative reviews of her chef-d’oeuvre. And I think I’m safe in saying that this intimidation shouldn’t succeed. So, folks, if you’ve read the book, not liked it, and want to stand up for freedom of speech, tell Amy Arnold what you think of the book. Comedy points will be awarded (but only to people who’ve actually read the book) for 3, 4, and 5 star reviews (harder to get removed than 1 star reviews) with what my grandmother used to call “back-handed” compliments — for example, a statement that for a book written by someone whose mother tongue is Serbian, the book has a surprisingly small number of grammatical errors. Or a statement that even though Amy’s advice got you banned from Safeway, it was worth having to do your shopping in another store just to be able to scream your head off at the woman with a crying baby in the Safeway. Etc., etc., etc.
UPDATE: This, from
Amy’s Arnold’s blog, may explain a good deal of the erratic behavior on display in her book and her Amazon comment trolling:
I deal with some of the anti-drug paranoia surrounding my own ingestion of Ritalin. Sure, some people abuse it, but it helps me focus so I can write. And I’ve been taking the same 10 mg. dose for about 10 years. Better living through chemistry. It’s simply fantastic that I can take a pill, with almost no side-effects for me, apparently (according to an epidemiologist friend) and be better at what I do.
No side effects? Nuh-uh.
1To put this sales ranking in context, Amy’s Arnold’s book ranks somewhere in between Hitler’s Mein Kampf (in English) currently at #31,151 and Hitler’s Mein Kampf (in German) currently at #136,114.