Wankerspotting
The insufferable Paul Kennedy falls off the wagon:
A proper high-speed-train system would give hard-pressed air travelers a real alternative to the car and the plane. It is being done elsewhere. Domestic flights between Hamburg in northern Germany and Munich (612 kilometers) are shriveling because the high-speed trains do it better.
Deutsche Bahn’s ICE (Intercity-Express) takes roughly 6 hours to cover those 612 kilometers. So let us be the first to say that, even if flights between those 2 cities are shriveling, it isn’t because of the choo choo. Then again, it’s obvious that Paul is easily impressed and doesn’t know much about the trains that he does ride on:
When I am on study leave in Cambridge, in Britain, I can take a nonstop train to London twice a [sic] hour — and the trip takes less than 45 minutes. On disembarking at King’s Cross station[.]
It takes 49 to 52 minutes (link) to cover the equivalent of a 60-mile car trip. Hold on to you chapeau.
In fairness, it’s still faster than the M11.
And flights between Munich and Hamburg did shrink, but more because Olympic Airways contracted their service, thus giving Lufthansa a dominant position in the market and THEY cut back for economic reasons.
It’s not fair to make a straight comparison of travel-time between rail and air travel. For air, you have to factor in at least and extra 3-4 hours for getting to and from the airport, checking/retrieving luggage, going through security, submitting to a strip search and full-cavity exam, as well as the real chance of a full-scale 6-hour cock-up when the entire air terminal goes into lock-down standstill because someone sneezes with a middle-eastern accent.
I notice he’s fascinated by the exotic and elite high speed Chinese train but not so much the ones carrying workers from rural areas to cities which are so packed and do not stop and have no or too few facilities that people wear diapers so as to not merely shit their pants. Say what you want about our transportation system…
I’m with Steerpike. Rail can beat air if the frictional time getting on and off the jet is the same order as or larger than the time in the air. I’d like to see high-speed rail in America. Maybe if we somehow renamed the rail-building project into the War on Cows, imposed a $0.10 hamburger tax and told all patriotic ‘mericans to do their part…
I agree with Steerpike. Rail travel may take longer “in-your-seat” time than air travel, but rail (in Europe, at least, where passenger rail doesn’t ride freight-owned railways with the lowest priority) is pretty well guaranteed to take the listed amount of time. Air travel requires the additional estimation of the “getting to your seat” time, which may be significant, and the factoring of “the risk of additional hassle.” This may be why some studies that I remember reading (but not where, dammit) suggest that for distances less than 500 miles, rail is the most cost-effective method of moving people. For greater distances, air travel wins, if I remember correctly. So for Hamburg-Munich, rail could very possibly beat air.
I notice he’s fascinated by the exotic and elite high speed Chinese train but not so much the ones carrying workers from rural areas to cities
In his view, poor people are neither here nor there.
I think rail travel is not only worthwhile but inevitable.
While Kennedy may have been completely douche-y in his justifications, that doesn’t disqualify the argument for rail over air travel. Considering the extreme measures that we now have to endure for “security” purposes on air, rail could take as long as walking, as far as I’m concerned, and it would still be preferable to the humiliation and degradation of the Friendly Skies.
Wanker 1 gets on a train travelling from Cambridge to London at 9.30. Wanker 2 boards a train travelling from London to Cambridge at 10.00 Wanker 1’s train travels at 65 mph. Wanker 2’s train travels at 70 mph.
Question: Is it too much to hope football hooligans throw both wankers off the train?
He’s insufferable but I won’t bash him for hyping HS rail. Any reail promo – HS or non – in the US is wlecome.
argh “rail promo”
I’m not sure why the original post had such a snarky tone. Is there some history here I’m not aware of?
Obviously it’s less stressful and undoubtedly faster to travel by train from London to Cambrige than by car, since driving into and out of London is one of the least pleasant things you could ever do.
You can also take a high speed train from Paris to Lyon in 2 hours and 3 minutes – a distance of around 425 kilometres – now that’s what I call high speed train travel.
Question: Is it too much to hope football hooligans throw both wankers off the train?
Answer: Keep Hope Alive!
~
That’s inter-city rail for ya!
Additionally, they let you get way more drunk on a train than they would on an airline.
Therefore, high-speed rail is the way to go.
Q.E.D.
I’m not sure why the original post had such a snarky tone. Is there some history here I’m not aware of?
I don’t get it either, especially the London-Cambridge bit. “It takes 49 to 52 minutes to cover the equivalent of a 60-mile car trip.” Uh, what’s the issue? Is it that Kennedy’s time estimate was off by 5 minutes? Is it that the train trip doesn’t seem all that fast? (I doubt you could drive those 60 miles in 49 to 52 minutes.)
Rail travel in the US is rudimentary outside the Northeast Corridor. *Inside* the Northeast Corridor, however, it’s pretty damn good. I can do the NYC->Boston route in 4.5 hours (3.5 if I shell out a few extra bucks for the Acela), and it’s definitely the best way to get there. (Car and bus are both cheaper, but they’re easily messed up by snow or snow-related accidents; flying is more expensive, less reliable, and more of a hassle.)
The snark goes with the blog. Besides — I like the train travel, but if you’re going to pick out some examples to argue it’s great, at least pick ones that are real. Cologne-Frankfurt-Stuttgart comes to mind in Germany. And if you’re going to quote numbers, quote them accurately.
There are quite a few connections within Europe where high speed trains operate, but if I had to single out a travel-related development in Europe in the last several years it would be the growth of no-frills airlines.
Isn’t the Berlin-Munich train route currently running at half capacity because omgitscold and some trains broke down? Or is that fixed by now?
And, if I want to, zum Beispeil, fly from Berlin to Paris a few months from now, I can get round trip tickets on EasyJet for about 70 Euro total. Same route by train, besides taking a ridiculously long time, costs about 200-270 Euros round trip.
Also, the Berlin S-Bahn (run by Deutsche Bahn) has been completely fucked up for about half a fucking year now. Meanwhile the U-Bahn (run by BVG) is just fine. So fuck a bunch of DB.
Additionally, they let you get way more drunk on a train than they would on an airline.
Also, you’re not crammed into one of those fucking awful seats, and you can get up and MOVE if you accidentally ended up next to a screaming baby, a morbidly obese person who spills into your seat, or a guy who looks like he’s got typhoid, swine flu, and the black plague all at once.
Also, when you get up to take a piss, nobody screams at you to sit down and buckle your seat belt.
Also, the Northeast Corridor route goes through some really pretty terrain.
On a more pressing note, is the American Milk Solids Council going to send a delegate to this little soiree?
Also, I like trains. HSR would be nice, but it’s a tough sell in the west. A few routes could make sense, and I hope they don’t fuck up the California project too badly. Light rail is a fine thing as well. Streetcars FTW. What can I say, I like trains.
Oh, and train sex is hotter than plane sex. Streetcar sex might get you in major trouble, though.
Here in Los Angeles, one thing would make a ton of difference in traffic: a monorail that shoots out the 10 freeway to and from downtown LA to the westside. The main train station is downtown, and going north or south from there on trains is great now. But everyone on the populous westside has to go twenty miles to get downtown in the first place.
It’d only cost a billion or two, and think of the Chinamen it would put to work on construction.
There seems to be an awful lot of hostility towards this guy. Yeah, he’s a prick, but he’s not saying anything especially prickish here.
And I relish the idea of having decent HSR in the United States. I’ve taken the “exotic and elite high speed Chinese train” to and from Beijing. It was reasonably comfortable (if very no-frills) and improbably efficient. My ticked said that the train left at 3:18, and that’s where it left, to the minute. Compare that to the Amtrak train I took to Chicago and back, which was several hours late going both directions. It was a nice ride, when the train was actually moving.
Oh, and train sex is hotter than plane sex.
Not when it’s the Berlin –> Krakow night train and the border guards are banging on your door demanding to see your passport. If one were ever to be in such a situation which I can hardly imagine.
to be fair, the first time a bomb goes off on a highspeed train, all of those insane airport provisions will get put on rail. Granted, a train isn’t going to be driven into a building, but one could still kill several hundred people on a train going 100 mph without a lot of effort.
I dunno. Letting someone get away with saying “under 45 minutes” when the schedule clearly states 49-52 minutes is exactly the kind of thing the Bush administration did for eight years. In other words, facts matter, and if you’re not going to bother to look them up, you’re an asshole. It’s so lazy to make assertions which are easily disproved by three minutes of research, not to mention insulting to the intelligence of your readers. On the other hand, more rail please. Here in Massachusetts our passenger rail system has less range than it did in the 1850s. How is that even possible?
On a more pressing note, is the American Milk Solids Council going to send a delegate to this little soiree?
I’m not going until they invite Alan Keyes to speak. Fair is fair.
Also, the Northeast Corridor route goes through some really pretty terrain.
==========================================
Butt it stinks.
It is truly pathetic how slow the NE Corridor is, after all these years. I used to use that route routinely back in the 1970s, and this is all we get after all these years?
FAIL
~
Back in the early days of cinematography – when the video-montage of images went by while the main characters were fucking you would often get powerful locomotives thrusting into tight tunnels, but nary an aeroplane would make these great clips, meaning that trains = sex and planes do not, therefore trains and incoherently long sentences win.
I just took the shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto. 2 hours! And they bring Pocky, Kirin, and some Aussie wines! And everyone bows when the enter or leave a car! And you can see random graveyards in the middle of cultivated fields!
That’s all. I have nothing constructive to add. I’m totally just bragging. Neener neener!
That’s all. I have nothing constructive to add. I’m totally just bragging. Neener neener!
Yah yah yah.
Just cause you gots hello kitty.
~
Whass to stop a terrorist takin’ ova a train and, god forbid, drivin’ it into tha White House?
Don’t underestimate the throbbing sexual intensity of a fully inflated zeppelin sliding into its hangar.
“I’m not going until they invite Alan Keyes to speak.”
Keyes doesn’t speak, he barks.
“99% of dogs don’t speak English?.”
“Keyes doesn’t speak, he barks.”
hmmm…. I may be on to something here.
Looks like someone’s snark sprayer went off, err, half-cocked. A train journey omits all the above-cited hassles related to security theater and baggage mishandling but it adds the advantage going from city to city, rather from large confusing fustercluck near one city to another that might or might not be near another.
Oh, and train sex is hotter than plane sex.
Not when it’s the Berlin –> Krakow night train and the border guards are banging on your door demanding to see your passport. If one were ever to be in such a situation which I can hardly imagine.
One might think that the TGV has hidden cameras in each car, what with how quickly smirking conductors appear, inquiring about the pleasantness of the trip so far.
Don’t underestimate the throbbing sexual intensity of a fully inflated zeppelin sliding into its hangar.
The most famous picture of a zeppelin is exploding before it is inserted into a hanger.
Your assumption that driving from Cambridge to London would be speedy is very obviously not based on experience.
Paul Kennedy is
ArtoisAtrios?(somebody had to….)
He can take a 45-minute train ride twice an hour? WITCHCRAFT
Seems about the same to me. It’s moving, but I’m still alone in a room and sad.
I’m familiar with the second route he’s talking about, having lived in Cambridge for more than a decade and driven regularly on the M11 (which would be the alternative road route until you hit the M25).
If you think that you could drive from Cambridge to King’s Cross in 49 to 52 minutes, then I’m sorry but you have absolutely no fucking clue what you’re talking about. No. Fucking. Clue.
Sorry
Substance, you win this thread.
Substance, you win this thread.
I’M not going to shake his hand.
I’M not going to shake his hand.
H8erz!
~
The problem with having sex with trains is then you have to sit and listen to them whine about how underappreciated they are compared to planes.
El Cid’s comment sheds new light on most Thomas the Train Engine plotlines…
That said, you can count on trains to pretty quickly ‘pull into the station,’ if ya know what I mean, whereas yer prima donna airplanes have to spend hours just shuffling about and waiting on the tarmac.
i will not google any of this for rule 34 verification. i refuse.
whereas yer prima donna airplanes have to spend hours just shuffling about and waiting on the tarmac.
Or worse yet circle around and around without ever coming in for a landing.
I hope g will explain it all.
~
Sugared Demogorgon with Peppered Toads
I think I am a cheap tactician at heart sometimes. Ok, the part of this meal that people really like is the balucitherium egg.
Ingredients:
1 cup demogorgon
1 toad
1 ounce joyful zucchini
4 gallons balucitherium egg
1 pound butter
1 pint rosemary
Falsely grease a cookie sheet. Separate demogorgon eye from skull. Consume skull. Mash the toad with the zucchini over high heat in a cup. Stuff the resulting potion into the demogorgon. Glaze – very vastly – the balucitherium egg, butter, and the rosemary. Mush everything together. Fry in porcupinefish oil for 149 hours. Serves 4.
Plus you have to listen to ’em tell you they constantly dream about themselves going into tunnels.
Having never been to england… I hear the traffic in london is incredibly bad.
Dont they have a service where a motorcycle driver will drive you from the airport into london, becouse traffic is so bad.
Isnt there a charge of 25 Lb. for driving into central london?
I must visit this country.
O/T: As the last paragraph makes clear, having a mentor who claims God is punishing America can be circled and underlined in the IOKIYAR* column.
http://www2.starexponent.com/cse/news/local/article/McDonnell_Cabinet_to_take_unspecified_pay_cuts/49786/
*And both parties are white, duh.
i often dream of trains
when i’m alone
Here’s a funny little tidbit about the Teabagger convention:
Tea Party Nation is pleased to announce the First National Tea Party Convention to be held February 4-6, 2010 at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel in Nashville, TN.
Can we call them gaylords now?
i often dream of trains
when i’m alone
I ride on them into another zone.
I can see the headlines now:
Teabaggers Converge on Gaylord
Gaylord Hosts Teabaggers
Took a train from central Paris to Montpellier, a distance of 470 miles. Took three hours, and as completely hassle free. Unlike driving in France, where travelling a distance of 5 miles in a car gives a 50% probability of death.
The guy’s an insufferable wanker, but high speed rail is super cool.
while the main characters were fucking you would often get powerful locomotives thrusting into tight tunnels, but nary an aeroplane
The wings get in the way, is why, for a start, also.
Wierd this. Fast is great obviously, but supertrains and their sluggish cousins are good for so many other reasons besides.
Favorite train journey was/is Paris-Nice, can’t remember exact times but the fucker hooned it to marseilles at some 200+mph and then hung a left for a more leisurely stint along the riviera. Unbelievably civilized, spectacular, and on time.
Nother memorable one is Munich-Milan – which does a wide arc round thru austria. (reverse journey is Milano-Monaco to totally screw with tourists.) All pretty efficient and schnell until you hit the Brenner Pass when the German engine gets decoupled and some crappy italian loco takes over. Still, it’s all civilized, and the only way to travel when cash is tight.
Tunnels, heh, heh.
A ‘gaylord’ is one of my favorite qualifications of volume, being, roughly, a cubic pallet. One buys recycled plastic by the gaylord. Or recycled political lunacy also, too.
The 14:15 from Split to Zagreb, during the summer. Unbelievable for the rivers and gorges, and the terrain flattens around sundown, a half hour before the end.
In Europe, if the train trip is over 6 hours and you don’t have much luggage, it’s better to fly. Amsterdam to Paris is 4 hrs or less. To London by Eurostar when the Chunnel isn’t frozen is 5 hrs, but Amsterdam to Berlin or Leipzig is pushing it.
Amsterdam-Venice, for instance, is almost 2 days, since you sleep overnight and pull into Basel at 6am (yuck) after crossing the Alps while you’re asleep, change for Milan, then change again for Venice.
Er, what was the question?
Been there, done that:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TGV
Resulting security theater: None.
W@nkerspotting at the WaPo… Shorter Gerson today:
St Brit Hume’s critics are unAmerican
The wings get in the way…
Hook-up Fearlessly at least until you’re deemed not safe for public consumption.
The ICE and the next generation AGV still rule. Brussels to Paris will take just 60 minutes (currently it is 82). Eurostar will have to get its act together (keep in mind, that’s a private sector train…see in Europe the private sector sucks ass and the socialist trains run on-time).
Trains are greener, just as safe, and if there’s still a USA in ten yeas, we’ll have to drink the high-speed kool aid. Acela is not high speed. Boston to New York should be 2 hours, not 4.
Will the Teabaggers be Gaylording or will the Gaylords be Teabagging?
I remember when the TGV was first rolled out in 1981. French president François Mitterrand was filmed for a promotional video, and his giant middle finger to economic rivals was him in the first class cabin, having a glass of champagne poured, and him kicking back at 200 MPH while the glass sits still. He smirks, as if to say, “Maggie, Ronnie…..SUCK IT.”
It was a beautiful moment for France.
El Cid:
I think it will be the former.
Boston to New York should be 2 hours, not 4.
Ideally. Seems like Amtrak could run direct Boston-NY Acela trains without losing much–there aren’t THAT many people who get on at Providence or the Connecticut stops. That said, I don’t know if you can *really* do super-high-speed rail with all of the grade crossings that are on that line, but I know very little about this. (I do know that there are other issues related to the track and the overhead catenary wires.)
The trouble is that, as long as it’s nicer than flying (which it is), there’s no real incentive to shell out the dough to make it even faster. Speeding up NY->Washington might still be useful.
to be fair, the first time a bomb goes off on a highspeed train, all of those insane airport provisions will get put on rail. Granted, a train isn’t going to be driven into a building, but one could still kill several hundred people on a train going 100 mph without a lot of effort.
Especially if the fuckers decide to blow it up WHILE IT’S SITTING IN PENN. Damnit.
Rudy Giuliani is tired of people thinking that there were any domestic terrorist attacks under Bush, because there weren’t. Shut up.
On the perfidy of saying that it takes 45 minutes to get from Cambridge to London or vice versa, when the schedule says it is 49 to 52 minutes, I subsequently recall that under the UK privatisation regime, train companies have an incentive to overstate the official length of the service. This is because if the company states that it should normally take 45 minutes but it sometimes takes longer then they get demerit points, but if you say that it normally takes 49 to 52 minutes and it nearly alway takes 45 minutes, then you have fulfilled your charter requirements and are more likely to get a renewal of your contract (make the trains run on time!!!)
So I suspect that the Professor was talking about his actual experience rather than being too lazy to look up the train schedule.
UK listeners can probably confirm whether I am talking through my hat or otherwise.
However, I did live in the UK in the period of rail privatisation, one of the most striking examples of taking something that wasn’t broke and “fixing it “.
Let’s not be coy – good high speed train systems are essential to the survival of the planet.
“Teabaggers converge on Gaylord” will be an awesome headline.
Is there a chance maybe they can be convinced to pull out (hee hee) and move it to another hotel? Their whining would be hilarious…
An addendum:
The UK does not have good high speed rail system – it has a moderately good medium speed rail system, which is a lot more than one can say for my home country
Rudy Giuliani sez there were no domestic terror attacks under Bush Jr. and one under Obama.
Still, it’s all civilized
well, now we can see why it will never be successful in America.
well, now we can see why it will never be successful in America.
It aint that – it’s all those tunnels! The sex obsessed REAL AMERICANS will have fits. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!
Gaylords are a gang in Chicago. I shit you not.
You sick libruls should never have been making fun of Tila Tequila and her special way of dealing with her grief.
That street gang site is very informative:
‘Hey, I know sign-ups for the softball team have been down for next year, but I have an idea…’
Heh, I’ve been playing on the same softball club for 25 years now. Apparently I’m a gangsta now! Watch out for those bloody bastards on the Brew Crew! They may be all over 50 now but they are a GANG now. Yeah right. Although, I must admit, if the beers not cold after the game we do get a bit riled
I always knew 9/11 was a hoax you dirty blue-staters perpetrated to make us Real Merkins feel sorry for you for a couple of days.
I mean, thank God George W. Bush was president during 9/11, right?
Otherwise…it wouldn’t have happened, uh, under not his term.
Against my better judgment I watched the Mr. 9/11 clip. Giuliani is just amusing for his ridiculousness. What pisses me off is Georgie Steph just lets it roll right by. THAT is the real problem – not the whinger’s lies but the media’s complicity in dispensing them.
Yes, George W. Bush was President during the aftermath of 9/11/2001, and right before it, but what you libruls don’t understand is that during the actual minutes of the attacks, Bill Clinton was President. Duh.
What pisses me off is Georgie Steph just lets it roll right by.
Exactly. Fucking seriously. It’s not like the right-wingers could get away with throwing a fit and shitting their pants if he called him on it, as even the most illiterate moron in this country knows that Bush was president in 2001. I don’t fucking get it.
And can someone please explain to me why Giuliani would say this in the first place? Are they starting a campaign to erase the facts of September 11 from people’s memories? Or is he just a dumb asshole who mis-spoke?
jedi> There’s been no anthrax here. These are not the terrorist attacks you are looking for. Move along. /jedi
And can someone please explain to me why Giuliani would say this in the first place?
Because “George W. Bush kept us safe was their entire 2004 campaign and the line they took for the 7 years after he didn’t “keep us safe” on 9/11 whenever they were challenged about the multitude of other fuck-ups over which they presided.
One thing you can say for Republicans: they are consistent. No matter how many times a lie is debunked, they will continue to use it (remember Saddam’s WMDs? Palin’s Bridge to Nowhere?); no matter how many times their ideological prescriptions are shown to be disastrous, they will continue to shill for them.
Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, and minds don’t get any smaller than in today’s GOP.
OT- heh, PENIS
“I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment.”
…for the calf, right? If it were a different animal–say, an alligator–then it would be torment for a different reason.
There were no domestic terror attacks while Sarah Palin was President from August – November of 2008.
I liked how they left that open-ended so you could fill in the details.
Nothing like New Jersey’s finest doing this. It wasn’t one calf, it was five. Looking at his girlfriend, I wonder if verisimilitude is a possible defense. “Hey! I thought it was my girlfriend! Oh!”
She’s a real winner too, charged with sexual assault of young humans.
Heeeeey! I Got a used Leather Jacket you can buy real cheap, Rudy.
Speaking of changing the subject, …
OT but since FYIGM is such a common utterance in these parts I would like to share this with y’all.
“For the love of God! Just shut him up!”
Hamburg-Berlin would be a better example. Only that domestic flights on that route aren’t shriveling, because no direct connections exist anymore between these cities (the two biggest in the country). They don’t exist because they couldn’t compete with the ICE.
Also maybe look at Hamburg-Hannover, Frankfurt-Munich or somesuch. Hamburg-Munich ist a stupid example for something that’s actually not wrong. And even so I’m sure those air routes would be much busier if no high-speed train connections existed, no?
From Willy’s PENIS.
Wouldya believe that I called that one six months before Judge Morley?
@RudiG y’know, if it hadn’t been for that attack, none of us would even know who the fuck you are.
FYWP
this
PeeJ, that picture looks like it’s here to kick ass and chew gum, and it’s all outta gum.
OT but Crunchy Con is dead, long live Crunch Con. More importantly, Rod Dreher has a Wii and I am very embarassed.
To be fair, it also goes through some of the worst, ugliest, most third world shantytown terrain in the country as well. 🙂 Check out what you see of Baltimore for example.
That said, I’m all for rail, don’t really get the snark, and intend to use rail over air unless its completely impossible. I won’t put up with the bullshit security crap or being treated worse than a calf destined to become veal any longer.
Trains are comfortable.
Fucking Georgie doesn’t so much as flinch. What a useless sack of steaming shit.
How can anybody hear that statement and not even perk up their ears? Seriously, when was it that it became okay for people to state obvious and blatant untruths on the talk shows with zero fear of being called on it? Didn’t it used to be that there was a line that if people crossed they would get at least a polite “I don’t think so” if not a total slap down? Saying something like that is just an insult, to the interviewer as well as the viewers. Crap. Nothing is too much for these clowns.
More importantly, Rod Dreher has a Wii and I am very embarassed.
I have one, too. I don’t know if that should make you feel better or worse.
I think Rudy just meant no attacks on ‘real America’ until now.
After all, D.C. and New York are part of “Socialnazislamicommihomo America”
Is Detroit real America now? I thought it was full of the ‘urban’ element, and relatively close to Dearbornistan, and thus entirely cut off from real America.
You know that is a good point.
In fact, the correlation is astounding.
Right Wingers scream their hate for an American city and all of sudden that city is the target of terrorism.
Have we stumbled upon a conspiracy?
Why the fuck don’t you use our system, which beats the shit out of everywhere else in the fucking world? We at least deserve a mention, you ungrateful sons of bitches.
Tokyo to Osaka in 3 hours and 25 minutes. And you can leave ANY GODDAMN TIME YOU WANT.
Someone actually wrote a letter to the editor here locally that said that a guy with an Islamic name boarding a flight to fly to the airport where the highest percentage of Islamic-Americans live should have set of all kinds of red flags! WTF? The logic…Spock is spinning in his grave. Or will be when the future gets here.
How about a shout out for the Spanish AVE? An hour from Madrid to Cordoba, and another hour to Seville when I was there. Wikipedia says they’ve cut that to 40 minutes. It probably still takes forever to get to Granada from anywhere, though.
The future is……Now. No, wait, NOW. No, sorry, wait a sec….
Have we stumbled upon a conspiracy?
Just parallel evolution at work, I think. Although I can’t really figure why Islamic extremists would hate Detroit for the same reasons our American extremists do.
The best I can work out is Muslims in the Great American Satan must be seen as collaborators of the worst sort. But I don’t even know if that’s true.
Fuck all that faggy train shit.
Where is my goddamned flying car, huh?
yeah, given the skill at driving normal cars that most people demonstrate, I can’t WAIT until those vehicles are also suspended in midair…..
It will be zombie smorgasbord down here on the ground. Hungry? Just wait a minute, and a fresh meal will fall out of the sky.
And the only work on robot-butlers seems to be the work of the Japanese, and they’re just doing it so they can sell sex dolls to Glenn Reynolds.
You can see how it was an easy mistake to make. For Rudy, 9/11 wasn’t so much a terrorist attack as a political coup.
It’s not a coincidence that new plans for U.S. high speed rail are heavily incorporating lessons learned from the AVE system.
And partly that’s the direct involvement of Spain’s RENFE (Spanish national railway system):
Just parallel evolution at work, I think.
Sick, twisted minds think alike?
It certainly is a sound hypothesis.
Where is my goddamned flying car, huh?
Fuck all that girly-man flying car stuff. Where is my transporter?
Although I can’t really figure why Islamic extremists would hate Detroit for the same reasons our American extremists do.
I was in Kashmir during some bombings, riots, and the subsequent government crackdown. The consensus among the people that I talked to was that it was all part of a gentleman’s agreement between the militant separatists in Kashmir and the Hindu hard right in the rest of the country. Every election mysteriously coincides with unrest in Kashmir. The separatists get more money, political power, and recruits, while the Hindu extremists get more money, political power, and recruits. Everyone wins except for everyone else.
Whatever happened to the “Rapture”? For 40 years before and the Ten since 2000 they’ve been promising to leave.
Not to mention that the only reason anybody knows him is that Bush ran and hid on 9/11. I suppose that if that day is the only thing you can recall, it might be excusable to think Bush wasn’t President.
Hey everybody! I made the paper! First paragraph, even.
Also, the “meet and greet” was, alas, cancelled so I didn’t get to fake him out with a bottle of Tullamore as was suggested here.
Fuck all that girly-man flying car stuff. Where is my transporter?
Transporter shmansporter, where’s my ascendance into a being of pure energy?
First paragraph, even.
Well, I guess you’re a someone now.
PeeJ: I like how Hitchens plays this game where he thinks he can answer any critique of U.S. policy in Iraq or Afghanistan by suggesting you’re morally equivalizing the U.S. army with the Taliban, so, obviously, the conclusion is fuck you and why do you hate the troops and love medievalist murderers, etc. etc. etc.
Congrats, Peej!
BTW do you do weddings and funerals? I have a lot of horrible relatives and could use a good heckler.
Transporter shmansporter, where’s my ascendance into a being of pure energy?
Obviously, you haven’t read The Celestine Prophecy.
*gag*
you’re morally equivalizing the U.S. army with the Taliban
“Bullshit!”
That is exactly the way it went down.
Hey everybody! I made the paper! First paragraph, even.
Congrats!
I love the headlines, by the way. It could have been used for any Hitchens appearance in the last eight years.
Fuck all that girly-man flying car stuff. Where is my transporter?
You need a transporter? What, you a fag or something?
From the comments over at MM,
OT – via Crooked Timber.
Fuel for the architect-engineer war:
Number 33 versus Number 86.
Plus a nyah nyah to Number 163212.
Also, glad I started into investigative journalism because reporter is 184th but neither “ascended being of pure energy” nor “dude what yells PENIS at inappropriate times” are listed at all.
Obviously, you haven’t read The Celestine Prophecy.
I haven’t. And I bet you’re jealous.
This is hilarious…classic Liberal Doublespeak.
You guys are COMPLETE LIARS as anyone who says “no attaks under Bush” means SINCE 9/11.
Obviously, anyone who says “we have always been at war with Eastasia” means “SINCE we stopped always being at war with Eurasia” so doublespeak YOU ARE!!
dude what yells PENIS at inappropriate times
Incidentally PeeJ, missed opportunity?
D-KW, you cannot imagine the depths of my envy.
After that jerk-around, I stopped paying any attention whatsoever to what most of the people I meet think is a “good book” and adopted the same rubric for “good movies”.
“But reporting what they say as if they really believe is dishonest, yet not surprising as we know that dishonesty is the cornerstone of Liberalism”
So Republicans don’t actually believe what they say and acting as if they do is dishonest. Good to know that Fox News is considered the most dishonest media outlet around, even by conservative standards.
The logic…Spock is spinning in his grave.
According to the JJ Abrams movie, Spock never dies (depending on how you interpret time loops).
In non-Trek matters, does anybody have any idea what this “no terrorism during Bush years” is supposed to mean? Most wingnut claims are plausible if you apply wingnut axioms and wingnut logic. That is to say, it is usually possible to figure out how they got there, even if no sane person would reach the same conclusion. Maybe it hinges on some unique wingnut definition of “domestic” or “under his watch”? Or “happened”?
But I can’t figure it out. To me it’s just Winston Smith and his friends shoveling data into the memory hole and hoping nobody will notice. Of course, since none of these stuffed shirts on TV does notice, I guess it’s working. Once the Texan Board of Education gets hold of it in twenty years or so, the history books will all say that no terrorist attacks ever took place while Bush was president.
“Bullshit!”
That is exactly the way it went down.
Ha! When I read this: “and the word in question was the same one fans at basketball games chant when they disagree with a referee’s call,” I thought you had shouted “wanker!” Then I realized that I’ve been watching too much soccer. (By “watching,” I mean reading a book while it’s on TV in the same room).
Maybe it hinges on some unique wingnut definition of “domestic” or “under his watch”? Or “happened”?
I’ve seen someone claim that attacks weren’t “domestic” because the people who carried the attacks out weren’t from the U.S.
Yeah. Ponder that one for a while.
It would have been inappropriately inappropriate. So, no.
Er, umm,… FYWP
Er….ummm. oh fuck me.
I’ve seen someone claim that attacks weren’t “domestic” because the people who carried the attacks out weren’t from the U.S.
I thought it might be something like that. Of course, that doesn’t cover the anthrax thing (which appears to have been domestic by all possible interpretations of that word), and it doesn’t apply to the crotch rocket guy either (since he was not from America, just flying to America), but it’s as likely as anything else. I see above that somebody is claiming “while Bush was president” should be interpreted to mean “after September 2001″ which still doesn’t cover the anthrax thing, or the shoe bomber and anyways…
Holy shit people. If somebody had managed to massacre 3000 Americans in September of 2009 Obama would have been beheaded in front of the reflecting pool and his head stuck atop the Washington monument by now. Does anybody doubt this? Why does Bush get a damned mulligan?
I’ve seen someone claim that attacks weren’t “domestic” because the people who carried the attacks out weren’t from the U.S.
Yeah, but neither was the panty bomber. Also, the anthrax attacks did come from within the US. There must be some way, however implausible, to make the facts fit the truth. Come on, folks, there’s a lot of wingnut welfare in it for you!
Feckin Canadians with their sharp, typey fingers.
Spock never dies (depending on how you interpret time loops).
Ahem, Spock croaked at the end of the second movie. He’s paid his dues.
Ooh…Oooh…Ooh!!! I’ve got it! There were no terrorist attacks during the George Herbert Walker Bush years!!! Take that lyin’ libs!!!
I’ve seen someone claim that attacks weren’t “domestic” because the people who carried the attacks out weren’t from the U.S.
and
There were no terrorist attacks during the George Herbert Walker Bush years!!! Take that lyin’ libs!!!
Is a two-fer!
I’ve got it, I’ve got it.
The anthrax attacks were the work of a government employee, who as we know, don’t count as real Americans. Unless it’s the work of a non-government employed individual, it can’t be domestic.
And the shoe bomber attempted his attack in the air, so it wasn’t on U.S. land. So it can’t be domestic. This also works for 9/11, incidentally.
Goddamn libs using facts again! That’s totally unfair! Facts are socialest!!
Whups, got my decades mixed up. I blame
too much playing with my WiiObama.I blame too much playing with my Wii
Is that what the kids are calling it?
Let us not forget that blowing up a health clinic for providing abortions is ‘the sword of justice’ NOT terrorism.
m,kay?
I blame too much playing with my Wii
Is that what the kids are calling it?
If you are doing it right, a whole decade can zoom by just like that. Or so I’ve been told.
But reporting what they say as if they really believe is dishonest…
This guy must be a relative of the press secretary of Chicago’s Mayor Daley the Elder, who said, “It was damned poor reporting. They should print what he means, not what he says.”
I’ve often said that if Al Gore had been allowed by the Supreme Court to be President — having been actually elected and all — and had he somehow entered a coma and been as slack and hostile about terrorism warnings as Bush Jr. & Fourthbranch were, and had 9/11/2001 happened the same way…
Then a day or two after that right wingers would have been showing up by the thousands with torches and pitchforks aiming to storm the White House.
Duh.
I’m sure this guy was just seeing one of the agents of the Comptroller standing nearby.
“no attaks under Bush”
he means ‘no underpants under bush’
geez – don’t you know that ‘attaks’ is attaturkish for ‘underpants’???
Fry in porcupinefish oil for 149 hours. Serves 4.
4 what?
he means ‘no underpants under bush’
Of course not – they go _b>over the …. waaaat?
Fry in porcupinefish oil for 149 hours. Serves 4.
4 what?
4 Hesajollygood fellows
HAH! I crack me up.
Every time I click over to this site (which I do occasionally when things are slow here in the salt mine) I keep misreading this thread’s title as “Watersporting”, and I have a moment of thinking “Cool, new thread. This ought to be fun.” Then I realize we’re still stuck here trying to be snarky about an article we mostly agree with, having to do with trains.
Can we please have a new, funner thread for Friday Night Libations?
Then I realize we’re still stuck here trying to be snarky about an article we mostly agree with, having to do with trains.
This and space travel seems to be the commentariat kryptonite, doesn’t it. We want to be snarky, but it’s so difficult when it’s not so blatantly dumb.
Not that mass transit isn’t (*stifling yawn*) fascinating, but maybe we should just go with “watersporting” until something better comes along.
Not that mass transit isn’t (*stifling yawn*) fascinating, but maybe we should just go with “watersporting” until something better comes along.
Is this where I say: “Oh, piss off?
No?
Carry on, then.
H2O program-related activities it is.
Not that mass transit isn’t (*stifling yawn*) fascinating, but maybe we should just go with “watersporting” until something better comes along.
There is some overlap, you know.
What marvelous synchronicity. Again. I was just now reading this.
Hmmm, doop-de-do, what’s this at ASW?
Mark Steyn must now be pants-pissingly afraid of his old boss’ ex.
It must be so hard to keep up.
Is it too late to mention the bombing of the train and/or train station in Spain? (sorry for the ambiguity re: train/station. Too lazy to look it up.)
Ok, Steerpike, it’s not “watersporting” but I’ll tell another tale from my abnormally dull life for some momentary diversion.
As some of you may recall, I was shitcanned from my last job about a month ago, and never really give a reason why. Well, of course, I pretty much know why – it’s because whenever they were trying to do illegal stuff like paying their employees less than what our contracts called for etc I would point out to them that what they were doing was not legal, etc., and I was no shrinking violet about saying pretty much what I thought. Ok, so…that’s pretty much why I was let go, “negative” attitude where “negative” = “accurately describing the actual business practices of my employer”.
Anyhoo, the upshot was this: the company had hired this guy that struck me as a shyster, allowed him to set up a separate sales division under another business, and was paying that business a set percentage on every sale. So shyster boy was doing everything in his power to make sure that the maximum amount of that set percentage stayed with the business, where he could pocket it. In theory, a separate entity doing sales wouldn’t be a bad idea – it relieves the company of dealing with a whole raft of issues. But that only holds true if the separate entity is doing a good job. In this case, in early December it was “discovered” that the sales unit’s claims that their employees did not need to be licensed realtors were, regrettably, false, and that the sales unit (and by extension the company) were on the state realtor board’s shit list. That’s a pretty big “oops!” and one that occured, no doubt, because in their zeal to not pay out anything, the sales unit took a more liberal interpretation of the law in order to save on training and licensing costs for their employees.
So, anway, as of Dec. 3, I’m shitcanned. Fast forward to Jan. 2; while standing in the middle of the Atlanta Ikea I get a call from a friend who still works for them, letting me know that as of Jan. 1, the sales unit no longer exists, and that shyster boy and his wife had both been shit-canned. While the realtor licensing fuck-up would have been enough in and of itself, I’m wondering what the close of the books looked like and if there might have been some issues there as well.
So, a few days later, I get a call from my ex-manager regarding my final commission check, which magically increased from what the contract stipulated…and I’m thinking that’s due to a combination of factors: first, there’s some discomfort with the fact that they know I have a little legal savvy and they want to ward off bad things; two, having shit-canned me on the word of a guy they shit-canned a week later after learning he was a liar (for failing to reveal a prior federal conviction and incarceration for real estate fraud) there is at least a little humble pie being eaten; and three, at this point, they’re seeking to pay me rather than paying the canned shyster, who undoubtedly can lay claim to some or all of the commissions not paid out to sales people who have quit or been terminated.
Bottom line, I’m getting another $2,000 in my check on Jan. 15, which means my hastened departure from the company only dinged me for a grand – which was well worth it for not having to work for them for the past month. I made that up working part time at the Hallmark (which is not nearly as bad as you might think) and had the time needed to write my business plan, etc. – plus got to finally take some time off and spend a week with my friends back in Atlanta over new year’s. I go to the bank on Monday to sign the business loan on the new business, which should be up and running by the end of this month.
So pretty much a karmic smorgasbord all the way round. The bad guys got f’d in the a, and with even a small bit of luck, I’ll never be anyone’s employee ever again.
Life is good.
Gaylord Hosts Teabaggers
Where they gonna hold it, the Glenn’s Market by the freeway?
crap, that was me babbling about Gaylord
Also, glad I started into investigative journalism because reporter is 184th but neither “ascended being of pure energy” nor “dude what yells PENIS at inappropriate times” are listed at all.
Well I can tells ya that the 184th ranking also applies to jobs (as in “dismally short in supply”) requiring the skills gathered while doing sech things journalbalism. There are probably more jobs for DWYPAIT.
Feh.
Woohoo, Jennifer, I love stories like this. Maybe because they’re so rare.
Hoping that slacker fuck Karma gets into gear and funnels a whirlwind of clients with cash your way…
The bad guys got f’d in the a
You should specify that you mean that they got f’d in the bad non-prostate massaging way. And I mean that in the most heterosexual way possible.
Feh.
Actually, I believe the list was cobbled together by randomly drawing lots out of a hat. #11 is Philospher. Yeah, there’s plenty of job openings for those folks.
Oh, that Jennifer, w/ her good luck, & karma, & “everything’s going swell!”
Just because you’re a better human being than many here, no need to rub our noses in it!
(Typed from bitter envy & resentment.)
Alright, Jenn!!
You should specify that you mean that they got f’d in the bad non-prostate massaging way.
I heartily agree. All of the talk of “butthurt” in the liberal blogosphere leads me to believe that many, perhaps even most among us, are not personally familiar with the joys of teh buttsecks. I’m not saying you have to try it, just don’t knock it ’till you have. Also, you really should try it.
Just because you’re a better human being than many here…
This is actually quite untrue. I, like most human beings, am a nasty piece of work. If there is a difference it is that I, unlike most human beings, realize it, admit it, and attempt to compensate for it at least somewhat.
But thank you for your kind fiction.
Watch it, pedestrian. That verges on recruiting. You know very well you have to be sneeky and subtle about it – we can’t let it be known that myths are in fact true. Your gay card may be revoked.
pedestrian
please no mention of deprecated philosophies of locomotion in a public place
the authorities may be monitoring us
…buttseks…
I can’t help but think of this.
Do I need to explain that?
…buttseks…
not to be confused with parsecs
So Han Solo couldn’t have done the Kessel run in less than twelve buttseks?
I wish I’d been on the Festival Express when it pulled in to Saskatoon. FO>SHO.
@Conor LOLZ!
~
Laugh if you will but back in the day they were some badass m’fers. I think they’re more or less defunct now but maybe its just that I live in a better neighborhood.
Hey,
If we’ve run out of train related puns, let’s go back to talking about golden shower related commentary:
Just imagine that golden stream pouring right into your ear. Delightful!
I’m more amazed by the suggestion that there’s a gang called the Ramrods.
Organized criminal PENIS.
Do Not Piss In My Ear & Tell Me You’re Irrigating It!
— Judge Judy
And a link for that. It’s Victoria Jackson. Last blockquote.
Oh yeah?
Well do not POOP on my shoes and tell me it’s a shoeshine!
~
Fuel for the architect-engineer war:
Number 33 versus Number 86.
As my father said twenty years ago and ZRM can attest, I’m an uncivil engineer.
Which actually does make you better than a disturbingly large percentage of people who, realizing it or not, wallow in it and use it to make others near enough as miserable as they are.
Also, congrats.
Laugh if you will but back in the day they were some badass m’fers.
A gang called the Gaylords would pretty much have to be, I think.
IANAL, but does anyone else read Jennifer’s story and think, “wrongful termination suit?”