16
Teh AWESOME
Via Lawyers, Guns and Money by way of B&P, we learn of a new online game for faux-survivalist shut-ins based on the premise (or desperate fear/desire) that in 2011 Obama has suspended the Constitution and created the ‘North American Union’ with Mexico and Canada:
Private ownership of firearms has been outlawed, and Obama has promised a new era of equality and peace. Unfortunately for Obama, Americans would not act like the sheep he had taken them for. Revolution begins.
This is what the ‘Revolution’ looks like:
Chaos ensues throughout the nation! The Second American Revolution is in full swing by February of 2011, with lists posted by patriots, county by county, naming dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture. After 7 weeks of fighting in every state, and with the refusal of most United States military branches to obey orders to fire upon American citizens, Obama’s forces are slowly whittled away. The remnants of the Obama loyalists retreat to Virginia. After tens of thousands of their troops are killed, The International Service Union Empire (I.S.U.E.) has just 40,000 left, but still controls three full counties in the name of former President Barack Hussein Obama… Or so they think. The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth (C.O.R.N.Y.) controls three counties near Washington D.C., with reports of having at least 60,000 loyalists for Obama.
But rounding up government workers and slaying tens of thousands of your fellow citizens is just part of the appeal of this ‘action packed, satire-filled war game that takes place in the not-so-distant future’. And amazingly, it gets better than C.O.R.N.Y. and the International Service Union Empire. Under ‘Breaking News’:
Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Found Dead in Camp
March 5, 2011 – Clark County, VA – A FEMA camp was liberated today, one of two still controlled by the war criminals loyal to Obama. Rush Limbaugh was executed over a week earlier, we are told, and Glenn Beck was found in his cell and has died, incredibly of an ‘aspirin overdose’, the preferred way to send a message to the enemies of Obama.
C.O.R.N.Y. Plants Some ACORNS in Eastern Virginia
March 5, 2011 – The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’. The rally was attacked by a few hundred Militia members led by Ted Nugent. The children were spared but all others were slaughtered.
Of course, none of this probably matters much, since we are apparently in for a nuclear winter anyway:
The Last Arab-Israeli War Death Count
Washington D.C. – The Final Arab Israeli war cost a total of 4 million Israeli casualties when Iran nuked Tel Aviv in June of 2010. 17 million Iranians also died when Israel counter-struck, destroying Iran’s top 10 cities, including Tehran, Mashhad, Esfahan and Tabriz. Other targets of Israel’s counterattack include Riyadh, Mecca, Cairo and Islamabad.
And my personal favorites (italics mine):
Former V.P. Joe Biden Captured Outside Arlington
March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was captured today after an incredible firefight in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Ameri-Troops and Islamic Warrior Guard were gunned down by the Virginia Citizens Militia and elements from T.A.M. (Texas Arizona Militia) with Sean Hannity, the former FOX broadcaster, leading the way.
Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd (The Man Of the Ban) Captured
March 6, 2011 – Mark Lloyd, the Marxist who was put in charge of the FCC by Barack Obama was captured today by the MRC Militias run by L. Brent Bozell.
Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail
March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured. Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions and just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.
Lolly said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:17
Ooooo! I wanna play! Can I be the thimble?
Jay B. said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:17
My guess is that they will never be a conservative who actually gets to the end of the game. Much like me and halfway through a porn story.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:23
March 5, 2011 – The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’.
Uh, I thought that Manassas was in Prince William County… oh…
Why do all of their “jokes” involve mass murder?
Saul said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:24
As a middle-aged man who came of age before computer games were even conceived of, I have never played one. But I may just give this one a try.
SomeNYGuy said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:25
I’ve been saying for years that the one thing missing from interactive online games was good old-fashioned sedition.
Saul said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:28
As an unfunny parody troll, I just came all over my monitor.
Jody said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:28
Jeebus.
They literally jerk off to this stuff.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:28
When asked for his opinion on this monumental power shift in favor of liberty-minded Republicans during the November elections
Ooh, now I see some satirical content!
Chicago City Comptroller said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:30
“Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against…”
Andrew Breitbart? Doughy, drunk, hobo looking Breitbart who spends all his time whining on the internet about how everybody is so mean to him? Is Jonah Goldberg going to be their version of Sgt. Fury?
“Why do all of their “jokes” involve mass murder?”
Funny how Conservative “humor” works.
tommytimp said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:33
They never get to the part where the zombiefied remains of the Soprano family attack from New Jersey, overtake the TAM and VCM and fuck Bill O’Reilly in the ass. They leave Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter tied up to starve though, ‘cuz even a zombie wouldn’t tap that.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:37
You’d think Days-of-Future-Past Obama would drop the prefix “Ameri” if he decided America sucked so bad. Maybe they’re trying to resurrect the bullshit “CONDOMS IN KINDERGARTEN!!!!!!!1!!!!boner!!!” meme and they think that’s how “amorous” is spelled.
Some Guy said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:41
Manassas is squarely in Fairfax.
I’m guessing this is Parody, as the idea of Fox News anchors doing anything other then cry in their milti-million dollar bunkers, pissing theit pants, is laughable to such an extent I can’t believe that anyone would suggest it.
That and the premise reminds me of the Waxworld episode of Red Dwarf. Only not good.
Jennifer said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:45
I wonder what kind of a bounty I can get for a local DMV employee?
Candy said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:46
Once again, proof that these lunatics are unparodyable. (It’s a word now, damnit)
Smut Clyde said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:48
An interactive Turner Diary! Oh joy!
Derek said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:53
Has anyone else noticed that Glenn Beck’s photo on the cover of his new book makes him look an awful lot like Genesis P-Orridge from the Throbbing Gristle days? Does this mean that Beck, too, is headed towards transsexuality?
tensor said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:58
Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade…
Great. Now we’re going to have a whole generation of young wingnuts, shouting down their high school teachers, righteously demanding to know how Abe Lincoln survived J.W. Booth’s bullets to lead a brigade in Spain.
Meanwhile, Erick the Dim is going to be really, really mad his Red-Faced Trike Farce
Cheetoh Guardsaren’t even mentioned, esp. since they should be depicted triumphantlystorming the Winter Palacecapturing Usurper Barack Kenya Hussein Sotero Lenin Himmler Malcom Obama in hisbunkervault, during the very act of burning his long-form birth certificate. (Erick’s personal abolishment of Obama’sroyal guardtown police force forms a brilliant epilogue, under the final credits.)owlbear1 said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:00
Holy shit! What a bunch of Melancholy Gimps.
Someday Obama will shackle us, we just know it.
St. Bina, Patron of Antiterrorism Experts said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:05
CORNY? Yeah, I should say so.
How many drugs does one have to take to come up with this shit?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:06
Once again, proof that these lunatics are unparodyable. (It’s a word now, damnit)
The scope of Poe’s Law needs to be broadened to encompass all of movement conservatism (maybe “Ruppert’s Corollary” could be attached to Poe’s Law).
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:09
I wonder what kind of a bounty I can get for a local DMV employee?
Well first you gotta remember that since the US Gov’t is Teh Enemy, bounties won’t be paid out in greenbacks, but the graphic on the main page does list the accepted forms of currency
I’m almost afraid that Word! means hte Bible, since it is a wingnutty conservative freakapalooza.
Grace Nearing said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:15
The really sad thing is that more strategic thinking went into creating this game than went into planning for the occupation of post-invasion Iraq.
J Neo Marvin said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:21
How many drugs does one have to take to come up with this shit?
Not enough.
Cerberus said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:26
But remember kiddies, the lynching in appalachia had nothing to do with this and conservatives are properly horrified and not at all ratcheting up on this shit in order to get some more crazies to snap and take a potshot at the president, oh no.
That’s it, I’m calling it, the conservative movement is officially a terrorist cell devoted to the downfall of America and the democratic process.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:26
Well first you gotta remember that since the US Gov’t is Teh Enemy, bounties won’t be paid out in greenbacks, but the graphic on the main page does list the accepted forms of currency
The bounties are paid in dickgirl hentai comic books.
I’m almost afraid that Word! means hte Bible, since it is a wingnutty conservative freakapalooza.
It was inserted by Michael Steele, for keepin’ it real.
Some Guy said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:30
Well, goddammit BBBB, Now I’m torn between the two options.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:31
Speaking of Ronaldus Magnus, the top two non-officer ranks in hte United States of Earth military forces are
E-7 Tribune
E-8 Reagan
I imagine that the patriotic forces massing together to fight Hte Usurpederer and his Unconstitutional Coup are supposed to be made up of squads of hte 101st Chairborne Keyboard Kommandos dressed up as Roman Legionnaires and led by clones of HTE GREAT COMMUNICATOR himself.
I wonder if this guy gets to automatically jump to the top NCO rank?
pöplikid said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:34
Holy crap.
This can’t happen, even in their batshit crazy version of reality.
If 21 million heathens die in Arab-Israeli Nukefest 2011, there’ll barely be anyone left in the neighborhood for Jeebus to skewer with his mouth-sword when he returns.
I’m sure if they thought about it they wouldn’t want to bore Jeebus like that.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:34
The really sad thing is that more strategic thinking went into creating this game than went into planning for the occupation of post-invasion Iraq.
If you look at their Game Map for the World, there’s a country that’s mysteriously missing. Hint: it’s Iraq.
No wait, there’s at least one more that doesn’t show up. Wow, the US of Earth has finally managed to do what they keep saying Ahmadinejad wants done – they’ve wiped Israel off the face of the World!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:39
I pity poor Perfesser Harlan. There he is languishing near hte bottom of hte blogroll with only one vote, and it’s probably Helen’s.
Good news for Doughbob and friends, the children of the Corner don’t even make hte list.
MoeLarryAndJesus said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:39
When do we get to the part where Malkin is impregnated with Dick Cheney’s superbaby?
That’s the logical ending.
paramedic x said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:40
he stole this plot from the comic series “give me liberty” with the whole “martha washington goes to war” settings in neo-civil war america, even the whole I.S.U.E-as-BigBoyBurgers. good comic to check out if you never have.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:40
I wonder if this game is spyware laden, like that “Left Behind” video game.
If 21 million heathens die in Arab-Israeli Nukefest 2011, there’ll barely be anyone left in the neighborhood for Jeebus to skewer with his mouth-sword when he returns.
Gamma World mutant Jesus has 1d4 physical mutations.
I think I’d totally go to services at a Church of Gamma Jesus.
Ed Marshall said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:43
Is Ameritroops code for Americorps? Am I reading that right?
Smut Clyde said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:53
for Jeebus to skewer with his mouth-sword when he returns
Not only does he have a mouth-sword, but he can do the cast-fireball spell. Cool or what?
chagnasty said,
October 16, 2009 at 7:56
Ohhhhhh so that’s where I left my copy of the secret works of Nostradamus. I must have left it at the last John Birch Society meeting, or possibly it was the Michigan Militia down home BBQ and Bill of Rights burning party… I attend so many, it’s hard to keep track.
Seriously though, I think that the forces of the evil Communisocialfacist dictator OBAMANATOR bin Muhammed (his true name, however this is not revealed until you beat his first form, Barrak HUSSEIN Obama) would be much tougher to defeat than is portrayed. For one thing, they’d probably all have access to quality health care, meaning they could get back to forcing all women to have abortions and killing all real Americans (read: anyone who thinks that banning automatic weapons and armor piercing bullets, is a communist plot… which, of course, it is). Those good, honest, apple pie loving americans fighting against the evil forces of the Islamic Warrior Guard would likely die quickly from wounds because their insurers would drop their coverage because they work in a high risk environment. At least if the crusades taught us anything, it’s that killing people is bad, but killing muslims is the fast track to heaven… I’m just waiting for the expansion pack where Obama, in an act of desperation, activates the Obamamatrix. It is a terrible and awe-inspiring device that, once activated, provides healthcare, better education, and suggestions on healthier diet to all the cursed people (trolls) unable to scramble back to their caves! Having used his clever “diplomacy” to remove all the nuclear (read: nukuler) weapons from the world in the name of “peace”, there is no one left to stand up to his tyrrany!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:00
I played the game, but couldn’t get past Dennis Kucinich, who’s the (SPOILER ALERT!!!) level boss on the “Battle of Cleveland” board. The problem is, whenever I seem to score a critical hit, this superhot redhead comes out and creates a distraction.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:00
Check out the ‘breaking news’ section – Pam Atlas leads a militia, and Mossad is after Rahm Emanuel for ‘betraying’ Israel.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:06
Wow. The thing is a giant monster of convoluted retardedness. Every page on that site is brimming full of garbage. You’d think that some crazy-ass ponzi scam (become a Made Playa for $10/month and convince 99 of your other friend to as well, and we’ll start paying you back maybe as much as $75!!one11!!) would be all fly-by-night-ish, but there’s tons (okay maybe not tons, but more than expected) of “content” (even if a lot of is just stolen from MALKINSMASH).
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:07
Mossad is after Rahm Emanuel for ‘betraying’ Israel.
Didn’t he cut off part of his finger to prove his loyalty?
chagnasty said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:08
Also, last time I checked, Iran wasn’t an Arab country any more than Afghanistan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Indonesia, or Antarctica (though, I do hear that Osama bin Laden is there, protected by a cadre of radical Muslim penguins, ready to use their cuteness to infiltrate our zoos and attack ‘merica… of course, this is what Obama does not want us to know). Iranians are Persian and speak Farsi, which sadly is not just another word for Arabic. Though, I highly doubt that the creators spent the .24 seconds (according to google) it takes to look this up.
Galactic Dustbin said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:12
This is sure to be a boon for the kleenex and liquid soap industries!
Wyatt Watts III said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:13
My character is a third-level chaotic evil Birther with the Tolkeinesque moniker “Orly Taitz.”
Unfortunately, she may lose a few hit points ($20,000 worth) in her recent battle with Judge Land. Damn these polyhedral dice!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:14
Also, last time I checked, Iran wasn’t an Arab country any more than Afghanistan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Indonesia, or Antarctica
Oh, there you go with your facts again.
Typical liberal!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:16
Tolkeinesque moniker “Orly Taitz.”
Orcly Taitz.
Fixed for great justice.
Galactic Dustbin said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:18
When do we get to the part where Malkin is impregnated with Dick Cheney’s superbaby?
That’s the logical ending.
No the logical ending is Cheney becoming a being of pure energy, destroying the Obama Super Reflex MegaCarrier with the power of his transformation.
Doug Watts said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:19
Let me guess, in this game Rush Limboo is not allowed to buy into an NFL football team.
See, it was profit-sized !!!!
Nothingseen said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:20
I donno if that’s Fireball. It might be Force Missiles as an empowered 15th level caster, or Chain Missiles as an 11th. But since he’s gotta have Tenser’s Transformation to use that Mouth Sword, I’d wager it’s an Empowered Force Missile cast.
Shell Goddamnit said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:25
“children of the Corner”
my oh my
chagnasty said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:26
No the logical ending is Cheney becoming a being of pure energy, destroying the Obama Super Reflex MegaCarrier with the power of his transformation.
I don’t know, I always pictured Cheney as going through more of a “keep adding robotic parts until he’s unstoppable” sort of transformation… like he finally was able to merge with Reagan’s mythical top-secret star wars program, which allowed him to use space based lasers to weaken the Super Reflex MegaCarrier, and before millions of tentacles shoot out of his body and engulf said MegaCarrier… or he’d just invite Obama to go hunting…
Illumninati Repton said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:29
We should totally crash this game. DFH Brigade, move out!
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:32
Holy. Festering. Fuck. On. A. Stick.
I’m truly gobsmacked. This is amazing.
I love this bit,
Full-on eat-your-own, kill em all, mindset. I suppose it’s good that these morons can’t be in the same room for five minutes without needing to kill each other. Means we don’t have to worry quite as much about them organizing any truly coherent front. Fuck, they’re crazy.
This is proof positive that there is no such thing as Peak-Wingnut. Everybody who thought that this or that was evidence of P-W is now proven wrong. All that can be inferred is that there will be, as soon as this becomes an official datapoint, something even more ridiculous to take its place. It will simply continue to concentrate and become more toxic and caustic as it implodes, a veritable neutron star of stupid.
Layer upon layer of madness. It is, indeed, awesome.
Jeff Fecke said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:32
I intended to add my little bit of snark here, but how do you snark this? It’s unsnarkable! It’s like sedition fanfiction. It’s like Rick Perry’s wet dreams. It’s like a perfect, stupid diamond. It is glorious.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:35
Check out the ‘breaking news’ section
Yes, please do. Obama apparently wins four more Nobel Prizes, including ones in Biology and Science!
FFS, if you wanted to make a joke about how “in the tank” the Nobel Committee is for Obama, you could have had them invent a new Nobel Prize in “Having Big Ears” or “Hiding Your Kenyan Background”.
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:39
DKW,
The Ponzi aspect made me chuckle some, too.
Really. Trust us. It’s not at all going for meth and crackwhores. Really!
pöplikid said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:40
T.A.I.N.T.
Troglodytes Asshats Idiots & Nutjobs Together.
I’d certainly rather be C.O.R.N.Y. than a T.A.I.N.T.
Trisomy 2 Electric Boogaloo said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:50
linux is communism!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:51
More broken news:
This is not the treason you’re looking for <handwave>
You know what’s quite telling? Your stoopit ass Projection issues. I’m a bit sleep-deprived right now, so I’m going to wade into this batshit fucking loonybins alt future described here.
Obama instigates a “coup” in order to stifle dissent and democracy. He also begins implementing all sorts of propagandalicious brainwashing by rounding up and assassinating big name conservative media folks with his super-evil FCC-stapo. The trigger is when Obama “comes to take your guns away”.
The Second Revolution begins and makes things all better by banning the Democratic Party and instituting mandatory reading of Ann Coulter in schools. I suspect that the Victory Condition for the Scenario is when you manage to kill or disarm all the members of the Enemy Forces (including UN Peacekeepers!).
Hey wingnut fucktards, the fictional cassus belli you give to justify your fictional Second American Revolution are the exact same things you want to enact after taking power.
watchdog said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:53
Cant say these losers dont have very active imaginations, just not very original.
If these fools want to fight in a war so badley they really need to get off the couch and enlist, you only need to join the infantry for two years after all.
The rest of this is just pathetic.
pöplikid said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:53
“Also, last time I checked, Iran wasn’t an Arab country”
True, that. Should have said Islamo-Israeli Nukefest 2011.
Also. Why aren’t the casualties of Riyadh, Mecca, Cairo and Islamabad not included in the tally?
That’s about 10-15 million more Mooooooooooooooooooslems reduced to radioactive ash.
I’d think they’d be pretty happy about that, bringing the total if Israel’s wrath to a cool 30+ million.
Not bad for a “slip of land the size of New Jersey.”
On teh other hand, if “God has a liking for the small place and the little people,” then why did he let the Perslaminofascisista incinerate 4 million of them?
My brain hurts. I need the Gumby Brain Specialist…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M68GeL8PafE
Jay Arr Eff (Formerly Just Joe) said,
October 16, 2009 at 8:58
There’s something rather pathetic about the setting of the game, the backstory. The 2nd Civil War hasn’t just begun, not is it in the balance or anything. The Right has won. It’s like the people behind the game were scared of the idea of losing (or consider it completely and utterly impossible, given that America is God’s country, except for sometimes when it’s a Satanic land where Christians are a persecuted minority… but I digress). There’s no tension; the player is just mopping up the remains. What’s the point?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:09
There’s no tension; the player is just mopping up the remains. What’s the point?
That is the point. Flag Waving and Patriotic Dissent, just for the sake of it. It’s like Security Theatre, but all Confederacy-style instead. The purpose is to get to wun around shooting Islamacists while shouting WOLVERINES!!!11!!USA#111!!!
Look at the crowning moment in these idiots’ history books – the Teabagger March on Warshingtown. What were they protesting? Obama. No actual reason (but apparently, definitely not because he’s a nigger) – just protesting Obama. No coherent message, no actual goals, nothing more than Obama Derangement Syndrome.
pöplikid said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:09
This is what I imagine the bullshit session leading up to this…idea…was like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T70-HTlKRXo&NR=1
Except all the words were “genocidy.”
“DisemBOWEL. HOLOcaust. ConflaGRAtion. Good, genocidy sorts of words.”
tensor said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:12
There’s no tension; the player is just mopping up the remains.
(Well, something has to connect the players’ game characters to their actual lives, right?)
Even in their own self-created, self-contained virtual reality, wingnuts can’t bring themselves to serve in the first rank. They are all Rush Limbaugh, indeed.
Marsupial said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:12
Ann Coulter’s book “Treason” has also been made required reading in all high schools
Wha?!? Not Liberal Fascism? Where’s the love for DoughBoy?
Strangefate said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:25
There’s something rather pathetic about the setting of the game, the backstory. The 2nd Civil War hasn’t just begun, not is it in the balance or anything. The Right has won.
I like the undertone of intense pants wetting involved in the game’s setup as well. It was simply too frightening, I guess, to create a scenario where the dreaded liberal hydra had any chance of winning. Typical for your rightwinger, all the hard work has already been done by someone else (everyone knows real wingnuts don’t go to war, after all; they have other people do that for them while cheering from their Lazy Boys) and their forces are Super Awesome Invincibly Victorious because the idea of being the underdog is so deeply uncomfortable for them.
Perhaps for the ultimate rightwing experience, they should just dismiss the military campaign stuff altogether and base the whole game around torturing and executing prisoners in the aftermath. American wins!!!
Loneoak said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:28
Are we sure this isn’t some Wonkette ratfucking?
A. Lib, loose, said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:40
Some two-bit pop psychology here.
Note the fetishization of rightist media figures. Game Boy sees them leading their shock troops & all that, not unlike the guy who was the big Ann Coulter/Malkin fan who mailed white powder to various “left” media figures. (Same guy that killed the letter carrier & shot up the Jewish center? Who can remember. Wing-nut scorecard in other pants.
Or the guy who shot up the Unitarian Church in Tennessee, who was all “Kill all the liberals Bernard Goldberg lists in his book.”
We can only hope that the dilrod who came up w/ this scam is kept busy enough therew/ that he doesn’t get any other bright ideas.
As far as the mopping up aspect goes, this is their big Galtian fantasy, that after Armageddon (which they survive by hiding, of course) they come out of their caves/mother’s basements to find a world of easily slain “savages,” & buxom blond prisoners, so grateful for their freedom they will gladly enslave themselves to them, & on & on…
I’m sure most of those here had grown out of that sort of thing by our early to mid-twenties.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:44
Ann Coulter’s book “Treason” has also been made required reading in all high schools…
A pointless edict when you take into consideration that voluntary illiteracy becomes the standard cultural practice in the new dawn of Wingnutopia.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:46
Made Members
This made me ruefully chuckle. They’re all about their little macho fantasies, though they’d shit themselves if they actually had to confront any adversity.
The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff…
Oh, sorry to hear that your precious Axis of Dubya/Rumsfeld had to start that precedent of hiring mercenaries, while under-equipping American military personnel.
WOLVERINES, indeed.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:50
March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured.
Henceforth America became a land flowing with Brawndo.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 9:53
Full-on eat-your-own, kill em all, mindset. I suppose it’s good that these morons can’t be in the same room for five minutes without needing to kill each other. Means we don’t have to worry quite as much about them organizing any truly coherent front. Fuck, they’re crazy.
I am picturing a “Cadmus throwing a stone in the midst of the Dragon-Tooth Warriors” moment, in which a gathering of wingnuts are driven to shoot each other when a nearby car backfires.
Prospero said,
October 16, 2009 at 10:07
This game will surely be a WoW-killer!
another jim said,
October 16, 2009 at 10:08
They tried to create a group to reference the threat of the evil ACORN; their take involved youth, and the best they could come up with is Corny?
When right there waiting to be used is Children of the Corn? I ask you.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 10:20
Big Bad Bald Bastard:
I am picturing a “Cadmus throwing a stone in the midst of the Dragon-Tooth Warriors” moment, in which a gathering of wingnuts are driven to shoot each other when a nearby car backfires.
You can cause pretty much the same effect by tossing some Cheetos in their general direction.
Zarquon said,
October 16, 2009 at 10:41
I still prefer Duke Nukem Forever
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 11:09
You can cause pretty much the same effect by tossing some Cheetos in their general direction.
I would venture to say that an issue of Swank magazine would have a similar effect.
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 11:13
Submitted without comment.
D. Sidhe said,
October 16, 2009 at 11:32
Maybe this will collapse in on itself as soon as the players start worrying that it’s some sort of filthy liberal plot to gather names and addresses of potential revolutionaries.
Actually, it probably won’t. Because wingnuts are only half-assed paranoid: they only worry about the shit that doesn’t require them to do anything they don’t want to do. Fucking pikers. I’m hallucinating G Gordon Liddy in my goddamned crawlspace this week, and I think I gave myself asbestos poisoning climbing up there to inspect it. *That’s* dedication to a psychotic episode, you wimps!
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 12:04
lists posted by parrots
Since when does the right wing include birds famous for repeating words they don’t understand…oh.
M. Bouffant said,
October 16, 2009 at 12:16
an issue of Swank magazine
What? The Pastor has an equivalent of O magazine?
Sign me up now!
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 12:20
an issue of Swank magazine
What? The Pastor has an equivalent of O magazine?
Some of us have not eaten breakfast yet. Please refrain from mentioning “Swank” and getting to “O” in the same breath.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 12:22
Some of us have not eaten breakfast yet
Just put an additional shot of vodka in the Bloody Mary, and deal with the Swankiness.
Smut Clyde said,
October 16, 2009 at 12:41
dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture.
I can see this not ending well.
Arky said,
October 16, 2009 at 12:49
Shhh!
El Cid said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:12
WE’RE AS DUMB AS HELL, AND WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:16
Maybe this will collapse in on itself as soon as the players start worrying that it’s some sort of filthy liberal plot to gather names and addresses of potential revolutionaries.
Shhh!
Just wait until the seizure-inducing stroboscopic effects kick in.
Ruh roh… shouldna oughta spilled the beans.
Dr Zen said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:20
Please be making this shit up. That is all.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:29
Doc, it’s worse than you think.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:41
I want to know if I can sign up to play on the I.S.U.E. side. I know the game is rigged against them, but hey these would be wingnuts I’d be playing against. Also, while they are mucking about in Virginia they seem to have neglected the heartland. That’s right, they’ve forgotten all about the Chicago Royal Obama Nazi Islamofascists or C.R.O.N.I. forces who, after decimating the Red-Faced Trike Farce are now pushing through Atlanta on their march to the sea.
Arky said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:45
Don’t forget the Sacred Homosexual Insurgent Vanguard. They slaughtered millions of toilet trolling fRiechtards in a week.
I wonder how long it will be until the only people playing are members of the Secret Service?
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:51
And what the fuck is this “United States of Earth” shit? Since when was the rest of the world dragged into the wingnut asylum?
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:57
They need to market this better. Every web site I’ve gone to for the last six months has had an ad some woman with her breasts falling out of her shirt saying “Come play, my lord.” It’s some online game that’s apparently too lame to attract users without virtual prostitution.
I’m sure some hot Mandingo action could be worked into the game and used as a marketing tool.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:57
Just imagine that I had included the other “with” in that sentence. It’s almost as good as if I had.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 13:58
If I could play on the I.S.U.E. side I’m wondering what strategy would be best. With so mant damn smart Sadly!Naughts it would be silly not to seek advice. So what do you think…
Should I deploy my forces to wipe out all the Cheetos and Mountain Dew distribution centers in Virginia or should I just slip down to Virginia beach and go surfing for 39 turns while the wingnuts pick each other off. Come ashore on turn 40 and whack the last remaining wingnut in the back of the head with my long board.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:02
Damn! I haye iy when yhe t and yhe y kets change places on me!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:08
I’m sure some hot Mandingo action could be worked into the game and used as a marketing tool.
I think this is more of the “Malkin cheerleader” fetish crowd.
Not gonna link, no siree. Not… gonna… link…
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:10
I think this is more of the “Malkin cheerleader” fetish crowd.
Not gonna link, no siree. Not… gonna… link…
I’ve seen it. I assume that there is a correlation between her vile interior and her abysmal cheering, just as leprosy has been scientifically proven to indicate an unclean soul.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:45
DEVELOPING….
MICKEY KAUS WANTED IN ALBANY, NY
More to come….
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:46
Unfortunately for Obama, Americans would not act like the sheep he had taken them for.
We’re talking about a group of people who spent hours yesterday watching an empty bag of hot air fly. Who are they kidding????
Ted the Slacker said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:50
We’re talking about a group of people who spent hours yesterday watching an empty bag of hot air fly.
Limbaugh was in the balloon?
I’ll go, that was pathetic.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:51
Limbaugh was in the balloon?
I’ll go, that was pathetic.
*trying hard to keep a straight face*
Yes. You *smirkle* should….*snort*
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:52
The Final Arab Israeli war cost a total of 4 million Israeli casualties when Iran nuked Tel Aviv in June of 2010.
In the “Final Arab Israeli war” between Israel and Iran, shouldn’t there be some actual Arabs involved?
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:54
dozens of government employees and the bounties that can be fetched by their capture.
Round up all the Budget Analysts! Now!
Scott said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:54
I know I’ve blogwhored this before, but the idea sounds super-similar to the comic book “Liberality for All” where the revolution against the Evil Librul Conspiracy is led by Big Tuff Radio Guys.
I assume any military action involving conservatives would involve a lot of staying hidden and crying, punctuated by occasional surrendering to the enemy and ratting out your friends. Once the real fighting is over, they’d emerge from their holes and claim to have won the war singlehandedly, severely stained underpants notwithstanding.
Ted the Slacker said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:55
Round up all the Budget Analysts! Now!
And Postmen.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:55
Damn! I went to the link above at the first thing I saw was a comment by someone named “Obamasshole” –
“Can we get some graphics depicting us killing off the Presidents People?”
A response was:
“That really would be cool but I guess the site would get in trouble though.”
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 14:59
The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff…
just scratching my head in bemusement.
Apparently actual treason is now a virtue.
Scott said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:00
Just noticed this in comments:
Saul said,
As a middle-aged man who came of age before computer games were even conceived of, I have never played one. But I may just give this one a try.
The first computer game — a “cathode ray tube amusement device” — was patented in 1948. Assuming “coming of age” means at least 25 years old, that would make Saul at least 85 years old.
That’s not middle aged, you glomming geek.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:04
Chagnasty said @ (the fighting) 8:08:
… Antarctica (though, I do hear that Osama bin Laden is there, protected by a cadre of radical Muslim penguins, ready to use their cuteness to infiltrate our zoos and attack ‘merica… of course, this is what Obama does not want us to know)
Yeah, well, you know who else is hiding in Antarctica? Nazi snow men, that’s who.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:06
The Congress of Rejected and Neglected Youth had an ACORN planting party in Fairfax County. It was attended by Barack Obama and hundreds of Madrasas students chanting ‘Death to America, Long Live Obama!’. The rally was attacked by a few hundred Militia members led by Ted Nugent. The children were spared but all others were slaughtered.
So militia members attack a political photo opportunity and “slaughter” all the adult participants, and this is lauded as a good thing? I know this whole things is Teh Funny but I am just trying to get into the mind of someone who’d make up this particular scenario – is he familiar with what happened in Rwanda and during the Civil Wars in Sierra Leone? What next, they turn the captured children into child-soldiers?
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:07
As a middle-aged man who came of age before computer games were even conceived of, I have never played one. But I may just give this one a try.
That reminds me of an Amazon review Al Franken found for one of…was it Hannity’s books?
Anyway, the guy wrote: I never read books. This one I finished.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:09
Over there on the main page, there’s a band of portraits across the page – starts with Karl Marx. Good to know they’re going to capture him, BTW, it’s about time. But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:12
But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?
McCartney?
Arakasi said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:18
The Marines being the patriots that they have always been have been regularly disobeying the orders of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
I work with Marines on a daily basis. I wonder if the idiot who wrote this realizes that if he ever actually said this to a Marine, then he would find his head twisted off and used as a latrine
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:19
But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?
HINT: If you’re rad then he rules.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:23
I’m trying to figure out the time-line here. It’s March 2011 and they’re in the mop-up stages of their overwhelming victory. The “coup” begins after the January swearing in of newly elected officials – so in two short months we’ve not only seen the rise of 8 lefty para-military forces (the “Cong” – love the name!) and also the ascendency of doughy white middle-aged radio pundits to the leadership ranks of militias?
Two months is hardly enough time for Breitbart to get into shape enough to march in a parade, much less lead a brigade.
Rush Limbaugh isn’t going to starve in the FEMA camp – he’s got enough blubber to live on for six months!
Tone in DC said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:23
tommytimp said,
October 16, 2009 at 6:33
They never get to the part where the zombiefied remains of the Soprano family attack from New Jersey, overtake the TAM and VCM and fuck Bill O’Reilly in the ass. They leave Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter tied up to starve though, ‘cuz even a zombie wouldn’t tap that.
_____________________________________________________
O’Lielly gets buggered.
Mad Michelle and Skeletor don’t!
…makes sense in Wingnutland.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:26
Remember when everybody was saying comedy was dead now that Obama’s been elected?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:27
The WaPoo says it doesn’t write enough about the views of the right wing.
Here’s their chance.
~
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:28
This. is. FUCKING. AMAZING. It’s like a wingnutty online version of Risk. Holy shit. I may have to sign up for an account.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:29
But who’s the dude between Lenin and Bernanke?
McCartney?
No,no, that is clearly Pete Best.
zzx said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:33
Do the people who come up with this kind of stuff assume that all the black guys in the military are going to be on their side? ‘Cause, y’know, I might not bet the ranch and the dog on that.
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:35
Wait, what about the most exciting part of the game? I’m guessing this is where Sarah Palin rides down from the north on a sled pulled by giant wolves with glowing red eyes. In one had she brandishes a whip (rawr) over the flanks of the sled-wolves; the other clutches a rocket launcher, a red-painted fingernail resting lightly on its trigger. Puffs of steam drift through the cold air from her labored breathing as her ample breasts strain against the skimpy polar-bear skin bikini top she wears, and twin ivory-handled .44 magnums are displayed in holsters strapped to her bare thighs, above knee-high spike-heeled boots…
Excuse me, I’ll be right back. Give me about 20 minutes…
You're joking... said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:37
There is a small problem with all of this on;y the officers in the US armed forces are Republican. the main force is for the most part Dems…. So the whole thing falls apart really . A bunch of rollie-pollie rednecks are going to do all this? LOL
The corporation would never allow it.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:38
Do the people who come up with this kind of stuff assume that all the black guys in the military are going to be on their side?
This is their idea of being colorblind, I presume.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:41
We should set up a liberal version of this game:
2011: Obama’s Policy Agenda For Incremental Change Partially Enacted, Largely Compromised
Kevin Brennan said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:43
A semi-serious question. What’s with all the freaking out over a North American Union from these people? I mean, the U.S. has most of the population and most of the money, so it’s not like Canada and Mexico would exactly be the dominant partners in any such arrangement. Can’t these people even do basic math…
Oh. Never mind, carry on.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:43
I keep seeing stuff about babes on the site. I don’t see any babes. Where are the babes???
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:44
DA,
You really should wait until I’ve swallowed my sip of coffee before posting shit like that.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:45
I mean, the U.S. has most of the population and most of the money, so it’s not like Canada and Mexico would exactly be the dominant partners in any such arrangement.
Yeah, but who wants Quebecois and Mexicans as their countrymen? Gross!
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:48
Obama’s coup? Did the legally elected government overthrow itself and seize the power they already have?
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:48
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:35
That might be a more sought after graphic than the ones “depicting us killing off the Presidents People” although I’m guessing you could make huge profits of Obamasshole and all his or her wingnut friends if you were to come up with a graphic showing that version of the Iquitarod Queen killing off the President’s People.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:50
Did the legally elected government overthrow itself and seize the power they already have?
Clearly frustrated by his inability to effect change in the healthcare industry, watching his bailouts fail left and right, and having 28% unemployment had forced Obama’s hand to roll out the troops.
Cuz, you know, a coup without the military always succeeds….
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:55
I’m guessing this is where Sarah Palin rides down from the north on a sled pulled by giant wolves with glowing red eyes. In one had she brandishes a whip (rawr) over the flanks of the sled-wolves; the other clutches a rocket launcher, a red-painted fingernail resting lightly on its trigger. Puffs of steam drift through the cold air from her labored breathing as her ample breasts strain against the skimpy polar-bear skin bikini top she wears, and twin ivory-handled .44 magnums are displayed in holsters strapped to her bare thighs, above knee-high spike-heeled boots…
I’m seeing this as a Boris Vallejo poster…
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:55
t- I think the Republicans are supposed to sweep back into power in the 2010 elections, so Obama dissolves the Congress. Then, as they say, chaos ensues.
jon said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:57
As Bill O’ would say, “Fuck it! Let’s do it live!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ04mfAY2BU
Ted the Slacker said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:59
2011: Obama’s Policy Agenda For Incremental Change Partially Enacted, Largely Compromised
Oh this could work…
V.P. Joe Biden Heckled Outside Arlington
March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was heckled today after attending a fundraiser in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Secret Service Agents and Local Police were peacefully approached by a group of unemployed tradesmen and elements from T.A.M. (Ted’s Awesome Mnemonicists) with some regular guy you never met, recently bankrupted by healthcare costs, leading the way.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:01
I’m seeing this as a Boris Vallejo poster…
These guys see the entire world as a Boris Vallejo poster, with themselves as the muscley barbarian.
The muscley malebarbarian. Most of them would fail miserably at being the muscley female barbarians.
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:03
Exactly what I had in mind, Actor, or else Frank Frazetta.
Ron Mael's Moustache said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:05
Is Ameritroops code for Americorps? Am I reading that right?
Sure is! When I was in Americorps I received extensive subliminal guerilla warfare training (my specialty was IEDs) and thorough communist indoctrination in addition to helping out poor folks.
I’m just waiting for the trigger word.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:06
Ever notice how Boris’s muscley barbarians, both male and female, are often shown as highly skilled and successful warrior types that can kill all manor of dragons and hellbeasts, but they appear to be incapable of taking a decent sized fur bearing creature that would provide them with adequate cover to keep them warm in the winter?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:06
The muscley malebarbarian. Most of them would fail miserably at being the muscley female barbarians.
They truly are just 13-year-old boys in beer-bellied grown-ass men’s bodies, aren’t they?
Face Reader said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:07
Why is this described as interactive? From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself. I would rather masturbate.
Scott said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:10
It doesn’t matter if Vallejo or Frazetta are drawing them — your average wingnut got his personality upload from Piers Anthony’s Xanth novels.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:10
they appear to be incapable of taking a decent sized fur bearing creature that would provide them with adequate cover to keep them warm in the winter?
You know, all the times I’ve
wanked toadmired Vallejo’s work, that never occured to me.I wonder why…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:11
Why is this described as interactive? From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself. I would rather masturbate.
You’re ranked against other people and supposedly get money. And babes.
And I masturbate to choose your own adventure books all the time. I don’t see how this is any different.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:11
I would rather masturbate.
That’s the interactive part.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:12
You’re ranked against other people and supposedly get money. And babes.
Lovely. What’s a wingnut fantasy without Women as currency?
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:12
but they appear to be incapable of taking a decent sized fur bearing creature that would provide them with adequate cover to keep them warm in the winter?
It’s a feature, not a bug.
They truly are just 13-year-old boys in beer-bellied grown-ass men’s bodies, aren’t they?
If you could use tine travel to show their 13-year-old selves what they will look like in 30 years, there’d be mass suicide.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:13
And I masturbate to choose your own adventure books all the time.
Is it too much to hope for a newsletter?
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:15
I think the Republicans are supposed to sweep back into power in the 2010 elections, so Obama dissolves the Congress.
Riiiight. “Let’s come up with an utterly impossible scenario in which we overthrow a legitimate government while deploring THEIR coup!” Fucking moral relativists. Whiny-assed cowards.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:16
You know, all the times I’ve
wanked toadmired Vallejo’s work, that never occured to me.I wonder why…
I guess that’s why they call it fantasy art.
Why is this described as interactive? From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself.
Obviously you would have to interact with the computer, what are you a moran? (Also presumably you would interact with Paypal or somesuch.)
mmy said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:17
Are you allowed to play as the Obama loyalists? Because I would totally want to match “wits” with Major Malkin.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:18
Lovely. What’s a wingnut fantasy without Women as currency?
I’m pretty sure that’s what 90% of survivalism is about.
My dad had a survivalist period. Apparently, he wanted my mother to continue to breastfeed my brother well out of infancy so that she could feed the whole family in case the apocalypse occurred.
And no, no newsletter, so don’t even ask.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:18
You’re ranked against other people and supposedly get money. And babes.
Lovely. What’s a wingnut fantasy without Women as currency?
For some reason, the phrase “72 virgins” springs to mind…
The Goddamn Batman Is 100% For The Horde! said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:18
Even as outnumbered as the prObama forces are, you still don’t have the option of playing on their side. I think we all know what would happen if that were an option.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:19
I guess that’s why they call it fantasy art.
Vampirella got me thru high school.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:20
And no, no newsletter, so don’t even ask.
For some reason, a survivalist using his wife as a cow is less appealing than Vallejoisms.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:20
Apparently, he wanted my mother to continue to breastfeed my brother well out of infancy so that she could feed the whole family in case the apocalypse occurred.
I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or intrigued.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:22
Obama has promised a new era of equality and peace.
Dem is fighting words!
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:23
Vampirella got me thru high school.
What, you cheated off her at test time?
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:24
What, you cheated off her at test time?
She fucked the gym teacher and then ate him.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:24
Apparently, he wanted my mother to continue to breastfeed my brother well out of infancy so that she could feed the whole family in case the apocalypse occurred.
I’m trying to come to grips with this concept. What does mom feed on and why can’t she just share that with the family?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:25
I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or intrigued.
Grossed out. Trust.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:25
I think the players are supposed to be goaded into ‘interactivity’ with real life by actually pulling some of the stunts in the game.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:27
I’m trying to come to grips with this concept. What does mom feed on and why can’t she just share that with the family?
I’ve wondered that, myself. I don’t know, maybe he thought we’d get sick of canned food? All I know is that I hope his plans included a breast pump. *shudder*
J— said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:27
New game starts tonight.
From the United States of Earth main page: “Bribes. Babes. Beer. Word!”
If you go to the bottom of the Obama coup game page (D. Aristophanes’ third link), you can see the user names of the top players. Full lists of Obama coup players here.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:33
Full lists of Obama coup players here.
Not to panic, there’s still hope. After all, the Democratic Commie Bastards are in the top five in all categories. Go get ‘em Democratic Commie Bastards!
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:34
And I presume the Democratic Commie Bastards are led by our own B^4.
Anthony said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:38
http://www.youtube.com/user/USofE#p/a/u/1/muA_95eHGo8
Action-Packed!
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:42
Action-Packed!
When they release this for Wii, let me know.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:42
And I presume the Democratic Commie Bastards are led by our own B^4.
Crouch down and hide behind the big guys! Wait, that includes me…
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:43
Action-Packed!
Hm. I think I’d rather masturbate to Oregon Trail.
soullite said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:43
I love how normal people clearly have no concept of what setting off 11 nuclear weapons in the middle east would actually do to the planet, the region, and it’s inhabitants. Lets cover a huge portion of the globe with an irradiated dust cloud and see how well that works out for us.
This is why I’m glad human beings used nuclear weapons while they were still weak enough to be recovered from. It’s clear that even now, people tend to view these weapons as being really big bombs. I shudder to think what would have happened if we hadn’t seen some small demonstration of what the absolute weakest of these weapons could do. Still, people think you can fight a war with nuclear weapons.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:45
Not sure how I would feel if this whole game was revealed to be a massive sting operation by the DHS.
The civil libertarian side of me would express some concern while my schadenfreude side could manage a chuckle or two (or three) at the expense of the Generalissimo Franco-wanabees.
LittlePig said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:45
I keep seeing stuff about babes on the site. I don’t see any babes. Where are the babes???
I expect you have to trade government employee ears for the babes.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:45
Hm. I think I’d rather masturbate to Oregon Trail.
I’d rather masturbate to Meghan McCain’s cleavage.
Andrew N.P. said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:46
Aw crap. I clicked the link. Now I’m probably on some DHS list somewhere.
…depending on the breaks.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:46
Not sure how I would feel if this whole game was revealed to be a massive sting operation by the DHS.
Yeah, I’m actually a little worried that I’m on some sort of list just for looking at the damn thing now.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:47
I see where Glenn Beck got Vaporub in his eyes again, just in time for the camera to close in on his tears.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:47
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Default Can we get some graphics depicting us killing off the Presidents People?
That really would be cool but I guess the site would get in trouble though.
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Old 10-05-2009, 12:34 AM
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Yeah, I’m sure the Obama Administration would jump at the chance to shut down anything critical of them.
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J— said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:47
Action-Packed!
This channel’s full list of videos include 3 news anchor tests. Babes!
LittlePig said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:48
Hm. I think I’d rather masturbate to Oregon Trail.
As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail, I guess that’s OK.
Ted the Slacker said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:48
I love how normal people clearly have no concept of what setting off 11 nuclear weapons in the middle east would actually do to the planet, the region, and it’s inhabitants.
They also haven’t figured out what it would do to the price of gas.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:49
Link for above comments
http://www.usofearth.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=27
LittlePig said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:51
Not sure how I would feel if this whole game was revealed to be a massive sting operation by the DHS.
Now that the camps are built, we gotta find
inmatesguests somehow.actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:51
As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail
*putting down comic page*
What now?
LittlePig said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:53
I love how normal people clearly have no concept of what setting off 11 nuclear weapons in the middle east would actually do to the planet, the region, and it’s inhabitants.
On the plus side, mutating those godawful sand spiders into giant size will finally give Godzilla a good workout.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:53
This channel’s full list of videos include 3 news anchor tests. Babes!
That might be the worst description of those three women I’ve ever imagined.
The Tragically Flip said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:53
An Agent of Acorn tries to shove socialist ideology! down your throat
> ask agent who is john galt
Socialist ideology! attack misses!
> lynch agent
Acorn Agent dodges lynch attack with fiat currency
> call fox news
Fox News summons angry redneck mob!
Acorn agent flees!
Acorn agent drops Election rigging manual.
You gain 22 wolverine points
There is an object here.
Directions available: (right, far right)
> _
Citizen_X said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:53
Action-Packed!
Geeaaawwwddd, after listening to that idiot, I’m not worried at all. It turns out Interhamwe Online is pretty pathetically stupid.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:56
Flip FTW!
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:58
I just had a sudden flashback to high school: I was walking down a lockered-walled hallway and I heard a voice somewhere between soprano and tenor call out “I have 16 strength points.”
It’s hot in my office but I can’t stop shivering.
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:58
The Tragically Flip said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:53 (kill)
“You have been eaten by a grue.”
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:58
Sounds like a non-stop, action-packed thrill-ride
Or maybe a non-start, fudge-packed, couch-ride
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:58
Heh. Still chuckling over “children of the Corner.”
LittlePig said,
October 16, 2009 at 16:58
I’m seeing this as a Boris Vallejo poster…
That’s exactly what I was thinking as I read that.
The Borg has banned access to the poster, but I’m almost certain it’s the one I had on my office wall back in the 90’s (ahhh, I miss those days when the boss lived in another state and only came by a couple of times a year. I had a beautiful poster of Linsner’s Dawn on the wall, too).
Vampirella got me thru high school.
Right there with ya, pal.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:00
Well played, Flip. That triggered my nostalgia circuits.
LittlePig said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:01
Megadildos, er, Megadittos. That was a thing of beauty, Flip.
The Red Badger of Courage said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:01
DeadCell DeadCell is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2
Default
Yeah, I’m sure the Obama Administration would jump at the chance to shut down anything critical of them.
Self-unawareness, I haz it.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:06
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 15:41
“We should set up a liberal version of this game:
2011: Obama’s Policy Agenda For Incremental Change Partially Enacted, Largely Compromised.”
Ooh, can I be Max Baucus?
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:10
Ooh, can I be Max Baucus?
Hey now! You have to work your way up to mediocrity! Everyone starts out as a Blue Dog congressman!
GregB said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:11
Breitbart was las seen sipping a dry martini and giving the finger to a brigade of Obama Youth from the balcony of a posh resort hotel.
-G
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:12
As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail, I guess that’s OK.
Never! I prefer Prince Valiant.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:15
Never! I prefer Prince Valiant.
Not the ultra-hawt Andy Capp?
partially-furnished shipping container said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:27
Under Canadexico’s new universal healthcare regime, wingnuts will have affordable access to the medications they so obviously need.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:27
March 4, 2011 – Former Vice President Biden was captured today after an incredible firefight in Arlington, Virginia. Biden’s Ameri-Troops and Islamic Warrior Guard were gunned down by the Virginia Citizens Militia and elements from T.A.M. (Texas Arizona Militia) with Sean Hannity, the former FOX broadcaster, leading the way.
March 5, 2011 – As former FOX broadcaster Sean Hannity leads the Virginia Citizens Malitia and elements of the T.A.M. back towards the FOX studios for a
fair and balancedpropaganda interview they are ambushed by the M.O.R.A.N (Miltia of Richmond and Norfolk) Led by former FOX broadcaster Alan Colmes and are wiped out in the famous battle now known as Colmes Comeback.Citizen_X said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:28
As long as you aren’t masturbating to Mark Trail, I guess that’s OK.
Sigh. The furries get a comic they can call their own, and still the hate continues.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:29
Not the ultra-hawt Andy Capp?
You can never see his eyes. I don’t trust a man when you can’t see his eyes.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:30
Also, Zork references FTW. Also.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:35
Not the ultra-hawt Andy Capp?
You can never see his eyes. I don’t trust a man when you can’t see his eyes.
“His eyes! What have you done to his eyes?!”
“He has his father’s eyes.”
“Who was his father, Dean Martin?”
MzNicky said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:35
Is there anyone these people don’t hate? Including themselves?
watchdog said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:36
This sounds a lot like the rapture game that came out a couple of years back, only more sad and pathetic.
I like how fat boy was already executed, probably tried to get out of fighting with his ass-boil again.
Hannety the mannitie as a leader in the revolution, that sounds like a crappy comic book I’ve heard of, probably where they got the idea for this ‘game’.
Woodrowfan said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:37
I guess this is their way to develop a video game whose basic purpose is to shoot blacks and other non-whites. “Obama’s Coup” sells better than “SHOOT THE SP*CS” & N****RS!”
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:42
BREAKING NEWS!
The Cong Loses Control, Pelosi Captured!
March 7th, 2011 – Former Speaker of the House and War Criminal Nancy Pelosi was captured today. Militia leaders Ollie North and Rand Paul (son of Ron Paul) received an intelligence report from an unnamed source helping to pinpoint the witch’s whereabouts. When they caught up to her she was unconscious and on her chest was pinned a paper with a small hand written poem. There once was a Speaker named Nancy, who said some things that were chancy. She pissed off some spies and that wasn’t wise, because those guys can play nasty.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:46
Ron Paul’s son is really named Rand? Why am I so shocked by this?
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:48
Hannety the mannitie as a leader in the revolution, that sounds like a crappy comic book I’ve heard of, probably where they got the idea for this ‘game’.
To imagine any of the Wingnut Welfare contingent leading a revolution is a sure sign of Teh Fail.
Move over, Abraham Lincoln. Make way for the Andrew Breitbart Brigade!
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:50
We are all laughing at the abject stupidity but this is not funny. These people are seriously twisted.
Waterboarding…. Torture or Watersport?
March 14, 2011 – Today outside Washington D.C., while conducting house to house searches for loyalists of the former President, Militia Patriots came across an isolated house where they found 4 men spreading wax on what appeared to be a department store mannequin. Upon closer inspection it was revealed that the mannequin was indeed none other than former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the 4 men were CIA agents who asked to remain anonymous. When asked, one of the agents said that they explicitly waited until just after she received her Botox treatment. He also added, “She was so stiff from being injected with so much Botox that we decided that we could use her as a surfboard. After all, for as much fun as water-boarding is, surfing is way cooler.” The CIA has been on the side of the Patriots and against Obama ever since the President figuratively stabbed them in the back in 2009 allowing the criminal Eric Holder to investigate agents who helped safeguard American freedom. The Militia left Pelosi in the hands of the CIA agents as requested.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:53
Ron Paul’s son is really named Rand? Why am I so shocked by this?
Short for Randal, hoping to replace Bunning as junior senator for KY.
Scott said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:56
These guys are so dumb, they can’t even do masturbatory power fantasies right.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:56
Ron Paul’s son is really named Rand? Why am I so shocked by this?
Bet his brother is named McNally.
Anthony said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:58
That would appear to be the second ‘news story’ that involves Nancy Pelosi being tortured and humiliated to death by the CIA. They can’t even refrain from being evil in their idealized fantasy world!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:59
Bet his brother is named McNally.
Goddammit, I choked on my coffee.
jim said,
October 16, 2009 at 17:59
Anyone that thinks Canada is chomping at the bit to take on a colony that’s got a surplus of heavily armed pinheads & is more than ten trillion in the hole needs to save me the roach from that shit.
We’re not as smart as we used to be (THX TEE-VEE!), but we’re not brain-dead.
Sorry to have missed the stirring end of this highly edifying post … but it’s harder than one might think to read & facepalm at the same time.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:00
That would appear to be the second ‘news story’ that involves Nancy Pelosi being tortured and humiliated to death by the CIA.
Question (because I am too lazy to check): Are similar torturings and humiliations being visited upon male politicians in this fantasy world?
J— said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:02
that sounds like a crappy comic book I’ve heard of, probably where they got the idea for this ‘game’.
Ah, yes, Liberality. I had forgotten about that. Thanks.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:04
In case you were wondering where Bill ‘O the Clown fits in to all this . . .
“Unfortunately, Bill O’Reilly, the FOX News giant who disappeared in January when the purges began, was taken into custody by Obama Forces during the purges, it was later learned. One eyewitness said O’Reilly kept repeating, “I can’t believe communists, but they’re not a threat. How can this be.” O’Reilly often said this to others, especially Glenn Beck, before the coup. So many in the media had no clue at the machine being put into place by Obama and the left. It is feared that he was murdered weeks ago but no evidence has emerged yet. We are all praying for Mr. O’Reilly’s safety.”
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:10
Wait, I missed this:
just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.
So, to recap, on the Obama side we’ve got ACORN, the Ameritroops (formerly Americorps volunteers), the Black Panthers, Suicide Bombers (a somewhat short-lived fighting force) communists, C.O.R.N.Y., the SEIU, the UN, and Hamas???
And, after all the efforts by Israel, the EU, the US, Fatah, Egypt, etc, Hamas is “defeated” by none other than Andrew Breitbart?? In Virgina, no less!!
Chortle.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:12
And, after all the efforts by Israel, the EU, the US, Fatah, Egypt, etc, Hamas is “defeated” by none other than Andrew Breitbart??
He used sarcasm!
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:13
while conducting house to house searches for loyalists
So spake the “Patriotic” forces of the Right. Ni-i-i-i-i-c-e.
Great vision of society. I’m eager to hear how they plan to rule now that victory has been achieved.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:14
the famous battle now known as Colmes Comeback.
You sure that’s not Colmes Comb-over?
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:16
C.O.R.N.Y. Now Completely Leaderless
March 12, 2011 – C.O.R.N.Y.’s leadership is no more. Their last competent commander, if you can call him that, was shot and killed in battle against the Texas Militia. It is believed that Chuck Norris himself personally took him out with an assist from the Georgia and Illinois Militias. The battle took place just outside Prince William County, formerly thought of as C.O.R.N.Y. territory until the Marine Corp decided to throw them out. Hundreds of Marines from Quantico would nightly disobey orders and launch small attacks up and down the County to destroy the communists.
[CHUCK NORRIS, CHECK.]
The Cong’s Last Illiterate Caught
March 12, 2011 – The Cong’s last (and almost illiterate) Democratic leader has been caught in Fairfax County. Maxine Waters thought she could blend in with the poor in the shanty town she helped create due to the fake Global Warming, Health and other various Communistic bills. She was found out by Militia when she was trying to organize a rally in Washington, D.C. for her husband’s bank in Massachusetts. She was already investigated for her role in getting stimulus money to that very bank but it was squashed by the war criminal Holder and the Justice Department. The trial is set for 4 weeks from today.
[VEILED RACISM, CHECK]
Chevez Captured At a Citgo Gas Station
March 11, 2011 – Chavez, former Marxist Leader of Venezuela was captured at a CITGO station outside Washington D.C. . The “Boys from Cali’ as they call themselves along with The Vermont Militia and the usual blood-thirsty Texan Patriots were among those who captured him. As they pulled him from the gas tank, one of the militia commanders named Rodriguez played ‘La Cucaracha’ loudly with his iPod causing riotous laughter among the other Patriots. Chavez had sought the safety of Washington D.C. right after Obama began his Media Purges in January, after his own Chavistas were defeated by Colombia in the War he started in 2010.
[SEE THE MILITIA GUY IS NAMED RODRIGUEZ SO ITS TOTALLY NOT RACIST]
Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart Prevail
March 11, 2011 – Since before the Revolution, it was Andrew Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly who led the way against the Marxists in I.S.U.E. and C.O.R.N.Y. Now in the final weeks of the Second American Revolution, Michelle Malkin has announced her candidacy for the Senate in the elections that are to take place 60 days after Obama is captured. Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions and just last night he was instrumental in the defeat of Hamas and the Ameritroops in King George County.
Andrew N.P. said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:17
They don’t. The whole point of the game is that the wingnuts are killing each other once they’ve run out of lib’ruls to kill. Actual governance is boring. A massively multiplayer civil war? Now that’s change we can believe in!
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:21
Are you guys who are posting the news updates actually playing this thing?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:24
So, where are all the feminists and queers in this? I hope we’re headed up by Rachel Maddow–she would look totally hot in an Obamacommiefascisthamascorny uniform.
Anthony said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:26
No, near the bottom of the homepage is a news thing you can scroll through, I don’t even know how the game actually works but there’s so much on the periphery of it.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:27
Michelle Obama Captured By Militia, America Celebrates
March 10, 2011 – Michelle Obama was caught in Orange County at 1100 hrs by Joseph Farah’s Militia. Patriots became wary when in the wilderness they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs. While panic may not seem out of the ordinary during a time if civil unrest and revolution, the group was vexed when a wide eyed woman in a peasant’s gown threw herself at their feet and begged to know, “Where are the electrical outlets out here?! HOW WILL I EVER BLOW DRY MY HAIR?!!” Other exclamations made by the occupants of the shanty town as they hurried to and fro, overturning rocks in desperation: “Where!! Where can I find L’Oreal Medium to Dark Natural Powder non pore-clogging concealer!?” “WHY ARE THERE NO DRY CLEANERS HERE!?” The militia was eventually led to Michelle Obama when a man stomped out of a sloppily-constructed shack, turned to the group and demanded that they “EXPLAIN TO THE QUEEN WHY THERE ARE NO MORE GRAPES!!” Joseph Farah, the owner of Worldnet Daily, said ” America has risen and with God’s help we will never fall asleep at the wheel again. Obama has awoken the sleeping giant and there is no power on earth that will stop us.”
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:27
Chavez, former Marxist Leader of Venezuela was captured at a CITGO station outside Washington D.C. . The “Boys from Cali’ as they call themselves along with The Vermont Militia and the usual blood-thirsty Texan Patriots were among those who captured him. As they pulled him from the gas tank, one of the militia commanders named Rodriguez played ‘La Cucaracha’ loudly with his iPod causing riotous laughter among the other Patriots. Chavez had sought the safety of Washington D.C. right after Obama began his Media Purges in January, after his own Chavistas were defeated by Colombia in the War he started in 2010.
“The Boys from Cali” cocaine cartel are on the side of the “good guys?”
“La Cucaracha”, of course, was a song, similar to Yankee Doodle, sung with improvised lyrics by revolutionaries during an uprising, but it was a song of the MEXICAN revolution, and sung by factions on both sides – I can’t possibly imagine these idiots are educated well enough to know that, but I can’t help but be tickled by the fact that they think the sound of a Mexican revolutionary political ditty would be something used to humiliate a Venezuelan.
Or perhaps they’re just channeling their inner Interhamwe and going right for the cockroach reference.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:28
There’s got to a be a hack to the game that we can exploit. Imagine turning it into a game where all the conservatives are rounded up and forced to wear footy pajamas while watching Oprah.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:28
Or perhaps they’re just channeling their inner Interhamwe and going right for the cockroach reference.
They’ve already got their own special Radio Rwanda, so why not?
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:29
I have to take a shower now.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:29
“The Boys from Cali” cocaine cartel are on the side of the “good guys?”
Could be California.
WESTSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:29
I actually busted out “children of the Corner” just over a year ago. Righteous Bubba gave it a thumbs up. Man, I miss that guy – whatever happened to RB?
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:30
whatever happened to RB?
He’s moved onto something of more substance.
Anthony said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:31
OT: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/interracial-couple-denied_n_322784.html
Well, I’m certainly convinced he’s not racist.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:32
Breitbart is still leading the Breitbart Brigade and is seeing heavy action against Obama’s minions
Good for him, I think it’s been a while since Breitbart’s little brigadeer has seen any action, heavy or otherwise.
Citizen_X said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:32
[SEE THE MILITIA GUY IS NAMED RODRIGUEZ SO ITS TOTALLY NOT RACIST]
Hm. Let’s see:
Rodriguez played ‘La Cucaracha’ loudly with his iPod causing riotous laughter among the other Patriots.
I call Fail, there.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:32
Rachel Maddow–she would look totally hot in an Obamacommiefascisthamascorny uniform.
Newsletter, subscription, &c.
On the topic of hawt newsbabes, I’ve fallen for a Fox News Anchor.
owlbear1 said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:33
The game sounds like it needs an option for the player’s own name to show in the headlines.
“{Player – McSmacs/e,mm\/} detonates 878 pounds of C4 in the Cty/County Main hall during a council meeting – saves America!”
I guess that is probably a ‘Premium Service’?
The “Platinum Level”?
handy said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:35
He’s moved onto something of more substance
Care to have the gravitas to elaborate?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:35
Well, I’m certainly convinced he’s not racist.
Of course not! He has “piles and piles” of black friends!
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:36
they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.
Serfs? Really, serfs? You know, enslaved peasants considered the property of landowners?
Are they saying that sometime between Teh Great Coup of January 20, 2011 and March 10, feudalism was re-established in Orange County, CA?
Or is it just wishful thinking on their part?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:43
…they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.
Actually, that’s a typo. It was supposed to be 26 panicked serifs, one for each letter. Having made their escape from Times New Roman, they naturally panicked when they saw a militia approaching. Cripes, you know how many serifs there are in the word “militia”? It’s got bits sticking out all over.
bjacques said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:43
Hmm, Sarah Palin, fur bikini…Red Sonja’s busy. How about a right-wing Octobriana?
Goddammit, I had a look over there and immediately failed my saving throw against Stupid.
a grue ate your mom said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:48
how would these people react if there were any real chance of the democrats electing a president whose actual positions were anywhere to the left of reagan’s? spazzes.
Vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:49
This game makes my eyes rain.
itwasntme said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:50
obviously a misspelling for 26 panicked surfers. Orange County, after all.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:51
“So, where are all the feminists and queers in this? I hope we’re headed up by Rachel Maddow–she would look totally hot in an Obamacommiefascisthamascorny uniform.”
And where’s Barney Frank? Didn’t he mastermind the economic collapse by allowing the coloreds to buy houses thus providing a pretense for the Obama dictatorship? You would think he would lead the Forces of Anti-Good or something. Or maybe its because all liberals are gay so its sorta assumed.
The Tragically Flip said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:51
Re: Interracial couple refused marriage license
Well, the guy’s defence is original at least:
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:52
“I have piles and piles of black friends
Indeed. He stacks them like cordwood.
Citizen_X said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:53
It was supposed to be 26 panicked serifs
Great. Now you’ve called the Kerners down upon our heads.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:55
And where’s Barney Frank?
Right there in the Breaking News:
Barney Frank: Friend to All Corruption Escapes
And who’s tasked with tracking down the “Friend to All Corruption”? Ollie North. I shit you nawt.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:57
they use my bathroom
Well, that’s mighty white of him, don’t you think?
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 18:59
they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.
Whoops! I think someone is letting their inner Draka come out. Behold the endgame of all wingnut wankdom:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Domination
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:00
He’s the leader of F.A.C.E.? They shoulda went with “Force of Anti-Good”. Who writes their crap?
Woodrowfan said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:01
I really do fear for my country. Anywhere from 1/4 to 1/3d are completely batcrap insane…
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:02
nevermind
jim said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:02
I have to take a shower now.
It’s not quite as painful if you go for a higher-number grit on the sandpaper – or so I’ve heard.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:09
The silver lining to the existence of this game (other than the EPIC hilarity) is that, since the currency is all “Bribes. Babes. Beer. Word!”, Chinese gold-farmers in this MMO are actual beer-farmers, which is a god-damn kickass job title.
CapMidnight said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:10
…they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.
Actually, that’s a typo. It was supposed to be 26 panicked serifs
No, it’s “smerfs.” Still misspelled, but Smurfs are beings in a “blue state,” y’see.
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:10
And who’s tasked with tracking down the “Friend to All Corruption”? Ollie North.
Ollie North is 66 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be running around leading a brigade and such?
Dragon-King Wangchuck, professional beer farmer said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:16
Well the secret is not to camp the Islamists, they never have any good drops, I’ve yet to see any beer from a Muslin. Plus there are always hordes of n00bs hanging around to get a shot at the mullahs.
MzNicky said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:17
So, where are all the feminists and queers in this?
Dunno about the queers, but this whole scenario reminds me of Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:20
Ollie North is 66 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be running around leading a brigade and such?
Well it’s only fair, Barney Frank is 69 after all.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:20
…they discovered a small village of 26 panicked serfs.
If they’re already pulling Ollie North out of retirement, this sounds like a job for William Calley.
MzNicky said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:22
“Well, I’m certainly convinced he’s not racist.”
“Of course not! He has ‘piles and piles’ of black friends!”
Not only that — he’s actually let blacks “use his bathroom”! He’s not only not racist, he’s a SOCIALEST!!
MzNicky said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:23
Bah. Disregard above comment. Beaten to the punch as always.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:24
Dunno about the queers, but this whole scenario reminds me of Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.
I’m sure more than a couple of these guys would see Gilead as some sort of utopia.
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:29
“I have piles and piles of black friends.”
“My black buds are always “hanging” at my place.”
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:31
And, after all the efforts by Israel, the EU, the US, Fatah, Egypt, etc, Hamas is “defeated” by none other than Andrew Breitbart?? In Virgina, no less!!
Years and years and years ago I read a “sci-fi” novel that I thought was a parody but turned out not to be called The Texas-Israeli War: 1999. Who knew in 1974 that this was a growing genre?
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:32
I’m sure more than a couple of these guys would see Gilead as some sort of utopia.
Not unless they stock up on some more goddamned balm.
bjacques said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:36
I remember “The Texas-Israeli War 1999!” The two surviving ReTex metropolises are Crystal City and Dimebox. The beer from one tastes like horse piss. The beer from the other tastes like kerosene. I forget which is which.
N__B said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:43
I remember “The Texas-Israeli War 1999!”
You have my sympathies.
The only thing I remember is a Texan stripper dressed as Uncle Sam so that her clientele would cheer extra-hard for clothing removal. The fact that the writers felt they had to come up with a reason why men would want a stripper to removed her clothing displays their fiction-creating abilities all too clearly.
mmy said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:46
Ollie North is 66 years old. Isn’t that a little old to be running around leading a brigade and such?
On a serious note, I think the presence of Ollie North and Internet pundits in the game as major heroes tells either (a) how deep the rage of these people is, or (b) how short the Republican bench is of people who will satisfy that rage.
Assuming the game was written before Joe Wilson’s outburst, how many politicians are going to lead the way in their fantasy revolution? You think the sort of person who plays this game is going to be happy with Admiral McCain? Nope, they’re going to imagine that Michelle Malkin has any concept of warfare, or go way back into the past for Ollie North first.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:51
And to think that a scant 8 years ago, these “people” posed as the Defenders of Civilization. Love’s a bitch when it’s unrequited, innit?
Just curious if any of the more famous wingnuts mentioned in that game would feel somewhat, um, defamed by being included in the game’s narrative. I’m certain that those nutters’ reactions would prove…interesting.
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:51
How they see themselves.
How everybody else sees them.
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:54
It has to be a parody. It has to be a parody. It has to be a parody.
Djur said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:54
Yes. Snark aside, the teabaggers actually think that Americorps is a tool of the ACORNic conspiracy to make Obama Sultan-For-Life of the Islamic Ummah of America.
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:56
FYWP,WARGW.
How they see themselves.
How everyone else sees them.
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:58
Americans, thoroughly disgusted with the socialistic programs that have been thrust upon them over the last few years
There they go again with their thrusting fantasies. “He told Socialism to stop, but what he really meant was, ‘yes, take me!’”
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:59
On a serious note, I think the presence of Ollie North and Internet pundits in the game as major heroes tells either (a) how deep the rage of these people is, or (b) how short the Republican bench is of people who will satisfy that rage.
It’s kind of disturbing that the dude who talks about shooting ATF agents in the head is one of their big heroes.
Please to keep snarking on these people, because they’re starting to scare me.
MzNicky said,
October 16, 2009 at 19:59
how short the Republican bench is [veiled penis ref. &etc.]
Indeed. Who in tarnation is the “head” of the Repigs now anyway? Anyone? Um … Michael Steele (intense evil giggling)?! Limpballs? the Malkin thing? Glynda Bleecchh?! Haw haw! They have met the enemy and it is their own sorry-ass selves!! Haw haw haw
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:01
fixxored
Scott said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:02
Hell, I remember a book back from the Clinton years called “The First 100 Days,” which was basically a fantasy about how many sinners they were going to kill when the Great Conservative Dictatorship came to pass. Only saw the first couple of chapters — haven’t found it anywhere since…
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:02
They have met the enemy and it is their own sorry-ass selves!! Haw haw haw
Like the “Haw haw haw” at end there. So very Jack T. Chick
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:11
Well it’s only fair, Barney Frank is 69 after all.
Heh heh. You said “69″.
heh heh. heh heh
g said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:29
thoroughly disgusted with the socialistic programs that have been thrust upon them over the last few years
Wow, Cash for Clunkers is all we got to date, he’s got to get pretty busy between now and next year if he’s going to get around to establishing Chavez-led paramilitary Hamas/Marxist Black Panthers! Maybe he better lay off those date nights, after all.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:32
Now g, in fairness, Bush did bailout the bankstahs.
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:34
When I’m feeling crizazy I don’t even take a Silkwood shower after coming in contact with them. See how tolerant I am?
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:35
Oh, and I have to add, with thanks to Tina Fey: I tolerate black people. I tolerate them with all my heart.
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:38
Actually I find the second picture oddly endearing. There’s nothing endearing–oddly or otherwise–about these knuckledraggers.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:42
Wow, Cash for Clunkers is all we got to date, he’s got to get pretty busy between now and next year if he’s going to get around to establishing Chavez-led paramilitary Hamas/Marxist Black Panthers! Maybe he better lay off those date nights, after all.
Not to mention building thousands of madrassahs throughout the Heartland.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:45
Wow, Cash for Clunkers is all we got to date, he’s got to get pretty busy between now and next year if he’s going to get around to establishing Chavez-led paramilitary Hamas/Marxist Black Panthers! Maybe he better lay off those date nights, after all.
Not to mention building thousands of madrassahs throughout the Heartland.
And the FEMA Death Camps. Don’t forget the FEMA Death Camps!
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:47
The ones in the Heartland have better hot dogs.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:48
The ones in the Heartland have better hot dogs.
Hot dogs are too conservative for an Islamofascist madrassa to serve. They’d have organic falafels.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:52
Let’s not forget the H1N1 vaccine, kiddos. Which is, oddly enough, a place where lefty and righty wingnuttia converge.
Teabag Jack said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:52
I hate Obama because I think his policies will harm America’s economy. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is a nigger.
Tina said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:53
I love their ToS. I think it might actually be more awesome than the game. For instance:
Which is, of course, why all their heroes are Republicans. It makes perfect sense.
another jim said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:54
ok guys. you have to see this.
http://www.redstate.com/gamecock/2009/10/14/how-limbaughs-embodiment-of-mlks-dream-changed-my-life/
“Rush dares to judge all by the content of their character and that threatens the race industry…”
And from there it spirals into peak crazy. A whole new reservoir of crazy.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:55
Hot dogs are too conservative for an Islamofascist madrassa to serve.
Made from tofu??????
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:57
the race industry
We here at Acme Bushbabies have a full line of racial charged products, including our most popular line, “Nappy Headed Ho”.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 20:58
And from there it spirals into peak crazy. A whole new reservoir of crazy.
“The Sergeant rebuked me with a kind of righteous indignation that had never been directed at me by anyone I didn’t call Daddy.”
HAWT.
All PENIS, all the time said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:01
They just need to find the right support group.
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:03
Is there more hot Sergeant on Patriot action in this game?
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:06
My favorite is the part about Michelle Malkin capturing, then executing Grahame Frost and all the other tots tainted by S-Chip socialism.
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:06
How they see themselves/How everyone else sees them:
Mac Bolen/Macaroni
James Bond/Barney Fife
Captain America/Captain Crunch
Indiana Jones/Indiana
Lone Ranger/Yosemite Sam
The Harlem Globetrotters (only white)/The Washington
NationalsGeneralsWalking Tall/Look Who’s Talking
Return of the Jedi/Spaceballs
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:08
May I, Steer?
Han Solo/Jabba the Hutt
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:09
Also.
JM said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:13
When Brent Bozell and Sean Hannity are your manly men, you need to start drinking monkey-nut smoothies. Lots of ‘em.
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:16
Actor, I would go more like:
Han Solo/Jar Jar
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:17
I never had known that Snerdly was black. Rush never mentioned that fact despite all the libel and slander against him and despite the fact that he regularly spoke back and forth with Snerdly (not heard) about such charges on the air.
That’s right. In the whole history of racism, no racist had ever worked, with, worked under or employed someone whose skin color he/she despised.
No – no words. No words to describe it. Wingnut Poetry! They should’ve sent a poet to that site. So beautiful. So beautiful… I had no idea.
DMG said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:17
“March 16, 2011 – It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” Michelle Malkin tops the list of Americans who put it all on the line to save this great land from Obama and dictatorship.”
WTF? How can anyone actually write this with a straight face after the pants-wetting support of doing away with habeus corpus, etc. in the Bush years? I mean, really….really?
Must bang head on something hard now.
mmy said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:17
Rorscharch / Ozymandias
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:18
Steer,
I was factoring in the weight differential
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:23
Walter Mitty / Walter Mitty
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:24
How about:
Edward R. Murrow/Ted Baxter
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:24
Father Christmas/Father Coughlin
Willy said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:26
Ahnuld Schwarzenegger / Wally Cox
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:26
Uncle Sam / Mr. Hat
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:27
Here’s some more:
Jules Winnfield/Brad
Butch/Zed
Vincent/Flock of Seagulls
Willy said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:27
WOLVERINES!!!1!!1! / Timmah (from South Park)
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:29
Twin Peaks “Bob”/SpongeBob
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:31
Captain America/Captain Kangaroo
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:32
The Roman Empire of Pax Imperium and oiled muscle-y sweaty dudes in short tunics / The militaristic totalitarian autocratic Roman Empire that wallowed in the occasional genocide
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:32
Dumbledore/Voldemort
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:32
Rorscharch / Ozymandias
Ozymandias, although bugfuck insane, is too smaht. I think rather
Rorschach / Dollar Bill
— Thinks he is a super hero, sponsored by the banks, gunned down in humiliating fashion due to a silly, over-elaborate costume when his cape gets caught in a revolving door. Mmmyeah, I think that’s a better fit.
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:33
John McClane / Inspector Clouseau
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:35
Bruce Lee/Bruce Jenner
Jackie Chan/Jackie Coogan (Addams Family Era)
Frederick the Great/Fred Flinstone
Michael Corleone/Fredo Corleone
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:35
Lassie/The Taco Bell Chiahuahua
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:35
Fonzie/Potsie Weber
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:36
Oliver North, hero / Oliver North, criminal
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:36
Field Marshal Rommel/Colonel Klink
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:37
I was going to go “George Patton/Patton Oswalt” but that would be insulting a very nice liberal guy.
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:38
This/http://redriverpak.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/simple20jack.jpg
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:38
Ken Masters / Ken Carson
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:38
Doctor Who/Dr. Zachary Smith
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:38
Sgt. Fury / Sarge Snorkel
Peyton Manning / JaMarcus Russell
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:39
Trying again…
This/This
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:39
Crouching Tiger/Hidden Chicken
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:40
William Wallace/Wallace Shawn
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:40
Sgt. York / Dick York
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:40
Rambo/Bimbo
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:40
Rambo / Gomer Pyle
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:41
Harry Truman/Truman Capote
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:41
John Wayne / John Wayne Gacy
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:42
Captain Kirk/Ensign Chekov
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:43
Ignatz/Krazy Kat
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:43
Predator / Predators
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:44
Douglas MacArthur / Bea Arthur
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:44
Charles Bronson/Charles Nelson Reilly
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:45
Chuck Norris / Chuckles the Clown
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:45
Rin Tin Tin / Huckleberry Hound
Crusader Rabbit / Roger Rabbit
Tony Soprano / Alto soprano
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:46
Patrick Swayze in Red Dawn / Patrick Swayze in To Wong Foo
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:47
Kiefer Sutherland in 24 / Kiefer Sutherland in Dark City
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:48
Bea Arthur was tough.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:48
The Professor / Gilligan
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:48
The Gipper / Bonzo
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:51
Sgt Saunders and Lt Hanley / Sgt O’Rourke and Cpl Agarn
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:51
Mel Gibson driving in The Road Warrior / Mel Gibson in another driving role
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:52
Major Threat/General Disaster
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:53
Hardy American stock / American laughingstock
Scott said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:54
Superman / Bizarro
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:54
I’m surprised it took me this long to come up with this:
Ronald Reagan / Ronald McDonald
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:56
Rorscharch / Ozymandias
I actually pondered The Comedian / The Riddler, but wondered if that was a bit too campy.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:57
John Galt/Veruca Salt
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:58
Perhaps The Comedian / Carrot Top ?
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:58
Sgt. York/York Peppermint Patty
justme said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:58
Yeaahh, ok.
Maybe more like the creepiest possible combination of these.
Innocent Bystander said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
What role does Dick Cheney and W play in this? I suppose Dick handles the logistics contracts, but W….would he be flying for TANG? Or would he be the Dictator-in-waiting? And where are the rest of the elected Republicans…no brigades for them to lead?
Sirius Lunacy said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
Tim Tebow/Tiny Tim
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
Perhaps The Comedian / Carrot Top ?
Have you seen how CT has bulked up???
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
The Godfather: Parts I & II/The Godfather: Part III
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
Winston Wolf/Wolf Blitzer
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
John Galt/Veruca Salt
*spit take*
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 21:59
Arnold Schwarzenegger / Danny DeVito
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:00
Have you seen how CT has bulked up???
I would NOT fuck with Carrot Top. Roid fucking RAGE, yo.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:00
As AWESOME as this thread is getting, I just have one more thing to add.
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:00
The character, not the group I’m assuming.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:01
The character, not the group I’m assuming.
Correct.
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:02
(Stealing from Willy, above …)
Wolverines!1! / Wile E. Coyote
(… had to get Wile E. in here somehow.)
vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:02
NAILED IT!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:02
As AWESOME as this thread is getting, I just have one more thing to add.
Great. Now I’m imagining Harvey Keitel and Wolf Blitzer banging. Ew.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:05
would he be flying for TANG?
I’m not clever enough to riff on this line, alas.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:07
Wolverine/Wolverines!!!1!
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:12
Ace Rimmer / Arnold Judas Rimmer
Lord Flashheart / Lord Percy Percy
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:13
would he be flying for TANG?
I’m not clever enough to riff on this line, alas.
No, but he be whoring for coke.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:14
Hummer / Hyundai
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:14
Tom Paine / tomfool
Andrew N.P. said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:14
Abe Lincoln / Abe Simpson
Smut Clyde said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:15
From the tutorial video, it looks like you play Risk by yourself. I would rather masturbate.
Multitasking, I have it.
“I have piles and piles of black friends
Indeed. He stacks them like cordwood.
In the woodpile SHUT UP SMUT
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:16
No, but he be whoring for coke.
And actor212 scores on the rebound!!!
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:16
Aw, mine got et. I have more where it came from, though, AND THEY’RE AT LEAST AS BAD!
Lion of Judah / LOLcat
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:17
Henry V / Bertie Wooster
Torture is Un-American said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:18
Standard Wingnut from what I can see. The real fantasy is winning the midterm.
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:20
John Glenn / Ed Wood
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:22
Chuck Yeager / Chuckie
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:22
I did say they were bad.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:23
Glenn Ford/Glenn Beck
Doug Watts said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:24
Given the well documented Dr. Zaius = L. Brent Bozell connection, I demand a climax with the Cold Trigger Fingered Corpse of Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty/Messican Border Wall sticking out of the sand of a lonely, acorn infested beach as global cooling and gay dolphin-safe tuna engulf the planet.
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:25
heaven/hell
blue skies/pain
green field/cold steel rail
smile/veil
Heroes/ghosts
hot ashes/trees
cold comfort/change
Xecky Gilchrist said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:25
Wingnut slash? Rule 34 is very hungry indeed.
laym said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:26
Heh. O/T, but this is how the 2010 midterms will go down, blarts:
Club for Growth Knocks Gingrich Over Scozzafava Endorsement
See also, the other freaks freaking out on memeorandum.
Also / Too
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:27
Another in nerddom…
Bill Adama/Gaius Baltar
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:28
Oooh, Planet of the Apes!
George Taylor / Rip Taylor
cletar said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:31
Howard Roark/Moe Howard
liberalrob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:31
Superman/Mr. Mxyzptlk
Batman/Die Fledermaus
Wonder Woman/Harley Quinn
Wolverine/Forbushman
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:33
Bach fugue / fugue state
Mahler’s last symphony / end stage syphilis
Oh yes, they can get so much worse.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:35
Hercules / Pretzie
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:36
TruculentandUnreliable
Another in nerddom…
Bill Adama/Gaius Baltar
Gaius Baltar/Baltar from the 1978 series.
The Fool said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:36
Maybe at the end they will have a huge patriotic circle jerk!
Oh wait…this whole game is one big “patriotic” circle jerk….
Xecky Gilchrist said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:38
I wondered what all those signs saying “McCain/Palin” were about.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:39
Gaius Baltar/Baltar from the 1978 series
Ouch. Come to think of it, the new Baltar gets laid far, far too much.
How about: the entire modern cast of BSG/the entire cast 1978 cast of BSG?
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:39
Star Wars IV, V & VI/Star Wars I, II & III
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:40
King Kong / Ding Dong
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:40
I wondered what all those signs saying “McCain/Palin” were about.
No, those were actually signs for a caged death match. Palin ducked out of it at the last minute.
cletar said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:41
Batman/Bat Mite
Citizen_X said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:42
Ahh, such is my fantasy!
ScottPuckett said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:42
Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando / Kuato in Total Recall
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:43
How about: the entire modern cast of BSG/the entire cast 1978 cast of BSG?
With the exception of Lorne Greene, I would agree with that.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:44
Prince / Morris Day
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:44
Tea Partiers / Teabaggers
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:46
And / Or
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:51
Fine Champagne / tasteless white whines
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:51
I turn 33 on March 12th 2011. Does anything exciting happen then?
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:51
Walter Winchell/Mark Levin
kingubu said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:51
So, its basically Fallout 3 presented as a series of RNC/WorldNutDaily talking points. I hope they spent a lot of money on development.
Also, Tragically Flip wins four whole fried Internets and a Coke for the ZORK bit. Also.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:53
The mind of Stephen Hawking in the body of Conan the Barbarian / Yeah, you probably see where this is going.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:53
Fresh Prince /
Michael SteeleCarlton BanksRusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:53
Mad / Cracked
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:54
Visible Pepsi / Invisible Pepsi
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:54
I turn 33 on March 12th 2011. Does anything exciting happen then?
You become five percent of the Mark of the Beast?
another jim said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:55
Clint Eastwood / Deputy Enos
John Wayne / Tom Arnold
Prince / Germaine Jackson
Led Zeppelin / Europe
Substance McGravitas said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:56
That guy’s on the wrong side of the slash.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:57
I turn 33 on March 12th 2011. Does anything exciting happen then?
My 30.5th birthday! I think that’s pretty fucking exciting, myself.
another jim said,
October 16, 2009 at 22:58
How about: the entire modern cast of BSG/the entire cast 1978 cast of BSG?
With the exception of Lorne Greene, I would agree with that.
I’m gonna disagree. I thought Dirk Benedict did a fine job, as well as Richard Hatch (1978 Apollo) who acted in the reboot as Tom Zarek and the original Gauis Baltar.
But if you mean the shows themselves, I’d have to agree there. If it weren’t for the pretty top-notch model design and good original art direction, and relied solely on the story, they’d be completely unwatchable
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:00
actor212
5%? I like it. The rest of my birthday will be spent doing low level evil. I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.
In…your…face…society.
Niels G. said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:00
John Belushi / Jim Belushi
Taxi / Taxi
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:01
I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.
Speak English, for criminy’s sake
Doctorb said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:02
And Ted Nugent was wroth with the officers of the militia, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle. And Teg Nugent said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? You did, you saved every damn woman alive, plus a whole bunch of women that don’t even exist. Behold, these chicks are no fun, and if you’re not having fun, you may as well move to Iraq or Cuba or some other hellhole where there ain’t no good times to be had. Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him, you know, fuckin’, right? But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep those sweet pieces of ass for yourselves, man. And take a friggin’ shower. Shit, man.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:02
I’ll hang around outside Monument tube station in London and send tourists the wrong way when they are trying to get to Bank tube.
Aren’t they connect–
Oh.
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:03
TruculentandUnreliable
I won’t lie, that’s exciting but I want something major to happen in the American civil war. I’m thinking that Obama leads his troops over the top and it results in ‘first day of the Somme’ like casualties. I’m sure those patriotic members of the right would beat themselves off silly thinking of their fellow Americans suffering 60,000 casualties in a day.
Doctorb said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:05
Update: C.O.R.N.Y. reconnaissance has discovered Dick Morris’s camp.
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:06
actor212
Not at the moment but a couple of months back I got off the central line at Bank and managed to find myself exiting at Monument. Christ knows how I managed that.
I blame Boris Johnson.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:08
Cthulhu/Squiddly Diddly
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:10
Rusty Shackleford
Don’t make me get cockney on your arse….
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:11
I won’t lie, that’s exciting but I want something major to happen in the American civil war
You’re totally lying. That’s nice, though.
But yeah, I was looking at their cute little map with all the different counties they were planning on divvying up, and thought, “Hey, I have friends who live there, and a friend’s daughter lives there, and my cousin lives there…what in the fuck is wrong with these people?”
Steerpike said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:11
Tarzan/George of the Jungle
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:13
UKDave,
I won’t mention how I spent an hour trying to find my way out of Tower Hill station, only to find I had boarded a train to Victoria.
I was a bit pinted up, you see…
Vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:15
Out of curiosity how many here are in their 30’s ? I just turned 37.
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:18
TruculentandUnreliable
Hey, they think war is something glorious where everyone gets medals and it’s all great. It makes me sick to my stomach.
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:24
actor212 said,
Hey, the UK is all about the pints! Getting pissed and staggering onto the wrong train is a rite of passage in this country.
Funny story. First time I got pissed was on my 13th birthday. By the time I had staggered back to my parents house I had lost my house keys and also one shoe. The loss of the shoe troubled me as I found myself walking slightly in circles. I got to the front door, leaned on it and rang the doorbell. My Dad came down and let me in. The door opens inwards so I essentially fell in and was laid out on the floor. Instead of going nuts my Dad laughed his arse off and just said ‘Don’t let your Mum see you like this’.
I love our drinking culture.
Djur said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:26
All of this talk about CORNY makes me want to make some sort of terrible joke about Hairspray, but I’m too fuzzy-headed from the plague to pull it off. Halp.
actor212 said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:29
So do I, except there’s the whole thing about chatting up some girl in pub and taking her out for a snog and finding out she’s 14, and you’re, well, older than your twenties, and neither of you realized it IN the pub because it was so bloody crowded, noisy and dark.
And how did you find out? Her bloody mobile rang with fookin’ Wet Wet Wet or some such sodding boy band….
Djur said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:30
Oh, I’m sure… I totally believe you. uh-huh. :P
Johnny Pez said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:31
Dr. Johnny Fever/Rockin’ Mel Slurrup
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:33
Wet Wet Wet?!?! If this was recently she’s probably older than me.
Good use of the word snog mind.
Vacuumslayer said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:34
Not doing oppo research for the wolverines, I swear. Just interested in the demograghics.
Dick Balls said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:37
we have achieved the end of funny.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:37
Out of curiosity how many here are in their 30’s ? I just turned 37.
I’ll tell you one thing: I’m not fookin bloody snogging 14, bob’s your uncle!
B/N said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:37
Does this one count?
Atlas Shrugged/Atlas Shrugged
Djur said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:39
Oi, those… blokes, I think… sure do love snogging… birds? Shagging them? Knobbing them? After a footy match? At a carpark? Or a bedsit? On the bonnet of a lorry??
English people really got to get their act together and start talking English.
D. Sidhe said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:39
On a serious note, I think the presence of Ollie North and Internet pundits in the game as major heroes tells either (a) how deep the rage of these people is, or (b) how short the Republican bench is of people who will satisfy that rage.
It’s kind of disturbing that the dude who talks about shooting ATF agents in the head is one of their big heroes.
No, that’s G. Gordon Liddy. Who I’m pretty sure is still hiding in my crawlspace even though I couldn’t find him. I’m starting to get a little worried, though. I mean, he does have a penchant for open flame. Though I suppose at least the rat problem will be taken care of.
gocart mozart said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:40
Since the discussion has gone to booze and I’m about to go to the packie . . .
I give you “The Drunkest guy ever, tries to buy beer!”
http://jonathanturley.org/2009/10/16/question-of-the-day-can-you-serve-this-man-under-dram-shop-laws/
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:41
So do I, except there’s the whole thing about chatting up some girl in pub and taking her out for a snog and finding out she’s 14, and you’re, well, older than your twenties, and neither of you realized it IN the pub because it was so bloody crowded, noisy and dark.
God damn!! You’re Roman Polanski! I fucking knew it!
Anthony said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:41
Travis Bickle/Travis Bickle
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:42
No, that’s G. Gordon Liddy. Who I’m pretty sure is still hiding in my crawlspace even though I couldn’t find him.
Well… you wouldn’t, would you?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:43
Atlas Shagged
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:43
Robert E. Lee/Confederate Yankee
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:44
No, that’s G. Gordon Liddy.
Oh, shit, you’re right. Sorry, I get my Republican criminal masterminds confused from time to time.
PeeJ said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:44
sodding boy band…
Bands of sodding boys? I kan haz subskirption plz?
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:44
Dr. Evil/Mini Me
UKBristolDave said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:45
Djur
Invest some money in the Viz Magna Farta (10,000 rude words and phrases) and it will all become clear. It will also change your life in a good way.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:46
Golden Boys / King Shit
D. Sidhe said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:47
No problem, Truculent. They’re easy to mix up, one jackass’ bray sounds much like another’s.
Gary Ruppert said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:49
The fact is, liberals have no sense of humor. They cant see how the humorus protrayl of biased liberals to show a message of freedom to the real USA is not a bias initself but a freedom.
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:51
David Bowie/Kevin Federline
Lurking Canadian said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:52
This thing is a parody, right? I mean, if yesterday’s “We are all Limbaugh” thing was assumed to be a parody, so must this, right?
The thing that tips me off is that all of these rugged armies of right-thinking patriots are being led by the media personalities. By the (I hesitate to use the word) intellectuals of the movement.
Even if we grant that the wingnuts view this as the Second American Revolution, watering the tree of whatever with the blood of whatever, or whatever, haven’t they heard of George Washington? There’s a reason why it wasn’t Ben Franklin or Tom Paine standing in that boat crossing the Delaware. It’s typically best if your military is led by…you know, military personnel who know what the fuck they’re doing. If it was true in the era of all-around Renaissance men, it’s doubly true today.
It’s especially strange since they’ve assumed mass mutinies (er…patriotic ardour) on the part of the US Armed Forces. Seriously, you’ve got the 101st Airborne on your side and you need to have Michelle Fucking Malkin lead a charge with fixed bayonets? That’s got to be a joke, right?
Alex said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:53
George Foreman/George Jefferson
tigrismus said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:56
Dr. Evil/Mini Me
Also on that note:
Ernst Blofeld / over-earnest blowhards
Newbie McNoob said,
October 16, 2009 at 23:59
Also on that note:
Ernst Blofeld / over-earnest blowhards
SPECTRE./KAOS
another jim said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:05
Homer / Homer Simpson
Anthony said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:06
The hilarious fan-fiction you could write taking place in this universe, if only life weren’t so short.
B/N said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:12
Iago/Aguecheek
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:16
O.K., nobody clicked my link so I’ll try again. What’s the matter, don’t you trust me? Video of the Drunkest guy ever, trying to buy beer!” Trust me, you’ll laugh so hard your latte or wine spritzer or whatever you liberals are drinking, will come out your nose.
http://jonathanturley.org/2009/10/16/question-of-the-day-can-you-serve-this-man-under-dram-shop-laws/
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:18
Fonzie / Henry Winkler
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:25
Jon Voight in Deliverance / Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy
Citizen_X said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:28
I watched it, Gocart. It was, indeed, Teh Funny.
The knowledge that i was Gary Ruppert on a rubbing alcohol bender made it all the funnier.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:29
Ned Beatty in Network(1976)/Ned Beatty in Superman (1978)
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:29
So i guess the sadlyno people all finally died from reading all the horrid shit they gotta go through on a daily basis, like from toxic wingnut syndrome. That’s a shame and gavin being a new father and all.
Alex said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:40
Captain Jack Aubrey/Captain Jack Sparrow
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:40
Never fear, chimpevil. How about the
The mustache of Pammy Landing?
~
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:42
No chimpevil (is that a veiled Bush reference?)
BREAKING NEWS! Right now Gavin and D. Aristophanes have assumed leadership of the remnants of C.O.R.N.Y., and they have captured Pastor Swank. Developing . . .
jakethesnake said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:43
This has got to be a spoof. Has anyone seem Norman Spinrad lately?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Iron_Dream
Doctorb said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:51
Also: when people ask what time it is, give them the wrong time.
Also, too: stop a traffic line.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:53
Hey jakethesnake, I clicked your link. It sounds like an interesting novel. Have you read it and what is your review?
Doctorb said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:55
That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on a law blog (this does not include Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog).
Doctorb said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:57
The Fremen / Thomas Friedman
Doctorb said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:00
Charles Martel / Charles Krauthammer
Teh Great Gazoogle said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:02
This has got to be a spoof. Has anyone seem Norman Spinrad lately?
Results 1 – 10 of 10 from sadlyno.com for “iron dream”
Edward R. Murrow said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:04
Can you imagine if a game like this had come out during the Bush administration?
M. Bouffant said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:04
gocart, it’s pretty good, if memory serves, though it’s been thirty yrs. or so since I read it. Spinrad’s pretty good in general, & neglected these days.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:06
Hey, the UK is all about the pints! Getting pissed and
staggering onto the wrong traintrying to eat a takeaway fishburger in front of more sober witnesses is a rite of passage in this country.Otherwise, I could not possibly comment.
UKBristolDave said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:06
Doctorb said,
October 17, 2009 at 0:51
Every day I give tourists blocking the entrance to the underpass at Monument a very quick and informative lesson in English swearwords. The tourists actually sitting on the fucking steps get a degree quality education in English swearwords compressed into 5 seconds.
Sending them the wrong way may be less evil actually. Hmmm, how can I tell?
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:08
“That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on a law blog ”
I don’t understand why it took them like three minutes to notice him. He must have been .40+ B.A.C. I hope he was driving ’cause he sure couldn’t walk.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:09
Trust me, you’ll laugh so hard your latte or wine spritzer or whatever you liberals are drinking, will come out your nose.
Chianti actually. Fettucine with a vegetable bolognaise. Video was most amusig, but needed Yakety Sax playing in the background.
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:09
No chimpevil (is that a veiled Bush reference?)
gocart yeah absolutely a bush reference, he being an evil simian-looking bitch, and i took on the name commenting on the nets and shit, oh but yr name is from a Springsteen song right? My uncle burned a Cd with his some of his stuff–very cool man.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:10
. . . ’cause he was too drunk to walk. Fucked up my punch line dammit.
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:14
Norman Spinrad, IIRC, write several alternate history novels. Or was that someone else? Anyway, like M.B. I read it several decades ago and have the recollection it was worth reading.
For my money, it takes a P.K.D. to stir up the levels of crazy the whingers are into. See The Man in the High Castle.
Milkman Dan said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:15
I hate you, gocart mozart.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:16
Oh, and way way way too late for this but
I’m guessing this is Parody, as the idea of Fox News anchors doing anything other then cry in their milti-million dollar bunkers
Excepting of course, that green-eyed red-haired poison-tongued siren that has popped a cap in my heart.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:19
“. . . but yr name is from a Springsteen song right?”
Yep.
Heh, at first I thought “My Uncle burned a Cd with some of his stuff” meant he thought “The Boss” was some traitorous/satanic Dixie Chicks/Black Sabbath guy. That’s not what you meant and thanks.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:23
“Video was most amusing, but needed Yakety Sax playing in the background.”
I agree
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:24
OK so if tintin, god rest his soul, can’t put this bitch on the toilet seat, let me throw this-
this
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:27
“Trust me, you’ll laugh so hard your latte or wine spritzer or whatever you liberals are drinking, will come out your nose.”
“Chianti actually. Fettucine with a vegetable bolognaise.”
I know you are lying Dragon-King Wangchuck because every liberal knows that bolognaise is a meat sauce. Its in the manual.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:30
I’m calling fake liberal on DKW. If he went to any orientation, he would know that. I think we have a spy in our midst.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:38
I’m calling fake liberal on DKW
You got me. I’ve really bee Troofus all along. Everytime you were agreeing with me… what did he say again?
Anyways – yeah it was a vegetarian bolognaise – out of a jar. Sure I’ve got more fresh tomatoes than I can shake a stick at, since we had that frost a few days ago – but no time to cook ‘em down. And it was a cheap chianti too.
77south said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:49
ok I’m late to the party.
Veuve Cliquot/Asti Spumante
Coke/New Coke
House Party 2 / House Party 3
Ford Mustang / Ford Pinto
New Glarus Breweries Spotted Cow / Miller Genuine Draft
Guiness/Coors
Volkl/Elan
Umberto Eco’s Focault’s Pendulum/Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:52
Sorry heres the link—
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:53
fhtml– http://www.redstate.com/gamecock/2009/10/14/how-limbaughs-embodiment-of-mlks-dream-changed-my-life/
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:59
“Excepting of course, that green-eyed red-haired poison-tongued siren that has popped a cap in my heart.”
Here DKW, watch this. She has popped a cap in my heart and is smart and not a wingnut. Department of Redundancy Department.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYPuO-E5n-0
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:59
Oh gocart my uncle says Springsteen’s two first albums were here his best. What do you think man?
UKBristolDave said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:59
chimpevil said,
October 17, 2009 at 1:53
I couldn’t read the whole thing, it was so…what’s the word I’m looking for….pathetic. Isn’t the whole article saying ‘I had an early mid life crisis and needed a father figure to tell me what to think’?
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:03
Oh gocart my uncle says Springsteen’s two first albums were here his best. What do you think man?
I agree.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:05
‘I had an early mid life crisis and needed a father figure to tell me what to think’?
And along come Rush Limbaugh AND Glenn Beck.
What more could a simple bigot want?
~
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:06
gm,
I’m over Lara Logan. Sure she’s obscenely hawt, with a sex-ay yet refined accent, and was one of the few to call bullshit on the “where are the good news stories coming outta Iraq”. All great marks in her favour. Also, rumour has it that she’s an easy lay. What’s not to love.
At least that was before I discovered Cheapshot McSkirtlifter.
tensor said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:07
Wm. F. Buckley / Gary Ruppert
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:08
I’m not over lara Logan
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:09
. . . but I wish I was over her, or under her even.
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:13
I like Nebraska the best out of all Springsteen’s albums. That probably says bad things about my psyche.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:15
And what are you doing watching Fox Noise anyways, Dragon-King Wangchuck? My wife won’t let me watch Fox because of the cursing at the T.V. syndrome (This is true) Further evidence of your secret wingnut subversion perhaps?
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:18
And what are you doing watching Fox Noise anyways, Dragon-King Wangchuck?
You should ask his mother.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:19
“I like Nebraska the best out of all Springsteen’s albums. That probably says bad things about my psyche.”
I love that album. Recorded in his hotel room with just a guitar and harmonica. He released the demo tape because he didn’t think he could improve on it.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:20
And what are you doing watching Fox Noise anyways
Hoping for a Megyn Kelly upskirt shot. Honestly? I was watching Attack of the Show. The first clip of Notorious PAB clips was on Around the Net. And mostly, we don’t get Faux Noise in Canuckistan.Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:21
clip these clips you fucking lush. keep drinknig while typoing you alcoholish.
Joel said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:25
Pauly Walnuts / Pauly Shore.
My favorite is definitely John Wayne / John Wayne Gacy, whomever said that. Kudos.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:27
My wife won’t let me watch Fox because of the cursing at the T.V. syndrome . This is true. If I watch Beck or Hannity or O’Rielly, and after a minute or two I start yelling “Bullshit you lyingassmotherfukingcocksuckingasshole@#$%&* and so on. My wife has banned me from watching Fox in her presence.
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:39
Jennifer said,
“I like Nebraska the best out of all Springsteen’s albums. That probably says bad things about my psyche.”
It says good things about your psyche, also.
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:48
I dunno. I think it probably says good things about my taste, but that’s a pretty dark piece of work there. You kind of have to have a masochistic urge for depression to really take to it, don’t you think?
Tommmcatt said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:48
Gary Ruppert/Troofie
UKBristolDave said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:50
gocart mozart said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:27
We get FOX in the UK (Murdoch owns Sky and if you want to watch Football (that’s soccer for you heathens) you need Sky) and me and my housemates at the time had a drinking game for watching FOX. I can’t recall the exact rules but it was based on media bias. Generally after two hours we’d be blind drunk and splitting up with our better halves.
Note to Rupert Murdoch – your TV channel and a litre bottle of vodka caused me to split up with a lovely young lady who LOVED giving blowjobs. That makes you Historys greatest criminal. Bastard
Tommmcatt said,
October 17, 2009 at 2:56
your TV channel and a litre bottle of vodka caused me to split up with a lovely young lady who LOVED giving blowjobs. That makes you Historys greatest criminal
Forgive me, but from what I gather about straight women from my het. male friends, if you broke up with a lovely young lady that LOVED giving blowjobs over a TV network, that makes you history’s greatest fool.
After GWB, perhaps, but still.
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:00
New iphone ad: We’ve got a Rep for that.
NobodySpecial said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:01
I dunno. I think it probably says good things about my taste, but that’s a pretty dark piece of work there. You kind of have to have a masochistic urge for depression to really take to it, don’t you think?
Hardly. Born In The USA would have fit right on that album, the only difference is the instrumentation. What makes Nebraska so great is that it’s stripped of it’s artifice, like so much of the best music.
pöplikid said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:02
We also get FOX in Australia (Murdoch owns FOXTEL and if you want to watch anything at all you need FOXTEL) because Rupert is from here.
People here always ask me if Americans really are as crazy as they seem on FOX Noise.
As the evidence presented here suggests, I’m forced to say:
Yes. Yes they are.
pöplikid said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:04
Springsteen sucks.
Also.
a concerned citizen said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:16
Crime and Punishment / Atlas Shrugged
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:19
Soooo, Friday night, is it?
Chicken breast, cut into 1 inch (approx) cubes. Toss with Wondra flour, salt and pepper. Sautee briskly for three-four minutes in good olive oil – make sure you get the oil hot hot hot before adding chix. Turn occasionally to develop a delicate all-over golden crust. Chop
a big fucking handful ofsome garlic fairly fine and combine with a a couple Tbsp. chopped parsley. Add the garlic/parsley and a big dollop unsalted butter to the pan when the chix is _almost_ cooked. Toss to coat the chix. Squeeze on some lemon drops just before serving.For two, adapted from a recipe by the late but none the less fabulous Jennifer Paterson. Melt a shitload (ehhh, say 3-4 Tbls.) of butter in a saucepan. Add fresh shelled peas, butter lettuce hearts, several pinches of salt, a heaping teaspoon of sugar, 2-3 Tbs. water, some chopped scallions, and if you’re feeling up to it, a bouquet garni. Simmer, covered, for 30 minutes. Retrieve lettuces, drain pea, reserving liquid. Reduce liquid to about 1 Tbsp. Whisk in 1/3 cup of heavy cream and pour over the peas. Quarter the lettuce hearts and place on top.
I have a few homemade cheese raviolis from the last batch I made, in the freezer; not enough for a meal but spraying them with olive oil and baking on parchment in a hot oven until crispy will be a good way to use them.
The “wine cellar” is all but empty – I believe we’ll have Mirrror Pond with dinner tonight.
Paul Mantarakis said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:24
The truth be told, Obama’s socialist policies are gonna turn around and bite him in the ass when all is said and done. Face it loony libs, nationalized health care is deeply unpopular with the majority of Americans. Do you honestly think the American people are going to allow their nation’s hospitals to turn into the rat infested tenements the hospitals are in Cuba, or wait six months to have an infected tooth pulled like one gentleman did in England?
If Obama care becomes law you will see the same kind of incompetent bureaucrats that run your local DMV running our nation’s hospitals. Is that the kind of future you want to leave to your children and grandchildren?
Your time in power is running out loony libs, prepare to see a Conservative Republican landslide retake control of Congress during the mid-term elections. This time the Republican base will hold our politicians accountable and let them know that they work for us not the other way around. We are already seeing that in Pennsylvania where Pat Toomey will take Quisling Arlen Specter the Defectors Senate seat, and in Arizona where Conservative stalwart JD Hayworth will defeat McLame in the Republican primary and win the general election easily in that solid Republican State. The same fate will come to Lindsey Grahamnesty and the two ladies from Maine as well.
The Republican base has retaken control of the Party. Time to pull out the dead weeds and take our country back!
g said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:39
Your time in power is running out loony libs, prepare to see a Conservative Republican landslide retake control of Congress during the mid-term elections.
Yawn. Let me bookmark that.
Anthony said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:40
This has to be a Republican thing right? Does anyone here go to the comment sections of conservative blogs and write 500 word screeds about how conservatism failed and we’re gonna win and America hates you?
J Neo Marvin said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:41
take our country back!
Stealing Howard Dean’s line AGAIN. Can’t the all-powerful Republican base come up with some original material?
NobodySpecial said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:41
Anthony:
Nope, I go and make fun of them instead.
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:43
Ahem.
New GOP iphone ad: we’ve got a Rep for that.
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:45
Time to pull out the dead weeds and take our country back!
So sorry. It’s ours and we aint letting you have it ever again. EVERY time you
stealhave it you run it into the fucking ground and we have to spend years repairing it. No more, child. No more.M. Bouffant said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:46
Breakfast a la Bouffant (consumed about 1800):
Signature CAFE® Beef Shepherd’s Pie “Minced beef in a rich gravy, w/ generous portions of carrots, onions, green beans topped w/a golden potato & cheese crust;” KRAFT PHILADELPHIA Ready-To-Eat Cheesecake Filling; Newman’s Own All Natural Old Fashioned Roadside Virgin Lemonade.
Preceded by a couple cups of Ralphs Instant Crystals Coffee, w/ 2% milk & sugar, & some Lipton® Cold Brew iced tea, between 1200 & 1600ish.
Top that, Janus Node robot!!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:46
And I presume the Democratic Commie Bastards are led by our own B^4.
If you think that any fighting force can stand up to my army of Scarlett Johanssen clones, you had better think again.
WOLVERINES!!!FOXES!!!PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:47
The Republican base has retaken control of the Party. Time to pull out
the dead weedsour dicks and wave them around until we take our country back!Fuxxed.
kg said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:49
PEEJ
The first part sounds like a scampi to me, but you really had me. The rest has me intrigued.Can I come over for dinner?
kg said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:50
Sorry so garbled. Lets leave it at : U cook real good.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:50
Does anyone here go to the comment sections of conservative blogs and write 500 word screeds about how conservatism failed and we’re gonna win and America hates you?
I suspect that Authenticity-Troll spends half his time doing precisely that, when he isn’t over here rarking up the usual suspects.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:51
Soooo, Friday night, is it?
Oh yes. For me, it was time to try making Aloo Gobi a la Manjula’s Kitchen. Turned out pretty tasty and I hardly know which cooking utensil does what.
handy said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:51
Roadside Virgin
Which reminds me, people will believe anything others tell them. Like, “Hey look my kid just climbed up into that balloon and there it goes!”
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:51
I made a lovely mushroom risotto yesterday. But PeeJ’s way outta my league.
M. Bouffant said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:52
Breakfast cooking instructions: “Lift corner of film to vent tray. Microwave on HIGH for 2-2½ minutes or until hot. Remove from microwave and let stand for 1 minute before serving.”
Exhausting, but worth it.
kg said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:54
Just got done watching Rick Bayless make Chiles Rellenos. Jesus do I love that man.
M. Bouffant said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:54
I guess roadside virgin is better than truck-stop virgin.
kg said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:58
I dunno, Darkness on the Edge of Town is pretty great. Bruce fucking rocks, period. ’nuff said.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 3:58
If you’re going to talk about food — one of the Radio New Zealand interviewers has just been talking to someone about cooking with nettles. He’s been running a weekly spot on urban food foraging.
See links to recipes at the bottom of the linked page.
Whoops, that reads like something Mark Foley might have written.
tigrismus said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:01
Today was gray and uninspiring. Lunch was popcorn popped with a little sugar. Dinner was quickie vegan corn chowder because even though I was still not inspired I felt like I probably shouldn’t have only popcorn again, and my husband would have mocked me viciously if I had.
Also, my local DMV has wait times for various services at various locations on their website. They have always been quick, efficient, as nice as all get out. I haven’t had the same experience with most of my health care service providers.
kg said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:03
POOPLICKED,
I know Springsteen’s no Crowded House but, hey, you take what you can get.
Lesley said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:07
Wingnuts may be miserly when it comes to health care and sharing the wealth, but notice how they never fail to apply a philosophy of abundance to paranoia, delusions, and fear.
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:08
Also. Rachel Maddow administers a righteous bitchslapping to an evil tool from Americans for
SerfdomProsperity. Also.kg said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:10
Stewie Griffin / Linus
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:10
Shekel Man: I love love love Aloo Gobi. My Indian chops are seriously deficient but that’s one of the first subcontinental dishes I mastered. The peas, btw, are not optional. I need to acquire some Madhur Jaffrey books and work through them.
kg, The chix prep is something like a scampi; it’s pretty much the traditional Froggy frog leg dish but with chicken breast.
SC, Wuznt us going on about nettles just t’udder day?
MB, it’s the (consumed about 1800) part that bothers me. I’m pretty sure they didn’t have that stuff back then. You engaging in culinohistorical revisionism?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:13
I suspect that Authenticity-Troll spends half his time doing precisely that, when he isn’t over here rarking up the usual suspects.
I always wonder how you Antipodeans use words like rarking, and yet still do not fall off the earth.
~
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:14
Nah, if MLF54 had written it, it would have been more like:
USW.
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:16
I always wonder how you Antipodeans use words like rarking, and yet still do not fall off the earth.
The antipodes have not, in fact, fallen off the earth?
Bitter Scribe said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:16
Just got back in town. Seriously, what is that thing supposed to be? A shrill revenge fantasy? A video game? A Ponzi scheme? What?
This was my favorite part:
Contests…have a $3 entrance fee ($1.50 for ‘made’ members) and pay out a 50 credit prize (1 credit = 1 US dollar) paid within 48 hours.
If I spent my entire life searching, do you think I could find one person who ever got a dollar for one of those “credits”?
Lesley said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:20
Jennifer, thanks for the link. I’ve been wanting to see Rachel Maddow bitchslap that “Christian”
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:20
Bitter Scribe, I couldn’t make myself go look at it. But that’s awesome; I can see at least a few dozen wingers counting on it as a retirement plan.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:21
The antipodes have not, in fact, fallen off the earth?
Perhaps the good Doktor has some fancy alien transtwitterin’ device that works while he’s falling through space.
~
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:23
For me, it was time to try making Aloo Gobi a la Manjula’s Kitchen.
There’s a cabbage poriyal in my future, as soon as my cushy-except-when-it’s-not job stops being so friggin’ crazy. I am now 20 hours into a 16 hour day (split shift, argh!), and won’t be able to sleep more than six hours when I get home. I actually have the black mustard seeds, but forgot to buy some damn curry leaves.
ne of the Radio New Zealand interviewers has just been talking to someone about cooking with nettles. He’s been running a weekly spot on urban food foraging
NZ killer nettles, or invasive northron nettles? I cooked up a bunch of nettles last week, mixed them with spinach and feta cheese to make a fritatta. I have included one foraged ingredient per week in my personal menu for the past two months. Winter will put an end to this experiment.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:24
The peas, btw, are not optional.
Agreed – I put some in tonight’s batch and they went very well. I am still a n00b, though. I expect to spend several happy years learning to cook Indian food and cheerfully eating my mistakes.
Lesley said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:30
“The proof’s in the pudding.” Tim Phillips repeats.
A pudding made of runny shit, chunky vomit and black tar.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:30
I am now 20 hours into a 16 hour day (split shift, argh!)
Yeesh – I’ve had jobs like that. My condolences.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:32
Lunch was popcorn popped with a little sugar.
tig, next time you make a meal out of popcorn, try tossing in in some pesto.
Il sapore di la ricchezza!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:36
Yeesh – I’ve had jobs like that. My condolences.
Like I said, the job is really cushy, except when it’s not- it’s just that this is crunch time, and the entire staff is overextended. In a couple of weeks, things get calm again. At least the money is better than the trickle I receive from my revenge fantasy/Ponzi scheme internet… uh, shouldna oughta said that.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:37
NZ killer nettles, or invasive northron nettles?
The latter. The expert reckoned that Spring is the best time to be eating them — tenderer and more nutritious — so HA HA HA.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:41
Like I said, the job is really cushy, except when it’s not- it’s just that this is crunch time
That’s what my job was like. The money for it was terrific, but the stress finally got to me after about eight years. I packed it in and changed careers, and my earnings have only built back to about 60% of what I was making, but at least I’m not having to pop mother’s little helpers all the time to keep from going postal. But there were times when that job was not only low-key but a ton of fun.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:41
The antipodes have not, in fact, fallen off the earth?
Things on our fragment of rock are fine as long as we keep Another Kiwi in a good mood and he does not wish anyone into the cornfield.
Jennifer said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:49
…he does not wish anyone into the cornfield.
Presumably, to commune with He Who Walks Behind the Rose.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 4:54
The latter. The expert reckoned that Spring is the best time to be eating them — tenderer and more nutritious — so HA HA HA.
The key is to get them young, regardless of season. The older ones tend to produce phytoliths, which aren’t very conducive to gustatory delight.
But there were times when that job was not only low-key but a ton of fun.
I hear ya! In this job, it’s not the stress, so much as the sometimes spotty management/scheduling/communications problems (half of my department was allowed to go on vacation in late August, and those of us who remained were entreated to avoid overtime situations, so the schedule juggling was outrageous), and the hours during the busy season.
Bitter Scribe said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:10
This is the best. Really. I thought that thing on RedState, full of whereases and furtherfores and constitutionallys, commanding Obama to turn the country over to Hillary Clinton, couldn’t be topped. I was wrong.
g said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:25
Leftover stew tonight. But stew’s always better the second night.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:27
He Who Walks Behind the Roes?
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:29
Yeah, I guess if he’d taken that job as White House chef he would have had to stop doing his show, so I was glad he didn’t, but still—how cool would that have been?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:45
He Who Walks Behind the Roes?
Man, I could really go for some taramosalata.
The good news is, there are three 24-hour Greek diners (redundant in these parts) within five minutes drive of the workplace, and two within five minutes drive of home.
The bad news is, I really, really, really need to get my ass home and sleep stat!, because I’m working again in the morning.
I won’t even have time to play some United States of Earth before turning in.
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:45
The key is to get them young, regardless of season.
Now that could have been written by Mark Foley.
PeeJ said,
October 17, 2009 at 5:46
Or any Jesuit, for that matter.
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:04
Personally, I would love a North American Union. Then I could marry my Canadian fiance without having to make a jillion dollars a year to prove to the US Government that I could sponsor and support an immigrant, and I could go up to see him without getting shit at the Canadian border every time for a 15 year old DUI and no offenses since.
(I took the trouble to go through the deal of getting a pardon for that from the Canadian govt. Full FBI investigation, fingerprints, police records tracked down from 15 years ago, full disclosure of everyplace I’ve lived and worked since 1990, etc. A big hassle that took me almost a year.)
And they STILL give me shit at the border every time. I’ve seen them trun people back at the border for forgetting to get their car insurance renewed in the 80s. And drop them off in the middle of the night, in a raging blizzard in the middle of nowhere, at a frickin gas station.
Give me that NAU. I’m all for it. What the hell, pretty soon all American workers will be at Mexican levels of pay ANYWAY, and then maybe Mexicans will decide to stay home and Lou Racist Dobbs can STFU.
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:05
*ahem* “turn” people back at the border. I hate to do typos. Carry on.
Jr. said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:07
You guys laugh, but there’s a Federal Census worker DEAD in Kentucky!
Do we wait until one of these losers takes a shot at someone, maybe even their primary target, the President? Or should the Secret Service be tracking these numbskulls down and putting them under a supermax somewhere far to the south!
I think it’s time to take these guys seriously, take them at their word, and charge them with making terrorist threats and threatening the security of the country. They’re lying about who won the election, they’re claiming President Obama isn’t a legitimate president for crying out loud. It’s nearly treason if not all the way over the line!
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:10
Jr, from your mouth to God’s ears. They are treasonous. It’s a damn shame.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:14
I think it’s time to take these guys seriously, take them at their word, and charge them with making terrorist threats and threatening the security of the country.
This the place for coping-snark. One of the aphorisms I live by is, “It’s better to laugh your ass off than to cry your eyes out.” Be aware, but don’t despair. There are plenty of sites on which to post earnest comments.
This is not one of them.
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:15
BBBB, I love this place. I lurk here all the time. Couldn’t get through the day without my daily load of snark.
What you said.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:17
I lurk here all the time.
Quit the lurking, and join the smirking!
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:18
It’s just here I can come and rant and CUSS a little more than on Great Orange Satan. So sorry if my post was too serious.
I keep trying to be funny about that and failing.
(Did these guys channel Red Dawn when they made that game? What a crock :):):)
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:20
I will attempt to join the smirking :):):)
Would love to.
I don’t have you guys comedy talent tho. But I’m WILLING to LEARN.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:23
So sorry if my post was too serious.
My comment was addressed to Jr., in response to the scolding.
I keep trying to be funny about that and failing.
Just keep making with the posts, the commentariat is from all over the globe, so somebody is bound to greet a comment with a “yeah, I dig”.
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:25
Yeah I know it was addressed to Jr. Altho I thought his (or her, what the hell) comment was good.
I just know my comment was a little too, um “srs” also, so decided to reply.
TGIF. Thx for talkin to me.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:26
Notice the asymmetry between us and the Party of Confederate Treason. They say Obama winning the election by 10,000,000 votes is a treasonous usurpation. Not only didn’t we “Hang Jeff Davis to a sour apple tree” like we promised, we let his treasonous ass out of jail to become a best-selling author and indoctrinate the next generation of bittereinders. Sometimes I think we’re too nice for our own good.
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:31
ok now you got me going to look that up. Really?
We didn’t hang his treasonous ass?
All my relatives are Scandinavian – I am Minnesotan, some days I think I channel Rose Nylund from the Golden Girls. None of them were fighting in the Civil War. Too bad. I think some of them might have kicked ass.
But they all got here too late.
Jay Arr Eff (Formerly Just Joe) said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:34
“Time to pull out the dead weeds and take our country back!”
I see. Conservatism can never fail, only BE failed. Most convenient.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:42
No, every respectable southern family had to have a copy of The History of the Confederate Government on their coffee table at least into the 1920s. Just like Mein Kampf a little later in Germany.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:45
Sorry: Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government Here it is from Project Gutenberg, if anyone’s interested.
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:47
wow, I see you’re right Rev, – I went out and wikied that.
I went down to SC a few years ago to visit an old military buddy of mine. I thought I was back in the Old Confederacy. It was spooky.
And in the Old Slave Mart down in Charleston there were Black Women with booths selling homemade jewelry. It was weird.
I wish I had more funny. Maybe I’ll get better over time. :):):)
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:48
FYWP!
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/19831
If I put in the closing quote it puts it in the address so it doesn’t work, and if I leave it out, it doesn’t form a link.
FYWP!
Rosebuddear said,
October 17, 2009 at 6:50
I saw it. Just evil the guy lived to be 81.
M. Bouffant said,
October 17, 2009 at 7:34
Funny you should mention it, from The AP’s Today in History for 17 October:
In 1978, President Jimmy Carter signed a bill restoring U.S. citizenship to Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
Whaddaya know, Carter really was the worst president ever.
Smut Clyde said,
October 17, 2009 at 7:48
the next generation of bittereinders.
Could be wrong, but I think that last word is the German for “I would like a reindeer, plz”.
Wonderfully concise language, German.
I lurk here all the time. Couldn’t get through the day without my daily load of snark.
Apparently there are sometimes in-jokes here. No-one ever warned me.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
October 17, 2009 at 8:10
I remember when Carter got elected—the prevailing meme was: “The Civil War is finally over”. They really did have an opportunity to be welcomed back into civilized society and they rejected it with extreme prejudice. Fuck them.
Interrobang said,
October 17, 2009 at 8:28
I own a copy of The Iron Dream and it fucking kicks ass. I read it about a year and a half after reading Mein Kampf, and Spinrad nails it. The NOT SO VEILED PENIS REFERENCES and excessive use of the word “flinders” will have you howling, if you know your Hitler. Spinrad had to have dented, scratched, folded, spindled, and mutilated his brain to write the thing, but it rocks out with its NOT SO VEILED PENIS REFERENCE out. (His other metric-fuckloads-of-ass-kicking novel is The Mind Game, which is a Chuck Norris-sized spit in the eye of Scientology. Scientology is the only entity in this or any other universe crazy enough to spit back in Chuck Norris’ eye.)
I’m also not just saying that because the crazy mofo praised something I wrote, either.
justme said,
October 17, 2009 at 8:57
OT, but c’mon, we have topics here?
It’s not our freedoms they hate us for, it’s our hideous taste.
The TV commercial I just saw for that nearly lost me my dinner.
Lesley said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:05
It’s not our freedoms they hate us for, it’s our hideous taste.
The TV commercial I just saw for that nearly lost me my dinner.
It looks exactly like a sketch Bill Maher would do at the start of his show.
justme said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:15
Thinking about it, I have a vague memory of a chia Clinton, too.
Regardless, the commercial is so incredibly ham-fisted, it makes me cynical about cynicism.
Bleah.
Stag Held’s Truncheon said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:43
it rocks out with its NOT SO VEILED PENIS REFERENCE out.
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 17, 2009 at 9:45
Was there ever a chia Bush? And did I just set up a not-so-veiled vagina reference?
Realist said,
October 17, 2009 at 14:30
the refusal of most United States military branches to obey orders to fire upon American citizens
Like they did at Kent State and Waco?
For some reason, this game reminds me of McDoe.
Realist said,
October 17, 2009 at 14:40
Also, shitty programming:
Warning: mySQL database connection is not active in /home/usofeart/public_html/libs/db.php on line 125
Warning: Error establishing mySQL database connection. Correct user/password? Correct hostname? Database server running? in /home/usofeart/public_html/libs/db.php on line 87
actor212 said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:00
Do we wait until one of these losers takes a shot at someone, maybe even their primary target, the President? Or should the Secret Service be tracking these numbskulls down and putting them under a supermax somewhere far to the south!
Sadly, for the good of the country, I’d rather the former than the latter.
Because one day, another conservative will run the country, and I don’t like picking up soap in the prison shower.
Careful what you wish for.
g said,
October 17, 2009 at 16:43
And in the Old Slave Mart down in Charleston there were Black Women with booths selling homemade jewelry
I love Charleston, despite it’s slave-market heritage. But the fact is, that building that most people think is the Old Slave Market isn’t the old slave market. It’s just a market building. TThe slave market was elsewhere, and isn’t on the main tourist drag.
I bought handmade sweetgrass baskets from a black woman there, and quite a wonderful piece of art and handicraft it was.
John D. said,
October 17, 2009 at 17:34
Can anyone imagine the never-ending howls of outrage from the right had some entrpreneurial liberal created a different version of this “game”? In which, say, Rush Limabugh sends out his legion of brainwashed, dittohead zombie slaves in a post-apocalyptic world, and the remaining ‘normals’ have to hack and slash their way through the right wing zombie cannon fodder in order to ‘win’? I envision the Final Boss Battle on each level of the game would feature some grotesquerie based on all the usual subjects: Michelle Malkkkin, say, would be the final enemy required to be defeated (i.e. violently annihilated) on Level 1, Bobo Brooks on Level 2, and so on. The Final Level could be FAUX “News” Headquarters, with Rupert Murdoch himself as the Ultimate Boss Villain to be crushed.
And it’s all very graphicly and bloodily ultra-violent.
Can anyone imagine how our friends on the right would have responded to that?
jim said,
October 17, 2009 at 18:30
Commenting in Majestic Shoggoth-Devourer Motherfuckin’ Thread!
Damn my fairness for pwning me yet again – I wanted to make some sort of jocose additional comment about this, but I prefer to try to get my head informed before I blither about something … which led me to commit a DNFCI* violation.
Okay, so in other words I actually sacrificed some precious interwebs-porno-time up & watched a bunch of the YouTubery of this bitch … & blazing bollocks, does it gargle chancrenous hyena-dicks shockingly hard or what? This poor ziggurat of floaters is such weak piss from the ground up that (no term or simile is adequate to complete this sentence that can accurately convey its weakpissedness).
I think I’d've even found this pretty suck-o-delic back in the days of Joust & Rampage – I’m chagrined to note that that’s 30-plus years ago now. Looks almost like teh warez were done up on an old Geo from back then to boot. The hyperventilating man-bitch that’s narrating it is a real fine piece of work too. Gack & blecch!
Yeah, they can now join the ranks of The Draining-All-The-”Action”-Out-Of-Action-Games Brotherhood with pride.
————–
*Do NOT Fucking Click It
jim said,
October 17, 2009 at 18:57
them thar neocon right-to-lifers sure do seem to keep going in for instituting mandatory abortions & involuntary sterilization & such like hijinx when it helps them to milk the proverbial cash-cow, huh
LOL DROPPING PARADOX
Pope Disturban the Vth said,
October 19, 2009 at 0:49
On the off-chance there’s any “Sane Conservatives” reading all this and shaking their heads in disgust, just remember:
This piece of revenge-porn is what you ALL look like to the rest of the world. Not a pleasant thought, I know.
Squirrelgripper said,
October 19, 2009 at 4:49
So now we know what Fox News Fan-Fic looks like. Is there a compund word that simultaneously covers “awesome” and “disturbing”?
Doctorb said,
October 19, 2009 at 10:31
“Awful”?
beardog66 said,
October 20, 2009 at 19:27
And now we know what wingnuts like to read while they masturbate.
deering said,
October 25, 2009 at 15:13
Hmm…
Watchmen/Mighty Heroes.