Dirtbucket
Posted on October 11th, 2009 by Tintin
(This illustration is dedicated, with heartfelt love and affection,
to Doug Watts)*
Shorter Robert “Bill Bob” Stacy McCain, The Racist McCain
First of all, Patrick Lanzo isn’t originally from Paulding County, Ga., and . . .
- Putting up a sign in front of your business calling Obama a nigger isn’t nearly as offensive as CBS News filing its news story on the sign from a different county in Georgia than the one where the sign was. Besides that guy wouldn’t have put the n-word on the sign if liberals didn’t assume that most people Georgia were racist. People are going to call me racist for writing this post, but the fact is that people who call other people racist are the real racists. Also Charles Johnson can suck my dick. Also.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Cf.
[Thx, Dylan!]
It’s always in the kerning.
W.
T.
F.
?
While the shorter has never failed me in the past, I’m going soley by the shorter this time around. Ain’t no way I’m clicking that link.
I’m sure I was gone a lot sooner,… but Damn!
Hey, the guy with the sign said he’s not a racist, it’s just the way people talk down there. Part of the culture, as it were. What more do you crazy lefties want!?!
Next week’s sign: “Back in the kitchen, bitch!”
That is some of the most fucked up rationalizing I have ever read. Southerners aren’t all racists, why? I mean, even with total whackaloons – the type surrounded by padded bars – one can understand their pronouncements. RaciSt McCain? I have no fucking idea what he is even trying to say.
Jesus, so she called in the story from Temple. Who fucking cares? She didn’t say the sign was in Temple.
“That One!”
RSM sucks at life.
Alternate shorter: Even though we’ve insisted that only extreme forms of racism – such as the use of the n-word – are the only real forms of racism,* the fact that this guy used the n-word doesn’t count because those darky-loving liberals started it!
*Except maybe not really because some black people use it too, which shows how unjustly the white man is treated.
And one of his commenters nails him, finding with the Gazoogle the following about the bar owner who had the sign in question:
“ ATTN: ALL KLANSMEN – NO MATTER WHICH GROUP YOU BELONG TO.
——————————————————————
On the 4th of July weekend in Paulding County, Ga. We are planning on having the “Georgia White Pride Picnic/ Rally”. It will be held on the property of the Georgia Peach Oyster Bar and Museum (Pat Lanzo’s restaraunt).
Pat has allowed people to have rallies and what not at his plave for the past 21 years. JB Stoner and Mr Spivey used to have them there.
All Klansmen are invited. Other White Nationalists are too, but we need a Klan group who would be willing to do a cross-lighting for us.”
——————————————————————-
FAIL.
MY EYES!!!!
George W. Bush proved “signing statements” don’t matter.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE POINTY HOOD!
Either that or he’s establishing his credentials as the sole arbiter of what is and isn’t racist.
Really, what time is it? I may go to Mass so I can beseech the Baby Jesus to put the Other McCain on the televisions. This shit needs wide distribution.
That’s.No.Photoshop!
Alternate alternate shorter: Hey, he hates negroes, but at least he has the balls to admit it. Also, the AP doesn’t know anything about Jawja. Such as.
RSM isn’t racist. Just don’t ask him what to call a black man who won a Nobel Peace prize.
“Pat has allowed people to have rallies and what not at his plave for the past 21 years.”
What’s a plave?
Ouch. My eyes!
~
McCain’s not racist, because when he begs his readers for money to buy ink, half of it is black ink.
More of a seque than an OT:
Orly Taitz: Nobel Peace Prize Needs To Be Withdrawn Until Obama Is Proved To Be Legitimate President:
http://belowthebeltway.com/2009/10/09/orly-taitz-nobel-peace-prize-needs-to-be-withdrawn-until-obama-is-proved-to-be-legitimate-president/
At this point, it’s more sad than funny with regards to Orly Taitz herself. That said, her enablers deserve to be mocked at every given opportunity.
Newbie McNoob said,
October 11, 2009 at 19:39
Or it could be a segue.
I has spelling fail.
What has happened to Charles Johnson? I clicked over to LGF for the first time in about a year or so, and it seems like he’s been possessed by the spirit of a blue dog democrat. I feel confused and disoriented. He now seems to be strongly anti-racism, and is speaking out against those who would conflate the Taliban with your garden variety Muslim.
Super weird.
What has happened to Charles Johnson?
Its been going on for a while now; seems like he’s in the middle stages of a Cole-Brock Transformation.
Jeebus. Who was the brain trust that thought Orly Taitz should be consulted about the NPP?
So what’s going on with Orly? Did that federal judge fine her or throw her butt in jail yet?
What’s a plave?
It’s what the Dread Pirate Roberts lives for, I think.
What has happened to Charles Johnson? I clicked over to LGF for the first time in about a year or so, and it seems like he’s been possessed by the spirit of a blue dog democrat
So his head doesn’t spin around and he doesn’t projectile vomit green goo anymore? That’s nice.
So his head doesn’t spin around and he doesn’t projectile vomit green goo anymore? That’s nice.
It’s a mixed blessing. He had to buy a lawn sprinkler.
LIE-bruls iz tramplin’ all over hiz free speechifyin’ rights to use the n-word in public whenever he wants to. That proves that they are the real racists!
Riffing off a comment over there…. You might be a racist if: You’re a member of the KKK and let the Klan hold its barbeques on your lawn.
Tintin, I salute the return to potty-themed photoshops (if that IS a photoshop) from the eighteenth century gentlemen theme. Sometimes it’s too tough to keep up the pretense to gentility.
See Stacy McCain’s thoughts on the subject at the link.
But I hope nobody ever calls me a murderer, because I don’t really want to have to kill somebody.
If it were not for blogs such as this, the existence of Robert Stacy McCain would never have come to my attention. Nor would I be aware of the research and forensic skills that led him to blame the lynching of Emmett Till primarily on Till himself, or his attempts to apply these same skills to the recent murder of a census worker.
Ha. Progress.
You see, Rush proved that black people are the (only) real racists by saying it a bunch of times, over and over. This guy isn’t black, therefore the guy can’t be a racist.
Actually, it’s nice in a sense that these sorts of things come up from time to time. Somehow, some wonderful group got everyone to agree that being racist is bad. The racist right went with a “I know you are, but what am I” defense. And it’s been a shitstorm ever since. Moments like this draw back the curtain to show who’s really back there.
If it were not for blogs such as this, the existence of Robert Stacy McCain would never have come to my attention.
A central element of the Sadly, Naught mission is rescuing monumentally mediocre and incompetent wingnuts from their hard earned and richly deserved obscurity. A celebration of mediocracy, you might say.
Anybody get any ideas about who is a racist, if not the guy with the sign? Aside from the people who point out the racism in being a racist?
Really, I’m sure someone down there would say “Shee, You think I’m a racist? Y’all should talk to Ricky Dale down over yonder. That old boy can’t say three words without ngger bein one of ’em. Not that really he’s a racist. He just talks like one. And not that there’s anything wrong with that, you whiny-ass ngger.”
cowalker said,
Seems like the gentry-themed p’shops are most appropriate for the high-class nuts. RSM doesn’t get in that group. Although I do enjoy the suggestion that the wingnut on the crapper is preparing his next column.
RSM doesn’t get in that group.
Well, he does seem to spend most of his time in the toilet. It is certainly where he gets his best ideas.
OTOH, through the magic of the Interduct I have learnt from DKW many things about my mother of which I was not previously aware.
I have learnt from DKW many things about my mother of which I was not previously aware
We were trying to keep them from you until you were older and better equipt to deal with them, but he insisted on jumping the gun.
I see a lot of mileage for this line of argument that anyone who’s overtly racist was driven into racism as a reaction to the incessant claims that racism is a factor in US politics.
Similarly, anyone people calling for a military coup in the US and the installation of a corporate / theocratic regime were only driven into fascism by the incessant claims from the Left that a number of right-wing ideologues display an incipient fascist streak.
Anyone suggesting that the Nobel Peace Prize should have been awarded to the US military was only driven into “Freedom = Slavery; Ignorance = Strength” Doublethink after being told repeatedly that ‘1984’ was not actually written as a “How To” guide.
Want Peace? Give A Nuke The Nobel
Shorter David Von Drehle:
.
he insisted on jumping the gun
Veiled PENIS-limbo reference.
Shorter Shorter David Von Drehle:
“I huff Drano.”
N_B –
You have a veiled penis???? Sounds suspiciously Muslimical to me.
I switched from boxers to veils solely for the comfort.
Okay, let me try to follow RSM’s logic:
“Sometimes a person gets called a racist so often, he decides to act like a racist, which simply proves that he is not racist.”
::head explodes::
mmy –
Attempting to follow winger logic is like free diving into a black hole.
DrDick:
Oh, Noez! I’ve fallen into the Wingularity! And I can’t get out!
.
McCain thinks it’s important that people…
Yea-boy. As Hermann Goering used to say “Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my Klan robes.”
You know, after the Republican Culture War Against Irony in the 90’s and early 21st century, it’s pretty funny to see RSM arguing that liberals don’t get Lanzo’s use of the n-word because liberals don’t get irony.
One might even call it … well, you know.
.
The swastika and the copy of Mein Kampf are merely symbols of a proud Aryan culture, and not antisemitic at all:
One might even call it … well, you know.
Goldy? Bronzy? Maybe something less shiny and less valuable?
liberals don’t get irony.
Nor do we get leathery. Because we put the lotion onto our skin.
Because we put the lotion onto our skin
Or else we get the hose again?
Another veiled penis reference.
The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. did not know how to spell certain words, thus rendering the push for civil rights a mockery.
Stuffed Black Sea Bass with Fresh Red Leicester
I didn’t have a name for this conglomeration so my boyfriend’s friend named it the Mother of All Emetics. It is. Make sure to get a big glass of milk.
Ingredients:
1 black sea bass, crucified
1 Red Leicester, curvedly crushed
7 teaspoons Commodore Pastor Maira’s Mexican Jack, berserkly sugared
4 cans Chinese mitten crab stomach
4 cans sugar
1 pinch cocoa
Pick over the ingredients and discard excess gold leaf. Separate black sea bass heart from thorax. Mock thorax. Mix the Red Leicester with the Mexican jack over high heat in a pot. Stuff the resulting potion into the black sea bass. Find some amber ale and drink it. Scramble the Chinese mitten crab stomach, sugar, and the cocoa. Mush everything together dismally. Stuff as if your attitude depends on it. Serves 3 cybernetic friends with yummy stomachs.
Substance McGravitas:
It’s wrong to mock the thorax when it’s all dead an’ defenseless an’ shit.
One should only mock the thorax when the bass can bite back. Or at least flip you the tail.
.
Offensive, yes.
But itwon’t stop Howie Kurtz from quoting the Crazy(ier) McCain in tomorrow’s column about the criticisms of the proposed healthcare reform?
Yes, the idea of giving the Nobel Peace Prize, a prize which was created because Alfred Nobel created dynamite, took a step back and went, “holy fuck, what did I unleash”, to a nuclear bomb which likewise had people take a step back and go “holy fuck, what did I unleash”…
It’s something that’s just special in all manner of ways.
Orly Taitz: Nobel Peace Prize Needs To Be Withdrawn Until Obama Is Proved To Be Legitimate President:
I wasn’t aware that was a prerequisite for the Peace prize?
Remember headlines like these?
Here, my handy-dandy fReichtard translator will help:
“If those uppity Negroes would just SHUT UP, these things wouldn’t happen.”
See?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
“October 11, 2009 at 20:02
What’s a plave?
It’s what the Dread Pirate Roberts lives for, I think.”
true plave!
David Von Drehle
Especially when the street sweepers went on strike. The stench from the horse drawn carriages was… well, horrible beyond description.
Gosh, it’s pretty anti-blue-collar-Southerner to just assume that a man is racist just because he’s from Georgia. And he puts up a sign that says “nigger” in front of his bar that has a cartoon of a klansman pissing on a caricature of a black guy who is holding fried chicken and watermelon. And hosts neonazi music festivals (“with special guest Skrewdriver/Monkees tribute band Torkwrench!”). And is a racist. Why don’t you see that? Where’s the love for the racist dickwads?
“What’s a plave?”
What the rain in Spain falls mainly upon.
Has someone already mentioned that among his many and slightly more serious sins, Mr. McCain does not understand the concept of datelines?
Don’t you mean “the raive in Spaive”?
Anyone suggesting that the Nobel Peace Prize should have been awarded to the US military was only driven into “Freedom = Slavery; Ignorance = Strength” Doublethink after being told repeatedly that ‘1984? was not actually written as a “How To” guide.
This one’s fer you an yer dad, Liz Cheney:
WAR IS PEACE.
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY.
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
DICK IS PUSSY.
Dick IS a pussy. Armchair fuckin general.
Not here, but it was caught within three comments at Racist Spaghetti Monster’s own blog:
Robert Stacy McCain == Scary Cretin Combat
Are all conservatives brainless douchebags? Or is it only the conservatives I’ve met or read or heard of?
“What’s a plave?”
What the rain in Spain falls mainly upon.
Don’t you mean, What the rave in Spave falls mavely upon?
The swastika and the copy of Mein Kampf are merely symbols of a proud Aryan culture, and not antisemitic at all.
The Stars and Bars and the copy of The Turner Diaries are merely symbols of a proud Southern heritage, and not racist at all.
The Turner Diaries
I’ve been in lust ever since “Body Heat.”
Someone has no clue what a dateline is.
That first place is where the reporter is, not where the reporter thinks an even occurred. You can get stories on Warren, PA that are datelined Erie or even stories on Amman, Jordan that are datelined Jerusalem. Not an auspicious start to skooling the media.
His argument for personal responsibility works double plus good when applied to misunderstood Muslim terrorists, who only want to blow up American civilians because they are expected to.
The rave in Spave falls maively on R.S.-Lives-in-a-McCave?
Oh, come on. He knows perfectly well what a dateline is. He’s got a bunch of ridiculous 1-900 charges to prove it.
to a nuclear bomb which likewise had people take a step back and go “holy fuck, what did I unleash”…
“I am become Shiva the destroyer of worlds” – Robert Oppenheimer
Fizzixt.
You can’t spell Robert Stacy McCain without r-a-c-i-s-t.
Ha! Dude’s pure inane insanity.
I got your International Dateline right here!
[waves out window in vague easterly direction]
You can get stories on Warren, PA that are datelined Erie…
I am somewhat concerned that Warren, PA would pop into your head when writing about, well, anything. I say this because I know Warren, PA quite well. Erie, also. Please stop reminding me that I know these places.
shorter me: GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!
Show us the court order.
Fine. I wouldn’t have to do this unless you made me. If you didn’t expect it, I wouldn’t have to do it.
OT: this poor Mayan elder sounds like he already wants to slap a bitch, & it’s not even 2010 yet.
Looks to me like Central American booze- & tranquilizer-vendors are going to be rolling in dough for at least the next three years.
The more folks in your head, PeeJ, the more attractive it is to ZOM NOM NOMing.
Coupla-three smoked ham hocks. Water to cover. Bring to simmer, and as the sisters in Babettes Feast said, let it cook.
Several hours later, remove the piggy parts and let cool. Skim excess(?) fat from the broth and reserve. Retrieve the meat from the porkyfootses and chop roughly. Yes, there will be a lot of rind, gristle and fat and shit but so what? Just get the meat separated as best you can and toss the rest.
Into a big dollop of melted butter in an appropriate pot, add a largish pile of mirepoix. Go a little heavy on the carrots. Saute until tender. Grind some pepper, and also rub some dried thyme and savory between your fingers. Cook for a few more minutes then add the porcine goodness. That reserved ham broth? Now is the time.
If you had the foresight to cook some beans (white; “Navy” preferably though cannellini would be great as well) add them now. If you’re being a lazy dick, open a can or two of white beans and git em in there.
Let it all commingle and marry at a simmer for a while. Finish the soup with another chunk of butter and stir in some Wondra flour. Alternatively, make a beurre manie and thicken with that.
It becomes a meal with a chopped salad, hot crusty bread and whatever cheap but tasty wine you have on hand.
(Pistachio, in this case) ice cream from the store – with crumbled whatever cookies you might have in the cupboard strewn on top – makes an easy but tasty dessert.
Riding D-KW’s mom in the kitchen is not only unnecessary, it’s icky!
Coupla-three smoked ham hocks.
Veiled three-little-pigs sex reference.
Also, the mirepoix MUST include a hefty dose of those oh-so-flavorful celery leaves which you have chopped finely. Also.
I think I’d trust Michelle Marsh at CBS Atlanta’s dateline more than Robert Stacy Bigoted Maryland Resident Who Doesn’t Know The Difference Between A Mailing Address And A Street Address McCain’s dateline.
Temple is in Paulding, and proof positive of my 50-50 rule: drive 50 miles west or north from Atlanta, and set your socioeconomic thinking back 50 years.
Since we’re talking pig recipes, here was dinner at Dr. Tintin’s house
1 pork shoulder steak (about 1 – 1.5 lbs.)
2 small Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 inch cubes
3/4 cup baby carrots
One small yellow onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 bottle white wine
4 oz. heavy cream
2 tbs. dijon mustard (the real French stuff, not faux Grey Poupon)
Salt, pepper, Herbes de Provence
Wilt onions in 2 tbs of olive oil, butter, or canola oil. Add garlic and cook until fragrant. Remove from skillet and reserve.
Season pork shoulder steak with salt, pepper and herbes de Provence. Brown pork shoulder steak in skillet, adding oil or butter if necessary. Return onion and garlic to skillet. Add wine. Cover and cook for 30 minutes.
Add potatoes and carrots and cook for another 40 minutes covered.
Remove pork and vegetables to a plate and cover with foil to keep warm. Add cream to cooking liquid and reduce until thick enough to coat wooden spoon. Stir in mustard.
Cut pork into serving pieces and pour over mustard sauce. Serve with potatoes and carrots. Serves 2.
Pumpkin, cut in half, seeds scooped out, placed cut sides down in a baking tray with a bit of water and some curry powder. Roasted for about an hour.
Cauliflower, broken up into sub-thumb-sized florets, tossed with olive oil and salt, some parmesean and a couple of chopped up cloves of garlic, laid out on a tray and similarly roasted.
Green beans, same.
Leftover wild rice/corn/coconut milk thing.
Dr. T, you got it baby! ‘Cept, I wouldn’t cook it that long. Hmmmm, pork…long…. ‘scuse me.
Are all conservatives brainless douchebags?
No. Some conservatives are brainless colostomy bags.
Where’s your address again, PeeJ? I think I misplaced it. I hope you’re keeping my plate warm.
@PeeJ/ Shoulderr becomes tender with longer cooking. . I wouldn’t cook other cuts that long.
PJ –
One of my favorite comfort foods:
One large or two small smoked hamhocks
One bunch collards (kale works equally well), spine removed and cut crosswise into half inch strips.
One onion, diced.
1-3 cloves garlic
2 cups beans of your choice
1 bay leaf and a little dried thyme
Salt and pepper to taste
Saute onions in oil or lard until wilted. Add garlic and saute about 1 more minute.
Add greens, beans, hocks, and seasonings with enough water (chicken broth also can add an extra boost to the flavor) to cover by one inch.
Cover and cook forever (about 1-2 hours usually, depends on when the beans get soft).
Complicated Potatoes
A fat man like me
Can never bother with tea or brie
I must go right to the main course
And wolf it down like a rhinoceros
But a woman like her
Can tease me with a warm hors d’ouevre
She slices and dices nicely
Which has a way of enticing me
Armed with an apron and spatula
She is a post-modern goddess of love
So why does she feed me pate`
When she knows what I’m gonna say
Complicated potatoes again?
Complicated potatoes
She spices her icings precisely
Arousing me aromatically
I had a recent rhinoscopy
So I could smell every recipe
Still she leaves me on pre-heat
When she knows that I love to eat
Complicated potatoes again
Complicated potatoes
-Adrian Belew
Long pork? Cannibal!
Hey! Good eatin’ at last.
Make sure to remove the missionary’s collar before rendering.
Normally, I prefer the unaltered pictures of the right-wing dirtbags, but I do approve of the toilet-shopped photos.
Toilets are always funny, unless I’ve eaten those little black peppers at the thai restaurant the night before, and since I had only a salami sandwich with a nice provolone, bravo!
I went and looked around the comment thread and what was interesting is that a lot of people were saying to McCain, “Hey dude, this is not someone you want to defend.” These were many of his regular readers. Mebbe we’re getting close to a wingnut shark-jumping moment (or would that be “bigot-jumping?”).
I have no idea why I might be this optimistic on a cold Monday morning.
Some people prefer creamed spinach, kid, but those people don’t love their greens.
Riding D-KW’s mom in the kitchen is not only unnecessary, it’s icky!
Plus she puffs herself up when you’re cinching the girth so the saddle falls off when you get on.
Temple is in Paulding
Temple is in Carroll, which was kind of sort of his sorry excuse for a point if one ignores completely that she said nothing about it in the article and it was only the dateline.
I thought it was: “Upon which the rave in Spave mavely falls.”
But I’m a pedantic schmuck.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go bleach my eyeballs so I can get that picture of RSM out of my head. BRB.
Hlglglglgkglgrlglgrk. (/homerdroolgargle)
those little black peppers at the thai restaurant
Rat turds. Don’t let ’em tell you they’re “capers.”
My interpretation of his “argument” is roughly as follows:
Lefties keep pointing out that some Southerners are racist. That makes us feel like you think we’re all racists, and that makes it okay for some of us to be racists.
As arguments so, the snake isn’t just biting its tail, the snake’s tail is halfway through the snake’s colon.
she puffs herself up when you’re cinching the girth so the saddle falls off when you get on.
There is nothing I could say that would make this sound any more disgusting.
Temple is in Carroll, which was kind of sort of his sorry excuse for a point if one ignores completely that she said nothing about it in the article and it was only the dateline.
You’re right (not wing).
Suddenly reminded of Lester Maddox.