Aug
5
5
Fried Chicken Cake With Watermelon Icing
ABOVE: Ann Leary, enough to drive a kitten to pee in a toilet bowl
Slightly Shorter Ann Leary, Backward Conservative
About That Cake
- The darkey in the White House can’t even do his own birthday cake right. His cake was all ghettoed up like some pimped-out Cadillac filled with playahs and hos. White presidents (and the white people that voted for them) eat simple white cakes with white icing and, maybe, a strawberry or two for decoration.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:36
Ann Leary looks like she knows all about cakes. Urinal cakes.
lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:37
Yes, I’m sure Obama spent the better part of the weekend consulting with the White House bakers, making sure every detail of his birthday cake was just so!
Nom de Plume said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:38
Love him or hate him, George Bush had a real cake for his birthday.
Now, how did I just know before I clicked on her link to Bush’s birthday cake that it would be white?
lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:39
But of course McCain’s birthday cake was the bestest. Nothing like eating cake w/a grin while black people die to show how classy those white presidents were!
Darth Revan said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:41
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNjcuZ-LiSY
YOU! Cake or death?
Scott said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:44
I don’t dare click on that link, do I? It’s just as bad or worse than what the shorter is, right?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:44
…say what you will about George Bush..
OK.
George Bush was a sadistic, misanthropic dry-drunk asshole with power issues and no moral compass who was an abject failure at every position ever attained for him by Bush Family lickspittles.
Fuck his cake with Barbara Bush’s dick.
Nom de Plume said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:45
Real Americans, like Ronald Reagan, always have tasteful and understated birthday cakes.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:45
It’s not much longer, Scott.
I think Tintin’s is more clearly written though.
It’s the first Shorter I’ve clicked through in quite some time.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:48
nice piccy, Tintin.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:49
Nothing like eating cake w/a grin while black people die to show how classy those white presidents were!
I read they didn’t even eat the damn cake, just cut it for the photo op and left it. From Newsweek: “It was Aug. 29, McCain’s 69th birthday, and on the tarmac, Bush presented his old political rival with a cake. The two posed, holding the cake up for cameras, and within seconds, went their separate ways. The cake, melting in the 110-degree Arizona heat, was left behind, uneaten.”
Pockmark Notorious said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:49
That cake is ballin’!
Uncle Oxidant said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:50
Massah is comin; hide da watermelon!
slippytoad said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:51
Of course, they could have sent it to New Orleans, since there was no fuckin’ bread.
Substance McGravitas said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:51
Cakes are a window to the hatred that divides us all.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:52
Geez, lolly, your link says that, I figured it was just a link to the pic. Sorry for not clicking yours before I posted. Anyhoo, I know where you can get some adverbs….
lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:53
Hmmm–maybe, despite all its uber-classiness, that cake wasn’t a real cake after all.
Kind of like the “turkey” he served to the troops on Thanksgiving?
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:53
Also, that kitten is so fucking cute my head asplode.
lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:54
Oh, and I didn’t read the link either–just got it for the picture!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:55
The cake is a lie.
</Obligatory meme comment.>
Dot said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:55
Ann Leary really wants to know if the cake is chocolate, white, or marble. My guess is that real cakes are white….
Pere Ubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:56
Nothing like eating cake w/a grin while black people die to show how classy those white presidents were!
Thank god you went there ’cause if you didn’t I would have had to.
And proper American cakes dispense with the whole “sugar” thing in favor of proper American blandness, i.e. mayonnaise and skim milk. Deep fried, of course. With ketchup.
Marco said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:57
I wish I had the time Ann Leary does to be concerned about dumbfuck crazy trivial shit like b-day cakes, Dijon mustard, date nights and the like.
Why does anyone take these ass cramps dressed as humans seriously?
Pere Ubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:58
That’s definitely one ugly turd in that cat box though.
I don’t think even our dogs would eat that.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:58
Godsdammit, now I want some cake.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:59
i.e.
mayonnaiseMiracle Whip™ and skim milk.Why do you hate Freedom™, Pere U.?
Lesly said,
August 5, 2009 at 19:59
I have a cat. I wish he was potty trained.
Can someone teach my cat to read Ann Leary? :(
Steerpike said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:00
Cake is Theft!
Shithouse Cat said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:01
Scuse my clAWs!
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:01
Bush always kept it classy.
Ted the Slacker said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:02
Have to say I was hoping the cake would be decorated with a birth certificate.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:02
“mayonnaise and skim milk. Deep fried, of course. With ketchup.”
That sounds like the fuckin’ bomb! Without ketchup though. That shit’s nasty. Also, can we make it evaporated skim milk? And more mayo on the side for dipping?
lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:02
Re: Reagan’s cake linked above–
Did anybody actually eat that one? It doesn’t really look edible.
And is that a horse with flowers stuck in its back?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:03
“a horse with flowers stuck in its back?”
That’s the international symbol for gay cowboy.
Scott said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:03
Whatchall got against skim milk?
lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:06
So that’s what the “Area Woman” did with her 9/11 “Flag Cake” . . .
Marion in Savannah said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:06
Jeez Louise — if my cats saw that thing in one of their litter boxes they’d tear my throat open while I slept.
The Dead Acorn said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:06
W looks less like he’s blowing out candles than screaming in a little girly voice “Aaagh! Fire! Get it away! Fire BAD! Mommy!”
Pere Ubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:09
Whatchall got against skim milk?
Oh, sCUSE mEH for trying to think “quintessentially bland” in a proper patriotic Learyian way. I should have said “salamander”. Pfeh!
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:09
McCains cake is melting in the heat
All the lime green backdrop flowing down
Someone left the cake out on the tarmac
I dont think that I can fake it
Cause it took so long to bake it
And Ill never have that recipe again!
Oh, no-o-o-o!
Oh, no-o-o-o!
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:10
Another understated Bush cake This is the White House cake for his 60th birthday.
Tommmcatt said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:11
Yeah, you can’t compete with class and elegance like this.
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:12
Love him or hate him, George Bush had a
real cakegram of coke for his birthday.Diaskeuasisated for akrassy.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:13
I want to see the vault copy of the cake.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:15
Ha ha here’s one the Bushies had done for Placido Domingo. Why they put ugly fat Elvis on the top is a mystery.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:17
Tombstone birthday cake for Gerald Ford. SUBTLE.
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:18
Speaking of GWB, wish I could take credit for this.
Peter Gabriel said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:19
That cake Tomcat posted makes him look like a retarded James Woods. The James Woods part is the problem.
Nom de Plume said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:21
Wow, I’m just astonished that so many of us have instantaneously found examples of garish, overdone Republican birthday cakes. It’s almost as if it were possible to simply type words like “Bush birthday cake” or “Reagan cake” into a little box and suddenly be confronted with thousands of pictures of those very things.
Just imagine if such a magical device actually existed–no conservative blogger would ever make an ass of themselves ever again.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:27
Just imagine if such a magical device actually existed–no conservative blogger would ever make an ass of themselves ever again.
I bet we could come up with a LOT of examples! Like a google or maybe even a googleplex of them!
Marion in Savannah said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:32
It may be that the conservatives, finding Teh Great Gazoogle too complex, are trying to use that POS Bing.
SpotWeld said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:33
If there was only some sort of historical president…
http://pro.corbis.com/Enlargement/Enlargement.aspx?id=BE002767&ext=1
Lesley said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:35
More from the virally stupid ‘righttards
cake said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:35
sheep go to heaven
Ann go to hell
cowalker said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:37
I guess this was the Bush 59th birthday cake.
Scroll down to the July 11th post. Cake or Catherine Wheel? But pallidly tasteful in any case.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:38
And proper American cakes dispense with the whole “sugar” thing in favor of proper American blandness
High-Fructose Corn Syrup!
Funny how real ‘Murkins don’t put a plastic baby Jesus in their cakes, like them soo-doh Frenchies down in LA.
justme said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:41
Christ. Y’know, I had nearly forgotten what a tacky son of a bitch he was.
Thanks a bunch for scratching that scab.
Pere Ubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:43
Printed below the president’s white face, black-rimmed eyes and exaggerated, red smile is the word, “socialism” in bold, black letters.
Stayin’ classy, them wingnuts.
(And is it possible – dare I say it – that they’re going for a “blackface” thing with this to boot? Wow, even classier, guys!)
justme said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:44
Also, totally OT, but you have to love the Clenis’ flair for the dramatic.
stogoe said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:44
I’ll have the Death, please.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:46
We were taken to a location and when we walked through the doors we saw standing before us President Bill Clinton.
His penis in his hands and he seemed happy to see us…
Substance McGravitas said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:47
Well, there’s more to it. See Ed Driscoll who proves conclusively that eight wingnuts complaining about one guy from LAWeekly is a left-wing conniption fit.
LittlePig said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:48
Why they put ugly fat Elvis on the top is a mystery.
That’s not Elvis, you silly.
That’s Jimmy Hoffa.
Tommmcatt said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:49
the Clenis’ flair for the dramatic.
It’s all about the ladies, oh yeeeeahhhh….
stogoe said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:50
No, wait. Cake. Definitely cake.
Grace Nearing said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:52
Wow, I’m just astonished that so many of us have instantaneously found examples of garish, overdone Republican birthday cakes.
Here’s one more: Reagan’s LXXXIII birthday cake, featuring a plastic GOP elephant and lots of miniature American flags, all sitting atop tiers of what hopefully was simulated elephant dung.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:56
My fiancee is staying with family in the DC area, and she says the Domino’s Pizzas in the area were giving out free Chocolate Lava cakes for the President’s birthday. To quote The Boondocks, “In a minute I’m gonna figure out exactly why that offends me.”
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:57
I guess this was the Bush 59th birthday cake.
Scroll down to the July 11th post. Cake or Catherine Wheel? But pallidly tasteful in any case.
That was given to him in Denmark, so it’s more a Birthday Danish.
MacArthur Park said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:59
That cake isn’t so bad. But you should have seen mine it was perfect I tell you ……until….. all the sweet, green icing flowing down, someone left the cake out in the rain.
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:00
Kudos to everyone who found all those cakes, which I have dutifully posted at the comments section on Ms. O’Leary’s blog (as far as I can tell, the only people who read her blog are commie fascist pinko marxists). Thanks for doing all the work for me.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:02
MacArthur Park said,
August 5, 2009 at 20:59
ACK! Fragmented Ear Worm! NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
And it’s the bit where he grabs his balls hard and hits that really fucking high note too!
g said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:04
what did he do, put Dijon mustard on his cake?
Michael Gambon said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:04
Sorry, I’ll be singing MacArthur Park from where the last guy left off.
Lou Dobbs said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:04
Show us the long cake, Obama!
Larry Craig said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:05
Yes, show us your long… cake? Oh, never mind. Fuck this noise, Craig out.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:06
as far as I can tell, the only people who read her blog are commie fascist pinko marxists
Did you catch her response?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:07
Whoops. I assume you can figure out where
I should have closed that tagWordPress ate my close tag.Larry Craig said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:09
My favorite line from MacArthur Park is “Foaming like a wave on the ground around your knees.” It has so much meaning, don’t you think.
But… but … officer, it’s just a song…… really! Oh, shit.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:09
what did he do, put Dijon mustard on his cake?
The cake was made out of arugula, too, and had a beer back.
Caliph Garrett said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:11
Obama only showed us his shortcake. If he’d gotten in front of this with the long form cake, this never would have happened.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:12
I do, however, think we have a candidate who is bucking for Althouse’s job as town drunk:
(emphasis added)
Ann, if I was you, I’d start wearing heavier bra cups…
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:13
This cake tries too hard. Is he a man or a cardboard cutout of a president?
What this has to do with birthday cakes escapes me. And, as Grace Nearing points out, other people make these cakes, and Obama’s involvement is limited to blowing out the candles and being as gracious as possible. But to the American Idiots of Conservatism, USA, everything associated with Obama is just another sign of his Islamofascist usurper perfidy. Endless amusement, these people bring.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:14
Craig out.
Not on purpose, he’s not.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:16
A friend of mine made Clinton’s 50th cake. He bid hard for the job, twisted nearly every arm he could, called every local politico and reminded them of the premium cakes and hand decorations he and his father did.
He was a republican. He had no love of Clinton at all, but the boost to his bakery was enormous. He was able to cash out in five years (mid-90s. Everyone had cash) and retire.
The fucking bastard.
Anyway, the point is, the cake was not made for Clinton so much as an advertisement. I presume the same shit happened here.
Steerpike said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:16
Show us the pole-vault copy!
g said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:20
These folks are really adept at using the broad brush – I guess they want to lay down enough fire in the hopes somethig will work. So Obama wants to kill Grandma AND he has an ugly birthday cake!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:21
These folks are really adept at using the broad brush
This smear job tries too hard. Is Ann Leary a man, or just a cardboard cutout of POOP?
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:21
My favorite line from MacArthur Park is “Foaming like a wave on the ground around your knees.” It has so much meaning, don’t you think.
Best Jimmy Webb acid trip ever.
Also, did you know that the song was covered by a varied group of artists which includes Psychotica, Andy Williams, Waylon Jennings, The Queers, The Negro Problem, Doc Severinsen, Justin Hayward (of Moody Blues fame), and the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain? It’s true!
The Queers song of the same title is a partial cover. Specifically, it is just the chorus repeated, done in a punk rock style. It appears on a compilation of their early records called A Day Late And A Dollar Short
The Negro Problem alluded to MacArthur Park’s crime problems with their cover, which replaces the word cake with crack.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacArthur_Park_(song)
Larry Craig said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:22
Craig out.
I am not, and have never been, a hetero…er, homosexual.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:24
MacArthur Park tries too hard. Is the sweet green icing a man or just a cardboard cutout of a kitteh in a toilet?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:25
Larry Craig tries too hard. Is he blowing a man or just wanking to cardboard cutouts of them?
Trinity said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:26
I assumed the President’s cake was covered in acorns.
Dot said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:27
Couldn’t he just have had a Friendly’s Wattamelon Roll?
http://pics.livejournal.com/bunnykissd/pic/0021p7p5
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:29
Cardboard cutouts try too hard. Is this a serious argument or just a cardboard cutout of a zen koan?
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:31
According to her profile, Anne Leary is a member of Illinoisans For Mitt Romney in 2012. Funny, I would have guessed her to be a Palinite.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:31
Okay, it’s outta my system.
On a side note, CAKE!
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:33
On a side note, CAKE!
Is that first one a cake for furries?
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:33
Cardboard cutouts try too hard. Is this a serious argument or just a cardboard cutout of a zen koan?
Snark tries too hard. Is this a serious snarkument or just a snarboard cutout of a cutting remark?
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:34
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Anne Leary is a comedian:
Protesting the Astroturf ObamaCare Rally
Eric Odom, American Liberty Alliance, with his first-hand report.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:35
Also, PENISCAKE!
Knights in White Satin said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:40
Didn’t McArthur Park win Dave Barry’s “Worst Song Ever” contest?
Or was it “I Am, I Said” ??
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:41
Didn’t McArthur Park win Dave Barry’s “Worst Song Ever” contest?
“Humorist” Dave Barry choosing the worst of anything is like Hitler judging a serial killer contest.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:43
Love him or hate him, George Bush had a real cake for his birthday.
It may have been a plastic prop like everything else about his photo-ops including his own self, but it was real.
i.e., tasteless nouveau-riche patriotic kitsch bullshit.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:44
Is that first one a cake for furries?
No. Wait, actually yes. Anyways, it’s everybody’s favourite internet tradition.
g said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:46
Love him or hate him, George Bush had a real cake for his birthday.
As real as the turkey he brought to the troops in Iraq.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:47
The judges have decided: Xecky wins by three minutes.
Substitute Lunch Lady said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:49
No, wait. Cake. Definitely cake.
Sorry, kid. We’re out of cake.
Froley said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:49
I call the Marine Corp eagle, globe and anchor. Semper Fi-licious!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:50
The judges are blind.
lolly by almost two hours.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:51
Funny, nobody seems to have linked to the Best Cake Site EVAR.
Lolly said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:52
Woo hoo!
I kan haz kak now?
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:52
The judges are blind.
lolly by almost two hours.
If the judges are not around to see it…if they’re, say,
out at the bareating lunch, then it is the preliminary competition.*marking DK-W down in The Book*
Euripides said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:53
ARUUU ARUUUU ARUUUU
Do not eat CAKE.
CAKE IS A MADE UP DRUG
Here are some alarming facts about CAKE
If you don’t watch this and laugh, I’ll send in the ACORN!
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:54
Eric Odom, King of AstroTurf, sez:
In the end, it’s important for Americans to note that these pro-Obamacare rallies are well funded, well planned and well organized events put on by powerful lobbyists and special interest groups.
They’re going to come and tell you they’re a grassroots movement looking to help solve the healthcare crises. But in reality all they want is power and money, and in the process… they’ll take your liberty down in flames if that is required.
http://illinois.americanlibertyalliance.com/2009/08/05/protesting-the-astroturf-obamacare-rally/
In other news, a pot called a kettle black. Film at eleven.
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:57
No. Wait, actually yes. Anyways, it’s everybody’s favourite internet tradition.
Once again, I have learned something from the internets that I did not previously know, or want to know. Thanks, DKW.
Crissa said,
August 5, 2009 at 21:58
Admittedly, that’s the only cake that Domino’s serves, having had them in some form or another for the last five years…
kingubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:01
sheep go to heaven
Ann go to hell
In a weird and unfortunate coincidence, Dr. Maddow mentioned last night that one of the American hikers who was recently scooped up in Iran was Cake’s original bass player.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:03
This cake tries too hard. Is he a man or a cardboard cutout of a president?
Jesus Christ, Bush had the presidential seal put on EVERYTHING: navy footie socks(worn by Mr. Classy President under crocs), jackets, even the ugliest goddamn cowboy boots EVAR.
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:14
Jesus Christ, Bush…
Alas, Bush really existed.
cowalker said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:14
If my kitteh found her litter box occupied by a human head, it would just be another excuse to take her business to the rug at the bottom of the stairs.
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:14
It stimulates the part of the brain called Shatner’s Bassoon.
That made me laugh out loud. Mission accomplished, Mr. Greek guy.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:16
Fuck his cake with Barbara Bush’s dick.
You can fuck your cake and eat it, as my friend Mr “Special white sauce” Rudy used to say, after intensive research.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:19
You can fuck your cake and eat it
I tried that once. It took three weeks in traction to fix my neck.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:21
a cardboard cutout of a zen koan
A cut through a zen cone gives you a hyperbole — or else a circle of which the circumference is everywhere and the centre, nowhere.
As opposed to a cut through a zen Cohen which gives you OMG THE FORESKIN HOLOCAUST.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:22
I tried that once. It took three weeks in traction to fix my neck.
Not at the same time you doofus.
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:25
OT but disturbing: AP delves into the Pittsburgh shooter’s blog; magically finds nothing about Obama “The black man” nor do they find anything notable about “Black dudes have thier choice of best white” to report.
No, really.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:26
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:16
OK, I don’t want cake anymore.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:26
The judges have decided: Xecky wins by three minutes.
I was running a slightly different race, although my comment did entail the turkey (and indeed, Lolly got there way first).
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:27
Where in the world is Smut Clyde?
Still in… GASP!!!! Amsterdam?
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:28
(and indeed, Lolly got there way first)
Look, if a guy can’t have a beer in peace around here, screw you all, Ah’m gewing hyome!
Bill said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:28
In 2007 inflation-adjusted dollars:
Wilmette, IL median household income $120,469.00
United States median household income $50,007.00
I would suspect in 2007 adjusted household-circumstances, Ann Leary could have had Barack Obama serve Ann’s birthday cake to Ann, and guests.
Just kidding.
mid 90's alternarock nostalgia said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:29
Certainly better than Ezra’s.
Pere Ubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:30
If my kitteh found her litter box occupied by a human head, it would just be another excuse to take her business to the rug at the bottom of the stairs.
She’s a CAT.
Like she NEEDS an excuse.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:32
Still in… GASP!!!! Amsterdam?
Home of the Monument to Humourless Dildos.
Apparently they have cake here but I have not tried the recipe.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:32
Holy Crap, PeeJ, that guy was nuts: “Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter.”
Um, wow.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:34
If my kitteh found her litter box occupied by a human head
Do you not have a fridge?
roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:34
So a poor kid from Chicago goes from subsistence living to being fuckin’ president, and she’s gonna begrudge the guy a little goddamn celebrating? Cute. Now, of course, lavish excess and overblown filigree were just boring and passe’ when you grew up Bushie, which is why Dubya used to ‘slum’ and ‘play cowboy’ and put on his ‘look mommy an poppy I am a reg’lar joe murrkun’ play clothes.
I think the cake looks fuckin’ cool. The white boring strawberry shitcake in her linked photo of Dubya just looks like someone was lazy and went to the grocery store.
Adam Dimond said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:37
thanks for the BUFFALO CAKE REPORTING! I salute you, Ladies and Gentlemen!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:37
Home of the Monument to Humourless Dildos.
That must be the queen, her progeny are all over the sidewalks!
Pere Ubu said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:39
OT but disturbing: AP delves into the Pittsburgh shooter’s blog; magically finds nothing about Obama “The black man” nor do they find anything notable about “Black dudes have thier choice of best white” to report.
Uh? Did I miss something? I see nothing about Obama at that link.
What, was Malkin doing her “BLAAAAHHH VIOLENT LIBERALS” routine today or something?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:41
Apparently they have cake here but I have not tried the recipe.
I had a couple, and then went to the Van Gogh museum… I felt that my body was a few degrees off the vertical, and my sense of personal space was heightened to the extent I was almost paranoid.
Smut Clyde said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:49
I had a couple, and then went to the Van Gogh museum
My experiences are 15 years old (or more). Had one… nothing happened immediately… had another… BAD MISTAKE.
It was an unsettling experience to discover that my working memory had contracted to the point that I could find my current location on the street map, OR I could find the hostel where I was staying, but not both at the same time. This resulted in an extremely roundabout walk home that took me through the red-light district about 17 times.
tigrismus said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:51
Uh? Did I miss something? I see nothing about Obama at that link.
I think that was the point; if you google the guy(George Sodini), other news outlets mention there was some stuff at his blog.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:52
http://www.pww.org/article/articleview/16629/
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:53
I had a couple, and then went to the Van Gogh museum
We ARE still talking about cakes, right? This isn’t some netspeak tradition I am not aware of, right?
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:53
Pere, the link I gave was to the AP article. Here is the full text from his blog.
I apologize for any confusion I may have caused. I further deny that I could possibly have caused confusion in the first place. Comments, questions, bitches and gripes should be directed to STFU.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:54
I would suspect in 2007 adjusted household-circumstances, Ann Leary could have had Barack Obama serve Ann’s birthday cake to Ann, and guests.
Wilmette. Suburb north of Chicago. Very white (or was when I lived in the area). And if memory serves, Chicago was kind of scary to most folks there.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:54
sure Smut Clyde.
You wanna stick with that story?
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:56
Getting back on topic – Anne Leary engages with her commenters, all of whom have pointed out that she’s full of shit:
This cake tries too hard. Is he a man or a cardboard cutout of a president?
Lots of sugary goo too, can’t think Michelle approves.
Anne Leary | Homepage | 08.05.09 – 2:54 pm | #
Our celebrity president. Initial coverage by NBC.
Anne Leary | Homepage | 08.05.09 – 4:14 pm | #
Ladies and germs, our conservative elite.
Emblematic of our President Barack Obama–all pomp no performance
Anne Leary | Homepage | 08.05.09 – 5:06 pm | #
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:56
Damn misplaced final line.
a different mikey said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:58
Re: Herr Dr. SC:
Whenever you hear someone say; “I’m not getting off I better eat more…” (intentional ominous ellipsis) better hold on to your hat. If you hear yourself say it then it’s too late.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 5, 2009 at 22:59
Had one… nothing happened immediately… had another… BAD MISTAKE.
Same here… Funny, I wasn’t really impaired by the second one. My cognitive/motor functions were fine, I just felt that I was tilted three degrees off the vertical.
This resulted in an extremely roundabout walk home that took me through the red-light district about 17 times.
Yeah, blame the cakes! You were just window-shopping.
We ARE still talking about cakes, right? This isn’t some netspeak tradition I am not aware of, right?
Not a netspeak tradition, but an Amsterdam one.
PeeJ said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:00
The Ho and I had an Amsterdammer taart and went to the Museum of Sex. Borring. Total tourist trap (which we expected but even so, phuh).
I’ve heard that the gummint ober dere has been discouraging cake sales.
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:02
George Sodini – another “nice guy” who thought women owed him sex, simply by virtue of his “niceness.” Too bad he didn’t just take himself out, and leave everyone else alone.
actor212 said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:02
Not a netspeak tradition, but an Amsterdam one.
Fucking Dutch…
Snarla said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:26
Obama was too canny to have a big, beautiful mosque cake on his birthday, but you know he wanted to.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:27
CA: I can just hear her responding to the comments in a snippy little suburban housewife voice. She must be wondering where all these comments came from. Thinking that made me smile, it did.
Snarla said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:27
Make that: http://snarla.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/its-a-cake-and-a-mosque/
commie atheist said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:31
She must be wondering where all these comments came from.
Well, since the only commenters on her website seem to have come from here, she’s probably just happy for all the hits.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:50
Pete Sessions has just told it like it is: the days of civil town halls are OVER. It will be a looooong hot August for Democrat Party leaders.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:52
You libs are sitting on a powder keg and you don’t even know it! Fools.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:56
We didn’t know it, so you just told us we were. Fool to INFINITY, no BACKSIES.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:57
the days of civil town halls are OVER.
And after we blew the shit out of Iraq to establish them there.
Shall we bookmark this, troofus?
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 5, 2009 at 23:58
I’m still not clear on what “The Conservative Wave” is. Apart from the one that just ebbed starting in ’06 because the American public noticed the Redoublechins had gone dribbling bugfuck crazy.
I assume it has to do with how conservatives sometimes behave like waves, sometimes like particles, but always like jackasses.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:00
Though I’ll admit it’s nice to see a Reichtard admitting that the purported Conservative devotion to both democracy and civility were bullshit.
El Cid said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:08
It’s really, really going to piss off the nut squads of the Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Teabag Uprisin’ when we Democrats push through a health care reform plan with a strong public option and they look around at their dwindling electoral wasteland and realize that, oh shit, my cracker neighbors are finally about to get health insurance they can afford through Obama’s reforms and federal assistance, and, holy shit, even my racist Southern cracker neighbors know who brought them that.
The Republican Party will be finally reduced to 5 birther guys in an Alabama trailer park. And, good riddance.
kingubu said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:09
I’m still not clear on what “The Conservative Wave” is.
A fart bubble in Grover Norquist’s bathtub.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:12
The Republican Party will be finally reduced to 5 birther guys in an Alabama trailer park.
True, and that’s why they’re fighting it so hard. I’m not going to count them out just yet – it depends on the effect it has on the public when they crank up the dial past “crazy” to “violent”.
Judging by the effect of the off-putting cracker-rousing Palin rallies, it’s not going to work, but the U.S. public and Congress are capable of truly astounding stupidity and capitulation in the face of, well, rabies.
Froley said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:13
the days of civil town halls are OVER.
If that’s how it’s going to be, then the war on Christmas will begin early this year. Ban the Baby Jesus!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:14
the U.S. public and Congress are capable of truly astounding stupidity and capitulation in the face of, well, rabies.
…oh, and big fat bribe checks from corporations. In the end, those are the biggest threat to the public option.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:18
The health care bill is dead. The Democrats will realize that after they see our faces at their town halls, and our anger, and our power and that we will take this country back.
“Public option?” Its dead, libs, we’ve already won, you just don’t know it yet!
The Conservative Wank said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:18
The days of civil town halls are OVER because conservatives are, on the main, poorly-socialized schmucks who think the US owes them something.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:19
You know how we’ll take back America? Terrorism. It’ll be AWESOME.
Lolly said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:20
Yes, she seems like a total ditz who hasn’t yet realized that she walked into the wrong party there in her own comment section.
TroofieWatch said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:20
I notice the majority of America still doesn’t believe Obama’s daughters are the bastard children of Rev. Wright, Troofie. What happened to that grand scheme that would change everything and Take Back America?
Lolly said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:23
Well, just don’t use any swear words. If there’s one thing we learned during the Bush admin, it’s that using swear words is the absolute worst thing anyone can do. It’ll be hard for wingnuts to disrupt town halls if they’re all clutching their pearls and searching for fainting couches because somebody said a bad word!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:24
OT, but that shooter was (big surprise) a loser who hadn’t been laid in 20 years. Fuck’s sake, dude. Pay for a little if you have to; it’s better than shooting random women.*
*Granted, that’s an assumption but I’m willing to wager it’s true.
Euripides said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:28
This Conservative Wave seems to have been generated by some kind of high pass filter modulating Brown Noise.
Tommmcatt said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:31
By the way, ZRM, I think someone posted one of your home movies on the You Tube.
What is that, a family reunion?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:32
In other news, a pot called a kettle black. Film at eleven.
In other words, vast projection of claims we could actually back the fuck up, repeated like a pet cockatoo, with no real comprehension of what the words mean.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:37
OT, but that shooter was (big surprise) a loser who hadn’t been laid in 20 years. Fuck’s sake, dude. Pay for a little if you have to; it’s better than shooting random women
Speaking as someone who’s at about 27 years without action, I’m wagering there was probably some other impetus other than not getting his knob stroked. Well, probably. People seem to attach more to it than I have.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 0:48
tommm, that’s an office meeting.
SomeNYGuy said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:00
I’m wagering there was probably some other impetus other than not getting his knob stroked. Well, probably. People seem to attach more to it than I have.
What exactly have you attached to your knob? A cock ring? Christmas lights? A Phillips head? A three-prong adaptor?
And you say others have attached even more to it? Where do you shop for pants?
Tommmcatt said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:03
Oh. That explains the dazed look on everybody’s face.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:09
” I’m wagering there was probably some other impetus other than not getting his knob stroked.”
The useless fucker said that if he had hooked up with a (certain) woman, he would have cancelled or delayed his “exit plan.” Reading his unexcerpted blog, he was a whiny victim who hated women because he couldn’t get dates, despite his narcissism and blaming of his family for all of his problems. What a mystery that he couldn’t find anybody to go out with him.
Such a pity he didn’t just shoot himself first.
commie atheist said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:12
Conservative Waves:
http://www.getreadytorock.com/rock_stars/devo3.jpg
Extra
g said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:13
I’m still not clear on what “The Conservative Wave” is.
Those douches in baseball parks who keep trying to start up a tired, old gimmick that doesn’t have any place in baseball games.
commie atheist said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:16
Extra hard shells for maximum protection from government microwaves, I meant. Fucking badgers.
Nom de Plume said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:18
What a mystery that he couldn’t find anybody to go out with him.
Judging from his picture (assuming it’s relatively recent), the guy was fairly presentable and fit for his age. He must have had some truly horrifying personality issues (well, duh) to have repelled all women for 20 years.
Jacob Singer said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:21
Man, I do a few chores, go grocery shopping, and come back to find a new thread with almost 200 posts already.
And cake!
Sheesh, let a guy fix a drink and unwind a sec, ok?
commie atheist said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:21
Amanda Marcotte on the shooter:
We’re going to write him off as crazy. But the thing is that “crazy” doesn’t mean completely detached from the world, at least most of the time. Sodini wasn’t one of those people who is so wrapped up in their delusions that they can’t hold a job and need to be kept in an institution. In fact, what’s disturbing about his diary entries is that they sound pretty much like the same ranting you get from every misogynist who thinks he’s a Nice Guy®, and who hates women for their perceived malicious unwillingness to have sex with him.
http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/these_crimes_dont_happen_in_a_vacuum/
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:23
Tommm:
here’s a better version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjMiDZIY1bM
Tommmcatt said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:25
Heh. I love that song.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:25
He got a raise and promotion @ the end of June, was worth $250k (so he said) and … I just don’t get it, probably because I’m not a sociopath.* He never talked about women as human beings. They were all “hoes.” Read it here, if you want a glimpse into the all-too-banal mind of a cowardly shitheel who couldn’t get laid to save his life.
*As far as I know.
The Converted Waff said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:27
The Democrats will realize that after they dodge our faeces at their town halls, and they dodge our impotent rage, and our turds too, did I metion the turds and that we will fake this country *aaaak*.
Brandi said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:29
All that and I didn’t even know President Obama had a regular cake. I thought he just did the cupcake thing with Helen Thomas (which I thought was very sweet).
The Convertible Grave said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:31
The government ican’t even run a Cash for Clunkers program! No sir!
PeeJ said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:34
But Brandi! The blackity black Kenyan was puttin the make on Helen! It proves Sodini’s point, “Black dudes have thier choice of best white.”
El Cid said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:36
I am opposed to having a tyrannical federal Sari-law Muslim Kenyan led bureaucracy take over our health care system with Stalin efficiency. It also may affect my Medicare.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:45
I’m wagering there was probably some other impetus other than not getting his knob stroked.
Agreed. Bummer and all, but there are plenty of not-getting-laid guys who don’t hose down gyms with hot lead.
PeeJ said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:48
hose down gyms with hot lead.
That very nearly describes some guys I know getting laid.
The Conservative Wave, Germany 1923 said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:49
The Weimar Constitution is dead. The Social Democrats will realize that after they see our faces at their bierhalls, and our anger, and our power and that we will take this country back.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:50
That very nearly describes some guys I know getting laid.
So you see? That reinforces my point!
Tommmcatt said,
August 6, 2009 at 1:57
plenty of not-getting-laid guys who don’t hose down gyms with hot lead.
Me, for example.
Gym said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:01
Looks like I’m still not gettin’ any.
commie atheist said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:06
I thought the Teabag Parties on April 15 were supposed to change everything? I even bookmarked it.
commie atheist said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:12
Well, obviously, simply not getting laid does not normally lead to murderous rampages. There was something else going on inside that fucked-up brain of Sodini’s. But how do you respond to something like this (which was not, apparently, said in snark)?
His last girlfriend was around twenty years ago. After twenty years of rejection by women, he finally had the courage to take his revenge by shooting at members of the sex who rejected him and made him feel like a loser.
http://www.halfsigma.com/2009/08/finally-a-gunman-with-an-interesting-story.html
Oh, and being a computer programmer had something to do with it, too. What a fucking asshole.
Djur said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:26
For some reason I feel this overwhelming urge to whack it to Dave Sim. Osmosis, I guess.
g said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:28
he finally had the courage to take his revenge by shooting
Courage? to walk into a room and shoot innocent people you’ve never met to death, by surprise?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:31
UNARMED people, g. It’s what the nutters are best at.
Djur said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:32
And what the fuck is this computer programmer shit? I’m a computer programmer, I have big thick glasses and acne, I’ve got the kind of build teh Sadlys would photoshop a sandwich onto, I read comic books and play video games, I play fucking Dungeons and Dragons, and I have no trouble getting laid.
Some of it might be luck, but I sort of suspect a lot of it has to do with being a friendly person with the occasional interesting thing to talk about. Oh, and maybe treating women like human beings who I want to get to know on their own merits, rather than as prizes to be won and used. But what the fuck do I know?
commie atheist said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:33
Courage? to walk into a room and shoot innocent people you’ve never met to death, by surprise?
Yeah, great choice of words. The turd tries to counter the predictable outrage by quoting the dictionary definition of “courage.” Fuckhead.
alec said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:35
You have to start dropping more negs or you’ll bag too few 9.5s and your fucking-point average will slip, and you will never make it into the honor roll.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:36
This guy was just a loser Beta male, like most libs are) who didn’t know how to play the game. Hey should have asked an Alpha like me.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:37
But what the fuck do I know?
Quite a lot, from the sound of it.
I too am a programmer, and do not want for teh sex (though, being married, it’s a different, er, ballgame, I guess). The sexual-loser programmer stereotype annoys the hell out of me, but it’s never caused me any trouble with anyone who mattered.
Oh, and maybe treating women like human beings who I want to get to know on their own merits, rather than as prizes to be won and used.
That’s the part that wingnuts can never understand, even the female ones.
Djur said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:37
OK, sorry to fuck a dead horse, but fuck these asocial little pricks, seriously. I hate them so much. They make the rest of us look bad. And they’re numerous enough that I regularly have to downplay my career when talking with new people or else deal with them thinking I have good odds of being a rude, arrogant, demanding, entitled little pisshole with a blog called “LIFE IN THE BUSH OF WORTHLESS WHORES” or whatever. And, of course, they defend their asshole selves by saying something about Asperger’s or living a pure life of the mind, which has got to suck for decent human beings with autistic spectrum disorders, to get bundled in with these disgusting shits.
El Cid said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:38
Do you have a hot stripper wife too, like that guy who was here with all the secret CIA contacts?
alec said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:39
For the record, here is Kris Straub’s seminal Huntyr Chase: Pick-Up Artist:
http://www.chainsawsuit.com/20090629.shtml
Although the next one, here, works as well as the entire series.
Djur said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:39
Hey, baby. Those are nice boots — for a five-buck streetwalker. Can I get you a drink? Is that your friend over there? Does she put out? You two ever get nasty?
alec said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:41
No, whoops: this one.
Euripides said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:42
That reminds me Djur, any further on the bike thing? (apologies if I’ve got you mixed up with someone else)
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:44
fuck these asocial little pricks, seriously. I hate them so much. They make the rest of us look bad. [...] I regularly have to downplay my career when talking with new people…
Can’t disagree. I often use the title “researcher” rather than “programmer” these days because of that. It’s also true, and lacks the stigma – I don’t have the energy or inclination to Take Back the programmer title from the loser wanksticks.
itwasntme said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:47
I think the cake is pretty. Needs sparklers for candles, tho.
Nom de Plume said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:49
UNARMED people, g. It’s what the nutters are best at.
Perhaps, though I’m not quite prepared to believe that the winger proposal to arm everybody at all times would totally cut down on random shootings and gun violence either.
I think the best solution is for repressed and delusional conservatives to stop fucking killing people just because they’re all mad and shit.
Tommmcatt said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:52
Don’t most “alpha” males know how to use parenthesis? Or is total ignorance of punctuation use one of the distinguishing features of an “alpha”?
Or, as we have evolved beyond a simple pack mentality, is the concept of a human “alpha” just something arrogant losers have invented to comfort themselves after they reap the bitter rewards that await someone whose bloated ego tells them it’s okay to be an asshole to everyone around them?
My money is on #3.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:55
I think the best solution is for repressed and delusional conservatives to stop fucking killing people just because they’re all mad and shit.
That would be taking away their freedom to kill people just because they’re all mad and shit, which is enshrined in the 2nd and only amendment.
Djur said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:01
Euripides, that was me, yes. I’m actually going to pick up the bike tomorrow — work, transportation issues, and then a ludicrous heat wave interfered in the interim. Everything associated with it is going quite well, if that’s what you were wondering about.
Xecky, I myself know a guy who does the ‘researcher’ thing, actually. I’m not grizzled enough to pull it off yet.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:03
I think the best solution is for repressed and delusional conservatives to stop fucking killing people just because they’re all mad and shit.
perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, but it seems to me that a good path to this goal would be Universal Health Care that includes psych treatment as a matter of course.
Which may be a good clue to why the Repubs are so dead set against it. It would thin out the base, once the rage issues are defused.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:04
They would still go after unarmed venues: churches, hospitals, orgies….
alec said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:04
1) ‘Alpha’ and ‘beta’ and etc. are Ladder Theory shibboleths. Look it up. You won’t be disappointed.
2) The funny thing is that while to some extent humans do have dominance hierarchies, our view of such hierarchies is informed by a remarkably fascist view of animal hierarchies, i.e. lions, dogs, etc. In the popular view, dominance is a consequence of being bigger, faster, stronger, and sexier; in reality, they don’t correlate even among animals, and in small human societies they have little correlation at all. Big men aren’t usually particularly big – they’re handsome, yes, but also charismatic and good at settling disputes and peacably convincing people of things.
Further, contrary to the belief in ‘alphas’ or ‘betas’ or whatever, dominance hierarchies are situational. In some species, certain hierarchies arise as a natural result of harem sexuality (elephant seals, for instance), and as such someone with the right genes is born likely to be what we think of as an alpha; in social species (including humans and any species humans could successfully domesticate), dominance is a result of connections, networking, and finesse.
Further, just look at the one place where dominance hierarchies are actually supposed to work: the military. It isn’t the mark of a good officer to get constantly defensive about their authority, demand deference as a matter of course rather than necessity, and generally mount the fucking furniture. They are saluted first and obeyed within reason because their position indicates they know what they’re doing, and if they give indications to the contrary obedience becomes trickier.
Of course, if you want to be Field Marshal of Butt Fucking, that’s ultimately your call, but bear in mind most vanilla adult relationships don’t even work that way, let alone the surreal authoritarian stereotype that ladder-theory promotes.
3) All that in mind, I’d like if ‘pack mentality’ hadn’t been corrupted to mean what it means. Dogs and wolves care for their wounded and collectively clean and watch new litters. More than you can say for these dipshits.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:04
I’m not grizzled enough to pull it off yet.
I’m not especially grizzled, unless I misunderstand the term – I just work in an academic department supporting research. Appearancewise I’m a baby-faced early 40s guy; if I shave on Sunday I don’t get a 5 o’clock shadow until Tuesday.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:05
Oh, living hell. That would make a LOT more sense if I had quoted this first:
Perhaps, though I’m not quite prepared to believe that the winger proposal to arm everybody at all times would totally cut down on random shootings and gun violence either.
Long, long week.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:08
Dogs and wolves care for their wounded and collectively clean and watch new litters. More than you can say for these dipshits.
They also don’t shit in their den.
the rest of what you said was pretty interesting, too.
One of the things I’ve noticed is that many times, real leaders don’t need to flaunt it, don’t need constant stroking.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:12
Mental “health” being covered under sociali2d medicene would just be an excuse for hypochondriacs and cranks to suck taxpayers money out of the national treasury.
The Conservative Wave said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:24
I used to be able to suck my own dick, but now that I’m too fat to do it any more, I have a sad.
PeeJ said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:31
Djur, the current formulation is, I believe, “when you gonna let me tap that?”
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:34
Heh. Mental health badgers.
Speaking of rage and impotence issues.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:34
I hate niggers, coons, spics, kikes, slant-eyed chinks, faggots, and bitches.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:37
I hate niggers, coons, spics, kikes, slant-eyed chinks, faggots, and bitches.
But the worst of all are nym-stealers. Those punks.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:39
I hate niggers, coons, spics, kikes, slant-eyed chinks, faggots, and bitches.
Yeah, it’s just them admitting they have no argument, and are starting to quake with rage before the curl up in the fetal position, sniff their own farts, and LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
Dance for me, troofie! DANCE! SUCK IT!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:40
You’re just doing this because your side lost AGAIN, huh, troofus?
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:42
Oops, sorry. Forgot to saint myself for interacting with the impotent beta.
Euripides said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:47
In Homage to Catalunia, George Orwell describes fighting in an army unit where the hierarchy was elected by the members and he was impressed by how well it worked, as opposed to his earlier experiences with the British Army. After all, if someone has to be in charge, and if you’re risking your life, you want someone you trust in that position.
If you look at a lot of hierarchies in other animals, it seems that it is a meritocracy at work, which all this alpha/beta crap constantly forgets to mention.
Anthony said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:48
How can a hypochondriac fraudulently suck money out of a mental health system if hypochondriasis is a mental illness and involves fixation on physical ailments, so wouldn’t they suck money out of it anyway.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
August 6, 2009 at 3:58
One of the things I’ve noticed is that many times, real leaders don’t need to flaunt it, don’t need constant stroking.
I played a lot of team sports (a while ago, mind you) and the one thing a I remember about the people who were the “leaders” or “alphas”, was their attitude that the last thing they wanted to be was in that position. They took on the responsibility because it came to them, not because they sought it out. And they were respected for taking on the responsibility. The worst types were those that wanted it, badly. Those were the ones that needed constant stroking.
And the same has been my experience in work. As one wise old boss of mine said, “Anyone who wants to be in management is not qualified for the job.”
SomeNYGuy said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:02
Mine head. She have explode.
seldom-seen smith said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:12
Conversely, I’m a computer programmer who’s totally normal looking, I go to the gym every day and look like I do, couldn’t tell you the first thing about Star Trek, etc. and haven’t gotten laid in years. Of course Amanda Marcotte would say it’s because I’m a choad and a closet misogynist — if you’re not getting laid it’s because you’re a Nice Guy (TM) etc etc. Whether that’s true or not (I don’t buy it, not that I have a better theory (*)), clearly my chosen profession and nerdliness or non-nerdliness has nothing to do with it.
You know, I think programming encourages a certain mindset where you think you can control everything, thus there must be a bug in Woman.exe. It clearly couldn’t be that the universe just doesn’t want you to get laid and that’s not anyone’s fault. I guess I’m not that arrogant despite all my other flaws. I have no problem envisioning “SELDOM_SEEN_SEX_FREQUENCY = 0.0″ hardcoded into some galactic config file I can’t quite get to.
I generally call myself an entrepreneur, or I “help run a website”. I quit trying to explain to strangers/acquaintances what ADD is all about a long time ago. It was hard enough before Doucheberger’s came into vogue as a sort of get-out-of-assholishness-free card.
(*) to steal a phrase from AA, My Best Thinking Got Me Here…
Anthony said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:13
Well don’t expect Obamacare to cover it.
seldom-seen smith said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:14
Could God create a pre-existing condition so heinous even His own health care plan wouldn’t cover it?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:15
there must be a bug in Woman.exe…
There’s your problem – get a Mac!
(sorry, couldn’t resist)
FWIW, I think you’re right about the control-freakishness of the asshole programmers.
pedestrian said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:18
If mental health is covered by a national health care system, who will be left to vote Republican?
pedestrian said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:25
Of course, if you want to be Field Marshal of Butt Fucking, that’s ultimately your call, but bear in mind most vanilla adult relationships don’t even work that way, let alone the surreal authoritarian stereotype that ladder-theory promotes.
You lost me there.
alec said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:36
Buddy, if you have to surrender your baton to the Soviet Union when your Romanian flanks crumble, you are in what we in the business call a non-starter.
You know who else surrendered his baton to the Soviet Union? said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:46
“Buddy, if you have to surrender your baton to the Soviet Union when your Romanian flanks crumble, you are in what we in the business call a non-starter.”
Oooh. You naughty boy. Keep talking like that and I’m going to invade Poland.
Egil Woxholt said,
August 6, 2009 at 4:51
Your friend and mine, commenting on Roissy in DC
The truth
Aoef. I see that so many times, it’s not funny. Guys will disappear once they get in an LTR. They are all betas. Those relationships never last.
Nom de Plume said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:01
Lordy, after I’ve gone to all this trouble to block the nonsense of the troll thingy (which has been an inestimable gift, btw), it actually goes to the bother of adopting someone else’s nym in order to get past my carefully set up defenses. Should I feel honored?
Dude, whoever you are, your presence in a thread where we’re discussing a desperate, lonely, sociopathic virgin is ironic on levels that you’re simply not equipped to deal with at this time. My best advice to you is to bail.
PeeJ said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:20
Of course, if you want to be Field Marshal of Butt Fucking,…
Oooh! Oooh! Me! Me! Pick me! Pick me!
Fuck. Just like in high school, I never get picked for anything. Except abuse.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:21
a desperate, lonely, sociopathic virgin
Well, the dude wasn’t ~technically~ a virgin but after 20 years, meh. He didn’t choose to be a born-again virgin, but every woman he met chose it for him. Again, much like our troll.
PeeJ said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:26
This just in…..
Dateline Anne Coulter Zone….
Huh? What planet is that mandroid from, anyway?
But wait…There’s more!….
Now the big question: Was Joe Biden born on this planet?
Anne Coulter: urtroll.
Djur said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:32
I’d really like to see if you can provide a quote from Amanda where she says something like that. I think that’s an extremely unfair thing to say about her.
Nom de Plume said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:38
maybe the mainstream media can stop acting as if it’s a creation of the Republican National Committee.
I’m genuinely curious as to why they simply refuse to take responsibility for anything they do. I briefly entertained the idea that it might be a stab of conscience, but I quickly dismissed that as unlikely.
So if it’s not shame, what is it? Political calculation? They’ve been horribly inept at that lately. There’s gotta be some reason why they won’t accept responsibility for anything they do. I’ve exhausted all the options. What can it be?
N__B said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:47
Forgot to saint myself for interacting with the impotent beta.
It must be your lib rage resulting from, you know, having human relationships.
Interrobang said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:51
Fuck assholes who think that women exist to do what they want, and fuck the culture that taught it to them. And as the house Humourless Feminist™, a swift kick in the collaborating ass to the tools of the patriarchy and go-along-to-get-along dudebros who don’t shut these dickwads down at every possible opportunity and then some.
On a lighter note, cardboard cutouts really do try too hard.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:51
Routine?
Once you get into that rut of constantly denying you had anything to do with anything, and besides, anyone knows it’s always a leftist plot somewhere to get you, you stay with it.
Clam Afterbirth said,
August 6, 2009 at 5:59
I digs me some coclit kake but i likes me some wite biches.
I feel better now.
Clam Afterbirth said,
August 6, 2009 at 6:20
Speaking of watermelon, when I was at art school, I was known as something of a male fag-hag. Head start, because I grew up among artists, and we all know art = queer. So I wasn’t all uptight and asking myself “is Depeche Mode a bunch of homos, or can I listen to their music?” Props to me.
The great test of my open-mindedness came when, foir a birthday celebration, I got plastered with a couple of gentlemen supportive of le style Grec, if you will; one of them was what they now call “bi/curious,” but back in the day it was called “do you think he’s a fag?” There wasn’t much question, except in his feverish, bourbon-soaked mind. We reeled back to the confirmed homosexual’s room to smoke some hashish, which we used to call “hashish.” There was a crackling sexual energy in the air. I felt it, but was not concerned. I knew where I stood; our host knew where he stood, when he wasn’t kneeling. The question was, where did our ambivalent companion stand? Soon, he must discover the truth.
And tonight was the night, that night.
The tension kept getting more and more funky, the atmosphere ozone-charged like a guitar amplifier somebody just knocked a bottled water into (this was before the days of bottled water, so it would have been a beer, I guess, but it’s just a fucking analogy, cut me some slack.)
It was all too much for me. I passed out. I really did. This wasn’t one of those “I was soooo drunk last night I don’t even remember what happened… how come my asshole is leaking” type situations. I passed completely the fuck out, on the floor, in a pile of reeking laundry.
And regained consciousness probably three hours later. It was dark, and there was only a rustling sound. The groan of pre-hangover agony died on my lips as I heard muffled whispering from somewhere above and to my right: the bed. My ears became preternaturally sharp. I could hear every sound. Trousers were coming down, the whisper of leg hairs against acid-washed denim.
And then a long, fleshy silence. Then the shifting of weight, as of two people assuming positions unknown in the darkness. I heard, then, the words I will never forget in this lifetime:
“It’s counterintuitive, but you have to push.”
Then there was a grunt of mingled discomfort and relief, and a stifled cry of pain, and for the next forty goddamn minutes I was stuck on that pile of laundry, listening to a fellow getting buggered senseless.
And do you know what? I learned two things that night. First, I wasn’t quite as loosey-goosey as I thought; it wasn’t so much that two dudes were flying the jolly roger next to my head, as that anybody was doin’ it next to my head, other than me. I had to pretend to be asleep for what seemed like three weeks before they passed out themselves and I slipped out of the room.
The second lesson I learned? Birthday cake doesn’t mean a fucking thing.
pedestrian said,
August 6, 2009 at 6:40
“It’s counterintuitive, but you have to push.”
I’m an aspiring Field Marshal of Butt Fucking and I had to think for awhile before I figured this one out.
Anyway, I’d love to feel sorry for you, but you really really should have seen that one coming.
Substance McGravitas said,
August 6, 2009 at 6:46
80 minutes ago my absurd marbled salamander died. He got run over by an airplane. He was depraved and well-intentioned.
g said,
August 6, 2009 at 6:51
Just saw a video of Dick Morris on Fox saying the two journalists from Current TV should “face the consequences” of their actions, by serving 12 years hard labor in North Korea.
What’s the sentence in N. Korea for patronizing a prostitute and sucking her toes?
jim said,
August 6, 2009 at 7:21
Let’s see.
So far, in response to getting resoundingly boot-fucked the last time they ran for election, this is what the Goopers have come up with: joyfully embracing every idiotic policy that they just got trashed over, worrying that they’re not extremist enough after the most nutbar-fringe ultra-right administration in US history, the dope freestylings of MC Michael Steele, numberless budgets, Teh Party Of NO, waving teabags around & tarting themselves up like Paul Revere, Orly “TimeCube’s Ugly Love-Child” Taitz & Birtherism FOREVAR … & howling like infants with diaper-rash at every town-hall metting they can get to while pretending for dear life that a public healthcare option will erect mandatory Auschwitzes for everyone’s grandmas (& I just know I left out a massive pile of shit much, MUCH stupider than anything I listed).
Now they’re all the way down to slagging Obama’s birthday cake?
I almost feel bad for all the sweet sweet lulz such folly spawns – the phrase “don’t make fun of the mentally-challenged” seems more apropos by the day.
“Next on Morning Joe: the terrifying truth behind Obama’s ongoing refusal to put the toilet-seat down & how by 2011 it will DESTROY AMERICA AS WE KNOW IT … right after this important message from Blue Cross!”
justme said,
August 6, 2009 at 7:41
Scuse mah finGAHs
Smut Clyde said,
August 6, 2009 at 9:05
enshrined in the 2nd and only amendment.
Scuse mah COLD DEAD finGAHs
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 6, 2009 at 15:46
Scuse mah COLD DEAD finGAHs
careful…..
tigrismus said,
August 6, 2009 at 16:16
If mental health is covered by a national health care system, who will be left to vote Republican?
Man, I have been thinking this for days. This has got to be why they’re against it, pure tribe preservation.
actor212 said,
August 6, 2009 at 16:24
The Conservative Wave said,
August 6, 2009 at 2:36
Hey should have asked an
Alphaasshole like me.Fixed!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 6, 2009 at 18:38
It must be your lib rage resulting from, you know, having human relationships.
You’re right. I think I’ll stay home today with all the curtains drawn and, you know, clean my 12-gauge.
tigrismus said,
August 6, 2009 at 19:00
I’ll stay home today with all the curtains drawn and, you know, clean my 12-gauge.
So is that what the kids are calling it &c.
Doug Watts said,
August 7, 2009 at 6:14
Ohh .. gee … there’s a surprise … another Tintin toilet photoshop joke.
Get another schtick. You are wrecking this website.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 7, 2009 at 6:46
O, get a grip, Mary.