Can Irony Survive the Merciless Onslaught That is Hugh Hewitt?

From Hugh Hewitt’s chat today in the Washington Post* (my emphasis):

hughshirt.jpg

Seattle, Wash.: How do you think the effects of the new media–aka blogs will play out with the more established media–aka MSM in the future?? And how will it benefit or hurt conservatives??

Don’t you love it that wingnuts–aka Hugh’s audience can write grammatically jumbled sentences and still think they’re qualified to replace the MSM–aka real reporters in the future?? Anyway, why don’t we read Hugh’s response??

Hugh Hewitt: Thelefty blogs are like lead pipes, posioning the information they serve up to the Democrats. Just this morning Kos was touting the Democratic candidate running against J.D. Hayworth in Arizona’s 5th. I hoep that the KosKids run off and contribute a bunch of their limited resources to a doomed candidate, just as they did in California’s 50th.

On the other hand, sine the center-right blogs are both better written, better argued, and funnier –and avoid the vulgarity and profanity that dominate so many of the lefty blogs— they are copper pipes and are significant assists to the GOP in every cycle.

I know you’ll be shocked, but I’ve found some, shall we say, flaws in Hugh’s thinking.

[Gavin adds: Hugh Huwett’s “argument” is AD hominim strawman it is rediculous on it’s face……. PRIMA FASCIE…….what a moran he has no leg’s to stand on…BWAHAHAHAHAHA]

For one thing, I don’t see how Hugh can claim that right-wing blogs are better written than lefty blogs, epsecially sine his own post is ripe withspelling errors and grammatical mistake’s.

Also, I think we should test Mr. Hewitt’s assertion that righty blogs “avoid the vulgarity and profanity that dominate many of thelefty blogs,” by checking out what the enlightened sophisticates at the Glenn Reynolds-approved Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler are writing about today

There’s not a single one of the so-called “conservatives� in this country that have the guts to lift a fucking finger for you if you’re anti-social enough to believe that you have a right to think differently. They’ll cower in the shadows while the thought police and the media fill the airwaves with Newspeak and condemn you in any way imaginable.

Because they’re a bunch of friggin’, sniveling, lousy coward fucks who’d rather surrender the principles that they keep getting elected on a thousand times than risk being sneered at by a leftist.

I. Wouldn’t. PISS. On. Those. Gutless. Pussies. If. Their. Scrotums. Were. On. Fire.

Now that’s what I call civilized discourse!

Now, I’m perfectly willing to admit that we at Sadly, No! aren’t exactly the paragons of cordial conversation (and to say otherwise makes you a cum-gargling ass-fuck monster twat). But to assert, as Hewitt does, that only left-wingers’ poo doth stink is just a bunch of… uhm… poo.

Maybe Hugh has a point about lefty bloggers not being able to write after all…

*And incidentally, why the hell is the Washington Post giving Hugh Hewitt- a man who has frequently accused their reporters of being liars and partisan shills- free space to vent his crackpot ideas? Have they really fallen this far?

 

Comments: 76

 
 
 

Yes, what could be more informative and enlightening than Jeff Goldstein threating to chubslap liberal bloggers and accusing them of wanting oral sex from his dog? That’s gotta be a huge asset to the GOP.

 
 

On the other hand, sine the center-right blogs are both better written, better argued, and funnier –and avoid the vulgarity and profanity that dominate so many of thelefty blogs–

Oh, they are SO not. Stop lying, already. Just STOP.
The righty blogs are the exact opposite…poorly and stylelessly written, confusing sophistry with logic and reason, woefully humourless, and hiding all kinds of real vulgarity such as racism, genocide, selfishness and greed beneath a veneer of civil language.

Eat it, Hugh, you lying big-nippled cretin.

 
 

Hugh needs some exposure to some real conservative humor.

 
 

Kos has endorsed around 20 candidates, and every single one has lost.

When it gets to be around 0 for 20, it’s no longer a coincidence.

The fact is that Conservative blogs are more useful.

First off, Conservatives actually know how to discuss issues. Leftist Liberals have little pea-sized brains and are controlled by their own emotions.

Second, Conservatives provide a beacon of light against the typical extreme leftist MSM.

The Liberals are victims of cognitive dissonence.

The left thinks that liberalism wins elections, but in fact, it doesn’t, so they think that the reason why they lose is because they are not liberal enough.

 
 

Oh, sweet sweet Gary, we’re only controlled by love for your posts. Now, whisper more examples of cognitive dissonance in our ears.

 
 

How is that Cheney/Coulter ’08 ticket coming, Gary?

WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU

 
 

Hewitt is also right when it comes to that race in Arizona.

You see, the Democrat Party will lose seats in both houses in November, causing the party to fall apart.

When the Democrats fail in November, Howard Dean will be replaced.

Howard Dean will then urge his followers to leave the Democrat Party.

Here are several reasons why the Democrats will lose big in November

#1 – They support illegal immigration. The Democrat Party’s obstruction of immigration reform will ensure that bands of terrorists will continue to come into this country unabated, though Mexico.

#2 – They’re corrupt. The Democrat Party has members like Bill Jefferson (who sent the national guard to check on his house), Alan Mollohan (who got rich off of insider trading), Cynthia McKinney (who is a racist), and Nancy Pelosi (who is more corrupt than Tom DeLay could ever dream of being). The Democrat Party’s “culture of corruption” line is laughable, because the only party with a culture of corruption is the Democrat Party.

#3 – They have no ideas. The Democrat Party only offers loud screaming and they refuse to present ideas. They refuse to present ideas to save social security. They refuse to come out and tell the truth, that they are lefists.

The fact is that I have been proven right on that.

Francine Busby only improved her showing in CA-50 from 38% to 44%, after the incumbent Congressman resigned. The fact is that there is no enthusiasm for the Democrat Party.

Let’s face it, America knows that if Nancy Pelosi becomes Speaker, she will force her extreme San Francisco agenda on America.

 
 

Slogan for Republican candidates in ’06 and ’08:

“Elect us and we’ll destroy everything we touch, but at least our bloggers won’t say ‘fuck.'”

 
 

Ruppert, that “Democrat Party” thing is
so 1994.

 
 

Slogan for Republican candidates in ’06 and ’08:

“Keep America Rolling”

Let’s face it, the economy is at it’s best since the 1980s.

We’re making progress against terrorists.

There’s no reason to not expect the GOP to win easily in 2006.

 
 

Tee hee hee! Those are great, thanks! As for the motto, I hope that the Republicans continue to be run as well as the company that used it a couple years ago.

 
 

The Republicans have helped make the Government the most efficient it has ever been since the 1920s.

They’re doing a very good job.

 
 

actually the “democrat Party” is an old bircher saying

 
 

the republicans are running on the massive corruption and pedophelia planks

 
 

Democrat Party is a saying that has been around since the 1950s.

“the republicans are running on the massive corruption and pedophelia planks”

The party which endorses homosexuality shouldn’t talk about how pedophila is bad. The fact is that the Republican Party is the only major party with values.

 
 

also they plan to run on inept foreign policy, along with xenophobia and homophobia

 
 

The liberals are also planming on flouridating the water

 
 

the John Birch society started in the 1950s
erego
you’re incorporating the lnahguage of the extreist unhinged right wing

 
 

since the 1920s.

Now, see, that lacks a certain subtlety.

 
 

The John Birch Society didn’t coin the phrase “Democrat Party” and they are not extremist either.

 
 

Let’s face it, the economy is at it’s best since the 1980s.

Oh, that’s just mean. Don’t spring that on someone without warning them – luckily, I was only drinking water when I read that.

Saying that the economy is “at it’s[sic] best since the 1980s”, even overlooking how untrue that is, is the economic equivalent of “other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

Gee, why can’t we have an economy like the 80s? I’d love to have a prime rate of 20%, an unemployment rate that struggled to stay below 6%, and an absolutely charming rate of inflation.

Oh, and does anyone remember what FSLIC stands for? There’s a prize if you do!

Okay, ‘fess up – who’s been putting the rat poison in Gary’s crack? It’s just plain rotten to do that.

 
 

Why Gary, why? Why do you bother? You’re not funny. Has it somehow escaped you that humor is a large component of both the postings and other comments here? You’re not very clever. You just toss out non-sequiter grenades hoping to get any kind of reaction. You’re like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie.

And finally, sadly, you’re just not very bright. You’re depressing, really. Can’t you go haunt some other blog?

 
 

Cheney/Coulter ’08: Keep America Rolling

YOU ARE A GENIUS. Seriously Gary, we have to make this happen.

 
 

Cheney/Bolton would be a better ticket.

And the late 1980s had a phenominal economy

 
 

Gary, can you sing? Maybe dance a little?

The last troll could…

And it would be a LOT COOLER IF YOU DID!

 
 

And the late 1980s had a phenominal economy

You know, Gary, we all came out to Montreux, on the Lake Geneva shoreline. We were going to make some records with a mobile, Gary, but honestly, the fact was that we didn’t have much time.

I think most here would agree that Frank Zappa and the Mothers were at the best place around.

But then something happened next, and I think you know what I’m talking about.

 
 

Wow, Gary I don\’t care what the others say, your posts provide me with the humor I need to sustain me in this boring pointless job.

At first I thought you were joking or being sarcastic but now that I realize that you really are that dull, and it\’s now even funnier.

Please, let\’s hear more about how Iraq/Iran/Liberals are just as destestable as Hitler and a threat comparable to nazi germany.

Now you\’re telling me that the economy is super duper even though congress just voted to push the debt ceiling to, what 9 trillion worth of loans to China? What\’s that you say Gary? America\’s manufacturing job numbers are skyrocketing and all it took was to get Bush to reclassify burger flipping service jobs as manufacturing? How good can it get?

Keep em comin buddy, don\’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren\’t funny, as long as they don\’t mean intentionally.

 
 

Ok I don\’t know what the fuck all those slashes are about, I think it\’s the proxy I\’m using to bypass the filters at work. Sorry.

 
 

“And the late 1980s had a phenominal economy”

Yeah, remember when George Bush had to raise taxes?

Mmmm, good times, good times….

 
 

For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, here’s Nancy Pelosi’s San Francisco agenda:

Free sourdough bread and It’s Its for everyone!

 
 

Let’s see FSLIC… something about bailouts, Charles Keating…Savings & Loan..I don’t know, I give up don’t think I know what FSLIC could be. But, I seem to recall it was a pretty big deal. Huh. In the 80’s you say? But the 80’s was Utopia!

 
 

’87 stock market crash. Can’t forget that.

 
 

What always make me chuckle is when Hootin’ Hughie describes himself and his basement buddies as “center-right”. I’m sure he does that 80s ironic “air quotes” thing with his fingers when he says it.

I’m still waiting for the Sadly, No! Review of Books to browse his latest cut ‘n’ paste job, Painting My Pants Brown, by the way.

 
 

What a treasure Gary is. When you hold him up to your ear, you can hear the ocean.

When the “troubles” come to an end, and you guys pursue De-Ba’athific…er…De-Republicanisation of the US government and society, gulag Gary someplace nice.

 
 

Wow . . . I just realized that our Troll du Jour posted seven times in this thread in an hour. Now, while I’m sure that Gary doesn’t have much of a personal life (trolls seldom do), I’ve gotta ask; is someone here pretending to be Gary? Come on, fess up. Whoever you are, you’ve captured his style perfectly.

I mean, calling the Dreaded “Emm-Ess-Emm” radical, then turning around (within an hour, mind you) and claiming that the John Birch society is NOT radical? That’s art.

 
 

“The Democrat Party’s obstruction of immigration reform will ensure that bands of terrorists will continue to come into this country unabated, though Mexico.”

Banditos??? Ay carumba!!!

 
 

Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!

What exactly is efficient about this government? How efficiently it blew three trillion past what it collected from me and all us other citizens in only 5 years?

Three trillion. That is three million million. Above the intake mind you. Not total spending. $3,000,000,000,000 in spending above and beyond what they wasted all our tax dollars on. In five years.

Nice.

Keep going Gary. I am your biggest fan because I happen to be one of those pathetic wretches that likes shooting fish in a barrel.

 
 

He’s right about JD Hayworth and Harry Mitchell. AZ is a highly conservative state with tough immigration reform of the front burner. Hayworth will win hands down, hmmm, unless he was accused of having a hispanic illegal immigrant girlfriend. EXCELLENT, Smithers

 
 

First off, Conservatives actually know how to discuss issues. Leftist Liberals have little pea-sized brains and are controlled by their own emotions.

The party which endorses homosexuality shouldn’t talk about how pedophila is bad.

Meanwhile, apparently, right wingers are controlled by James Dobson’s and Pat Buchanan’s emotions. Clearly an improvement.

BTW, if we save up enough of Gary’s comments, can we trade them in for a better troll? I hear good things about that Floyd Alvis Cooper guy.

 
 

Gary is a troll deluxe at Eschaton, and must have been banned there, because he’s spending an awful lot of time here. You would think if you were the kind of guy who had Jesus as a best friend that you would be a little less smug and condescending. But not Gary. He’s a “Christianist,” someone who has fused Christianity and Republicanism into a mindnumbingly simple, retarded worldview.

You can bet the guy hasn’t been within a mile of some poonani in a very, very long time, if ever.

 
 

Notice how Gary’s Friday night is devoted to trolling Sadly, No!

 
melior (in Austin)
 

I pray it isn’t true (but some people say) that it was Gary Ruppert whom Ben Domonech stole all his best lines from.

Do you think when he gets to be sixteen the WaPo will let Gary fill those big Red State shoes?

 
 

“AZ is very conservative”

tell it to Napolitano. you, know, the governor? Of Arizona? moderate-left democrat?

douche.

bag.

also, reagan raised taxes in 1983, 84 and 85.

douche.

baguettes.

the thing is, objectively, conservatism isn’t funny. how many years to you have to answer “p.j. o’rourke, dude, in your face” before it becomes old? no. sense. of. humor. none.

and i think gary is paid to do what he does by some kind of sick think-tank.

 
 

Napolitano will lose due to her soft stance on illegal aliens.

The fact of the matter is that the Democrat Party is a party with a terminal illness and they will be sent into the dustbin of history soon.

 
 

Republican rivals.

“Napolitano—a Democrat—has acted as Arizona’s governor since January 2003. The former state attorney general defeated Republican Matt Salmon in the November 2002 election by just over 20,000 ballots.

Napolitano holds a 22-point advantage over GOP activist Don Goldwater, and a 28-point edge over retired judge Jan Florez. Former head of the Center for Arizona Policy Len Munsil and Scottsdale businessman Mike Harris are also seeking the Republican nomination. Former state Senate president John Greene withdrew from the race last month. The primary GOP will take place on Sept. 12.”

courtesy Ipsos-reid

 
 

Isn’t Gary a Sadly shill? Otherwise, why hang out on a blog he so reviles and is so loved in return?

 
 

i think gary is paid to do what he does by some kind of sick think-tank.

I think we’ll actually be seeing a lot more of this. Although Gary may just be a true-believer.

Over at FDL, Gavin’s breakout post was ‘countered’ by a Heritage Foundation operative. She was immediately ‘bagged, and deservedly so.

 
 

I hereby retract my statement from a previous comment that Gary isn’t as detatched from reality as the neo-Nazis of SadNo! yore. He clearly is, albeit in a differant way.

 
 

dustbin of history

Thank you Leon Trotsky.

 
 

Since Gary seems intent on bringing up illegal immigration, I think I’d better toss out this link to the Polling Report. It doesn’t bode well for the administration or the GOP. Even FOX viewers think the Dems are doing a better job on illegal immigration.

I should add one caveat. Though the polls lean in our favor overall, there’s some disturbing shit in there. Even the non-trolls should probably read it.

 
 

Saying that the economy is “at it’s[sic] best since the 1980s”, even overlooking how untrue that is, is the economic equivalent of “other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

Thats one of the funniest things I have ever read anywhere. I nearly lost the laptop from soda coming out the nose from that.

 
 

Slogan for Republican candidates in ’06 and ’08:

“Keep America Rolling”

Shouldn’t this be, “Keep America Roiling”?

 
 

Is this Ruppert fellow one of you guys in drag or did you hire him to be the court jester?

 
 

Every time Gary Ruppert says “in fact” or “the fact is,” I make sure not to have any liquid in my mouth before reading further.

 
 

“When it gets to be around 0 for 20, it’s no longer a coincidence.”

You are right. It becomes either a conspiracy, or a -very very funny- coincidence.

You just keep hating on Marcos and railing against the powerless. I hope it makes you feel better about your own powerlesness, HACK!

 
 

“Let’s face it, America knows that if Nancy Pelosi becomes Speaker, she will force her extreme San Francisco agenda on America.”

Yeah, those San Franciscans, what a bunch of warmongering authoritarian pricks.

 
 

SWRM seeks pubescent girls and boys for photos and watersports and buggery.

No fatties. Keep America Rolling!

 
 

If democrats were cleaner, they wouldn’t smell like poo so much.

 
 

The fact is that America will rise up in bloody revolution to destroy all the powerful leftist elements in this country, such as… hmmm….

Also, fuck hillary clinton.

 
 

The party which endorses homosexuality shouldn’t talk about how pedophila is bad. The fact is that the Republican Party is the only major party with values.

Yeah, I know it’s stupid to address a troll-comment as though it were something of actual substance, instead of the epistemological equivalent of breaking wind, but I just can’t help myself with this one.

Supposedly straight men who can’t tell the difference between homosexuality and pedophilia really, really scare me.

Because how can I be sure that they understand the difference between heterosexuality and pedophilia? Should I be scared if I see them near my prepubescent cousins?

 
 

Should I be scared if I see them near my prepubescent cousins?

Yes. Hell yes.

Gross
Old
Perverts

 
Corrado Bustamonte
 

Ah the 80’s…. The phenominal economy of Reaganomics, Junk Bonds, Deregulation, and S&L failures. All giving to the rise of cocaine fueled yuppie consumption.

 
 

I want to subscribe to the GaryWorld News Telegram. That paper really covers the world. The evil liberal MSM gets EVERYTHING wrong, but those hones, aggressive journalists in GaryWorld really get the facts everday…

Huh? I’m Sorry, What?

There is NO GaryWorld News Telegram? You say that Gary’s just channeling the high priest of steaming bullshit, the Rev. Rush DrudgeRocket Coulter? Dammit. Really wanted to read that paper. Never mind…

mikey

 
 

Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues
Bob Dylan

Well, I was feelin’ sad and feelin’ blue,
I didn’t know what in the world I was gonna do,
Them Communists they wus comin’ around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wouldn’t gimme no peace. . .

So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin’ down the road.
Yee-hoo, I’m a real John Bircher now!
Look out you Commies!

Now we all agree with Hitlers’ views,
Although he killed six million Jews.
It don’t matter too much that he was a Fascist,
At least you can’t say he was a Communist!
That’s to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

Well, I wus lookin’ everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
I got up in the mornin’ ‘n’ looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn’t find ’em . . .

I wus lookin’ high an’ low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin’ in the sink an’ underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .

Well, I wus sittin’ home alone an’ started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin’ right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
That ol’ Betty Ross . . .

Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of ’em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow Birchers . . . just like me.

Now Eisenhower, he’s a Russian spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there’s just one man
That’s really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.

Well, I fin’ly started thinkin’ straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn’t imagine doin’ anything else,
So now I’m sittin’ home investigatin’ myself!
Hope I don’t find out anything . . . hmm, great God!

 
 

Because how can I be sure that they understand the difference between heterosexuality and pedophilia? Should I be scared if I see them near my prepubescent cousins?

Absolutely. Conservatives are seething cauldrons of prurience and perversion. These people are obsessed with sex…and not just about, y’know…gettin’ it on. They are haunted and traumatised by all kinds of thoughts about homosexuality, anal sex, pedophilia, bestiality, sex toys, corprophilia…on, and on and on. They talk about it incessantly…it’s enough to make you puke! You can’t go to one conservative website where the topic isn’t about fucking, in one form or another.

Swing-sniffiing degenerates, all of them.

 
 

Because how can I be sure that they understand the difference between heterosexuality and pedophilia? Should I be scared if I see them near my prepubescent cousins?

Yes. Yes you should.
You should also, as they don’t grasp the whole “consent” concept, be alarmed if you see them near animals, the dysfuntionally mentally ill or disabled, the mute, the senile, their own children, the paraplegic, the intoxicated, the unconscious, houseplants, and anyone or anything else that is incapable of screaming “no” and running the hell away.

If they don’t understand that the difference between homosexuality and pedophilia is consent and victimization, then you cannot assume they believe consent without victimization to be at all important in a sexual (or any other) relationship.

 
 

houseplants

Hee! There’s an old Clive Barker story, in one of the Books of Blood, I forget the title, about a guy who is so insatiably horny that he fucks a brick wall. Doesn’t end too well for his wiener.

 
 

A guy was cought fucking a chain link fence in Toronto a few years ago…

 
 

Hey…he treated that fence like a queen!

 
 

I guess that’s the difference between us and them, because I’d piss on their scrotums even if they weren’t on fire. That’s just the liberal way, I suppose.

 
 

GOP ’06: Keep Ruppert Trolling.

 
 

Didn’t Hugh Hewitt say almost the same thing on Wolf Blitzer’s show?

I guess that’s the new note he’s going to pedal as he makes the rounds – Lefty Bloggers bad, Righty Bloggers good.

Which is, of course, why the Post’s last Righty blogger lasted one week before leaving because of professional misconduct and abject stupidity.

Fortunately, most pundits will let him push this line forever.

 
 

I do need to say though that I’ve gained new respect for Hugh.

Look at him smile, even though he steps onto the frontlines of the GWOT each day when he goes to his office.

He’s like James Bond, Capt. America and Jack Bauer rolled up into one heroic package!

 
 

When it gets to be around 0 for 20, it’s no longer a coincidence.

It could just be a coincidence. If a country had fair elections, and, if there could be more than two viable parties, and, if the voters didn’t just choose between the candidates had already to won the race for campaign donors, and, if districts were redrawn without gerrymandering, and, if people paid attention to the issues on the ballot, and, if every registered voter was allowed to vote……uhmmm it still wouldn’t make much difference if one party controlled the counting of votes. But, if that country had a fair accurate accountable voting system, then bizarre coincidences might really just be bizarre coincidences.

 
 

center-right blogs are both better written, better argued, and funnier –and avoid the vulgarity and profanity that dominate so many of the lefty blogs–

Yup. We talk about gays, the divorced, unmarried parents, illegitimate children, the working poor, immigrants, and non-Christians as if they were real people. We often talk about S-E-X in a recreational context. We’re not properly ashamed of drinking or dancing. And we’ll tell you about the separation of church and state as if it’s a good thing.

Profane, all of it. I tell ya.

 
 

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