Scenes From The Class Struggle

Sure enough, here’s ol’ High Hickory Knob1 to comment on the US Census worker found apparently murdered with ‘fed’ written on his chest:

Confederate Yankee, ConfederateYankee.com
Census Worker Found Hanged in KY

The state, not the lube.

Above: Found sitting in own pew


It’s good that he’s been developing a sense for the Dionysian lately, but we must note that our Aurelius of Asheville is not a wino, but a Wyeth, by which we mean:

US: Hey, famous illustrator of Treasure Island and other such books whose son painted Christina’s World.

CONFEDERATE YANKEE: Wha? Why you call me ‘famous illustrator of Treasure Island and other such books whose son painted Christina’s World?’

US: N.C. — No Class.2

Because hey, we don’t sexualize people found dead from hanging unless circumstances exceed what we call the single-wetsuit rule. But we also don’t masturbate into spoiled meat, so what do we know.

The AP report states that Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old part-time Census field worker, was found hanged from a tree with the word “fed” written on his chest in a remote corner of Daniel Boone National Forest.

Predictably, the usual suspects are suggesting that Rush Limbaugh threw the rope over the branch and Glenn Beck tied the knot.

The only problems with that theory is:

* lack of evidence
* lack of evidence, and
* lack of evidence

A nicely slippery diversion with a mock-jaded flourish of jazz hands. The word ‘fed’ written on his chest along with another thing mentioned below would, it’s true, seem to guide suspicion in a certain direction, but maybe these ‘usual suspects’ (Dave Weigel?!) should wait until they see something asserted on a right-wing blog, because then the rule says that you can skip the looking-into-things formality and go straight into the main work of pitching a thoughtless spaz.

And while liberals are quick to blame the vast right wing conspiracy for Mr. Sparkman’s death, they had to overlook this part of the story to do so:

Appalachia scholar Roy Silver, a New York City native now living in Harlan County, Ky., said he doesn’t sense an outpouring of anti-government sentiment in the region as has been exhibited in town hall meetings in other parts of the country.

“I don’t think distrust of government is any more or less here than anywhere else in the country,” said Silver, a sociology professor at Southeast Community College.

Oh, well okay then. They had to overlook that some local college professor was quoted expressing skepticism, because that would otherwise be a decisive turn. Overlooked in this ‘they had to overlook’ construction — with its rote imprecation of dishonesty that’s actually notorious as a cover for, you know, rote dishonesty — is that the body was discovered on September 12, the very day of that whole big ‘hear me roar’ thing of the Teabaggers and their handlers, and was apparently found near a cemetery, where it seems likely that it hadn’t been creaking in the breeze for very long. Also, ‘Sparkman?’ Could they not have found a man named ‘Igniter?’

Hopefully the investigation into Mr. Sparkman’s death will lead to the arrest, prosecution, and conviction of the person or persons responsible for his death. And I rather suspect that when they do find a motive, it will have very little to do with politics and quite a bit to do with him stumbling across marijuana farming, meth labs, or moonshining.

Ah, he’s been reading Free Republic,or worse, reading Stacy McCain who’s been reading Free Republic.

See the Freeper link for the other (equally good) hypotheses. All we know is that these guys seem too hapless and chumpy to actually kill anyone — although come to think of it, whatshisname did decide to let his people go to the big 9/12 rally in DC without him, in order to take care of some local Teabag business. We allege nothing, but only think well of having an open mind as a general condition.


Notes:

1 Other mountains local to Confederate Yankee’s demesne of Asheville, NC include Dick Knob, Rich Knob, Mike’s Knob, Horse Knob, Black Knob, Four Brothers Knobs, Jesse’s High Top, Craggy Dome, Rockyface, Rector, Jumpoff, Ball, and Big Butt.

Municipalities include Jugtown, Hominy, Sandymush, Paint Fork, Democrat, Lackey Town, Bat Cave, and Fruitland.

Other physical features include Sodom Hollow, Reems Creek, Minehole Gap, Shut-in Ridge, Ben Lippen Rd., Rash Rd., and the French Broad River.

The county is Buncombe.

This is by way of noting that nicknames for Confederate Yankee are not running out anytime soon.

Further, a list of North Carolina’s peaks yields Bad Knob, Barker Butt, Camel Hump, Deer Lick Knob, Dog Loser Knob, Goat Bald, Gregory’s Little Bald, Gusher Knob, Hack Knob, Hump Mountain, and a practical infinitude of others.

2 US: Hey, Gertrude Stein’s companion and muse.
CONFEDERATE YANKEE: Wha? Why you call me Gertrude Stein’s companion and muse?
US: Toklas.


Tintin adds: Dan Riehl, P.I., best known for having single handedly solved the Natalee Holloway case without ever leaving his single-wide, is on the case, astutely noting that this is only an “alleged homicide.” Apparently Dan wants everyone to consider the very real possibility that the 51-year old man scrawled “Fed” on his own chest in an effort to frame Glenn Beck and then shimmied up a tree, crawled out on a branch, attached a rope to the tree limb and jumped.
 

Comments: 82

 
 
 

I love you, Alice B. Toklas!

 
 

First, a guy whose initals are C.Y. shouldn’t be making jokes about KY. Second, I didn’t see references to either Limbaugh or Glenn Beck in any of the stories he linked to. Why am I not surprised?

 
 

I like that Confederate Yankee labors in blissful ignorance of who exactly it is (a) constitutes a small businessman in Kentucky and (b) buys up most of the region’s assault weapons, legal or otherwise.

Also:
1) What with how easy it is to stumble over a meth lab (after all, it’s so simple and risk-free to manufacture illegal drugs in the US, especially the parts where the only part of society anyone believes in any more is the cops), we shouldn’t be surprised that a census taker, who often get so intimate with subjects that they sometimes accept sealed major-brand bottled water from their refrigerators, should be dragged out to a cemetary and hanged by one, in the heat of the moment.
1a) Presumbably, the “FED” thing was some kind of jewelry. You know how public servants are about holding a torch for Alan Greenspan.
2) It’s funny how liberals are blowing this out of proportion, preferring a tenuous vague police investigation leak to rock-solid speculation by the Republican Party – the party of ideas.
3) We know the culprit can’t be a Republican, because a Republican finding himself confronted in the middle of his Sudafed-watch-periodly bender finding his livelihood threatened by an intruding, suspiciously hook-nosed bureaucrat working as a stalking-horse for the Census (the first part of a one-part plan to turn America into the Soviet Union, as every informed American knows) would engage him in polite dialogue without recourse to armed force, just the way they have been engaging people who are debating the extension of federal reward funding for Medicaid.
3a) Also, the Kentucky meth industry is a closed shop.
4) I kid about the Jewy part, but riddle me this, libs: are you admitting that lynching, like all racism, happened to white people??? Next you’ll be telling me you aren’t responsible for Moogaby.
5) In all seriousness, it must be devastating for Ideal Marxist Society to have to choose between his two loves: lying to others and himself to forment the counterrevolution he’s too terrified to admit he’d pussy out of until it had already won and crystal meth, which he literally thinks of as a woman named Tina.

 
 

Also, for the record, that whole thing about spices making masturbating into rotten meat tolerable is a misapprehension. Medieval Europeans just liked how they tasted; they preferred silage and live rodents for beating off.

De masturbare non disputandum, I suppose.

 
 

Reality? Not so much. Both of the “usual suspects” this bitter, tiny little man cites state very clearly that no conclusions can be drawn from the evidence publicly available today. But he is nervous. Ergo the “lube” reference (humor?–not so much). That boy, does, apparently, live in a classless society.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

We are talking about TIDOS Yankee here, I’m surprised he even admits that killing a census worker is technically a “crime” that authorities should even investigate.

 
 

…across marijuana farming, meth labs, or moonshining.

So, now he’s embracing his inner peckerwoodness and using it to deflect criticism? “Hey, they couldn’t be antisocial, frothing, backshooting republicans, they were certainly just run-of-the-mill murderous crackers.”

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Moonshiners and meth producers being well known for their penchant for lynching people and leaving their bodies where they were sure to be discovered and would provoke a federal investigation.

Because if there’s something that people trying to make money off producing alcohol and drugs want, it’s an FBI investigation in their county, that’s surely better than having a nosey census worker poking around asking demography questions.

 
 

Yeah, moonshiners (of all stripes) definitely like to draw the attention of the feds to their enterprises.
For Wanker, this threatens to be an “accountability moment.” One where he faces the consequences of his words and actions. Such moments often involve dealing with adversity, which has mistakenly been associated with building character. In fact, adversity merely reveals one’s character and Corndog Wanker’s is brightly illuminated here. Calling him a shitstain is an insult to dirty diapers everywhere, so I shall refrain from such aspersions.

 
 

So, a few workers in one office of a heavily decentralized advocacy organization (who strung an obvious fraud along before later calling the cops) is day-one irrefutable proof that ACORN is vast criminal enterprise– but the lynching of a Census worker on the day of Beck’s little Burning Man Cross Festival after one of the darlings of the conservative movement has been has been on a public campaign to push the idea that the Census is some sort of Evil Plot that must be resisted at all costs is just totally coincidental and we’re all paranoid big meanies for even thinking that way. Gotcha.

Following convention, this would be the place where I’d typically try to say something funny and humiliating about Mr. Owens for the utter depravity and willful moral blindness that permits him to behave this way. I just can’t this time. Snark just seems too weak. I mean generally. Making fun of these motherfuckers isn’t keeping them in the box.

 
 

Making fun of these motherfuckers isn’t keeping them in the box.

[Searches pockets for law enforcement credentials, finds none]

I don’t know that a bunch of snarky commenters have the ability to address these people in a meaningful way. Wouldn’t it be nice if Glenn Beck invited an FBI offical on his show to talk about this case only to have that official turn around and say,
“Glenn, you and people like you bear significant responsibility for the climate of anger and violence that we are seeing in this country.”

Personally, snark merely keeps the head/desk percussion at a manageable level.

 
 

I don’t know that a bunch of snarky commenters have the ability to address these people in a meaningful way. Wouldn’t it be nice if Glenn Beck invited an FBI offical on his show to talk about this case only to have that official turn around and say,
“Glenn, you and people like you bear significant responsibility for the climate of anger and violence that we are seeing in this country.”

Which is, of course, why Beck would never do any such thing. The closest it could ever come would be inviting a retired mid-level CIA functionary on and having him call Beck a homosymp because he asked questions without pulling a fingernail off first.

 
 

Hell, we got a whole city of 100,000 here in Virginia called The Big Lick.
And i been to Bat Cave. Actually, that part of North Carolina, while rural, is a pretty elite, wealthy tourist haven. For instance, Wikipedia “Highlands, NC” I mean we’re not talkin’ Matewan here.

 
 

Which is, of course, why Beck would never do any such thing.

I have a very active fantasy life. What can I say?

 
 

I have a very active fantasy life. What can I say?

Based on a very active fantasy life, all sorts of things could be said:

Avast, ye mateys!

Why Miss Smith, you’re beautiful!

It’s so big!

Fuck me, Gandalf, fuck me!

 
 

Which is, of course, why Beck would never do any such thing.

I have a very active fantasy life. What can I say?

I know, I know. I’m one to talk derisively about torch-carrying – I still fantasize about the domestic/foreign intelligence divide being reincarnated from the ashes. In reality, the FBI and CIA guys would be as alike as make no difference, and it’d be hard to tell who would give my answer and who would give yours.

The only guarantee is that they’d both be hilariously fat.

 
 

Sloppy joe is a serving suggestion, kid, like cole slaw.

 
 

Nah, Looch, I’m not trying to beat anyone, including myself, over the head with the Humorless Dildo. And I’m certainly not having delusions of competence or effectiveness.

I’m just troubled by all the Bad Craziness, and doubly so by the fact that the press seems determined to legitimize it (or, at the very least, can’t stop from unintentionally legitimizing it because the Bad Craziness is exciting and therefore good for sales) and, as someone who’s interested in political communications, I can’t help casting around for the best way to push back against that shit.

 
 


the 51-year old man scrawled “Fed” on his own chest in an effort to frame Glenn Beck

nah, it was a suicide – he was trying to scrawl ‘fed up’, and got, um, fed up partway through….

what an ugly little man the tidos is. and I am not talking about looks.

 
 

Nah, Looch, I’m not trying to beat anyone, including myself, over the head with the Humorless Dildo. And I’m certainly not having delusions of competence or effectiveness.

Hey, I share the frustration. A little justice in the world? Pleease? And when we engage in “peak wingnut” discussions I know I am looking for a glimmer of hope that at some point the bad craziness will subside a little, or at least for a little while.

 
 

Sloppy joe is a serving suggestion, kid, like cole slaw.

I always found the fact that our sloppy joes were more neat and trim than our hamburgers intensely disconcerting, yes.

 
 

Sloppy joe is a serving suggestion, kid, like cole slaw.

Hey sis, how ya doin’? Nah, just ignore that Actor fella. Nice hair net, it suits you.

 
 

From the Wapo today on the census taker crime:

It’s a tragedy. Our hearts and our thoughts and prayers go out to the family of this worker,” Office of Personnel Management Director John Berry said Thursday morning. He has spoken frequently about the denigration of federal employees.

“I’m going to be closely following this law enforcement action. If this is an attack on a federal employee, I can assure you that no resources will be spared to find the perpetrators,” Berry said. “We cannot tolerate essentially domestic terrorism, if that is what this is. But until we understand the law enforcement investigation, we don’t know.”

Good. Mr. Berry gets right to the point: “Domestic terrorism.” I wonder how some of these Wingnuts feel about the suspension of habeus corpus now?

 
 

I do have to cut him a little slack about the lede, though. I think I speak for most of us here when I say the main thing I do with KY’s product is murders. You have no idea how bad my lynchin’ hand chafes otherwise.

 
 

Also in NC, the best name for a mountain town evar: Loafers Glory.

 
 

I know I’d be upset if someone found the Confederate Yanker hanging from a tree after he’d become a census worker.

Because, you know, it would mean that he had actually become a useful and productive member of society, instead of a massive suckwad douche living off wingnut welfare and poisoning the minds of those members of society who are stupid (and thus vulnerable to outside influences of brainFAIL) enough to lean rightward.

 
 

The only thing that doesn’t fit with the domestic terrorism theory is that the word “fed” was spelled correctly.

 
 

Also in NC, the best name for a mountain town evar: Loafers Glory.

Tassels everywhere.

 
 

Maybe Sparkman was given a meal before he was hung, so the words isn’t “Fed”, but “fed”?

 
 

I lived in NC for a while. I usually drove on Morehead Freeway. I think I laughed every time, and I hope to never outgrow that sort of juvenile humor. I also think some of the place names may be deliberately vulgar. Those mountain folk got a bad rap in history. They make good music and occasionally good whiskey.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

See the Freeper link for the other (equally good) hypotheses.

No.

I’m pretty sure that’s how you get chlamydia.

 
 

For all fans of US 1 and juvenile humor, NC also contributed “Rocky Mount.”

Ouch.

 
 

Y’know, I mean, Bobo is right: it’s premature to draw conclusions about this case until the police & FBI have conducted a thorough and complete investigation.

It would be a shame to jump to conclusions, right, idjit?

 
 

The only thing that doesn’t fit with the domestic terrorism theory is that the word “fed” was spelled correctly.

Let’s not jump to any hasty conclusions here. We don’t have any real information yet. For all we know, the authorities could have found pieces of paper with the words “edf,” “dfe,” “efd,” “fde,” “def,” and “Wolverines!!!” on the ground. They wanted to get it right, you see.

 
 

I’m waiting for someone to claim the census is unconstitutional. I know it’ll happen, and it’ll be awesome.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

For all we know, the authorities could have found pieces of paper with the words “edf,” “dfe,” “efd,” “fde,” “def,” and “Wolverines!!!” on the ground. They wanted to get it right, you see.

This is true. Dead bodies don’t have spellcheck, after all.

 
 

For all fans of US 1 and juvenile humor, NC also contributed “Rocky Mount.”
You know, that never occured to me until now. I always heard the weather reports for Rocky Mount, but never put it together. In the middle of the radio weather reader’s spiel, I don’t think I would have blinked if they said the high for Dickson Butts.

 
 

Sorry, no town in NC is going to top French Lick, IN.

 
 

This is true. Dead bodies don’t have spellcheck, after all.

[cringe]

No, they don’t. And I was getting pretty close to the tasteless and empathy-free zone. Sparkman led a somewhat inspirational life, and should be remembered with high regard for that.

 
 

Or, for that matter, the rather curious construct that has Blue Balls almost precisely half way between Virginville and Intercourse in Pennsylvania.

 
 

No, they don’t. And I was getting pretty close to the tasteless and empathy-free zone. Sparkman led a somewhat inspirational life, and should be remembered with high regard for that.

You know who else was inspirational? Hitler.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

No, they don’t. And I was getting pretty close to the tasteless and empathy-free zone. Sparkman led a somewhat inspirational life, and should be remembered with high regard for that.

Yeah, sorry about that. I almost didn’t post and wish I hadn’t. I tend to vacillate between complete flippancy/tastelessness and absolute despair. Hopefully you understand.

Anyway, *my* favorite place name I’ve seen so far is “Booger Hollow.” My sense of humor’s closer to a 10-year-old’s than a 14-year-olds.

 
 

Or, for that matter, the rather curious construct that has Blue Balls almost precisely half way between Virginville and Intercourse in Pennsylvania.

Just north of me are a couple of depressed mill towns named “Orange” and “Athol.”
The locals, in the spirit of municipal rivalry, I suppose, have a saying concerning the two towns. (wait for it…)

“Orange you glad you don’t live in that Athol?”

 
 

Yeah, sorry about that.

I believe I kinda crossed the line. No apology needed.

“After you!”
“No, no! After you!”

Ad infinitum

 
 

No, Mr. Yankee, I’m sure these activities have nothing to do with Michelle Bachman advising her constituents to meet government workers at the door with a fucking gun or anything that Glenn Beck has said, but go fuck yourself into a hole anyway.

 
 

Yeah, sorry about that. I almost didn’t post and wish I hadn’t. I tend to vacillate between complete flippancy/tastelessness and absolute despair. Hopefully you understand.

I find it easier to do crass if you leave empathetic despair implicit. And frankly, his family is who needs to do the mourning – our place is to be outraged, and therein falls the concept of a man lynching a census-taker in a field needing to quote Red Dawn to clear his head and spell a three-letter word properly.

 
 

Sorry, no town in NC is going to top French Lick, IN.

Actor, I have something that tops that. It’s not a town but a state park:

Big Bone Lick state park, KY.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

I believe I kinda crossed the line. No apology needed.

Oh, apologizing is my second-favorite past-time, right after analyzing wingnut psychology. (I had a rough childhood).

I find it easier to do crass if you leave empathetic despair implicit.

Yeah, it’s just harder to read over the internets and if someone doesn’t know you very well.

Of course, if there’s any place for that anywhere, it’s definitely here.

 
 

Of course, if there’s any place for that anywhere, it’s definitely here.

Yes. Back to it, shall we?

 
 

You know who else was inspirational? Hitler.

You can never have too much Hitler in a thread. Unpossible.

 
 

You can never have too much Hitler in a thread. Unpossible.

Like salt in soup.

 
 

Further, a list of North Carolina’s peaks yields Bad Knob, Barker Butt, Camel Hump, Deer Lick Knob, Dog Loser Knob, Goat Bald, Gregory’s Little Bald, Gusher Knob, Hack Knob, Hump Mountain, and a practical infinitude of others.

Haha you weren’t kidding (mostly).

 
 

“This is by way of noting that nicknames for Confederate Yankee are not running out anytime soon.”

O.K. I’ll play.

The Buncombe County Bunghole, or
The Dick Knob Mountain Dick Knob

 
 

A joke relating Kentucky’s postal code with KY Jelly would actually be pretty funny, if it were told by a non-moron who had any sense of context.

Also, I should mention that I do kind of hope the moron is correct in this case: nobody wants anti-government violence. Well, nobody sane, which I suppose is why people are worredi about Glenn Beck.

 
 

“Hey, they couldn’t be antisocial, frothing, backshooting republicans, they were certainly just run-of-the-mill murderous crackers.”

Naive of me to ask, perhaps– but why couldn’t it be both?

 
 

Naive of me to ask, perhaps– but why couldn’t it be both?

Exactly like I thought. Meth manufacturers are upstanding small businessmen with a strong interest in limited government and their right to security in their property. By God, they’s the realest Americans there is.

 
 

Just north of me are a couple of depressed mill towns named “Orange” and “Athol.”

In Massachusetts, there are three towns named for former governor Endicott Peabody: Endicott, Peabody, and Athol.

(That’s the way I heard it growing up.)

 
 

For all fans of US 1 and juvenile humor, NC also contributed “Rocky Mount.”

Dude! I have a client in Rocky Mount. Cummins.
They make engines.

 
 

Also in NC, the best name for a mountain town evar: Loafers Glory.

Tassels everywhere.

“It’s made of pennies!

 
 

Funny how the libbbrul media (CNN) can’t seem to find room anywhere for the murdered census worker on it’s main page, but can tell me about some Brit finding a gold horde on his goddamn sheep farm.

I await the same people who were complaining that the ACORN story was “only” the Headline of the NYT and WaPo but not taking up the entire front page of either liberal paper to pick up the mantle here.

Help us out, assholes…should we suspend habeas corpus on white, anti-gov (e.g. ALL OF YOU) types in KY just like we did moooslems?

 
 

Apparently Dan wants everyone to consider the very real possibility that the 51-year old man scrawled “Fed” on his own chest in an effort to frame Glenn Beck and then shimmied up a tree, crawled out on a branch, attached a rope to the tree limb and jumped.

That would only be believable if he wrote “Fed” backwards.

 
 

Have we ruled out a Britney connection? Maybe it was K-“Fed” being all up-in-yo-face bone-thugs-and-harmony and shit. Alert Fox!

Also. Nicely done, Jennifer. Also.

 
Even The Goddamn Batman Gets A Little Oogy When Thinking About 'Deliverance'
 

Bob isn’t really helping his image as a slack-jawed, slope-browed, jug-eared, squinty-eyed, sister-diddling, broke-dick, no-‘count peckerwood when he assumes that any census worker would possibly run across a still, meth lab, or pot farm unless the fucking thing were on someone’s front lawn. What does he think census workers do? Thoroughly search the premises of every house they visit so that they can make sure that Cletus Kadiddlehopper ain’t hiding uncounted chickens in the outhouse?

 
 

Funny how the libbbrul media (CNN) can’t seem to find room anywhere for the murdered census worker on it’s main page, but can tell me about some Brit finding a gold horde on his goddamn sheep farm.

Man, that gold find is one of those discoveries, like working out that the weird rubble mountains of Las Medullas were a) the result of the Romans using an aqueduct system that would make a PRC economist blush to sandblast the fucking earth and b) not considered remarkable by its contemporaries – it’s the single biggest gold find in the UK. It’d be like future archaeologists finding out that Delaware existed: it completely changes the way medieval Britain is seen in a continental context.

I’m not disagreeing with your general point, I’m just saying. It’s not just any gold horde, it’s up there for the top archaeological find of the decade. If the media were ideal, it’d push everything Fox News would want to discuss out of the news for a year.

 
 

“In Massachusetts, there are three towns named for former governor Endicott Peabody: Endicott, Peabody, and Athol.”

Also in Massachusetts, there’s Gay Head (since renamed, I believe).

 
 

“What does he think census workers do? Thoroughly search the premises of every house they visit so that they can make sure that Cletus Kadiddlehopper ain’t hiding uncounted chickens in the outhouse?”

Think? Doesn’t enter into the equation. Finding a way to deflect responsibility is the end of the inquiry. Except for trying to make conservatives look bad, nothing about this is political. The end. Robert Byrd was in the KKK. Also.

 
 

I always wondered what that Scratch Acid song “Big Bone Lick” was about. I’m glad to hear that it’s a respectful tribute to the Kentucky state park system.

 
 

I’m waiting for someone to claim the census is unconstitutional. I know it’ll happen, and it’ll be awesome.

I thought Bachmann already did.

 
 

I got you, Alec, and I am an Anglophile, having lived there for 4 yrs, but the point remains…a Federal Census Volunteer, performing a Constitutionally mandated DUTY, was fucking murdered the by kindred spirits of TIDOS Wanker and their Government-hating (when Democrats are in power), cowardly, GOP-fellating shitheels, and CNN deems it unnecessary to have this on their fucking main page. And Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick! They are literally only hurting themselves! Their ‘logic’ is “we’ve done everything in our power to ensure undercounting of nigras and spics for decades and now that the Gummint is (trying) to use modeling to correct those counts, we’re going to not only knock over the apple cart, but piss all over it and murder the shopkeeper, because shut up, that’s why”. Are these people HUMAN?

I wonder where a story about Bill Ayers stabbing a National Guardsman on campus would appear on CNN/NYT/WaPo?

 
 

What alec said re the gold find.

I wish my husband had had time this morning to read the Yahoo! news article; he’s intensely interested in archeology and anthropology and would’ve loved to hear about it. (Instead it’ll be a treat while he unwinds after work.)

 
 

Nothing will ever beat Fucking, Austria.

As far as the census, I strongly support listing Kentucky’s population as zero.

 
 

I got you, Alec, and I am an Anglophile, having lived there for 4 yrs, but the point remains…a Federal Census Volunteer, performing a Constitutionally mandated DUTY, was fucking murdered the by kindred spirits of TIDOS Wanker and their Government-hating (when Democrats are in power), cowardly, GOP-fellating shitheels, and CNN deems it unnecessary to have this on their fucking main page. And Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick! They are literally only hurting themselves! Their ‘logic’ is “we’ve done everything in our power to ensure undercounting of nigras and spics for decades and now that the Gummint is (trying) to use modeling to correct those counts, we’re going to not only knock over the apple cart, but piss all over it and murder the shopkeeper, because shut up, that’s why”. Are these people HUMAN?

My jaundiced belief is that the census thing only rises to the level of actual ideology in complete morons like Bachmann. For the rest of the goon squad, it’s something to insinuate horrible things about because worse census funding and support = fewer people counted in urban areas = better apportionment for the Republican Party.

Census-hate is, more than any part of the Kulturkampf, not just 100% political but 100% partisan, and close to 100% artificial at that. Other than the few idiotic “libertarians” who vector it knowingly or unknowingly as part of their wider obsession with denigrating human society, it’s purely something foisted on knee-jerk Republican doctrinaires by their manipulators in the media. That’s why Beck can non-apology apologize about it so easy: he never believed anything about the census except that it’s bad for the Party, therefore he hates it whether or not it’s one of the rare things we do these days that is actually in the Constitution.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

And I rather suspect that when they do find a motive, it will have very little to do with politics and quite a bit to do with him stumbling across marijuana farming, meth labs, or moonshining.

Poor Sparkman, he didn’t stay away from Copperhead Road.

 
 

As far as the census, I strongly support listing Kentucky’s population as zero.

Louisville is a very liberal city with an incredibly diverse music & arts scene. KY-03 almost always goes blue. And that’s 1/4 of the state’s population.

 
 

Sorry for Sparkman & his family. The coinkydink of this “just happening” on 9/12 is, uh, hard to swallow. And the irony that Sparkman was doing something actually required by the US Constitution – but reviled now by the shit-for-“brains” rabble bc they fear that the results of this Census won’t go in their favor – is almost unbearable. Brought to you by the folks who like to use both their Bibles & the US Constitution to wipe their nasty smelly shitty assholes UNLESS they’re needing either or both to ram something stupid & not in them down teh eeevul l’bruls throats.

There are days when I despair of getting out of bed bc it’s nigh on to unbelievable how low these vermin will go. I do recall (vaguely) the days of McCarthy & Jack Welch belching out the John Birchers, plus the ridicule that Carter endured, not to mention the absurdity of the Clinton years (murder, she wrote!!). How these stooges & dopes can spend years of their lives seething & frothing in blind-stupid rage is beyond me. But I’m getting damn sick & tired of the boorish, loutish, doltish bull shit.

Glennda, I fear, won’t stop until there’s more of this and worse. Fuck Rupert Murdoch!! He’s running this country into the ground, that weaselly perverted pirate. Talk about: I want my country back!

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

US: Hey, famous illustrator of Treasure Island and other such books whose son painted Christina’s World.

CONFEDERATE YANKEE: Wha? Why you call me ‘famous illustrator of Treasure Island and other such books whose son painted Christina’s World?’

US: N.C. — No Class.

Am I the only one to picture the cast of Fat Albert laughing their asses off after this? Yes, no?

 
 

Regarding the “alleged homicide”, what the hell is up with this article:
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2009/09/the-circumstances-surrounding-the-hanging-death-of-a-us-census-bureau-worker-in-rural-kentucky-are-still-murky-but-o.html

Headline “FBI probing whether Census worker’s death involved foul play”

 
 

The Chinless Chucklehead strikes again!

This time, he’s wearing his “Responsible Journalistologist” duncecap, so you KNOW it’s bad news for the Cobag-Gargler’s Gulch Goopers – as has been seen in many links/posts here & elsewhere, he has a penchant to go Full Metal Retard when it’s something like, oh, let’s say ACORN workers humoring a couple of wingnut “guerilla journalists” … or a crazy lady mutilating herself in emulation of Karl “Rat Lover” Rove.

I just kind of wonder how many bodies it takes before any of these precious snowflakes admit that they’re waaaaaay more than one toke over the line, sweet Jesus. Apparently America’s not quite there yet – & if you count Oklahoma City, you’re already way up into three-digit territory.

(PS: This has been a test of the FYWP Emergency Broadsnark System. If this had been an actual comment, its contents would have instructed Bubba Owens to cordially eat a large bag of male genitals & to asphyxiate on same.)

 
 

Michelle Bachman advising her constituents to meet government workers at the door with a fucking gun

So let me get this straight, Michelle Bachman says that if Michelle Bachman comes to the door of one of her constituents they should shoot her?

 
pseudonymous in nc
 

Gun Shop Gomer lives in Asheville? I don’t think so. Obama came to Asheville. He stayed in Asheville. He bought ribs in Asheville. Gun Shop Gomer is really not welcome in Asheville for so many reasons.

And the point about SE KY is that it’s the fucking Pakistan-Afghan tribal homelands of America. Guns, drugs, hatred of central government. Bunch of pot growers or meth cookers probably heard some Limpballs shit about census workers and decided this poor guy was collecting information for the DEA.

 
pseudonymous in nc
 

if there’s something that people trying to make money off producing alcohol and drugs want, it’s an FBI investigation in their county, that’s surely better than having a nosey census worker poking around asking demography questions.

The FBI are already in the Tribal Areas of SE Kentucky. Also the DEA and people who don’t tell you which branch of the federal government they’re working for. When people use a national forest as their pot-growing patch, that sorta kinda happens. And the money spent on tracking down the pot patches, as opposed to improving the sub-50% literacy rate, shitty health and grinding poverty of that part of Appalachian Kentucky, sorta kinda provokes resentment of federal government. Not that that justifies killing a fucking census worker, especially in a climate where the fucktards on talk radio are drawing targets on your back, but it really does bring home the fact that the United fucking States is trying to pacify Kentuckystan, when they can’t even bring peace to Kentucky.

 
 

animus said,

September 24, 2009 at 11:51 (kill)

I love you, Alice B. Toklas!

And so does Harold Fine.

 
 

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