“Dear Jonah, The cranberry bogs in Jaleb, Utah are a must-see during the midsummer flood of the muddy Witchihachitee…”
Remember we pledged to help Jonah with his research?
EXCITING NEWS (FOR ME). [Jonah Goldberg]
As this will be the first summer in years where my lovely bride will not be tied to an office, the fair Jessica and I have decided to escape as much of the DC summer as possible, this time for an extended excursion. We will probably be staying with relatives in the Pacific Northwest again at the end of the summer, but we’d like to take the scenic route getting there. Now that I have my wireless doohickey, I can really work from anywhere. I’d like to do more road-blogging as I did awhile back anyway. So we’re thinking of taking the Southern route. Specifically we want to spend some time in the Southwest, probably New Mexico but Colorado or Utah might be in the cards too. It depends on finances etc. But we’d really like to find a little place to rent for an extended stay where we can work and still do extended stays etc. A meet-up or two might be in the cards as well. Anyway, for those of you with tips about places to stay, visit, rent, and so on. please send them along to JonahResearch@aol.com.
If anyone knows of any highways-to-nowhere haunted by ghosts, regions plagued by mosquitoes, run-down motels with a dark and baleful history, or simply any imaginary places or attractions that could lead to great hardship or inconvenience, that address again is: JonahResearch@aol.com.
Actually, here’s one fine short-term rental property.
There are a few stains on the flooring where Hitchens chucked a dummy suddenly detumesced and marinated in a pool of his own making for a few days, but that’s all among friends. Lots of old-old copies of Commentary in the cellar, too.
[Thanks: Elon Green]
Bradrocket takes a break from work to add: Could someone please send Jonah the address of the Hotel Torgo? Thanks.
“I’m suh-sorry, Mr. Goldberg, but The Master wouldn’t approve of you eating his entire box of ho-ho’s…”
I think a drunken Brit would typically use some other phrase than chucked the dummy. Something more like parked the moddie or booted the keelhauler.
Yeah, “chucking a dummy” is having an epileptic seizure, or faking one in order to get out of some military duty (I’m not sure if it has to be fake, the only time I’ve ever seen it used is in Lucky Jim, and I had to look it up).
The Great Gazoogle says it means “pretending to faint” and largely has it down to hobo slang, but it’s definitely used by drunken Brits (as in Lucky Jim).
Let’s ask Jonah.
Dear Jonah,
I’d be happy to put you up in my basement when you pass through on your trip. Say, what’s your dress size?
– Buffalo Bill
As someone who spent from last June – Dec on the road, is he fucking nuts? The “southern route”? In July? Jesus, we tried to escape global warming by heading to the Upper Peninsula in July, and the temperature topped 100 like four times, for the first time ev-ah.
Jonah, do yourself a favor – it’s still a lot cheaper to travel through Canada (exchange is what, .75 loonies to the US dollar?) So take the tran-Canadian highway, or whatever it’s called. Or do all of us a favor, and get lost in some desert in New Mexico. Come to think of it, I forget everything I said in the before the last sentence.
Does anyone else get totally weirded out when he refers to his wife as “his bride” or “the fair Jessica”? I don’t really know why it bothers me so much but it really makes me wince in pain.
Hey, he doesn’t have to go south for great weather. Here in scenic eastern Washington we have weeks in the summer where it’s 100 degrees every day. And–here’s the deal-closer–all the radioactive waste you can eat!
Dude, it’s gonna be like 120 and his car will explode somewhere on the Navajo res.
Dude, it’s gonna be like 120 and his car will explode somewhere on the Navajo res.
Yeah, and the Dineh, vote, like, 95% Democrat, so all he has to do is like open his mouth and… Or we can convince his “lovely bride” to wear her favorite tank top, being summer and all. That will go over well there. Or have him talk about his beloved dead grandfather.
This could be fun.
Oooh…Plaster his car with “I [heart] Hopis” and “McCain 2008” bumper stickers.
This is too easy.
“We’ve decided to escape as much of the DC summer as possible”…by driving South and inland. It’s impossible to keep up with this kind of genius.
Sure, Midwest will be hotter n’ hell, but doesn’t he have South Dakota to thank for sewing up the womb? Can’t he give a little love to the good people of the fortified compounds in Idaho (oh, wait, he’s Jewish)? Is it possible to escape a DC summer by going to Texas?
Is it possible to escape a DC summer by going to Texas?
Good Lord, have we not suffered enough already without a visit from Jonah?
Given the number of times he’s mentioned it on NRO, young Jonah seems mighty proud of his “wireless doohickey.” One of my secrets to a happy life is spending as little time as possible thinking about Jonah’s doohickey, so would someone please explain — what the fuck is he talking about?
He yammers about this doohickey *shudder* as if it’s some fantastically advanced gadget unknown to cheese-eating, Saddam-fellating moonbats. I’m guessing he just got an Airport card, right? Or a microchip implanted in his frontal lobes, which can only be an improvement.
Sorry, Matt. As a native Texan whose family still lives depressingly close to Crawford, I feel your pain. But I do like the thought of the Goldbergs exploring the sweeping crispy grandeur of the Panhandle right about now.
Kathleen, that “fair Jessica” stuff creeps me out, too. Not in a sinister way — more in the sweaty, pitiful, Ren-Faire “Hark! What beauteous vision doth approach, bearing Cool Ranch Doritos!” fashion.
“Does anyone else get totally weirded out when he refers to his wife as “his bride” or “the fair Jessica”? I don’t really know why it bothers me so much but it really makes me wince in pain.”
It’s terrifying because it forces us to acknowledge that Jonah has, in fact, consumated his marriage. And there were at least two witnesses. And maybe video.
the sweeping crispy grandeur of the Panhandle
Actually, the weather in Lubbock is gorgeous about now (I said the WEATHER). Um, I’m guessing the rest of the Panhandle is on fire again.
Couldn’t we send Jonah to where those “Hills Have Eyes” people lurk? They’ll call him “Chitlings.”
If he’s going to be on the road in July, I’d suggest camping in Death Valley. It’d be nice and quiet for his extended-stay road-blogging, and we’d get some fun reports:
“Need… water… buzzards… circling!”
Specifically we want to spend some time in the Southwest, probably New Mexico but Colorado or Utah might be in the cards too.
He didn’t just call Utah the “Southwest,” did he?
Torgo FTW! yay!
Deliverance!
Hey, if Colorado is the Southwest Utah definitely is.
Maybe we could direct him to an old nuclear test site populated by murderous, in-bred, irradiated muties. Otherwise knows as the GOP.
I think if you watch Manos: The Hand of Fate, you could figure out how to get to Hotel Torgo. They show the entire car ride without ever cutting away.
Wow-I’m from the Southwest! I didn’t even know!
Ren-Faire “Hark! What beauteous vision doth approach, bearing Cool Ranch Doritos!” fashion.
never has the acronym “LOL” seemed so appropriate.
The Everglades are delightful in the summer. Be sure and stop by the Old Watson Place.
(exchange is what, .75 loonies to the US dollar?)
0.85 Cananadian to the dollar as of March 20…
BTW, an ounce of BC bud is going for $100 US.