8
I Have a Project for You All…
Thanks to reader Kathleen for pointing us to this Jonah Goldberg post (my emphasis):
VERY QUICK BLEG [Jonah Goldberg]
Does that Geico car insurance ad (…but there is good news: I saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico) play across the entire country? I know it does in the East. Is it in the Midwest or California? As the response to this kind of bleg is bound to be overwhelming. Send answers to JonahResearch@aol.com. And please don’t send any answers after, 11:00 AM. Thanks.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to send Jonah erroneous or faulty information the next time he asks for help with his research. You should concoct a series of phony facts that reinforce Jonah’s worldview, but are also fairly believable. I want to see just how ridiculous something has to be for him not to print it (see also: his BS story about how the Great Plains Indians burned down all the forests in the Midwest, as well as his ridiculous smear of Upton Sinclair).
The first person to successfully get their misinformation published in one of his columns gets to spend a day with me, Gavin and Seb inside Sadly, No!’s glamorous headquarters in Times Square.
Mal de mer said,
March 8, 2006 at 21:39
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to send Jonah erroneous or faulty information the next time he asks for help with his research.
Isn’t this what we pay you do to, for our amusement and…whatnot?
*hmph*….ambles off towards TBogg
Pinko Punko said,
March 8, 2006 at 21:41
Jesus! Like there is only one ad. What a doughpants!
Brad R. said,
March 8, 2006 at 21:45
Isn’t this what we pay you do to, for our amusement and…whatnot?
I get paid for this?
Matt T. said,
March 8, 2006 at 21:58
I get paid for this?
If only in the coin of the spirit.
Dan Someone said,
March 8, 2006 at 21:59
Actually, they’re really only chocolate coins of the spirit.
Dan Someone said,
March 8, 2006 at 22:01
Wait a minute…
And please don’t send any answers after, 11:00 AM.
Has Jonah been taking writing “lessons” from, Kaye Grogan?
teh l4m3 said,
March 8, 2006 at 22:13
I second that WTF, PP — Geico only has about 50 bazillion “no, but I saved…” commercials. Is there one in particular that he expects those who are ideologically aligned with him to know about? Like some sort of dog-whistle thing?
scarshapedstar said,
March 8, 2006 at 22:31
I told him that the Geico commercials play in the Mideast as well because they hate America.
Timmah420 said,
March 8, 2006 at 22:34
What a lazy fuckwad.
Jonah:Is there any chocolate milk left in the fridge? I know the carton on my desk is empty. Is it on the door or in the main bit? As the response to this kind of bleg is bound to be overwhelming. Send answers to JonahfridgeResearch@aol.com. And please don’t send any answers after, 11:00 AM, that’s when I switch to just drinking straight up syrup, Thanks.
tg said,
March 8, 2006 at 22:43
Dear Jonah: I was going to write you to say that no, they don’t play here in Idaho, but then I realized I was falling prey to the logical fallacy of “absence of evidence is evidence of absence.” So I vow to watch TV 24-7 for the next four weeks to see if it plays. I know that even four weeks of straight viewing without seeing the aforementioned ad does not logically prove that it does not play, but I hope that my efforts can provide reasonable evidence that it doesn’t. Anything for you and your insatiable curiosity.
You cum guzzling ass-fuck monster twat.
Affectionately,
tg
The tECHIDNA said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:14
And please don’t send any answers after, 11:00 AM.
“…because that’s when K-Lo sends me porn…er, memos…and I need to throughly peruse these memos…you know, for research —
Brent Bozell made me do it! IT WAS HIM! Mommy please don’t hurt me!!
But I still need those ‘memos’.”
tigrismus said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:24
Does that Geico car insurance ad … play across the entire country?
Ooh, an insurance commercial. He’s obviously working on a particularly scintillating piece. The breath, she is bated.
The tECHIDNA said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:40
Timmah420, I think that might’ve been a prototype e-mail upon reading this:
YES! [Jonah Goldberg]
Long have I dreamed of a microwave oven that works backward, making things very cold quickly. The anti-griddle isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Perhaps we could use a giant one of these to flash-cool volcanos?
I don’t even know where to begin with this one…”microwave oven that works backward”?!
I need to go recalibrate my brain before it assplodes…viewing works by Salvador Dali and M.C. Escher would be a good start.
kathleen said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:43
tigrismus – I think he’s afraid of being called an “east coast elite” if he references a commercial in his column that doesn’t play in the midwest. Of course, you would think he could call a friend or two who live there and ask, but I am sure he has a good reason for asking for email research support instead and that reason is not that he is an east coast elite and has no friends.
nilsey said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:44
Does this idiot call himself a journalist?
couldn’t he jst call up Geico and ask for their PR depsrtment and get an answer from the horses mouth?
J. Brida said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:48
tECHIDNA:
I don’t even know where to begin with this one…”microwave oven that works backward”?
But he’s long DREAMED of it (I would suggest investigate ‘freezers’, but that might just be toying with his dream).
I think it works on the same principle of his personality: It sucks the waves right out of a room.
tigrismus said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:54
OK, taking the last two posts together, he doesn’t want to seem elitist when writing about tv ads, but an $845 useless kitchen doodad rocks his world. You know, I *can* actually believe he’s that vacant.
Seriously, though, I bet he sees Geico ads on the Sci-fi channel, which is nationwide, and that makes him too stupid for words.
tigrismus said,
March 8, 2006 at 23:56
Well, the last two when I started typing. DARN YOU BOTH TO HECK!
Snatch Adams said,
March 9, 2006 at 0:04
Hey, I just saved a pantload on auto insurance!
Dorothy said,
March 9, 2006 at 4:34
Um…why can’t Jonah get email after 11:00am? Does his server need a nap? Is it like crossing the beams or something?
If he’d said “I need to know by 11:00″ it would make perfect sense. But “don’t send any responses after 11:00″?
Hysterical Woman said,
March 9, 2006 at 4:59
Why wouldn’t it play across the country? Geico is a major insurance company. I assume most commericals are played across the country, unless it’s for a local business.
Steve M. said,
March 9, 2006 at 5:14
Um…why can’t Jonah get email after 11:00am? Does his server need a nap? Is it like crossing the beams or something?
Reminds me of someone I used to work with, who was high-powered but nuts (and unable to do anything on her computer except play solitaire). She told her assistant before leaving for a vacation, “Turn my e-mail off — I don’t want a lot of messages when I get back.”
Dorothy said,
March 9, 2006 at 5:36
Steve, I’ve always been a fan of the “send myself two or three 6 meg files and crash my mailbox” method. Or, at least, one of my coworkers is. (Three copies of the same 6 meg file = “mailbox is over its size limit”. Yeah, thanks, dude.)
teh l4m3 said,
March 9, 2006 at 6:40
Well, Jonah’s a science fiction fan. So he’s all sciencey and stuff (or at least, can get his readers to e-mail him stuff that can make him sound sciencey). At any rate, six, one-half-dozen, or the other.
FlipYrWhig said,
March 9, 2006 at 6:43
Finding out information about GEICO is so easy, even a caveman could do it. Next time, do a little research. But you can be day-YAMN sure Jonah Goldberg never said “I don’t have much of an appetite, thank you.”
Jack of None said,
March 9, 2006 at 7:23
Why am I not surprised that Jonah Goldberg has an AOL account?
Steve J. said,
March 9, 2006 at 7:45
The first person to successfully get their misinformation published in one of his columns gets to spend a day with me, Gavin and Seb inside Sadly, No!’s glamorous headquarters in Times Square.
Um, what’s 2nd Prize?
Yosef said,
March 9, 2006 at 14:48
Finding out information about GEICO is so easy, even a caveman could do it. Next time, do a little research. But you can be day-YAMN sure Jonah Goldberg never said “I don’t have much of an appetite, thank you.”
Posted by: FlipYrWhig
I don’t get this at all. is it some type of reference to a movie or something?
And I agree with MdM, in order to make fun of Jonah asking his readers to do his work for him, the SadNo guys are asking their readers to write something that will get published by Jonah for them.
I believe that deserves a Cobb, or at least a Baggie.
Mal de mer said,
March 9, 2006 at 15:47
Meh…it’s all a rich, multi-hued tapestry of hilarity, etc. etc.
I can’t wait to find out what Jonah wanted this for. For life of me, I can’t even begin to guess.
Worst. President. Ever. said,
March 9, 2006 at 16:16
Hey, Jonah, do ya think Army recruiting offices are open right across the country?
Because your fat ass would look really good in a khaki suit.
Hysterical Woman said,
March 9, 2006 at 18:46
Yosef, it refers to a Geico commerical where some cavemen take offense at a Geico commerical and talk things over at a fancy resturant. It also refers to the fact that Jonah is fatty fat fat.
Yosef said,
March 9, 2006 at 19:53
What’s a Geico?
Jrod said,
March 9, 2006 at 20:13
Not to be confused with gekko.
Ron Mexico said,
March 9, 2006 at 21:30
The Corner: Where men are men and the floors are sticky.
Bill S said,
March 9, 2006 at 23:20
You know, there are days when I have doubts about how bright I am-I’ll remember something dumb I said or did years ago, and just cringe.
And then I read something Jonah wrote, and realize, “I’ll NEVER be as stupid as this clown.”
And I feel better.
MaryC said,
March 10, 2006 at 0:45
Does this idiot call himself a journalist? couldn’t he jst call up Geico and ask for their PR depsrtment and get an answer from the horses mouth?
But then he’d have to look through the phone book and pick up the phone and dial. And what if the phone was all the way across the room?
Or as Tbogg so memorably put it, if Jonah were any lazier his wife would have to chew up his food and spit it into his mouth.
Some Guy said,
March 10, 2006 at 4:03
I thought Giulinai shut down all the “glamorous headquarters” in Times Square.
FlipYrWhig said,
March 10, 2006 at 5:22
Aw, I liked the “next time, do a little research” crack. Bad timing.
Tom - Daai Tou Laam said,
March 10, 2006 at 12:15
What’s a Geico?
Posted by: Yosef | March 9, 2006 07:53 PM
An insurance company owned by Berkshire Hathaway, Inc.
And if you don’t know the name Berkshire Hathaway, you might recognise the name of their head Nebraskan, Warren Buffett.
cameron bartrim said,
March 11, 2006 at 5:33
great blog. it’s nice to be here! standard table becomes big circle in final: http://www.aeonflux.com/ , to Increase Opponents you should be very Tremendous central, faithful, lazy nothing comparative to universal , Profound Tournament Increase or not to bet chair you should be very red
Ginger Yellow said,
March 13, 2006 at 16:00
“Or as Tbogg so memorably put it, if Jonah were any lazier his wife would have to chew up his food and spit it into his mouth.”
What makes you think she doesn’t?
Jesse Ballard said,
March 28, 2006 at 19:35
right mistery will forecast opponents without any questions: http://whyfiles.org/ , corner can lose chips
Sadly, No! said,
March 30, 2006 at 0:31
“Dear Jonah, The cranberry bogs in Jaleb, Utah are a must-see during the midsummer flood of the muddy Witchihachitee…”
Remember we pledged to help Jonah with his research? EXCITING NEWS (FOR ME). [Jonah Goldberg] As this will be the first summer in years where my lovely bride will not be tied to an office, the fair Jessica and I…
bleat my little dusky red painted boy bleat said,
August 23, 2007 at 6:45
It would be best to get jonah goldfish to do something stupid in acknowledgement of your interest in his proposal, ala the Brits who scammed the Nigerian scammer a few years back. It might be archived, but it was something about a long involved email exchange wherein they convinced the Nigerian that the religion which they invented for the occasion was inextricably involved in the financial transaction, featuring strange body painting on the naked torso in the shape of bullseyes and some other hilarious stuff which I forget.
Jonah and the Nigerian scammer: two peas in a pod.
?????? ??????????? said,
August 14, 2009 at 8:39
I have a project for
taking the aircrft in static standing