If that performance of Der Rosenkavalier unnerved him, I hope he never goes to see Shakespeare’s masterpiece, King Leer.

Hey, did you know I watched a guy getting a simulated blow job on-stage during a performance of Der Rosenkavalier in Salzburg?

And he took notes.

“Nordlinger” would actually be a good name for a simulated blowjob.

Trotskyites are lefties in the traditional sense? News to me! Here I thought one strain of communist revolution couldn’t stand competition.

“After losing her editor position at NRO, K-Lo tried to get a spot in the burgeoning plus-sized conservative porn industry, but was turned away because she would only do Nordlingers, not the real thing.”

“As I’ve said many times, I shudder to think what NRO readers are sending left-wing writers (if they send). I like to think, but can’t be sure, that their missives are less crude and uncivilized than the ones I have received.”

Of course you can’t be sure, Jay. Of course you can’t.

Ow, right in the Nordlinger. That’s gotta hurt.

Move along, move along. Don’t let your Nordlinger.

“And I also think of a song I often think of — an old, hippie song: “Teach Your Children Well.” It’s so true. Every generation, you get people who know nothing: and the world fills their heads, and hearts, with what it will. That filling makes a staggering amount of difference.”

I also think of songs I often think of. I think of them, often. Many of them are old hippie songs about people who know nothing and so the world fills their heads with tasty custard filling. It fills their heads up. That that filling is not lemon or chocolate filling makes a staggering amount of difference. It’s so true.

D. Aristophanes and his readers are nasty, vile, depraved, hateful, cruel, ignorant and stupid.

Flattery will get you nowhere, Nordlinger!

Continuing:

Anyway, Straw is a man I have time for — regardless of the myriad complaints I might have, or you might have.”

He just serves ’em up on silver platters, don’t he? He does seem to have ample time for straw men, regardless of … aw fuck it. Too easy to be any fun.

hee-hee. Jay isn’t one to get all wee-weed!
ho-ho, writing Jay nasty, hateful, even sexual stuff is a no-no!
ha-ha, Jay’s gone running off for his ma-ma.

“These are Americans? This is how Americans talk to political writers they disagree with, or think they disagree with? This is how they talk to perfect strangers?”

c.f.

Nazi imagery and a poster of President Obama as an African witch doctor were popular images.

Or perhaps, this wonderful example of America.

Incidentally, I was going to poke fun of how prudishly purdish Jay Prude-linger is, but I guy who ranks things “nasty < hateful <nudge> <wink> <wink> </say more>

Woah, breakout FAIL.

Here’s what I meant:
… but a guy who ranks things “nasty < hateful <nudge> <wink> <wink> </say more>

Whoah, double breakout FAIL.

I’m throwing in the towel.

Okay, I can’t help myself, I’m totally bored today and it’s not time to start drinking yet, so here’s another Nordingly gem:

Nasty, hateful, even sexual stuff.

Not only NASTY and HATEFUL — that would be bad enough — but EVEN SEXUAL STUFF as well!!! Smidley! My smelling salts, quickly!

Jeezus H. Christ I would have flunked my sophomore journalism students for such wretched prose. And then shot them.

I remember an early lesson I had in how the Left — the hard Left — hates liberals. Standard American-style liberals.

Unlike Jay’s people.

That filling makes a staggering amount of difference.

Nerdflinger likes a whipped cream filling.

….and it’s not time to start drinking yet, ….

I’m sorry, mznicky, while normally my reading comprehension is pretty high, this combination of words is incomprehensible.

My goodness, does somebody actually pay him to string together those stupid, insignificant, random brain farts?

He calls himself a ‘political writer.’ Pfft. He’d first have to know something about politics, then he’d have to know something about writing.

BTW, I say we stop calling them ‘teabaggers.’ I think we should just come right out and tell it like it is. They’re scrotum suckers.

Or nibblers. Scrotum nibblers.

I mean, seriously. This guy gets PAID for this? Probably has health insurance, too. Fucker. Eh what the hell, I’m poppin’ a beer. 5 o’clock somewhere and all.

“Nasty, hateful, even sexual stuff. Depraved” followed by thoughts on nudie posters, looking/not looking at blowjobs, thoughts of eating ice cream afterward, leading to a discussion of Ben and Jerry’s Hubby-Hubby…

…and Freud just exploded.

Thank you, Mr. Noodlinger.

Der Rosenkavalier starts with 2 chicks in bed, one of them pretending to be a dude. Opera is HOT.

followed by thoughts on nudie posters, looking/not looking at blowjobs
That filling makes a staggering amount of difference.

He starts out musing on the peculiar animosity between the marxist left and pro-capitalist liberalism, but by the Ben & Jerry’s anecdote they are once again synonymous.

Surely I’m not the only one who has noticed Nerdflinger, Loededhosen and K-Load all have the same “writing” “style.”

Matching brain injuries, side effect of teh Kool-Aid or an intense hatred of their 5th grade English teachers?

Nordlinger’s post reminds me of the Greenwald post someone linked yesterday, in which G. links HTML’s civility v. decency post. Nordlinger is one of the civilly indecent, with a heaving breast and many an “oh Lawks” at the bad manners of those who think war crimes, torture, etc are something worth getting het up about.

I used to linger at Cafe du Nord in San Francisco, way back when they used to book jazz and had jam sessions and stuff.

Thank god for that collection of “Zombietime” photos of people wishing Bush ill.

The existence of that collection proves that liberals are just as bad as any conservatives who criticize Obama – and by doing so, it excuses “The Right” from any and every instance of crossing the line into abject violent or racist rhetoric.

“Why, somebody was carrying a sign that showed Obama in a pimp outfit, greedily eating a watermelon? That’s nothing! I could show you a photo of somebody in 2003 carrying a sign that says that Bush deserves the death penalty for war crimes!”

Jeezus H. Christ I would have flunked my sophomore journalism students for such wretched prose. And then shot them.

Come on, now! Nordlinger’s really a remarkable writer. Every single one of his columns sounds as though it had been dashed off at the last minute by a writer who realized that he had absolutely nothing to say this week.

Jonah’s columns are the same way, of course…but he has the honesty to admit it.

I remember an early lesson I had in how the Left — the hard Left — hates liberals.

Must we bust out the Phil Ochs again?

Love Me, I’m a Liberal
By Phil Ochs

I cried when they shot Medgar Evers
Tears ran down my spine
I cried when they shot Mr. Kennedy
As though I’d lost a father of mine
But Malcolm X got what was coming
He got what he asked for this time
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I go to civil rights rallies
And I put down the old D.A.R.
I love Harry and Sidney and Sammy
I hope every colored boy becomes a star
But don’t talk about revolution
That’s going a little bit too far
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I cheered when Humphrey was chosen
My faith in the system restored
I’m glad the commies were thrown out
Of the A.F.L. C.I.O. board
I love Puerto Ricans and Negros
As long as they don’t move next door
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

The people of old Mississippi
Should all hang their heads in shame
I can’t understand how their minds work
What’s the matter don’t they watch Les Crane?
But if you ask me to bus my children
I hope the cops take down your name
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I read New Republic and Nation
I’ve learned to take every view
You know, I’ve memorized Lerner and Golden
I feel like I’m almost a Jew
But when it comes to times like korea
There’s no one more red, white and blue
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I vote for the democtratic party
They want the U.N. to be strong
I go to all the Pete Seeger concerts
He sure gets me singing those songs
I’ll send all the money you ask for
But don’t ask me to come on along
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

Once I was young and impulsive
I wore every conceivable pin
Even went to the socialist meetings
Learned all the old union hymns
But I’ve grown older and wiser
And that’s why I’m turning you in
So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I said to Kathryn Lopez and Jonah Goldberg, “Is it always this bad?” They said, no, not really: In the most intense political periods, the “animal spirits” come out. That was Jonah’s phrase — “animal spirits.”

Just call ’em Nazis, Jay. That’s civil.

Not to go all OT and shizzle, but how is Dr. Mrs.?

In just a few very short paragraphs, Nordlinger calls us crude (twice), stupid, ignorant, vile (twice), nasty, hateful, depraved, untouchable, un-American, animalistic, uncivilized… and (gasp) sexual.

Makes me damn proud.

Don’t know I got this job. Can’t write worth a hill of beans. An expression. Ever see one? A hill of beans? Lot of beans piled up. Not an actual “hill,” of course. Conservatives know not to take colloquial expressions literally. Have to admit, gets me somewhat riled up when liberals take them literally. Colloquial expressions. Or do I mean liberally? Is that a homophone? Or is that my cell phone. Wait–what?

Anyway, colloquials. Mentioned this to Jonah and he said, “Don’t get your animal spirits in a bunched pair of undies.” That was his word. Animal. Well it would be.

Wonder if he knows Marx used the term. Animal spirits, and yes, THAT Marx. Must ask him some time. What was I talking about?

So some mendacious shitweasel is preparing for reports of uncouth behaviour from right-wing / racist protestors, by making a preemptive assertion that the people who aren’t protesting are under the sway of their animalistic pack mentality?
What’s on the other channel?

What’s on the other channel?

Hopefully Der Rosenkavalier.

Der Rosenkavalier starts with 2 chicks in bed, one of them pretending to be a dude. Opera is HOT.

Now that you’ve sent everyone off to bit-torrent a production, don’t you think you should warn them about the boy / boy drag scene as well?

The Baron receives a slight wound in the arm in the fracas and cries bloody murder.
— It even has a Waaaahmbulance!

So I was just about to make some tea, and I was all like, “Dammit! It’s September 13… Fuck you, Glenn Beeeeeeeeck!”

I shall have coffee in its stead.

Nordlinger: At a lunch with some friends, I mentioned this, and how distracting, wrong, and ghastly it was.

Speaking of boy/boy drag, does anyone use the word “ghastly” in everyday conversation besides Nordlinger, Franklin Pangborn, or Dr. Zacahary Smith from Lost in Space?

That zombieland thing definitely proves that the left has cooler zombies, and also that wingnut zombies are in SERIOUS need of BRANES, like this one just slides right by the fact that the protests against bush didn’t occur for real until the invasion of Iraq and the ensuing clusterfuck, whereas the scrotum suckers (I like that–or wait how about ballwashers?) were on Obama almost from the get-go. But his point about how the media never covered the people at the antiwar rallies who said ‘death to bush’ etc, is pretty much true, mostly because the media never bothered to fucking cover antiwar rallies AT ALL. I mean shit it took Cindy Sheehan camping out at Crawford for a whole month to get even a begrudging 15 minutes of coverage (before she was of course quickly marginalized as a left-wing whacko) otherwise protesters were treated like bratty children that you could pretty much just put in a corner and ignore.

Lindsay Beyerstein: Kibbe [in saying 1.5 mil @ #912dc]…did the equivalent of telling people that his penis is 53″ long.

bahaha.

Now that you’ve sent everyone off to bit-torrent a production, don’t you think you should warn them about the boy / boy drag scene as well?

Nein nein, nein nein!

bahaha

Even their fucking dog is white!

the left has cooler zombies

DAMN straight.

Ours get to hang out and comment and snark, and theirs get to shamble around and bump into walls and shit.

We got Rage Virus zombies, the wingnuts got Romero zombies, only stupider and slower.

Or, if I may suggest a painfully obscure reference, they have Mrúr, we have Jagji.

I see a role for wingnuts as terrifying extras in The Road. They’d be cannibalizing before the shelves at Walmart emptied out.

We got Rage Virus zombies

true, true.

I do wish to point out though, that I was all over Bush’s ass from the get-go also.

I read Molly Ivins’ books, you see. She had that weiner NAILED.

She had that weiner NAILED.

Not-VEILED OW OW OW DO NOT WANT reference.

If anyone wants me, I’ll be over here in a fetal position.

Zombietime: “This is not some wrongheaded attempt at a tu quoque logical fallacy; in other words, I’m not trying to claim that death threats against Bush in the past justify threats against Obama now. Not at all. What I’m saying is that present-day threats to Obama at protests should be investigated — yet previous threats to Bush at protests weren’t investigated, which I think is inexcusable. Threats to the president aren’t excusable now, and weren’t excusable in the past — and yet death threats against Bush at protests seem to have been routinely ignored for years (and readers who have any evidence showing that the threateners depicted below were ever prosecuted for threatening the president, please tell me and I’ll update this essay with the new info).”

So it’s not a tu quoque, it’s an argumentum ad ignorantiam. Gotcha.

yet previous threats to Bush at protests weren’t investigated, which I think is inexcusable.

Ummmmmm, exsqueeze me?

In an era where simply making comments about Bush being a bad Preznit to the guy next to you at the gym could earn you a visit from the Secret Service?

Also, Nerdlinger, show me alll the people who were allowed within a mile of His Highness Dopey the Preznit, much less all the ones carrying automatic rifles.

unless that wasn’t Nerdlinger.

Anyway, central to my point u.s.w.

D. Aristophanes is indeed nasty and depraved. Depraved nasty and not truthful. Mendacious. What would you think of a blogger who led you to believe that hot action awaited and a nice wee-weeing could be expected by you if you lingered in the bathrooms in the lower levels of the Lexington Passage? Hot action with Anderson Cooper types. Anderson Cooper types with animal spirits. Would have you believe that there is a lower level to the Lexington Passage in the first place. Various Metro North personnel consulted and all insist the Lexington Passage is only at street level despite firm assurances returned to them on the order of they must be mistaken. Ultimately true though. No downstairs to it and no public bathrooms anywhere on the upper level. I rate for Tom. Wee wee.

Am I the only one who, when he sees this name “Nordlinger”, sees “Nerdlinger” and thinks about the Edward G. Robinson character in Good Neighbor Sam, the “Family Values” client whose ass Jack Lemmon had to kiss? The whole pearl-clutching at “bad language” just reminds me of him somehow.

Hey, Nordlinger.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooou.

Now, hold on a second… The guy is “proud to be a teabagger”, but can’t take the jokes that naturally ensue from this position of his? I thought the whole point was defiance in the face of ridicule? What is the point here?

This one caught my eye right away:

And I am reminded: You never really win. You never really close the case for an open economy, and the open society. You have to fight for these things, year after year, decade after decade, century after century. The socialists and collectivists never rest, never let up.

You see, Mr. Nordlinger, in an open, democratic nation (which the United States still is), there will always be groups who oppose each other politically. Sorry to bust your bubble there.

His book is called “Here, There & Everywhere” – which describes his “thought”-processes perfectly.
Holy fork – he writes like a cat with severe earmites.

BASIC ENGLISH WRITING, MOTHERFUCKER – CAN YOU GOOGLE IT?

Whatever D.A. & Co. said to him, it wasn’t nearly nasty enough.

His book is called “Here, There & Everywhere”

That’d make a great song title.

Holy fork – he writes like a cat with severe earmites.

Oh, I’m stealing that—but my cat is very offended, I’ll have you know.

LOL – no, did he really? So funny. What a maroon.

“Hey, did you know I watched a guy getting a simulated blow job on-stage during a performance of Der Rosenkavalier in Salzburg?”

To think: I was naiver enough to believe that this part of the shorter was completely made up.

And he gets paid for this drunken rant. That’s what burns my butt.

I know … I get bupkus for MY drunken rants … but at least I’m not a bald goofball with the vapors, so it all works out in the end

You have to fight for these things, year after year, decade after decade, century after century. The socialists and collectivists never rest, never let up.

We can’t rest or let up. If we try to, Kim Jong-il activates the computer chips he implanted in our cerebral pain centers.

To think: I was naiver enough to believe that this part of the shorter was completely made up.

It was a fucking tiger, man!

If we try to, Kim Jong-il activates the computer chips he implanted in our cerebral pain centers.

You got computer chips? Luxury! Castro just sends a guy with a bat to my house, and he breaks my ankles if I haven’t kept up my quota.

Looxury! When I were boy Castro just sent round bat and I had to break my own ankles.

The socialists and collectivists never rest, never let up.
Someone has watched Terminator too many times.

I was thinking someone has watched Galaxy Quest too many times.
“Never give up, never surrender!”

You had a bat? Dammit, Castro would make me hack off my own left arm and use that to break my ankles.

“Writes like a cat with severe ear mites.”

Holy shit that rules.

I am constantly amazed by how much today’s so called conservatives, even while blasting us for being “immature” manage to act exactly like my young daughter (who is now 4). GW Bush smirked like a 2 year old, and now Nordlinger here is sounding like a four year old when he was complaining about the simulated blow jobs, etc.

It’s like the time I took my daughter to a restaurant (while my wife was having her hair done). For some reason they were playing a scary movie on the TeeVee (or actually some stupid Disney version of a scary movie on the TeeVee, but certainly still something we wouldn’t let our daughter watch at home). So what did my daughter do? She complained about the movie on TeeVee and how she wasn’t supposed to watch it and didn’t want to watch it. Did she just ignore the movie though? Of course not … she stared at it and then complained about how scary it was.

And I know that my daughter is good enough at ignoring my wife and I … so it isn’t as if she is incapable of ignoring stuff. So why did she stare at the movie even if it was something she clearly found disturbing? Well … because she’s 4 and that’s how 4 year olds act.

So what’s Nordlinger’s excuse for acting like a 4 year old?

Oh I can argues just like teh Jonah?

Nordlinger’s commie prof. disdained liberals as do conservatives. Thus, conservatives are a bunch of commies. That conservatives are considered right wing and commies leftists is in fact central to my point.

“Holy shit that rules.”

Thanks … it would rule much less hard if it weren’t true … yet the world would be just a little bit nicer if it were rhetorical baloney.

Paradox, irony, Zen-Dadaism or Gorgonzola?
I retort – you decide.

If we’re all gonna start drinkin’, I’ll have the animal spirits, thanks.

As I’ve said many times, I shudder to think what NRO readers are sending left-wing writers (if they send). I like to think, but can’t be sure, that their missives are less crude and uncivilized than the ones I have received.

Fuck, at least our grammar is correct!

Der Rosenkavalier starts with 2 chicks in bed, one of them pretending to be a dude. Opera is HOT.

Does it involve nordlingus?

but at least I’m not a bald goofball with the vapors, so it all works out in the end

You, sir, have now crossed over the line!

WOLVERINES NAKED MOLE RATS!!!!!11!!

You should all be ashamed of yourselves!

I followed the link over to Nordlinger’s page, and, damn, why the fuck would anyone bother to rattle the guy’s cage? Nothing worth even spitting on. You’ld expect even people who are obvioulsy wrong to have strung together some at least beginning of an argument, or point of view, that might conceivably fool others, and is therefore worth at least deconstructing into something worth spitting on, even if you have to do all the work just to get it into something substantial enough to even despise. But I read this Nordlinger’s random musings as long as I coud stand, and couldn’t locate a pulse to stop, or even a place to drive in a wooden stake. Leave poor little Jay aloooone! Please.

I know, I know. However dumb, the argument goes, organs like the NatRev have, or at least recently had, enormous power in shaping the debate, etc. Well, I don’t buy it. This crap succeeded 99% because of lack of competition, and only 1% because of how powerful it was to influence people’s minds. It’s like political commercials. A bunch of weak crap, which even on its own terms as advertising, wouldn’t get people to buy bar one of soap. It seems so powerful in deciding elections only because there’s no real discourse out there competing with it. The idea that anyone could ever be influenced to do anything by Nordlinger’s Impromptus but take a nap is ludicrous.