BRAAANES

just wati

jsut wait

wust jait

fcuk it

YFPW

stop just stop

President Camacho: Shit. I know shit’s bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

South Carolina Representative # 1: That’s what you said last time, dipshit!

South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you’re a dick! South Carolina, what’s up!

?????

Profit!

Heh… I just got a message from SN: “You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.”

There is only one long thread.

There can be only ONE long thread.

‘shorter’ threads need not apply, as they are often posted too quickly.

Me. Make. Long.

Veiled PENIS reference?

My thread is already lengthening.

And there is only one Zombie Rotten McDonald

I have thread but I need it for darning.

I have dread but I need it for thaning. Cawdor, motherfuckers!

Possibly that last comment would have been even awesomer had my name-switch to “Macbeth” actually “taken.” Goddamnit.

I’ll add my POOP to the pile. Also.

This is not the post I had in mind.

This is not the post you’re looking for… *mystical hand wave*

WHy do liberals hate freedom so much?

Really, can you get any freer than people are here?

You wouldn’t know what to do w/ “freedom” if someone handed it to you w/ your Chee-tos® & Gold Bond.

Hell, you wouldn’t even know what it was.

“Ma! What’s this on my tray?”

for shooting the zom-bee, coat your bullets in datura.
it worked great in one of my 3d movies.

Doncha just hate it when you write a post with the intention to put in the first five comments and then somebody beats you to frist on your own post? It triggers me man…it gritters me nam…it mittens me gran…it glitters like flan…it. Also.

Is that a leaf-blower in your pocket?

The diet of a zombie is a zombiet?

I guess this makes sense…

Post-it Note Reminder: Don’t forget what happened at some point in the past. Important things happened! Remembering them is crucial. Otherwise they win. And we lose. Our. Memories.

Watch this. No zombies here.

Don’t forget what happened at some point in the past.
Which one?

Which one?

All of them! Forget not a one! Crucial!!!!!. Once lost, never regained!!! It would be so MUCH better if there were someway to keep these memories stored for future reference! Never forget! Remember all! Many, many Post-it Notes!!!!!!!

Why does Freedom hate libruls so?

Never forget! Remember all! Many, many Post-it Notes!!!!!!!

I just posted a Post-it to remind me of the time I posted a Post-it.

Wingnut speak/thought is easy.

Step 1: No caffeine.

Step 2: Insert ice pick into ear to handle, jiggle.

Step 3: Huff paint brush cleaner.

Step 4: Post-it notes. Begin sticking.

Step 5:???

Step 6: Fropit!!!

No, no, which past. If you don’t like your backstory, we can write you a new one.
Away to feck with your pos-tit notes. Tattoos not good enough for you young punks?

Clinton was outgoing and very social. However. Bush was socailer. Now we have Obama who is socialest. But why must we stop the socailest?

socailest = socialest.

My dyspepsia..um distemper…er distopia…well, I just can’t type.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.

It’s a series of pos-tit notes.

And if you don’t understand those notes can be filled and if they are filled, when you write your message on, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts onto that pos-tit note enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

No, no, which past.

The old not new one.

Last year’s model.

WHy do liberals hate freedom so much?

Because it attacked me with a lawnmower.

I think D. was up drinking later than I was. Celebrating the New Studebaker Model i’ll bet!!

personally, I am not looking forward to the post-tit future.

How to make Elderberry Popguns
The Barrel

Select a long straight stalk at least one foot in length, and then work to pull and push out the spoungy center. This is the barrel.

The Ramrod
Next make a ramrod out of a piece of hickory. On the one end, leave the bark on for a large handle of about three inches.

Then cut (real kids whittle) the rest of the hickory into a long round stick-like section, slightly smaller in diameter than the barrel.

The Ammo
Take a piece of paper, soak it in water (real kids chaw their own paper, on the spot) and make a wad which you insert into the end of the barrel so that it’s fairly tight.

A second wad is then inserted into the opposite end.

Firing
With one swift shove of the Ramrod, the air between the wads is compressed to such a high degree that the first wad fires out with a satisfying bang!

Celebrating the New Studebaker Model i’ll bet!!

Wait! Did something happen? Are all hopes Dashed? Must remember!

Quick! A Post-it note!

And there is only one Zombie Rotten McDonald

Yeah, but let him get a little bitey and pretty soon woah hey! Zombie jamboree!

Zombie jamboree!

Also known as a “Zombathon.”

“Zomstock” is a lesser-known usage.

“Zomstock” is a lesser-known usage.

please please please let the zombie chicks KEEP their tops on…

Zompalooza?

What do we want?

BRANES!

When do we want it?

BRANES!!!

Zombopalooza.

Zombie-a-go-go.

Zoms-a-poppin

ZombiFest.

zrm-the zombnipotent zomnivore.

please please please let the zombie chicks KEEP their tops on…

Too late: http://i34.tinypic.com/51vuhz.jpg

But maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you think: http://www.worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/zombie-pinup.jpg

Welcome to Zombieland!

Zombie, or not Zombie. Is that the question?

Me blogwhore. Me sorry, take up ur tiem.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

Too late: http://i34.tinypic.com/51vuhz.jpg

Compared to some of my past “closing time” adventures (and the morning, post- mortem* cringe) I’d say that looks pretty damn good. This Post-it note says so. Right here.

*Step right up. I teed it up all nice and purty-like.

Too late: http://i34.tinypic.com/51vuhz.jpg

MY EYES! ZE GOGGLES! ETC!

But maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you think: http://www.worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/zombie-pinup.jpg

Um, ‘scuse me, Ma’am, but you might want to put some Neosporin on that…

DRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

D.A. will be so proud when he comes to….

Me blogwhore. Me sorry, take up ur tiem.

Nice post, actor.

It’s a sunny day here in Columbia SC this morning… much like it was eight years ago in Manhattan.

Scary shit isn’t supposed to happen on sunny days.

Me blogwhore. Me sorry, take up ur tiem.

You go right ahead there, young man. But keep off the grass, OK?

(Anna some healing thoughts to NYC. I remember how the 1989 earthquake left powerful, long-wave memories in the Bay Area. Different, yes, but a little the same, I think.)

Welcome to Zombieland!

That is pure hate-video.

Woody harrelson must have been really stoned.

Zombie Plumber said,

DRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

Springsteen said it best in his song, when he called the skies “an unbelievable blue”.

They were. It was cloudless right up to the contrails of the F-16s that came in way too late.

ZRM–I ran across that one a few nights ago. Can’t wait to see this movie! Looks like the lighter side of World War Z. Shaun of the Dead, with out the Rom-Com.

And when was the last time, honestly, that Woody Harrelson looked not-stoned?

the contrails of the F-16s that came in way too late.

Yesss. Many levels of yes on that.

P

E

The only problem with Zombieland…apart from the blatant beingism of the film…is the advocacy of using chainsaws. It strikes me that most yahoos couldn’t swing a chainsaw carefully if you spotted them a Kevlar suit.

In other words, they are likely to make more zombies than they…to be politically correct to our zombie brethren…neutralize.

N

I

Oops. Interrupted DKW’s skywriting…

FYWP.

S

Stop him!

There’s an I in there, but WordPress ate the most phallic member of my bag of dicks.

I drive the zomboni at the hockey rink.

Heh. There is no “I” in penis. Heh.

PENS?

Um, OK, Pens!

I drive the zomboni at the hockey rink.

Well of course you do. It scrapes the branes offa the ice.

Resulting in: Branesicles!

This weird obsession youse all have with Zombies. Please EXPLAAANNNNEEESSSSS.

There’s not enough PENS in this thread.

I haven’t seen “Zombieland” yet, but it seems, from the trailer, to be a sensitive, thoughtful exploration of man’s struggle to find meaning in an uncaring universe, faced with the stark reality of his ultimate solitude in the face of the indifference and hostility of ZOMBIES!!!

What’s a zombie’s favourite road movie?

Brains, Branes and Automobranes.

Muriel, what are you doing with those green beans?

PEN911S
There. I got the propane tanks all set up in the grate for when Saddam Claus flies down my flaming towerchimney.

I drive the zomboni at the hockey rink.

Well of course you do. It scrapes the branes offa the ice.

I know some hockey players. You’ll find no branes there.

Why did the zombie cross the road?
BRANES.

How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb?
BRANES.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
BRANES.

A priest, a rabbi and a zombie walk into a BRANES.

Same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over BRANES.

I know some hockey players. You’ll find no branes there.

As a former hockey player, I resemble that remark!

I mean, resent that resemblance!

I mean…uhhhhhhhhhhh…PENS!

Not to step on the shtick, so to speak but given my personal obsession:

Muriel, what are you doing with those green beranes?

Fecksed?

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

Did you guys know George Romero has done TWO new “Dead” movies since “Land Of The Dead”?

Including “Diary of The Dead”, which is the opening part of the crisis. I GOT to see that. For some reason, the opening hours/days fascinate me the most.

I were a hockey player too. Anda I know where my branes are. Inna Zomboni.

Oh – and he’s working on a third, due out later this year.

A priest, a rabbi and a zombie walk into a BRANES.

and end up in a universe where the laws of physics are totally different and they all disintegrate ’cause the weak force is weaker.

…um, not funny, I know, but it’s early.

just wati
jsut wait
wust jait
fcuk it

I’m trying to decipher what’s being said here. It looks like some kind of warning about members of the Society of Jesus wearing psuedo-hipster clothes from Italy.

An appropriate song for the present subject:

http://www.twilightcreationsinc.com/zombies/milltowndemons.mp3

Including “Diary of The Dead”, which is the opening part of the crisis.

Saw it.

All I can say is it was a piece of pretentious garbage with just one thing going for it.

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

Lunch Lady said,

Muriel, what are you doing with those green beans?

I smell a rat here…

Zombie Roger Ebert: when you give two thumbs down, you give two. Thumbs. DOWN.

Prepare
Everyone
Nativity
September

Dashiell will be born this very day!

Zombielocks and the Three Branes

“This one is much tooBRANES”

Dashiell will be born this very day!

Unto you this day is born in Jerusalem Boston a Studie…

It strikes me that most yahoos couldn’t swing a chainsaw carefully if you spotted them a Kevlar suit.

Sounds like they need Bruce Campbell.

“You’ll want to take your bumbrella: the forecast calls for…”

OHNO!

Lunch Lady was zombified!

Lunchroom Lady Zombie

Sounds like they need Bruce Campbell

I would have settled for Ken Foree.

Why are we talking about PENS?

PENS!

Well-hung PENS!

“Heh. There is no “I” in penis. Heh.”

Actually, there is one eye in penis…

Springsteen said it best…

Yes–and in The Rising, did so repeatedly. Sigh.

Be careful how you spell PENSI

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

It’s nice to see so many zombies doing such meaningful work, not like those Messican zombies taking away working class jobs from American zombies.

Also.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

QUATRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

PLAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

QUARTERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINES!

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

BRAYYYYYYYYYYYYINS!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

The long thread

And the long thread PIN-IS!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

Doug Giles’ daughter? A prostitute?

argh, frickin nyms…

BRAAAAAAAAAAAANGELINAS!

In addition to being the father of a failing prostitute, Doug Giles is also– and I use the term loosely, an artist

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

This is not a comment.

I don’t MAKE comments … I AM comments.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

Comtemn thisa niots

My kingdom for horse BRAAAAAAANES!

Go ahead, punk… make my comment!

How to make Elderberry Popguns

I & my fellow callow thugs used to use this same principle to turn Bic pens into “Orange Guns” – & I narrowly missed nailing a substitute-teacher in the mug with one. Ah, youth – a shame it’s wasted on kids.

Claire DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

REFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

Zombie David Bowie said,

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

FTW!

That’s going to be impossible to top…

-…
.-.
.-
-.
.
…

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

Zombie David Bowie said,

September 11, 2009 at 17:20

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

So Zombie David Bowie is no different than live David Bowie?

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

Zombie Samuel Morse said,

September 11, 2009 at 17:21

.- .-.. – …. — ..- –. …. / – …. .- – / -.-. — — . … / -.-. .-.. — … .

AS I NOW FIND MYSELF FEELING DECIDEDLY PECKISH, I BELIEVE THAT THE GURGITATION OF A SIGNIFIGANT QUANTITY OF HUMAN CEREBRAL TISSUE AS COMESTIBLES TO SATIATE MY CURRENT GASTRIC DEFICIT WOULD BE HIGHLY TOOTHSOME & REFRESHING!

Uhoh

————–

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The eighth anniversary of 9/11. There is no better day I can think of to tear you communists a new one than this. What’s the matter? Are you commie pigs that unpatriotic that one of your ever talented bloggers couldn’t put up a post honoring the victims of the 9/11 attacks?

Oh that’s right, I almost forgot. Your sympathy and compassion is with the innocent islamic “freedom fighters” who were only “reacting” against “evil western imperialism.”

I got something to say to you commie rat bastards on this most hallowed of days.

THIS IS AMERICA! LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!

You’ve just recieved a smack down by the 9/11 avenger!

OH YEAH!

You’ve just recieved a smack down by the 9/11 avenger!

You dishonor the memory of the people who died by claiming vengeance.

Vengeance is the Lord’s, not yours, so shut up or be eaten.

Did you guys hear about the tits that eat bats?

Meme ache longth red?

Please, don’t feed the tool

Customer: It’s not much of a brains shop, is it?
Owner: Finest in the district!
Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Owner: Well, it’s so clean, sir!
Customer: It’s certainly uncontaminated by brains….

Hey 9/11 Avenger, it’s been 8 years, Bin Laden is still out there. Avenge already!!!

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The fact is, BRANES!

Been feeding zombies all morning, can’t see the harm in feeding a troll now and then. After all, if anybody really needed brains it would be the troll.

GAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSS!

or “Stockbroker”, even.

yeesh.

Yo actor, what up baby? Maybe you commie rat bastards should demand vengence against the barbarian hordes from the islamic dark ages instead of against you own patriotic countrymen like Bush and Cheney whose only crime was having the tenacity to defend America and avenge innocent blood.

Maybe you punk ass bitches should go ahead and move to one of your islamic paradises. Let’s see how your sainted sacraments of gay rights and feminism are tolerated over there shall we.

Oh yeah!

actor 212 just recieved a smack down from the 9/11 Avenger!

Which one of you commie bitches is next?

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

HUSEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIINNNNNNNS!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

Hey, Troofie, when you going to get a job that actually helps people on this National Day of Service?

We’re doing our part, why aren’t you?

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

Typical right winger: sets up a strawman argument, proceeds to demonstrate it’s made of the finest straw, then declares victory, turns tail and runs.

Just like Bush!

I just pooped my pants!

I feel so alone

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!

Party on, WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNE!

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!
Stop this crazy thing! Help!
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

Come back, SHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNEEEEEE!

PEEEEEEENNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS

Aw, jeez. Somebody has “adjusted” their meds.

Maybe you punk ass bitches should go ahead and move to one of your islamic paradises.

Okay, that’s hilarious.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANUS!

U HAZ BAAAAAAAAAAAAINS

I WAAAAAAAAAAAANTS DEM

I’m helping people by laying the SMACK DOWN on you commie punk bitches!

I can think of no better day to do so.

What’s the matter? Why weren’t you communists on board shouting for vengence after the worst terrorist attack in American history? Are three thousand of your fellow countrymen not worthy of being avenged?

Is it because they were citizens of capitialist Christian America that they deserved to die?

You commie rat bastards are the first to shout for blood when our brave military men kill third world savages.

Why the hatred against your own country?

I already know the answer.

You commie bitches have no sense of honor or patriotism. You scum will support anything that is destructive to American tradition and society.

THE SMACK DOWNS KEEP A COMIN!

OH YEAH!

Straw men! I gotz your straw men right here!

BOB KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

9/11 Avenger said

“Blah fuckin’ blah.”

You’re not tearing anyone a “new one” – you’re using thousands of dead people to jerk yourself off. Sad part being you probably won’t even get a lousy orgasm out of the deal when you’re done. Enjoying it yet?

Not too many “communists” here either, fucknut. Try an actual Communist website next time. PROTIP: Google can help you not to look like a big sack of total fail.

The best tribute you can make to all those who died 8 years ago is to STFU & think about why they actually died. Good job failing that, too, Mighty Hero.

After returning here for over a year, I’ve yet to see anyone here express an iota of “sympathy” for suicidal fanatics, be they Jihadi hijackers or right-wing dipshits shooting up churches. The Fail Trifecta – yours to keep & cherish!

Oh yeah, & since I’m not in America & never have been, I need neither love nor leave it. Come on back when your nuts drop & you get something resembling a clue – meanwhile, let the nice folks have some good clean fun for a fucking change … they still haven’t found a way to tax happy yet, but walking debris like you can surely put a steep surcharge on it.

PS – Barack Obama has now officially done an exponentially better job of protecting the USA & its citizenry than Commander Codpiece did (not that that’s really much of a feat, considering what an utter dolt he was from Day One).

Suck. On. That.

He’d show up when I don’t have access to the badger-filter, of course.

Zombie Pere Ubu:

MEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDREEEEEE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

GITAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

Archduke Arthur Blipkin-Blop said,

September 11, 2009 at 17:50

I feel so alone

So all alone.

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

CHILBLAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!

Are three thousand of your fellow countrymen not worthy of being avenged?

Is it because they were citizens of capitialist Christian America that they deserved to die?

All the Muslim victims and Jewish victims and atheist victims and Wiccan victims on those flights and in those buildings remind you this land is a melting pot and if you can’t meld in, you’re free to leave for a more fascist country.

Thank you.

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEEEES!

I’m still waiting for how Bush worked tirelessly to find Bin Laden, when he let the bin Ladens leave the country.

Cuz, you know, a little blackmail goes a long way, if you’re willing to sink to torture!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNN IN VAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN!

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

9/11 Avenger

Looks like Troofy tied a towel around his neck as a cape and is running around the living room playing superhero now….

Zombie Real Estate Developer said,
September 11, 2009 at 18:09
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

AHEM!

Looks like Troofy tied a towel around his neck as a cape and is running around the living room playing superhero now….

Except he forgot to cut eyeholes in mom’s sleeping mask…

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

(corrected nym from original post)

Can we go back to bread puns or something? All this tyo-shouting is making my eyeballs all hurty

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

Hundreds of people pretending to be zombies — but exactly one is real! Can you pick which?

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEEEE!

Can we go back to bread puns or something?

Those got kind of crummy.

INAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

Hundreds of people pretending to be zombies — but exactly one is real! Can you pick which?

Why does that make me think of the scene from the remake of “Dawn Of The Dead” where the guys in the mall are pointing out celebrity lookalikes for the gunstore guy across the street to shoot?

Lucy you got some ‘SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAININ’ to do!

Inbred?

Can we go back to bread puns or something?

Those got kind of crummy.

Also a little stale.

The BRAAAAAIIIIIIINESS in SPAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN fall MAAAAAAAAAIIIIINLY on the PLAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN

where the guys in the mall are pointing out celebrity lookalikes for the gunstore guy across the street to shoot?

That, or the scene from /Shaun of the Dead/ where the heroes try to blend in with the horde to get access to the pub. Neither one worked out terribly well for the non-zombies, as I recall.

You’re awfully crusty this morning, Wyatt.

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiins!

AQUITAAAAAAAAAAINE!

Troofy didn’t realise that when he heard about hitting his mother’s pot, people were talking about banging on a cooking implement.

Neither one worked out terribly well for the non-zombies, as I recall.

I thought it was delicious satire on Romero’s part to cast a Ted Nugent look-alike as the gun store guy who gets zombified anyway.

A look-alike shooting look-alikes. Perfect.

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE GRAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

TRAAAAAAAAAAINS!

SKEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYNE!

Welcome to the thread. Please watch your step to avoid the harball the cat yoiked up.

QUATRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINS!

STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

OK, that was a stretch…

Zombie Nostradamus said,

September 11, 2009 at 18:26

AHEM!

Neither one worked out terribly well for the non-zombies, as I recall.

It never does.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNEEEEEES!

INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE IN THE MEMBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

VEEEEEIIIIIIIINNNNNNNS…..

Been feeding zombies all morning, can’t see the harm in feeding a troll now and then. After all, if anybody really needed brains it would be the troll.

Na ga happen. You can try and feed a trool branes, but he ain’t gonna eat ’em. To paraphrase and earlier comment, he’ll point to them and say, “Mom! What’s this on my plate?!”

Of course, TroolMom will answer, “I have no idea, son.”

LODRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

braaaaaaaaaanes.

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!

L’il WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYNE

METHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNES!

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

McCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN’S!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

What’s with all the yelling and crying?

Buy more capital-As for the weekend.

LAKE CHAMPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

BRAINS! BRAAAAAAAINS!

*grabs Bleccccch*

*snif snif*

*releases Blechhh*

BRAINS! BRAAAAAINS!

You’re awfully crusty this morning, Wyatt.

Actually, I’m a little baked.

COBAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINES!

RENAAAMMMES!

DAVID BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINES!

Purple RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

No PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN, No GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN!

Oh, forgot to mention – according to MSNBC, John “Make Shit Up” Stossel is moving over to the FAUX Network.

I guess he finally figured out where he belonged.

Get a BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, MORAAAAAAAAAAANS!

CLAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIMS

KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!

B R [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] N E S

I think we have a winner here…

I WANT BUY BOWEL – URRR, I MEAN VOWEL, PAT

You love me! You really love me!!

8R@@@@@@@@@111111111111N2!

Ahhh, screw it – all those brains’ll just go straight to my hips anyway.

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

Do these BRAAAAAAAAAAANES make me look fat?

EAAAAARNS A BAAAAAAAA!

You know, THAT’S what to do in a zombie outbreak – sit at home, turn on the radio to Limbaugh or Hannity or whoever, and turn the volume up.

Zombies will hear the radio, figure you’re a wingnut, and leave to look for BRAAAAAAINS elsewhere.

I mean, yeah, it means having to listen to those assclowns, but I figure we all have to sacrifice in times of crisis.

Fuck, shakesville just triggered me: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/09/facts-about-zombies.html

LAAAAAAAAMMMMMMES

B R [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] N E S

You now post in VAAAAAIIIINNNN!

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE! Come back SHAAAAAAAAAAANE!

Umm, zommbie troll, I believe that should be:

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAMES

Zombie congrats to HTML!
~

Bonus points to the first one who comes up with a Zombie Glenn Greenwald joke.

Oh, forgot to mention – according to MSNBC, John “Make Shit Up” Stossel is moving over to the FAUX Network.

He confirmed on his own website.

Of course, it’s Stossel, so he still might be making shit up.

Zombie Joey Starrett said,

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE! Come back SHAAAAAAAAAAANE!

AH-HEM!

UPDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES!

I mean, yeah, it means having to listen to those assclowns, but I figure we all have to sacrifice in times of crisis.

So the choice is lose my brain to a horde of unfeeling, cold, vicious bastards…or have a zombie eat it?

Yep, Zombie Pat and Vanna win.

umm, bonus points to the first one to make a GOOD Zombie Glenn Greenwald joke.

PROTIP: Check your nym before posting…

So the choice is lose my brain to a horde of unfeeling, cold, vicious bastards…or have a zombie eat it?

That’s ALWAYS been the choice.

Somehow, I think the zombies would be less painful.

Way to make the contest much harder after publishing the directions, ZRM.
(updated below)

UPDATE: As happens so often on so many topics, Tom Tomorrow’s cartoon this week perfectly illustrates the “craziness” balance discussed here (click image to enlarge)
~

AH-HEM!

Dammit! I knew someone must have done it. I probably didn’t include enough AAAs in my search.

Twas me above.

Twas me above.

Thorlac from above! AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

SARBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES

DE PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!

OT (yeah, like there’s a topic)
Good news, the Bulldogs defeated the Lions handilly and will play in the preliminary finals next weekend. Now I just have to figure out how it can be preliminary and final at the same time. Silly Aussies.

Bulldogs? Lions? What is that, some who-cares faggy Euro shortpants game? Don’t you know it’s almost ROCKTOBER!

Don’t you mean SOXTOBER!

HUH INDOOD LIBS IT IS I ULTRAPUNDIT

What is that, some who-cares faggy Euro shortpants game?

Not at all! It is a who-cares faggy OCEANA shortpants game!

It is a who-cares faggy OCEANA shortpants game!

We have always been at war with Oceania.

McBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIN!

Sox can Sux my Rox, Dood

PAAAAAAALLLIIINNNNNN 2012!

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

FEEEEEEEEEIGNNNNNNNN!

or “Poseur” even.

NNNOOOOOO BRAAAAAAAAINS!

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

umm, bonus points to the first one to make a GOOD Zombie Glenn Greenwald joke.

uh, how about:

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEY must be MAAAAAAAAAAAAADE to EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN his INSAAAAAAAAAAAAANE need to DETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN IRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIANS and cause them PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN (???)

or, uh, here’s Greenwald on

Thomas PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINE (???)

okay, I got nuthin’.

Damn she’s fast!!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

Titties!

Did I do it right?

Zombie Batman’s Chiropractor said,

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

Okay, *sincere golf clap*

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

‘Why Are Jews Liberals?’ By Norman Podwhoretz

Backing him up is Canadian wingnut, Daniel Greenfield: “I Do Not Know Any Liberal Jews” I can honestly say that I do not know any Liberal Jews, only the occasional “Human Being”, better known as the Obama voter. And when he says human being, he means Nazi and when he says Obama, he means Hitler.

BOOOOOOO00MB!

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSS! NOT OPPOSIIIIIIIIIIIIITE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSS!

BRAAAAAAAAINS AAAAAAAAAAAAAALSO!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!

Shouldn’t that be “Zombie Rob Zombie”?

oh shit! Did I sign the guest book wrong?

CONTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

ABSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

BAHRAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!

Admit it, you only want me for my Dains.

Get jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaailed, jump baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail
Join the army, if you faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail

MAINTAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!

Looks like DA got his wish. Over 300 comments.

Yep, this looks like the right place.

*must get into character*

*What is my motivation? Oh. Right….*

BRAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAA-NES!!!!!

*putting on tap shoes*

I can also sing and dance.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIILE!

Good God it reeks of zombie in here.

Okay, so I dropped an ‘L’. I dropped my left arm, too. I’m a zombie, remember?

STAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!!

STAAAAAAAAAAAAINS MASSIVE!

EAT MY SPREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD, LOONY LIBS

ZORBEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!

APPALACHIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN DEMS

ZOMBIES must be very careful
When they bite the brain!
Underneath their fine incisors
Stirs to life,—Again!

SCUSE yo finGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHS!

Apparently, even Joe Wilson is horning in on the zombie act.

Nice to see how many Americans hate America, huh?

Blart.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
AMY
Amy who?
AMYGDAAALAAAAA

Relevant:

http://blog.3bulls.net/?p=3136

Knock knock
Who’s there?
AMY
Amy who?
AMYGDAAALAAAAA

VEILED Peeeeeeeeen(eal) reference.

i have it on the best authority that British zombies don’t shamble, they glide. Also, they are quite conversible, with an advanced vocabulary that extends well beyond the “…..unnnhh, …..unnnhh” moanings of their American cousins.

Zombies can’t compete with this portrait of Town Hall Faces.

Thanks for the link to the New York Times review of Podhoretz’s book, Lesley.

You’re welcome, or as the wingnuts say “your welcome.”

Won’t somebody stop my mind?
It’s crawled away I’m going blind
The rats crawl into my head
I can’t forget what I just said
‘Coz I’m (inside my brain)
Ya know I’m living baby (inside my brain)
I’m upstairs (inside my brain)
There’s a hole in my head
Inside my brain

I see black Christmas trees
Barbed wire, funeral homes
I see your face, forest fires
Rats in the streets gnawing at your bones
‘Coz I’m (inside my brain)
I’m looking out yeah (inside my brain)
But there’s a hole in my head (inside my brain)
A brand new world there, yeah
Inside my brain brain brain

Welders drilling at my skull
Subtract my life from one to null
Hot cars and crashing sounds
These are the things that I have found
When I’m inside my brain
Uh, inside my brain
Oh, inside my brain

Yeah baby I found a new home
I drilled a hole in my head
I’m looking out, yeah
It’s a brand new world

VEILED Peeeeeeeeen(eal) reference.
That’s a hippocampus of another colour.

And I just opened Daniel Greenfield link (for some reason I wasn’t getting through earlier today). If you’re a glutton for punishment, Jonah Goldberg has an idiotic contribution to yet another online discussion of “Why Are Jews Liberal?”

I’m fixing a hole
Where my brain gets in
And stops my mind from wondering
Where it will gooooo-ooo-ooo

I just wish they’d fucking resurrect me already, all this Blackest Night bullshit is harshing my mellow.

Jonah demonstrates that wonderful dogged research skill he honed on his book “Liberal Fascism: Why I Deserve More Wingnut Welfare”:

Jonah Goldberg: Why are Jews liberal? In all its various forms, there is probably no question I get asked more. I have not yet had the pleasure of being edified by Norman Podhoretz’s take, which I’m told is a great read, so let me offer a sliver of my own answer to the question.

(emphasis added)

Question for you all:

Is Jonah Goldberg: Why are Jews liberal? the joke or the punchline?

BRANE AND BRANE. WHAT IS BRANE?

Angry wingnut windup toys

FYWP
BRANE AND BRANE! WHAT IS BRANE?

Fuck you!

a zombie fuck you would be more like fuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccck yooooooooooouuuu.

sheesh.

You magnificent bastards. are REALLY devaluing being a zombie.

Thanks a LOT, D.A.

Hey, can one of you zombies go bite Larry Gelbart so he won’t be dead anymore?

RIP, Funny Man.

Oh, BBZ, you’re so sixties. At least I’m in the late ’70s.

Well, my references are in the late ’70s.

David Corn has a post up over at MoJo: teh Neocons love them some Sarah Palin

Wow, talk about zombies. Fucking neocons need to just die, already.

You need to update your CV there.

teh Neocons love them some Sarah Palin

Not much of a surprise – she’d be easy to convince to blow up tons of brown people, and whatever other greedy, bloodthirsty, racisty dickwaddery they have in mind.

Blart.

I know the reason Jews are liberal. So we’re not mistaken for that Jonah douchebag.

Naw. Dead people are the best references. They can write the nicest letters about you.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
ERIC
Eric who?
ARACHNOID MAAATEEEEER
Yeah? Well your mater is so dura, she, um, oh look at the time.

The woman who married Mr. Zadora is a pia mater.

Q: IS IT JUST ME OR HAS THIS SITE BECOME REALLY CRYPTIC LATELY A: Bread. Bread. “Osprey housing!” Bread.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCIA, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCIA, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCIA!

Jinx in the meninx!

Lonely punchline desperately seeks compatible joke.
No time-wasters or ‘Greek Ernes’ please.

ENORMOUS COYPU!

ENORMOUS COYPU!

Kids today, calling it, you know the drill.

I’d make a joke about Stabat Mater, but can’t quite couch a matricide pun.

YOU ARE NOT MY JOKE.

Well la-di-da, look at the snob with his beak up in the aerie.

Via Mr. Atrios, porn:

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/09/11/gingrich-porn/

Man, I’d click that!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Osprey Housing!

I just shot a man named GRAAAAAAAAAAY
and took his wife to ITALAAAAAAAAAY

it’s too late to say you’re sorry
how would I know, why should I care?

http://earthfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/health-care-protest.jpg

Thank god your zombies need passports to enter Canada, not that they ever would.

Wow, zrm’s gone Broadway!

Deal with it, dancing skeleton!

CROW JAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

The eighth anniversary of 9/11. There is no better day I can think of to tear you communists a new one than this. What’s the matter? Are you commie pigs that unpatriotic that one of your ever talented bloggers couldn’t put up a post honoring the victims of the 9/11 attacks?

OH YEAH!

Opps. I require disipline.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/americans_observing_9_11_by?utm_source=a-section

I’m celebrating 9/11 by getting bombed and collapsing.

I’m still totally unclear even after eight years exactly WHY today is “Patriot Day/”.

I mean, WTF?

I’m still totally unclear even after eight years exactly WHY today is “Patriot Day/”.

It’s a bumper-sticker sized contraction of “Scream that no liberal can possibly be a patriot and should therefore be shot day.”

Via Mr. Atrios, porn:

Ha! Newtie unwittingly sends a porn distributor an “Entrepreneur of the Year Award.” His crack team of staffers for whatever sleazy front group is involved then receives word that said company is dealing in pr0n and begins furiously backpedaling claiming that the wrong number was faxed to even though the right company was contacted. Or something.

Hard to EXPLAAAAAAAAAAIN.

AHEMs duly noted prophylactically. Also.

I’m still totally unclear even after eight years exactly WHY today is “Patriot Day/”.

“Obama Has Totally Busted W’s Record For Days Not Being Attacked By Terrorists Since He took Office Day”

HOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

W’s Record For Days Not Being Attacked By Terrorists
Totally unfair comparison. Bush, after all, was hindered by political opponents who rejected the legitimacy of his election and did everything they could to delay his appointments to the government.

Totally unfair comparison. Bush, after all, was hindered by political opponents who rejected the legitimacy of his election and did everything they could to delay his appointments to the government.

How horrible that people would stand in the way of America’s business like that. *huff* Thank god we don’t have to worry about that any more.

…hindered by political opponents who rejected the legitimacy of his election and did everything they could to delay his appointments…

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT! a gosh darn Red minute here. You wanna talk about legitimacy-questioning and appointment-delaying, what about our current Pres—

Ahh, I see what you did there. My rat-like brain limits my sense of irony.

Oh yes: And better trollz, please, also.

Good thing all Jews are left-handed because Eeeuuuwww. Oh wait, that means I’m the Kleenex stuffed catcher. Eeeeuuuwwww. Also, BRAAAANNNEEES.

Terminal MorAAAAAAAINE!!!

He clearly said “to BLAAAAAANES”.

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

I’m not saying this thread is absurd, but purple monkey dishwasher.

BAAAAAAAAYING!

I’m not saying this thread is absurd, but purple monkey dishwasher.

It’s been a melancholy day, we all needed to blow off some STEAAAAAAAAAM!

Just SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYIN’

OMFG! I could not believe that this could possibly be real – but it sure looks like the actual real web site of Tony Zirkle, crusader against Pr0n and for Hitler. Speaking of which, for a thread with Tony Zirkle in it, there’s an awful dearth of Hitler. Also Hitler. Oh and Ha Ha Zirkle!

Does this bite look infected?

SomeNYGuy said,

September 12, 2009 at 2:09

“What, once and then again twenty minutes later?”

(I didn’t say it. But I’m headed for eternal damnation because I told it to you.)

Am I the only one here who has ever tried to circumcize himself using only the power of his mind? It’s exhausting, and I gotta tell you, my glans is still hooded. This is bullshit.

And I spelled circumcise wrong. Fuck it, I’m getting a piece of chert. Flake the damn thing and take care of business.

You know, I keep thinking this thread is called “Me Thread You Long Time.” DAMMIT.

Am I the only one here who has ever tried to circumcize himself using only the power of his mind?

Yeah, well just try mentally circumcising your penis when you don’t even have one. I can tell you right now that NO catalogs sell open-pollinated penis seeds, either.

Wait, Tigrismus, are you telling me you’re female, or an enunch? Because either way, that’s hawt. No, hawt.

I can tell you right now that NO catalogs sell open-pollinated penis seeds, either.

Well, you can always buy a Whizzinator and proceed from there.

TAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN BO CUAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILNGE!

There are girl zombies AND eunuch zombies here. Also: zombie gardeners. Hit them with the shovel as much as you want, they keep coming up just like weeds.

Well, you can always buy a Whizzinator and proceed from there.

Hmm, that and a weed whacker…

TAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN BO CUAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILNGE!

CuchulAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!

Hmm, that and a weed whacker…

Maybe you should start off with a pizza cutter, in order to develop the fine motor control.

These Irish zombies get drunk and the next thing you know they’re pissing brains in the Corrib at Claddagh Quay and shouting in dead Gaelic. It makes me… Hell, wish I was in Ireland.

From Alternet

Book Says Obama’s Life Is at Risk
By Christopher Moraff, The Philadelphia Tribune. Posted September 11, 2009.

Author Ronald Kessler warns that the rise in threats and inadequate govt. resources may be putting the commander in chief at risk.

Editor’s Note: With Obama the target of hate speech and over 30 death threats a day, the FBI needs to hear that it can’t let budget shortfalls get in the way of the president’s life. Will you join AlterNet and Credo and sign a petition calling for the FBI to do everything necessary to confront threats to Obama and expand and fully fund efforts to protect the president of the United States?

[…]

In his best-selling new book, “In the President’s Secret Service,” journalist Ronald Kessler says the increased threat environment along with inadequate resources have led to a culture of “corner cutting” at the Secret Service that may be putting the commander in chief at risk.

Maybe you should start off with a pizza cutter, in order to develop the fine motor control.

I have a Dremel for the detail work.

Natalie MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNESSSSSS!!!

I have a Dremel for the detail work.

Mohel with a Dremel- I know, I know it’s serious.

Dremel, Dremel, Dremel bought in the hardware store.
And when I’ve cut the foreskin, I’ll go and cut some more.

I had a little Dremel
I used it on some wood
And when I spun that Dremel
My PENS it feels so good.

Dremel Dremel Dremel
I stuck you ‘tween my legs
To rout out underneath the flap
And clean out all the smeg

Christ almighty, my pecker just retracted into my abdomen and now there’s only a little pucker like the end of a hot dog. Thanks a lot, Bastard.

Also, Lesley? Way to kill my buzz. Because I always end up walking behind wherever Obama is speaking (it’s a coincidence), and you know that rifle scope POV shot that has the crosshairs in the middle, and the camera zooms in and kinds of sweeps around until it finds a human target, corrects, and when it stabilizes, we see the actor playing the prominent political figure? But after the insert of the assassin’s finger tightening on the trigger, with maybe a matching insert of the assassin’s eye on the scope, we see the politician all of a sudden lurch or go to pick something up, and there’s a bang and in the scope we see some poor schmuck in the background take the bullet? That guy is me. So knock it the fuck off! Also.

Thanks a lot, Bastard.

Hey, I have to live up to the nym!

Hey, I have to live up to the nym!

Uh… Ignore the man behind the cretin.

Circumcising yourself, via the power of the mind or otherwise: that’s nuthin’.

Try thinking yourself into growing your foreskin back. I mean, nobody asked me what I wanted.

Nothing in the hardware store for that. I’ve looked.

My Dremel grinds over my foreskin
My Dremel grinds over my fre-
num; Dremel grinds over my scrotum
For pleasure my Dremel’s the key.

Nothing in the hardware store for that. I’ve looked.

Dremel is your one-stop shop.

Drem-el. Rotary power tool.
Spinning for to carry me home.

I looked over PENIS, what did I see?
Spinning for to carry me home.
A foreskin covering the tip of my wee,
Spinning for to carry me home.

BRAAAAANES R US

http://engrishfunny.com/2009/09/09/engrish-brains/

BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

BRAAAIIINSS Skull Attack!!

I been workin’ with the Dremel
All the livelong day
I been workin’ with the Dremel
Just to grind that ‘skin away

Can’t you hear the motor whirring
Risin’ up so early in the morn (in the morn)
Can’t you hear the “captain” shouting
“Baby grind that horn!”

Nothing in the hardware store for that. I’ve looked.

Try your local knitting store.

WE’RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA!

That’s a hippocampus of another colour

whoa. wait! what? There’s some other horse running around….
nevermind. Wrong hippo.

Wrong campus.

Wrong campus

Wouldn’t Liberty U. be a “Right” campus?

The raaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiin in Spaaaaaaiiin stays maaaaaaaaiiiinly in the plaaaaaaaaaaaaiiin.

10,000 Maaaaaaaaaaaaaniacs

BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! HAHAHAHAHA oh i pissed

You know, you guys are just begging for another round of Foreskin Holocausts.

Do. Not. Go. There.

Do. Not. Go. There.

Fo’ Shoah.

canadian zombie science (really, conclusion is they take over the world unless you kill them right away and fast):

http://www.tgdaily.com/content/view/43669/181/

actual paper from statistician with too much time on hand (or maybe a pathological fear of zombies):

http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf

No pictures of zombies, but lot’s of equations and a couple of nice graphs — references helpful as survival guide.

Z

O (i am not posting too quickly FWP — you just can’t keep up with zombies!)

M

BIES (FYWP — gahd i have the attention span of a two year old)

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS

I love to go, a Dremeling
To shave my hairy crack
I may go blind, but still I grind
Around my scrotal sack.

Et cetera.

BE THE SMALL BOOKCASE

BRAAAAAAAAAANS

HAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

AAAAAAAAAA = AAAAAAAAAA!

‘That’s my point! There’s not going to be five, or even ten! There’s going to be twenty, thirty, maybe a hundred of those things, and as soon as they find out we’re here, this place’ll be crawling with them!

STEEEYYYNNSSSS

OH THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!